By
Anam71
January
2000
NC-17
for M/M slash and sex to the nth degree.
Another PWP featuring Fraser, Vecchio, and a breath mint…trust me on this one.
Disclaimer:
I don’t own these guys, and I don’t own Altoids breath mints…okay?
E-mail
me at: Anam71@aol.com
The
pedigree of honey
Does not
concern the bee;
A clover,
any time, to him
Is
aristocracy.
-‘The
Pedigree of Honey’ by Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
(Quoted in this
story without permission: lyrics to Sarah McLachlan’s ‘Possession’ from her CD
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy; Arista Records, 1993)
A
sleek, classic green Riviera pulled up in front of a crappy, dilapidated
apartment building, a dwelling clearly not fit for neither man nor beast.
The
winos guarded the front entrance of this dump, each a bottle in his hand. They
dutifully noted the driver that gracefully exited the classic car and
approached their gate.
The
handsome, slim, elegant man nodded with a smile and smoothly slipped by to
enter the apartment complex of the damned. The refined man was singing a
romantic tune…
“…
I would be the one… to hold you down… kiss you so hard… I’ll take your breath
away…” The smooth voice echoed throughout the dingy stinky hallway.
“Now
that’s a man in love…” One wino commented to the other.
“I
totally agree with your assessment…” The other wino wisely replied.
Yeah.
They were drunks, but they weren’t stupid.
The
cultivated Italian flowingly took the stairs two steps at a time, his long
slender legs reaching up easily in such a task.
The
door of apartment 3J loomed up ahead, and the man’s heart skipped a beat.
Detective
Raymond Vecchio then exquisitely glided into the small apartment like a world
class championship-figure ice skater.
And
there was his Canadian lover at the small kitchen table, reading his father’s
musty and boring old journal.
He
was just so cute sitting there, head bent, legs hooked around a chair like some
antique Victorian print of a Dickens copyboy, and Ray badly wanted to knock the
Mountie to the floor and lick his sweet face…
Ray’s
blissful thoughts were rudely interrupted as a hyper white wolf knocked him to
the floor and licked his sweet face…
“Yech!
Gross! Get off me fuzz face! Now!” The detective finally managed to stand on
his feet, and indignantly brushed wolf hairs off his expensive garments.
The
wolf skulked away into the corner off the apartment; his lupine feelings were
hurt.
“Hello,
Ray.” The Mountie looked up with a wide innocent sweet boyish smile and
twinkling sapphire eyes.
“Hello
Benny, mio caro.” The detective stepped up to his seated lover, and placed a
tender kiss on top of his pelt.
“I
have gift for you, mio bene Benny.” The Italian reached into his long gray
overcoat, and pulled out a package wrapped in plastic.
Benny
quickly snatched the gift out of Ray’s hands and ripped open the plastic. It
felt like a holiday Canadian Christmas TV special…
Benny
frowned, looking down. “Ray, what’s this?”
In
his hands he saw a large brass pad lock, with a bolt and chain, along with
little nuts and screws.
“Well,
Benny, that is a lock for your door. I got it at a Ace hardware store; it’s top
of the line and guaranteed not to rust. Well, that’s what John Madden says,
anyway…” Ray was very proud of himself.
“Ray,
I have no need for a lock on my door…”
“Oh,
yes you do, Benny!” Ray folded his arms and stood his ground.
“Really,
Ray. I see no need to have a lock on my door and besides…”
“Benny,
you have to get a lock for your door! You remember the last time?”
Benny
blushed. “I am sure Mr. Mustafi didn’t see anything…” The Mountie now became
flustered.
“Yeah,
right Benny! Sure!”
“I
simply told Mr. Mustafi you were only trying to fix my kitchen sink…”
“With
no pants on?” Ray shouted and
flapped his arms in the air.
“Well,
Ray. It’s like this…”
“And
what about last week with the pizza delivery guy?”
“Yes,
Ray. I do see your point.”
“Oh,
thank God! A miracle! Let me call the Pope…”
“Now
you’re just being silly, Ray.” Benny was now turning the shiny brass lock over
in his hands. He came to a decision and slumped his broad shoulders.
“Okay.
You win Ray. I’ll put a lock on my door.”
“Oh
God! Another miracle!” Ray was ready to faint.
Then
the Italian slipped out of his fine gray overcoat, and out of his fine gray
Armani suit jacket, and rolled up the sleeves of his fine blue silk shirt.
“Okay,
Benny. Where’s your screwdriver?” Ray was ready to be Mr. Fix-it.
“I
do not own one, Ray. I never had the need for one.” Benny shifted uncomfortably
in his seat.
“What!
You don’t have a goddamn screwdriver! How am I supposed to screw in this pad
lock? With my dick?” Ray was shouting again.
Umm…
with his dick… Benny conjured up a mental image in his mind and…
“Yo!
Benny! Ground control to Major Benny! You there?” Ray was waving his hands in
front of the Mountie’s glazed eyes.
“Oh,
sorry Ray.” Benny finally snapped out of his kinky reverie.
“I
guess I have to get you a screwdriver at the hardware store.” Ray sighed and
threw the padlock onto the kitchen table, frustrated.
“Speaking
of hardware, Ray…” The Mountie got up and slipped his strong arms around Ray’s
tiny waist, and began grinding himself into Ray’s groin.
Ray
sighed and buried his face in the Canadian’s neck, padlock and screwdriver
forgotten…
The
Mountie lifted one of Ray’s artistic hands to his lips, and began to kiss and
lick each slim finger…
“Ummm…Ray,
you have such beautiful, slender, elegant hands…”
“I
know I do, Benny. That’s what everybody on the Internet says…”
“My
lovely Ray. I also have a gift for you…” The Mountie breathed heavily.
Ray
looked up and grinned. “Oh yeah? You got me something, Benny? It’s not another
Inuit voodoo doll, is it?”
Benny
shook his head and smiled. “No, not this time, Ray. But in order for me to give
you this gift, you have to get naked.”
“Naked?
Okay, Benny. You’re the brains of this outfit.”
Ray
then proceeded to strip down, much to the approval of his unofficial partner in
crime.
Ray
now stood splendid in all his fine naked sexy panther-like glory, and stared at
the Mountie staring at him.
“Benny?
Does this gift of yours require that you be naked too?” Ray sounded hopeful.
“Why,
yes Ray. As a matter of fact, it does.” Benny just stood there staring at a
naked Ray.
“Well,
just don’t stand there, get on with it!” Ray flapped his arms again.
“Oh.
Understood.” Benny proceeded to strip down with a little help from the helpful
detective.
“Now
where’s that gift of yours, Benny?” Ray wrapped his arms around the Mountie’s
neck and kissed his smooth forehead.
Benny
took Ray’s hands and pulled him to the bed. “It’s in here, Ray.”
The
Mountie tenderly placed Ray down on his back on the small crappy bed. Ray
looked up with loving hazel eyes, and stretched out his arms to his lover.
Benny
climbed on top of Ray and straddled his small hips. He cupped the detective’s
handsome face with his hands, and kissed Ray’s long aristocratic nose.
“Benny,
my gift…?” Ray was now thrusting his body up against the Canadian.
“Oh.
Here, let me get it.” The Mountie reached over to his night table, and pulled
out a small white tin box. He then placed the tin box on Ray’s chest.
Ray
picked up the tin box in his hands, and read the label on the top of that box.
Ray
stopped thrusting.
On
the tin box it said: ‘Altoids: the curiously strong breath mint.’
Ray
was indignant, and a little pissed off, too.
“You
got me breath mints, Benny? Breath mints?”
“Yes,
Ray.” The Mountie replied calmly with a wicked blue twinkle in his eye.
“Breath
mints, uh? You’re trying to tell me something, Benny?”
Ray
was hurt now. He took great pride in the fact that he practiced good oral
hygiene.
Ummph.
Unlike Benny, who liked to lick disgusting slimy things from off the street.
“Don’t
be that way, Ray.” Benny now sensed his friend’s mounting distress. “Here, let
me show you your gift.”
Benny
took the tin box from Ray and opened it. He carefully took out one breath mint
and popped it into his mouth. He began sucking on it.
Benny
made a slight face as he sucked the candy, and his eyes watered slightly. The
candy was extremely minty, and it took a moment to get use to the taste. Well,
after all, it did say on the box the mints were curiously strong… curiously so…
Ray
just lied there staring at the Mountie. This is it? This is his gift? Watching
Benny suck on a breath mint? Jeez! That’s all?
But…
on the other hand… Benny did look kinda cute sucking away on that mint candy…
his lips slightly puckered… his cheeks pulling in and out…
If
Ray just stared long enough at Benny sucking away, he may just cum…
Benny
raised his hand to his mouth and spat out the mint into his palm. He then
placed the candy gingerly on the sheet besides Ray.
Now
what was he up to?
“Benny?”
Ray was confused now.
The
Mountie then slid down Ray’s thin body and lowered his head over the dark soft
curly groin…
“Oh,
Benny…” Ray sighed as Benny took Ray’s long shaft into his wet Mountie mouth.
And Benny happily sucked away…
If
there was one thing that Canadians were good at, it was at giving… Oh God…
Ray
resumed his thrusting.
“Mio
caro…God…oh Benny.” Ray was enjoying the feel of that warm satin mouth, a
tongue so lovingly caressing his cock, the gentle pressure of teeth…
Hey,
wait… something weird was happening… Ray couldn’t make out what it was… it was
an odd sensation… very odd…
A
tingling burning sensation, like burning cold ice, a cold so cold it burns… was
shooting up and down through his cock… as if he been touched by cold blue fire.
Ray
flinched.
Ray
screamed.
“BENNY!”
What
the fuck was happening to him?
It
was just like the X-Files, but rated NC-17.
“Ohmigod!
Ohmigod! BENNY!!!” Ray shot his head up to look down at the Mountie only to see
a wicked Benny grinning back up at him.
“Benny!
Oh God, what have you done to me?” Ray yelled loudly.
“Well,
you see Ray, it’s the breath mint…”
“Fuck
you and fuck your breath mint! BENNY! What have you done to my dick?!?!”
Ray
was louder now, and Benny was pretty sure that his neighbors and the winos
could hear Ray’s ranting and raving.
Oh
dear.
What
has he done?
All
he wanted was to have a little fun with Ray. Didn’t Ray say he should be more
spontaneous and not so serious all the time? This was fun, wasn’t it? Huh?
Oh
dear. Oh dear. This was much worse than that Victoria fiasco…
Ray
slowly, but surely, quieted down as the fiery and stinging cold frostbite on
his cock subsided.
Fraser
just sat there, waiting for another round of verbal abuse `a la Ray.
“Benny?
What the hell was that?” Ray finally gasped out, fixing the Mountie with a
piercing green glare.
“Well,
you see, Ray, it’s like this…”
“I
don’t know what you have done to me, but it was the most fucked up thing I had
ever felt!” Ray, being eloquent again.
“Ray,
that fu… umm… I mean… that thing you felt was the chemical reaction of the breath
mint with my saliva on your skin. You see, the chemical composition of the mint
from the plant, Gaultheria procumbens,
affects the firing of nerve impulses that…”
“What
the hell are you talking about? All I know is, it felt like I dipped my dick
into some snow!” Ray flapped his arms a third time.
“Have
you Ray? Have you ever dipped your dick in…” Benny’s eyes widened in hope.
“NO!
I have never dipped my dick in snow!”
Benny
frowned. Oh, well… that was one thing less he had in common with the detective.
Benny
sadly sighed.
The
Italian felt extremely guilty now for the sadness he caused in his Mountie.
How could be so insensitive and so cruel and
so mean? He blamed it all on his upbringing and his drunken Pop.
“Hey,
Benny. I’m sorry for yelling at ya. It’s just that ya caught me off guard back
there.”
“Well,
sorry Ray. I only wanted to surprise you.” The Canadian said shyly.
“Well,
shit Benny! Mission accomplished!”
“Sorry,
Ray. We can do something else if you want?” Benny went to get up but Ray
quickly grabbed him.
“I
didn’t mean you can stop doing what you were doing, jeez!” Ray pleaded.
“But
I thought you hated what I was doing to you?” Benny was now one confused
Mountie.
“I
didn’t say that I hated it!”
“But
Ray, you said it was the most… uh… you said… uh…”
“Yeah,
yeah, I said it was the most fucked up thing I had ever felt… but that is not
necessarily a bad thing… I mean, feeling fucked up can be a good thing…” Ray
was now confusing himself.
“So,
what do you want, Ray?” There was a look of hope in Benny’s baby blue eyes.
“I
want you to put that mint in your mouth, and suck it hard… then I want you to
put my cock in your mouth, and suck it hard.” The Italian sat up to kiss his
Mountie, then leaned back with his hands behind his head, waiting.
The
delighted Canadian took his mint off the sheet, and popped it back into his
mouth and happily sucked away.
Ray
was just so amazing, Benny thought, he would do anything for his partner and
lover.
I’m
so amazing, Ray thought, I would do anything for my partner and lover.
And
Benny kept sucking away on that mint to recharge his mouth. He kept sucking,
and sucking, and sucking…
“Hurry
up, Benny! God! I have to be home for supper! Ma will kill me!”
The
Mountie quickly spat out the mint and the candy went bouncing off the floor.
He
then plummeted between Ray’s legs and delivered another arctic blast to Ray’s
cock…
“BENNY!”
Ray hiked his hips up to meet the onslaught of Benny’s burning cold mouth.
“Oh
God! Oh God! It’s like fucking snow! I’m fucking snow!” Ray had never felt so
good at feeling so fucked up!
The
icy-electric mouth licked and sucked, and Ray’s shaft became very rigid and
frigid.
“Benny!
Benny! Benny! My snow man! Benny!” Ray was now wildly thrusting into that
frosty mouth and he felt blown away by cold winter winds… literally.
“BENNY!!!”
Ray
forcefully came into Benny’s mouth, and it was like liquid fire on crisp ice.
“Benny…”
Ray whispered gently.
Ray
slowly recovered his senses, well… except in his dick, which was numb cold.
He
also had an ice cream headache.
Well,
he did ask for it.
“Did
you like that, Ray?” Benny asked tentatively, still unsure of himself and the
Altoids mint trick.
“Will
you marry me, Benny?”
Benny
laughed and bent down to kiss Ray on the mouth… deep.
It
was an interesting taste, Ray thought, tasting a mixture of himself and the
mint on Benny’s tongue. Ray now felt the numbing cold of the mint in his mouth.
“Uh,
Ray? How’s your… um… dick?” Benny asked shyly, and he was blushing too.
“It
still feels very weird. How long is this supposed to last?” Ray seriously
asked.
“I
am not sure, Ray. This is the first time I have ever experimented with this. I
wasn’t sure it would even work.”
“Oh,
great Benny! I just love being your little lab rat.” Ray kissed the minty
Mountie mouth again.
Then
Ray started to think… since his tingling numb dick was now coated with the
sticky mint, it was probable that…?
Ray
suddenly sat up and flipped Benny’s body over like a Mountie pancake. The
Italian eyed the Mountie’s firm ass with a wicked smile. Ray straddled him.
“Uh,
Ray? What are you doing?” The Canadian sounded very nervous. Uh oh…
“I
was thinking Benny. If my dick can feel this way… maybe your ass can feel this
way too…”
“Ray,
I don’t think this is such a good idea, and besides…RAY!!!”
Benny
screamed as his partner penetrated him, and now he received his fair share of
that arctic blast…
And
things would have gotten more interesting if only that stupid moron Mr. Mustafi
had not walked in on them again…
-The
End-
Endnotes:
I heard about the Altoids mint trick from a friend years ago, but I didn’t
believe it. I recently heard about it again on the Howard Stern TV show. So I
guess the trick does work? Anyway, this gave me the idea for this very sick
story…
Oh,
in case you’re wondering…Altoids come in three refreshing flavors: Wintergreen,
Cinnamon, and Peppermint.
Knowing
the Mountie, he probably choose Wintergreen (Gaultheria procumbens) in this story…
Altoids
are distributed by Callard & Boswer-Suchard Inc. (Made in Great Britain).
Visit their website at
http://www.altoids.com/
Ingredients:
Sugar, Artificial Flavor, Gum Arabic, Gelatin, Corn Syrup, Natural Flavor.