Category: comedy with a sliver of drama
Rating: S for silly and G.
Notes: New Ray. I Coulda Been a Defendant', Bounty Hunter',
and Easy Money' spoilers.
Synopsis: Fraser and Turnbull get back at the Americans!
Ben and Ren's Sleepover Party
by: Marie-Andrée
www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Network/9492 uskeba@hotmail.com
"Frannie!" Ray yelled. "Just leave it alone!"
"Face it, big brother..."
"Agh! I don't even live with her! Couldn't I just have a second
of peace and quiet to finish this stupid report?"
"You know Ray, peace is not just the absence of conflict, it's
also the presence of justice.'" All bickering in the squad room stopped,
and everyone focussed on Fraser who was standing by Ray's desk, a dead-pan
expression on his face.
"Fraser, where the hell did you hear that one?"
"Oh, Air Force One'." Ray raised his eyebrows.
"You've seen that movie?"
"Actually, yes, Ray. Turnbull's cardboard box was being fumigated
this weekend, so I was stuck with him at the Consulate. We decided a
good way to pass the time would be to rent a video. You know, the actress
who played the First Lady bore an uncanny resemblance to Janet Morse..."
Huey started to laugh and everyone, even Fraser, looked at him like he'd
grown a second head.
"What's so funny, Jack?" Fraser asked. Huey was now laughing
so hard he had tears streaming down his face.
"You and Turnbull having a sleepover party! What did you do,
sit around in red longjohns discussing the Mountie handbook?!" Everyone
except Fraser saw the humour in this and began to laugh. The Mountie
simply looked indignant.
"Of course not. We sat around in shorts and tee-shirts--" More
laughs. "And discussed... things. I never thought I could have an actual
conversation with Renfield Turnbull." "What kind of things'?"
Ray teased.
"You know, *things*."
"Like what?"
"You know..."
"No, we don't know, Frasier," Francesca ribbed.
"Women!" Fraser yelled, exasperated, much to everyone's
surprise. "Ah, come on, Fraser! You and Turnbull wouldn't know
what a woman looks like if one came up and bit you."
"As a matter of fact, Vecchio', I know perfectly well what a
woman is. A woman has long dark hair and the most beautiful voice.
A woman is cruel, cold, pushy, and sturdy. She has the softest skin
and beautiful hands." The laughs stopped.
"Ah, man, I'm sorry." Fraser ignored him.
"As for Turnbull, did anyone of you know he's been married?"
Stunned looks. "She died almost ten years ago. She and their unborn
child were hit by a drunk hit and run driver." "God..." Francesca
said quietly.
"I know you all have fun making jokes about Turnbull and me, but
none of you know us. Turnbull's a great guy, out of uniform." As though
on cue, the said Mountie entered the squad room, dressed to everyone's
surprise in jeans, high top running shoes, and a tee-shirt. "Ah, Ren!
Speak of the devil." Turnbull smiled shyly at everyone in the room.
"You look like you're busy, Ben..."
"Nonsense, I said I'd go, didn't I?"
"Thanks, I didn't think anyone I knew would come to my opening."
"What kind of opening?" Francesca asked.
"Some of my paintings are being put on display..."
"You paint, Constable?" Welsh asked.
"Yes, Sir. I indeedy-do." Welsh nodded.
"Well, let's all go, then."
Ren and Ben followed everyone out of the squad room, and Ren
leaned quietly over. "How'd you do it?"
"Told em you're a widower." Ren laughed.
"You lied?"
"Sort of. I mean... Yes, I lied." Fraser blushed.
"Well, it's less embarrassing than admitting that my fiance abandoned
me because I was too weird!" Fraser laughed.
"I think they'll leave us alone now."
"God I hope so."
"Americans are weird, aren't they, Ben?" Fraser rolled his eyes.
"They sure are."
End!
Air Force One' directed by Wolfgang Petersen. Starring Harrison Ford,
Gary Oldman, Wendy Crewson, and Glenn Close.