Disclaimers : The characters and concept of Due South belong to Alliance and Paul Haggis .I do not profit from this I do not mean to infringe anyones rights .This is purely speculative fiction.

Rating : PG-13 for M/M theme .Implicit sex scene ( the type I am an expert at - HsuLyn's theory of fade out )

Warning for Moslems and Jews? there is mention of a non-kosher animal in here so bleep that out if you are of these particular denominations. I only point this out because in my Moslem dominated country we are not allowed to broadcast that word .I kid you not. Still we are a peace loving people and we dont mind these little inconveniences for the sake of peace .Sorry for the platitudes .

On with the show .

I dedicate this to Hsulyn Yap who knows exactly how much i am addicted to food .

Direct flames and stuff to leelas@pl.jaring.my

--by odd

" Gawd ! *Get* that away from me Fraser ! "

The mountie looked down at the inoffending crockery . "But I thought you'd want to try this dish Ray ? "

Ray shot him a dirty look " What makes you even *think* I' d want to eat pigs ears Fraser ? "

"Well , remember the other day at Mr Lee's restaurant we were talking about why there werent exotic dishes on most chinese menus despite the reputation of oriental palates ..." began Fraser rationally, "...and I was telling you about the strange things my grandmother cooked for me besides the bannock ... the delicacies she learnt to cook when she was a missionary in China? "

Ray nodded cautiously ; he didnt like to commit himself to anything where the mountie was concerned . Slightly hypnotised by the way the mountie was leading him into the memory , Ray stood stiff as a poker waiting for the pin to drop . He was paying attention . The mountie could lead him on the runaround like no one else could , not even Frannie , and that was saying something .

".. and I was saying how some of them actually tasted good and I recommended 'Chuey Yue Huet Dan Dun Qu' and you asked what it was and I said it was sow's ears and blood stewed in mushrooms and you said 'I wonder how stuff like that could taste good ' ? Remember ?"

Only to well , Ray gulped .

"Well this is it ."

Fraser indicated the large , deceptively aromatic concoction with a dramatic flourish and a wide smile .

"You took *that* as an invitation to cook *that*... for me ?" said a beleaguered Ray .

"Mm-hmm . Of course I cant be sure the are *all* sow's ears . I told the chinese butcher in chinatown what I needed it for but all he said was that they were adequate for my purposes . So I mean...they *could* be all sow's ears and then again the probability that that one butcher had so many sow's ears at his disposal seems rather dubious . Plus I dont believe you can tell the sex of a pig from its ears . But they are definitely all pigs ears . At least I can be sure of *that* much , unlike the ones that my grandmother cooked . I mean how many sows could there be in Alert ? My guess is that she replaced the main ingredients with the indigeneous species of the area ...so it must have been caribou ears and blood ..or maybe it was elk ?"

" *Fraser* !" Ray was yelling .

"Yes Ray?" Puzzlement .

" You called me over to dinner for this ?! You called me away from Ma's famous Sunday dinner's for pig ears in blood !"

"Its in a mushroom sauce Ray . The blood is the other main ingredient--"

"That is not *the * point . The *point* is I'm not going to eat it ! Even if it really *is* sow's ears . What am I saying? *Especially*, if its sow's ears ! Jeez ! Fraser , what is wrong with you man ? " said Ray shaking his head . A man who went around shopping for the ears of - only female mind you , pigs - was not normal .

"Oh?"

Ray didnt budge.

"Oh. Pardon me then . I misunderstood . We can just go out for something you like ."

Fraser moved off , downcast , and it showed . He'd taken the entire pot back into the kitchen . Ray cursed . Looking up to the heavens he moaned "Why dont't you pardon *me* instead Lord ?" and headed after his friend to do some damage control .

Ray caught him pouring the stuff down the waste disposal . Ray leaned against the counter when his friend wouldnt look at him , despite the funny faces . He sighed . " Its coz I got sensitive taste buds y'know . I dont go for weird stuff like that, no offence Fraser . I mean , culturally I guess you're just more open than I am despite being stuck in Tuktoyaktuk or whatever."

Fraser was pouting , whether he realised it or not . "Its just that I thought you were interested . You *actually* asked me about it when I said there was a sweet story behind the dish . You *actually* listened while I told you about the famous magistrate in ancient China who was impressed by the bravery of the sow who sacrificed her life to save her piglets from the cooking pot and commemorated her by making that dish one worthy of a mandarin's table despite it being an everyday dish that was eaten by the poor Fuchienese farmers of the province . Not once did you roll your eyes or say 'another Inuit story?'"remarked Fraser ,mimicking Ray's snide tone . Fraser frowned "Not that you could technically because it wasnt an Inuit story--"

"Did it ever occur to you that I was just trying to make pleasant conversation ...to make you happy? " interrupted Ray ,before the mountie got his second wind . It was very hard to break Fraser's verbal stride so he had to strike while he could . "That I did it to please you........?"

"No.I must say that had never occured to me . Why would you go through all that and talk about something you had no interest in ...just to please me ?"

................

"Oh !"

"I knew you'd *get* it some time Fraser ."

" I do . Oh dear."

"This not what you want Fraser ?"

"Dont be silly Ray

Kiss.

Kiss again .

"Hmmm......"

Kiss.

Buttons ping against the wall .

Zippers rip .

Pants and moans .

Two simultaneous cries .

.........................

"Wow Fraser ! You wore me out ."panted Ray.

" That was nice wasnt it Ray?" purred Fraser . "Hmm . Too bad I threw the lot away ."

"What?"

"The sow's ears and blood. Its known to be an aphrodisiac."

"Oh...............Is *that* why you made that dish ? " asked Ray ,aghast at his *naïve* pal's streak of cunning .

"What do you mean Ray? "

"This was a seduction ? Wasnt it ? This wasnt just dinner , this was a planned, meditated full-scale seduction ! You knew how I felt ! And you let me do the chasing ! "

" I have no idea what you are talking about Ray ?" said he , deliberately obtuse .

"Yes you do !"

" No , I do not. "

"Of course you do."

"No I don't Ray ."

"You.....its a waste of time talking to you sometimes Fraser !"

He did the pout thing again . This time Ray knew the delicately pursed lips were deliberate .

But Ray relented "You are my favorite waste of time ."

**The end**

NB: the dish mentioned above is real and so is the story connected with it ...and as for the taste...its like eating tasty styrofoam and offal-ish pudding in a very very yummy shiitake , woods ears , treacle soy sauce with Hung Huey rice wine. Heaven < i know it sounds impossible ...but it is>And as for its properties , its *supposed* to be true .I have no way to verify that. :-)

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Its only the shadow of the people we should be Like the garden in the forest that the world will ever see

--Big Country

What I would give to find a soulmate And what I wouldnt give to meet a kindred Someone else to catch this drift...

--Alannis Morrisette