M/M, some mild sexual activity.

Disclaimer: they are borrowed, no harm intended.

"Hi, Benny."

"Good morning, Ray. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. I'm sorry about yesterday and the last three weeks for that matter."

"That's all right, Ray. I've already told you there is no need to apologize." Fraser sat down on the bed.

"Hey, Benny, would it be okay if I take a shower? I can go home later and get some clean clothes."

"Of course, Ray, but you have clothes here. Your mother sent them along with some breakfast. Francesca dropped them off an hour ago."

"Really?" Ray looked startled. "I didn't hear her. I didn't know Franny could be that quiet." He looked at Fraser, wondering what exactly had gone on while he was asleep. "They all know about yesterday, don't they Benny? Does everyone at the precinct know too? Speaking of that, I have to get up. I'm going to be late as it is."

Fraser put his hand on Ray's shoulder, pushing him back against the bed. "Yes, Ray, your family knows about yesterday. They were worried about you, but I don't think that should bother you. No one at the precinct knows, they just think you aren't feeling well. And you won't be late, your mother called the precinct and left a message with Elaine that you are ill and will be out for a few days."

"Well, I guess there's no fighting Ma on that. What about you Frasier? Are plaid shirts and jeans the new Mountie uniform?"

Fraser laughed. "No, Ray." He didn't offer Ray an explanation. He had already informed the Consulate he would be ill that day and possibly the next.

"Okay, Benny. Whatever. Since I have clean clothes, I'm going to shower now. Can I borrow some soap and stuff?"

"Yes, Ray, but I think you should eat first."

"All right, Benny." Ray sat up and moved to get out of bed. Fraser stood next to the bed, waiting to see if he could make it. Ray swayed, but straightened. Fraser's hand went to his arm.

"Sit back down, Ray."

"I'm fine, Benny. I keep tellling you. I just need to eat." They walked together to the table with Fraser refusing to let go of Ray's arm until he was seated.

Fraser was determined to find out what was wrong with his friend, but he'd also made up his mind not to push Ray too much. He had begun to worry about both his physical and emotional states. He sat at the table after breakfast, waiting for Ray to shower and dress. In a few minutes, Ray entered the apartment looking significantly better than he had an hour ago. His mother had sent gray pants and a black sweater. He pulled out one of the chairs and sat across from Fraser. As he came closer, Fraser could see Ray still looked tired, even after all the sleeping he had done yesterday.

"I assume you and my other mother have some sort of master plan for the rest of my day, Benny? Please tell me if it involves locking me up somewhere because I have no intention of ending up in another padded room with you."

"No, Ray." Fraser laughed. "You do seem to be feeling better this morning."

"Yeah, Fraser. At least I can stand up without feeling like I'm in the center of a revolving room. Thanks for rescuing me yesterday." Ray looked away, shifting his gaze to the window.

"There is no need to thank me. But, I do want you to tell me how you got into a position to need rescuing. I need to know what's wrong, Ray." Ray recognized Benny's worried voice and wondered how he would get around telling the whole story. Maybe he could leave out that one part and still satisfy Fraser. Or, maybe he could avoid telling him any of it, if he could convince Benny he was okay now.

Ray stood up, trying not to appear anxious. "I told you, I'm fine now. I was just tired and I hadn't been eating and sleeping enough and I was a little depressed. That's all. It's over."

Fraser didn't move. He sat quietly watching Ray, trying to decide whether to back off. His need to know overhwhelmed his desire not to upset Ray. He couldn't let yesterday happen again. "You aren't fine, Ray. Whatever got you where you were yesterday is still there. You're my best friend and I don't want anything to happen to you. You can understand that, can't you? Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Ray seemed to calm down a little. "I understand, Benny. But, you can't always protect your friends."

Fraser wasn't certain what he meant by that. "You can let me try, Ray."

"I told you, Fraser, I was tired and depressed. Look at my life. What's not to be depressed about? Look at what has happened recently. I had no career until you came. I only have one now because of you. Irene died and I couldn't stop it. Louis died in my car and it should have been me. It could have been all of us! I've had to replace two cars. I've been in a plane crash and chased by a murderer through a Canadian forest. I can't make anything work right. And I almost killed my best friend. Can you find something in that not to be depressed about?"

Fraser stared at Ray, who moved quickly to the window, trying to control his shaking and keep Fraser from seeing his almost uncontrollable tears. Fraser got up and stood behind him before speaking. "Most of that was my fault, Ray," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I've caused you so much stress." He felt guilty and frightened he would lose the closest friendship he had ever had. Maybe he deserved to lose Ray's friendship after all that, but he didn't think he could accept the loss.

Ray struggled to regain his control again. He kept his back to Fraser. "None of it was your fault, Benny. I blamed you for some of it until after Irene died, but then I realized you hadn't caused any of it. Even Victoria wasn't really your fault. Even then I couldn't do anything right. I thought I saw a gun, Benny. I promise." He wasn't sure he had made Fraser understand.

"That . . . she . . . it was my fault, Ray. I don't blame you for what happened, I would have lost everything if I had gone with her." He spoke quickly again, before Ray could respond, "And I'm the one who has a job because of you. I don't do much all day, Ray. Since you've been letting me work with you, I feel like I'm a real Mountie."

"You are a real Mountie, Benny. I can't be Superman, like you."

"I'm not Superman, Ray, and I'm sorry I've done so much to hurt you."

"You haven't hurt me, Benny. I . . . " Ray suddenly realized he was in danger of giving up the rest of his problem, the part he couldn't discuss at all. "I don't want you to think any of this was your fault. I'd be a lot worse off if you hadn't come here. I need you to be my friend." Ray thought that last part sounded childish, but that was how he felt.

"I am your friend and I don't enjoy seeing you struggle. Ray, I don't want to push you, but I think there is more you aren't telling me. You have been distant from everyone close to you for weeks, you spend most of your time alone, you haven't been eating or sleeping, and yesterday you got dressed for work then spent the entire morning outdoors in freezing weather doing nothing. When I got there, you were too ill to walk back to your car without help. You've lost weight and you look terrible. I don't think a full explanation is too much to ask. But, if I have to, I will demand one. What is wrong with you?"

"I already told you," Ray answered quietly.

"Yes, now tell me the rest."

"Fine. Just remember you demanded to know everything." Ray paused, decided there was no way out without lying to Benny, then continued. "A few weeks ago I realized I'm attracted to you. That's part of it anyway, there's a lot more than that. If I were just attracted to you, I could ignore it, I think. Mostly anyway. Then everything else started to fall in on me and I've been tired all the time and I started thinking about all the other things that haven't gone right and maybe nothing ever would, and . . . "Ray's words were coming out in a stream and he was afraid Benny would ask him to leave any moment now. Fraser stopped him.

"Ray, I'm sorry." He put both hands on Ray's shoulders and turned him around. Ray refused to look at him. "I'm sorry I waited so long to ask you what was bothering you. I knew something was wrong and I thought you would tell me when you were ready. I was afraid and I'm sorry for that too."

"I don't understand, Benny."

"I know, it's okay, Ray." Fraser pulled Ray closer and dropped one hand to Ray's waist. He felt Ray tense, but he didn't let go. He moved his other hand from Ray's shoulder and slowly pulled Ray's chin up. Ray still refused to look at him. "Don't be shocked, Ray," he said softly, just before he kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Benny?"

"I'm sorry, Ray. Please. I've felt this way for a long time and I was afraid to tell you because I didn't want to lose your friendship."

"Really?" Fraser couldn't tell if Ray sounded more starteld, or frightened.

"Really." He pulled Ray closer for a hug and Ray leaned his head against Fraser's shoulder. Fraser felt his shirt becoming damp against his skin. Ray was crying again.

"It's going to be all right, isn't it Ray?"

"Yeah, Benny."

Fraser placed his cheek against Ray's head and slowly rubbed Ray's back.

"Benny?"

"Yes, Ray?"

"I'm tired."

Ray woke, fully dressed, with Benny lying next to him, watching him. Ray had a small smile at the corners of his lips. Fraser brushed his hand down Ray's cheek and then leaned in and kissed him.

"Ray?"

"Yes, Benny?"

"I love you."

Ray smiled, a real one this time. "I love you too, Benny."

There was another short silence before Fraser asked, "Is there anything you haven't told me, Ray?"

"I don't think so, Benny. Well, maybe. I'm a little worried about my family, I mean when they find out. You know?"

"I think your mother already knows, Ray." Fraser smiled at Ray's apparent surprise. "Don't panic, I'm not certain about that, but I believe she at least suspects. I don't think she would mind very much. Maybe not at all. She didn't seem to think it was odd that you wanted to stay here and she hasn't tried to contact you." He didn't add that she had apparently sent Francesca to talk to him earlier, but he had been thinking about the conversation in his office.

Ray stared at Fraser, trying to absorb the idea. "I hope you're right, Benny. It would make things easier."

"Yes, it would." Fraser kissed him again, on the forehead this time. "Is anything else bothering you?"

"No, Benny. I think we've covered all my problems." Ray laughed.

Fraser brushed Ray's lips with his finger. He decided to let it drop for now, but he was still worried. He couldn't define the source of the feeling, maybe it was simply residual concern caused by the events of the day before.

"What about you? Did you have something on your mind, Fraser?"

Fraser blushed as he slid one hand under Ray's sweater. "Perhaps, Ray."

Several hours later, Fraser sat up in bed, completely nude and leaning against the wall, with the pillows behind his back and his legs spread apart so Ray could sit between them. Ray leaned back against Fraser's chest and rested his head against Fraser's neck. Fraser slowly traced patterns up and down Ray's arm. He shivered and Fraser pulled up the blanket.

"It's not the temperature in the room, Benny."

"Well, I did notice you feel very warm, Ray but you were shivering."

"Imagine that, Benny." Although barely making contact, he slid his fingers slowly up Fraser's thigh, feeling Fraser respond.

"Cold, Benny? You're shivering too, but judging from your other reaction, I assume cold is not a problem." Ray seemed much more relaxed now, even cheerful.

"Ah, no, Ray." Fraser put his arms around Ray, pulling him closer so that Ray's back was pressed tightly against Fraser's chest. He blew softly down Ray's neck, then began carefully pulling at an earlobe with his teeth. He heard Ray gasp and he laughed quietly.

"Ray, you have the most impressive neck I've ever seen."

"Excuse me, Benny?" Fraser suddenly wished he could see the expression on Ray's face better, but he assumed from the sound of his voice that his eyes were wide and his mouth was open. Fraser smiled, surprised by the mental images he could get just by listening to the changes in Ray's voice.

"Your joking, Frasier, right?"

"No, Ray. You have the most beautiful neck I've ever seen." Ray felt Fraser's tongue move down the side of his neck, then he felt the soft blowing again on the damp spots.

"Benny."

Fraser stopped and touched a spot on the top of Ray's shoulder. "Ray, how did you get this tiny scar?"

"What are you doing, Frasier, inspecting me for scratches and dents? Franny bit my right knee when she was four, would you like to see those marks too? I didn't even know I had a scar there, Benny. I guess I forgot about it."

Fraser slid out from behind Ray, leaning him back against the pillows as he moved, and crawled under the covers. Ray felt him move down his body.

"Benny, what are you doing?" This was promising.

"Looking for teeth marks, Ray."

"Benny! I said she bit my knee. That is definitely not my knee, Frasier." Ray gasped as his hips thrust forward. "Benny!"

After staying three days with Fraser, Ray had gone home. He took Benny with him. Fraser quickly discovered he had been right about Mrs. Vecchio. In fact, by the time they arrived for dinner, the entire family seemed to know about the two of them. Even Francesca hadn't seemed very upset. This tended to confirm what Fraser had already come to believe, they had known for some time. Ray's mother spoke to them alone and made it clear she supported their relationship, if it made Ray happy. However, he wasn't entirely off the hook.

"Raimundo, why didn't you tell someone you were unhappy? Why did you make yourself ill for no reason?" It was apparent he would have to answer her questions.

"I don't know, Ma. I didn't think anyone would understand." Ray looked at the floor and tried to evade his mother's demands for answers. Fraser watched Ray and Mrs. Vecchio silently.

"Raimundo, don't be stupid."

"What, Ma?" He was startled by that.

"There is always someone you can talk to, caro. Tell Benton, or one of your sisters, or me. We are your family, we may get angry with you sometimes but we love you. This cannot happen again, Raimundo. I want you to promise me you won't ever do this again." He realized he wasn't getting out of the house until he agreed and she was right, just like Benny had been a few days before.

"I promise, Ma. It wasn't exactly fun for me either." He smiled.

"All right, Raimundo." She kissed him on the cheek and that seemed to be the end of it.

They had returned to Fraser's apartment that night, with no comment from Ray's family. They had almost seemed to expect them both to leave after dinner. Ray was stunned by the whole experience, but he was entirely relieved. He sat on the bed in Benny's apartment with his legs crossed and Dief's head resting on his lap. Ray scratched him behind the ears and thought for a moment how strange the wolf's behavior had been recently. Since Ray had arrived, he had rarely been out of Dief's sight. He quickly shifted his thoughts to Benny.

"Benny, what are you doing?"

"Hanging up my clothes, Ray. I would have thought that was obvious."

"Do you have to do it now?"

Fraser crossed the room to the bed and sat down, simultaneously putting his arm around Ray. He motioned for Dief to get down. The wolf snorted at him and stayed securily with his head in Ray's lap. "Diefenbaker, get down." He didn't move. Finally, Fraser pushed him, as politely as possible, onto the floor.

"Benny, it's your turn to answer a question."

"Yes, Ray." Fraser kissed him briefly then looked at Ray's incomparable green eyes, he was beginning to wonder when the dark circles would go away.

"What's up with Dief? He won't leave me alone. If I leave, he follows me. He even tried to follow me into the shower yesterday. When I sit down he's next to me, or even in my lap, and he's not begging me for food. It's not that I mind, but it's weird. Is this some strange wolf thing, or is there a problem?"

"Well, he was very worried about you, Ray. I'm sure he'll get over it in a few days. Perhaps he needs to make the adjustment to our new relationship. He's obviously happy to have you here . . . not as happy as I am though." He paused. He still had a hard time believing Ray was here at all. Not only was he not alone, he was with Ray. He was completely with Ray. It was amazing. However, he hadn't been able to eliminate the vague feeling that something was wrong and he had no idea what was causing it. But he was happy, and he assumed the feeling would go away when they were more accustomed to being together, something like Dief's unusual behavior. Fraser smiled. "I'll follow you into the shower, if you'd like."

Ray raised his eyebrows, looking both amused and interested. "Yeah, Benny? I'd like that. In the morning?"

"Of course, Ray." He began unbuttoning Ray's shirt. He leaned forward and placed small kisses on Ray's neck as his hands worked on the buttons. "You're overdressed, Ray."

"Ray, didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?" He had been watching his partner eat, or not eat, for the last twenty minutes and now he felt compelled to comment. Ray had taken exactly three bites of his hamburger before putting it down and apparently abandoning it. Now he was drawing a ketchup face on the plate with one of his otherwise untouched french fries.

Ray looked up and frowned. "No, Benny, she didn't. We all play with our food, it's a Vecchio family tradition."

"It must be a little known tradition, Ray, since I've never noticed it in all the times I've eaten with your family."

"That's cute, Frasier. Mountie sarcasm. I don't want any more of my lunch, okay. The french fries are cold and I don't like the hamburger. I'll get a box and take it to Dief." With that, Ray reached for the check.

Fraser sighed, he had noticed Dief had been eating quiet a lot of Ray's food lately. Apparently Ray intended to compensate for the weight he had lost by fattening Dief. But, apart from Ray's accusations yesterday that Fraser was beginning to sound like his mother, they had been getting along very well, even sharing Fraser's small apartment. Ray seemed happy and relaxed, not at all the way he had been that day by the lake, or the weeks leading up to it. Fraser could always arrange to give Dief a few extra runs, he would let it drop for now.

Ray mumbled in his sleep and put his hand on Fraser's chest. Fraser had been watching him sleep in the half-light coming from the street outside. He leaned forward and kissed Ray lightly on the lips, being careful not to wake him. He heard Dief breathing quietly next to the bed, on Ray's side of course. He didn't mind sharing his wolf with his lover, but things were getting out of hand. It seemed to Fraser as if he had begun sharing his lover with his wolf. He had been forced to shove Dief off the bed again tonight, that was becoming a habit. He either curled himself around Ray's feet, or stretched out on the bed with his head in Ray's lap and refused to move. Dief sometimes sulked and pouted, but it wasn't like him to cling. It added to the vague feeling of concern Fraser had been experiencing for the two weeks he and Ray had been together. It wasn't dissatisfaction with the relationship, he could not have imagined feeling so content having someone live with him. This was what he had wanted for months and it had been the right decision, they were both certain of that. The sex was great too. At that, Fraser felt himself blush, even in the dark with no one looking.

He couldn't sleep. The feeling wouldn't go away. It was a little like leaving for a trip and knowing he had left something important behind, but not being able to remember what. The difference was, this had an element of dread. This was ridiculous, it was dangerously near a hunch and hunches were Ray's strong point. Fraser thought empirically and there was no real reason to assume anything was wrong. Ray was happy, he was still too thin and he looked tired, but Fraser thought that would improve now that they had worked things out. He was beginning to wonder when it would improve, though. Ray turned and put his head on Fraser's chest without waking. Fraser's partner was slightly hot and sweaty, but it was wonderful feeling Ray against his skin under any circumstances. He put his arms around him and smiled. Everything was fine, he was being silly. He was just being silly, wasn't he? If he could get that annoying feeling to go away and clear his mind, he could go to sleep. Or, he could just lie there feeling Ray asleep on his chest, that had its advantages.