This is part of a series relating the adventures of Fraser and Thatcher on a training tour in Disney World. Since all kinds of brand names and corporations are mentioned through the course of this epic, let me make it clear I own none of them, and I have used them purely for the purposes of free entertainment, and will make no personal gain from this. The due South characters belong to Alliance, not me. Disney World belongs to some huge publicly owned conglomerate, not me. I hope they don't sue me for some of the liberties I take in this series. I acknowledge the role of Disney in the American Culture, and recognize it as a national resource. I also acknowledge that management training seminars are a foundation of the international economy, but do not need to be taken as seriously as Disney. I have and will continue to attribute organizational affiliations to the participants without those organizations' approval.

Pete Taylor and Jimmy Thatcher are my personal agents of mayhem, and I will use them as I please. J

This series assumes that season 3/4 did not take place; that Ray and the Riv are still around; that Thatcher never cut her hair or got as strange as she did toward the end, but that Fraser's apartment was burned down and he did live for a while at the Consulate.

RATING: G

Comments should be directed to tomato_3@excite.com

 "I hope you all picked up the handouts at the back of the room." Pete Taylor asked jovially, a smile of delight gracing his craggy features.

He loved this part - the beginning of the softening up process. It always gave him a soft paternal glow as he looked out on the sea (or puddle, depending on how well the seminar had been sold) of confused faces. Before long, those expressions would change: anticipation, dread, fear, anger, humor, affection, delight, intrigue, seduction. He'd seen it all, sometimes with the same group. Over the years, first as a high school guidance counselor, then a Veg-O-Matic/Fishin Magician salesman, a marriage encounter specialist, and now a management consultant, he'd honed a set of techniques that allowed him to be virtually impervious to criticism. It gave him a wonderful feeling of freedom. That and the fact that he no longer wore underwear or flossed his teeth.

"In addition to the information packets which we distributed last night at registration, you should have 15 additional color-coded handouts. Good, now if you will turn to the yellow sheets - no those are the goldenrod sheets. I'm talking about the buttercup yellow sheets, right after the marigold orange diagrams." More shuffling, impatient grumbling, minor teeth gnashing. The guys from the U.S. Army Special Operations Command seemed to have particular problems with the color identification. They were much more attuned to distinguishing black from charcoal or steel gray. The gradations of shades among flower petals seemed to be a little bit more of a challenge then they were used to.

"Now we will discuss the action items that you will be responsible for working on through the course of the seminar." Shuffle, shuffle, mumble, mumble, 'I didn't get one, can I look at yours?' muttered through the group until everyone was settled.

"As you can see, there are 70 items on this sheet. They are divided into 3 groups: There is an identical list of 25 items for each partner to complete. These are the data that you need to collect on your partner. Every effort should be made to willingly support your partner in his or her data collection efforts. However, every partner should, in turn make every effort to get the information, despite their teammate's reluctance. We believe that sharing is important in an honest, open relationship."

Hands shot up around the room like eels striking at passing fish. Pete selected the razor thin, red-haired man in the back.

"Until we get to know each other better, I'd like each of you to identify yourself and your organization. By the end of the week that shouldn't be necessary." Pete said benevolently, or malevolently, depending on your mindset.

"I'm Grainger Garson from the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory. I don't believe that an honest, open relationship is necessary to have an effective working relationship. Please explain why you believe that we should reveal personal information to someone that we have no personal relationship with, only a professional one? Please justify their 'need to know'." Several of Grainger's more prominent large bones seemed to quiver with barely contained ire. His partner, an elderly African American woman looked at him with amusement.

"Well Grainger, I think that's a fine question, and I'm sure you will have ample opportunity to address your security issues as we move through this program together. Please note that "Unknown" or "To Be determined" or Not Applicable" are not acceptable responses. I know you will all be good sports and cooperate with each other in completing your lists."

Pete was one slick dude when it came to deflecting hyper drive types. He loved it. Already he could feel the atmosphere shift slightly, as a fearful anticipation seemed to settle over the group. He could see the self selection process starting - wonderful.

"Now, to continue onto the second list. There are 10 tasks that must be completed by both members of the team; and then there are 10 tasks that must be divided between the two partners. This last group is particularly critical, in that the each partner can only do 5 of the tasks, so the team must decide how to divide the tasks evenly between the two members. The list of tasks and information sheet must be completed by next Thursday morning, so you have 10 days to complete these assignments."

Everybody had turned to the set of tasks and was busily studying what they needed to do. Groans were heard through the room, with a few angry mutters thrown in for good measure. This list was not intended to create a bunch of happy campers. In fact, many of the items had been included specifically to frustrate and challenge the capabilities of the respective teams.

Within 2 minutes hands were raised all around the room, the notable exception being the Fraser/Thatcher team, who were biding their time.

"Pete, I've got a question about this joint task "Construct Model". Could you please clarify what you mean by that. If you are intending for us to build a management analysis model in that time, and populate it with data, too, I think that is highly ambitious." This comment was offered by one of the Rand Corporation team.

"Ah, Joe, I'm glad you asked that question. The use of the term 'model' applies to something that you may not be familiar with or may not have used in quite a while. On the back table you will see 20 bags, each labeled with the name of a team. In the bags are construction models that you will be assembling between now and the end of the seminar. Let's see, I have the list here. Pete, you and Simone will be building the Eiffel Tower. I'm sure that will provide hours of enjoyment. You'll note that in honor of the unique location of this seminar, we've picked models that commemorate aspects of the Disney World experience. You will have the advantage of being able to visit a version of your model as you conduct your field research. It makes it a lot more fun."

He went on to list the teams and the assigned models. Ben and Meg had been given the Canadian Parliament building in Ottawa, of course, a version of which could be viewed at the Canada exhibit at Epcot. A truly beautiful gothic style building, which they now wished had been designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

"Have you ever done a model like this?" Meg whispered to Ben as they looked over the rest of the list, which included a Japanese temple, the Norwegian Skvald Church, the Moroccan Castle, the Hidden City in Beijing, A Viking ship. The team that drew that one was actually smiling, it was obnoxious.

"No, I suspect that the closest I've come to such an effort was constructing a prototype water recycling plant out of the small bones of an otter's foot. Have you?" She'd have to find out about that one sometime, however, in the meantime they had to get on with the list, assess their skills.

"Yes, I used to do these all of the time with Jimmy. I think we'll be okay on this one, especially since we actually know what the building looks like. Thank God, we've already done one of these joint assignments - grocery shopping. Maybe this won't be too, bad."

She said this as she skimmed the list. She had mistakenly shuffled her list, so the individual assignments were on the last sheet. Now she turned to them and saw the list; and decided that she'd been way too hasty. She couldn't imagine telling Fraser any of this stuff, even if she had answers for some of the questions, which she didn't. Good Lord, she thought that the one about 'What animal would you like to be" went out with disco!

Fraser too had been reviewing the list. Now he turned to her. On the Benton Fraser Puzzlement Scale, this look only merited a 4, so it might not be too bad.

"What is aromatherapy?" Then again . . .

 "We'll take a break now and give you a chance to review those information packets. We will be around to answer any questions you have. We'll start up again in 30 minutes." And with that, all four members of the seminar team disappeared, not to return for the next 28.5 minutes. Experience had shown that strategic retreats were critical to their long-term survival, especially at critical junctures in the seminar. Distributing the models and lists was always guaranteed to elicit at least a 20% complaint rate.

Lunch was catered in an effort to let the seminar participants get to know each other, so Jimmy lost his chance to torture is sister; something that he'd looked forward to the whole morning.  Instead he had to settle for watching his two fellow Canadians 'mingle.'

In Jimmy's experience with his sister, consisting of years of huge family holiday parties, he knew Meg could socialize with the best of them, if only to ensure that she knew each and every person attending the event and that they had been properly entered in her mental card catalogue. It intrigued him, therefore, to see her sticking fairly closely to her associate. Jimmy could see that even when each was engaged in a conversation with someone else, they never strayed too far from the other's proximity. Hmmmm.

Of all the people in their family, Jimmy was closest to his oldest sister. Like him, she was more of a 'sport' in the family, taking after neither their father nor their mother, thank God! They had gotten each other through all manner of crises as they were growing up. Meg being older by 5 years had usually been the one getting Jimmy through his crises, however, not always. He remembered when she'd gotten that tattoo . . .

Now he looked at her posture, the tilt of her head, the way she studied the people around them, and he tried to interpret them in light of what he knew of her. He hadn't seen her much in the last several years, what with his field research for his doctorate and her posting to Chicago. She'd changed. Somewhere along the line that mischievous spark that he'd always admired in her seemed to have been quenched a little. He supposed that the incidents leading up to her transfer to the States probably contributed to it. But there was something else. It almost seemed as if she was consciously exerting a kind of iron control over herself. While she was smart, clever, and ambitious, with a facile mind, she'd also been plagued by wild, wicked, impulses. If she hadn't been so smart in school, she probably would have been expelled for some of her shenanigans. So, seeing her being so self-contained was a mystery to her brother.

As he covertly studied the pair he began to see a kind of subtle interaction. Ben would be talking to someone or wander over to look at one of the stacks of information piled around the room. Meg would seemingly not pay attention, except her whole posture would be tuned to his location. At first, Jimmy was amazed, both that his sister was acting this way, and that she was being that discrete. However, he soon realized that Fraser was doing virtually the same thing with Meg. Meg would seem to shake her head, snapping out of her concentrated monitoring of her partner and proceed to strike up a conversation with one of the participants. While Ben wouldn't move. Jimmy could almost feel the Mountie focus his whole sensory apparatus on Jimmy's sister. This all seemed to happen without them really thinking about it or even talking to each other.

All Jimmy could think of was some exotic mating ritual that was more likely to be documented on PBS then found in the Disney World Conference Center. It was utterly fascinating, and as a scientist, Jimmy felt that it was his obligation to test his hypothesis and conduct the appropriate experiments.

God, he loved his family. They were so much fun!!!

NEXT: Theme parks, Rides, Cable Cars . . . . trouble!