While Fraser went off to get firewood, Ray huddled near the fire with the dogs and tried to get used to being motionless. Even in his sleep he often felt as if he were still on the dogsled, moving, moving forever. Sometimes he felt that his life before the dogsled had been a dream. What was warmth anyway? Not something in this world.

He knew it was dangerous to think that way. Crazy.

But not as crazy as seeing shadowy figures racing alongside the sled.

It had to be the snow, blinding white as far as he could see, studded here and there with tree bark or rocks. His eyes made up things to break the monotony, to get rid of the feeling that they were actors on a treadmill in an old movie with the same backdrop running behind them over and over.

Blitzen set his head on Ray's lap. All the dogs had names Ray couldn't pronounce, so he'd renamed them. Considering their quest, he hadn't really felt comfortable naming one of them "Donner," but he felt like he needed the whole set, so he did anyway.

When Diefenbaker barked, Ray looked up. What he saw almost stopped his heart. A horde of glittering eyes ringed the windbreak Fraser had made for them. Ray saw moose, bears, hawks, caribou, otters, and dozens of other animals. They all seemed to be watching him. A big black bird sat across from him.

"You're far from home, hatchling," it said.

//Well, sanity, it was nice knowin' ya.// But the bird was the first thing aside from Fraser who'd talked back to him for days and days, so he spoke with it. "Yer talkin' to me?" //That was brilliant.//

"No, I'm talking to all the other Americans sitting in this circle."

"Oh. Good." //I'm fucking nuts.//

"Is your mate really worth all this? The loss of your home, your mind, your life?"

This made about as much sense as what he'd seen the one time he'd tripped in college. There was a reason he never tried it again. "My mate?"

"Are you just going to echo what I say?"

"I don't know what ya mean."

"You know what I mean."

Ray got the feeling that the bird didn't mean "friend" when he said "mate." Fraser? Ray hadn't really thought about it, hadn't given it a name. Words often let him down, twisted into different things with different meanings just before they left his mouth. They didn't cover everything he really wanted to say. But, yeah, it seemed that he did see Fraser as his mate. Why else would he be here?

"You gave up everything to be here with him, make him happy," the bird said.

Ray remembered the look on Fraser's face after they'd jumped out of the plane. Total joy. "I'm home," he'd said. Ray would do anything to keep that look there.

"If I went back to Chicago without him, *then* I would've been givin' up everything."

"How sweet. How suicidal. You can't survive on your own here. You're dependent on him for everything."

True. Ray closed his eyes. He hated being dependent, hated feeling helpless, hated being a burden, hated the thought that he slowed Fraser down. Fraser had taught him how to do some things for himself, but he knew he'd be dead meat out here alone.

"Yer point?"

"You need help, a totem. I offer you the services of one of the beings around you. You can choose which one."

"Yer kiddin' me." //I've lost it. I'm talkin' to myself, have to be.// "Why don't ya show yerself to Fraser? He's big on this stuff."

"He's too bound to what he sees as rational. You're more in touch with instinct, intuition. I like you, boy. Choose one and call him in."

Something was wrong here. "What's the catch?"

"What?"

"The catch, the price. Nobody gives nothin' away free."

"You're no longer on the mean streets of your home. You dishonor me and yourself by refusing the gift."

Something... Ray looked at the animals ringing the camp. A ring, a circle... Fraser had used fallen branches and packed snow to make a windbreak around the site. A circular windbreak.

Ray understood. . //Did he do it on purpose against somethin' like this?// "If I call one of them in, I break the circle and lose all my protection, don't I? Don't I?" //And Stella thought my taste in reading was useless.//

The bird squawked. "If that's so, why am I in here with you?"

That set Ray back until he remembered the afternoon on the sled. Sled time usually passed in a white blur of motion, but he remembered seeing a black bird flying near him. He had to have been delirious, because he'd croaked, "It's a squab. Here, birdie, birdie..." //Teach me to see _The Crow_ so damned many times.//

"I invited ya earlier."

"And so many people complain that teachers are neglecting the classics. Well then, *I* can help you. Wouldn't it feel good to be the one who charts the correct course to the hand of glory?"

"Hand of glory?"

"The hand of Franklin. The reaching out one."

Ray didn't intend to accept any help from this creature. "Who are ya, anyway?"

The bird seemed to stand prouder. "I am Raven."

"That's what ya are; I asked who ya are."

"Maybe some of the classics *have* been neglected." The bird shook its glossy head. "Why explorers always feel the need to give names to things that already have them... That *is* my name. But Franklin called me many things, especially at the end. He named me 'One for Sorrow,' though."

"That's cheerful... Wait a minute. Ya spoke to Franklin?"

The raven seemed to smile. "I spoke to all of them. What's your name, hatchling?"

Heart pounding, Ray backed up. "I don't think I wanna talk to you no more."

"Is that any way to speak to a guest at your fire? I gave my name; you give yours. It's fair." When the raven moved closer, the sled dogs started to bark and growl, baring their teeth.

Ray wished he had his gun, but he didn't carry one now, not when he didn't have the Canadian permits. //What would ya do with it anyway? It's a fucking demon bird!// "The dogs don't like you much."

"The feeling's mutual. Don't be foolish. Many of your kind prayed for my help, and I'm here offering it to you unasked."

The raven moved closer, and the dogs went into a frenzy. Yet they couldn't rush near and snap at it. Rudolph and Dancer in particular strained to attack, but something held them all back. As the raven moved even closer, the dogs had to retreat. Ray couldn't explain his terror either; he just knew that if it touched him, he'd be lost forever.

Ray wanted to yell to Fraser, but what if this was all in his own head? He couldn't bear it if Fraser thought he was a loony.

Worse, what if it was real, and Fraser couldn't do anything against it? //Oh God, Frase, stay away. Save yerself from me.//

******************************************************

As Fraser searched for firewood, he heard the pleasant murmur of Ray's voice in the distance the whole time, though he'd walked too far out of range to make out words. The thought of Ray being here, with him, made him so warm inside.

But even through the bliss of being home again and being home with Ray, he worried about Ray more and more every day as he watched his once ebullient partner turn ever more still and quiet, slowly withdrawing into himself. It shamed him that it had taken him days to see the warning signs. //I was too damned self- involved and happy to bother thinking. He gave up his whole life for me, and now my home is killing him. What kind of man lets the person he loves sacrifice everything for him? I can't let this continue.//

Then Fraser heard a riot of growling and barking. He hefted his axe and ran back to camp, prepared to butcher anything that threatened Ray. The sight that greeted him when he arrived set him back. Ray, Diefenbaker, and the dogs all backed up as one and stared at... nothing. There was nothing there.

"Ray?"

Ray turned to look, and terror ran through his eyes. Then he took a good look at Fraser, shook his head, hid his fear as best he could, and turned away again. "Ya don't see--" Ray winced. He must not have meant to say that. "I'm fine, Frase. Just fine."

//Oh, no.// "But I do see it, Ray."

"No, ya don't. It's gone now. Nice try, though."

When Fraser put an arm around Ray's shoulder, he felt his partner still quivering. "We'll set up camp elsewhere," Fraser said.

"Yer just humoring me."

"No, not at all. I do think something happened here tonight. I'll move our camp." Fraser remembered how Ray had been during their race to get to Muldoon when hypothermia had hit him and first thought that something similar afflicted his mind now. Except... except that Diefenbaker and the dogs had seen it too.

//Tomorrow I'll set a course for the nearest settlement. It's about time I started looking after you.//

**********************THE END***********************

More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room at http://members.tripod.com/~drovar/viridian/

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