Rated NC-17 for graphic depictions of sex and nonconsensual sex (rape) Pairings BF/RV, BF/FV
This is the sequel to Purgatory

Comments taken at: Lkiwki@bigfoot.com

LIMBO

Ray woke up in the chair beside his best friend, Benton's hospital bed. He had been waiting for Benny to wake for 24 hours. The doctor's called it exhaustion, Ray knew better. Benny was hiding, hiding from everything that had hurt him. Ray had stayed with Benny while they moved him to the hospital and through the removal of those ghastly golden manacles. Ben had remained ominously quiet through the whole ordeal. The only words he had spoken after the arrival of the ambulance had been for Grandmere to take Chase to the Vecchio home and care for him there.

The Doctor's felt Ben was going to be bed ridden for some time. He had been starved and his muscles all needed rebuilding. So far the worst visible effect of his kidnapping was that his legs were still immobile from whatever drug Michelle had been using on him. The Doctor's thought it was something different than had been used on Ray, but had no idea what it was, their best guess was that the effects of the drug might wear off eventually.

Ray watched Ben's face intently, wanting him to wake up, but dreading it. Ben moved his head on the pillow, his eyes began to open. Ray watched as his friend froze, seemed to halt his breathing and listen intently to his surroundings. Then Ben sighed, the muscles he had held tensed relaxing. Ray smiled at Ben.

"Hey you got lots of tubes in you pal. You get to eat even while you're sleeping." He teased Ben.

He watched Ben painfully try to move his arms. "I'm a mess Ray" Ben whispered.

"Na, just a semi-mess" Ray quipped back.

Ben started to fall asleep again, his eyes drooping. A male nurse walked into the room to check Ben's monitors and tubes. Ray watched Benny stiffen and almost stop breathing as he realized there was someone else in the room. The man smiled at Ray and gently reached for Ben's wrist to check his pulse.

Ray watched as Benny froze again. Ben went crazy the moment the nurse's hand actually touched him. He screamed, and moved as far over in the bed as he could, tears filling his eyes. "Ray, get him away, Ray" Ben's voice pleaded loudly.

As Ray began to rise from his chair to go to Ben, several nurses rushed into the room. The nurses surrounded Ben's bed. The largest of the nurses began urging Ben to settle down. But Ben was not listening. She nodded to one of the smaller nurses who began attaching leather restraints to Ben's bed. Ben watched her, his eyes big and round.

Ray, jumped to his feet. "Hey, you read his chart, lady. You can't do that to him." He yelled as he stepped up to Ben's bed.

Ben began pulling himself into a ball as he lay on his side, tears flowing. "I won't say NO, please don't. I won't say NO." he whispered over and over again.

Ray pushed the nurse nearest to Ben away, and enfolded him in his arms. "Shhhh, Benny. I won't let anyone touch you that you don't want, ok."

But Ray could see Benny was not listening. Ben was shaking and crying as he tried to make himself smaller in the shelter of Ray's arms. Ray held Benny tight, tears coming to his own eyes.

The nurse in charge whispered to one of the other nurses who then turned and left the room. She returned several minutes later with a hypo. She handed it to the supervising nurse. She leaned over towards Ben as quietly as she could and released the shot into his hip. Ray felt Ben's body begin to relax almost at once.

Ray lowered Ben back to the bed and covered him again with the regulation hospital blanket. When he turned around, he found he was the only person in the room besides Ben.

Ray leaned over and brushed Ben's curly hair with his fingers. He knew Ben would sleep now, so he stretched and left the room. Ray walked down the hospital corridor stretching and rubbing his back. Near the elevator was the waiting room for families, he knew there were vending machines there, coffee sounded good. When Ray entered the room, he was surprised to see most of the seating area filled by his and Ben's friends. It's weird he thought, Franny and Inspector Thatcher were sharing a small loveseat, each asleep with head thrown back. Welsh was sitting on a small chair with his arms across his chest and leaning his body against the wall. Huey was actually curled up on the floor, asleep.

Ray tiptoed over to Thatcher and gently touched her arm. Ray noticed that Meg's face was as relaxed as he had seen it in the last 25 days. Gosh Benny was gone almost a month Ray thought to himself. Meg opened her eyes sleepily. She looked into Ray's eyes. Meg began stretching her body, and sighed deeply.

"How is he," she questioned in whisper of soft expelled air.

"Not good, but sleeping right now. I think we gotta big problem Inspector." Ray replied. "Benny can't be left alone with these nurses. A male nurse walked in there a bit ago and he freaked out. I think we're going to have set up tag team surveillance on him."

"Tag team?"

"Yea, set up a schedule so one of us will be with him round the clock for the first few days." Ray's eyes filled with tears. "They were gonna strap him down to the bed." His whisper was so soft that Meg wasn't sure she had heard it.

Meg Thatcher was many things, a control freak, commanding officer, and all woman. She bolted upright in the sofa and put her hand on Ray's as it laid the arm of the furniture. "You're right, right now he needs protecting." She stood and as quietly as she could make her way to where Welsh appeared to be sleeping.

"I heard, Inspector. Let's get the show on the road." Welsh replied as he raised his eyelids and sat up straight in his chair.

Ray made his way back into Ben's room quietly. Ben was still sleeping under the effects of the shot. His doctor stood near him, chart in hand. Ray cleared his throat to let the man know he was there. When the doctor looked at him, Ray shook his head towards the door and moved out of the room. The doctor smiled and followed. He'd already heard from the nurses that this patient had a cheering section of some size.

Ray leaned against the hall wall, folding his arms across his chest. With a determined look on his face, Ray faced the doctor. The man was young, but not a fledging of his profession. Ray watched the man's eyes intently, looking for some hint to what his response might be to Ray's suggestions.

"Your friend is going to need round the clock nursing for a bit, and that could be expensive. Will his medical plan pick up for this. I only ask, because if I can't be assured that he will get round the clock, bedside attention for the first few days, I won't be responsible for anything he might do to himself."

"Doc, you don't know Benny, he's not the kind of man to hurt himself like that."

"I'm sorry detective, but has he ever been in a situation like this before? I don't think any of us caring for him right now can guess what he might do. These situations change people, make them react in ways they wouldn't normally." Compassion filled the doctor's eyes.

"Well, his friends and I already discussed the round clock bit. We're gonna set up relay of his friends to watch over him." Ray didn't mention that they wanted to protect him from the hospital staff if necessary.

The doctor smiled, "Can you step on down to the nurses station, then. I want to explain in more detail what we're up against here, and have you leave a list of the people who will be "sitting" with Ben.

Fifteen minutes later, Ray was again sitting watching Ben sleep. He looked around the room, noticing its bareness. All hospital rooms are alike, he thought, awful. Ben began thrashing around on the bed and making little noises in his throat. Ray reached over and gently took one of Ben's hands in his. "Shhh, it's me, Ray. Everything is ok. Go back to sleep Benny" Ben sighed and relaxed.

Half an hour later, Meg and Franny walked into to room. Ray was asleep, but still holding Ben's hand. He woke slowly, remembering where he was. He noticed they both had tears in their eyes. He blinked and tried to keep his own tears back.

"Meg's going to stay with Ben now," Franny said. "I'll drive you home, ok Ray."

"Sure." Ray stood, but kept Ben's hand in his. He leaned over to put his head down near Ben's. "I'm leaving for a bit, Benny. But Meg's going to be here, see, here's her hand." Ray transferred Ben's hand into Meg's. She sat down slowly in the chair, Franny had set a little closer to the bed. They all held their breath to see if Ben would reject her touch. Ben gave out one sigh and rolled his body towards Meg.

Ray smiled. "I think this is gonna work." He whispered triumphantly.

Franny drove efficiently down the road. Ray teased her about many things, but driving was one area he left her alone about. He knew she was a safe driver. He sat hunched in his seat, shoulder against the window.

"Ray," She took a deep breath, "I think I have another idea how we can help Ben."

Ray turned to her. "What do you have in mind Franny."

"I think we should have a picture taking session with Chase, Dief and that puppy. Then put the pictures where Ben can see them. Might give him something to look forward to, what do ya think?"

Ray gave her a huge grin. "I think you got a major idea there, sis. Only I think we'll make a voice recording of Chase too, so we can play that for him. Maybe switch tapes daily."

Franny's eyes never left the road, but she nodded. "I'll drop you off at the house and run over to one of the stores nearby and get some film and tapes. You gonna tell Ma how bad this really is?"

Ray hesitated, "I don't know. You know how fond of Benny she is, she'd probably mobilize the whole Vecchio familia, including priests to protect Ben."

The Rivi pulled up in front of their home, Ray got out and leaned back in the window. "I'm gonna soft peddle some of this for Ma and Ben's Grandmere. I don't think Ben wants either of them to know all the details. See you when I wake up sis."

He turned and straightening his shoulders walked into the house as Franny pulled the Rivi away from the curb. He was about to open the front door, when he heard the sounds of dogs barking and Chase laughing. He changed direction and went to the back yard.

Ray watched the toddler playing in the yard with the puppy and Dief. The little boy's curly hair blew softly in the spring breeze as he ran with the two dogs. He abruptly turned on his heels and started running towards the house.

"Uncle Ray, did you see my papa today, did you?" rang out Chase Fraser's little voice.

Ray knelt down on the ground and encircled the little boy with his arms as Chase fell against him. Huge cerulean eyes search emerald green eyes.

"Yea, I saw your papa. He's trying very hard to get well so he can come home to you and Dief and that puppy of yours." He held the boy close as he stood up and turned to enter his house.

"Ma, Chase was in the yard on his own." Ray listened for his mother's reply.

The sounds of a wheel chair gliding across the floor filled the room. "Grandmere, Uncle Ray saw papa today." Chase yelled out.

Ma Vecchio followed Chase's Grandmere into the kitchen. "Chase, aren't you supposed to be upstairs resting?" she chided in her best grandma tones.

"Dief wanted outside, so we went."

Ray sighed, did no Fraser ever listen to good advise. *

"Ma, you know why Chase is supposed to stay in the house."

Grandmere smiled at Ray. "I will do a better job, Ray. How is my other grandson? Thank you for arranging for Chase and I to be here."

"Chase, go upstairs and play with the cousins ok," Ray smiled at the little boy.

"Ok, Ray." Said the little boy in just the same way he papa would say it. He ran from the room trailed by the two dogs.

When Ray was sure they were alone he pulled a chair out from the table and fell into it. He dropped his head into his hands for minute then turned his tear filled eyes to face his mother.

"He's real bad Ma. Real bad", tears began to flow down his face. Ma moved to stand beside him and wrapped him in her arms. Ray let go, finally getting rid of all the fears he held at bay for so many days.

Grandmere quietly moved into position next to Ray and his mother. She laid one of her frail hands on his. Ray opened his eyes to see the tears pouring down her face.

Ray patted Grandmere's hand. "It's going to get better. You'll see."

He outlined Franny's plan to the two women. He talked to them for a half hour, but not once did he tell them just how badly Michelle and her accomplice had treated Ben. Not once did he tell them what the doctor's were worried about. He didn't know that Grandmere already had a pretty good idea of how things stood and that the two women had already dried each other's tears.

Ray climbed the stairs to his room with heavy feet. His shoulders pulled down. As he opened his bedroom door, he heard little voices down the hall. He stopped a minute as he heard Dief and the puppy yapping in response.

Chase's little voiced carried down the hall to Ray. "My papa is going to get better. Uncle Ray said he would. When my papa comes home, he'll be able to play with me and Dief and puppy." Chase's voice rose a little at the end. Ray listened, but heard nothing in answer to Chase. He pushed his door open, walked in and fell on his bed, the hell with crushing the clothes was his last thought before falling in a deep sleep.

Ray rolled over in bed and watched the morning light filtering through his window. He moaned and rolled over again. He heard something and lay very still. Ray let his eyes open to the merest of slits. Chase stood next to his bed, Dief next to him and the puppy stood under Dief. Chase had his finger to his mouth, shaking his head at other two. Little Chase turned to look at Ray, his father's eyes reflected in his. He leaned over and as children will do, put a soft, pudgy toddler finger on one of Ray's eyes. He lifted as carefully as only a toddler would to see Ray's eye looking at him. Chase giggled and climbed up to plop next to Ray on the Bed.

"I knew you were awake."

"Ya did," Ray smiled and crinkled his eyes shut. "I'm trying to sleep here Chase. Give me a break." But already one of Ray's arms was snaking around to hug the little boy.

Ray grabbed Chase quickly and began to roll around on the bed with him. Tickling all those little areas, which set Chase laughing. Dief took that as his cue and jumped on the bed too. The wolf began to lick Ray. "Gees toddlers and wolves in my bed. What next." The puppy began whining and Ray collapsed laughing into his pillows. "Wolves, yes. Puppies, no. At least until I know he's house broke for sure. Don't tell you papa I said that Chase. It wouldn't do for him to know I like the wolf here that much. Ok?"

Ma Vecchio walked by Ray's door and heard all the laughter inside. She smiled, It was good to hear them laughing. Benny's son was good for her Raymondo. She went closer to the door Chase had left open and peaked inside. Ray's bed was filled with movement as the tickling began again. Chase's head was thrown back, his dark curls bouncing. Dief was feigning boredom as he lay next to the human pair.

Ray saw his mother's eyes as she put her head around the door. His heart felt good as he saw her laughter expressed. She approved. He stopped tickling Chase and set the boy down. "You run along Chase, I'll be down in a bit." Chase threw his arms around Ray, then turned and ran from the run with eight doggy type feet running after him.

As Ray swung his legs over the side of his bed, his mother came in and sat beside him. "Francesca told me her idea. I think it is a good one. She bought one of those instant camera thingy's. Pictures of his son surrounding him might be just what he needs." She put her hand on the side of his face. "Tell Benton, he and his family are welcome here for as long as he needs us. Ok, caro."

Ray felt tears choking his throat and put his arms around his mother. "You're the best ma." Her arms enveloped her son, wishing she could take the pain away.

Ray entered Ben's room, his arms filled with bags, a huge coffee clutched in one hand. Thatcher still held Ben's hand and sat slumped in the visitor's chair as close to the bed as physically possible. He began tiptoeing over the patient dresser where several huge vases of flowers already set in place.

From one of the bags he began taking out of photos of Chase, Dief and the puppy. Laughing poses, poses of them running. Chase had been happy to run around the back yard in toddler fashion. There was even one with Chase holding a huge sign that read, "I love you papa."

That done, Ray opened another bag and began taking out a Ma Vecchio packed breakfast. She had decided that hospital food was not good enough for anyone taking care of her Benton.

Putting one hand on Thatcher's shoulder he shook her a little. Her eyes opened quickly. Ray opened his mouth and formed the words, 'How was the night', to her. She shook her head positively. 'Still drugged deeply', she mouth back.

Ray indicated the breakfast on the counter for her and put his hand next to hers' to make the switch from one handhold to another.

Ben never moved, or indicated in any way that he knew one person was letting go of his hand and another taking it. He slept on, his face visibly relaxed.

Meg surveyed the pictures Ray had put out. Her hand dropped to pick up the one with Chase showing his biggest smile and holding the sign. Picking it up, she moved over and placed the picture on the table next to Ben's bed.

A nurse entered the room and began to move Ben's bed sideways. Both Ray and Meg threw stern looks at her. The nurse indicated a new patient was to be admitted into the room.

Meg's eyes took on their most officious glare. "This is a private room and will remain so while Constable Fraser required it. Do you understand?"

The nurse was very young and quailed before Meg. She raced from the room to return with the floor's head nurse. Meg took the ladies measure in one look. "I believe we did not state clearly enough to your staff yesterday that Constable Fraser is to have complete privacy." She stated in a manner of fact, yet governmental way. "Please check with the Constable's physician and I think he will confirm our intentions."

"We're short of workers and space here," came the reply. "No one gets preferential treatment here."

Meg Thatcher was not a woman to be put in her place lightly. She approached the woman until they stood almost nose-to-nose. Without raising her voice Meg suggested they leave the room and the patient in peace to discuss the matter.

Go for it Ray thought with a smile. "Benny," he whispered "Thatcher's one gutsy lady."

In the hallway, Meg pointed out tersely that the Constable's friends were relieving the hospital staff of much of the extra work in caring for him. She demanded to know if the woman had read Ben's chart before deciding to place another occupant in the room. It was then the woman began to look sheepish. No, she hadn't. Too rushed. Too little time. Meg thanked her, turned on her heel and left the woman standing in the hall. When she returned to Ben's room, she was surprised to see Ben beginning to open his eyes.

Ben could feel the difference in the atmosphere of the room as he woke. He knew he was no longer a captive. He was on his lying on his side, a hand holding his. His brain felt all fuzzy, his body's bruises screamed at him. But he felt warmth and friendship in the room, not the cold, quiet he had become used to in the last weeks. His checks began to turn pink at the idea of someone holding hand. He pushed his eyelids up more to see who was holding his fingers in a warm, loving grasp. It didn't surprise him to see Ray there. But he was surprised to notice Ray was smiling across the room at someone. Ben carefully moved his head on the pillow and met Meg's eyes. He noted the warmth in them as they looked at Ray. He felt the warmth returned to her from Ray. He gave a soft sigh, "Ray."

Ray heard his name whispered and tightened his grip on Ben's hand. "Hey, buddy. It's gonna be ok. You and Chase are safe now."

For a fleeting moment there was Ben's glorious smile on his face. But that radiant, warmth-casting smile disappeared quickly as Ben realized where he was. He tried pulling his hand away from Ray's and succeeded because Ray wasn't expecting it. Ben drew his arms into his chest and felt his shoulders shouting at him as did. He wanted to pull up into a little ball and couldn't because he legs still wouldn't move. The best he could do was to turn his head into his pillow cradling his stomach with his arms against his chest. Tears fell from his eyes, filled his throat, and began to choke him as he tried to reign in his feelings.

Meg was horrified. She had expected some fierce reaction, but this was more than she could take. Her eyes flew to Ray's. His eyes were brimming with tears too. She put her hand to her mouth and slipped out of the room. She leaned into the wall outside the room, letting the tears flow. Her arms wrapped themselves around her middle. She seemed defeated, small and weak.

Ray moved to sit on the bed next to Ben and gently began rubbing his hand up and down Ben's back. When Ben didn't react, he gently lifted his friend's torso up into his arms and planted his head against Ben's hair. Ray did what his mother did for all the children. He began rocking back and forth, holding Ben to him, humming softly while Ben shed his tears.

Ben began repeating over and over, "I'm sorry Ray, I'm sorry. I said no. Why didn't they listen. I'm sorry."

Ray held Ben away from him a little and tried to get Ben to look at him. "Oh God, Benny. This wasn't your fault. Not your fault." Ben tilted his head back to see Ray and saw Ray's tears. "Ray, hold me. Hold me, Ray. Don't let go." He cried.

"I won't let you go, Ben. I'll be right here for as long as you need me. Got that buddy." Ray said threw a larynx that seemed crushed and tight.

Ben's doctor came down the corridor with Ben's chart and saw Meg small and weak against the wall. He approached her slowly, quietly. When he was standing right next to her, he made a sound in his throat. Then whispered, "He's awake, isn't he?"

Meg lifted her tear-swollen eyes and nodded. "Can he recover from this? It's so devastating for him." The words came out slowly. "His is such a gentle soul. You wouldn't expect that in a police officer, but he is very gentle of spirit, a good friend, and good officer."

"This is going to take time and lots of help. But I can see Ben has a good support group and if all of you can hang in there for him, I would think he might have a chance at full recovery. But his healing is ultimately up to himself. We need to deal with the physical injuries first and get him talking to professionals. We'll evaluate his condition in a few days."

"He's going to hate being here." Meg said.

"You might find yourself wrong about that," he responded. "But, we'll see."

Ray felt Ben's body begin to relax and gently laid him back down into the bed. He brought the covers up around Ben and searched Ben's face for some reaction. Ben had cried himself out, but now lay there unmoving, staring out the window.

Meg and the doctor entered the room. The doctor walked around Ben's bed to stand between Ben and the window, cutting off Ben's view. Ben didn't move, didn't flinch. He didn't acknowledge that anyone was there. Passively Ben let the doctor check over his eyes, face, shoulders and arms. Meg turned around and left the room. It was all too much for her. Ray sank back into his chair as the doctor uncovered Ben's check and legs. The bruises on Ben's body were already beginning to fade, their colors making rainbows across his ribs, around his nipples and hip area. Ray's stomach heaved when he saw the bite marks on the inside of Ben's thighs around his knees and groin. He got up and ran into the bathroom. Ray returned to see Ben covered up and staring out the window. The doctor motioned him to join him in the hall.

"Be right back, Ben." Ray tried to say in a level tone of voice. "Be right back."

Meg joined Ray and the doctor and listened quietly. "Physically, he's starting to heal. But I think he may be shutting down on us mentally. Keep talking to him, holding him anything you can think of to keep a connection for him to reality. I noticed pictures of a little boy in there. His son?" They both nodded. "Pictures are a good idea. Why don't you try tape-recording his voice too? Looks like a bright kid, his laughter might help."

The doctor gently touched each of their shoulders and left.

Ray stayed at the hospital throughout the morning. Franny relieved him in the early afternoon, so he could sleep. Welsh relieved Franny and Meg came back at 6 to stay for a few hours. All through the day, Ben didn't move much. He slept even while the nurses came in to change his IV.

It was dark in the hospital; night-lights were on in the patients' rooms. The halls were bright. The nurse's stations were quiet. Ray sat holding Ben's hand again, quietly dozing in his chair. Ben woke again. Drifted up out his closed world to see his best friend almost sleeping in the hospital chair. Ben's eyes softened their gaze. Friends, he thought, I have friends. He vaguely remembered seeing Meg in that chair last night. And although he didn't precisely remember, he knew he had never been alone all through the day. Vestiges of his self-confidence began to poke their heads into his consciousness. Somewhere inside him, he knew he would make it, knew he was safe.

Chase had had a long day for a toddler. Surrounded by the Vecchio grandchildren, he sat on the floor with his puppy; Dief plastered against his little body. His little, curly head drooped, his puppy slept in his lap. His Grandmere watched him from her wheelchair.

Ma Vecchio noted that it was bedtime and cleared her throat. Her grandchildren all wriggled their little bodies. "Time for bed, little ones." She said. The children all scrambled up and fled up the stairs. All that is but Chase.

Grandmere spoke French to the little boy asking him to get ready for bed. To her surprise the almost 3 1/2 year old stared her down. "I am not going to bed until I see my papa." He stated flatly. "And neither is Dief."

The two women exchanged glances. Chase had been told that Ben would be in the hospital for days. But it seemed he didn't understand.

Chase crossed his arms across his chest and said, "I want to say goodnight to my papa. I didn't have papa before and he needs me."

Franny entered the room to hear the little boy making his demand. She looked to the two women saw they were both speechless.

"Chase, this has been explained to you. You cannot see your papa. He will come home to you soon. But you cannot see him now. Now, bon nuit Chase." His Grandmere stated in a matter of fact tone.

Chase still sat with crossed arms and shook his curly head hard. "NO. I want to see my papa."

Franny knelt down beside Chase. "You know, maybe you should say good night to your papa." She turned to face the older women. "I think I know just how to do that."

Chase's face brightened. Dief sat up quickly. And the puppy tumbled from Chase's lap.

Sometime later Lieutenant Welsh wandered down the hospital corridor a huge laundry carryall hanging from his right hand. Dief snuck along behind him. Welsh stuck his head into Ben's room and was happy to see Ray awake. He motioned for Vecchio to come out into the hall.

"How is he doing?"

Ray replied that it had been a rough morning and afternoon, but things were better this evening.

"Think he could handle a surprise?"

Ray searched the Lieutenant's face. "I don't know, surprises may not be such a good thing."

Dief stuck his head out around the Lieutenant's legs to whine up at Ray. Dief licked at the laundry bag and whined again.

Ray heard a small chuckle rising from the bag. Comprehension of the situation put a grin on the Italian's face. "Oh, I see sir. You brought certain items for the Constable that might be comforting to him." Ray remarked as a nurse passed them by.

Ray stepped back and motioned Dief and the Lieutenant into Ben's room.

Ben heard their whispering outside his door, but didn't turn his face in that direction. He lay as comfortably as he could trying to find a place that didn't hurt on his body.

Dief trotted into his room first and whined for his attention. Ben didn't respond quickly so Dief stood up to the bed and licked one Ben's hands. Ben absently began petting the wolf's head.

Ben felt the Lieutenant set the laundry bag on the bed but didn't look in that direction, nor did he notice that Ray was shutting the door.

Welsh slowly undid the strings on the laundry bag keeping watch on Ben. He wasn't sure about this, but Franny was twisting away and so were the old ladies. He'd take a chance. A curly head bobbed up out of the bag. Chase dressed in his pajamas crawled out onto his father's bed. As children will, he gave a bounce on the bed.

Ben was familiar with that bouncing move and turned his head towards Welsh. That was all Chase needed to scramble up the bed and throw his little arms around Ben. "They said I couldn't come papa, but I made them. Wanted to say bon nuit papa."

Ben's arms curled around his son, holding him tight. Chase looked up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. There were tears in Ben's eyes again, but these were tears of happiness. A medicine he needed a good dose of right now. Ben turned on his side and laid his son down beside him and turned a grateful look at the Lieutenant. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

The Lieutenant raised his hands in the air. "I'm just the messenger, thank Franny and those old women who love you." Welsh growled a little. "I'll pick the package up in the morning." He smiled and left the room.

Ray followed Welsh out to the door, "Thank that sis of mine, will ya."

Chase looked up into his papa's eyes. Eyes that he had only seen once before. He felt home. He felt loved. He loved his papa.

Two Fraser's fell asleep hugging each other. In a corner of the room, Robert Fraser watched with a smile on his face. "Way to go Son, way to go."

Chapter 3

Chase woke with a smile as he lay in his father's arms. His little arms were wrapped around Ben's left arm. Ben's curly hair lay next to his. He saw Ray sleeping in the chair next to their bed and Dief sleeping on the floor.

The sun was just rising and sending it's early morning rays into the room. Chase snuggled closer to the warmth of his father's body, a smile curving his lips. He fell back to sleep.

Ben felt Chase's movements and smiled to himself. Of the happenings of the last month, Chase provided wonderful moments to cherish. The little boy was becoming his lifeline and Ben was aware of it. With Chase near him, all bad memories were banished from thought. Ben pulled Chase a little closer into his arms and he too drifted back to sleep.

Ray slept in the visitor's chair having passed a fairly comfortable night. But the rays of the sun were quickly spreading through the room soon to wake him.

The door quietly opened and two young nurses heads peaked in. See said one to the other, I told you there was a dog in there. They stood up on tiptoe to try and see the man sleeping in the bed. They exchanged surprised looks and closed the door. The head nurse, the very same who talked to Meg was passing them in the corridor and noticed their tsk tsking. With her best efficient nurse look on her face she got their attention with softly whispered "ladies". The young nurses turned to her, indecision in their faces. The more stalwart of the two volunteered the information that there were hospital rule violations in the patient's room. Namely a dog and a child were in there.

The Head Nurse was an astute woman, she knew the infractions should be reported and dealt with summarily. However, she remembered her encounter with Meg and also knew they were dealing with foreigners. She didn't want a repeat of that confrontation nor did she want to bring the hospital to the attention of the news media. With a sigh, she informed the young nurses that that patient was a Canadian and lapses in their own hospital protocol must be expected. She straightened her shoulders and marched away.

Lieutenant Welsh arrived to retrieve Chase, laundry bag in hand. He was spotted by the Head Nurse, who now knew exactly how the little tyke was snuck into that room. She approached the Welsh with a glint in her eye. "I don't think you'll be needing that bag again. Just check in and out of the nurses station when he comes and I'll make sure they have privacy while the boy is here."

"Thank you kindly" Welsh found himself saying words he thought privately belonged exclusively to the Mountie and proceeded on down to Ben's room. He opened the door and surveyed the familial scene. The sooner the Mountie was allowed out of here the better he thought. Dief snapped his head up when Welsh entered the room, and slowly stretched and yawned. Ray heard the sound of the wolf's nails on the floor and began stretching too. He realized he had slept the whole night through.

Welsh and Ray turned their eyes towards the bed to see it's two occupants fast asleep. For the first time since coming to the hospital Ben's face was relaxed in slumber. Chase began wiggling as he began to wake. Ben let out a sigh and rolled a little away from his son. Four blue eyes slowly opened and exchanged a look of such love, a look that would make the angels cry.

Ray and Welsh cleared their throats of the tightness that suddenly seemed to overtake them. Two hardened cops smiled.

The tag team kept their vigil on Ben for the first 72 hours of his stay in the hospital. Then Ben's days began to coalesce into long days of physical therapy and group sessions with a therapist. All of Ben's days were hard, some harder than others. But his nights were now filled with the pleasure of getting to know the son he had just come to know.

His physical therapy was moving slowly and he would be using a wheel chair for sometime before they would graduate him to crutches. Ben's physical appearance began to flesh out to his former shape. His eyes were clear, his bruises gone. All of his friends began to feel he was on the way to normality. However, his doctor privately cautioned Thatcher that he thought a storm was yet to come.

Chapter 4

Robert Fraser began spending a lot of time watching his son recover. However, he made sure Ben was not aware of his presence. Nights while Ben lay sleeping; his father sat on the windowsill watching Ben and Chase, an indulgent smile on his face. Grandkids are a wonderful thing he would muse to himself. He made sure he was gone every morning before his family would wake, giving each a kiss on the brow as he left and a smile to the sleeping detective.

One morning in the very early hours of predawn, Chase woke early just as Robert was kissing Ben. The little boy watched in awe as the red clad man leaned towards him too.

"Nice to meet you Chase." Robert smiled his winsome smile. "I'm your grandpa, Robert Fraser. Don't tell anyone you see me though. They wouldn't believe you boy."

Chase reached up a toddler's chubby arm to try and touch his grandfather. But his hand found no substance. Chase's life to this point had been filled with many strange things. He knew he saw his mother once in a while, he hadn't told Grandmere or anyone about that. Every time he saw her, she smiled and held a finger to her lips as if to say shhhhhh. So he wasn't at all surprised when he couldn't touch his grandfather. He rolled over and went back to sleep in his father's comforting arms. Robert kissed him and left.

The only witness to Robert's comings and goings was Dief, who always knew when things were happening. He'd perk his ears and lay facing Robert, a thump of his tail resounding in the room.

Chase spent his days playing with the Vecchio grandchildren and loving his Grandmere. Everywhere he went his puppy followed. The puppy was growing and showing more of an adult form. It didn't surprise Ray one bit to realize that Chase's puppy was a husky and a good companion for the little boy. Chase's puppy began to go into what Ray privately called 'guard' mode around his little master. Whenever Chase seemed to be in imminent danger, the puppy would place himself between Chase and whatever or whomever seemed to be the problem.

Ray noticed this as he watched them play one lazy afternoon. Chase had fallen as he ran from the other children in a game of tag. The puppy stopped dead in his tracks, jumped to stand over Chase and stood barking at the other children until they backed away giving Chase room to get up. Smiling Ray turned and went into the house. They were gonna have to find that puppy a good strong name. If Chase was going to be like Fraser, the puppy would need all the help a strong name could give him.

It seemed like months to Ben since he had been lying in the hospital bed or going to therapy, his days filled with healing. He was looking forward to leaving the hospital. He had to remain in the wheel chair for a while longer, but would soon begin working on using crutches. The damage done to him by the drugs Michelle had used and the inactivity of his captivity was going to take months to heal. Ben could deal with that, he couldn't deal with not being able to lift Chase up on his lap or onto the bed. But those things would come to Ben in time.

The doctors consulted with Thatcher (as Ben's superior officer) and Ray, his best friend. They held nothing back from the two. Ben was healing nicely, but they felt that he was holding back. They were warned to watch Ben closely and let them know if they noticed differences in Ben's behavior.

The Vecchio home was filled with chaotic movement. Grandmere sat in the living room watching officers from the 27th and Turnbull hauling all the furniture out of the spare room facing the garden. A hospital bed was brought in and other items an invalid might need. But when the basics were in place, Franny, Ma Vecchio and Grandmere took over. Grandmere picked up a phone and called the manager of her estate. Hours later things began arriving. Franny chose flowers to fill the room, Ma Vecchio made sure the closet was empty and room was made for Ben's things. By nightfall, the room was filled with luxurious curtains, soft rugs, and a thick, warm cover was on the bed. An Armour stood against one wall, that when opened housed all the medical needs Ben might need, a pair of crutches, a cane, etc. Grandmere had ordered a very expensive wheel chair for Ben. It sat waiting to be taken to the hospital for Ben's ride home.

Ray peaked into the garden room that Ben would be staying in during his recovery. It's luxurious furnishings were not quite Ben he thought. It was clear to Ray that the women of the family had gone all out to try and cheer Ben up. Ray wondered if Ben would be overwhelmed by his surroundings. On the other hand the room was cheery and had an excellent view of the yard where Chase and the children played with Dief and the puppy. He wandered over to the window and pulled the wheel chair into place there to see what kind of view Ben would have sitting there.

Chase ran down the hall followed by Dief and the puppy. He skidded to a halt outside the doorway to the room he knew his papa would be staying in when he came home. He tiptoed up to the table beside the bed and placed an envelope with the word "papa" on it on the nightstand. He saw Ray standing by the window and tried to ease out unseen. Ray turned when he heard Dief give one of his "errrf" comments and smiled to see Chase struggle to sneak out.

Ray pretended not to see Chase and turned back to the window where he could see Chase in reflection as he left the room. He walked around the bed and picked up the card. Smiling broadly, he laid the envelope down and left the room.

Ben's father roamed through the garden room after Ray and Chase had left, hands behind his back. He stopped at various spots around the room as if to familiarize himself with everything Ben would be seeing. "Ben, you've got good friends and family here. Yes you do." He remarked as he walked to the window where he clasped his hands behind his back and rocked on his feet as he watched Chase running around the yard with the puppy yapping at his heels.

Chapter 5

Ben sat in the hospital issue wheel chair folding what clothing he had and stuffing it into the duffel bag Ray had brought him. He would be leaving as soon as Ray arrived. He had attended his last session with the physical therapist at the hospital and made arrangements for one to visit him at the Vecchio home in days to come. The counselor that had been assigned his case would see him one last time before leaving. Ben knew he would have to have a clearance from the counselor before he would be allowed to return to work. Ben sighed; right now all he wanted was to be out of this place. He couldn't think much further than the next hour when Ray would arrive to set him free. His bag finally packed, Ben rolled to the window to watch for Ray's car to arrive in the parking lot below.

Brianna McBride hurried down the corridor Ben Fraser's chart in her hand. She'd barely had time to scan it when her department chief had given her the assignment just two hours ago. This would be her first case to follow on an outpatient basis. She had sat in on one of Ben's group therapy sessions, but the only thing she had learned about Ben was how tight reined he could be on his emotions.

Arriving at the door to his room, she took a deep breath and walked in with what she hoped was an air of confidence. Ben's back was to her, his head bent over clasped hands. He heard her entry and turned his chair to face her, a shy smile on his face.

Bree, as her family and friends called her, swept an errant strand of long hair behind her right ear. She wanted to make a good impression, didn't want to seem to new to her profession and most of all, didn't want to overwhelm a man she knew to be a very reticent person.

"Hi, Ben," she began, her deep voice whispering across the room to him. "I have your chart and discharge papers. You and I both need to sign them, before you can be on your way."

Ben took in her long, straight ash blond hair, hazel eyes and delicate featured face. He knew who she was, but hadn't expected her to be the one checking him out of the hospital. He rolled his chair over to within a few feet of her. His mouth went dry at the prospect of talking to her.

Ben couldn't look the girl in the eye. He was too embarrassed. His coloring did a red off the scale jump and his palms got sweaty. He knew there were tears lurking behind his eyelids. But he wanted out of that room and he would do this. After all, he was a Mountie.

She could see all the things bothering him pass over the features on his expressively colored face. It was obvious he was having trouble getting words out. She reached over, picked up his water glass and handed it to him. This case was going to make her feel old, she just knew it.

He felt his heart clambering to get out through his throat. He took the glass and drank from it gratefully. He noticed how careful she was to maintain her space and distance from him. Was he that fragile, he wondered? Ray, get here soon Ray he began chanting in the back of his mind.

"Feel better now," she asked. Trying not sound like the counselor she was.

In response, he gave her one his famous stranger friendly Fraser smiles. His eyes were on wary side in their expression.

"Ok, let's take care of the paperwork, then you can leave when your ride comes for you." She took a seat on the visitor's chair, clipboard on lap. She was very careful to remain in her personal space and not to invade his. Ben turned his chair towards her and put out a hand to take the clipboard.

It was at this point, that Ray rounded the corner of the door wheeling Ben's new chair. "Hey, Benny. Ready to try out your new wheels and blow this joint." Ray inquired loudly. He wheeled the chair Grandmere had insisted on providing for Ben into position for Ben to transfer. "Let me know when you're ready." Ray stepped back to the doorway and leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed.

Bree glanced at Ben's friend and noticed his 'closed' mind stance. She wondered if he would be able to give Ben the help he was going to need. She knew Ben's friends had snuck his son into the room almost every night of his stay. Eyes suddenly blind had been turned for this patient. Now that she was actually monitoring his case, she knew she would have to read his file very carefully. This was to be her first long-term case; she didn't want to blow it. She had a feeling that he had a tenuous hold at best on his emotions, that he was holding himself in check.

She showed Ben where to sign the papers, outlined how his home visits would be set up with the physical therapist and herself as psychologist. Once done with the routine, she turned to Ray.

"He's all yours." She said smiling. Ray smiled back. Neither of them noticed Ben's shoulders tighten as he heard the phrasing, "all yours".

Brianna held the back of Ben's chair while he used his arms to begin levering out of it. Ray leaned towards Ben to put his arms under Ben's armpits and lifted. Ray pulled Ben up to lean against him, while Brianna maneuvered the new chair behind Ben. Ray held Ben carefully, softly with Ben's arms draped over his shoulders. Ben's shoulder's shook, but Ray took that as exhaustion on Ben's part. When Ray was sure the chair was in place, he lowered Ben into the new, more comfortable chair. Both Ben and Ray were shaking by the time Ben was situated in his chair. Brianna smiled. This was one patient she was sure would not be neglected once he reached home. She noticed, however, that though they exchanged looks, neither said a word.

Ray plopped Ben's bag onto his lap and began pushing Ben out the door. They traveled down the hall to the elevator, Nurses and patients wishing Ben well as they went. Once they were at the elevator, Ray turned towards the nurse's station. Brianna and several other members of the hospital staff stood watching Ben leave. He thought he could see tears in their eyes, in fact, he would make book on that as a fact.

Getting Ben and his chair into the Rivi was easier than Ray had expected it to be. The drive home was quiet, with Ben leaning his head back and watching out the window. Ray was concerned because he could see Ben's coloring and realized that he was paler that normal.

Ray pulled up and parked the Riv out in front of his home. He was surprised everyone had listened to him and that there was not a Vecchio circus of people lining the walk to the front door. Dief was the only one waiting at the top of the stops, a long leather lead attached to a harness on his back. Dief bounded down the steps and sat by the door of the Riv. Ray got out and walked around to the trunk and removed the "Chair" as Ben would begin calling it. Ben opened the door expecting Dief to lunge in at him. But Dief sat, stubbornly refusing to show any more exciting at seeing Ben than a wag of his tail and allowing one of his throaty "errf's" to be heard.

Ben turned his eyes down. He didn't say anything. He tossed his head back against the headrest of the car seat. Ray brought the chair up next to the Riv and leaning in beside Ben, he said. "Come one Ben, undo that buckle, it's cool out here."

Complying slowly, Ben undid the buckle and began to turn out of the car, swinging his painfully thin body towards Ray. Ray picked Ben up out of the car; his eyes wore a shocked expression at how easy it was to lift Ben. Ray didn't notice how Ben's body cringed when it was touched. He was far to engrossed in the feel of the lightness of Ben.

They exchanged a look of mutual awareness. Ray could see Ben's embarrassment rising to the surface of his tightly held expression. Ray gave a nervous laugh as he settled Ben down into the new chair.

"Don't worry, Benny." He said. "Ma is planning on stuffing you until you burst." He hesitated. "You'll be back to yourself in no time. She's been cooking for three days now. You get your choice of meals anytime you want. She even made her Christmas specialties, just for you."

Ben closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath then turned his chair to face the house. A temporary wheel chair ramp had been fitted up into the porch. A large 'welcome home' sign was attached to the house next to the door. Ben felt tears dampening his eyes and choking his throat.

Dief stood up and placed himself next to the chair. Ray picked up the loop of leather attached to Dief's harness and handed it to Ben. "One of the social worker types thought this up for you. Dief can pull you up the ramp or around the house when you're too tired to maneuver yourself." Ray put a hand on Ben's shoulder and felt the shaking of Ben's muscles. "It won't be for long, you'll be jumping onto cars and out of windows real soon." Ray snidely remarked trying to break Ben's tension.

Ben smiled up at him gratefully and motioned for Dief to start moving.

Chapter 6

The ride up the long ramp was easy. Opening the door and maneuvering the chair through it was a little more difficult. But Ben managed well enough. Ray closed the door behind him to see Ben looking around the foyer, his head cocked as he listened.

Chase ran in from the hall leading to the kitchen, his young puppy running at his heels. The boy ran right up to Ben's chair and stopped dead in his tracks. His deep blue eyes searched his father's face. Chase extended his right hand as Grandmere had shown him just minutes before. "Welcome home papa." Chase said quietly. Ben took the little boy's hand in his and pulled Chase to him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you Chase," Ben replied as he began tickling the boy. Chase smiled broadly and hugged Ben back.

When Ben looked up he saw Ma Vecchio's aproned person entering the foyer followed by "Grandmere 'in her chair. It was then that Ben noticed all the flowers filling the main hall, on tables and even on the floor.

Ma leaned over her Benton and gave him a quick hug and kiss. Ben pulled back a bit, but Ray figured he was just overwhelmed by his mother's all enveloping attention. Grandmere approached Ben cautiously; she had not seen Ben sense Ray had rescued him so many days before.

"Forgive an old woman her tears," she whispered to him. "Je suis tres jollie."

"Merci, Grandmere, Je compre." Ben replied.

"Well come on" Ray walked in front of Ben carrying the bag and headed towards Ben's bedroom door. "Let's give him some space. Hey, he just got home." Ray yelled as he disappeared into the garden room. "Benny needs to rest."

Ben grabbed Dief's lead as he smiled at his son and the women. "That's all I have been doing, rest, rest and more rest." Ben threw out as Dief pulled him down the hall, Chase walking along side the chair.

Ben remembered the room from previous visits and from the time he had trashed the house trying to stop Victoria's vendetta against his friend Ray. The room had always been light and comfortable, but now he was completely surprised. He knew that was a hospital bed in the room but it was well and truly camouflaged. The rug was thick and cushy, the curtains at the window heavy and light and white in color. The whole room was decorated in winter white, with accessories that matched the blue of his eyes. Even the large overstuffed chair in the corner was white as newly driven snow with small blue flowers patterned into the fabric. Flowers gave the room its only color other than the blue of its accessories. Flowers in blue vases were on the windowsill and on the nightstand. Next to the bed Ray had placed a large bookcase and filled it with Ben's father's journals along with some books of poetry and Shakespeare.

Ben felt warmed by the feel of the room. It was a room that called him and invited him to stay. He knew that for a while at least, this would be home.

Ray was busy pulling the covers on the bed down and stowing Ben's bag on the chair next to the bed. He kept up a running monologue to himself as he moved. "Grandmere and Ma insisted that everything be just right for you. Gosh, they even got the guys from the 27th and Turnbull to empty this room on 24 hours notice." He finished and turned to watch Ben.

Chase was standing next to Ben's chair, his little face pressed against Ben's hand. Dief lay on the floor, his head on his paws. Ben was staring down at his son's curly head and petting the thick curly hair with his free hand.

Ray coughed and turned towards the window. "Ma chose this room so you could watch the kids when they play out in the garden. You get a really nice view of the yard from here." He waited a few minutes and turned back to face his friend. "Well, Chase. Let's get your papa into that bed."

"Ray, I don't want to get in the bed." Ben whined a little with a pout on his mouth. "I just got here."

"Sorry, buddy. But the doc made me promise you would rest every afternoon for a couple of weeks yet. And don't even begin to tell me what I would tell Thatcher and Franny if I didn't make you rest. Gimme a break here Benny."

Chase looked into his father's eyes. "It's ok, papa. I know you need to rest."

"See even the tyke here knows you need to rest."

"Ok, ok... But it's just silly Ray. I'm not tired."

"Oh yea, tell me that when we get you out of that chair." Ray replied.

Ray rolled Ben's chair over to the bed and locked its wheels. Ben sat forward and began to lever himself up. He could move his legs now, but they were not strong enough yet to hold him up or push him to his feet. Ray placed his arms under Ben's armpits and lifted. Ben settled in a standing position, but was forced to lean against Ray's body. His body quivered at Ray's touch, tears filled his eyes. Ray was concentrating on the transfer and didn't pay attention to Ben's body language. He turned Ben and helped him to a sitting position on the bed and then swung Ben's legs up onto the bed. He removed Ben's athletic shoes and covered him to his waist with the comforter. Ray placed the bed's control unit in Ben's hand and smiled. "Pleasant dreams, Benny" He put his hand out for Chase to take and said, "Come on, I think there's chocolate ice cream in the fridge."

Ben watched his best friend walk out of his room with Chase. Then he turned his head to the window and let his eyes droop. He was exhausted. Ray was right he did need to rest.

Chapter 6

Ben's eyes slowly drifted shut, his breathing rhythmically repeated in the confines of the room. His hair was slightly damp from exerting himself to help Ray get him into the bed. The skin of his face was lightly flushed with rose pink. He drifted deeper into much needed healing sleep.

Robert Fraser watched his son as he sat on the windowsill, his back to the outside world. He sighed and tilted his face upwards towards the ceiling. "Caroline, put in a good word for our son will you dear. He needs every bit of strength and help he can get. He's becalmed in a sea of turbulence and I am afraid for him." Robert wiped a tear away as he quickly turned to face the window and saw Chase and his puppy cavorting in the garden.

The sound of wheel chair wheels reached Robert and he turned quickly to see an old woman entering the room in a wheelchair. Her gaze was on Ben from the moment she entered the room. She rolled right up to the bed and peered anxiously at her new relative. Her frail hand shook as she lifted the comforter and adjusted it back over Ben's chest in a clearly motherly gesture.

Robert Fraser stood as one pole axed to the spot in which he stood. His breath thumped out of him in swift huffttt. The poor man's head shook back and forth as he watched the woman taking care of his son.

Grandmere heard a noise as she adjusted Ben's comforter. She looked quickly around the room seeing nothing at first. Then as she looked at the garden window for the second time, she started to see the shape of a man forming there. She sat back in her chair not in the least disturbed.

"Well what are you doing here." she demanded of Robert.

"Come to see my son. What are you doing here, you old fidget" Robert replied. "I thought you were," and he pointed above his head.

Grandmere smiled. "No, I'm not ready yet. Soon. But not yet. I have a family to put together." She turned her gaze on Ben. Robert turned his eyes to Ben also, noting his son was sleeping that deep unconscious sleep that was his habit.

"I'll thank you to leave my son alone." Robert stated curtly. "He's none of your business, you know." His eyes blazed their fiercest blue.

"Ben is very much my concern." She replied. "He's a Benton/Pinset. About the last of the stock there is. He and little Chase are all I have left and I won't be brooked about taking care of them." Her lips compressed into an expression that neither Ben nor Chase would recognize. "And, may I ask where you have been during all this time when your son needed you?"

Robert cleared his throat in a painful way. "I've been here, was there. Never left Ben's side. But he couldn't see me. I don't know if I didn't want him to see me or if he was blocking me. But I was there old woman, I know. You don't have to tell me how much my son needs. Have a care woman. I'll not leave him like you would have had me leave Caroline. Caroline and I were too tough for you to control and so is Ben." He threw his shoulders back in a proud way. "And Ben won't let you control Chase. He'll see to that."

Grandmere seemed to shrink back a little, but stood her ground. "You ninny, I wanted Caroline with you. Neither of you knew that did you. My husband wanted other things for Caroline. But Caroline was my blood kin, and though she and her family needed me I couldn't go to them. But I could make sure that when the time came Caroline was in the care of someone she loved."

The stare she received from Robert would have melted an iceberg. "You didn't support Caroline against her father. You agreed with him. You old bat, you even told him to send Caroline east to family or back to England. How was that helping us? Tell me that."

Grandmere smiled. "Think Robert. What makes you do some of things you do as a Fraser. Fraser's won't be brooked either. I knew that. We're proud, we Scots, and once someone tells us nay, we put our shoulders to it and make sure we get what we want. Didn't Caroline ever tell you about our last conversation." She was silent for a minute. "Perhaps not. Well it was a good dustup, her father, my husband and I. Caroline gave as good as she could, counted herself well she did. I knew when she took off spurting into French that I had won. But Caroline was smart. She backed off, waited her chance and left. She defied everyone. Tres magnifique!"

A sputter of disbelief was her answer from Robert Fraser who had moved closer to her. "I can see you believe that you term granite old spike, but Caroline never said a word."

"Course she didn't, I never told her how proud I was of her choice to stand on her own two feet. There was too much distance between us by then both over land and emotionally. But I knew when he was born and I knew when Caroline died."

"Then why didn't you contact us after Caroline..." his eyes were sad, huge pools of teary blue.

"I didn't contact either of you because I knew Ben needed to grow up strong, and I knew that wouldn't happen surrounded by Caroline's family."

"Do you know what you condemned him to...DO YOU!" his voiced hissed louder. "You condemned him to my absences and my parents care. They loved him, still do. But they didn't know how to tell him that. They figured a good book in his hands; clean clothing and a place to live would let him know they loved him. Well, I know he loved them, but they sure didn't teach him how to show love." His eyes became glaring blue points in his stern face.

She let the tears flow freely. "I'm sorry Robert. I thought I was doing what was best. But I am here now and I will protect Ben and Chase the best way I know how for as long as I can." She sat upright. "I am a Benton/Pinset too!"

Ben sighed in his sleep and rolled towards the window, flicking his hand past his ear as if he had heard a bee buzzing there. His family watched, breaths held quietly.

"Well, just see you do. Just see you do." Robert whispered before fading in front of Grandmere. "I'm a Mountie and I'll track you to the end of the universe if something happens to my boys."

She smiled and turned her chair to leave the room quietly after she could no longer see Robert. This whishing sound of her wheels trailed behind her.

Chapter 7

Days started earlier now for Ben and Ray. Ray began rising every morning an hour earlier than his normal schedule. Ray would rush through his own routine of getting ready for the day and then would rush downstairs to wake Ben. Every day the routine was the same. Ray would rush until he stood outside Ben's door, then take a deep breath before entering and saunter in as if he had all the time in the world.

Most mornings Ben was already awake and waiting. His coloring was improving to his normal pale healthiness and he was beginning to gain weight. When Ben knew Ray was entering his room, he would raise the back of his hospital bed until he was in a sitting position. At first Ray had to help him swing his legs over the edge of the bed. But as the days began passing, Ben was able to start sliding his own body around on the bed and position himself to be helped off the bed.

Ray lowered the bed to an easier height and helped Ben slide off; he still had to hold Ben against himself to let Ben get steady on his feet. Ben would then turn himself until he could be lowered into the chair. Changes were coming everyday in Ben's condition. But those small changes came at great cost to Ben. He was working as hard as he could at the therapies he had been given to do in the home.

Ben turned his chair and wheeled it out the door and into the hall. Ray followed him until they were at the door to the bathroom. Inside a warm tub of water waited for Ben courtesy of Ma Vecchio who would be in the kitchen early every morning preparing breakfast. Ben and Ray had worked out a routine to make this particular chore less embarrassing for themselves. They turned the necessary movements of getting Ben into the tub into a game. Each day Ben tried to do more and more of the work for himself. He could now lock the wheel chair wheels, and undress while sitting in the chair and just about lift himself out of the chair. Ray helped him out of the chair every morning. Then he would help Ben lift first one leg then the other over the edge of the tub. The hard part was lowering Ben into the tub without creating a lot of splashing. Once Ben was in the tub, Ray would leave for 15 minutes to go get Ben's clothing for the day and give Ben some time alone.

The morning soak in the warm water helped Ben's muscles relax, helped him stretch out his leg muscles. Ben would massage the muscles he could reach easily, then clean himself up for the day and wait for Ray to return. Ray would enter the room with Ben's clothing over his arm, set it on the back of the toilet, then grab the hugest towel on the towel rack and hold it over his shoulder. Ben would then pull the plug and wait for the water to exit the tub. Throwing the towel down over Ben softly, Ray would lean over and between the two of them lever Ben up into a standing position. Then Ray would hold Ben tightly letting him try to lift his legs out over the tub's edge. The first time they tried had not been successful, but now most morning's with the warmth of the bath still clinging to Ben's muscles, he could and did maneuver his own legs over that tub edge. Ray would enfold Ben into the huge bath sheet of a towel and let Ben down gently into the wheel chair. Ray would then busy himself with the routine of getting Ben's shaving gear ready each morning while Ben tried to dress himself. It was easier every time he tried, especially since all his items of clothing were now pull on's. RCMP sweats were the order of the day every day for Ben. But as yet he could not get his own socks on his feet. Ray waited every day for Ben to ask him for help with different tasks. There was always an underlying tension in their morning routine. And neither man looked directly into the other's eyes until they were done and wheeling out the door of the bath.

Ma made sure breakfast was ready for her boys when they were done getting ready for the day. Today's breakfast was oatmeal with fresh strawberries and bananas, with hot chocolate or coffee and juice along with English muffins and a choice of a wide variety of jams.

She took pride in making sure that each and every person in her home was well fed. Now with Ben's special health needs, she found herself making 5 small meals a day for him. She did it with great joy and amusement. Selecting that many meals a day and maintaining variety was a challenge she welcomed. She had been able to do little for Ben while he was in the hospital and now it was her turn to help him. She took her tasks on like a commanding officer in one of the armed services, but she did so with pride and a smile.

Ben rolled his chair easily into position at the table, his bath damp hair all curly and clinging to his head. The exertion of dressing and the warm bath always gave his skin a healthy glow. Initially on his arrival home, the circles under his eyes and his frailness of frame had shocked everyone. But each day there was improvement, though it was sometimes hard to see.

Some mornings of late Chase would arrive at the table just as his father began to eat. Ray would let the animals of the house out in the garden and then return to join his family at the table. This morning was to be no exception. Chase came dashing into the room followed by two canines on 8 feet. The scrabbling sounds the three of them made were impossible to miss. Ray sighed and made his way to the kitchen door. "Ok, Ok...twenty minutes and no barking" he gave a smile to Chase as he closed the door behind the four footed lupine and the puppy.

Chase scrambled up into a chair next to Ben, and smiled up at father with sleepy eyes. He picked up Ben's banana and began to peel it for him. "You're spoiling him Chase." Ray teased.

Ben looked nonplussed but Chase chirped up, "Never had papa to spoil before. Like to spoil him."

Ma lifted her napkin to her face as if to wipe her mouth of crumbs, but wiped her tear filled eyes instead. She smiled when she heard Ben chuckle in response to Chase.

"Well Benny, today's the big day, huh," Ray said scooping oatmeal onto his spoon.

Ben turned his clear, deep blue eyes to Ray. "Yes, the therapists start working with me here today. The Doctor said he thought I was making good progress here, but I need the therapists to come here to begin with and then later I am to make trips into the outpatient therapy facilities at the hospital."

"Good," Ray replied as he put his spoon down. "We still have to work on those muscles of yours before I leave for work."

Ben finished his breakfast and rolled back from the table. "Let's get going, Ray. We haven't much time left this morning before you leave."

The two men made their way back to Ben's room. Chase ran to the back door and let the animal contingent back into the house and climbed up to the table to eat the bowl of oatmeal put out for him.

Once Ben was back on the bed, his shoes off, Ray began the exercises he had been shown on Ben's legs. He grabbed Ben's left foot gently, left hand on the heel, right on his toes and began to move the foot in slow circles making Ben's calf muscles stretch. After a few minutes of the circles he began to push up on Ben's heel and pull the ball of Ben's foot towards him at the same time lifting Ben's leg off the bed. He could tell when Ben would start to feel cramps in his muscles because Ben's fingers would reach for the sheets. Ray was careful to stop the second he noticed that motion. When he completed the lower legwork, Ray would move to stand by Ben's knees and would help Ben lift each leg and hold it in the air as he counted to ten. Each leg would then be pulled up and held in a flexed position each day getting closer and closer to Ben's torso.

Ben's arms gave him the most trouble. Ray would massage Ben's shoulders each morning. Then Ben would begin flexing his arms and trying to lift them. His upper arm muscles rebelled, but each day Ben was accomplishing more. He wouldn't be allowed the use of crutches until his shoulders were in better shape. Ben wanted out of that chair, so he worked as hard as he could even practicing the arm lifts and exercises when no one was with him. Sometime Chase would climb up on the bed and help with his little toddler arms.

The clock beside Ben's bed ticked away the hour as Franny stuck her well-groomed head around the door frame. "Come on Ray, we're gonna be late. Morning Ben." she chirped in a bright voice.

Chase ran around Franny and clambered onto the bed as Ray completed counting off the last exercise for Ben. He threw himself on Ben's chest, hugging his father.

Ray laughed, smiled at Ben and yelled at Franny, "Hold on, will ya."

"Remember, grab some rest when you can. See you two later." Ray straightened his tie and followed Franny out of the house arguing with her all the way out the door.

Ben and Chase exchanged happy looks, listened to the sounds of the Vecchio siblings leaving and laughed.

Chapter 8

Ben sat in his wheelchair looking out his window with Dief at his side. His hand absently rubbed on Dief's fur. Chase and his puppy were running around playing with Maria and Tony's children. Everyone once in awhile all the children would stop running and turn to face his window. They would jump up and down and wave at Ben then take off again. They loved doing goofy things to make Ben laugh. He watched them in silence waiting for the physical therapist to arrive.

He heard the doorbell ring and Ma answer the door. Involuntarily all his muscles seemed to tighten and release of their own accord. He turned his chair towards the door to his room and waited.

A very young, but big man entered Ben's room carrying a large suitcase. He smiled at Ben and introduced himself as Neil. Ben tried to respond casually although he could feel his stomach muscles knotting.

Neil set his case down and lifted out a brand new set of dumbbells. They were the plastic coated kind in 1, 2, 3 and 5-pound sizes. He set them on the floor by the door to Ben's closet and set each set in it's own designated holder.

Ben watched quietly. He was both fascinated by the dumbbells and repelled by the therapist. He knew his palms were becoming sweaty. He could feel rivulets of sweat begin to course down his back. The muscles on Ben's arms quivered as he grasped the arms of his chair. I can do this, he thought; after all I am a Mountie. But oh god please let someone else come in the room.

Neil smiled at Ben as he stood. "These are your workout weights. They are on the floor for a reason. We want you to learn how to lift objects up into your chair. Every bit of bending and reaching you do is going to make those arms of yours stronger." He began to advance towards Ben.

Ben's entire body flinched and he rolled his chair back. He was embarrassed and said so to Neil. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He stated in a whisper.

Neil kept right on smiling, "That's ok," he looked down quickly, "I've been familiarized with your medical history. I've worked with other patients who've been through similar traumas. Just tell me when you feel uneasy, I'll back off."

Ben quickly turned his chair away from Neil to prevent the young man from seeing the tears in his eyes. He sat with his head bowed a minute then turned back. "Let's get started. What do I do first."

Neil picked up one of the lightest bells and held it out for Ben to take. "I want you to grasp this, put your hand down beside the chair and slowly lift up and out to the side. Do five reps at a time, each time going higher. When your muscles talk back to you stop. Overworking them is just as bad as doing nothing. Understand."

Ben smiled and began. They worked for about a half hour. Neil stopped the session when he could see Ben tiring. Neil told Ben he would come three times a week to begin the sessions and slowly taper down to one before they would complete Ben's rehabilitation. It was only when Neil was gone from the room, that Ben realized the young man had never once touched him during the entire session.

Ma stopped the young man on the way down the hall and invited him to the kitchen for a refreshing drink. Neil was glad of the offer and accepted freely. He left after enjoying a glass of juice and one of Ma's homemade cookies.

Ma waited until Neil had been gone for several minutes before carrying a tray into Ben's room. He didn't hear her come in and was startled when he turned around to see her laying the tray on the table beside his window. She poured a glass of juice for Ben and held it out to him. "Neil seemed like a nice boy." Her eyes watched Ben as he accepted the glass and drank some of the juice.

"He seemed to know his job." Ben replied to her softly, his eyes not meeting her gaze.

Ma Vecchio knew she was being led down a garden path. All her experience as a mother was shouting at her. Her heart ached for Ben. But she didn't want to smother him. She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on his hair, and whispered, "It's ok caro."

Ben gasped and quickly rolled his chair back spilling his juice down his legs and onto the rug. The kiss is his hair had been too much of a reminder of Michelle. "I'm sorry," he cried through frustrated tears. "I'm sorry." His beautiful blue eyes, stared at her with tears running down his face.

She knelt beside the chair, and wrapped her arms around him. "It's only juice, caro, it will clean up." Ben leaned into her arms, feeling held with love and care. His mind knew she was nothing like Michelle, but his body had reacted on it's own. Please make it all stop. He wished to disappear. Please make it all stop.

Ma gently wiped the tears from Ben's face with one of the napkins from the serving tray. She rose and went to his closet returning with fresh jogging slacks. Without saying a word she left the room and shut the door behind her giving him some privacy to change out of the wet pants

Chapter 9

By the time lunchtime rolled around, Ben was exhausted. He was glad to see Chase and his puppy race into his room to announce that lunch was ready. A little table and chair that were both Chase's size had been brought in and set against the wall near Ben's big comfy chair. Chase cleared the coloring books and crayons he had left there away and turned to look at his father, a big smile on his face.

"Grandma Vecchio says we are to eat in here by ourselves today." Chase announced with a bright smile. "Just you and me. Grandmere is lying down and doesn't want to eat luncheon today. And Taunte Maria is taking her kids on a visit to a friends house."

Ma Vecchio entered Ben's room pushing an elaborately set teacart. She had filled it with plates of salad and sandwiches, a carafe of milk and a plate filled with cookies and desert size popovers. Dief trotted into the room behind her, his tongue licking his wolfen face.

She lifted a special plate she had made up for Dief off the bottom shelf of the cart and set it on the floor near Ben. "Chase wanted to eat in here with you today. With everyone else gone, I think it's a nice idea. I'm going to the market, but I won't be gone long. Chase can wake his grandmother if you two need anything." She walked to the door. She closed the door behind her quietly.

Chase stood next to Ben, a very serious look on his face. "Which of the sandwiches would you like, papa." The toddler took a plate in hand and looked up at his father's face.

Ben indicated that he would like some salad first and watched as Chase filled the plate. Chase handed the plate to Ben and grabbed a napkin and utensils to hand to Ben. Then the boy put a sandwich on his own plate and put it on his table. He then poured milk for each of them into glasses, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as he concentrated on not spilling. He set his own glass on his table and set Ben's on the teacart where his father could reach it.

The two Fraser men settled down to the serious business of eating. They smiled at each other as they ate. Ben could see Chase was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich by the sticky fingers Chase was getting holding his sandwich. Ben smiled remembering how much fun it was to get sticky like that. They ate in silence, happy in each other's presence.

Sometime later as the early afternoon sun streamed through the window and rested on the two dark heads of chestnut curls Dief looked at his family. Both sets of blue eyes looked sleepy and droopy. Dief gave a woof and stood by Ben nudging his hand.

"Ok, Ok," Ben replied. "Chase I am going to lay down and take a nap, would you like to join me."

Chase wiped the jelly from his mouth and nodded. His little head flushed tired looking.

Ben rolled his chair over to his bed and began to pull the covers back, his arms felt leaden and tired. His head throbbed with each movement he made. He called Chase over and had him had Ben the bed's controls. Ben lowered the bed to its lowest level, set the wheels on his chair into the locked position and leaned over to lift Chase up onto the bed. Chase was not a very big child, but he was built on sturdy Fraser lines. To be blunt, he was a solid little form. Ben smiled down at his son as Chase lifted his arms to be lifted. Ben put his own arms around the boy and tried to lift. Chase was too heavy. Ben struggled to lift the boy up onto his lap. He couldn't do it. Chase's sleepy little head wobbled and rested against Ben's shoulder. "sOK, papa. I can climb up myself." The toddler mumbled and did just that. He scrambled up onto the bed and moved to the far side waiting for Ben to join him. Chase fell asleep waiting for Ben.

Ben held back sobs of frustration and leaned down until his curly head rested against the bed covers. He covered his face with one hand. Silent tears coursed down his face. He fell asleep in a twisted position in his chair as he watched his son sleep.

Chapter 10

Ray bounced in the front door and dropped his keys into his pocket. He stopped in his tracks when he heard the silence in the house reverberating on his ears like a bomb blast. He glanced down at his watch noting it was 1 p.m. Where was Ma, where was anyone. Fear ceased his heart and he moved quickly down the hall to Ben's room.

When Ray saw the door shut, he took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open, his hand on his gun in its holster. Once the door was open, he sighed. Aw, geeesh He moved quickly and silently over to where Ben slept in a twisted tangle against the bed. Ray put his hand on Ben's flushed forehead and gave a relieved sigh. Good he's just worn out. He gently lifted Ben's head and pulled Ben around to straighten Ben's body. Ray knew from experience that once Ben was asleep, almost nothing would wake him until his body was ready to wake up. He slung his right arm around Ben and gently pulled the sleeping man up into his arms to hold him against his chest. As gently as Ray would hold a newborn babe, he twisted Ben into position to lay him back onto the bed. Ben sighed and rolled to put his arm around Chase and settled back into sleep as Ray lifted Ben's feet one by one and removed his shoes. Neither Fraser moved.

Ray stepped out of the room and pulled out his cell phone and called Welsh. Then he re-entered the room and walked over to the big overstuffed chair and settled down to wait for his mother.

Ma pushed the kitchen door open and placed her bag of groceries on the table. She took off her coat and hung it on the hook by the door along with her purse. As she emptied the bag, she listened to the empty house. She put the last piece of fruit for Ben away in the refrigerator and headed for Ben's room.

She was unprepared for the sight of Ray sitting in Ben's room. She gave a smiling glance at the two Fraser's asleep in the bed and motioned Ray out of the room.

Ray's green eyes were blazing, as his mother had never seen them before. His whole body attitude was stiff towards her. As soon as they were out of earshot of Ben's room, Ray turned on his mother, "How could, how could you leave them alone." He almost shouted in her ear.

She gave him frightened look. "Ray, they were eating lunch when I left, less than 20 minutes ago. I've only been gone 25 minutes. I didn't think there was any harm. Is Benton all right?"

"Yea, ma, he's all right. He just fell asleep leaning on the bed. That's all Ma." He looked down at his feet. "I know you love them Ma. And I know you want what's best for Benny. It just wasn't a good idea to leave them alone Ma. Ben's too weak yet." He put his arm around her and hugged her. "Benny don't like it, but he has to be watched over like a baby right now. Ok Ma."

She wiped a tear from his eyes with her fingers and nodded. "I think you're wrong caro. But I will do what you ask."

"How about some lunch Ma. Then I have to get back to work." Ray followed her to the kitchen, dragged out a chair and plopped down. Ray folded his hands on the table and dropped his head down on them. He watched his mother make his favorite sandwich and pour him a glass of milk. He ate his sandwich in silence. His mother worked at the counter preparing a plate of sliced fruit for Ben's next meal with her own secret dipping sauce in cup in the middle of the plate.

"You're spoiling him ya know" Ray laughed. "But knowing how Benny grew up, I think he deserves it. See ya later. I'll be home in time to help Ben do some more physiotherapy before dinner. Welsh knows I got special responsibilities right now so I won't have a problem being on time."

Ray left the kitchen quickly pausing in the hall to listen for sounds coming from Ben's room. All he heard was total silence. He went out the front door quietly without looking back.

Chapter 11

Ben woke groggily to find Chase still sleeping next to him. Chase slept holding tightly to one of his father's hands, a smile on his little face. Using his free hand, Ben gently brushed the child's curls away from his forehead. The little boy began to wake up and stretch but never let go of the hand he held. A giggle escaped Chase's throat and he flung his arms around Ben. "Love you papa, always" Chase whispered into Ben's ear. Ben replied in an equally soft but husky whisper, "As I love you, Chase."

Chase bounded up and off the bed calling to his puppy that someone had let into the room while the two slept. He ran to the door and with a wave back to Ben ran down the hall to see if Ma Vecchio was in the kitchen.

Ben rolled onto his side on the bed and spotted his chair a little away from the bed. He knew he had fallen asleep in the chair and had no memory of getting into bed. And he was well aware of the fact the Ma couldn't lift him. So how did he get into the bed? Ben raised the head of his bed with the control pad and put his hand on the overhead triangle that allowed him to pull himself around in the bed. He steadied himself, put the other hand on it and pulled himself up a little trying not to notice the sharp pain in his shoulders as he pulled on the triangle. He began to breathe in short rapid gasps as he maneuvered his body to swing his legs off the bed. It took a while but he was finally sitting on the edge of the bed. The bed was low enough that his feet touched the floor, but did not lay flat on it. He put out a hand to steady himself on the table next to the bed and tried lifting himself up to a semi-standing position. Sweat began to bead on his brow and his muscles began to shake. Ben tried to reach out for his chair, but it was just a fraction too far away.

Dief had been watching Ben, his ears up and alert. The wolf quietly rose and placed his body in front of Ben just as Chase and Ma Vecchio were entering the room. Ma grabbed Chase by the shoulder and held him there. She bit her lip as she watched Ben swaying on his feet holding desperately to the table.

When Ben looked up, he smiled. "Guess I can't make it by myself after all." He gave a little derisive laugh. "Would you help me?"

Dief stayed in place by Ben until Ma stood beside him. She unlocked the wheelchair's wheels and maneuvered it a little closer to Ben. Then she relocked the wheels and put one hand on his shaking shoulder. "The chair is next to you, let's see if we can get you into it."

Ben smiled gratefully at her and tried to straighten up a bit and position his back to the chair. "I'm not sure I can do this." Ben said in a frail gasp. Ma moved closer to Ben, her little body dwarfed by his larger one. She drew her arm around his waist and gently pulled him away from the table. "Come on Caro, you can do it." Chase came up to stand next to Dief. He looked at his father with profound look of innocent belief. Ben drew his shoulders painfully back a little and said, "Ok, down we go."

His body hit the seat of the wheelchair forcefully making his teeth jar in his head. But he was there, seated in his chair. He was totally exhausted and wished he was back on the bed, but he was there in the chair. He and Ma laughed nervously, their laughter entwined without merriment.

She knelt down beside the chair. "Caro, you can't do this. You must take your time, get well slowly. Do you know how many people I would be in trouble with if you hurt yourself? Ave Maria! The words I would hear." She smiled weakly at him and laid her hand on the arm of his chair.

He put his hand on hers. "I promise, I won't be so foolhardy again."

"All right Caro. But keep your promise, I am in enough trouble with Raymundo."

Taking Chase and the canines with her, she left Ben alone. He turned his chair to face the window and became lost in thought.

Chapter 12

Ray and Franny arrived home about the same time. The siblings eyed each other warily as they entered the foyer of the Vecchio home. Franny gave Ray a final glare and was the first one to speak.

"You've been glowering all afternoon. What's with you Ray? Isn't there enough stress around this house without you adding to it." She seemed to snarl at Ray, but her eyes glinted with laughter.

"Ya, what do you know about it." Ray looked down at his little sister with maddening delight. "You know nothing."

"Pla ese.." she responded with a derisive smile. "Everyone in this house is at point max right now. What makes you more responsible than any of the rest of us?" She snapped her ever-present gum, "Have you counted the number of families living here right now. Or didn't you notice that there three families trying not to do the splices."

"Ya mean splits, don't you."

"Splices, splits, whatever," she smiled through her lashes at him. She loved to get the guys goats by using totally incorrect words. Franny was totally aware of everything she said and did. Most people thought her a ditz, but Franny merely cultivated that image. She turned her back on Ray and began heading up the stairs at the left of foyer. "I'm gonna go soak in a nice tub before I take on all the little munchkins in this house."

While Ray had spent all his time focused on Benny, Franny was focusing all her free time on little Chase. She found herself drawn to his bright laughter and engaging way of doing things. Laughter was Franny's panacea for all things in life that could cause harm. Her small frame enclosed an enormous heart and capacity for joy for life. Like Chase she was constantly moving, letting the energy of the moment carry her onward.

Ray watched Franny make her way up the three flights of open stairway. She exasperated him with her entire being. But Ray had to admit; he was seeing a totally different side to Franny with Chase, the puppy and Fraser in the house. He had expected her to hover over Ben constantly, driving the poor man nuts. But it seemed that Franny was aware that what Ben needed most right now was peace. Ray shrugged his elegantly clad shoulders and moved on down the hall to Ben's room.

Ray found Ben's door closed, which was unusual. He knew Benny liked to leave it open so Chase, the puppy and Dief could enter and leave his room at will. Ray knocked and turned the knob opening the door.

Ben's room was dark, the late afternoon sun shinning through the window. Ben sat in his wheelchair, elbows on his knees his chin resting on his pyramided hands. As Ray entered the room, Ben dropped his forehead into his hands.

Ray flipped the light switch on at the doorway letting the light on the table next to the bed shine through the room.

Ben snapped, "Turn it out." Without raising his head from his hands, Ben turned his face downward closing his expression away from Ray.

"Sure Benny. Ya want the light out, I'll leave it off." Ray said as he turned the switch off. Ray began advancing on his friend, as he didn't move from the window's shadows.

"Go away Ray." Ben whispered tersely.

Ray stopped dead in his tracks, his hands held stiffly down at his sides. "What's this" he inquired, "Benny?"

"I said Go Away Ray." Benny hissed through clenched teeth. He kept his head turned away from Ray.

Ray disregarded his friend's command and approached the window area of the room. He stopped and turned his back to the window so that he faced Benny as he sat in the shadows. Ray knelt down and put his right hand on Ben's hair.

Ben roughly pushed his head back flinging Ray's hand away at the same time. Tears coursed down his face and he held his mouth tightly shut.

"Aw Benny," Ray tried again to touch Benny only to have Ben begin propelling his chair backwards. "Ben?"

"Leave me alone Ray, I mean it." Ben ground out through his clenched teeth. "Just get out of this room, OK."

Ben rolled his chair over to his bed, locked the wheels on the chair and began to push himself to his chair's edge. He leaned over and reached for the triangle bar. Ray jumped to his feet and grabbed the triangle to push it into Ben's hand. Ben gave him a killer look and grabbed onto the triangle and began to pull. Ray rushed around the bed and put his arms around Ben's torso to help him to the bed.

Ben dropped himself back into his chair and turned his head to Ray, the tears of his frustration still clearly running down his face.

"I don't need your help, Ray. I can do this by myself. Get out!" Ben demanded.

Ray was stunned; he stood speechless next to Ben's chair. But he started to notice that Ben's shoulders shook and Ben's hands were shaking. Ray put out a hand to touch Ben only to have Ben repulse the gesture once again with vicious thrust of his hand.

"Don't touch me, get away." Ben pleaded harshly, desperate to be alone, to be safe.

Ray knelt slowly bringing his face to the same level as Ben's. His large, beautifully luminescent viridian eyes were moist as he stared at Ben. He cautiously put a hand on the arm of the wheelchair. "Benny, let me help." He pleaded through tightly bunched vocal chords. "You don't have to do this alone, ya know."

Ben turned his head towards Ray, his normally clear, deep cerulean colored eyes, icy blue-gray. "I said, Get Out! What part of that don't you understand?" Ben threw at Ray viciously.

Ray could actually hear the grinding of Ben's teeth as the words flowed from the tersely held lips. "Benny." Ray began in a whisper. But the name was hardly out of his mouth when Ben thrust both his hands repeatedly at Ray knocking him off balance and onto the floor.

Tear filled eyes met tear filled eyes, both men not willing to back down from the other. Ray stayed seated on the cushioned rug, his right arm fiercely holding his torso in an upright position.

"Ok, Ben. I'll leave" Ray finally conceded. "Just show me that you can get into that bed alone. Then I'll leave." Ray scrambled to his feet to stand near Ben's bookcase that stood near the head of the bed. Crossing his arms and leaning into the wall he waited for Ben to make a move.

"I said leave Ray." Ben glared at Ray for a long moment, his mouth set in a tight line.

"Nope, you show me Benny. You show me what you can do, then I'll leave."

Ben gritted his teeth, and tried to still his shaking body. Giving another fierce glare at Ray, he maneuvered his chair closer to the bed and locked its wheels. With careful precision, Ben leaned over the edge of his chair and carefully lifted his legs out the chairs footrests. Then using his hands to lever himself up began to rise out of his chair. His jaw tightened and visibly knotted as he poured all of his energy into the simple task of rising and leaning towards his bed. For a moment it looked like he would be able to reach out and grab the bed's side rail hidden by the luxurious comforter, but as Ben began to lean towards the bed his right leg muscle spasmed and he fell going down hard on to the carpet.

Ray held his breath and clenched his own jaw shut. His fingers dug into his arms in an effort to prevent him from running to Ben's side.

Ben lay face down in a huddle next to his wheelchair and the edge of his bed. He raised his right fist and pounded it once into the carpet.

Chapter 13

Ben gave Ray the fiercest look that Ray had ever seen on the Mountie's face. Ben's mouth was twisted, his eye glinting. Every facial muscle the Mountie had was bunched and knotted. Ray thought this must be what he looks like when he is about to take a prisoner into custody. Never taking his eyes from his stare at Ray, he fumbled with his right hand until he found the frame of the bed. His fingers grabbed onto the frame and he used the weight of the bed to pull his body over to a sitting position. With one last glare at Ray, Ben put both of his hands on the bed frame directly near the edge of the mattress and pulled. As his body started to rise from the floor, Ben grabbed onto the hidden bed railing under the bed's comforter. He stopped moving for a long minute, drawing in air heavily. Then with his left arm, Ben reached for the triangle that hung over his bed. His fingers stopped just short of it. Again Ben gritted his teeth making an audible sound as he did it and using his left leg he pushed against the floor in an effort to reach the triangle. The distance between his fingers and the triangle closed. After taking a couple of deep breaths, Ben began to inch his way up, his chest and stomach flattened into the mattress as his slid up.

The whole process was agonizingly slow and several times Ray almost broke his resolve not to help. Fifteen minutes after Ben started his climb of the bed as if it were a mountain, he lay exhausted on his bed. Sweat poured from every pour down his face. His whole body shook.

Ray gave Ben a half smile, "Ok, You win, I'll leave. But we're not done talking about this Ben. The subject isn't closed. You hear me."

Ben's gazed fixedly at the ceiling. "I said GET OUT."

Ray walked to the bed, put a hand on Ben's shoulder, "I'll leave, but it ain't over buddy, not by a long shot."

When Ben heard the sound of his door opening and closing, he broke down into sobs, tears coursing down his checks.

Chapter 14

The second the door closed on Ben's room, Ray leaned against the door and melted down into a human pile on the floor. He sat with knees pulled up to his chest, tears falling silently. The sounds of Ben crying could be heard through the door behind Ray's head.

Down the hall in the shadows of an open door, Grandmere sat in her wheel chair and listened. The grand dame's face was held in stiff reserved fashion. But her eyes, oh her eyes. They were rimmed with tears as she gazed down the hall at the woman in the doorway to the kitchen. Ma Vecchio wrapped her hands in the kitchen towel, her fingers repeatedly drying a dinner plate. She nodded to Grandmere and turned back to her kitchen chores with her shoulders drooping a fraction from their normal proud set.

Francesca wandered slowly down the front hall stairway. She was dressed in a cuddly long sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. Her feet were bare, her hair curled loosely around her head. Franny's face glowed from her recent warm soak in the tub. She crossed the foyer and headed down the hall towards the kitchen.

The hallway was ill lit for late afternoon, and Franny almost tripped over the form of Ray huddled against Ben's door. Franny knelt down to see her brother's face and laid the fingers of her right hand along his cheek.

Ray whispered, "He's at break point, just like the doc said. He won't let me help, he's not ready yet Franny. He's not ready yet."

Franny's eyes suddenly looked very old as she smiled down at her brother. "We all knew it was coming, Ray. He's been taking all of this too well. Count up the days he's been dependent Ray. How would you be doing about now if that was you in there?"

Ray choked a little, cleared his throat and said, "I wouldn't of made it home, I'd be in the loony toons room yet at the hospital."

"You don't know that for sure Ray, but how can any of us determine how he should be? You go into the kitchen, ok Ray. Have Ma make you and Benny some soup. Ma's soup always helps."

Franny stood back to watch Ray pull himself up, square his shoulders and walk down the hall. Then Franny straightened her own shoulders, fluffed her hair with her hands, bit her lips to make them rosy and opened Ben's door.

Chapter 15

Francesca waltzed into Ben's room a smile on her face. "Malingering hmmmm." She threw out at Ben as he lay curled under his comforter his face the blotchy red, that people with very fair skin complexions get after a storm of tears.

Ben didn't look at her, his eyes on the view out his window.

Franny drew a deep breath, and sat on the edge of his bed. "Benton, You've got more reason than anyone I know to stay wrapped in a warm cocoon and not come out. But I ain't gonna let you do that. No Sir. Ma and Grandmere ain't gonna allow you to do that , and neither are Ray or I. Now you can throw all of us to the cold arctic winds if you want. But I am not going to let you do that to that precious little boy of yours. You got me Ben."

Ben paid no attention to Franny's words until he heard her refer to Chase.

"Leave Chase out of this. He's my son. I'll take care of him." Ben's deep-throated whisper rasped out.

"Oh yea. You think Chase isn't gonna know his Uncle Ray and his Dad aren't talking. Got news for you pal. That's one more bright kid in a house full of bright kids and you're the topic of the kid's daily news every evening before they go to bed. So you see I got a stake in this too. Some of those kids that love you are Vecchio kids. I think you can see where I am coming from here, right Fras...."

Franny bit the inside of her cheek to keep from reaching out and running her hand along his face and wiping away his tears. Her heart was racing.

Ben snuck a look at Franny. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Franny looked away from him to the view outside the window. She heard the sound of children's laughter, her eyes lit up at the sound. Ben saw her and listened. He heard the sounds outside the window and for a moment his eyes shone proudly. But when Franny turned back to Ben, he was as closed down as before.

Exasperated, Franny grabbed one of the pillows on Ben's bed and hit him right across the face with it. Startled Ben just looked at her with the most dumbfounded expression on his face Franny had ever seen. She hit him again and again with the pillow.

"Fight back" she growled. "Damn you, fight back."

She stopped her onslaught momentarily to see if he was all right. But Ben just continued to stare at her. "I SAID Fight Back." Franny really who lobed him one with the pillow and drew it back to hit him again. Ben's right hand shot up to hold her arm in a vice like hold. "I get your point Franny." He managed to say.

"Well, I don't think you do." Franny said grabbing Ben's other pillow with her hand and jerking it out from behind him, She hit him with that pillow, hard across the top of the head.

Ben was surprised. Franny was such a little bit of a thing. And while he was aware that she a very determined person when she had a goal, he had never seen her in full attack mode. While he hesitated, she let him have it again.

Ben was nonplussed; he couldn't hit her and didn't want to hurt her. He just wanted to be left alone. Alone with his tears. But Franny had other ideas.

"Benton Fraser, I'm going to hit you and hit you with this pillow. What you gonna do about it, hmmmm?"

Ben had to squirm around on his bed to avoid more full pillow hits. He finally let go of Francesca's arm to wrest a pillow from one of her hands. He used the pillow back in retaliation, but did not hit her hard.

She laughed, "You call that a pillow punch?" She swung another pillow directly at his head. It hit with a plop, startling Ben who hadn't been watching for another attack.

He flung his pillow back at her, with more force than his previous hit. The force of his hit knocked her a little sideways, drawing a lioness look into Franny's eyes. She hit him back, harder. He swung the pillow again, this time connecting with her head. She twisted on the bed and climbed up to kneel over him, the pillow over her head. "Gonna give up," she demanded.

Ben lobed another hit with his pillow to her midsection in answer. He was seriously into the pillow fight now. They began to fight blow for blow, the pillows making loud thwacking noises in the room, until finally Ben laughed. Franny halted in mid throw. Her face triumphant. She listened as Ben began to dissolve into the first sounds of genuine laughter she had heard from him in a long time.

He laughed so hard he dropped his pillow. Franny sank unto the bed as laughter dissolved her tension.

Neither combatant had heard the door open during their fight. Neither saw three concerned adults sigh in relief as one of them edged the door closed.

Chapter 16

Franny leaned over and lay against Ben's legs as she held her pillow 'weapon' to her chest. She was breathing hard, her face was flushed and her hair clung to her neck. But Franny's eyes were shinning.

Plopping his pillow behind his head, Ben let his head fall deep into its cushiony softness. He closed his eyes with a sigh. His curly hair rioted over his head following its own curvaceous design. He felt exhilarated, and alive. He listened to their combined rapid breathing in awe. Ben found himself taking a good look at Francesca as if seeing her friendship for the first time. Ben let out a deep sigh, "Franny, I..."

She looked directly into those heavenly blue eyes, "I know Ben, but I won't give you permission to quit. Not for Chase's sake, Ray's sake or for any other person in this houses sake. And that goes double for yourself, Mr. Don't Let the World Know How You Feel." Sliding off the bed, she stood with the pillow in her hand. Leaning over Ben, she placed her pillow next to his and dropped a little kiss on his forehead.

"Lights out for a bit, ummm. Get some sleep." She pulled the covers up to his chin, gave them a pat and went to the door where she turned out the light and left the room.

For the second time that day, a Vecchio leaned against Ben's door and melted down to the floor. Where Ray had set head bowed, Franny sat head thrown back against the door. Her eyes though filled with tears were as smiling as her lips that were cured upwards in a cupid's bow of a smile.

Down the hall Grandmere sat in her chair watching Franny, approval in the lines of her smile. Grandmere exchanged looks with Ma Vecchio who stood in the kitchen door a ladle in one hand and a cloth in the other. Ma nodded approvingly and turned back to her kitchen.

Ben fell asleep in the darkness of his room, relaxed, as he had not been in some days. His breathing was calm and regular. The sound of children playing in the yard lulled him into sleep.

Ray grabbed his coat out the closet in the foyer and slamming the door behind him left the house.

Chapter 17

Ray entered the hospital corridor from the elevator at a brisk pace. His eyes searched the information list for Brianna McBrides name. Finding it, he reentered the elevator and punched her floor number savagely into the elevator controls.

Ridding the elevator made Ray fidget and tap his foot on the floor. When the door finally opened on the appropriate floor, flinging the left front panel of his coat back and thrusting his left hand in his pants pocket he marched down the hall.

The receptionist for Brianna's office looked up to see Ray descending on her station. Her nerves flinched at the site of him. This one is agitated she thought putting her best patient smile on her face.

Ray halted at the desk and addressed her in betrayingly calm tones. "Is Ms. McBride in?"

"May I tell her your name?"

"Yea, tell her the Mountie's friend is here."

"The Mountie's friend?"

"IS she in?" he gritted back, his eyes the turbulent green of the sea in a storm.

The receptionist rose quickly and entered the office behind the desk after a timid knock on the door.

Brianna looked from the files on her desk as she heard the knock on her door. Her hair was pushed behind her ears, a pencil in her hand.

"There's a man out there who wants to know if you will see him, says he's a friend of the Mountie."

The pencil dropped out of Brianna's hand. "Send him in. Of course I'll see him." She quickly closed the file on her desk. Throwing her shoulders back and setting a professional smile on her face she waited for Ray Vecchio to come into her office.

Ray entered at full speed the bottom of his coat swinging harshly about his legs. He marched right up to Bree's desk and leaned over to place his hands on it and glare closely into her face. "Ya got a few minutes, doc." He ground out.

Bree sat back in her chair and maintained her own personal space. "Problem, detective," she inquired in her best professional manner.

"He shut me out today. Wouldn't talk, told me to get out of his room."

"Because?"

"That's just it," Ray said with a shrug. "I don't know why."

"Suppose you tell me a little about today. Then we'll see if we what might have happened. How does that sound."

Ray nodded and plopped into the visitor's chair in front of her desk. He let out a whopping sigh. "Ya gotta help, doc."

Chapter 18

Francesca watched the children squealing in delight. The littlest ones, including Chase were rolling tennis balls across their bedroom floor and laughing hysterically when Chase's puppy and Dief chased after the balls, stopping them with their paws. The sounds of the children's game permeated the room and brightened the look in Franny's eyes.

Both canines lovingly returned the balls to the various children and then would sit and wait to see the ball go rolling off again. Chase's puppy followed each ball with total enthusiasm for the game. He twitched his ears and bounded in frantic and ungainly puppy steps. His body and legs trembled with delight every time the balls went rolling across the floor. Dief being more mature in manner trotted about the room, tail in the air retrieving the balls with casual abandonment. Dief was not above a wolf "errf" sound if the balls did not come his way as often as he would like.

Chase's dark, curly little head was bouncing joyously as he raced the puppy for the ball. His little toddler hand grabbed the tennis ball before the puppy grabbed it. He tilted his head down to the floor and through the tennis ball behind him through the 'V" shape opening between his little trousers. He stood with total joy as his puppy took off again for the errant tennis ball.

Franny noted the time on her wristwatch wondering where Ray had gone when he slammed out of the house earlier. Oh well, she thought, Ray needed some down time too. She was startled from her thoughts by Chase who had suddenly run up to her and enfolded her right leg in his arms as he laid his head against her. She ran her fingers through his curly hair and smiled down at him. He dropped his hold on her leg and ran back to the crowd of Vecchio children yelling, "My turn to throw."

Chapter 19

Ray sat in the chair across from Brianna slumped against the chairs back. Brianna listened as he detailed the day's events. She dropped her pen and stopped making notes. Bree smiled and leaned towards Ray.

"So what you are saying is that you take care of Ben first thing in the morning, on your lunch hour and every evening. That's a lot of your free time Ray."

"Yea, I know. But Benny needs me. He's so frail right now."

"Is he Ray? Tell me more about Ben's days. He's been home for about a week and a half now, right?'

"About that. Let's see I leave for work around 7 a.m. and by that time, Ben's had a bath, gotten dressed and eaten his breakfast. Before I leave we do his physio exercises."

"Then what does Ben do?"

"He sits with his son, and Dief. He probably talks to Ma and his "Grandmere". I know he watches the kids play in the yard. He just started more therapy at home and he works on that. Those kinds of things."

"Does Ben get in and out of bed or his chair by himself?"

"I help him, he hasn't got enough strength yet."

"How do you help him, Ray?"

"I lift, him, hold him up and help him back down either into the bed or into the chair."

"And how does he react to that?"

"His body is still shaky, his muscles aren't strong yet."

"When you hold him, how do you hold him?"

"I hold him."

"Ray, stand up and pretend Ben is in that chair. How would you help him?"

Ray gave her a foolish look. "Pretend."

"Just try it Ray. Then I can see what you've been explaining better."

Ray stood up, shrugged his shoulders, and leaned over as if to help Ben.

"Do you talk to him when you're helping him?"

"Sure. I think so."

"Ray, close your eyes and pretend Ben is really in this room, Go through the motions and forget I'm here."

Ray leaned over again pretended to lift Ben. "This is silly," he said.

"No, it's not Ray. Just try it."

So Ray played out a scene for Bree of how he helped Benny out of the wheelchair. "Hey buddy, I got you. Hang on, just a little bit more." Ray pretended with his eyes closed.

Bree saw Ray pretending to hold Ben close to him, saw how Ray must hold Ben in a tight hold against his own body before turning Ben to help him down. She thought she was getting a clear picture now.

Ray completed the maneuver and fell back into his chair. Bree watched him for a minute. "You care a lot for Ben, don't you?" Bree smiled.

"Yea, I do."

"And its frustrating you that for all you do for Ben, he seems to be backing off. Am I right?"

"Maybe." Ray said casting his eyes down at his hands.

"How do you feel about your sister's pillow fight with Ben?"

"A pillow fight, jeesh she could hurt him."

"Were you jealous Ray."

"Jealous of Franny, come on."

"She did get Ben to laugh, Ray." She hesitated. "Do you and Ben talk Ray?"

"Not like we used to, but yea, we talk."

"Ray, do you feel threatened by the changes in Ben since the rape."

Ray looked at her dumbfounded. "No way. Benny couldn't help what happened to him. It wasn't his fault. I know that. I told him so."

"You told him, or did you reassure him that you don't think any differently of him now than you did before?"

"I tell him with every touch, everytime I help him."

"Do you verbalize telling him Ray, or just touch him."

Ray sat quietly for a minute studying his hands held clasped together. "I told him in words in here at the hospital."

"Have you talked to him about it since?"

Silence was her answer. Bree watched the man before her trying to hold tightly to his composure. She smiled and stood up and moved to a chair next to Ray. Putting a hand on the arm of his chair, she leaned over to him.

"Ray, stand up and pretend that I'm Ben and you are helping him out of the chair." Ray gave her a puzzled look. "Humor me detective." She said flinging her long blonde hair back over her shoulders.

Ray stood up, cleared his throat and leaned over her. "You have to move a little on the chair. Ben sits forward to the edge for a transfer." She complied. Ray motioned for her to lift her arms and then leaned down and lifted her in almost the same way he would lift Ben. When she was standing, she found her face against his shoulder, her body held tightly in the Ray's arm. The grip he had on her was tight, almost cloistering. She had her answer.

"Thank you, Ray." Brianna said moving away from him. Brianna said moving away from him. She returned to the chair at her desk and paused. Ray sat back into his chair, his face flushed.

"Ray, have you told Ben that you love him?" she finally asked in a low whisper.

"Sure, I love Ben, he's like a brother to me." Ray whispered back to her. His green eyes looked past her shoulder not meeting her eyes.

"Ray, are you sure it's brotherly love you feel for Ben?" She paused. When you lifted me out of the chair and held me to you, Ray it was the hold of a lover I felt, not that of a brother. Are you sure about your feelings, Ray?"

Ray stared back at Bree, his coloring ashen. "You're trying to tell me that Benny knows how I feel about him, when I don't know what I feel? To quote Benny, "That's just plain silly."

"Ray, patient's who have been through the kinds of things Ben has often don't rely just on the verbal displays around them. They are very good at picking up on the physical responses around them too. They respond to every word, every touch differently than before the attack. Some of it is involuntary reaction, and some of their responses are calculated to protect themselves. Ben may not be aware of what he is feeling but he knows something is different."

"So, what do you suggest I do? Run home and say, "Benny I'm home and I love you." He spit out at her.

Bree sighed, "Ray, you need to examine your own feelings and know what they are before you talk to Ben. As you said, Ben is fragile right now. He has to rebuild his responses to outside stimuli and gain back his confidence."

"So you're saying I am jealous of Franny because she gets his smiles and I don't."

"Could be. Only you can determine that Ray." She picked up her pencil, "Care to talk with me about it in private sessions for awhile. Beside this problem, you could use the help in dealing with the changes in Ben. There will be more coming you know."

Ray stood up pulling his overcoat tightly over his shoulders. "Yea, you're right. Think I could use some help here, sure ain't gonna find it at home."

"Ok, we'll set up appointments once a week for awhile and see what happens. And I begin home visits with Ben Thursday. We will work this out Ray. I just can't guarantee how it will end."

"Yea, I know." He replied as he walked to the door, his shoulders set low.

Bree waited until the door closed then picked up her phone to talk to the appointment desk. "This is Brianna McBride. Please make appoints for the following people regarding the Benton Fraser case." She began listing the names from Ben's file. "Inspector Megan Thatcher, Francesca Vecchio, Mrs. Vecchio and ask Mrs. Vecchio to bring Chase Fraser and his grandmother along for their visit and Lt. Welsh of the 27th precinct."

She smiled as she hung up. She would complete the picture on Benton Fraser yet. For an uncomplicated man, his relationships were beginning to look totally complex.

Chapter 20

Ray arrived back at the Vecchio home well before dinnertime. He entered the home quietly, removed his coat and headed towards the kitchen. When he came to Ben's door as he went down the hallway, he stopped and listened at the closed door. Ray moved on to the kitchen when he didn't hear any sounds in Ben's room.

As he entered the kitchen, Ray saw Dief and the puppy settled by the door watching his mother work around the kitchen. She was humming as she worked at the counter. Ray was surprised to see Chase sitting next to Ben at the table. Cookie dough was rolled out in front of them and the two Fraser's were busily cutting out cookies and placing them on cookie sheets. The two dark curly heads bobbed up and down as they worked diligently with their cutters.

Ben was the first to look up and see Ray standing in the doorway to the kitchen. He smiled at Ray. Ben's eyes danced with merriment as his hands cut out another cookie. The cooking timer rang and Ben put down his cutter and began to back his wheelchair away from the table. Ray draped his coat on the back of a nearby chair and advanced on the oven. He and Ben arrived at the oven door at about the same time. Their hands touched as they both reached for the cooking mitt at the same time.

"I can do this, Ray." Ben said. His face was red cheeked and healthy looking.

"Ok, Benny" Ray stood away from the oven to watch Ben put the mitt on and open the oven door. The tray of cookies was baked to perfection. Ben leaned in and grasped the tray, pulled it out and rolled his chair back a little so he could put the hot cookie tray on the top of the stove. Then Ben whirled his chair around and lifted a newly filled tray and swung back to place it in the oven. He closed the oven door, took off the mitt and blew out a sigh of contentment.

Ray watched Ben whirl his chair around again and roll back to his spot next to Chase at the table. "Chase and I are helping your mother bake cookies for the Church sale on Saturday, Ray. Want to help?" Ben watched Ray with a cautious expression on his face.

"Sure, I'll help. Where do I fit on this assembly line?" Ray slid into a chair across from Ben and Chase.

Chase raised his eyes to see Ray settled in the chair. "Uncle Ray, you can count the cookies. I don't count yet." The child informed Ray seriously and then kept right on cutting out cookies. "They need icing too Uncle Ray."

Every once in a while cookie dough would find it's way to the floor and the canine faction near the door would slink over and dispose of the evidence. Both animals' tongues lolled out of their mouths waiting for the next cookie spill.

An hour later, Ray noticed that Ben wasn't moving as fast as he had been and that he seemed to be shrugging his shoulders as if to loosen them up. But Ben kept doggedly at his task. Ray could see that each rise and fall of the cookie cutter was becoming painful to Ben. He wanted to whisk Ben off to bed where he could rest, but he knew he should wait for Ben to call a halt on his own.

Ma Vecchio turned around to watch the scene at the table with a smile. She held a bowl of chocolate icing in her hands. She could see Ben's shoulder muscles spasming through his shirt. Walking over to the table, she put the bowl down between the three workers and handed each one a spoon. Three heads bobbed up to watch her walk back to the counter. Three sets of eyes settled on the bowl as three spoons dove into the icing. Chocolate icing disappeared into three waiting mouths.

The Vecchio matriarch smiled to herself as she began to do dishes.

Chapter 21

Ben nervously checked himself out in the mirror Ray had put at wheelchair level for him in the bathroom. Although he had been in the Vecchio home for a week and a half, this would be the first meal he ate at the family table when the whole family would be in presence. He clopped mousse in his hands and applied it carefully to his curls. He really must get a haircut soon or he would begin to look like Chase who wore his hair longish in full toddler style. He brushed at his hair determinedly trying to make it lie flat. Ben finally just flattened his hair with his hands and shook his head derisively. He rinsed the mousse off his hands, took a deep breath. "I can do this." He thought as he turned the chair and wheeled out into the hall.

Chase was the first to see his father enter the kitchen. He was about to bounce off his chair and run to his papa but his Grandmere caught his eye and motioned the little boy to remain seated. It was the motion of Chase settling back in his chair that drew first Ray's and then Franny's attention. Ray started to rise from his chair, but noticed neither Franny nor his mother was making a move to single Ben out. Ray settled back into his chair hoping he had not been noticed.

The wheels of Ben's chair glided quietly to his place at the table. He picked up his napkin and gave Ma a nervous little smile. Without missing a beat in the already loud conversation that was taking place, Ma ordered Ray to pass the polenta to Ben. Maria and Tony were too busy arguing as usual to notice Ben had even arrived at the table. Grandmere gave Ben look of approval and turned back to Chase. Ben settled in more comfortably and began to load his plate. As Ben reached for the bowl of pasta in from of him, his arm touched his dinner knife, which promptly bounced to the floor. Ben's face turned beet red and he looked around to see if anyone had seen the incident. Ray merely leaned over, picked up the knife and set it back on the table without saying a word to Ben. Ben put his head down a little, sighed a grateful sigh and when he was sure the incident had gone unnoticed, he continued to fill his plate.

At the end of the family meal, Ben rolled his chair towards the sink and grabbed a dishtowel preparing to dry the dishes. Ray was about to intervene when his mother went to the sink and began filling it with dishwater. She glanced at Ben with a smile and start putting the dirty dishes into the sink as Franny handed them to her. Ray pulled his shoulders in tight and left the room.

Ray wandered in by the TV and sat on the sofa watching Tony mindless channel surf. Ray strained his ears to hear any sounds coming from the kitchen. All he could hear was laughter. Ray was further depressed by the fact that only he and Tony were watching the dang TV.

Chase and the Vecchio children had fled upstairs to play, the two household canines right behind them. Soon giggling could be heard coming from the upper levels of the home too.

Ray finally gave up; he rose from his seat on the sofa and headed back into kitchen. What he saw made his heart ache. Ben sat in his chair next to the counter. Someone had tied a large dishtowel around his neck to hang down his chest and he was busily drying a dish and handing it to Franny. Franny put the dish away and waited for the next item. Ray noticed how flushed Ben's cheeks were and how happy he looked. Ben really looked happy for the first time in weeks. Ray felt a deep twinge of jealousy rush through his body. For the first time in his life, he was jealous of Franny and her easy, casual manners. Rather than stay and intrude his gloomy disposition on Ben, Ray turned headed up to his room where he gathered the things he needed for a shower.

When the dishes were done, Ben realized that he was completely tired out. The motions of drying the dishes and handing them to Franny had been more than he had anticipated. His arms felt leaden and he knew his muscles were twitching. He glanced at the distance from the sink area to the kitchen door and tensed the muscles in his face. He removed the dishtowel from around his neck and laid it in his lap covered by his hands. He stared down at his hands for a moment then lifted the towel and put in on the countertop. Turning his chair, he took a deep breath and began rolling across the kitchen.

Ma turned from where she stood cleaning off the top of the stove. Her eyes filled with tears. Franny was busy next to her putting silverware away. Franny looked up to see the tears in her mother's eyes. "Cara, go help him," Ma whispered to Franny.

Franny smiled and closed the drawer she was working. She walked casually after Ben until she was beside him. "Going my way," she asked.

Ben looked up at her, a shy smile gracing his lips. He cricked his neck, "Francesca would you do me the favor of pushing my chair to my room. I do believe I have over done it this evening."

Franny put her hand on his shoulder, "Sure Frase". Then she moved behind him and started pushing him down the hall. Her gaze settled on his curly hair as she pushed his chair. Ben collapsed into the back of his chair sighing in relief.

They moved silently down the hall to his room, Franny turned the chair and pushed him over the bookcase by his bed.

Chapter 22

Ray moved down the stairs towards the main floor of the house. Slippers were on his feet and his robe was drawn tightly about him. His hair was still wet from his shower. He entered the foyer to hear the sound of wheels in the back hall. He glanced towards Ben's room and saw Franny pushing Ben into his room.

"Damn it." thought Ray. "I leave him alone like the doc says and then Franny moves in." He shrugged his shoulders and headed down the hall glancing into Ben's room as he passed. From the doorway, all he could see was Franny leaning back against Ben's bedside while Ben sat in his chair looking up at her. "Damn it, Damn it!" Ray continued on his way.

Franny settled her backside against Ben's mattress. A soft, gentle smile played about her lips. "Thanks for letting me help you." She said.

Ben looked up at her surprised. "Why are you thanking me," He was truly perplexed and in one his I don't know what you're talking about modes.

"I haven't wanted to overwhelm you," she answered, "And you know how I just sometimes am this total little buzzing bee around you. So I've kept my distance since you've been home. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings or anything."

Ben's smile deepened, "Franny, I wouldn't exactly call you a buzzing bee, a butterfly maybe, a bee, no."

"Butterfly?"

"Yes, Franny. You always remind me of a butterfly looking for a place to land." He gave her a serious look. "Butterflies are very rare in the territories you know."

"A butterfly. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me Ben."

"It's the truth, that's how I see you." Ben's eyes searched her face as he saw her embarrassment.

By now Franny was truly getting nervous. She stood up from the bedside. "Anything else you might want Ben?"

"No, but you could send Ray in. I'm going to get to bed early tonight."

"Will do." She said leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Ben rolled towards the overstuffed chair where Chase had laid out his night things for him. He began to disrobe and change. Something he could do now quite on his own.

Franny's search for Ray took her into the kitchen where she found Ray seated at the table talking to their mother.

Franny pulled up a chair; "Ben would like you to help him in a moment Ray. He wants to go to bed early tonight."

Ray gave her a displeased look, "Yea, I'll do that little thing Franny." He turned back to his mother. "So you got a call today from Benny's shrink." Ray shook his head.

"I did too, Ray." Franny said. "I think Grandmere and Chase have appointments too."

"What's with this woman," Ray spit out. "Does she want to dissect us all?" With that he rose from the table and went to Ben's room.

Ray knocked on the door and entered when he heard Ben's voice. He was surprised to see Ben dressed for bed, a book in his hands. He wandered over and stood by Ben, breathing in the scent of him as he watched Ben's hands close his book. "Whatcha need Ben?" he managed to get out through his tight throat.

Ben looked up with a sheepish grin on his face. "I want to apologize Ray. I should not have."

Ray cut Ben's apology off. "I know that Benny. I know." Ray knelt down to be at Ben's level of view. "I understand about that. I'm the one who is sorry."

"You, " Ben whispered. "For what?"

"I haven't been the most supportive Ben."

"You help me all the time, Ray."

"But I don't support you, Ben. I've been afraid to do that."

"Ray, I don't understand?" Ben's voice was a mere whisper.

"I can't explain it all right now Ben. I don't understand it all myself."

Ben dropped his eyes away from Ray and looked quickly back. If he only knew what he did to me with looks like that, Ray thought.

"Don't wait too long, Ray." Ben's voice quivered in his throat. "Sometimes I think I'm sinking and no one is throwing me a rope to pull myself out."

"Aw, Ben. Don't do that to yourself. You got a whole house of family here and anyone here would throw that rope for you, if you just holler loud enough. OK." And with that Ray put his right hand on the back of Ben's neck and shook Ben a little. "OK"

Then Ray stood up and motioned for Ben to slid forward on his chair. "Let's get this bedtime show on the road."

A minute later, Ben was in bed with Ray drawing the covers up over him. Ray softly patted the covers over Ben's chest as he turned out the bedside light and walked to the door. "Night, Ben."

Ben lay in bed for a long time after Ray left, awake but not lonely.

Chapter 23

The rose color of the early morning sun's rays filtered into Ben's window. The shadows from the tree branches outside his room shown in panorama form on the walls of the room. Ben's curly hair was tousled and riotous, his eyes closed. The covers pushed down to his waist revealing the soft pajama top he wore.

Ben's father leaned against the windowsill. It was his favorite vantage point for watching over Ben. His arms were crossed as well his booted feet. The waves of his silver hair gently floated down over the shorter portions of his haircut. His eyes held a depth of sadness for his son. He threw his shoulders back and changing position turned to look out the bedroom window.

The door to Ben's room opened slowly. A little head full of curls peeped around the door. The little figure slid into the room closing the door behind him. He tiptoed up to the bed and climbed onto the wheelchair sitting next to the bed. Carefully, he inched his way onto the bed. Chase saw the shadow of trees on the wall and looked to the window. He saw his grandfather standing there with his back to the bed. Chase smiled and slid like a little worm until his was lying next to Ben. He curled his little body into his father's warmth and fell asleep.

Becoming aware of someone else in the room, Robert Fraser turned to look at his son's bed. Ah there was a site, father and son asleep in the same bed, two dark curly heads against each other. Robert Fraser sighed and walked out of the room via Ben's closet.

Half an hour later, Ray opened the door to Ben's room, stepped inside and turning back to the door closed it. When he turned to face the bed, he could see Ben's body still and motionless. Then Ray moved into the room and as he walked, he saw Ben's body relax and stretch. Ray filed the movements into his thoughts and continued towards the bed.

"How could anyone find fault with this. He thought to himself. Just look at these two. This must be what angels look like.

Ray lifted the covers and placed them gently over the two sleepers. "Think you deserve a morning off, Ben." He whispered and turning tiptoed out of the room.

Ray ran up the steps to his room after telling his mother he was going to let Ben sleep. She had put her arm around him and called him her dearest boy. He dressed quickly and knocked at Franny's door yelling for her to get up.

Ray ran back down the steps with his overcoat over his arm. Passing his mother in the kitchen, he said, "Call me when he wakes, Ma. I'll swing back by so he can get out of bed."

His mother smiled, "You don't have to do that, Ray. Tony has the day off. I'm sure he can help Ben when he gets up."

"Ma, I don't think Ben would appreciate that. Call me ok." And with that Ray went out the door to work.

Franny wandered into the kitchen fluffing her sleep-tousled hair. Her mother set a bowl, spoon and milk on the table and Franny stumbled into a chair to drop her head into her hands. "I just can't wake up this morning. I traded days with the new clerk at work. Guess my body knows I don't have to move if I don't wanna." Franny smiled at her mother. She poured cereal into her bowl and began crunching away. Franny took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair. "It's a lovely morning, Ma."

"To be sure it is, cara. Ray left a little while ago. Ben is still sleeping." She turned and opened the refrigerator, "Ray says if we call, he will swing back this morning to help Ben."

Franny raised surprised eyes to her mother's face. She like the rest of the household knew Ray and Ben's early morning routine. It was hard for her to imagine that Ray would neglect Ben this way. Franny wondered what was going on, she was nobody's fool, and something was up.

Chase's little feet made swooshing sounds on the kitchen floor as he entered the room. "Papa's still sleeping. But I'm awake Grama V." His little eyes took in Franny's cereal bowl. "May I have a bowl too please?"

"Such nice manners you have Chase. Of course you may have a bowl of cereal."

Chase looked seriously at the two women. "Grandmere says manners make the man. I'm not a man yet, but I will be someday."

Franny who was finishing her cereal almost choked on her last bite. She turned twinkling eyes up to her mother.

"Manners are indeed a sign of a good man, caro. But it's what's underneath the manners that counts the most."

At that Chase sat back and looked under the table, then back at Ma. He shook his little head. Adults were sure funny sometimes he thought.

Franny left the room with her hand over her mouth to keep from laughing at Chase outright. She passed the room Grandmere slept in and continued down the hall. Chase had left Ben's door partially open. Franny couldn't resist peaking into see Ben.

Ben was waking up slowly now that the sun was shinning in brilliant rays through his window. He stretched and his comforter slid further down his chest. His tousled hair curled charmingly across his pale brow. He reached for the metal triangle over his bed and pulled himself up to a sitting position. Looking around the room, he realized it was far past the time he usually rose. He noticed his door was pen and saw Franny standing there barefooted in her pj's.

The smile Ben gave Franny was timid. He held his eyes carefully, not daring to sweep past her neck. She took his smile as an invitation to enter the room.

She crossed the room to stand close by his bed but not close enough to touch Ben, a shy smile on her lips. "Morning Ben, Ray left for work earlier. He said he would come back to the house when you were ready to get up."

Ben got that stubborn look on his face that Ray would recognize as I am going to do this by myself. "Thank you kindly for telling me Franny. But I think I can get up on my own." He swung the covers back off his legs and turned his body to sit on the side of the bed with he legs dangling over the edge. He lifted the hand control off the bed and lowered the entire bed until he feet were almost on the floor. He leaned towards his chair and grabbing one of its armrests pulled it nearer to him. Then he began to inch his way off the bed so his feet were on the floor. Taking a deep breath, Ben began to stand up. He kept one hand on the triangle. He was finally on his feet and his face very flushed. His muscles were all twitching.

Franny bit her upper lip and moved a little closer to the chair. Ben slid one foot forward without lifting it off the floor, swaying with the movement. Franny moved quickly to stand next him but did not touch him. Ben gritted his teeth and let go of the triangle only to find himself swaying towards Franny. Franny stood her ground and gently taking Ben's free arm that was near her draped it over her shoulder and placed her own arm around his waist. They each took a deep breath and slid forward on the floor until his chair was behind him. Using his free hand, Ben felt behind him for the chair and with convulsing muscles lowered himself into it.

Stepping back from his chair, Franny wiped her sweaty brow and gave a very nervous laugh. She put out a hand and laid it on the arm of his chair. He placed his hand over hers and enfolded her fingers in his.

Laughing nervously Franny cupped their entwined fingers with her free hand. "This is good, this is good." She repeated over and over in her mind.

Ben released her hand slowly, "Franny would you get me my robe from the closet." The deepness of his voice was trilling a bit into higher tones as it sometimes did when he was nervous.

Franny stepped back and ran to the closet "Sure thing Ben." She mumbled.

Franny returned to Ben with his robe. He smiled at her putting his hand out. She smiled back but failed to hand over the robe.

Seconds passed, then Ben reached up towards her. "My robe please."

Franny broke out of her trance state and handed him the robe. "Oh my gosh, sorry Ben." She handed the robe to him and headed towards the door. "I think I heard Ma calling, I think I'll just ah just go see." Franny fled Ben's room, a huge smile on her face.

Ben watched her rush from his room and chuckled.

Chapter 24

Ray pulled the Riv into the driveway and got of the car and stretched. It was almost noon. He had spent the morning thinking about Ben. He did paperwork and thought about Ben. He had listened to the Lieutenant talk and had thought about Ben. Ray felt frustrated; all he could do was think about Ben. But for all his thinking about Ben, he still had no answers.

Closing the door of his car, Ray started walking up to the house. He walked with his head down. When he reached the front door, he squared his shoulders, put a smile on his face and entered the house.

Pulling his coat off his shoulder's Ray proceeded into the foyer. He stopped and listened for sounds in the house. He heard his mother and Chase and Grandmere in the kitchen. He heard music wafting down the staircase from Franny's room. He didn't hear Ben. Ray wandered down the hall without announcing his presence. As he got close to Ben's door he slowed his pace, he pulled himself up and took a deep breath. He knocked then entered Ben's door.

Ben was dressed in his usual RCMP jogging outfit. He was sitting near his weights and working out. Ray watched as Ben leaned over replacing a lightweight to pick up a heavier one. Ben straightened in his chair and held the weight down beside the chair. He slowly raised the weight out to the side and held it in position.

Ray watched Ben realizing how beautiful the man was to watch. The curly hair was in need of a haircut and was beginning to curl softly around the nape of Ben's neck. His shoulders were regaining their strength and musculature. Ben's back was so straight as he sat there in the damn wheelchair to which he was confined. Ray's eyes wandered back to the nape of Ben's neck. He wandered if Ben realized how sensuous he appeared.

Clearing his throat, Ray advanced into the room. "Hey, Benny. How's the weight work going?" Gosh I hope he can't hear how tense I am. Ray thought.

Ben positioned the weight he was using in his lap and turned his chair to face Ray. His eyes brightened but he was not smiling. "It's going pretty good Ray. " Ben glanced down at the weight in his lap and ran his right hand over it.

Ray felt his stomach muscles bunching. He couldn't take his eyes off Ben's hand. "Yea, well those weights will get you in shape in no time. Listen I had to leave early this morning, so I came back to see if you needed help with anything."

"Franny helped me get out of bed. And Chase helped me get my clothes out. It's ok Ray. I managed."

Ray felt as if Ben had kicked him in the gut. Franny? he thought, Unbelievable.

Shrugging his shoulders Ray replied, "Franny helped you! Frase, you two couldn't been hurt trying that. I don't think you should try that again."

"I'm stronger than you think Ray." Ben's eyes glinted dangerously.

"Sure, you're getting stronger every day. But Ben, you haven't graduated to crutches yet. You know what the doc said. Take your time."

"That seems to be all I do have Ray."

"Yea, well that'll change, believe me." Ray dropped his coat unto the chair be Ben's window and turned to face him. "You almost done with those for now. You want to clean up or anything."

"Ray.."

"Ok, you can do more for yourself now, but there's no way you're negotiating that tub on your own. And I don't think you want Franny or Ma's help with that? Correct."

"Point conceded Ray." Ben leaned down and put the weight back into its holder. Ray walked to the closet and retrieved a new set of clothing for Ben along with Ben's robe.

Turning he back on Ben, Ray walked to the door. "Well, come on. I don't have all day." Ray flung at Ben over his shoulder.

"Be right there Ray." Ben smiled at Ray's retreating back and began rolling his chair to his door.

Chapter 25

Ben wheeled into the bathroom to see Ray begin filling the tub. Ben continued into the room and closed the door behind him. Grabbing the bottom hem of his sweatshirt, Ben pulled it off in one swift motion. He folded it and laid it on the floor. Then he inched forward in his chair and began taking off his sweat pants. It was then that he realized he would need help with his shoes and socks

"Ray, excuse me. Could you help me with my shoes and socks?"

"Sure Benny," Ray said and swung down to release Ben's shoes and socks. Ray worked quickly so he wouldn't have to touch Ben any more than necessary.

Once Ben was ready for the bath, he sat forward in his chair after locking the wheels and began to push himself up and out of the chair. Ray turned around from the sink to see Ben slowly rising out of the chair. Ray gasped, "Hey Benny take it easy. Don't you know most accidents happen in the home?" But Ray wanted Ben out of that chair and into the tub so he could get out of that room quick. There was entirely too much Benny on display.

For the first time, Ray felt awkward holding his friend up. Ray had always realized Ben was more than just good looking. Damn there out to be a law against looking as good as Ben. Ray tried to settle in his professional persona. It didn't help. But he put his arm around Ben's naked waist and helped him lift one leg then the other into the bath. Ben was strong enough now to help a little more as he was being lowered into the water.

As Ben settled into the water, he closed his eyes and laid his curly head back against the tub and sighed in relief. The warm water was soothing all his tense muscles. He lay there totally relaxed, unaware that Ray was staring at him.

Ray's eyes took in every curve, every shape of Ben's totally relaxed form. He gulped and turned towards the door so Ben might not see his eyes, his soul. "I'll be back in a few. I'll ask Ma to lay out our lunch."

Ray left the room and shut the door quickly, secure in the thought that Ben hadn't suspected a thing. He leaned against the door for a second drawing in rapid breaths and then straightening up he walked into the kitchen.

Chase sat at the table stirring something in a bowl. Ray noticed his mother glance up at him from where she sat at the table. "Hi Ma. You didn't call so I just came home on my own. What's for lunch? I told Ben I would ask you to make something. " He leaned over and kissed his mother on the cheek.

"Will sandwiches be ok?" she asked.

"Yea, Ma. Whatever you make will be just fine."

Chapter 26

Ben was enjoying the feeling of the warm water surrounding his aching muscles. He raised his hands and rubbed them over his face and slid down into the water to completely immerse himself.

The door to the bathroom opened and Franny stepped in quickly with her head down reading a magazine article as she walked straight into the bathroom. She walked right into Ben's chair. With a startled gasp, she looked first at the chair and then the tub. She couldn't believe her eyes. Ben was totally submerged in the tub. Franny panicked, dropped her magazine and quickly knelt by the tub to reach in and grab Ben by the shoulders and try to pull him up out of the water. Her small hands grabbed him as hard as she could and she pulled.

Water sputtered out of Ben's mouth as he felt hands grasping him. His eyes flew open and he pushed himself up out of the water in one quick swoop. He came face to face with Franny. Water was splashing out of the tub and onto the floor. Ben's dark curly hair was plastered back over his head. Rivulets of water ran down the skin on his pale face. His deep-blue eyes were wide in fright. Ben was holding his breath.

Franny was covered in water, her hands still on Ben's shoulders. Her face was mere inches from his. Franny began to cry. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she brushed then away with her hands, but she didn't move from the tub. Her eyes looked into his and she knew she had scarred him.

"I didn't know you were in here." she whispered in the tiniest of voices. "I wouldn't have come in here if I had known you were in here. The door wasn't locked. I came in and you were under the water, I thought you had hit your head or something." Franny was deep into Franny babble the words tumbled out so quickly Ben was having a hard time keeping up as his own thoughts were rather chaotic.

Ben finally dragged in a deep breath, and began breathing rapidly. He searched Franny's terrified face as if that would help him understand the words that were still pouring out of her mouth at a fantastic rate.

The absurdity of the situation hit them at the same time. Their nervous laughter combined to fill the room in its merriment of sound. Franny looked down and then gulped. God he was beautiful, she thought. Don't look Franny. Oh Franny memorize that body now. She thought. Franny pulled back from Ben and grabbed a towel and began wiping up the floor. Her dark hair fell across her face and hide her expression from Ben who now had time to be embarrassed. He turned on his side in the tub hiding the more interesting parts of his body from view.

Ben's chin rested on the side of the tub as he watched her hurriedly cleaning up the mess on the floor. Her movements were quick and sure. Her lithe little frame fit around the wheels of his chair as she whipped water up. She turned and looked at him nervously.

"Don't tell Ray, Ok. He'd be livid" Franny mumbled. "He's always yelling at me to watch where I'm going."

"I won't tell him, Francesca." Ben replied with a wicked smile on his face. "But if you don't hurry up and leave, he'll see you in here for himself."

Franny grabbed the magazine she had thrown on the floor and fled the room.

Ben sighed and settled back to lie against the tub. He wiped his face with his hands and slipped beneath the water again.

Chapter 27

Fraser lolled languidly in the warm water, his dark, curly hair resting on the back of the tubs edge. The tub was one of those old fashioned, claw-foot tubs that had so much room in them. He was enjoying the enervating warm feeling. Warm water caressed his body encapsulating him in its warmth. The water was very hot and lines of sweat rolled down his beautiful pale face. His blue eyes closed, the deep-black lashes fluttered against his skin. He began to slip down into the water. His hands and feet floated in the water and rose and fell with each waving undulation of water. He could hear his heart beating as sounds of his breathing filled the room. His soul had felt cold, and alone before he came to the bath. His body had felt stiff and old. He was becoming so relaxed as he lay in the warm water that he let his entire body begin to float in the water. Soon the hair on the top of his head was his only contact with the tubs surface. His ears were below the water as his head and neck and torso floated free. The warm water rocked him gently like a baby as he floated free of support. The sounds of the water lapping at the tubs edges rang in his ears, rocking him like a lullaby with its soft whooshing sounds.

Visions of Franny as she cleaned the water off the bathroom floor kept flitting through his mind. She had been so genuinely scarred that he was drowning. He couldn't find fault with her harsh grasp on his shoulders. He could still feel the cutting of her little fingers as they dug tightly into his flesh to pull him out of the water's depths. Never would he forget the look on her eyes as they had come face to face within inches of each other. Nor would he ever forget the sound of their rapid breathing as her fear drained out of her leaving her embarrassed. He could still feel the coolness of the tub as he had rolled onto his side to plaster himself against the tub in the water to watch her cleaning the floor, her own clothing soaked in water. He pictured her hair as it bounced around her face as she worked quickly to mop up the floor. All of these images caressed him as he floated in the water, totally relaxed, as he had not been in weeks.

The bathroom door opened quietly as Ben lay almost still in the water as the warm water lapped around his eyes and mouth and nose. Ray peaked around the door to see if Ben was ready to be helped from the tub. Ben floated on, oblivious to Ray's entry into the room. Ray tiptoed in and sat in Ben's wheelchair watching the man he loved and admired stretched out in the tub. He watched Ben's fingers as the water lifted them and hugged them, as those beautiful fingers rose and fell with each undulation of water. As the water lifted Ben's feet, Ray watched unable to keep his gaze away and he let his eyes slowly devour every inch of Ben that was exposed to sight. He watched the curls on Ben's head float in the water around his ears. He saw the sweat on Ben's brow from the heat of the water. He watched the water lap around the curls in Ben's pubic area. He could almost feel the water on Ben's testicles that were drawn up in the heat of the water and floated free of his body. His hands ached to reach out and waken Ben from his reverie, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He listened to the ease of Ben's breathing and knew that Ben was as relaxed as he had been for some time. Ray's own brow began to feel sweaty, the palms of his hands damp. Each of Ben's breaths made Ray aware of the rise and fall of the pale skin near Ben's navel, made him aware of each rib as it expanded and contracted filling human lungs with air. Ray closed his eyes to avoid staring at Ben's near perfect body. Ray hauled in a deep breath of his own and tapped his foot on the side of the tub near the door to the bathroom.

Ben slowly opened his eyes into slits to see Ray waiting for him as he sat in the chair. Ben drank in the sight of his best friend, sitting nervously waiting to help with yet another task he could not do for himself. Ray's wondrously luminescent green eyes were soft with moisture. From the slits in his eyes, Ben could see a new look about Ray as he watched Ben float, his body in freefall in the water. The look on Ray's face was new to Ben and was one he couldn't quite place a name to as yet. The air coming into Ben's lungs finally constricted and he fluttered his eyes open, not realizing how tantalizing he looked as he floated buoyantly in the tub. He consciously let his body become heavy in the water and sank back in its small depths. He smiled up at Ray and began to sit up in the water. Ben looked down at the tub's plug and pulled it out, missing the look of total adoration Ray sent his way.

Ray collected himself quickly, grabbing a towel for Ben and standing by the tub. Ben waited until the water was completely out of the tub and reached up towards Ray with both arms open in the way of a small child asking to be picked up. Ray leaned over quietly and placed his arms under Ben's armpits and began to haul Ben up. Moving carefully as if he held a priceless porcelain object, Ray brought Ben to a standing position in the tub. Neither man talked or seemed to acknowledge the other as Ben began lifting his left leg from the tub. It took only a moment for both men to be standing, the one encircled by a huge bath sheet of a towel and held upright by the other. Ray held Ben within his right arm circled protectively around Ben waiting for him to be steady on his feet. With his left hand Ray held Ben's towel over his shoulders, keeping Ben warm. Ray looked over Ben's shoulder and into the medicine cabinet mirror. He cast himself a look of loathing as he almost began to let his left hand run up and down Ben's back. He took a deep breath to smell Ben's skin and hair fresh from the bath. Ray closed his eyes in anguish and began turning Ben to sit down into the wheelchair. When Ben was seated, he turned away from Ben so his eyes were hidden and began gather Ben's shaving equipment on the edge of the sink for Ben. Ray took his time about it and listened to the sounds of Ben drying off and dressing as he busied himself at the sink. When he was sure Ben must be dressed, he turned and gave Ben a wide smile.

"Your stuff is all set there for you. When you're done come on into the kitchen, Ma has lunch ready." Ray usually touched Ben on the shoulder when he left the room, and it wasn't until Ben was done shaving that he realized that Ray had left without touching him.

Upstairs in her room, Franny changed her clothing and grabbed her magazine. She took a last look in her bedroom mirror as she was leaving the room. Her eyes riveted on the spot where she had a picture of Ben and flinging the magazine back on her bed she quietly left her bedroom.

Ma finished setting the lunch table as first Ray, and then Ben entered the kitchen. Each man was quiet and thoughtful, but each greeted her with a smile. She heard steps on the stairs and watched as Franny entered the kitchen. Ma noticed the unusual paler on Franny's face as well as the reserved manner in which Franny settled into her chair.

The two siblings glanced at each other without a word. Each totally aware that there was some change going on in the room. Each was hoping that their parent and Ben would not notice a thing.

Chapter 28

Ben ate his sandwich quietly sitting in his chair between the Vecchio siblings. His damp curly hair was springing up around his head in a childish fashion. Ben's face glowed from his recent bath as he sat in his regulation RCMP jogging suit. He looked up to see Ma Vecchio watching him with the same look he had seen on her face when she watched one of her grandchildren or his own son, Chase. He saw love and pride in her face as she looked directly at him. He choked back the impulse to give in to tears. He used his dinner napkin to wipe his mouth and to cautiously wipe at the corner of his eyes. Ben wondered how he could deserve her pride. But he had seen much the same look in Grandmere's eyes when she looked at him and Chase. Ben unconsciously straightened up in his wheelchair and gave Mrs. Vecchio a sweet smile back. He was completely surprised when she got up walked around the table and putting both her arms around his shoulders leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. She hugged him to her as his face continued to turn red in embarrassment. He placed one of his hands on her arms and leaned back into her for a moment before she pulled away and smiling to herself left the room.

Franny and Ray exchanged quick glances and kept right on eating. Ray finished first and picking up his eating utensils walked over to the sink. As he placed his things on the counter, he glanced at Ben. Ray was suddenly vividly aware that a meal had just been eaten in silence in the Vecchio kitchen. And the silence had been a nice thing, not one of those silences where the very air seemed charged with tension. Ray shrugged his shoulders and felt guilty as he broke the silence. "Hey, Ben. Anything else you need before I go back to work?"

Ben was collecting his eating implements and preparing to wheel over to the sink. He looked up at Ray, "No Ray. I don't think I need any help with anything this afternoon."

"Ok, but if you need anything, I mean if you should suddenly realize you need something, you got the beeper number right." Ray's head nodded back and forth.

"Yes, Ray. And your mother and Franny are here. I shouldn't need any help."

Ray began ambling towards the door, "Well, just remember, if you need something call." With a wave of his hand Ray went down the hall and out the front door. Once Ray was out of sight on the front porch he rushed down to the Riv and got in. He collapsed his head against the steering wheel and took a deep breath before starting the car and pulling away.

Franny put her lunch dishes into the sink and turned to face Ben. "Thanks for not telling Ma or Ray what a dork I was earlier." She stammered in a soft whisper.

Ben looked up at her and gave her one of his brightest smiles. "I don't consider you a dork for thinking you were saving my life, Francesca." He hesitated, "You were right to pull me up out of the water that way. I had no right scaring you that way."

"Ben, you have every right to enjoy your bath. I was stupid for walking in that way. It wouldn't have happened if I had just noticed the door was completely shut before barging in that way." Franny's face was beet red as she talked.

He rolled his chair up to her. "Ray and I should have hung a sign on the door, or let everyone know I was using the room, it wasn't your fault. Don't' feel guilty about doing something that was the right thing to do, if I had been drowning that is." His smile was lit his face in genuine concern for her.

"Thank you Ben. But I don't want Ray or Ma to know about it. Could we keep this to ourselves?"

"I will not tell Ray, Francesca. But I will have to explain to your mother why I want to put a sign on the bathroom door when I am using it. But I will not tell her what happened. Does that sound fair?"

"Oh yes, thanks." She let her fingers fidget with her hair as she talked.

"Then it's settled, I won't tell anyone."

She smiled her thanks and walked back to the sink to start dishwater. Ben rolled his chair over next to her and picked up a dishtowel. "You wash, I'll dry."

Chapter 29

It was late afternoon when Ray returned back to the house. He knew he was just in time for the evening meal and went into the bathroom right away to wash up. As he turned the knob, he saw a small sign hanging on the handle. One side said "unoccupied"; he flipped it over to see the other side, which read "Occupied". He shrugged his shoulders and went in to emerge in a few minutes ready for dinner.

Everyone had eaten quickly and then the family dispersed. Most of the Vecchio family wound up in front of the TV. Even Ben had wheeled in and took up a position where he could watch Chase as he played on the floor with Dief and the puppy while the TV played. By 8:30 p.m., Chase was looking sleepy, as were the Vecchio children. Tony and Maria sent all the little ones up to bed and went upstairs themselves. Franny had stayed in her room after dinner, and Grandmere and Ma had remained in the kitchen talking over coffee. By 9 p.m., Ben found his head drooping and decided it was time for him to hit the sack too. He backed his chair up and tried to quietly leave the room. Ray heard him and quickly shut off the TV. "Here, I'll go with you. When you're ready for bed, I'll tuck you in."

Ben gave him a quick look and kept rolling his chair towards the hallway. "Ray, I can get ready myself you know. But I would appreciate your help getting into bed. I am tired."

"Sure thing, Benny. You go get changed and I'll be in in a moment." Ray stopped to watch Ben disappear into his room.

Several minutes later, when Ray thought Ben would be dressed for bed, he entered Ben's room. Ben was just slipping his pajama top on over his head. He was already dressed in the matching bottoms. Ben rolled his chair towards his bed and noticed that Ray had closed the door behind him after he came into the room.

Ray approached Ben quietly and waited for him to indicate that he was ready to get into the bed. Ben slid forward in the chair after he set it next to the bed and locked the wheels. He began to lever himself out of the chair and was partially standing when Ray put his arms around him and lifted him the rest of the way out of the chair.

Gently Ray turned his friend and helped him settle onto the bed. Ben lay back and raised his feet up and drew the covers over his body. Ray placed a hand near Ben's head on the pillow and looked down at his exhausted friend. "You ok." He asked Ben in dulcet tones.

Ben looked up at him and nodded. "I'm just tired, nothing to worry about Ray. " Settling back into the pillows Ben sighed. "Been a long day."

"I should have helped you more, I'm sorry."

"No, Ray. I have to start doing more. I can't stay in this chair forever."

"Yea."

"I intend to be using those crutches soon."

"Just remember what the doc said, and don't rush it."

"I won't Ray. I will be careful."

"Ok then." Ray said letting the hand that had been on Ben's pillow slide down to Ben's shoulder where he let it lay a moment before giving Ben's shoulder a soft, rubbing squeeze and turning to leave. Ray went to the door and looked back. "Night Ben." He said as he turned out the light and shut the door.

Ben lay in bed in the darkness for a long time wondering about Ray's shoulder squeeze and the changes he was seeing in Franny. He drifted sleep with visions of Vecchio's in his head.

Chapter 30

Today was to Ben's first trip out the house since coming home from the hospital. He had risen early and done all his therapy as outlined by the doctors and spent time with his son before breakfast. He had helped with the breakfast dishes and returned to his room to rest a bit before his outing.

Ray called an hour after leaving for work to say that he couldn't take Ben into the hospital but that he had arranged for one of the outpatient van's to pick Ben up and return him to the house. Franny was working and no one else would be available to accompany Ben to the hospital. Ben was nervous but assured Ray that he could do it and Ray was not to worry.

An hour before he needed to leave, Ben sat ready in the front room with Dief at his side watching out the window. His coat lay on his lap. The outpatient van arrived on time and the driver helped Ben into it, but Dief would have to ride in the back in a special spot set aside for service dogs. Dief wore his harness for pulling Ben and sat quietly watching Ben as they traveled to the hospital.

Everything at the hospital went as planned. Dief pulled Ben around quickly and easily through the hospital corridors. Ben was able to visit both the outpatient therapy area to see if his exercises needed changing and his doctor. Both visits turned out well. And Ben was informed he might be able to graduate to crutches sooner than they had hoped. He checked in with his rape counselor's office and was told that he qualified for home visits and that Dr. McBride would be calling to set up some visits at the Vecchio home.

By the time Ben was done with his visits, he was tired and glad he had Dief to pull him back down to the outpatient doors. The outpatient van arrived and both Dief and Ben were loaded in with ease by the driver, however, this driver insisted that Dief be tied to a restricting panel in the back of the van. Another patient was loaded into the van for a ride to his home. The first patient was dropped off within a few blocks of the hospital. Ben sat quietly as the van continued on its way. But in a few blocks of the hospital, the van took a turn that Ben knew was wrong. He raised his head and looked into the rear view mirror to see the driver's face. What he saw there startled him. The eyes of the driver looked back at Ben with a leering look and the man ran his tongue over his lips as he watched Ben look at him. At first Ben couldn't believe they weren't going in the right direction, so he kept quiet. But it soon became obvious that something was not right.

The van pulled into an alley and the man turned off the engine. He turned the drivers seat to face Ben. Rising from the drivers seat, the man picked up a rope that had been lying on the passenger seat. He quickly made a large loop in the rope and tossed it over Ben so that Ben was held fast to the back of his chair with his arms pinned to his side. Dief began growling but the man just laughed. He picked up a dart gun and shot the wolf with expert ease. Dief dropped to the floor of the van almost immediately, his eyes moving as they watched the man approach Ben. Ben didn't struggle, nor did he say a word. He waited in stillness, his heart racing.

The man approached Ben from behind and grabbed his hair and pulled Ben's head back as he dropped a loop of rope around Ben's neck and pulled. He lowered his face to Ben's face and began to lick Ben's face and eyes. He laughed deep in his throat and said, "This is a message for you." He kissed Ben's mouth deeply and cruelly almost forcing the blood from Ben's lips. He raised his mouth, "Testify against the man who raped you and worse will happen to you or someone you love. Understand." He tied the rope around Ben's neck to the back of the wheelchair so Ben could hardly breath. Then he began to use a large pair of shears he took out of his uniform pocket and began to cut Ben's clothing off, piece by piece. When Ben's torso was naked the man kissed each of Ben's nipples and rubbed them gently with his fingers. He used another rope and bound Ben's hands together in his lap and undid Ben's trouser button and pulled down the zipper before pulling Ben's trousers down around his knees. He broke off the tab on the zipper then he disarranged the rest of Ben's clothing and cut Ben's boxers into shreds with the scissors. He pulled the boxers off of Ben when he was done cutting, leaving Ben sitting there with his trousers around his knees, the zipper broken. Next he took of Ben's shoes and took his socks off. He stood back and looked at his handiwork. Then he purposefully used his fingers to mark Ben's arms and stomach and laid his hand on Ben's neck as he loosened the rope holding Ben's head back. He leaned in for another kiss as held Ben's head in place with both hands while he ground his mouth savagely against Ben's compressed lips. He kissed Ben while thrusting one of his hands into the back of Ben's pants, spreading Ben cruelly. He stepped back and pulled Ben's lower body forward in the chair, stretching his neck painfully against the neck rope. The putting his hands in between Ben's legs he forced Ben's legs apart. Taking an object that Ben couldn't see out of his pocket, he forced Ben to slid forward a little more on the wheel chair until his neck was again strained back by the rope around his neck. Ben felt his air supply being cut off as some kind of metal object was forced into his anus. The man smiled as he pushed the object into Ben. Ben could feel the object growing thicker and thicker as it slid into him. When the man was done, he stepped back again placing the metal object back into his pocket. "Don't count on walking too soon, Mountie." He said. "I just took care of that courtesy of the guy sitting in jail for raping you. You two must have had some fun. I'm leaving you know. It'll be cold in here in a while. Spose someone will find you. Take care pretty boy." And with one last look at Ben, the man opened the passenger door and slipped out of the van.

Through it all, Ben had willed himself to be still. He knew he could survive almost anything now and this time he was just plain mad. Ben had never been this mad before, not even when Gerard had killed his father. Ben sat quietly waiting for Dief to wake up and hoping it wouldn't be long. He tested his legs and knew he could move them, but something didn't feel right. His muscles seemed to feel like lead. It was getting cold in the van and he only hoped someone would find them soon.

Chapter 31

Franny had arrived home from work early and knowing Ray wouldn't be able to pick Ben up at the hospital she grabbed something to drink and hurried off to see if she could pick him up herself.

She arrived at the hospital in time to see a van leaving the area but didn't know that Ben was inside. After parking her car, she entered the outpatient area and asked after Ben. They told her he had just left in the outpatient van. Franny ran back to her car and headed in the direction she had seen the van going.

Franny was able to catch up to the van within a few blocks of the hospital, but lost sight of it when she had to stop for a traffic light and the van proceeded ahead of her. She drove on expecting to see the van heading in the direction of her home. She was very surprised to see it about three blocks ahead of her turn onto another street leading away from her home. Two more traffic stoplights later, she turned at the same corner and didn't see the van ahead of her. She continued down the street looking around as she drove. Franny kept checking the area as she drove and was rewarded for her vigilance when she spotted the van parked deep into a dark alley. Franny picked up her cell phone and called Ray.

She did not get an answer from Ray's phone, so she called the precinct office and asked someone to get in touch with Ray. Closing her phone, she sat in her car parked across from the alley. About twenty minutes later, she watched as a big, bald headed man exited the van and walked calmly out to the street. She watched as he headed towards a car parked about a block way. He got in and drove away. Franny waited a few minutes and climbed out of her car. Cautiously she approached the van. The windows were too high up for her to see inside so she tried the passenger side door. It opened easily and she climbed inside.

Franny gasped out Ben's name and clambered over the passenger seat to the wheelchair compartment. She began shaking but quickly began loosening Ben's ropes. She undid the one around his neck first. His eyes were closed and he was deathly pale. Using her right hand, she supported his head and raised it.

"Ben," She whispered closed to his ear nearly in tears. "Ben, please answer me."

He drew in a deep breath and opened his eyes. "I'm ok. Franny. He didn't hurt me; he just wanted to scare me. Do you think you can untie my hands and check on Dief."?

"Sure Ben, Sure." She frantically untied his hands trying not to notice his lack of clothing. Glancing around the interior of the van, she noticed a lap blanket and grabbing it, drew it over him. Then she made her way to the back of the van and examined Dief who was already coming around.

"Dief's ok, Ben." She smiled back at him. She untied the wolf and went back to Ben. He was trying to rub some feeling back into his hands.

"Ben, what's going on? Who was that creep."

Ben was finally able to move his hands more freely and placed one of his hands on Franny's hands that rested on the arm of his chair. "He was a messenger from the man who raped me. They don't want me testifying." He said in a barely audible whisper. "He threatened all of us. And I doubt we will find him to question him."

"I saw the car he drove away in Benton. It was a blue Volvo wagon with a crack in the rear window."

"Probably stolen."

"Oh, I see"

She was silent for a few seconds. "I have a call into Ray. He'll be here soon. You warm enough Ben?" She said tugging the blanket around him more securely.

"Yea, I'm warm enough" Ben said with a definite glint in his eyes.

Chapter 32

Franny sat next to Ben protectively watching him and surveying the area she could see outside the windows of the van. She had unobtrusively found and placed on the floor next to her a long piece of iron. Ben had not seen her pick it up. Franny was surprised to find she didn't feel at all nervous around Ben like she usually did. Ben was sitting in his chair covered by the blanket Franny had put around him watching Dief slowly wake up in the back of the van.

Ben shivered under his blanket, his skin rising in goose bumps. He flexed the fingers of his right hand repeatedly into a fist. Franny noticed that Ben's body was shivering and sat closer to him and put an arm around his shoulders to adjust his blanket. Her eyes watched the muscles in his jaw clench and unclench. She watched the skin on his face tense up with each movement of his jaw. She took in the bruising of his lips and the skin around them, knowing what would cause those kinds of marks and her heart ached for him. She noticed the red rope mark around his neck where his pale skin was terribly red. Franny's mind ran quickly through several emotions, but she was surprised to find that the strongest feeling she felt right this very moment for Ben was fierce protectiveness coupled with love. She glanced at the iron bar within her reach and knew she could kill.

They waited in silence for someone to come. Ray arrived first. The look on his face when he opened the door to the van was incredibly professional. But his eyes wore a horrified expression in them. Ray climbed up into the van and looked at Franny. He took in the iron rod by her feet and he could see the determined look on her face. Ray motioned Franny into the passenger seat with his head. "Don't touch anything if you can help it." He spit out at her. She glared back at him, but uncharacteristically for Franny, she kept quiet.

Ray put his head near Ben's, and put a protective but shaking hand on Ben's shoulder. "How ya doing?" he asked.

Ben turned his eyes to Ray. "I'm OK."

"Sure you are Benny."

"No, Ray. Really I'm OK."

They both turned their heads when they heard the sound of Dief's nails on the van floor as he crept up to Ben's chair and laid his head at Ben's feet.

Dief whined and looked straight up at Ben. "Dief, I'm OK, Really I am." The wolf whined again and lay still.

Ray took in a deep breath, "Ben, you gotta go back to the hospital. You understand?"

"Yes, Ray." Ben replied in monosyllabic tones and leaned over to pet Dief. The blanket fell away from Ben's shoulders and Ray could see the marks beginning to appear on Ben's arms and torso and the open zipper on Ben's trousers.

Ray looked away to avoid seeing more but when he looked down next to Ben's chair, he saw the remnants of the clothing that had been cut off of Ben. Tears filled Ray's eyes that he quickly wiped away before looking back at Ben. The sound of the ambulance Ray had called before coming to the site cut into Ray's thoughts.

"Ok, here we go. The ambulance is here and you gotta face these guys ok?"

"I know that Ray, Really, its OK."

Oblivious of the fact that Franny sat watching and listening, Ray stood up as much as he could in the minimal height of the van and put his arms around Ben and laid his head on Ben's shoulder. He gave Ben a quick hug.

"Ok, let's get the show on the road."

The EMT's opened the door quickly and motioned for Ray to climb out. The lady technician climbed in first, carrying a small case of equipment. Her male partner climbed in right behind her.

For all of Ben's outward calmness, he did panic a little when the female EMT began talking to him. He shut down just for a moment before answering her questions. His eyes sought out Franny's eyes. She moved closer to him when she saw the look he gave her. Smiling, she nodded and moved to crouch at the back of his chair. One of her small hands rested gently on the back of the chair but not touching Ben.

Franny looked up at the EMT's and listened as they began talking and going over Ben's injuries. They called the stats out to the ER via their radio and prepared Ben for transport. Franny called to Dief and held his harness as Ben was lifted out of his chair and placed on the gurney just outside the van doors. When they were rolling Ben away from the van, Franny climbed out and ran up to Ray.

"I know you have to stay here at the scene. Don't worry, I'm going with Ben." She handed Dief's harness leash over to Ray. "Could you bring Dief and Ben's chair in to the hospital. I'll call the house from there while they check Ben out."

Ray gave Franny a really direct look in the eyes. "OK, but call me if Ben needs me, OK"

Franny did little more than pat him on he shoulder before turning and running to the ambulance to get in with Ben.

Ray watched the ambulance pull away and looked down at Dief, "He's OK. He said he was OK."

Chapter 33

Ben lay on the examining table covered by a sheet. His trousers had been removed and a open-backed hospital gown was placed on him. One of the nurses had just finished taking pictures of Ben's bruises. Franny stuck her head into the cubicle around the privacy curtain. "Want some company while you wait,"

The smile Ben gave her drew her into the room. "I'm not going to break, you know. " But Franny noticed his smile didn't quite comfort her. She held out her hand and found his larger fingers gripping hers tightly. "I called the house. Ma won't tell Grandmere or Chase anything other than that we'll be late getting home. And Ray will be here as soon as he can." Franny noticed that his fingers squeezed hers tightly at the mention of Chase's name and that the grip of his hand tightened again when she said Ray's name. Franny didn't pull her hand back from the pain she felt when Ben squeezed her hand.

The curtain around Ben's gurney pulled back and a young doctor came in followed by a nurse. Franny rose and kissed the side of Ben's head before smiling at him and leaving. "I'll be right outside."

Ben closed his eyes but nodded at her remark and took a deep breath before looking the doctor square in the eyes.

Franny closed the curtain behind her and paced to stand just across the hall. She leaned into the wall, closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

The doctor began his examination of Ben quietly, taking in the bruising; the rope burns around his neck and the glint in Ben's eyes. The nurse handed him Ben's hospital chart, which included information about Ben's previous stay there. He glanced back and forth from the chart to Ben as he familiarized himself with some of the details.

"Anything you need before we begin this, Ben."

Ben shook his head. "Let's get this over with. I was riding in the outpatient handicap van. The man driving the van pulled it into an alley when I was the only patient on it and attacked me. He roped me to my chair, used a rope to hold my head back and cut of my oxygen supply. Then he began a series of movements intent on putting certain..a..er ...marks on my body as well as marking my face. He cut my clothing off, taunted me, told me not to testify against my previous assailant and left."

"Did he do anything else to you?"

Ben glared at the doctor, "I have said what happened, can we get this over with now?"

Handing the nurse the chart, the doctor moved over to the counter by the cubicle wall and took out a pair of rubber gloves. Turning back to Ben, "Lean back and relax, this shouldn't take too long." And he began checking each of Ben's bruises and abrasions.

In a few silence filled minutes, the doctor put his hand on Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry but in cases such as yours, I have to give you a thorough exam. If you will roll over, I will be as quick as I can."

Ben glared at him, but rolled over. The doctor saw no bruising up and down Ben's back and noted it on his chart. He did, however, see the marks around Ben's anus where something had obviously happened and recently. "Ben did your attacker try to force himself on you in a sexual way?"

Ben quickly replied. "No."

"What did he touch you with back here, Ben."

"I don't know." Ben replied tersely.

The doctor looked at the nurse and asked for a rape kit and serology testing.

Ben gritted his teeth and waited.

Chapter 34

Franny stepped closer to the curtains surrounding the examining area where Ben was being treated. She heard the doctor questioning Ben about the possibility of rape. She cringed but held her ground. She was still standing there when the doctor pulled the curtain back to reveal Ben lying on his back with a closed down and mutinous look on his face.

As the doctor started to walk away, Franny first gave a look at Ben and then followed the doctor down the hall. She caught up with the young man and grabbed his arm.

"Excuse me, I am a friend of Ben's. How is he?" She smiled her best Franny dazzle smile.

"Look, I really can't discuss this case, unless the patient releases the information."

"He's family doctor"

"And the relationship is???"

"Close doc, very close" Ray threw out as he walked up to hear part of the conversation. Dief was at his side and he was pushing Ben's chair. "We're all the family Benny has and if that's not enough, I'm the investigating officer on this case. Capiche."

The doctor looked from one set of Vecchio eyes to the other as they bored holes in his with their stares. "He's got bruises and cuts on his skin. He wasn't raped, but it looks as if some kind of foreign object was forced into him. He's complaining of muscle weakness in his legs and we're running some blood tests and a rape test kit to see what the object might have been. He seems amazingly together for what's he's just been through. I'd advise you to take him home and don't ask too many questions. Does he have a counselor?"

"Yea, Dr. McBride here at the hospital, she's making a first home visit tomorrow."

"Ok, I'll be sure she gets a copy of the chart. If he needs anything, call. But my suspicion is he's not going to ask for a thing." The doctor heard his name over the PA system and turned to leave.

Franny and Ray stood by themselves in the corridor, dark concerned eyes staring into brightly hued concerned green eyes. "Yea, I know. It sucks" Ray said and began pushing Ben's chair down the hall.

Chapter 35

Ben waited from them dressed in hospital scrubs the nurse had brought him. He stared at the ceiling above him.

Dief ran into the cubicle and stood up to lick Ben's hand. "I said I was OK. Didn't I?" Ben gave the wolf a rough pet on the neck and grasped the warm fur with his hand. Ben sat up as Ray pushed the wheelchair up next to the gurney. "They're releasing you Ben. Got the papers right here in my pocket. So what da ya say we blow this joint. Ok Benny."

"Sounds good to me, Ray." Ben sat up and with excruciating slowness began sliding his legs towards the side of the bed. Sweat broke out on his forehead but he waved Ray away when Ray leaned over to help him. "I've got to do some of it on my own Ray."

So Ray backed off and let Ben right himself to a sitting position ready to step onto his feet. Ben smiled at Ray, "Thanks, now if you could help me to the chair, we can leave."

A half hour later the trio got out of Ray's car in the Vecchio driveway. Dief bounded out after them and waited for Ben to grab his harness leash. Franny noticed that Ray had had her car returned to the house. She smiled to herself at how flawlessly Ray did some things. They entered a nearly silent house. Ray reached towards his shoulder holster, Franny stepped closer to Ben and the three of them listened. Dief whined and bounded off towards the kitchen. He returned followed by Ma Vecchio. She took in the faces of three of the people she loved most in the world and hurried to met them.

"I sent them all out for pizza. No body questioned me." She looked right into Ray's eyes. "I told them the three of you were going out. Just Grandmere and I are here and she doesn't know what happened."

"Thanks Ma."

Ben took her hand and held it softly in his. "Thank you" he whispered.

Franny leaned down to Ben. "I'll go start a bath for you." She her leg and called Dief to her. The two of them went quietly down the hall.

Ben and Ray told the shortened version of what happened to Mrs. Vecchio. She watched both of them closely as they talked. She saw the fresh bruising around Ben's mouth and neck. Her impulse was to take him into her arms and hold on to him forever, but she knew he would resist that. So she stood her ground and tried not to cry for her three children.

Franny came back to tell them Ben's bath was ready. She leaned down and kissed Ben's hair and quietly left the room. Ray watched her in silence. Franny sure was acting a lot more mature and reserved lately. Ray had to admit the new Franny was attractive. He watched her leave. Ben began rolling his chair towards the hall. "Ray could you help me into the bath in a few minutes." He left Ray standing next to his mother. She pulled Ray into her arms and held him while he cried.

Chapter 36

Ben had removed the hospital scrubs quickly and roughly thrown them to the floor. He heard the door open behind him as Ray stepped inside the bathroom. Ben looked over his shoulder and saw Ray standing behind him with ill concealed tears in his eyes.

"I'm Ok Ray."

"Stop with that shit, will you. Look in the mirror Ben. Those are bruises and rope burns on you. You do that to yourself. You ask someone to do it to you." Ray was almost yelling at Ben. His voice rose and fell like a roller coaster.

"Ray.."

Ben's words were cut off as Ray leaned down, put his hands on the wheelchair and turned it quickly to face him. "Let's get you in the bath." And the next few minutes were taken up with the work of getting Ben settled into the warm water.

"Geesh Ben. You've got marks all over you." He ran a finger over some of them as if in a caress. His fingers stopped moving over the bruises Franny had inflicted on Ben when she pulled him up out of the water in the tub.

Ben sucked in his breath, he hoped Ray wouldn't notice that those bruises were older than the others. He'd promised Franny and he didn't want to break that promise.

Ray leaned over and brought his face close to Ben's. "Benny, I can't take this much longer. How can you?"

"I take it because I have to Ray. I can't change what happened to me. But I can go on. "

"You shouldn't have to take this crap Benny."

Ben's breathing sounded in the room as he took a deep breath. "Before I came here, I was alone. I had no one. No family. It was just Dief and I. But we came here and found you and your family. I'm more grateful for finding you than I can say Ray."

Ray ran his eyes over every inch of Ben's face taking in the pale skin, the deep blue of Ben's eyes. He longed to kiss away the bruises around Ben's mouth. He wanted to run his fingers through Ben's curly hair. He wanted to hold Ben, breath in the scent of his skin. He wanted kiss every place on Ben that had been hurt. He wanted to take Ben's heart and give it back to him filled with love.

Ben saw the expression on Ray's face and became embarrassed by it. He began scrubbing his body with soap, paying particular attention to all the new bruises. Ray watched him in silence noting how each bruise was thoroughly washed before Ben cleansed the next one. When Ben began cleaning the marks Franny had put on his skin, he cleaned them softly almost reverently. Ray noticed the difference and wondered about them.

"Benny why are you washing those bruises differently?" Ray finally had to ask.

Ben gave him a mutinous look and refused to answer him.

"Benny, who did that to you?" Ray asked harshly. "Those bruises are older than the others, aren't they?" Still no answer came from Ben. "Ben you've got to tell me. Talk to me Ben." He yelled.

"I can't Ray. It would be breaking a promise. I won't do that."

They stared at each other, but it was Ray who finally gave up staring at Ben's stubborn eyes. Ray grabbed the towel and reached into the tub to pull the plug. He had never handled Ben roughly since Ben had come to live with the family. Not once in his life had he handled anyone in his home roughly. But this night, as soon as the water was out of the tub he grabbed at Ben's shoulders and hauled him up brusquely up and physically hauled him over the tub's edge. Turning Ben he let his fingers grind into Ben's skin over the same area Franny's fingers had left bruises. Then he almost literally dropped Ben into his chair and after glaring at Ben opened the door to the bathroom.

"I'll be back in a few minutes to help you into bed."

"Ray." Ben began only to have Ray harshly whisper, "NOT one word, not one. You got it Ben." He slammed the door on his way out, leaving Ben alone to dry off and dress.

Chapter 37

Ray entered his room slamming his door behind him. He drew off his clothing quickly throwing it all down on his bed. He dragged his dresser drawer open roughly. Taking out a pair of pj's he dressed quickly and grabbing his robe, left his room.

Ray stalked up to Franny's door in the worst of moods. He rapped harshly on her door, "Franny get out here."

Franny opened the door quickly a harsh retort ready held in check by her sight of how agitated Ray was as he stood outside her room. She turned and grabbed her robe and drawing it on went out into the hall with him. Ray grabbed her tiny hand in his and literally dragged her down the steps to the den downstairs. He shut the door behind them with a snap.

"Franny, has Ben had any visitors that you know of other than our group of friends or family."

Franny gave him a puzzled look. "Ray, Ben doesn't have that many friends that know us. And no, Ma hasn't mentioned that he or Grandmere have had any unusual visitors."

Ray thrust his head back, pulled his shoulders in tight and began to pace the room.

"Ray, your scaring, me what's wrong."

He looked at his sister and wondered if he should tell her his suspicions or not. His desire for safety for Ben won out. "Franny, he's got marks on him that weren't put there today. He's got bruises on his shoulders and he won't tell me how they got there." Ray slammed one of his fists into the other.

Franny smirked, then laughed. She began to laugh uncontrollably and fell into the desk chair still laughing.

Ray couldn't believe it, she was laughing, Ben was in danger and she was laughing. Maybe she wasn't so mature after all.

Franny stopped laughing when she saw Ray turning red faced. "Ray, I gave Ben those marks." She snickered into her hand.

Ray lost all sense of reason and grabbed Franny by the shoulders. "What do you mean, you gave those marks to him. You!"

"Yes, me."

" You what!" Ray screamed right into her face. "I don't believe it."

"Well, its true." She shouted right back at him. "I went into the bathroom down here yesterday without checking. You know how I walk around the house with my nose in a magazine sometimes." Franny watched Ray's eyes as they grew larger and larger in their sockets and climbed out of her chair to stand next to him. "Ben was bathing but he had dropped low into the water so that his head was covered and he wasn't moving." Franny began to lose her voice and was whispering, "I got scared and grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him up out of the water. It was embarrassing."

Ray screamed right into her face. "I don't believe it."

"Well, it's the truth. Ben won't tell you because I asked him not tell anyone and he's to chivalrous to break a promise to a lady. I knew you'd be mad."

"You couldn't have made those marks, Franny. Those marks are deep."

"I know they are, I was scared. All I could think of was that he was drowning." She fluttered her eyelashes down across suddenly tear filled eyes. "I couldn't stand that Ray. I couldn't take it if Ben died." She let her hands grasp his robe and twisted her fingers into the material

"I don't believe you Franny, who was here and who did that to Benny." Ray pushed her away from him till she almost fell down. "Your lying, Franny."

"Ray, why would I lie to you."

Because you'd do anything to draw Ben into your little net sis, that's why"

"I know Ben doesn't know that I really love him, Ray. How could he, I've been so foolish in so many ways around him. But I 'd protect him with my life, Ray. And I'm telling you the truth." Franny was again raising her voice, trying in some way to get her brother's attention.

Franny watched Ray begin pacing in the small den area. He stopped and grabbed her shoulders again. "Tell me the truth. Franny, you got to tell me the truth." He words were full of jealousy. "You couldn't lift Ben if you tried Franny, so who was it. What creep came into my home and hurt Benny."

"You're a fool, Ray. It was me, ask Ben. I'll tell him to tell you the truth." She watched him pace away from her. She put her hands to her mouth and sank into the desk chair. "Oh my god."

"What, now you're swearing, on top of lying." The words came out of his mouth harshly; when all he wanted to do was believe her, believe Ben.

"You love him too, don't you Ray." The words came out of her mouth in a rush. Franny's tear filled eyes sought her brother's. But he wouldn't look at her. "Ray, tell me. You love him too, don't you?" Franny's voice became louder.

They stood in shocked silence for a minute, both regretting the entire conversation. Franny rose from her chair and went to stand by Ray. Laying her hand on his arm, she started to lay her head on his shoulder. Ray pulled away from her and went to the door of the den. He looked back to see her tear streaked face watching him closely, as if she waited for any reason to run to him and hug him to her.

Ray turned away from her and opened the door. Ben sat there outside the door in his chair, his face deathly pale. Ben raised a hand towards Ray, silently pleading him to stay. Ray looked back at Franny and then at Ben. He pushed past Ben knocking him over in his chair. Ray ran through the hall and up the stairs. They heard his bedroom door slam.

Ben dropped his head into his hands to cover his tears from Franny. When he finally looked up, Franny was kneeling in front of him, crying as hard as he was. Franny tugged him away from his chair and righted it. They sat there in silence until they heard the slamming of the front door and the Riv starting up. Franny placed one of her hands over one of Ben's. She looked into his face and gently cupped his chin with her free hand.

"What am I going to do Franny. What. I love both of you, but I love you each differently." His voice was harsh and ragged to match his breathing. "What are we going to do?"

Franny placed her head along side of his so their foreheads met and she could look into his agonized eyes. "I don't know Ben, I don't know."

Chapter 38

Ben and Franny sat on the floor with their arms entwined about each other, their foreheads touching. Tears streamed down both their faces. Ben pulled Franny closer to him and gently positioned her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his left arm about her shoulders and began gently brushing his fingers through her hair. He felt protective of her, in a way he had never felt for another woman in his life. He held her to him tightly as if he could erase the previous half hour of their lives. She was so small and yet she had pulled him out of the water in the tub quickly and efficiently. She was strong when she had to be, he had the bruises to prove it. He knew that she loved to tantalize him and tease him. He'd always been embarrassed by her teasing, but it was starting to make some kind of weird sense to him. It was her way of making him notice her, of getting his attention. He was well aware of the fact that so many women threw themselves in his way. His best defense had been just to ignore them. But he had never been able to ignore Franny. She made sure she was outrageous enough to get his attention. He'd just never been sure if she was really serious about him. She reminded him of a lioness, fierce and strong when needed to be, and he needed her strength and he needed to protect her, as he knew she needed to protect him. He drew her closer and brushed her hair with his fingers.

Ma Vecchio drew closer to the forms sitting in the dark. She leaned over and turned on the table light. Two dark heads of curly hair looked up at her, four tear-filled eyes blinked away their tears. She knelt down beside them and touched each of their faces gently with the lightest of touches.

"I heard all the yelling. What happened?" She glanced from one pair of eyes to the other.

"Oh Ma." Franny burst into a new round of tears.

Ma pulled Franny over to her and held her tightly in her arms. When it seemed that Franny was done crying, she put one of her hands out for Ben to take. Rising to her feet, Franny turned Ben's chair and set the lock on the wheels. "Ma, help me get Ben into his chair."

Franny and her mother looked down at Ben. Ben shook his head at them. "No, I'm too heavy for you two to lift. Please ask Tony for help."

"You really want Tony here right now." Franny asked.

"No, that's not my first choice. But he can lift me easier than you can."

"Ok, I'll go get him."

Franny brought Tony back quickly and with a minimum of fuss and embarrassment Ben was back in his chair. Franny and her mother let Tony take Ben to his room and get him settled for the night. Franny went in to Ben's room after Tony left. She stood looking down at him and smiled uncertainly at him. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek while she lovingly touched the other side of his face. Ben sighed in contentment and taking her hand in his brought it to his mouth and kissed it.

"We'll talk in the morning, Ok Ben." Franny managed to say in a breathless whisper.

"We most certainly will." Ben replied with drooping eyelids.

Franny left the room after turning out the lights. She stood outside his door just looking down at the hand he had kissed. She just knew sleep wouldn't come easy tonight.

Chapter 39

The figure moved in the darkened room until it stood over the man in the bed. Light from the room's huge window settled over the face of the sleeping man. His dark curly hair brushed across his forehead. The watcher put out a hand and gently pushed back the hair. The man in the bed moaned and moved around in his sleep. Stealthily the figure in the coat leaned over and kissed the sleeping man's forehead before moving to the large, overstuffed chair in the corner and settling there. The light from the window fell ungently across the watcher's face, his olive skin full of shadows. The watcher put his head back against the chair and let out the softest of sighs. His eyes closed to slits as he watched the sleeper in the bed.

Ben stilled his body; he had heard the bedroom door opening. He lay as still as he could not knowing who was entering the room. Waiting was the worst for him, but then he smelled Ray's cologne and relaxed with a sigh. He was determined not to move unless Ray said something. He was just too exhausted for any more confrontations. He knew when Ray touched his hair and kissed him. He knew when Ray settled in the chair. He knew the morning light would bring a much safer time to talk to Ray about what was happening. Ben drifted back to sleep slowly accepting the sounds of Ray's breathing in his room.

The sun was just beginning to trail it's purple and pink shadows into the first hour of the morning. The change in light struck through the window of the room onto the faces of the two sleepers. Neither moved at first, but the sun's rays soon hit the eyes of the man in chair waking him harshly. He woke and stretched waking to see the man in the bed still sleeping. He rose quietly and picked up his coat intending to leave the room without being seen. The man in the bed heard the swish of the coat as it was picked up and turned his head to look the man who was his friend standing in his room.

"Ray, don't go." Ben whispered and held out a hand.

Ray stopped and jerked his shoulders backwards towards Ben. He turned and quietly went to stand by the bed. "Why, haven't I hurt you enough."

"You haven't hurt me. You're the one hurting Ray, I know that."

"Sure, you hear your best friend fighting with his sister over you every day of your life right. I'm so embarrassed. I can't stand it Ben. That's why I flew out of here last night. I couldn't let you know how much I hurt."

"We can't help who we love Ray. "

"Yea, well I'm scared Ben, Scared of what I might do to you. Scared that you'll hate me. Hell, Benny, I'm just plain scared. This is new territory for me." Ray said still ignoring Ben's held out hand.

"I know that Ray." Ben said as he dropped his hand back onto the bed. "I also know you love Franny and I. "

"Oh God, Franny. I was so mean to her just to try and hide my feelings about you."

"Sit down Ray." Ben said patting the side of his bed.

"You don't want me to do that Ben."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. I don't trust myself around you anymore Ben. So how can you trust me."?

"I trust you because you're my friend, Ray."

Ray sat reluctantly down on the bed but on it's edge as if the comforter could burn him.

"We've got to talk Ray. We can't let this ruin our friendship."

"Yea, Friendship" Ray snickered.

"Ray, I mean it. I won't lose you." Ben ground out through clenched teeth. "I need you."

Ray dropped his coat on the floor and suddenly loomed over Ben, his face almost touching Ben's. "I need you too, Ben. And what will you do when what I need makes you sick. Tell me that." Green eyes glared into blue eyes that never wavered.

"I still trust you Ray." Ben whispered.

"God, Benny. You shouldn't. " Ray put his hand on Ben's face and quickly brushed Ben's lips with his own. "You shouldn't trust me." He whispered when he broke off the kiss.

Ben tried not to pull back, but his head pushed deeper into the pillows to escape Ray's searching lips.

Ray put his hand on Ben's chest and rubbed over one of Ben's nipples. "And will you have the nerve to tell me to stop, Ben. Or will you let me do whatever I want to you. Will you say No Ben? You said no to those creeps who raped you Ben and they didn't stop. Can you say No to me."? He kissed Ben's lips again. "Can you say no to me and still trust me to stop. Can you Ben."

Ben lifted his right hand and pushed Ray away from him. "Yes, I can. No, Ray. I say No. And not because I don't love you, because I do, but I love Franny too."

"God, you think I don't know that. I know you care about her. Hell you've taken enough of her antics to make 10 men run, but you still talk nice to her and you still watch her when no one is watching. I know you care about her. But I care about you too and not just as a brother or future brother-in-law. What am I going to do about that."?

"I don't know Ray, but if you leave now how will we settle this between us. How will Franny and I deal with it? The three of us have to deal with this Ray. No just you."

"I'm not sure if I can Benny. I wouldn't want to share you. What if you're asking too much of me."

"I don't think I am Ray."

"Oh yea, How do you know that." And with that Ray grasped Ben's head in both of his hands and began to kiss Ben again with a slow persistence that amazed him in its gentleness. But he noticed that Ben was not returning the kiss.

Ray broke away from the kiss and straightened up to see the tears forming in Ben's eyes. "See, I told you not to trust me." He got up and left the room.

Franny heard the front door shut as she went down the stairs. She went to Ben's room and knocked. Crossing to the bed, she saw Ben's face filled with tears. She rushed to him and gathered him up into her arms. He flung his arms around her, holding her tightly to him. "Ray was here."

Franny kissed his hair and his eyes and whispered, "I know, I heard the door as he left."

"What are we going to do Francesca? What?"

"We wait Ben, we wait."

Chapter 40

Ray drove as fast as he could to the precinct and parked his car. Flinging the door open, he got out, stood up and stretched. God what a day he thought as he walked into the building. Maybe he could take channel some of his feelings by working on Benny's case. Look for new leads, anything. He marched in to his desk and threw his coat over the back of his chair. He sat down and started poring over the files again for about the thousandth time since Ben's disappearance. He picked up the latest hospital reports and then began reading them. About a half hour after Ray had arrived at his desk, he grabbed several files and took them to Welsh's office.

The Lieutenant listened to Ray as he babbled on about chemical companies and who owned in them. But the Lieutenant knew Ray was making some sense, so he picked up the phone and began the paperwork for a warrant. Ray left his bosses' office with a very pleased look on his face. The look on Ray's face changed when he realized he would now have to go back by the house.

Grandmere and Chase were sitting the breakfast table when Ray returned and entered the kitchen through the back door. Ma, as usual was at the counter. Ray gave her a hug and a kiss then sat at the table opposite Grandmere. Ray pulled some papers out his coat pocket and laid them on the table, never taking his eyes off of Grandmere.

Chase watched Ray with eyes that shifted back and forth between his Grandmere and Ray. Something in the atmosphere kept the child from his usual high-spirited outburst of joy that he exhibited whenever he was around Ray. Chase was normally a noisy child; his childish intuition was keeping him silent.

Ray cleared his throat, "There's no easy way to ask this Mam, so I'll just ask, is that OK with you?"

Grandmere settled back into her chair, her shoulders lifted in a very taught and upright position. "Ask Ray. I will answer any questions I can. I presume this has something to do with Benton?"

Nodding, Ray picked up two of the papers he had brought in and gave them to her. "Those are papers regarding drug research being done at the laboratory named on the other paper. Did Michelle own any stock in that company, or do you?"

"I own stock in that company, a rather large portion of stock. Michelle owned some of the stock also. But what does this mean?"

"It means that Michelle had access through her contact with the company to obtain experimental drugs. Did she visit the company or spend time there. Do you know who her contacts were there?"

"I never knew where Michelle went on some of her business trips. But yes, it is possible that she had contact within the company. However, it's not as easy as it might seem to gain access to experimental drugs."

"I know that Mam. But given her involvement here, I think this needs to be checked out. Thanks for answering my questions." He watched the old woman's eyes fill with sadness. But there was nothing he could about that; he had enough problems of his own.

Ray turned to Chase, "Hey, guy. How you doing today?"

Chase decided everything was back to normal and smiled brightly at Ray. "Great. Grandmere is taking me shopping this afternoon. Going to get some gifts for papa."

Ray gulped in a big breath of air, "Hey, that's great. You listen to your Grandmere, OK. She loves you." He smiled at the old woman, rose from his chair and went to his mother. He hugged her and then left the room, headed down the hall, towards Ben's room.

The two women in the kitchen exchanged anguished looks, but said not a word.

Chapter 41

Ben sat in his wheelchair looking out the window into the beautifully flowered garden. Franny sat on the arm of the overstuffed chair next to him, her arm resting on the arm of his chair. Their bodies leaned close to each other, but weren't touching. The sun glinted off their dark hair as it threw shadows of their forms onto the wall next to them. Their shadows were entwined, heads together.

Ray opened the door after knocking softly. The site of his sister and Ben brought a lump to his throat. He nearly choked on his tears and turned around and left them. But he pulled himself together and advanced into the room making as much noise as he could without outright shouting to them. They turned their heads towards him at the same time and both of their faces lit up with bright welcoming smiles.

Franny rose from her chair and ran to Ray to envelop him in a hug. Ben turned his chair and rolled over to Ray. Ray looked down at Ben over Franny's shoulder with tears in his eyes. Ray put out his hand for Ben to take. Ben grasped it and held on as if he would never let Ray go.

"Ben, I'm sorry." Ray began in a hushed tone. "I can't get through this on my own. I know that."

Franny stepped up on tiptoe and kissed Ray's face. "WE can't get through this without you. Don't walk out on us again. OK. " She reached back to place her hand on top of Ray and Ben's clasped hands. "Together, the three of us."

"We need each other, Ray." Ben added quietly. "I need you both. This isn't easy for me to say. I.need.Ray. I need both of you. I love both of you."

"Yea, but which one do you need the most, Ben. Can you answer that?" Ray said in a slightly mean sounding tone. "Which one do you love the most?"

Franny made an exasperated sound, "This isn't a contest Ray. Can't you see this is killing us as much as it is killing you?"

Ray gave a harsh laugh. "Yea, I walk in here and there the two of you are, sitting like a pair of lovebirds in a cage by the window. Do you know how that makes me feel, do you Franny?"

Ray pushed away from them and walked over to face the window, his back towards them. "All my life, I've wanted something special. Ya know. I thought maybe with Irene Zuko I was gonna finally get something special. Then I lost her. I've come close finding it at other times, but it always slips right threw my fingers. You were younger than me Franny, you don't remember how it was in this place. Ma always had all the walls painted white, with beautiful curtains with light always streaming in the windows. The furniture was always polished. The floors sparkling clean. But when dad was around there wasn't any light here for me Franny. Not one ray of light seemed to shine here just for me. Dad was either drunk or working. Then when he was here he was always yelling at me. I couldn't do anything right Franny. Do you know what it's like to find you dad passed out on the bathroom floor four nights out of seven? Do you Franny? Ma always made sure you girls didn't hear the things that went on here. She protected you. Who protected me, Franny. Who?"

Both Franny and Ben remained still, their hands not quite touching as they watched the man they both loved tearing himself apart.

"I used to sneak out at night Franny, did you know that. When I was in high school, dad never knew how many nights I wasn't in this frigging house. It was better just to not be here, ya know." Ray turned to look at them, his eyes took in their almost touching hands and he turned back to the window. "I can't do that anymore Franny. I either have to be here, be accepted for what I am or I'm gonna have to leave for good."

Franny quietly walked up to Ray and placed her hand on his sleeve. "What you are is my brother, Ray. I love you and I always will. You think I don't know about the stuff that went on here. I knew some of it, I just never talked about it. I was proud of you Ray. You never let dad squash you. You stood up to him. You never heard the fight he and Ma had over your entry into the academy. But I did. Ma stood up for you so proudly. Told the old man he would have to live with what you were doing or without all of us. Surprised the hell out of me for sure. But we all love you Ray. We need you. Ben needs you. I need you."

Ray's expression filled with self-hatred as he glared at Franny then Ben. "Hasn't Ben told you about me, Franny. Didn't he tell you?"

Franny looked at Ben questioningly. "Told me what, Ray. What should Ben have told me? That you're a good man, Ray. That you help people. What Ray. What is so horrible about you that I'm gonna stop loving you. Tell me?"

"Didn't Benny tell you that I attacked him, forced kisses on him. Didn't he tell you that I'm gay, Franny." Ray watched her face. "God, he didn't tell you, did he? Didn't he tell you that he can't trust me? Didn't he!"

Franny looked into her brother's eyes with tears streaming down her face. Ben rolled his chair up to be by both of them. "Ray, he didn't tell me. He didn't have to, I knew. I was outside that door this morning Ray. I heard everything. Ok. I heard and if it doesn't matter to Ben, it doesn't matter to me. We love you. Can't you get it through your thick, Italian macho head? We love you."

Ben put his hands on the arms of his chair and began to lever himself up. He grabbed at Ray's arm and used Ray's body weight to stabilize him as he stood. Looking Ray right in the eyes he said. "I knew too Ray. I always knew, but I somehow sensed that you hadn't made up your mind about yourself yet. But whichever way you are Ray, I love you. You Ray, I love you. Not an image of what I think you are, but you. The man who watches out for me at work, the man who feeds jelly donuts to my wolf. The man who sat for three weeks in a hospital while I recovered from a gun shot. The man who carried me through the woods on his back and gave up his water for me. I love the man who loves my son as much as I do. I may not love you the way you want me to Ray. But I do love you with all my heart. I will always be your friend."

Franny reached up and put her hands on Ray's face as Ben talked. "Listen to him Ray, please listen."

Chapter 42

The three of them stood in Ben's room looking at each other. Ben swayed and began falling away from Ray. Franny grabbed at him and was able to keep him from falling, but it took Ray's hands to reach out and give Ben total support. Ray lowered Ben back into his chair. Franny put her hand on Ray's arm. "We need you. Don't forget that. OK."

Ray's cell phone chose that moment to ring. He was grateful for a reason to turn away and answer it. "Damn" he said into the phone as he closed it.

"Well, we won't get any info from that guy. They found the car the attacker drove yesterday, Benny. But the driver was dead."

Ben's throat pulsed as he swallowed. Franny grabbed his hand and rubbed the back of it. Ray pretended not to notice as he placed his cell phone back in his pocket. "But the good news is I did turn up another lead today on the drugs they used on Ben." Ray knelt down to Ben's face level. "Ain't any easy way to say this. Grandmere owns stock in the company that might be working with those drugs. Michelle owned stock in the company too and probably had direct access through some poor schlub she made a friend out of there."

"Grandmere wasn't in on it, Ray."

"I don't think so either, but I gotta check out all the leads, ya know."

Franny moved a little away from the two men to give them space. "Ray, Dr. McBride is coming to see Ben this morning. Why don't you stay?"

"Great, now you want me seeing a shrink." Ray's voice rose in anger. "You think that's gonna change anything. Hell, I oughta thank her for how I feel right now.?"

Both Franny and Ben exchanged looks and shrugged their shoulders at each other. Ray flopped in the overstuffed chair and put his head in his hands. "Look. I've been seeing the lady since Benny came back to us. This whole thing has been too much for me and I needed to know what I could do to help Ben. Some help I am. I'm making everything worse."

"Basta! Caro, how can you say that, how can you be so cruel to yourself." Mrs. Vecchio said from the door to Ben's room. "You're a good son, caro and a good friend." She entered the room and stood behind Ben, putting her hands on his chair.

"Ma you don't know nothing about this. And I can't tell you." Ray said.

"You think a mother doesn't know her own son, her daughter. You think I don't know the boy I have taken to my heart as my own son." She said putting her hands on Ben's shoulders. "The prayers I have said that this day should never happen. I've know since the day Benton stepped through that door, that this day was coming. I came to love him, gentle soul that he is and I knew he would rather die than hurt either one of my bambinos. So this is how you will repay him. You throw guilt on his shoulders. Raymundo, caro. Your sister means it when she says she loves and needs you. Benton means it when he says he loves and needs you."

"Ma, you don't know...you can't.." Ray turned away from her as if by doing so he was shielding her from the truth.

She stepped around Ben's chair and folded Ray into her arms. "Caro, I know. I know. I've always known."

"Ma."

"Sh.. Your poppa couldn't deal with that side of himself, so he drank himself to death. You don't have to do that caro. You are a stronger man than your poppa."

"Ma, I'm gay, not a drunk."

"I know that caro, I know."

Chapter 43

Brianna McBride opened the file on her desk. This case just got more complicated by the minute she thought as she read through her case notes.

1. Interview with Margaret Thatcher, Inspector, RCMP. Strong, authoritative, workaholic, career oriented Bree had written of the woman. However, Bree had found the inspector to be unsure of herself where Ben Fraser was concerned. She had used words like strong, stoic, stubborn, surprising, and sometimes downright stupid in describing Ben. But overall, her opinion of Ben Fraser was that of a good worker, steadfast, even brilliant. Bree noticed that there might be something between two people, but noted that inspector seemed quite sure she was in control of whatever situation existed. Strange woman thought Bree.
2. Interview with Lieutenant Welsh of the 27th Precinct. Tough man who expected a lot from those around him. Used words like: polite, patient, persistent, polished, pragmatic and totally off the wall to describe Benton Fraser. Stated that for all the strange ways Fraser might have of doing things, he was a good officer, the best in fact. Welsh was glad to have him attached as liaison to his department.
3. Interview with Vecchio, Ray. Good detective by account given by Lt. Welsh. Somewhat insecure man who was just finding out some rather delicate things about himself. Stated that Fraser was, loyal, steadfast, surprisingly intelligent, a little bit on the strange side, admired by almost everyone, and a great police officer, but said Benton often rushed into things before looking. Perhaps will need more counseling on his own behalf.
4. Interview with Vecchio, Francesca. Seemingly flighty woman, who nevertheless has a good head on her shoulders. Obviously in love with Benton Frazer. Used words like strong, caring, capable, warm, intelligent, gentle, chivalrous and elusive to describe Benton Fraser. Then the woman sighed and added "add terribly handsome to all of the above." With a laugh. After much discussion seems to have overall good idea of Benton's personality.
5. Interview with Marie Caroline Pinset DuRoche, known as Grandmere. Gentle old sole who lovingly describes Benton Fraser as the boy, the young man who is related to me. Mentioned that she had had an eye on Benton until 10 years ago when she lost track of him. Stated that he was the son of her favorite nice Caroline Pinset who had married Robert Fraser. Seems to want what is best for Benton.
6. Interview with Chase Metcalf Fraser. Adorable little boy who loves his father very much. Chase seems to have had a normal childhood so far despite the fact that his mother died when he hardly a year old and his father was not around until recently. Credit his Grandmere for that thought Bree. Child seems to think he papa can do anything and can't wait for him to be walking and playing with him, Bright child, aware of what is going on around him.
7. Interview with Mrs. Vecchio. Lovely family oriented woman who is deeply religious and believes that bad things can be overcome with a lot of prayer. Describes Benton as an additional son, who is loving, caring, helpful, willing to do for others before himself. Mrs. Vecchio seems worried about Benton, but wouldn't say what was bothering her.

Bree closed the file, well I guess, its now or never she sighed to herself and picking up her briefcase put her notebooks and papers inside. She grabbed her coat off her coat rack and left for her appointment with Benton Fraser.

Chapter 44

Franny and Ben sat in the kitchen watching Chase help Ma and Grandmere as they were making a pie. Ben was still amazed at how his little family seemed to slip right into the Vecchio family. He watched Chase as any indulgent parent would, proud of his little son's manners and accomplishments. The doorbell rang and Ben pushed back from the table in a rush. Franny put her hand on his shoulder, "I'll get it. Relax."

Ben quickly rolled down the main hall towards the bathroom, rolled in and checked out his appearance. He turned his head this way and that trying to see if any hairs were out of place. Dief had followed him and stood in the door. Dief gave a long errffff and lay down.

"What do you mean it's impossible to do anything with it?" Ben said as he looked directly at the wolf. "Really, if you can't say something nice, be quiet." Ben shrugged his shoulders irritatingly and rolled out the door making Dief give way to him. The wolf trotted along behind him, tongue hanging out with a wolfish smile on his face.

Franny was talking to Dr. McBride in the front hall when Ben rolled up. Franny suggested they meet in the den, and lead the way there. Ben rolled along behind them, shushing Dief all the way.

Once they were in the room, Franny smiled at Ben and left closing the door behind her. Ben felt nervous and knew his palms were beginning to sweat.

Bree smiled as she sat in one of the room's comfortable chairs. She set her briefcase down but didn't bother to open it. "How are you doing, Ben? You're looking much better than the last time we visited."

"Thank you." Ben replied ignoring her first question.

"The Vecchio's have a lovely home." She said casually.

"Yes, they do."

"Are you feeling stronger, now?"

"Yes."

She watched his eyes as they looked down at his hands, which he held clasped in his lap. He suddenly straightened himself up and looked her straight in the eye. He's not going to budge an inch, is he, she thought to herself? She glanced around the room looking for something she could comment on, to try and relax him. His face was becoming flushed but he made no other signs of wanting to communicate to her. She finally thought, I'm just going to have to jump in at the deep end.

"I received last nights report from the hospital Ben."

"I thought you might have," he said simply, without emotion.

"Anything you want to add that might not be in the report? "

"No Mam."

"You're holding yourself in pretty tight, Ben. How do you feel today."?

Ben looked away from her to a spot somewhere over her shoulder. But didn't answer her.

"I thought we could talk Ben. " Bree settled her long, blonde hair over her shoulder and leaned back into the chair. "I have a half hour Ben. Is this how we're going to spend it?"

"Mam?"

"Well, you don't seem to want to talk. Don't you want to talk Ben?"

"I a....it's hard for me. I'm not very a hum good at discussing my er a feelings." Ben said in almost a stammer.

"Ok, then lets find something we can talk about. OK. I know your son lives here. How are you two getting along?"

Ben became more animated and smiled a genuine smile. His eyes brightened and his smile widened. "Chase is quite a happy and active child. He's becoming a great part of my life."

Wow, Bree thought two whole sentences and no stuttering. "I've met your son, Ben. He's quite charming. "How has Chase adjusted to the Vecchio home."?

"Chase has adjusted well considering he's been a single child."

"He's had no problems adjusting to all the noise I imagine goes on here during the day. I believe Mrs. Vecchio said her daughter Maria and her family life here too."

"No Chase has adapted quite well, both he and his puppy are doing well here," Ben said. "And I do think all the noise in this house is good from him. He hasn't had a chance to realize how much things have changed.

"How do you feel about the noise Ben?"

"My room is downstairs here, so it's much quieter than on the upper levels in the evening."

"How have things changed for you Ben, now that you are living here with the Vecchio's?"

"I'm not alone."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing, Ben?"

"Good."

Oh here we go, right back to the one word answers. Bree sighed in her mind. "Good in what way?"

Ben looked mutinous and turned away from her. "You know you can walk for miles in the territories and not see another living thing. And when it snows most of the time the only footprints you see anywhere are ones you made yourself. You could fall down a crevasse there and they might never find you. People have been found years after being lost, frozen in the ice. Makes an interesting study for anthropologists."

"Are you afraid of being alone and lost Ben?"

He still didn't look her in the eyes, but continued, "I used to love that feeling of being the only one in the area for miles around."

"What about now?"

He didn't answer at all. He just sat there looking incredibly good in his jogging outfit, elbows on his chair arms wringing the hell out of his hands.

Bree could see his eyes clouding up, but saw his jaw setting at the same time. The muscles of his jaw clenched fiercely, his lips didn't move.

"You feel protected here, don't you Ben?" She smiled at him. "That's one of the nice things about families. They protect each other."

"I, a..." Ben obviously couldn't speak.

"Tell you what, Ben. This is just our first meeting and since we're going to be meeting for sometime. Why don't we just spend some time getting to know each other a little bit. OK?"

Ben nodded gratefully and let out the breath he had been holding. A tear slid down his face and he brushed it away quickly, hoping she had not seen it.

Ben and Bree talked for a few more minutes and then she made an appointment time for their next visit. She picked up her things and went to the door of the room. "You can stay in here for a bit if you want Ben. I know my way out." He nodded gratefully and she left.

Franny met her by the door and looked at Bree's face questioningly.

"He's not gonna make this easy is he?" Bree asked of Franny.

"Easy ain't the Fraser way." Franny replied.

Chapter 45

It was nearly lunchtime as Dr. McBride was leaving the Vecchio home. She hurried down the front stairs that ran along side the wheelchair ramp. She stopped and looked at the ramp. Ben had been home almost 2 weeks now and if he was going out on a regular basis that ramp should have some wheel marks on it. Bree stopped and examined the ramp very carefully. There just weren't enough tracks on the ramp to suggest that Ben was leaving that house. She was going to have to ask some questions and make notes on his file. It looked like the man might be more emotionally bottled up than she thought.

Ray Vecchio pulled in the drive as Brianna left the ramp and headed for her car. He got out of his car and approached the lady doctor with a sneer on his face. "What, out making house calls. Ruining anyone else's life lady. "

Bree looked at him in disbelief. "I don't tell people what to do detective. I only suggest that they examine things for themselves. " She stood face to face with him, not giving in an inch.

"Well lady, next time you decide to tell someone something you notice, maybe you should think twice before opening your mouth."

She looked back at the ramp, and made a quick decision. "Does Ben use that ramp? Does he leave the house once in a while?"

"Yea, sure he does. I set it up so he can maneuver that chair easy. With Dief's help he can leave anytime he wants to."

"Well detective, use your eyes. That ramp isn't being used on a regular basis." She turned away and went to her car. "See you at the same time next week, Ray?"

"Yea, sure." Ray threw a lopsided smile at her and approached the ramp.

Ray walked slowly along the ramp, his eyes taking in every inch of it. He climbed the stairs with dragging feet and entered the house.

Franny was crossing the hall to go to the den and saw Ray as he entered the house. She noticed that he was wearing that look he usually wore when he was working the details of a case. She watched him as he walked right up to her without seeing her.

"Ray, watch where you're going?" She commented with a wry smile.

"Franny, does Benny leave the house. Does he go out and watch Chase and the kids play or does he stay pretty much in that room of his?"

"I don't know. You can ask him if you like, he's in the den."

"Naw. I'll ask Ma first. I don't want Benny to think I'm monitoring his daily activities." He gave his sister a smile. "Which, of course I am."

She laughed back at him and went over to the door to the den. "I won't say anything."

Franny knocked on the door and entered the room. Ben was sitting with his back to the door and obviously had not heard her come in. She walked over to him as noisily as she could without sounding like a thundering herd of wild animals and knelt beside his chair.

Ben turned his head from her, but put out his hand to grab hers. Franny gently reached out with her free hand and turned his head to her. His pale face was ashen with bright spots of red on his cheeks. The lips of his beautiful mouth were all a tremble. He was fighting back tears. She leaned her head forward and touched her forehead to his. "I know, I know." She whispered it softly and kissed his forehead. "It's gonna get a lot tougher before it gets better, but it will get better."

"I've seen other people go through things like this," Ben said softly. "And I've always admired their spirit and how most of them just kept going. But I'm beginning to wonder if I can make it. Without Chase, you and Ray I don't think I'd even try."

"Ben, you are a Fraser and a Mountie and an honorary Vecchio. Vecchio's don't quit and I'm damn sure Fraser's don't either." She stopped to think about it a moment. "Damn straight we don't quit, not ever."

Ben laughed at her certainty but privately knew she was as scared as he was. He pulled her to him and hugged her. His lioness, he thought. She won't let me quit.

Chase had been listening at the door and ran into the room when he saw them hugging. The little boy ran up to them and quickly threw his little arms around his father. "Papa, I heard what Aunt Franny said. Grandmere said we are Pinset's and Fraser's. She said we are very stubborn people. Is it a good thing to be stubborn?"

Ben and Franny gathered Chase into their hug with laughter. Grandmere watched the threesome from the door. She had a knowing smile on her face. Turning her chair, she left the three of them alone.

Chapter 46

The watcher knew he shouldn't be there but had been drawn against his will back to this spot, to this chair. He watched the exhausted sleeper with love in his eyes. The luminous dial on in watch said it was 2 a.m. He should be sleeping, but hey who needed that. He had come here every night for the last 3 nights to sit and watch and to leave before the sleeper woke.

The sleeper mumbled and began to toss around in the bed. The sleeper's hands grabbed at his sheets, held them tightly to his chest. He rolled onto his side and pulled his legs up against his chest, then stretched out again. The sleeper's agitated movements drew the watcher's to rise from his chair.

Crossing the distance to the bed quietly, the watcher stood and listened to the words the sleeper said.

"Franny, help me. Need my brown-haired lioness. Help," followed by further thrashing around. Then he said, "We have to make Ray understand." More incoherent words followed that the watcher couldn't understand. Until the words, "Doesn't believe. Must believe, make him," were said, the watcher didn't move. The watcher watched the wet trail down the side of the sleepers face as the tears melted onto the pillow.

Moving quietly the watcher leaned over the bed, "It's OK. It's OK," he whispered. He let one of his hands settle on the pillow and straighten the pillowcase but didn't touch the sleeper's face. Tears ran down his own face.

The sleeper settled a little easier in his sleep. His thrashing slowed and his hands relaxed. "Sok," he said with a smile. "Franny, need you." He turned his head. "Need Ray, too." And then he was silent, as unmoving as he had been five minutes ago.

The watcher gently tucked the blankets around the sleeper's form and quietly left the room. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it and slid to the floor.

Franny snuck down the stairs, just as she had almost every night since Ben had moved in with them. She made her way in the dark down the hall to his room. Most nights all she did was stand and listen for a minute, making sure there were no crying sounds coming from the room. But on those occasions when she had heard the crying she had gone in and soothed Ben with soft-spoken words and a light touch on his hair, never waking him up. She always left quietly and she thought no one in the house knew she checked on Ben at night. When she drew near to Ben's door, she made out her brother's form sitting against the door. Without hesitation, Franny knelt down beside him and took him in her arms.

"Franny, what am I going to do?"

"We live Ray. The three of us live," she whispered in his ear.

"I've gone in the last three nights, just to watch him sleep, ya know." He drew in a deep breath, "Tonight he starts dreaming and crying. He said your name, Franny. He talked about me. God everything is so F...d up."

"Gosh, swearing in the house." Franny drew her head back and took a deep look into his eyes. "Ben and I know you'd never really hurt us. You know that. We know you too well."

"Yea, well maybe you don't," Ray said with a wry smile. "I'm not sure I know myself anymore."

Franny leaned her head against her brothers' with a sigh. "Was he sleeping when you left?"

"Yea, I barely touched his hair and straightened the pillow. He settled down and went back to sleep."

Smiling Franny said, "Those two tricks always work."

Ray looked at her in shock. "You been going in there at night?"

"Yea, duh, someone has to check on him every so often. I knew you weren't doing it, so I did it."

"Does he know you go in there?" Ray said questioned a trifle loudly.

"I don't think so." She thought back over her nightly visits. "He's never seemed to wake when I was in there."

"He called you his lioness." Ray searched his sister's face. "Yea, guess that could describe you. You'd ripe the hide off anyone hurting what you considered yours wouldn't you."

All she could do was nod her head. Her throat was too tight so let her speak.

"Come on sis, Fraser's sleeping his head off. We better go back to bed. Ma finds us both down here and we're dead."

Franny giggled and stood up putting out a hand to help Ray up. The two of them went down the hall arm in arm and went up the stairs.

Chapter 47

Franny smiled to herself as she dressed. It was Saturday and she would be free for the whole day. She hummed to herself as she pulled her hair back and tied it with a silken scarf. One last look in the mirror and she bounced on happy feet over to her door. Yep, Saturday. A whole day she could spend at home.

Opening her door, Franny stopped to listen for the sounds of family rising. Silence met her ears. Drawing in a breath, she turned to go down the hall and bumped into Ray who was in the hall outside his door. The siblings looked at each other in some embarrassment, but smiled and went down the stairs in companionable silence.

At the bottom of the steps, they could hear the sounds of their mother in the kitchen getting breakfast started. Ray looked at Franny with a pixyish grin. "Race you," he taunted and began sliding down the hall in his stocking feet. Franny grabbed at his shirt as he tried to take off, "Oh no you don't."

They held on to each other as they pushed and shoved each other down the hall to arrive breathless in the kitchen doorway. Their mother gave them an exasperated look and looked up at the ceiling shaking a spoon in her hand and muttering under her breath in Italian. "You'd think they were five years old." She crossed herself with the sign of the cross and went back to work.

Ray and Franny slunk into the room quietly. The morning sun was just rising and its rays came through the kitchen windows. It was going to be a great day thought both the Vecchio's as they settled into chairs at the table.

"Ma," Ray began in an offhand way, "Has Fraser been leaving the house at all? You know using that ramp?"

Ma Vecchio pulled out a chair and sank heavily into it. "No, he has not. He has only been out the one time and you know what happened then. His little boy keeps asking him to come out and play. Ben refuses every time. He makes up an excuse that sounds good to Chase. But me, I know better."

"OK, the agenda for today. Get Fraser outside." Ray looked from Franny to his mother. "Any ideas?"

"He's not going until he's ready Ray." Franny turned to her mother looking for support.

"Well, Dr. McBride mentioned it yesterday," Ray said he looked out the window over the sink. "That lady doesn't mention something unless she thinks it's important." Ray looked pensive for a minute. "What we need is a ruse. We're gonna have to play a trick on Benny."

"We're not using Chase, Ray. Get that through your head right now." Franny's dark eyes seemed to bore holes right though Ray.

"Ok, we won't use the kid. So it's gonna be you or the wolf. Take your pick." Ray said with a mischievous smile.

"Why don't you use yourself, Ray?"

"Well, first we gotta get him on the porch. Yea, I guess I can do that." Ray nodded his head. "Franny, will you have a fight with me?"

Franny looked at her brother in total disbelief. "Haven't we been fighting enough lately?" She watched her brother's face intently. "Oh, I get it. We have a fight on the front porch with the door open and Ben just has to hear us. You are sneaky Ray."

"Yea, I thought so."

An hour later, Ray had helped Ben through his morning routine. They had eaten breakfast with Franny. Ben was helping with the dishes, a contented smile on his face. He felt warm and loved. He listened to the sounds in the house as the rest of the family began to rise and wander into the kitchen for breakfast. Chase ran in and climbed into his lap for a morning hug and kiss.

Ben rolled over to the table with his son on his lap, and watched Chase consume two bowls of cereal as Ben held him. He loved to listen to the sounds Chase made as he munched and crunched on his cold cereal. When Chase finished his cereal, Ben rolled the two of them back to the sink where Chase climbed up and washed his own cereal bowl. They gave each other a hug and Ben rolled off down the hall with his son in his lap. Watching Saturday morning cartoons with the other children in the house was next on their agenda.

Chase remained in his father's lap as they watched cartoons. Chase leaned back against his father's chest with Ben's arm around him. Ben nuzzled his son's dark curls and breathed in the smell of him. His arm tightened in protectiveness. Chase looked up at his father and laid a hand on Ben's pale skin. "Love you papa," the little boy said so no one else could hear. "Love you too, Chase," Ben replied.

When the cartoons were over, Maria's kids ran for their jackets. With a look at Ben for permission, Chase scrambled down and ran for his own jacket. In minutes the sound of scuffling feet could be heard as all the children ran out into the backyard.

Turning off the TV, Ben rolled his chair out into the foyer. He noticed the front door was standing open. He rolled nearer to close it. As he approached the door, he heard voices and stopped to listen.

"Ray, you're being silly." Ben heard Francesca who sounded exasperated.

"No, I am not being silly. I'm going to ask Ma. If she says yes to the idea, well, then I'll do it."

"You can't be serious? Ma will never do that"

"She will if I get Benny to ask her?"

"You are not going to bother Ben with this, Ray. It's too silly."

Ben sat listening as their voices started rising in anger. But he couldn't very well just barge in on their conversation. The idea of going out the door made his stomach ill.

"I'm gonna tell Ma, Ray." Franny said in a clipped fashion.

"No, you are not."

Ben heard scuffling on the porch and wheeled a little closer to the door.

"Ray, get your hand off my arm." Ben heard as he leaned forward in his chair.

"Nope. Agree to my plan, then I'll let you go."

"Ray, let me go."

Ben thought he could hear real frustration in Franny's voice, but he knew Ray would never hurt his sister, so he stayed put right inside the door.

Franny and Ray knew Ben was sitting just inside the door. They had heard his chair as rolled up to the door. They looked at each other and Franny gave a nod of her head.

"Ray, you can't keep me out here all day. I have things to do."

"Naw. You're staying right here."

Franny pulled her arm back a little as she moved closer to Ray. Her arm hit the siding of the house by accident.

Ben heard the loud thwack, and Franny's gasp of pain. Without hesitation, he booted the screen door open and rolled out onto the porch. Ray was holding Franny to him as she examined her elbow. Ben rolled over to them, he eyes glaring at Ray.

Chapter 48

Franny stood in the circle of Ray's arms starring into Ben's totally hacked off looking eyes. She had never seen that look on Ben's face before. It sucked the breath right out of her. My god, she thought, has Ray seen this look before? Ben looks so totally angry. An angry Ben was even more beautiful than a smiling Ben, she thought. This look is so excruciatingly animal looking. Watching Ben glare in this way at Ray made her forget all about the pain in her arm.

Ray held Franny's elbow in his hand and stared right back at Ben. He could feel Franny's lungs inhale deeply. Ray knew he had never seen Benny this angry. Ray gently let go of Franny's arm. Ray wasn't at all sure that he ever wanted to see Benny this angry again.

"What the hell is going on Ray?" demanded Ben through tightly gritted teeth. Ben's hands were already trying to push him up out of his chair. He wanted desperately to be on the same eyelevel as Ray. The adrenal rushing through his body was making him breath heavily, his mouth partially opening to aid his rapid breathing.

"I'm not hurt, Ben." Franny pulled away from Ray to stand by Ben. "I just hit the funny bone on my arm. " She leaned over and extended her hand out to touch Ben's right arm. "Please Ben, let it go. I'm not hurt. Ray didn't do anything to hurt me on purpose."

"Are you quite sure your arm is OK Francesca?" Ben was standing on his feet swaying unsteadily towards Ray.

"Yes, Ben, I'm sure."

Ray moved his body right up to Ben and put his hands on his friend's shoulders. Franny put her arms around Ben and supported his swaying body as best she could.

Ben grabbed Ray's shirt and pulled on it. "Just what are you trying to do Ray? What? I won't let you bully Francesca like that anymore. I've listened to you bully her for a long time. I'm through listening to it. Don't you realize you hurt her when you treat her like that?"

Ray had the good grace to look sheepishly at Franny before responding to Ben. "I know I bully her Benny. It's an older brother sibling thing. It doesn't mean anything, really. Does it, Franny?"

Franny realizing that this was an opportunity to enlighten brother Ray decided now was the time to clear the air. "Ray, you do bully me too much and it does hurt my feelings," she said simply.

"Well, I guess it's worth being put down by my best friend and my sister, if it got you out in the sunshine Ben." Ray took a tight grip on Ben. "But I get your point."

Ben finally realized that he was out on the porch, in the open. His stomach knotted up and he felt like throwing up. But that wasn't the worst of his problems. Ben felt his leg muscles beginning to quiver. He was disgusted with himself, since the last attack he had told no one how leaden his legs felt all the time. The feeling had been getting worse with each passing hour. It was all too much for him and he collapsed against Ray, a sweat breaking out on his face.

"Damn it Benny, you never do anything by halves, do you?" Ray lowered Ben back into the wheelchair with Franny's help.

Ben threw his head back and gulped in air as he tried to slow his rapidly increasing breathing. He was scared. His whole body was quivering and he couldn't get enough air. He felt his stomach muscles pulling him forward to hunch over his knees. That didn't help.

Franny put her arm across Ben's back and tried to see his face. She looked up at Ray with a panic stricken look. "Ray, he's not breathing right. I think he's having a panic attack."

Ray ran to the door of the house and almost tore the screen door off its hinges as he raced inside. He returned quickly with a brown paper lunch bag in his hands followed by his mother who remained in the doorway as Ray opened the bag and put it over Ben's nose and mouth.

"Benny, you gotta breath into this bag. OK. Don't be scared. I think you're just having a panic attack." Ray held the bag in place. Ben raised his hands to push the bag away but Ray batted his hands away. "Breathe. Don't push the bag away." Ben still tried to push the bag away. Ray was beginning to panic himself. Franny grabbed Ben's hands and held them between her own.

"You're doing Great Ben," Franny whispered into Ben's ear. "Just keep breathing."

Within minutes Ben's breathing settled back into a normal rhythm, but Ray held the bag in place until he was sure Ben was breathing normally.

"That's it" Ray announced to the world at large. "He's going to the hospital to be checked out. Get his coat, will ya Franny."

"I'm coming too." Franny went to the screen door and saw her mother standing there with tears in her eyes. Franny looked back at Ray and Ben. "He's OK Ma. Ray just wants to be sure."

"Ray, I don't need to go the hospital." Ben was protesting in a loud voice. "I'm quite all right now. It was just a panic attack."

"Ya right, and I'm Mother Theresa." Ray snickered as he got behind Ben's chair and began moving to the ramp.

Ben was totally exhausted from the breathing attack and slumped down in his chair. He hardly noticed when they traveled the length of the wheelchair ramp or when Ray bodily picked him up and settled him in the car. Franny ran out the door and down the steps with Ben's jacket over her arm. She quickly jumped in the back of the Riv and waited for Ray to start the car.

As the Riv pulled out of the driveway, Ma Vecchio shut the front door and a hand that had been holding back the curtain at the front window let the curtain drop.

Chapter 49

After waiting 3 hours for their turn in the emergency room, Ben lay on an examining table covered with a light blanket. Franny stood next to him, her hand resting on the gurney next to one of his. Ray stood with his back to them watching the traffic in the hallway through the break in the cubicle's privacy curtains. Ben dreaded being here again; he was praying they wouldn't admit him. Just the thought of being admitted was causing his palms to sweat.

The curtain in front of Ray was drawn back and a young, female doctor walked in with Ben's thick hospital chart in her hand. She glanced at Ray and Franny before turning her attention to Ben.

Ben tried to avoid looking directly into the doctor's eyes. He looked at her, but not at her eyes. Franny noticed, but didn't say anything.

Franny leaned over and kissed Ben's forehead. "Ray and I will be outside in the hallway. Call if you need us." Ben clutched at her hand and gripped it in a vice-like grip. "It's OK. We won't be far away." Gently extricating her hand, she smiled at him and went to Ray. She put her hands on his back and shoved him from the room.

"I've just gone over your chart a little bit. What brought you in today, Ben.?"

Ben didn't respond to her quickly, his eyes closed briefly. "I had a panic attack and my friends hauled me in here to be checked out. But I'm fine, really I am."

"Well, let's check you over and see how fine you are, OK?"

Ben grabbed his blanket and pulled it into a bunch under his hand. "This really isn't necessary, you know. I let them bring me in here to make them feel better. I'm quite all right, doctor."

"Then why won't you look me in the eyes when you say that Ben?" She set his chart down. "Your chart says you've been going through quite a few rough patches lately." She began to listen to his chest with her stethoscope.

When the doctor began checking Ben's muscle tone in his legs, she could tell he was anxious to hide something. She became even more thorough in her exam.

"Lift your left leg and hold it a few inches off the gurney, please." She waited patiently and when Ben didn't respond, she looked at his face. Sweat was beading on his forehead; his lower lip was clasped in his teeth. She looked back at his leg and saw it rise but drop back down. "Your chart says you held that leg up for 1 minute at your last check up. Ok, lets try the right leg." Ben's right leg responded in the same way as his left. She drew the cover back over him. "All your blood tests aren't back yet, Ben. But something is going on here that we should check out." She noticed he expelled a deep breath and took in another quickly.

She made a few notations on his chart and listened to his breathing as she wrote. Ben was soon gasping for air and pulling himself into a ball on the gurney. The doctor opened a drawer in the medical cabinet and brought out a plain, brown lunch bag. She quickly opened it and formed it around Ben's mouth and nose. "Breath Ben. You're having another panic attack. Just keep breathing and you'll be OK." She watched as he labored to control his breathing. In just a few minutes, he was breathing more normally. His eyes finally met her's with a grateful look. "Keep the bag near your face and keep breathing. I'll be back in a few minutes."

The doctor pulled the curtain back and stepped out into the hall in search of Franny and Ray. She saw them a little distance down the hall standing close together. They saw her and started towards her.

Franny stood next to the doctor and asked, "How is he?"

"He had another panic attack while I was examining him. I did what you did, gave him a bag to breath into and he's fine, for the moment. Has he mentioned to either one of you anything about his legs? His muscle tone is backsliding. He seems to know something but isn't handing out information."

"That's our Benny," Ray remarked wryly.

"I'm concerned about his last visit here, when he was brought in after the last attack. Has he mentioned to either of you that we're waiting for more serology testing to come back? In view of his original trauma, I might speculate that he's been drugged again. I'm going to push for a quicker release of serology testing. He's too keyed up about staying here, so I won't keep him overnight. He lives with you both right." They both nodded at him. "Well, take him home, get him warm and put him to bed. He's to have complete bed rest for at least 24 hours. No stress."

"Ya, how do we do that one doc?" Ray shook his head and held his hands in the air.

"We'll do our best doctor," Franny replied with a nudge in Ray's ribs with her hand.

"Oh and you might put a supply of brown paper bags near his bed. The panic attacks might continue."

"Great, just great," Ray moaned as he walked back to Ben's cubicle. He pulled the curtain back and gave Benny his goofy smile. "Let's blow this joint."

Chapter 50

Ma Vecchio had heard Grandmere as she rolled in her chair to the window by the porch. When Ray pulled away from the house in the Riv, she turned her attention to the old woman she was coming to call family and friend.

Grandmere's shoulders were hunched and she was wringing her hands in her lap. She hadn't moved away from the window. She looked up to see Mrs. Vecchio watching her. Her normally beautiful face was gaunt and gray. Holding up her hand to Mrs. Vecchio she motioned her closer.

The two women clasped hands and starred into each other's eyes. Mrs. Vecchio knelt by the chair and said, "What do you know? You know something more about all of this don't you?"

"Too many secrets for too long." Grandmere drew her friend to her. "I want you to listen carefully. This isn't a very pretty story." Mrs. Vecchio rose brought a chair over to place it next to the wheelchair.

"We've plenty of time. Please tell me. For Benny's sake, tell me."

Grandmere began her story quietly.

I was one of the prettiest girls in our province. I was headstrong and listened to no one. A young man came to visit us. He was my cousin, many times removed. We fell in love but told no one. My father was determined that I marry a man of his choice. Someone well respected in the community and very rich. I refused, finally telling him of my love for my distant cousin. In those days, it was easy for a father to take control. He banished my cousin from our home and forced me to marry the man of his choice. My husband was a sympathetic man, but not a lover of women. My father never found that out. Went to his grave oblivious of the fact he had married me off to a good and decent man who unfortunately like men in his bed.

My husband found out about my love for my cousin. He told me he approved of my choice. Pinset's were good blood. He arranged for me to travel abroad one summer. He also arranged for my cousin to accompany me. It was a lovely summer, filled with love at every turn. My husband also traveled himself. No one in the family knew we weren't together.

My cousin fell ill during our visit to Paris. He died there. I wired my husband that I was alone. My husband came and helped me send my cousin's body home to his family. He understood my sadness and escorted me back to our home.

It wasn't long before I realized I was pregnant. My husband was delighted. A possible heir to the DuRoche fortune was what he wanted more than anything. He was quite proud. But he told me if the child were not a boy, he would not keep it. I would have to find another home for a girl child.

Caroline was born that the following spring. She was so beautiful. But Philippe would not accept her. He made arrangements with another of my Pinset cousin's to adopt her. I became her Aunt and was able to see my child often.

The years passed and Caroline grew into a beautiful young woman. She was courted by many of the young men near her home. But only two caught her attention. Both men were young Mounties. Their rivalry for her became high comedy on the gossip's tongues. My husband found out about Caroline's suitors and began making arrangements for a rich young man of his acquaintance to meet her. I knew about this young man. He was a particular friend of my husband's.

Caroline was stubborn and beautiful. And I knew how to manipulate her. I made it seem that I wanted her to marry this young man too. I made her life miserable. Her parents loved her but wouldn't cross my husband's wishes for anything. Too much money was involved. But finally, I was able to manipulate Caroline into running away.

She married young Robert Fraser of the RCMP. They had one child, Benton.

Ben thinks I am a great Aunt. But he and Chase are the only family I have left. . About 10 years I had to go into the hospital for surgery. I lost track of Ben until Michelle brought him into my home. It killed me inside when I found out how Victoria had used him here I couldn't believe Michelle was hurting him. She was my niece. I wanted to stop her but I couldn't. This old body in this wheelchair could only do so much.

And now Ray tells me that Michelle may have used access to a drug company I own to hurt my grandson. This company deals in drugs from all over the world. Michelle used some of those drugs on Ben. My grandson needs my help. I guess it's about time I do something.

Grandmere finally paused and looked into the face of her friend.

Mrs. Vecchio leaned over and patted the older woman on the shoulder. "You must tell my son all of this. You must tell Benton."

Grandmere thrust herself back into her chair and sat up boldly. "I know." She smiled a tremulous smile. "Call me Marie."

Mrs. Vecchio responded quietly, "Call me, Rosa."

Chapter 51

Ben had spent the last 24 hours being coddled, pampered and almost downright spoon-fed. Everyone in the house, including his son tiptoed past his room. He hadn't been allowed out of bed for more than 15 minutes at a time. Franny was the only one who looked in on him once in awhile but didn't constantly hover over him.

Ben looked at his wristwatch. He felt his 24-hour imprisonment was over. He pulled himself up on the bed, threw back the covers and yelled at the top of his voice. "My twenty-four hours of rest are over and I'm getting up."

He waited anxiously but no one ran in the room, and he didn't hear any scurrying steps. He yelled out again and listened. He could hear sounds in the kitchen and the TV in the living room. But no one was rushing to his aid. He smiled. But once he tried lifting his legs off the bed, he realized he was back at square one and couldn't move them. Frustrated he picked up one of his pillows and threw it as hard as he could towards the bedroom door. Benton Fraser was angry. He wanted to take his frustration out on someone and no one was there. He grabbed a magazine off of his bookcase and threw it against the bedroom door.

Ray poked his head around Ben's door and took in the debris on the floor. He walked in and shut and locked the bedroom door. When Ben heard the door lock, he pulled himself closer to the edge of the bed. He grasped at his wheelchair and missed to fall off of the bed in a huddle on the floor. Ray walked up, leaned over and heaved Ben back up onto the bed.

"You gonna tell me about your legs now?"

"What do you mean, what's there to tell?"

"Ben if you were any more stubborn, I would think you were Italian."

"Ray, I am not stubborn"

"Sure you aren't Benny." Ray sat down in the wheelchair and looked Ben straight in the eyes. "I went over the report the hospital sent over Ben. Why didn't you tell me about what the creep did to you, why Benny."

Ben briefly closed his eyes, "I told the doctor. I didn't want you worried about new problems." He jutted his jaw out a little and a steely look in his eyes.

"And just when were you going to tell me about your legs, Ben? Does Franny know?"

Ben looked Ray straight in the eyes, "Don't you dare tell Francesca."

"Ben, she was there remember. She probably all ready has an idea that something happened. She probably thinks you'll talk about it when you're ready."

Ben looked away to stare out his window. The muscles in his jaw were tightening into hard, visible knots under his skin. "You've got no idea what this is like for me, Ray."

"Oh yea, remember when they kidnapped you Ben. I wasn't sitting on that floor for fun. I couldn't move. By the time they were ready to haul you out that window, I couldn't move a muscle or talk." Ray watched the interplay of emotion on Ben's face. "It took days in the hospital before I could crawl out of bed on my own. OH yea, I don't know what this is like for you. But I sure as hell have an idea."

Ben's eyes were filled with tears, "I didn't know that Ray."

"Naw, no one told you. I didn't want you to know. You've been dealing with enough crap. I didn't want you worried about me. I love you Ben." Ray's voice trailed down to a whisper while he was talking to Ben.

"I love you, too, Ray." Ben pulled back against his pillows. "But I can't love you the way you want me to love you."

Ray stood up and turned away from Ben's bed. His shoulders were drooping, he held his head down. He raised his head and stared out the window for a moment then purposefully walked over and closed the curtains throwing the room into semi-darkness. Ray walked back to the bed and sat down very close to Ben. "Why. Why can't you love me like I want you to? Do you feel it's wrong? Does my love repulse you?" Ray's shoulders were shaking as he held out a hand to Ben. Ray leaned forward and took one of Ben's hands in his. "Does my touch, make your skin crawl, Benny? What do you feel Benny. I gotta know."

Ben couldn't answer, his tongue felt as leaden as his legs. He wanted to pull back, or to jump out of the bed and leave that room. But he couldn't. He loved Ray as a brother loves a brother and he was afraid of what Ray was offering; of what Ray might take from him. When the words wouldn't come, he shook his head in a negative fashion and closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Ray's feelings of anguish and rejection.

"Not good enough, Benny." Ray ground out through tightly held teeth. He leaned forward and brushed Ben's lips with his. Ben's body shook and he still couldn't speak, couldn't move away from Ray. Ray took Ben's silence as a positive sign and climbed up on the bed to get closer to Ben. He kissed Ben's lips again, trying to pry them open so he could taste Ben's mouth. Ben was frozen into stillness. He couldn't believe what was happening because he couldn't talk or move.

Ray gently wrapped his hand around Ben's neck to feel Ben's skin beneath his. He could feel the pulsing of the blood in Ben's arteries, the breath coursing into his body. He didn't realize that Ben wasn't responding with words because his body had gone into shutdown mode. Ray moved his lips over Ben's face, his neck. He moved his hands down over Ben's chest to find his soft, pale nipples. Rubbing his hand along Ben's side he maintained his mouth's position near Ben's face. Sliding down over Ben's body, Ray began to lick and kiss Ben as he unbuttoned Ben's pajama top. Ben lay still, his mind blocking out what was happening even as his body, like Pavlov's dog, responded to Ray because of the conditioning Michelle had put him through.

Sliding down over Ben, Ray continued to lick and kiss his way over the pale, quivering skin to Ben's navel. He thrust his tongue in and out of the small opening while moving his hands still lower on Ben's body. He gently pushed down Ben's pajama bottoms and his crisply starched shorts. Ray's hands slid in circles along the smooth skin leading to Ben's dark, coarse pubic curls. Ray never looked up to see the tear sliding down Ben's eyes.

Taking Ben's penis in his hand, Ray encircled it within his fingers. He placed his palm over the head of it and rubbed softly back and forth, barely touching the sensitive skin. He kissed the skin around the dark curls in little circle patterns. Ben's rapists had trained his body well and with just a little encouragement, his penis began to swell and rise. Ben felt like he was choking, so thick was the tightness in his throat. Ray began whispering as he kept making love to Ben. "Love you, Benny. Love you," the whispered words reached Ben's ears. Ben's mind raced, "Stop, please stop," but no sounds exited his mouth.

Ray's tongue began slow, circuits of the head of Ben's penis, before beginning to suck the skin up and down the shaft as it began to elongate. He laid with his shoulders over Ben's hips his left arm reaching under Ben, his right arm holding his hips down. "God, Ben. You taste so sweet." Ben didn't hear Ray's voice. In his mind, it was Michelle taking him again. Ray turned his body so he lay on partially on top of Ben; words kept flowing from his mouth. He was too deep into his actions to realize Ben wasn't responding with words. Ray's own body was going into overdrive, expressing his love for Ben. Ray settled his open mouth over Ben's member and slowly drew it inside of him. He sucked and licked as Ben's penis responded to him.

Green eyes roamed Ben's thighs as he sucked, taking in the cool, creamy pale skin. He ran his left hand up one thigh, back to Ben's soft skin sack and up the other thigh and back. The skin under his hand rippled, muscles contracting and expanding. He drew his left hand back to Ben's soft, drawn up sack and ran his fingers along the skin leading to Ben's nearly exposed anus. He scooted down lower over Ben's hips and let his fingers slowly run little circles over Ben's buttocks cleft. Sliding down further, he rubbed first his thumb then his index finger over Ben's opening. Ray pulled his fingers back to his mouth and licked then before returning them to grope gently at the little opening. Ray slid back up a little and continued to take Ben into his mouth. He moaned softly as he could feel his own penis fill with his need to love Ben.

Ben made little sounds in his throat trying to get the word no out of his mouth. But his throat wouldn't cooperate. The word bunched in throat and held him silent. He was aware of every tiny movement Ray made over his body. Each movement, each kiss, each touch of skin he knew was a loving caress from Ray, but Ben was not enjoying the lovemaking Ray was experiencing. Ben just knew that any chance there had been for him to enjoy and share this with Ray had been burned out by his rape by Michelle and the limo driver. He was crying inside, knowing he could not return what Ray was so lovingly offering. The tears flowed freely down his face, his lips moved, but no sounds came out.

Ray gently moved away from Ben and turned him over to begin massaging Ben's beautiful backside with kisses and tongue swirls. He loosed the fastener on his own pants and pushed and tugged until his own private parts touch Ben's skin. He roamed up Ben's back until he lay over him, his own hot need pushing into Ben's cleft. Ray slid one his arms under Ben and lifted his hips up to meet his. He whispered, "I love you Benny. I love you, caro mio," as he sank his swelling body into Ben's. He rocked back and forth as gently as he could; before the heat and tightness gripped him and drew him on to roughly seek his fulfillment in Ben. Each thrust to Ray was an expression of his love and longing for Ben. Each thrust filled Ben with anger for Michelle and sadness for a life with Ray he knew he'd never be able to share.

Ray sighed in completion. His body relaxed and collapsed against Ben's naked back. He ran his hands up and down Ben's back to reassure himself that Ben was all right. He listened to Ben's labored breathing and slid softly off of Ben and rolled Ben to face him. Ben's eyes were closed, his mouth hung open. He had fainted before Ray was finished with his final movements of love. Ray climbed from the bed and used he bed's controls to raise the foot of the bed; he straightened his own clothing and picked up the glass of water that was always at Ben's bedside. He gently lifted Ben's head and held the glass to the pale lips, letting the water moisten them. Setting the glass down, he smoothed Ben's hair away from his face. He waited for Ben to awaken.

Chapter 52

Ben felt himself swimming towards consciousness. His body felt more leaden than before. He knew Ray leaned over the bed, holding him, smoothing his hair away from his face. He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to stay cocooned in oblivion for as long as he could. He listened to his own heart beating, heard his own breathing, but he knew he didn't want to open his eyes.

Ray's eyes searched Ben's face for some sign of wakening recognition. His eyes were filled with joy and love. Ben hadn't said no. The phrase kept ringing in his head and it had been as lovely as he had pictured loving Ben would be, yet something nagged at him, made him uneasy.

Cupping Ben's face with his hands, Ray leaned in for another kiss. He had to taste the sweet lips and mouth once more. As he neared Ben's mouth, Ben's eyes flew open. Ben stared at Ray as if drugged, his eyes clouded with moisture. Ray leaned and kissed Ben's eyes as Ben finally made his vocal chords work. "Ray, I'm sorry," he whispered.

Ray pulled back to look at Ben's face closely. "What do you mean, you're sorry?" Ray was barely able to talk himself.

"I couldn't say no, Ray. I wanted to, but I couldn't say no." Ben grabbed onto Ray's arm with both his hands to prevent him from pulling away. "I can't love you that way, Ray. "

Horrified, Ray tried to pull away. "You're saying I just raped you Benny." Ray tried again to pull out of Ben's steel grasp. "Benny, caro." Ray began to collapse upon the bed as tears began to wrack his body.

"Ray, not rape. I didn't say, No."

"What would you call it, consensual sex? I don't think so Ben." Ray was now grabbing Ben's shoulders and looking fiercely into his eyes. "Ben, why didn't you say No? Why Ben?" Ray tried again to pull away.

Ben held on tighter and whispered, "I couldn't talk, I couldn't move. I don't know why. Ray, what's wrong with me. Why can't I love you? Why Ray? If there was anyone I could love that way, I would want it to be you, Ray."

"I can't pretend this never happened Ben. I'm going to have to turn myself in. It was rape Ben."

"No, Ray. It was love. I know that. I felt that. I won't let you ruin your life over this Ray."

"I did a pretty good job of that myself."

Ray felt Ben's hands weakening in their grip and fell back into Ben's wheelchair. "OH my God," he said in a fainting tone. "Franny"

Chapter 53

Ben stared Ray straight in the eyes as his friend sat in front of him. "I think you have more than Franny to worry about right now Ray. You're going to have to work what all this means out with me, before we open that door."

"You didn't say no, it was rape." Ray looked down at his hands. "I can't believe I did this to you."

Pulling himself up on the bed, Ben pulled his pajama top closer over his body and settled the comforter Ray had thrown over him. He took a deep breath and patted the bed beside him. "Come over here, Ray."

"No way, that's what got me in this trouble."

Ben leaned as far forward as he could and was just able to grab one of Ray's folded hands. Ben pulled. He caught Ray off guard and jerked Ray out of the chair. All those hours with the weights are beginning to pay off thought Ben with a sly smile. He kept a tight grip on Ray's hand and tugged Ray towards him. "Ray if you resist, you're going to pull me right out of this bed, because I'm not going to let you go." Ben's fingers dug deeply in Ray's wrist pinching off the blood to those long, olive-skinned fingers.

Ray was surprised at the strength Benny was exhibiting with his grip. He acquiesced and moved closer to but not quite touching the bed. Ben gave an exasperated sigh and pulled harder, toppling Ray onto the bed.

With Ray's wrist held firmly in his hand, Ben leaned forward and using his free hand grabbed a handful of Ray's sparse hair. "Listen to me Ray. I've never told you what Michelle and that demented limo driver did to me, have I?" Ray started to feel fear building in his stomach. He didn't want to hear this, he didn't.

Ben was able to get his face close to Ray's and he brought his mouth up close to Ray's ears. "Close your eyes" he commanded of Ray. "Keep them closed. I'll tell you when to open them."

Ben began talking in a low, husky whisper. "I never saw her face, did you know that? Those patches were on my eyes from the last time I saw your face until you removed them. I stayed in that room the whole time I was there chained to that bed. One of them would come in the door, turn and lock it whenever they felt like it. The sound of that lock always took my breath away. I would lie there like a frightened rabbit. Towards the end all I could do was lay there and shiver and sometimes I cried. It was important to listen Ray, that's how I would know which one was in the room with me. It made no difference to me, which one of them was in the room, I had no choices. The result was always the same. Michelle was a little less rough than the man. But she always kissed me until I couldn't breathe Ray, she delighted in that." Ben leaned over pressed his lips to Ray's in a brutal locking of lips. He ground his mouth into Ray's until Ray opened his lips, then Ben kissed him as Michelle had kissed him. Ray's eyes opened and he tried to buck away from Ben, but his body as dragged backwards over the bed rail and Ben's hands held him still.

Just when Ray thought he was going to pass out, Ben drew his mouth away. "Did you feel any love there Ray? Did it feel soft and safe? You kissed me with tenderness and love Ray." Ben was quiet. Ray began to open his eyes, and Ben admonished him, "I said, keep them closed Ray." Silence filled the air. Ray could hear Ben raggedly drawing in air. "Michelle liked my mouth Ray. She would put her forearm over my throat and wait till I opened my mouth to gasp for air, then she would move in to kiss me. She would kiss me for long periods of time before moving down to my neck and the rest of my body. The man hardly ever kissed me Ray. He almost always forced a huge rag in my mouth, filling my mouth almost back to my throat." Ben could feel Ray tremble in his hands. "The man was usually very rough; he would run his calloused fingers over me wherever he wanted. He would take me and use me Ray, like I was his own rag doll. It didn't matter how bad it hurt, I had to lie there and take it. He would bite my nipples, almost tearing the skin. Sometimes he would press his sex into my navel or my groin. Most times he wait until he was over the brink and force his sex into me. He usually just rammed into me Ray. He didn't take time to kiss and hug or touch me softly. He said no words to soothe me. You did Ray." Ben felt his tongue becoming thick and dry. "But that wasn't the worst Ray. The worst was the few times he would drag the gag out of my mouth and force his sex between my teeth and deep into my throat. I always thought that I might die that way Ray. He would sit on my chest, so I couldn't breathe and when he knew I had to draw air in he would move and take me. Sometimes he laughed while he thrust into me. I couldn't block out the laughter Ray. But he was fastidious Ray. After he enjoyed himself with me, he would clean me. He would go to the bathroom and bring out a bowl and clothe and clean me, tenderly like a child one cherished. But if I failed to hold still, if I twitched, he would rape me again and it would always be worse the second time. "

Ben's grip on Ray's wrist tightened and Ben drew Ray's arm closer. "I learned to lie very still Ray. I was quite good at it. Michelle didn't know until the end that he was raping me. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but she didn't know. She used cruel fingers and her drugs to control me. She actually said she wanted a child from me. Just before you found me, she told me she was taking me and Chase to Canada to be a family." Ben ground out rough laughter. He knew he was on the verge of becoming hysterical. He shifted a little on the bed.

"I don't ever want to hear you say you raped me. I couldn't say no, and my body refused me control, but you did nothing to hurt me. Your touch on me was so far removed from what those two did to me. You were kind, you were gentle, and you whispered beautiful words of love. Words you meant. It's not your fault I can't accept those words in that way. Understand Ray. Open your eyes. Look at me." Ray slowly opened his huge green eyes that were luminous with unshed tears.

"Benny," he started to whisper but Ben cut him off with a finger laid across Ray's lips.

"Never tell me it was rape, Ray. All I could ever see and feel in my mind when you talked of loving me was how badly it hurt when they took me. How horrible they had made me feel. But you were different Ray. You showed me how love could be between us. I won't accept that as rape. Understood Ray."

"Ben, it was wrong," Ray said pulling himself from Ben's lax grip. He turned on the bed and shoved himself up. "It was wrong!"

"Well, I won't testify against you and since I'm not a child, no one can force me to ruin your life. I won't do it."

"Ben, what are you going to tell Franny?"

"That I don't know yet."

"She's gonna get a gun and kill me. Maybe I should just give her mine."

"Ray would you send someone I love to prison for the rest of her life?" Ben's voice was hoarse.

"No Benny, I wouldn't." Ray pulled his body up and off of the bed. In the room's dimness, he saw the desperation he felt mirror back at him through Benny's eyes.

"It's all in the perception of the incident Ray. I don't perceive that you meant me harm or that you were just trying to gratify your own feelings. I think you were showing me your love to try and take away all the bad things that go bump in the night for me." Ben smiled one of his truly bright smiles. "It's OK, Ray."

Ray walked over to the window and began opening the curtains. Sun burst brightly into the room claiming all its shadows. Ray walked to the door and unlocked it. He looked at his watch. Just one hour. His life had been ruined in just one hour, but he somehow had the feeling that Benny was just starting to take back control of his own life. And that wasn't a bad thing.

Chapter 54

Franny was playing outside with Chase and the Vecchio children. Her hair blew about her face, and she was laughing as the children chased her and tackled her. She rolled in the grass her jeans and sweatshirt were grabbed by little fingers of every size trying to get her attention. Chase leapt in and just started tickling her. Franny rolled away and leapt to her feet intending to escape to the safety of the house and leave her mother and Grandmere outside with the children.

As she rose and ran towards the back door, she noticed that the white curtains at Ben's window were drawn closed. Franny couldn't remember seeing those curtains closed in the whole time that Ben and Chase had been living with them.

"Ma, keep the kids out here," Franny yelled to her mother as she pointed to the window. "I'm going in for a bit."

As Franny neared Ben's door, she could hear Ray and Benny talking loudly, but she couldn't make out their words. Just as she put her hand on the knob to Benny's door, Ray flung open the door and stood staring her in the face. For once in his life with Franny, Ray dropped his head and refused to look her in the eye.

Franny took Ray's lack of eye contact as a direct challenge and putting her ands on his chest pushed him back into the room. She closed the door and leaned against it. The bright sunlight shinning into the room from the newly opened window did nothing to brighten Franny's mood.

Raising her arm, she pushed on Ray until he was in the furthest corner of the room and in front of the room's only cushy chair. Ray never protested as she used both hands to knock him down into the chair. Franny backed off from Ray to stand by Ben's bed and look him directly in the eyes.

Ben's eyes never wavered from Franny's, yet she knew he was hiding something. Franny took in Ben's flushed face and the hollows under his eyes. She whipped her glance back to Ray.

"Would one you two please tell me what's going on? And don't try to give me any kids tale. I can tell when something isn't right. I may not a guy with a pipe hanging from his mouth, but I can figure things out."

"Ah, she means she's not a Sherlock Holm's, Ray." Ben said with a lilt to his deep voice.

"Yea, I gathered that."

By now Franny had her hands on her hips and was giving Ray her don't you lie to me look. "Ray, are you going to answer my question?"

Ray shrugged his shoulders and laid his head on the back of the chair. "And the reason I should answer your question is?"

Whirling around to face Ben, she walked right up to his bedside and took one of his hands in hers. "I need to know, are you all right? What's with Ray?" Franny sat on the bed in the exact spot that Ray had vacated several minutes before.

Ray started to get out of his chair. Franny heard the cushions squeak and without looking at her brother she yelled, "You don't move Mister." With a sigh Ray settled back into the chair, "Oh geesh. She's not gonna quit."

"I gathered that Ray," Ben looked away from Franny to watch Ray stare at the ceiling. Ben clenched his jaw momentarily. "I think we owe Franny some explanation, Ray.'

Ray's head jerked up off the back of the chair and he bounded to his feet. "Ben, you can't be serious."

Franny's face paled and her eyes darkened. "You're scaring me guys," she whispered.

"Ray sit down, I'll handle this." Ben drew Franny back to face him.

"I told Ray everything about what happened to me, Franny. Everything. I never intended for either of you to know what I went through," he paused, took a deep breath and began to tell Franny a pale version of what he had survived in the last two months. Ray watched quietly, amazed at Ben's detachment in telling the story to Franny and relieved at the way Ben kept Ray out of the story.

When Ben completed his story, Franny was lying against his shoulder, her hair being brushed by his hands. Most of the story had been told without them looking at each other. Franny's head was tucked down to hide her tears from Ben. Ben's eyes never left Ray's the entire time he had talked. Ben had woven a skillful rendering of the happenings as if they had happened to someone else.

Ben's words reached Franny's heart. She knew there was much more Ben wasn't telling her. That was enough for now. She knew Ray figured in the story more deeply than Ben was telling, but she wouldn't hurt Ben by digging into the facts too closely. Ben's counselor, Brianna McBride, was right. Things had to be handled by Ben in his way, not hers.

Franny raised her eyes to Ben's face and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry, so sorry Ben." She kissed his cheek as he folded her into a hug.

Ray sighed, he had to watch her kiss him now. He had to watch Ben kiss her hair and hold her. He rose from his chair and walked across the room, before Franny noticed him trying to escape."

"Hey mister, I'm not done with you." She gasped, dropped a kiss on Ben's nose and ran after her brother as he escaped Ben's room.

Ben smiled as he heard the siblings running up the stairs in the front hall. He pulled his covers up a little more and settled back to watch the sunshine as it settled on the chair Ray had just vacated.

Chapter 55

Every afternoon since she moved in to be near Benton, Marie Caroline Pinset DuRoche had eaten lunch, taken a nap, played with Chase and his puppy and then helped Rosa Vecchio prepare the evening meal. She was coming to realize more and more lately that her health was failing. A fact she was determined to keep well hidden from Benton.

Her room was a short distance down the hall from Benton's. He had teasingly called their hallway, wheelchair row. She smiled at the remembrance of the laughing look on his face that afternoon as he had teased her. Since she met him she had rarely seen him smile.

She had furnished Benton's room when he came home from the hospital as well as having her favorite pieces of furniture brought here from her home. Where Benton's room was all light and white with blue. Her room was filled with dark, heavy furniture and hunter green curtains with matching pillows and comforter. She listened carefully at her door, and then went to her armoire. She opened a secret panel on the side and withdrew a shoebox-sized box with a lock on it. Opening the box, she drew out some papers with legal seals on them and a pile of photographs. Laying the papers aside, she sorted through the pictures to find the ones she wanted.

Ray passed down the hall quietly from the kitchen. He stopped at Grandmere's door and knocked. He heard her ask who had knocked. Hearing his name, she beckoned him into the room.

Entering her domain, Ray saw the papers carefully laid on the bed and the stack of photographs. Grandmere held one lovingly in her hands. Though there was a bright smile on her face, tears ran down her face. She held the photo up for Ray to see.

It was a picture of a small, curly haired boy sitting on his mother's lap. The deep, blue-sky eyes of the child looked lovingly at the picture taker. He was perhaps 4 with very silky looking hair. The woman had dark, soft hair and a clear smile. She was looking down at her child.

Ray was astonished. "Is this who I think it is?"

"Yes, my dear. Caroline was so thrilled that a photographer traveled to the far reaches of the territories several times a year. She had their picture taken often. She never knew I arranged for the sessions or that I received prints. " She turned and fumbled further through the pile of photos. "When he went to live with his grandparents, I sent another young man around. He told them he was a beginner and needed the work. See here is Benton age 9."

"So all you've had of your grandson all these years are his pictures. And his mother never knew." Ray returned the picture with care. "You have to tell Benny you know."

"I shall, when the time is right. He may hate me once he knows, that's not a chance I want to take right now. "

Ray took a step away from the old lady. "There are very few people in this world Benny hates."

She looked him directly in the eye. "I don't want to be one of the few young man." She watched his face for a moment. "Mon dieu, whatever is the matter?"

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just blurt it right out. Thanks to your signature on those papers, the lab was forced to give us the information we need about the drugs used on Benny. There's good news and there's bad. They've been working on this line of paralytic drugs for several years for the military."

"The military!" she was disgusted.

"Yea, and Michelle was in thick as thieves with one of the men who was trying to black-market the drugs. So, if the drugs she gave Benny were the pure laboratory ones, there's a chance the damage can be reversed. But if the last drug used on Benny was in its impure form, the chances go down the any reversal will take place."

"Does Benton know this yet?"

"No, I won't tell him until the lab ships out what they hope will be the antidote. That might be a few weeks yet. The compounds that go into the production of the antidote come from remote regions of the rain forest and the plants are hard to find."

I had a talk with your mother and she knows my secret. You must be aware of it too. Benton's mother, Caroline, was really my daughter. That makes Benton my grandson and Chase my great grandson. This has been a secret since before Benton was born. Please do not break my confidence." She paused, "You will tell me if there's anything I can do, please, money is not an object."

"You know this will all go to trial soon. Michelle's hired man is charged with kidnapping, imprisonment and other crimes."

"Ray, I live in this house as do you. I know what he did to my grandson. Does Benton have to testify?"

"I don't know yet Mam. The DA has been working on the case. A statement was taken from Benny in the hospital and his counselor has advised them not to rush it. But I think he may have to testify, but with our court system the way it is, could be months if not a year before this actually goes before a judge. Right now they have enough information to keep the man in jail pending trial."

Grandmere sat up firmly in her chair. "Benton is a Pinset and a Fraser not to mention a Benton. He will do what he has to do."

Ray smiled at her with the tenderness he would show his own grandmother. "I know Benny has some sense of justice."

"He has chivalry and honor and a good sense of what's right."

Ray thought of a few of the times Ben had dragged him on one of Benny's quests. "Yea, tell me about it." He said with a rueful smile. "The money that man costs me in dry cleaning bills." He left her room laughing.

Grandmere gathered her pictures and papers up and returned them to her box without noticing that the one of Ben at 3 had fallen under her bed.

Chapter 56

Chase ran into Grandmere's room with his puppy on his heels. "Grandmere, will you read me a story today." The little boy had a book in his hand.

She looked down at him as she moved away her dresser where she had been fixing her hair. "But, of course, petite. She gathered the boy onto her lap and taking the book began to read.

Naturally that little puppy ran around the room sniffing at everything and tugging on linens hanging to the floor. He nosed out the picture Grandmere had missed and picked it up in his teeth. He trotted to the semi open door and lay in the hallway with the picture between his growing front paws.

Francesca saw the puppy lying contentedly in the hall. She leaned down to pet him and notice the paper he had trapped with his fee. Picking it up, she took in the picture and heard Grandmere reading to Chase. The story being read was almost over and Franny waited for Chase to scurry out for his puppy. Franny was aware of everything in Ben's room and she knew that picture was not one of his things. She was also dead sure it was a picture of Ben.

Chase came flying out of his Grandmere's room with a giggle and a hop. He looked at Francesca and hugged her legs before taking off to the kitchen where he heard Maria's children playing at cooking at the table.

Franny pushed the door open a little and entered part way to see Grandmere putting Chase's book away. "Excuse me. Is this yours'? Chase no-name puppy had it in his paws."

Grandmere was startled that Franny had the picture in her hands. She held out a trembling hand to receive the picture. "Yes, this is mine."

Closing the door, Franny leaned over and gave the woman a hug. "There's more to this Grandmere stuff than Ben knows, isn't there?"

"My dear, you are very perceptive. May I ask how you guessed, was there something besides the picture?"

Franny shook her head. "You love him with your eyes every time you look at him or Chase. I've seen my grandmother look at us that way. And he has your eyes and your gentleness."

Grandmere took a closer look at Franny's face. "I suppose I should have noticed before." She held out her hand to Franny. "Does he love you as much as you love him?"

Startled Franny tried to pull her hand back, but found her hand caught in an iron grip. "He loves me," she stammered. "We haven't discussed it yet, tho."

"Don't wait. My grandson needs you. I think you are good for him."

"You do. Really?" Fidgeting on her feet Franny smiled. "Well, what do ya know? Thank you."

"Come here child," the woman pulled her close. She kissed Franny's forehead lightly. "I think you are just what Ben needs."

They both heard the sounds of Ben's wheelchair coming down the hall. Franny got behind Grandmere and pushed her to the door to meet Ben as Grandmere dropped the picture into the carry pocket on the side of her wheelchair.

Chapter 57

Ray searched the eyes of the receptionist as she told him to go right inside. Geesh, did she read their files he wondered. He walked past her with a rising of his shoulders.

He settled into the chair in front of the desk as usual and waited for her to notice him. She usually made him wait a minute or less. But she always made him wait. Ray guessed she used that time to gage how he was feeling that day. He knew she watched his body language.

When she acknowledged his presence, he gave her details, short to the point details.

Brianna watched detective Vecchio talk. His words came out more rapidly than usual and his body language was very tight and closed, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. She listened quietly making her notes.

Ray's speech pattern became more staccato and rough; his words while spoken softly were harsh. "I've spent most of my adult life protecting people, always felt I was one of the good guys, ya know. Hey, I've always known I'm not perfect." He watched her eyes carefully, wondering if she was really hearing him. "But I can't believe I actually did this?"

Bree laid her pencil down slowly, glad for the fact that the sun was streaming in the window at her back and must be throwing her face into shadow. She made a decision and raised a hand in Ray's direction.

"Ray, I think we better stop here. "

He threw a confused look in her direction. She'd heard him. Now he wondered what would happen.

"Ray, I can't begin to guess how you're feeling right now. I feel like I am crossing a line here. Ben is my patient, too. At this point, I wonder if I am wise to be seeing both of you. I need to keep a certain perspective Ray. I don't think I am going to be able to continue with you on this."

"You're saying you can't deal with what I did? Right?"

"No, I'm saying that what you might not be able to tell me what you feel knowing that what you say might affect how I deal with Benton and what he tells me now may affect how I deal with you. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. So what I want to do is schedule a session for you with another counselor. He's very good, you can trust him Ray."

"Yea, sure."

"Ray, I wouldn't suggest this if I didn't feel it would be in your best interest."

"Ok, thanks. Doc." Ray started to rise from his chair but was halted by Bree.

"Ray, you can make an appointment with the receptionist outside." Bree rose from her chair and walked around to stand next to Ray as he was about ready to leave her office. "To answer one of the questions you asked me earlier. No, I don't think Ben will disown you because of this. He just doesn't have it in his character."

"I know St. Benny," Ray said with a wry look.

Bree put her hand on his shoulder as he opened the door. "He knows he isn't a saint, Ray."

Chapter 58

Ben smiled as he looked at Franny standing behind Grandmere. He like the way she quietly helped out. Since he began living in the Vecchio home, Ben was able to see a different side of Franny than he had seen before. Since he had met her, she had been vexing, aggravating, taunting, provocative and downright hard to ignore. This new, quieter side to Francesca was definitely attractive. Ben was aware of her more now than ever before. She was not only beautiful, but also smart and warm and gentle. He knew she was still an aggravation to her siblings. But Ben thought they were too used to the old Franny to see the new one emerging.

Grandmere took in her grandson's smile and the way his eyes wandered to Francesca. Good," she thought. "We shall see." She watched the two young people, certain they were each aware of the other. "Benton, my dear, are you going to sit there all day?"

Ben flinched a little at her words and rolled back a bit. "Oh no. Excuse me Mam."

Grandmere beckoned Franny to push her out the door and directed Franny to push her out to the kitchen. Ben followed at a slower pace, a thoughtful look on his face.

The three of them sat around the table drinking tea. Grandmere was savoring hers in a delightfully slow way. Ben watched the two women drink their tea and thought no two women could be so different and yet so alike. He wondered what Grandmere had been like as a young girl.

Rosa Vecchio came in the back door carrying her groceries and smiled at her guests seated at the table drinking their tea. She noted with pleasure that Francesca was acting so modestly for a change. It also didn't escape her notice that Ben was more than a little interested in her daughter. With dismay, she remembered the events of the fight they had had with Raymundo. One of her children was going to be hurt. Poor Raymundo."

"Enjoying your tea." Rosa gavel each one her special smile, she loved nothing better than to see people she considered family relaxing at her kitchen table.

The phone rang and Rosa answered it. "Benton, dear, it is for you."

Ben made his way to the phone and put the receiver to his ear. His listeners in the kitchen heard nothing more of the conversation than Ben's replies of yes or no to several questions. When the phone call was over, Ben replaced the phone on the receiver and turned to face Grandmere with a strange look on his face.

Looking at Rosa and Franny, Ben told them about the phone call. "Someone at the hospital says an antidote is being rushed to the hospital for me. Grandmere they seemed to think you and Ray should know all about it. Do you?"

"Ray has pulled this all together Benton. He asked me not to say a word to you until we knew for sure that an antidote might be possible. Ray wants to tell you about it himself."

Ben's face took on the closed look everyone in the home had become familiar with during his stay. He shook his shoulders and dropped the look. "They want me to be ready to come in at a moments notice with the drug arrives."

Rosa walked over and leaned over to give Ben a hug. "I have a feeling this is going to be good news for you Benton."

As Ben looked up at her, Rosa cupped his face in her hands and laid her head gently atop his head. "Caro, mio figlio." Ben leaned into her hold on his face. "You are a child of my heart." Rosa said to Ben. "I will light a candle for tonight."

Chapter 59

In a more perfect world thought Ray as he slammed the Riv's car door, there would be two Benton Fraser's, one for Franny and one for himself. Ray looked up at the home he had lived in since he was born, and slowly walked up to the steps. He leaned back and let out a long sigh before climbing up to the porch. He strolled to one of the porch and sat down, holding his coat about him. Lately, he knew was fouling up. At least where Benny was concerned he knew he was fouling up on a grand scale. His sweet, adorable Ben wouldn't even let Ray's actions come between them. Benny said he understood. How can Benny understand when I can't understand myself, Ray thought.

Ray leaned his head back against the house and watched the cars go by on the street. He checked his watch. Should be an unmarked squad going by anytime now, he thought. He wanted to wait until he saw it go by before entering the house. He needed to know his family was being protected as promised by the Lieutenant and Inspector Thatcher.

While Ray watched the passing vehicles, he let his eyes roam the street. He spotted the squad down the street and the worker on the pole across the street. All of their protectors were precinct 27 people. He rose quietly and entered the house.

As Ray removed his coat, he glanced down the hall towards Ben's room. The lower area of the house was quiet. The smell of his mother's cooking permeated the foyer. Ma and her comfort food he thought. When he'd been a kid, Ray had felt all was right with his world when his smelled his mother's lasagna. It smelled like she was making a batch now. Ray let the smell pull him down the hallway into the kitchen without looking into Ben's room as he passed the door.

Ben was the first one to see Ray entering the kitchen as Rosa Vecchio withdrew her hug. He smiled at Ray with steely glinting eyes. Ben approached Ray and nearly whispered, "We have to talk Ray."

"Ok, Benny. Where?" Please don't say your room, Benny. Please don't. Ray's palms broke out in a sweat. Now's he mad and he's gonna kill me. He's thought it all over and he's gonna kill me."

Franny watched the interplay between the two men with interest. Ray was so tense and Ben seemed to be drawing on that tension. But Franny was sure that whatever the problem neither of them would give her an explanation. She remembered the look on Ben when she had entered Ben's room that afternoon. Whatever had happened in that room between them had been hard on them both.

Ben looked around the room at the women and making a quick decision, asked them to leave. When he and Ray were alone, he motioned Ray to sit down in a kitchen chair next to him.

When Ray was seated, Ben put his hand out and grabbed one of Ray's wrists in his hands. "I want the truth, Ray. When were you going to tell me about the antidote?"

Ray's body relaxed and he smiled at Benny. "They called. It must be on the way, huh."

"Yes, Ray. The hospital said it would be here soon and that I should be prepared to go there at a moment's notice. Answer my question, Ray."

"I didn't want you upset," Ray began. "I found out just in the last few days, that your Grandmere owns stock in the company that has been working on the drugs used on you. It would have taken us weeks to get them to budge and release drug samples. But Grandmere wrote a request to the company's officers requesting release of the material. Without her help, it would have taken more time." Ray laid his hand over Ben's on his wrist. "I got a good feeling about this, Ben."

Ben pulled away a little. "No secrets, Ray. Anything else I should know. How many people are watching this house?"

Ray reversed the hand grip and held Ben's wrist tightly in his hands. "How did you know that?"

"I may be in this chair Ray, but I still have eyes in my head. My room is being watched by someone in the house in back of this one. I've seen the lens's glinting in the windows. And I've seen someone in the windows of that house when Chase is outside. So tell me Ray, what aren't you telling me?"

"We have very few identifiable and usable pieces of evidence in this case. We have one dead perp who stole his get away vehicle, also with no identifying marks. We have a creep in jail that might or might not be connected to someone at the pharmaceutical company or with the military. And this guy isn't talking. We have one kidnapper dead, one victim attached twice. No finger prints, no paper trails." Ray took in a gulp of air, "We have a phone number which is registered to a fictitious company. We have one mountie uniform, sent to us straight from the dry cleaners and one pair of mountie boots, no prints, no mud, no nothing. The only witness we have to anything is a 7 year-old boy who saw them transfer you from one car to another. Gee other than that, this case is going great."

"Ray, that's not enough to warrant all the outside protection. What is going on?"

"For that you'll have to ask Thatcher and Welsh. I don't have clearance to the top on this one, Benny."

"You said the military might be involved in this? What country?"

"I don't know Benny. Michelle hired them, but they may have already been in place working for someone else. Someone in the pharmaceutical company was trying to black market these drugs."

"So where do we start, Ray."

"We don't start anywhere. You get well, I take care of the case."

Blue eyes glinted off of green eyes. The stubborn and proud Scot and the stubborn and proud Italian. "I want in on this Ray."

"Sorry, Benny. Thatcher made me swear on the RCMP manual to keep you out of this one." Ray sat back in his chair, "And that's one lady I don't want to cross. And if that's not enough for you, think Franny, very mad."

"Ah, I see your point, Ray." Benny said with a smile.

Chapter 60

The phone rang in the Vecchio home and every adult in it scurried to answer it. Ben was amused at the scurrying sounds of all those feet as once again the phone rang. But the silence that feel through the house when it wasn't he right call was deafening.

The call when it came was late at night. Most of the families' adults were upstairs preparing the children for bed.

Chase watched as Ray and Franny talked by the door of the room where he slept. He'd been listening to the whispers of the adults for several days. Quietly the little boy moved over to stand behind Franny and listened.

"I'm going with you Ray. I'll be down after I put the children down to sleep." She turned to walk away almost fell of little Chase. She leaned down and pulled him into her arms, kissing him on the check. Her eyes took in the worried expression on his little face.

"Questions, Chase?"

"Will my papa walk again now?"

Franny tilted her head so that her forehead rested on his. "I hope so, Chase."

"You won't leave him alone in that scary place, will you? He doesn't like it there you know."

"I know, and I promise I will watch and protect him, OK?"

"K" Chase put his head on her shoulder, his little eyes drooping.

Franny carried the little boy over to little cot he slept in and gently laid him down. Drawing the covers over him, she kissed him and left.

Ben had heard the phone ring and sat waiting and watching out his bedroom window. The night's thick shadowland was quiet and undisturbed outside the world of his room. His shoulders were tense, the muscles in his hands bunched as he flexed his fingers repeatedly.

Ray opened Ben's door with his coat and Ben's over his arm. Ben looked over his shoulder to see Ray enter and turned his chair.

"Let's get this show on the road." Ray said as he opened Ben's coat to help him put it on.

Ben sucked in the lower lip of his mouth as he took in a deep breath and nodded his head. Ray slipped his own coat on and stepped behind Ben and began pushing the chair.

Franny waited at the bottom of the stairs, pulling her coat on she looked up the stairwell to see her mother looking over the railing. She smiled up at her, then she leaned down to pick up Ben's overnight bag that had been waiting by the door. We're as ready as we'll ever be, she thought.

She opened the front door as Ray and Ben came into the foyer. The three of them left quietly, Franny easing the door closed behind her.

At the hospital, Ben was met by one of the team of doctors who had been working on his case.

"We're going to admit you into a private room. Then after you're settled we'll run a few tests with this drug they sent us. When we're satisfied that everything is ready, then we will begin your treatment. Any questions?"

"Yea, how safe is this stuff?" Ray said in a quiet voice.

"No statistics available. This is a research drug and quite honestly, if it weren't for the pull the constable here has being a Canadian citizen, we might not be doing this."

Ben pulled his eyes away from the doctor's face when he felt Franny's fingers on his shoulder. He looked up into her face and then into Ray's. Ben nodded and asked to the doctor to get things rolling. "Understood, doctor, let's begin." Ben put his hand on Franny's fingers and looked into Ray's eyes.

Chapter 61

Ray was anxiously reading the information the doctor had brought in for Ben to read and sign. Yata Yata, Ray thought reading the release forms. Why don't they just say, this is dangerous, do you agree to let us possible maim or kill you if the procedure doesn't work. Sign here. With a disgruntled sigh he handed clipboard back to Ben who skimmed the paper and signed it. Franny watched her brother and Ben from her chair next to Ben's bed; she took Ben's hand into hers. It was still dark outside the hospital windows and the fluorescent lighting was directly over Ben's head. She was sure Ben was paler than normal.

One of the floor nurses entered the room to ask if Ben had read and signed the form. Ben didn't verbally answer her; he merely held the clipboard out to her. She smiled one of those reassuring nurse/doctor it'll be all right smiles and left them.

A few minutes later, the doctor and several nurses entered Ben's room. One of the nurses pushed a wheeled cart with lots of medical paraphernalia on it. Ben pulled himself up on the bed and squeezed Franny's hand. Ray sat up straighter in his chair. Neither of the Vecchio siblings were leaving the room, Ben had made that explicitly clear to the doctors from the time he was settled in his room.

The doctor kept his eyes on Ben as began putting rubber gloves on his hands. "Ok, I know you read and signed the release. But I want to ask you one more time if this is what you want?"

"Yes, I want the chance, however slim."

"All Right. First we assess what level of motor movement you have." The doctor moved to the end of the bed and pulled the covers off of Ben's legs. "Move one of both of them Ben." Both legs twitched, but neither moved appreciably or lifted off the bed." The doctor looked, "OK, lets move here." The doctor turned to the medical cart and began filling three syringes. "Ben, this is the drug we are going to use. This treatment will be three series of three shots, that will mean three shots in each hip, and three shots near the base of you spine. I've gone over the literature sent by the pharmaceutical company several times and I can tell you that 4 out 5 patients that were treated with this had no complications or adverse reactions. The fifth patient experienced high levels of pain, burning sensations and some nausea. The fifth patient fully recovered. Two patients attained some mobility that had been lost and two patients remained the same after the treatment."

"How soon will we have some idea of this is going to work?" Ray asked in a whisper.

"My guess would be about an hour after the first series of shots, we should know something. Then in 24 hours we do the second series and 24 after that we do the 3rd series." The doctor waited a minute so if Ben was going to ask any questions.

Ben looked straight into the doctor's eyes, "Let's do it."

"Ok, Ben. You're going to need to roll over and lie as still as you can while I administer the shots. "

Ben turned his torso to face the pillows and one of the nurses helped turn his legs and covered his lower body with heavy blankets. Ben put his left arm around his pillow and put his right hand out for Franny to take. The nurses swabbed the shot sights with alcohol, which made Ben shiver as the air waved over his back

When he felt the prick of the first shot in his left hip, Ben flinched but kept his body still. The shot in his right hip stung. The doctor then warned him that the shot near the base of his spine was going to hurt like hell. Ray grabbed Ben's left hand as Ben held on to the pillow and held on tightly as the doctor inserted the needle, which was the longest needle of three syringes. Ben found himself biting his lip and shuddering as he tried not to move as sweat beads popped out on his forehead.

"Ok, you can relax now," he put the syringe down on the tray. As Ben rolled over, the doctor could see the beads of sweat running down Ben's face. He watched as Ray and Franny settled Ben back into a comfortable position on the bed. The nurse rolled the cart over to a corner of the room and left. "I'll check on you in about an hour, call if you need me before that."

The door to Ben's room swung closed as the doctor left. Three pairs of eyes noted the time on the room's wall clock. They were silent.

"So we wait." Ray was the first to break the silence.

"Ray, did I ever tell you about the time I waited 9 days for a criminal to come out of a cabin?" Ben asked with a mischievous grin.

"Oh God, Franny. Here comes an Fraser story, I just know it."

Three quarters of an hour later, Ben began to feel sick to his stomach and felt his leg muscles burning. Ben's face broke out in a sweat and he smiled. "I hurt like hell," he whispered, "My legs hurt."

Franny leaned over and kissed his hair, Ray left the room to get the doctor.

To be continued in PHOENIX