From my new home... Saturday Morning silliness. As ever, chocolate pancakes, banana nut waffles, lox&bagles, but mostly comments...
by AC Chapin
"How many would you like, Benton?"
"CBS! CBS!"
"Ma, where's the tabasco?"
"Two please, Mrs. Vecchio."
"FOX!"
"On the second shelf, Raymondo."
"Hey, Benny, that's not the right answer. The right answer is six!"
"CBS! CBS!"
"You're putting tabasco on your eggs again? That is so gross!"
"FOX! I wanna watch the X-Men!"
"You kids be quiet! C'mere, Frannie, I'll put some on your pancakes."
"Yeah, just try it, Ray. I can take you any day."
"Really, Mrs. Vecchio, I couldn't possibly eat more than two."
"C! B! S! X-Men suck."
"You'll eat 'em and like 'em, Benny."
"FOXFOXFOXFOXFOX!"
"Understood, six it is."
"Frannie, you make this coffee? Or did something crawl into the perkulator and die?"
"Yeah, your fashion sense."
"CBS!!!!"
"FOX!!"
"Shut up for crissakes. We're watching Bugs Bunny, whatever channel that's on."
"But Uncle Raaay!"
"Shaddup!"
"FOX!"
"Ma, we're out of syrup!"
"C! B! S!"
"Now really, Diefenbaker. I don't think you should have done that."
"There's a new one in the cupboard."
"That doesn't look like Bugs Bunny."
"But Uncle Raaay!"
"You may be a voracious hunter of the northern wilds, but I should think even you would stop at twelve pancakes."
"I wanna be seeing a grey hare besides the ones you're giving me in about three seconds or you're all eating breakfast in the kitchen."
"Oh o*kay*."
"Ray, You're such a -- "
"Oh, look. Canadian."
"She drank my orange juice!"
Tonight what heights we'll hit. On with the show, this is it!
"The syrup. The syrup is Canadian. Stop laughing at me, Ray."
"Gran'ma, she drank my orange juice!"
"I hate commercials."
"Ray, I don't think I can eat this many pancakes."
"Ma, can you make some more coffee please? This stuff is eating holes in my teeth."
"Benton, would you like some sausage?"
"You just gotta pace yourself, Benny."
"How come those kids get to eat breakfast outside?"
"Oh, I couldn't possibly, Mrs. Vecchio."
"Well if you'd let me buy something besides Maxwell House --"
"That's 'cos no kids on commercials live in Chicago, kiddo."
"Taster's Choice would be nice."
"Gimmie that back!"
"Maxwell House is fine if you make it right."
"Diefenbaker!"
"Give him four links, Ma. And bacon."
"Can I have some more orange juice?"
"Where's the syrup?"
"Hey, the show's back on."
"I think you'd better ask Diefenbaker about that."
"Frannie, get me some sugar, your coffee's peeling the enamel off my teeth."
"Get it yourself."
"Ray, bears don't really walk like that."
"Hey, that's mine!"
"It's a cartoon Fraser. Just go with it."
"Is not!"
. . . must'a taken a wrong turn at Al . . .
"Is too!"
"Why doesn't he just eat the rabbit?"
"Shaddup!"
"'Cos Bugs is too smart for him."
"Here's that sausage, Benton. The bacon is still cooking."
"Does your wolf like broccoli?"
"Thank you, Mrs. Vecchio. So the rabbit is basically the trickster figure?"
"Can I have some of your bacon?"
"Sure, trickster, whatever."
"Here's your sugar and I hope you choke."
Hm, hmm hmm. Rabbit tracks!
"This is great!"
"Diefenbaker!"
"This sugar is a rock, anybody got a pick-axe?"
Hm, hmm hmm. Train tracks!
"Well, put syrup in your coffee then."
"Diefenbaker!"
"That's just gross."
"Can I have some more orange juice?"
"This from a man who puts tabasco on his eggs!"
"She took my orange juice again!"
"At least I can make coffee!"
"Yeah, prove it!"
"That's mine !!"
"QUIET !"
"Jeeze, sorry, Benny."
"Ahem. I'm terribly sorry. I couldn't hear what the rabbit was saying."
"Okay, okay. We'll turn it up."
Ain't I a stinker?
"Is that the end?"
"They're cartoons, Fraser; there'll be another one. Eat your pancakes."
"Benton, why is Canadian bacon different?"
"Well . . ."
"You gotta watch this one, Benny. This is great."
Ah, la femme petite skunk. Le rowr rowr rowr-rowr!
"Give that back or I'll feed you to the wolf."
"Why is he talking like that, Ray?"
"He's French."
Le sigh, le pant. Le yipe!
"You going to eat those?"
"This is very silly, Ray."
"I think it's romantic."
"You think skunks are romantic -- big surprise. This explains your entire dating history, Frannie."
"Hey, give me that!"
"Shut up, or I'll tell Benton who your favorite cartoon character is."
"Would you like some more milk, Benton?"
"Like you even know."
"No thank you, Mrs. Vecchio, I seem to have more than enough."
"It's Dudley --"
"Stop hitting your sister."
"Hey, look! Look at Elmer Fudd!"
"She hit me first."
"That's great! He looks just like you."
Ewmew Fudd of the Aw Cee Em Pee.
"Where *is* the syrup?"
"He's got the strap across the wrong way."
"Shut up and enjoy it, Fraser."
"Pancakes" copyright 1996 by AC Chapin Dedicated to my brothers, with whom I've had this conversation, and more than once.