Author's notes: Borders on AU.

WHEN RAY MET LIZBIE
by SA Smith

Lizbie looked up from the cold, linoleum floor where she lay, blinded by the bright, white florescent lights, in a puddle of melting chocolate ice cream. For a brief moment, she thought she had died and gone to heaven.

"Are you okay? May I help you? Do you need medical assistance?"

As her vision began to focus, Lizbie realized she was staring directly into the biggest pair of hazel eyes she had ever seen.

A balding angel had come to bring her to heaven and she was lying flat on her ass.

"I think I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation," she murmured.

He smiled and extended an arm to help her to her feet. The entire back of her dress was soaked with ice cream.

"What happened?" he asked.

She could feel her face becoming beet red. This was surely the most embarrassing moment of her life, but thank heavens she wasn't on "Candid Camera." She hoped.

"One never knows why one falls. Guess I'm just a klutz." Lizbie suddenly wished he would just vanish and leave her in peace during her moment of pathetic self-pity and humiliation.

"No use crying over spilled milk," he replied. The corners of his mouth twitching as he tried not to laugh.

His response didn't help at all; it just increased her desire to cry. "It was ice cream."

"Um...sorry. Look, are you sure you're okay? Perhaps we should call the manager and fill out a form or something...you could file a law suit if you're hurt."

"No, no, I am fine, really. The only thing bruised here is my ego," she said, refraining from making any negative comments about the degree to which her derriere had cushioned the fall.

He didn't even attempt to hide his smile this time.

"Well..." she said, "Welcome to Clich City! Now we're even: one to one, Tit for Tat. Even Steven."

"Yeah, like meeting in a grocery store isn't the most clichd place of all. This is getting so corny I'm going to introduce myself. Hi. I'm Ray Vecchio."

"Hi, Ray Veccio, I'm Lizbie Buchanan. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Lizbie. Can I treat you to another container of ice cream?"

"I feel like a complete idiot," Lizbie blushed.

"Hey, I eat ice cream too. Man, I still eat Pop Tarts." He glowed at the thought. Ray had dimples the size of half-dollars.

"Pop Tarts! I used to love the chocolate ones with the marshmallow centers," Lizbie laughed.

"Not as much as I loved Frosted Flakes," Ray added.

Lizbie's brown eyes lit up like sparklers. "I ate those every morning for ten years." She paused. "No wonder my growth was stunted."

She was only 5 feet tall and Ray towered over her. She felt like Sprout next to the Jolly Green Giant. Which reminded her she needed peas.

"Wanna go grocery shopping with me?" he asked.

"Yes, Virginia...there *is* a Santa Claus," Lizbie muttered.

"Pardon me?" Ray looked confused.

"Nothing...I'd love to go shopping with you. If you don't mind being seen with a woman with a chocolate-covered butt."

Ray laughed. A good hearty, fiber-enriched laugh. "Not at all. My pleasure."

They began to stroll down Aisle Five, with their carts side by side.

"Soup." Lizbie stopped.

"Soup, uh, soup is good. Soup is good for you."

"Yes, that is what they say. Hmmm. I think I'll have potato," Lizbie said.

"You say pa-tay-toe, I say pa-taa-toe," Ray sang off-key under his breath.

Aisle Six beckoned.

"Fruit." Ray stopped. "Canned fruit."

Yes, canned fruit is good," Lizbie added, "I like peaches. Pineapples. I can deal with pineapples too. I like the ones shaped like little rings."

"Peaches and cream," Ray said, "that would be great...I used to stick my tongue through the hole."

"I beg your pardon?" Lizbie's eyes were wider than ever.

"The pineapple rings. You never did that as a kid?"

"No, I just used them as life preservers for my dolls. So, Ray, do you live around here?"

"Ah, the BIG question. And I wanted to ask you first. Yes, I do. As a matter of fact, I do -- over on North Octavia Avenue."

"NO WAY!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, way."

"You can't possibly live there! *I* live on that street!"

"Why? Is the street too small for the both of us?"

"Too many Frosted Flakes on one street. Maybe we should lay off of them."

Ray laughed again. Lizbie surmised that his choosy mother had chosen Jif, by the depth of his dimples. He looked to be in his mid-thirties, give or take a couple of years.

He could have been reading her mind. "How old are you, Lizbie, if you don't mind me asking."

"Sixty-five!" Lizbie exclaimed.

"You're sixty-five? Wow. You look fabulous. I better get some of that ice cream."

Lizbie giggled. "No silly, I meant the peas are sixty-five cents a can. That's highway robbery!"

"I'll call the cops. Ever notice that frozen peas always look a funny shade of green?"

"I'm forty-two."

"Years of age or forty-two cents a can?" He winked at her.

"Very funny. Don't let me forget tea."

"Yes, Ma'am." Ray stopped and grabbed a bag of rice. "I'm thirty-six."

"Wow. Amazing. These crackers are only a dollar," Lizbie mused as she picked up a box of oyster crackers and tossed it into her basket.

"Like you said, there *is* a Santa Claus." Ray groaned as one of wheels on his grocery cart suddenly stiffened, causing him to forcefully negotiate the turn onto Aisle Seven.

"Don't you hate when that happens?" Lizbie suppressed the urge to comment on the absence of lubrication.

"FRESH PRODUCE!" Ray exclaimed as though it were a truly novel concept.

"These bananas look fabulous! Look how ripe and succulent."

"HEY! Don't be using words like "ripe" and "succulent" around me or I'll be squeezing the "cantelopes" next!"

Ray began to juggle three russet potatoes in the air.

Lizbie was trying to feign an interest in the bananas as she watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was so friendly and so spontaneously funny.

"You look pretty fascinated by those bananas there. Looking for a real big one?"

"Ray, are you trying to flirt with me?" Lizbie batted her eyes, ever so subtly, or perhaps ever so evidently.

"Yes, I believe I am. It's not everyday you meet a beautiful, brown-eyed brunette with a fetish for big bananas."

"Thank you." It was a royal flush.

"You're beautiful." Ray dropped all three of the russet potatoes on the ground. His expression turned serious and dream-like as they stared into one another's eyes.

Lizbie felt as frozen as the peas on Aisle Ten.

Ray leaned down and kissed Lizbie briefly but passionately on the lips. "Let's get out of here," he whispered in her ear.

Lizbie's common sense was telling her that leaving with Ray might not be the most sensible idea in the world. But a rush of adventure had came over her. Grocery store fever.

"Okay," she said seductively. A little too seductively, she thought.

Ray took her hand and led her down Aisle Eight.

"Where are we going?" Lizbie asked.

"Wanna live life, really live it?"

"Yes, I always have...what?"

"Tired of feeling trapped in the same environment, your mundane job, shopping for ice cream and bananas?"

"Yes, Yes, YES!" Her ice cream was beginning to melt. Any minute now it would be turning to liquid and start seeping out of the edges of her box.

"C'mon!" He led her to the back of the store: The Meat Department.

He pushed the swinging doors open to the butcher shop. No one was back there. It was very cold and raw meat was hanging everywhere. Ray led her through another door.

"How do you know your way around here? You do this often?" Lizbie asked, her pulse rate flying.

"Worked here as a teenager through high school. He pulled her into the room and shut the door. It was dark.

Ray immediately began to kiss her, deeply and sensually. Lizbie let go and allowed her passion to take over. It was scary, sexy, adventurous, and dangerous. She knocked over a couple of boxes of Canadian bacon as Ray began to unbutton the front of her dress. He kissed her neck and ran his tongue slowly down to her breasts. Lizbie could feel herself wanting more from him as he ran his hand under her skirt and into her panties. Their breathing became faster and heavier. Lizbie ran her hands under his shirt and through the silky curls on his chest as their lips locked in an inseparable embrace.

They could see the lights under the doorway.

"Hello?" a deep, older voice asked. "Anybody in there?"

Ray put his hand over Lizbie's mouth. She could feel her heart beating against her chest as she tried not to breathe.

After a minute, they could hear the intruder's footsteps moving away. Close call.

They began to giggle. Their moment was gone. Like adolescents they sneaked out, back to the safety of their grocery carts.

Minutes later, Ray helped Lizbie put her groceries into the back of his Buick Riviera. The wind was cool that night, blowing a breeze through her long, brown hair. The back of her dress had become stiff where the chocolate ice cream had dried.

"Ray?" Lizbie said.

"Yes?"

"What happened in there, I just don't know if it was right. I got carried away and . . ."

He looked deep into her eyes. "Lizbie, I thought you wanted it."

"Yes! I mean, no!"

"What? You can't say it wasn't good."

"I'm not saying it wasn't good, I'm just saying...Hell. I just met you! You're a complete stranger. I need time to get to know you."

"I'm a cop," Ray offered helpfully. "Who can you trust if you can't trust a cop?"

"Can we start over?"

"Sure," Ray said. "Sure. You are absolutely right. I like you too, and I want this to be more than just..."

"Sex?" Lizbie filled in the blank.

"Yeah, but you are sexy, you know." He began to rummage through her shopping bag.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

Ray pulled out her new container of ice cream, opened it and let it fall to the ground. As it hit the ground, ice cream splattered all over his jeans. "We're starting from the beginning."

"No use crying over spilled milk, " she said.

"It's ice cream, " Ray replied.

"Hi, I'm Lizbie." She reached out her hand.

He lightly kissed it. "Hi, I'm Ray."

"Nice to meet you," Lizbie said.

"Very nice to meet you too."

They looked into each other's eyes and smiled. Then, Lizbie and Ray burst out laughing.

"Did you really work in the stock room?"

Ray laughed. "No, but I have shopped here with my friend."

Lizbie shook her head in amusement as she got into the passenger's side of his Riv. "That was a good one, Mr. Policeman. Next thing I know, you'll be telling me your plane crashed and you got lost in the woods with a deaf wolf and a blind Mountie."

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" Ray took the keys and got into the driver's side.

As the car pulled out of the parking lot, they could hear an announcement on the supermarket's intercom system...

"CLEAN UP ON AISLE 2!"

They drove off into the moonlight, covered in ice cream, holding hands, and laughing.