This is the first of a series relating the adventures of the Fraser and Thatcher on a training tour in Disney World. Since all kinds of brand names and corporations are mentioned through the course of this epic, let me make it clear I own none of them, and I have used them purely for the purposes of free entertainment, and will make no personal gain from this. The due South characters belong to Alliance, not me. Disney World belongs to some huge publicly owned conglomerate, not me. I hope they don't sue me for some of the liberties I take in this series. I acknowledge the role of Disney in the American Culture, and recognize it as a national resource. I also acknowledge that management training seminars are a foundation of the international economy, but do not need to be taken as seriously as Disney.

The only thing I own is the idea of putting all of these various parts together and creating bizarre situations in which they interact.

This series assumes that season 3/4 did not take place; that Ray and the Riv are still around; that Thatcher never cut her hair or got as strange as she did toward the end.

Comments should be directed to tomato_3@excite.com

"Oh, God, the thought of going to this thing makes my gums itch." Meg Thatcher looked upon this assignment with the degree of enthusiasm one usually reserves for major medical tests. The note that had accompanied her package had indicated that RCMP headquarters had adopted a new training plan for its consulate personnel. All liaison officers and their deputies were being run through one of several similar courses. The intent was to get them trained as teams so it was critical to the plan that they go together.

"This comes at absolutely the worse time. We have to get the budget submission together, and the security coordination plan for the NAFTA conference is due the week after this course. I'm going to see if we can get out of this, ask to have the training postponed until after the planning season." She really didn't want to go to this training session. Deep down, she could tell from skimming the brochure that it was going to be horrible, personally mortifying, and boring besides. She just knew it.

Fraser had no information other than the brochure and no experience with training seminars beyond the infrequent specialized courses he'd attended on various police investigating techniques. He did read a lot and recognized the terminology and concepts used in the course curriculum description. He thought there could be some benefits to attending this course. However, he also knew his boss and recognized when she was not in the mood to have an alternative point of view presented. He had learned quite a bit about that in the two years they'd been working together at the consulate.

"Understood, sir. I'll stand by regarding making arrangements for the seminar. In the meantime, I'll continue working on the computer software and hardware estimates." Still holding his information packet, Fraser stood and at her nod and "Carry on, Fraser," headed back to his office, Diefenbaker trailing behind.

Two hours later Inspector Thatcher knocked sharply on Constable Fraser's door, and after waiting 30 seconds - long enough for him to get presentable - she entered. He had learned to read her moods more accurately in their time together; she had learned to not just barge into his office. Although he had finally moved out of the consulate, into another small, Spartan apartment, in another rundown building in his old neighborhood, she had by then retrained herself to wait before entering. She'd had one too many shocks at entering his office to find him half out of his uniform, or worse. She had finally decided that if she was going to let him live in the consulate, then she had to respect his privacy. It was still all rather strange to her, but she'd decided to pick her battles a little more carefully where Constable Fraser was concerned.

From the look on her face, Fraser already knew the results of her effort to get relieved of the requirement to go to the training seminar.

"We have to go to the seminar. I talked to every person in the training and education chain of command, all the way up to Superintendent Wilson. Apparently everyone has tried to get out of these sessions, so they've cracked down. Regardless of schedules, vacations, elective medical procedures, overseas relatives coming to visit, children's dance recitals, and a plague of locusts, everyone scheduled to go - goes. They are sending personnel from Toronto to fill in for us while we are gone. We have a week to get ready. I didn't look at the information very closely, do we need to make travel arrangements?" She sounded positively grim, resigned, but grim.

"Sir, according to the information packet, all of the travel arrangements have been made by the Education & Training Directorate. The tickets will be sent via courier. Lodging is on the park grounds. A rental car has already been reserved. Ah, um. . . " He paused, knowing that he should tell her the details, but dreading the last little fact he had to deliver. She had nodded at each piece of information he mentioned. Now she looked up expectantly. Something about his expression, or rather total lack of expression told her that worse was to come.

"What is it Fraser? Spill it, when you get that tone in your voice I know there is another shoe that you are going to drop. So tell me the deep hideous thing that you think is going to make me crazy."

"Sir, by any chance, did you note the location of the seminar?" He thought he'd lead up to it gradually.

"Somewhere in the southern United States, I gather. I didn't look beyond the cover - it looked awful enough. Why?" She had carried her packet with her and now sat down in the chair by his desk. Pulling out the contents of the envelope, she started shuffling through the stack. Stopping suddenly when she got to the glossy flyer describing the special attractions of the seminar site, all of the color leached right out of her face.

"Oh, my God! Tell me it isn't true. Two weeks! We are going to be there for two weeks! I will go mad, stark staring raving mad." She sat stunned at the horror of it all.

"Sir, I'm sure it won't be that bad. After all, they are experienced in handling a variety of visitors. I'm sure there is something for everyone. I should tell you, however, that the accommodations are a bit unusual," He stopped as she looked up from her blind perusal of her shoes.

"What, what more could they do?" She really didn't want to know, but she recognized that he thought it was important, so she should demonstrate to her subordinate that she was made of sterner stuff and could take what was thrown at her.

"They have decided to reduce the lodging costs by renting time-share apartments at off-season rates rather than individual hotel rooms. Apparently each team is assigned to an apartment, as part of their team-building strategy. We are in the Gorilla Compound. I believe it is part of the Tarzan Complex, outside of the Animal Kingdom." He decided to study the fold out map of the complex, rather than watch as her face crumpled at the latest news.

"Fraser, are you telling me that we are going to be living together for two weeks, in Disney World?!!?" She sat there stunned, not knowing what to do.

"Uh, no . . . I mean, uh . . . well, that might be . . . Oh Dear." While Fraser would never have picked those words to describe the situation, he was not going to argue with her right now. He stared once more at the colorful diagrams and tried to control the shivers running up his spine.

 And somewhere far, far away, a man sat in his office and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

This is only the beginning . . . .