This is my first ever slash story. I need to thank Maria and Sylvia C. for their encouragement and, well.....begging, and also Linda for her encouragement. And Chris BJ for her suggestions. This story is rated NC-17. It's written from RayK's POV.

RayK and Fraser belong to Alliance, but I think they really belong to each other.

I live for feedback Albertacr@home.com

A Matter of Trust

by Alberta

I been sitting here almost four hours waiting on Fraser. He told me he'd be home by ten and it's almost 2AM now. I'm trying not to worry, he can take care of himself. But four hours? I been resisting calling the hospitals 'cause I know he's okay. I also been resisting being pissed 'cause I know when he walks in the door he'll have a good excuse for being so late.

I coulda gone to dinner with him and his old buddy from Timbuktu...um, Tuktoyaktuk, but I got the feeling I woulda been intruding. I mean, Fraser invited me to go with them, but Jarrod was a different story...I could tell he wanted Fraser all to himself. I mean, I'm not stupid...it's obvious the guy's got eyes for my Mountie. But I trust Fraser. And it's a good thing I do, 'cause that Jarrod can make anybody worry. He's so damn tall, and he's got that dark wavy hair and them dark eyes with that sparkle thing happening, and I'm not even gonna think about that body of his. Cool it, Kowalski, you're getting unhinged.

I look over and see Dief lying on the floor by the door. He's waiting for Fraser too. I go over in my head for about the hundredth time what he said to me before they left. He said they were just going to dinner and that he shouldn't be later than ten. Where are you, Fraser? I'm trying to keep myself from panicking 'cause this is really unMountie like behavior. I tell myself that if he doesn't walk in that door by two o'clock...which is exactly ten minutes from now....I'm gonna go looking for him. I don't know where, but I can't sit here in the dark anymore. Maybe Dief can sniff him out.

I hear the key in the door. He's home....finally. I watch as he comes in and leans over to pet Dief. He starts walking towards the bedroom and then he sees me sitting in the chair.

"Ray, why are you sitting in the dark?"

That's not what he's supposed to say. He's supposed to be apologizing all over the place. He's four hours late for chrissakes. I wait...he waits. I guess I gotta talk.

"You okay, Fraser?" I ask him calmly.

"Yes, Ray."

"Jarrod okay?"

"Yes, Jarrod is fine."

"You wanna tell me why the fuck you're getting home four hours late?" I'm trying to sound calm, but I can hear my screaming insides affecting my voice.

"Ray, I'm terribly sorry about that...I guess we just lost track of time," he says.

"You lost track of time? Four hours....four hours, Fraser. I been sitting here waiting on your ass for four fucking hours." Now I'm raising my voice. He walks around the couch and sits down, facing me. I'm shaking I'm so pissed.

"I know you're angry...you have every right to be, but I hadn't seen Jarrod in many years and the time just....."

"I don't wanna hear about the time, Fraser," I yell. "Why didn't you call?"

"I'm sorry, Ray."

"That's no answer." I'm still yelling.

"I have no answer for you, Ray. Jarrod and I were reminiscing and we just lost....."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you lost track of time. And it never occurred to you that I was waiting for you? You told me you'd be here by ten. That was four fucking hours ago."

"So you've told me, Ray."

"So, you got nothing to say to me that's gonna make me feel better?" I'm really pissed at him now...so I'm trying not to look at him 'cause he looks so damn good in his jeans and leather jacket, and his hair is falling on his forehead and....oh jeez, why don't I just forgive him and jump him right now.

"All I can say is I'm sorry, which I will say again, I'm sorry, Ray. I understand why you're angry with me...there's really no excuse for me not calling. Does that help?"

I jump outta my chair.

"No." And I head to the bedroom.

He's off the couch in a second and runs in front of me, blocking my way.

"Fraser, get outta my way. I wasted enough time on you tonight. I gotta get some sleep."

He won't move. He's putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Ray, please...please don't be angry with me. I thought about you tonight....I thought about what you and I would do when I returned home."

Oh, shit. He's starting to kiss my ear. He knows I can't resist him when he kisses my ear. The only thing worse than that is when he....oh, jeez, he's doing that now...he's sticking that hot, wet tongue in my ear. Oh damn, that feels good. But I remember I'm supposed to be mad at him.

"Fraser, I, uh....I told you......oomph."

He's kissing my mouth now, not just kissing it, he's devouring it. Oh man, that's so good. Oh yeah, Frase. His hands are moving down my back and he's squeezing my ass.... pulling me closer to him...oh man, this is just so good. I'm forgetting what I just said to him...I think I was mad at him about something. What was it? Oh yeah, he was a couple minutes late. Forget that.

Now he's rubbing against me and I'm heating up really fast. I reach up and push his jacket off his shoulders and pull his shirt outta his jeans. I move my hands along the smooth skin of his back. Oh man, he's moaning now. That really makes me crazy. I hear myself moaning too. I think we better bring this into the bedroom before.....

The phone rings. Oh jeez, who can be calling this late....whoever it is, it must be bad news.

"Yeah," I answer.

Goddammit to hell. It's fucking Jarrod. I glare at Fraser and shove the phone at him.

"It's your fucking friend." I know I shouldn't 've said that, but he has to call now? He just left Fraser five fucking minutes ago. This is too much.

Fraser takes the phone from me...I make sure I glare at him good and hard. Then I storm off to the bedroom and slam the door.

I'm lying in bed and I hear Fraser talking on the phone...I can't hear what he's saying 'cause he's talking low. I wonder if it's 'cause he doesn't want me to hear him, but then I realize it's late and he normally talks quiet on the phone anyway. Then I don't hear anything for about a minute. I hope he's not leaving.

He's knocking on the bedroom door.

"Ray, I'm coming in," he says. I don't say anything.

He opens the door and the light from the hall is streaming into the bedroom. He's standing in the doorway looking at me. I roll over on my side away from him. I hear him walking over towards me and he sits down on the edge of the bed. Oh jeez, he's rubbing my back. Feels fucking great. I'll just let him keep doing it for now.

"Ray, Jarrod just called to tell me I forgot my wallet, and he didn't want me to worry when I found I didn't have it. He's bringing it to the Consulate tomorrow. And he asked me to apologize to you for calling so late." He's talking real soothing to me. I love that.

But I don't say anything. He's still rubbing my back....oh yeah.

"Ray?"

I roll over and look up at him. Damn, he's fucking gorgeous. He's looking down at me like he's worried or something. I stare at him...man, I want him so bad. I guess it shows on my face 'cause he smiles and I guess I smile back. He leans over and starts kissing me on my mouth, sweet like, but it doesn't take long for me to let him know I want more. I want a lot more. I caress his mouth with my tongue and he opens it for me. My accommodating Mountie. We're kissing real passionate now, I'm so hot for Frase I'm melting. While we're kissing, I unbutton his shirt and slide it down his arms. He sits up and takes it all the way off. Then he grabs my t-shirt and pulls it over my head. I'm sitting up now and I'm sucking on his throat, making a trail with my tongue up the side of his neck to his ear. He's moaning and I'm breathing so hard I can barely talk. So I whisper in his ear, "Love you, Frase." He gasps like I never said that before. He's devouring my mouth again and I'm unbuttoning and zipping down his jeans. He stands up with his mouth still on mine and starts pushing his jeans down. He pulls them off with his boxers at the same time and I'm looking at my gorgeous, naked Mountie, and shit, he's ready for me. He pulls the comforter back and pulls off my sweats, and shit, I'm ready for him too. I grab his arms and pull him down on top of me.

"Oh yeah, Frase." He feels so good.

I don't think I can hold out too much longer...we're both sweating now, both breathing hard. He's rubbing against me in just the right places, and he's sucking and biting my neck. I'm moaning loud now and he's licking me up to my ear again. I turn my head to make it easy for him. He's got one hand in my hair and the other's holding onto my ass. Feels so good being held in the Mountie's big hands. Both my arms are around his waist and my hands are roaming all over his back. His hot, wet tongue is in my ear again and it's making me crazy. He starts thrusting hard against me. And I start thrusting hard against him. The only thing I'm aware of now is his amazing tongue in my ear and the fucking unbelievable feeling of our bodies hammering against each other. He's moaning loud now and I'm doing the same. He takes his tongue outta my ear and starts kissing my mouth again.

"Ray...."

Oh yeah, Frase, yeah, I'm here. I come hard and I hear myself scream his name. About a second later I feel him coming too, and he's screaming out that he loves me. If the neighbors didn't know it before, they know it now. This is what I'd call a perfect ending to an otherwise lousy night.

********************

I wake up to hear Fraser whispering in my ear. He says he's gonna put some coffee on and he'll be back after he takes Dief out for a quick walk. I nod keeping my eyes closed, and he kisses me lightly on my mouth. Makes me smile. I open my eyes and look over at the clock...damn, it's six thirty....which means we only got about three and a half hours sleep. I better take it easy at work today. I gotta take a shower, but my body's telling me I don't wanna take it alone. I lift up the comforter and look down...oh yeah, I definitely don't wanna take it alone.

I start drifting back to sleep when I feel Fraser get into bed next to me. Hmmm, maybe we can take care of things now.....

"Ray," he's whispering in my ear, "Let's take a shower."

I smile and open my eyes. "Good idea, Frase, glad you thought of it."

We head for the shower. Fraser already took his clothes off before he woke me. My efficient Mountie. He puts the water on and waits for it to heat up. Then he gets in and pulls me in after him.

The water feels great. I stand there with my face looking up into spray...Fraser's behind me, and I feel him start to soap me up. He starts with my face and my neck and shoulders and works his way down...shit, his hands feel fucking amazing. If we could bottle Fraser's hands, we'd make a fortune. He's doing my ass now but he doesn't move around to the front and then continues down to my thighs.

"Hey, Frase....."

"Be patient, Ray," he says to me. S'okay, I could do patient. Just so long as I know it's coming....or we'll be coming....I should say.

He finishes with my feet.

"Put out your hand," he says, so I do. He turns it palm up and pours some shampoo into it.

"Wash your hair while I wash myself," he says. Looks like Fraser's calling the shots this morning. Take charge Mountie. That's cool with me.

I finish washing and rinsing my hair. Fraser moves me around so he can rinse himself off. Then he turns me back to face the shower. My considerate Mountie...he knows I like the water hitting my chest.

His hands are in front of me now and he's soaping them up again. He puts the soap down and his hands disappear for a minute...then they're back and he's soaping me up right.....oh yeah, Frase....there.....ooooh.....

One hand continues to take care of me while the other wraps around my waist and pulls me closer to him...I feel him sticking me between my cheeks, feels so good, slippery from the soap. I grab onto the small towel rack with one hand and my other hand goes behind to hold onto Fraser. We develop a rhythm and it's working real good. My eyes are closed and my head's lying back on his shoulder. Then he puts that tongue of his in my ear...he's moving it in and out fast, and he's breathing hard at the same time. The combination of the hot water, Fraser's hand, his tongue and hot breath in my ear, his rubbing between my cheeks....it's all so fucking unbelievable. I turn my head so we're kissing now. And his tongue is in my mouth, and I'm moaning so loud now, I can hardly hear the water. But I can feel it hitting my chest and then I'm coming so hard, I'm bucking into Fraser, and I almost fall on my ass. But he holds me up with his arm around my waist and now he's coming too, screaming out my name. Love that. Now I'm the one holding us both up hanging onto the towel rack. We come back down to earth and I turn around and face Fraser. He's smiling and he wraps his arms around me and gives me a slow, lingering, passionate kiss....oh yeah. He's letting me know he loves me. And I let him know right back.

********************

I'm walking into the living room, dressed and ready....well, sorta ready, for work. Dief's lying on the couch looking like he wants to sack out for the day. Know what ya mean, Dief. I go to pour some coffee...it's late so I guess we'll have to drink it in the car. When I walk over to the breakfast bar I see the light blinking on the answering machine. I guess the call came in while Frase and I were in the shower. I stop for a sec while I think about the shower...oh yeah, a perfect start to any day.

I push the play button. Shit, it's Jarrod.

"Ben, I'm sorry to call so early but I wanted to tell you that I have to go out for most of the morning, so instead of bringing your wallet to the Consulate, I'll just put it here on the coffee table where you left it. You can use the key I gave you to pick it up anytime. Talk to you, later."

My head snaps up. I'll just put it here on the coffee table where you left it....... Fuck.

I hear Fraser behind me and I turn around. I can tell by the look on his face that he heard the message too. You know, that deer in headlights look. He's not talking, just staring at me. So I talk.

"You were in his hotel room, Fraser?" I ask, quiet for now.

"Ray......" He stops.

"You went to his fucking hotel room last night and you didn't tell me? And he gave you a fucking key?" I thought you just went to dinner with him." Now I'm raising my voice.

"Ray, it was getting late and the restaurant was closing so we decided to....."

"It was getting late, Fraser? Didn't you tell me you lost track of time?" I'm yelling now. He goes to say something but I don't let him. "And why'd you take your wallet out in his hotel room? Were you paying for something, Fraser?"

His eyes open real wide.

"Ray, I don't like what you're insinuating....."

"Tough shit, Fraser. I don't like you lying to me." I yell.

"Ray, I didn't lie to you." He's yelling back.

"The hell you didn't....you let me think you just went to the restaurant. Why didn't you tell me you went to his hotel room, Fraser? Why'd you hide it from me? Something musta happened." I feel sick when I hear myself say those words.

"Ray, nothing happened. And the reason I didn't tell you was because I knew you're react in an irrational manner, and apparently I was right."

"No, Fraser. I'm reacting to you lying to me. I probably woulda understood if you told me the truth in the first place." Yeah, sure Kowalski.

"Ray, you know very well you wouldn't have understood especially in light of how angry you were at my arriving home so late. I was planning to tell you that I went to Jarrod's hotel room."

"Yeah, when Fraser? When you thought I'd find out anyway?"

I'm really pissed now, and I'm hurt. And I don't wanna be yelling at Fraser anymore. But I can't help it.

"And why'd he give you a fucking key? You planning on going back there?"

"No, Ray...he gave it to me so I took it," he says.

"What kinda answer is that?" I yell louder.

"Ray, please. Nothing happened....."

"You're wrong, Fraser, something did happen," I interrupt him. "You lied to me." I swipe my keys from the kitchen counter and grab my jacket.

"Ray....."

I just keep going without turning around. I'm out the door before I hear him say anything else.

********************

I been sitting at my desk for almost two hours getting nothing done. All I can think about is Fraser. I'm not as mad as I was earlier...oh, I'm still pissed....but I know Fraser didn't do anything with Jarrod. I knew it this morning, too, but I got so unhinged that Fraser lied to me....well, sorta lied to me....I guess he would call it a lie of emission...um, omission. I think about that Jarrod guy. He's after Fraser alright, and no way I'm gonna let him get his hands on my Mountie. He's my Mountie.

Someone's dropping files on my desk and I look up to see Frannie eyeing me funny.

"What, Frannie?" I ask. She's interrupting my important thoughts here.

"Working hard, Ray?" she asks, her eyebrow raised like she knows I'm not.

"Yeah, Frannie, so be nice and go back to your desk like a good little civilian aide," I say to her, sweet as sugar. It doesn't work...she's still eyeing me.

"Fraser coming by today?" she asks me. I can see that hopeful, hungry look in her eye...she always gets that look when she's talking about Fraser. I even know when she's thinking about him 'cause she gets that same look. Poor Frannie, if she only knew.

"I don't think so, Frannie. He's busy at the Consulate. So how 'bout you turning around and walking away so I can get some work done," I say as I motion my hand in a little circle. Maybe she understands Dief talk.

"Okay, okay, I can take a hint," she says while she's walking back to her desk. A hint? I practically dropped kicked her back to her desk.

I'm thinking about Fraser again. But I don't know what to think. He apologized for being late and he explained why he didn't tell me about the hotel room. The Mountie knows me...I woulda been all over him if he told me last night that he was in Jarrod's room. I guess he was dealing the best way he could. My real problem is with Jarrod. Gotta stop him before he makes me do something I'll regret. His answering machine message said he'd be away most of the morning, so I decide to pay him a visit in the afternoon.

I suddenly realize my phone's been ringing.

"Vecchio."

"Ray, are you calmer now?" It's Fraser still sounding pissed, but he's making an effort.

"Yeah, Fraser, I'm better." I say. But that's all I say.

"Ray, I made an error in judgment and for that I'm sorry. Perhaps I should've told you last night...."

"Nah, Frase, you were right. I woulda gone ballistic if you told me last night that you were in Jarrod's hotel room. You said you were gonna tell me...I knew you woulda gotten around to it."

I really wanna make up with him now.

"Yes, Ray, I was planning to tell you tonight. And I apologize again for being so late," he says.

"That's okay, Frase, you already made that up to me....twice," I say. I know I'm grinning like an idiot when I say that.

Now it's my turn to apologize. "I'm sorry I acted like something happened with Jarrod last night...I know it didn't. I trust you, Frase...and I know you'd never betray my trust. This is for keeps."

"Forever, Ray," he says. We're both quiet for a little while. "So, I'll see you tonight then?" he asks me.

"Yeah, Fraser. I'll pick you up after work. You owe me another apology in person," I say.

"Yes, Ray," he says. This morning he was take charge Mountie, now he's obedient Mountie. Can't decide which one I like better. I guess it's a draw.

********************

It's three o'clock and I'm on my way up to Jarrod's room. I have to play this cool, can't barge in there and accuse him of anything....even though it's obvious he's after Fraser's gorgeous ass.

I knock on the door and wait. I can hear music playing inside. I knock again. The music gets quieter and a few seconds later the door opens. Jarrod's standing there looking surprised to see me. Then his expression changes to a weird kinda smile.

"Ray...this is a surprise," He says and he's looking around the hall. "Are you alone?"

"Yeah, gotta talk to you about something," I say, nice for now. Wanna do this right for Fraser's sake.

"Of course, come in." He steps back and lets me in. I look around...nice room..uh, suite. "Can I get you something to drink?" he asks me.

"No thanks," I say.

He's walking over to the bar and I take a good look at him. He's wearing faded jeans that know just what places to hug and a black t-shirt....the shirt knows its stuff too. He's definitely hot. But I know Fraser loves me and I trust him. Different story with this Jarrod guy though.

"So, Ray, you said you need to discuss something with me?" Nice smile. I can see why anybody would wanna be with him in his hotel room...suite...'til two in the morning.

"Uh, yeah...."

"Why don't we sit down?" he motions to the couch.

"Okay, sure." I sit on the couch and he sits in a chair facing me. "Jarrod, I know you and Fraser are old friends." Good start, I think.

"Yes, Ben and I go way back. We haven't seen each other for about eleven years...I was thrilled that I was able to combine a business trip with seeing Ben again. I have to say, he's changed quite a bit and in a good way."

"Yeah, well, I guess you know that Fraser and I have a....a thing....a relationship." I say.

"Yes, Ben told me," he says.

"Okay, good. Well, Fraser and I are really close and, uh, we been together for a while, well, first as partners and friends, and the last few months we been more than friends." Oh jeez, I'm really struggling here. "And, um, he means a lot to me and....."

"Yes, I'm sure he does, Ray, and he told me he feels the same way about you," he says.

"He did?" Maybe I was wrong about this guy. But I came here to say something and I'm gonna say it.

"He did, Ray, and I can certainly understand what he sees in you."

"So I was wondering if you were interested in Frase, ya know, as more than a friend....." I stop talking 'cause I just realized what he just said.

"You do?"

"Yes, Ray. And I was hoping you and I would get a chance to be alone together," he says, and now he's smiling at me like I'm an ice cream cone and he wants to lick me.

"Wait....wait a minute," I say. I'm not believing this. He wants me, not Fraser? "You wanted to be alone with me?"

"Yes, very much, Ray," he gets outta his chair and he's coming over to sit next to me.

"Hold it a sec. If you wanna be with me, why'd you keep Fraser out 'til two in the morning?" I ask him.

"Well, I like to shake things up," he says smiling again, and his eyes are doing that twinkling thing. I'm not letting it affect me 'cause now I'm getting pissed.

"What kinda game you playing, Jarrod?"

"I wouldn't exactly call it a game, Ray, I'd call it more of a strategy," he says.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask him and I sound really pissed off now 'cause I am.

"Well, if I can create some friction between two people, it makes it easier to distract one away from the other," he explains to me.

"So, you're saying you used Fraser to make problems between us to make things easier for you to cut in?" I ask.

"Exactly," he says.

"You're fucking nuts."

"Well, you're here aren't you?" he says, and now he's moving closer to me.

"Yeah, I'm here. But how'd you know I'd come?" I ask him.

"I wasn't sure you'd show....I probably would've given you a call anyway. But from the short time I've known you, I had the feeling you'd show up," he says, smiling like he owns the world.

"Sure I showed up, but I'm here to kick you in the head, not to fuck you," I yell.

He laughs. "But you are here, aren't you, Ray. And now that you are, I'm sure I can persuade you...." he's moving closer to me.

Oh man, this guy's slick. He says Fraser's changed...I'm sure he's changed too 'cause I can't see Fraser having a creep like him for a friend.

I get off the couch. "Look, Jarrod. I'm not interested and if you're smart, you'll keep this quiet and not mention it to Fraser. He still thinks of you as a friend," I say.

"You're not interested?" He looks totally shocked that I'm turning him down. Probably 'cause nobody ever did before. Well, they don't have Fraser.

"No," I say.

"Fine Ray, it's your loss." I don't agree, but I don't tell him that. "Look," he says, "I'm flying back to Toronto tonight. I'll call Ben to say good-bye." He's dismissing me now.

"You just decide that?" I ask him.

"Don't flatter yourself, Ray. I made the plans an hour ago."

"Yeah, well, I'll just let myself out," I say walking over to the door.

"Nice knowing you," he says to me as I'm walking out.

I don't answer him and shut the door behind me.

********************

It's six fifteen and I'm waiting outside the Consulate for Fraser. Been going over in my head what happened with that creep, Jarrod. I can't believe he used Fraser like that....that he played both of us like that. I could never tell Frase....it would hurt him too much. Not so much 'cause another guy made a move on me, but that the guy is supposed to be his friend.

I see him coming out the front door with Dief. He's wearing jeans and a light blue shirt and his leather jacket. Looks like his jeans know just the right places to hug, too. I guess it's a Canadian thing. He sees me watching him and he smiles. I lean over and unlock the passenger door.

"Hello, Ray," he says while he's pulling the seat forward for Dief.

"Hi, Frase." He's smiling at me and I just wanna drag him over to me and kiss his brains out.

"What are the plans?" he asks me.

"Well, I figured we'd just go back to my place...I'm really starving," I say.

"We can stop if you're that hungry, Ray.

"I'm not hungry for food, Frase," I say.

"Oh." He looks at me and his face turns pink. Now I have shy Mountie in the car. Love it.

We take off into traffic.

"Ray, are you sure you're okay with last night and this morning?" he asks me. I bet he's been thinking about it all day.

I look over to him and he looks real concerned. "Yeah, Frase. I'm really sorry I yelled at you...let's just forget it happened, okay?"

Then I take my hand off the wheel and reach over and squeeze his thigh. I feel him jump a little. Oh yeah...shy, responsive Mountie.

Nobody says anything for a little while. Then Fraser talks.

"Jarrod called me this afternoon. He's flying back to Toronto this evening," he tells me. I'm surprised he doesn't seem disappointed like I thought he would.

"Yeah?" I try to sound like it's no big deal.

"Yes, it was nice seeing him, but....." He stops talking.

I glance over to him and he's looking out the passenger window.

"But what, Frase?" I ask him.

"Well, he's changed quite a bit and I'm afraid not in a good way," he says.

I smile when I remember that Jarrod said just the opposite about Fraser. Jarrod may not be a very good friend, but I have to admit he's a good judge of character.

"Yeah, well, people change" I say. "I guess he's the way he has to be."

"Yes Ray, I guess he is," Fraser says.

I look over and he's smiling at me. I can't wait to get him home and find out which Mountie he's got in store for me tonight.

The End

It would be nice to hear from you Albertacr@home.com