Title: Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain

Author: Angie, AKA Tanya Reed

Rating: PG-13, I think, also a death fic warning, though not in the

usual sense, for parts 3 & 7.

genre: Gen

Category: Romance

Pairings: Ben/Meg

Spoilers: Seeing is Believing, ATQH, Red, White or Blue

Teaser: Who knows how many lives you've lived before? Who knows how

many people from this life you knew then? One can never know...but

one can always wonder.

Disclaimer: Characters, setting, show: Not mine. Never mine.

Never will be mine. But nobody said I couldn't play with them.

notes: Thanks to Lisa for reading the whole thing as it was

developing. Her comments were very encouraging and helped me not to

give up. The story takes place sometime between Seeing is Believing

and Perfect Strangers. Two of the scenes were actually researched,

but the rest are mostly pure conjecture. Now, on to the story... Oh,

oops, thanks to Fred Rose for writing the song that gave me the

idea...

Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain

by Angie AKA Tanya Reed

"Love is like a dying ember

Only memories remain

Through the ages I'll remember

Blue eyes crying in the rain..."

Inspector Meg Thatcher looked up from her paperwork as her

constable entered. Fraser was immaculate as always, his handsome

face showing the respect due her position. She especially liked the

way his red serge draped his muscular frame.

"You wanted to see me, Inspector?"

"Yes, come in, Fraser. There is a matter we must discuss."

He gave a slight nod and came in the rest of the way. He closed the

door behind him, then stood in a stiff, respectful pose.

"I understand that you and Detective Vecchio have been off on

another one of your adventures."

"Sir?"

"Something about missing cats?"

"Actually, it was lions, sir."

"Lions."

"Uh, yes, sir. You see, someone had kidnapped two of the lions from

the nearby zoo. They intended to..."

"That's enough, Fraser." She lifted a hand to stop the stream she

knew was coming.

"Understood."

"Was it necessary to cause all of this damage in the pursuit of

these...cats?"

"Well, sir..."

"Yes or no, Fraser." Sometimes he could be so exasperating.

Getting a straight answer out of him was like pulling teeth.

"We needed..."

"Yes or no?"

He lowered his eyes. "No, ma'am."

His contrite voice made her automatically forgive him. Of course,

she didn't show it.

"The Consulate will pay the damages this time, but next time, you're

on your own. Is this understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Dismissed."

He nodded in acknowledgment and turned to go. Meg appreciated the

move as she watched him from her seat. How could a man be

so...so...Fraser?

"Oh, and Fraser." Her mind had been so much on the damage costs

plunked on her desk by Lt. Welsh that morning, among other things,

that she had forgotten the real reason she had called Fraser into her

office.

"Yes, sir?" He turned back around to face her, his beautiful blue

eyes looking right into hers.

Meg froze as time stopped.

She felt herself gasp as something almost solid hit her in the gut.

The room began to waver and spin around her. She swayed, not hearing

Fraser's alarmed question, as her hands felt around for something

solid.

The only thing in the room that didn't seem to be moving was Fraser.

She peered at him, trying to get her bearings, and what she saw

almost turned her blood to ice. It wasn't Fraser. Not *her* Fraser.

*Oh, God.*

It was his face, those eyes. They stared at her, calling out

beseechingly. The anguish in them tore at her heart.

It was his body. Its stoic pose and self controlled features could

belong to no one else. The rain fell around him, soaking him. It

slicked his hair and his clothes to his skin. The rain was cold.

She could feel the coldness as it dripped down her face as well as

his. It ran down his cheekbones endearingly. How she wanted to go

to him.

The water on his face was not only rain. The realization that he

was crying shook her to her core. Teardrops mixed with the rain

running down his face. The pain in his eyes, she was causing it.

She'd give anything to stop it, if she just knew how. She wanted to

reach out to him, to comfort his hurt. Slowly, she lifted her arm

towards him.

Then, the flash was gone. As if from far away, she heard

Fraser--the real Fraser--speaking, but she couldn't understand what

he was saying.

"Wh...what?"

"Are you all right, sir?" In a moment, he was there by her side.

Meg groped for her chair, blinking. "Fraser?"

"Yes, sir. Do you need assistance?"

His hand was a steadying presence on her elbow. How long had that

been there? She wanted to lean on him for an instant, but she

quelled that impulse.

"No...no, Constable. I'm fine."

Still, he did not let go of her arm until she was comfortably in

her seat. As she looked at him, still blinking rapidly, she thought

she could see concern in his eyes.

"That will be all, Fraser. I'm not a child."

"No, sir."

He seemed to believe her on this count at least. She waved her hand

impatiently. "You may go."

"Understood."

After giving her one more searching look, he turned on his heels and

left. Meg watched him go, and it was all she could do to keep her

mouth from gaping.

What the hell was that?

***

It was later that day when Meg, almost recovered from her flash of

*something* heard a knock on her door. Quickly, she ripped the

glasses from her face, shoving them in a drawer, and turned from her

computer. She ran a hand quickly through her short hair to be on the

safe side, then said, "Come in."

A pretty dark face peeked around the door. "You home?"

Meg rolled her eyes. "If I wasn't home, Francesca, would I have

said come in?"

"You never know, it could be some Canadian thing."

She came in and shut the door behind her. Languidly, she moved

across the room. Meg noticed her shirt was so short that her abdomen

was exposed and her jeans were so tight they could have been painted

on.

"So, are you done?" Frannie asked, unceremoniously plunking herself

down on Meg's desk.

"Sword of Desire?"

A nod. "Sword of Desire."

"You do realize, I don't usually read this type of book..."

"Nah," Frannie said with understanding.

"...But you made it sound so interesting. I wanted to know what

happened to the pool boy," She waved her hand," English lord."

"So, did you finish it?"

"Yesterday. What was with that ending?"

"I know." Frannie sighed. "How could he go back to England and not

take her with him? I was so mad. And it was such a great book."

"Maybe she'll write a sequel."

"I hope so. I hate sad endings."

Meg studied the woman sitting on her desk, now looking a little down

cast. There was no one else in the world she could imagine herself

having so little in common with. Not to mention they were both

attracted to the same man. By all rights, the two of them should be

indifferent to each other, if not enemies. The funny thing was, Meg

liked Francesca Vecchio, and the spicy Italian seemed to like her.

They had worked on a case together about a month before and, despite

their different backgrounds, for a moment they had shared a vision.

Afterwards, Meg had asked to borrow the book that had started it all

and suddenly--to both of their surprise--they found themselves

friends. Meg couldn't believe that the first *real* friend she had

made in Chicago (not counting Fraser, of course, but he didn't know

that she considered him a good friend) was someone like Frannie. She

had been shopping more times in the past month than she had since

moving to Chicago.

Her mind going back to the book, Meg reached into the deepest drawer

in her desk. She searched under all of the papers and folders she

had piled on top, finally coming up with Sword of Desire. Two sets

of dark eyes glanced at the cover and they sighed as one. There, the

pool boy and his lover sat curled together in passion. He was buff

and young with long, flowing hair, but each of them saw a handsome,

soft spoken Mountie there instead.

"So," Frannie asked, burying the book in her purse. "What are you

doing this afternoon?"

"Working, Francesca, as you should be."

"Come on. You're the boss. Take some time off."

"If you'll remember correctly, the last time you said that, we ended

up being gone for five hours. Turnbull was ready to call out the

hounds. Lieutenant Welsh almost fired you."

"But we had fun, didn't we?"

"Well, I suppose," Meg admitted. "I'm a little busy here, but I

wouldn't say no to ordering Chinese. Are you hungry?"

Frannie smiled warmly. "Sure, I could eat. Will...uh...will Fraser

be by this afternoon?"

Meg gave her a soft, rare smile. She completely understood where

Frannie was coming from. "Actually, I think he's out with your

'brother' somewhere. He spends more time at your job than he does at

his."

"Good for me."

"Indeed."

Meg picked up the phone and ordered the Chinese food, while

Francesca found the rarely used second chair and pulled it up to her

desk.

"You know, Meg, I really like those green curtains. They go really

well with the room."

"I like them too." She didn't mention that she had discounted them

until Fraser told her they matched her eyes.

"You strike me more as the type who would prefer red or blue over

green."

"I usually do."

"Oh! I almost forgot. I brought you another book."

"Another book?"

"Yes. It's called Date with Destiny."

"But, Francesca, I don't like..."

Frannie drew her brows together and waved a hand. "Now don't give

me that crap. I know a romantic heart beats in that chest of yours,

Meg Thatcher, I've seen it for myself. Don't you deny it. And you

enjoyed Sword of Desire. You'll enjoy Date with Destiny too, and

you're going to read it, capiche?"

Meg gave a short nod.

"Good. It's about this woman who sees this man everywhere. She

hates him...or at least thinks she does, but every time she turns

around, there he is. Okay, so she moves to this town and low and

behold--there he is! There is just no way she can get away from this

guy."

"Did she try a restraining order?"

Frannie gave her a stern look. "Just read the book."

She handed it over the desk and Meg took it, quickly hiding it from

view. She would read it, yes, but she wouldn't promise to enjoy it.

"The idea of two people destined to be together...it just gives me

shivers."

"There's no such thing as fate, only achievements and mistakes."

"My God, Meg. You are so cynical."

"Not cynicism--reality. There's no..." As Meg was about to launch

into a speech on practicality, her mind flashed back to what had

happened to her that morning. there was no rational explanation for

it, but it *had* happened. She had seen...

"Meg?...Meg?...Inspector Thatcher?"

"I'm sorry, Francesca...Can I confide in you?"

Frannie shrugged. "Sure. Blow."

"What?"

The dark Italian rolled her hand. "You know go."

Meg drew her brow together in puzzlement. "Do you mean shoot?"

"Whatever. Unburden your soul."

"Something strange happened to me this morning." Meg got up and

began to pace. "I'm not one to speak about my personal life, but

this really shook me." She turned to see Frannie raise her eyebrows

at her. "Yes, I can be shaken up. I'm not the Ice Queen that Ray

seems to think I am..."

"You know about that?"

"I do have ears, Frannie. Anyway, it was so strange. I was talking

to Constable Fraser when it happened..."

She could tell Frannie was immediately enthralled. "What? What

happened?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy."

"No, I won't. I swear." Frannie put one hand on her heart and one

in the air.

"I saw...I don't even know what I saw." Meg started pacing again.

"It was like someone had taken a photograph--no, not eve a

photograph, it was too real. It was like someone had taken another

Constable Fraser and put him over top of our Fraser. I saw him, but

it wasn't him. It was like a...um...memory of him. I don't know how

else to explain it."

"Wow. What was he doing?"

"He was standing in the rain." She didn't tell her that Fraser had

been crying.

"That's amazing. What do you think it means?"

"Too much work, not enough sleep?"

"No, Meg. It must mean something. Maybe you know Fraser from

before."

"What do you mean?"

"Like a past life or something."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"No, don't you see? It fits."

"Francesca, I believe in previous lives about as much as I believe

in destiny."

"You live a sorry little life, don't you?"

Meg was hurt. "There's no need to insult me."

Frannie was passed it already. "I wonder how you knew Fraser

before. I wonder if *I* was there. This is so cool."

"Can we just change the subject, please? I feel like a moron."

There was a knock on the door. "That must be our Chinese."

***

August 24, 0079

"It's time," Benton said seriously, turning from the window.

Behind him, looking at him expectantly, were his wife, their two

sons, and their servants Ray and Frannie. Complete trust was in

their faces, and somehow he had to find a way to protect them.

"What's out there, Benton?" Margaret asked, coming forward.

He weighed his answer in his mind and decided that straightforward

honesty was always the best way to go with her. Nervously, he ran a

finger along his eyebrow.

"It's like twilight out there. There's no sign of the sun."

Fear came to her dark eyes, but her face never showed it. Instead,

in her capable way, she clapped her hands and said, "All right,

children, we're going on an adventure. We must see how fast we can

leave the town. Ray, Frannie, please find us provisions for our

journey. Be quick."

The servants, more like members of the family than menials, quickly

nodded and got to work. Benton watched his wife kneel by the boys

and talk and laugh with them as if this may not be the end of the

world. A fierce pride joined the protectiveness within him. He had

been so lonely for so long and now this little family of six belonged

to him.

It took the twins, Ray and Frannie, only a few moments to gather

enough provisions for a couple of days. Without waiting, Benton sent

them out, then the boys holding hands, and lastly, Margaret and

himself. He could feel Margaret's hand trembling in his, though when

she turned her face to him it had a soft smile. In the

semi-darkness, he studied her, remembering all the joy she had

brought him. His wife was ice and fire, calm and storm, love and

laughter. And she had given him his sons.

He could see them in front, chubby legs walking happily along. They

did not seem frightened. A year apart, their personalities could

not be more different. Antonius was a raging river, pushing forward

and testing his limits; Markus was more content to follow his brother

and try to keep him from harm. Together they made a joyous chorus

and Benton could not remember his life before them.

Gently, Benton pulled Margaret towards him. Normally not one for

showing affection outside of their home, now he felt the need to have

her close. Her whole body, like her hand, was trembling. At his

touch, she wrapped an arm around him, and he couldn't help but speak.

"I love you, Meggie. If we don't get out of this, I just wanted you

to know."

Warmth shone out of her face as she raised it to look in his eyes.

"You are my life, Benton."

He was stunned for a moment at such a sentimental thing coming from

her lips. Of the two of them, Margaret was the most practical. Much

like their children, their personalities complimented each other.

A sound of laughter came from the children and the couple shared a

squeeze. It was hard to believe that anything bad could happen when

the world contained sounds like that.

Frannie turned. "Hurry, children."

They began to trot to keep up. She had been their nanny since birth

and was second in authority only to Mama. Even Papa had to take a

third seat.

Benton was studying Frannie when he saw it. All hint of smile was

driven from his face, and his arm tightened on Margaret. It was she

who yelled, "Ray! Frannie!"

They saw a big, black cloud racing towards them. As Ben watched it,

he knew it was the jaws of death itself. His stomach churned, and he

stopped. Fleeing would do them no good. It was too late.

The cloud hit them like a wave, covering their bodies. Benton

gasped as it touched his face, entering his nose and mouth. It was

thick. He tried scraping it away, but more rushed into the empty

places. It was so heavy, it pushed on him, and he could feel

Margaret faltering at his side. She tried to push forward, out of

the cloud, and Benton would have followed her, but already the weight

of the ash was crushing them to the ground.

Margaret fell first, pulling him heavily with her. His lungs were

just starting to burn from loss of oxygen. He felt Margaret

struggling violently to rise, to breath. Benton didn't struggle.

Instead, he trapped her arms with his own and settled in close to

her. There was a pause in her struggles, and Benton felt around

until he found her face. Gently, he pressed his lips to hers and, in

that last moment of life, he kissed her.

******

September 19, 0603

Margaret stared gloomily out of the carriage window. She didn't

care if the scenery was beautiful and that she had left all that was

familiar to her over an hour before. The clomping of the horses'

hooves should have been soothing, but it wasn't. Instead, they

seemed like some big gong, tolling out the last minutes of her life.

Margaret's life was over.

Angrily, she dashed away the tears that came to her eyes with a

dainty white knuckle.

"You will not break down," she muttered darkly. "You will meet this

with strength and pride. You will look on his face and not shudder.

You will pretend that you do not know that this man bought you for a

brood mare."

Gritting her teeth, she stared out at the sky defiantly, as if it

had been the one who traded her away like a sack of potatoes, and not

her own father. How she hated him at this moment.

Being angry helped the fear.

Margaret caught that thought going through her mind and grabbed it.

Carefully, she examined it from all sides. Was she afraid? Yes, she

was terrified. It was a new feeling for her; she prided herself on

being able to handle any situation. But this...Thinking of what was

waiting for her at the end of this ride made her heart pound loudly

in her chest. This was barbaric. What had possessed her father to

get together with some old crone and decide that Margaret should

marry her son?

It wouldn't be so bad if she had met the man before, but no. Her

father had met his mother at some party thing, and they had hit it

off. After two hours of talking, Margaret was engaged--and she

wasn't even there.

Anger burned in her and she let it. Maybe it would completely

consume the fear. What did she know about this man--this Benton that

she didn't even know the last name of? Was he young? Probably not.

It was the old ones who were always shopping for a wife, the ones who

couldn't find one for some reason when they were young.

Well, Margaret thought charitably, there were worse things than

being old. Her thoughts went to her friend Mary. She had been

married less than two years and had two children. Where she had once

been plump with laughing eyes, she now was pale and thin. The only

emotion in her eyes was a bone weary tiredness that tore at

Margaret's heart--and then there were the bruises.

She shuddered. Would Benton be like that? Cruel and brutal? Would

she have to wear long sleeved dresses with unusually high collars?

There was old and there was cruel, but there was also isolated.

What if she married a man who ignored her except when he wanted

to...wanted to...She repressed another shudder.

Yes, truly, her life was over.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the jarring of the carriage as it

slowed down. Margaret knew what expression she had on her face, so

she took a couple of deep breaths and smoothed her features. Slowly,

every sign of the feelings inside her chest had disappeared. By the

time the carriage stopped and the door opened, she had an air of

elegant calm.

On the other side of the door was a young man, not much older than

Margaret herself. Dressed in working clothes, he had a face that

could make women faint. Even Margaret felt herself warm enough to

flush slightly. He smiled up at her, his eyes a deep, clear blue.

She saw kindness in those eyes. Immediately, she trusted him.

"Margaret?" he asked softly, his voice like no man's voice she had

ever heard.

"Yes," she replied, taking his hand and allowing him to help her

down. His hand was warm and caused a pleasant tingle in her skin.

He let go of her hand to watch the driver steer the team into the

barn, then turned to her once more. "Did you have a pleasant

journey, ma'am?"

Margaret felt herself smile at him. A rebellious thought ran

through her head. *If my future husband keeps this man around, it

might not be as bad here as I thought.* She squelched it, but not

the positive thought that *this* man would never hit a woman.

"Yes, quite, thank you."

"I'm glad, he answered, studying her face.

She found herself blurting, "I lied."

Amusement tinged the blueness of his eyes. "Was the driver a little

rough then?"

"No. No. He was fine." Margaret dismissed this with a wave of her

hand.

"May I walk you to the main house?" At her nod, they began walking

and he continued, "Then what was the problem?"

It was her turn to search his face. There was something about him

that she trusted, an open honesty that she had never seen before.

"You won't tell?"

He gave a slight shake of his head. "Of course not."

She believed him. "I'm a little...um...nervous about

meeting...well, you know, him. What's he like?"

A puzzled look went over the servant's face. "By him, you mean...?"

"The man of the house."

"Ah."

She waited for a moment and, when he did not answer, she prodded,

"Well?"

"He's average looking...tries to do what's best....loves his

mother...not very good with women most of the time, though. Rather

shy when they..." He coughed, "...assert themselves."

"You like him?"

"Well, I'd have to say yes, most of the time."

Margaret breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad. I was afraid

he'd be horrible. No offense."

"None taken. But if you felt this way, why did you agree to marry

him, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well," She knew that it was none of his business, and that she

should not speak of it, but her only friend had been Mary. With her

gone, Margaret had had no one to tell her fears to. Making a

decision, she continued, "I didn't have a choice. My father made the

decision."

He drew his brows together in a frown--a rather endearing frown, she

noted, "And you just went along with it?"

She snorted. "Are you kidding? I told him..." She stopped. She

could not tell this man the things she had said, they were definitely

not things she wanted people, him especially, to know had come from

her mouth. "...I told him that it wasn't right not to consult me."

Then she shrugged. "But he's my father. What could I do?"

"I know...um...Benton agreed to this because..." He cleared his

throat, looking away from her, "...because his mother asked. She is

not well and wants to see him settled before she dies. I'm sure if

he would have known..."

"You think *he* would have cared about what I thought when my own

father didn't?"

"Yes."

Margaret stopped walking and put her hand on his arm. It was firm

and browned from being in the sun. "You know, I never even asked your

name."

When he faced her, his cheeks and neck started to flush. She read

an apology in his eyes.

"My name is Benton."

Shock made Margaret completely freeze for a moment. After that, she

wanted to turn and run. In horror, she ripped her hand from his arm.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry. I thought you knew."

She turned her back to him, rubbing her forehead. "Do you think I

would have said those things if I knew?"

"By the time I figured out you didn't, it was too late. Please

forgive me, Meggie. I'll send you home if you want. I didn't know

you hated the idea of marrying me."

He took her shoulders in his hands and made her face him. She

didn't put up a struggle, as something he had said took her breath.

"What did you call me?"

"Meggie? I'm sorry. It just...it just came out."

"Stop apologizing," she ordered, then softened at his hurt look.

"My mother used to call me Meggie. She and my newborn sister died

when I was seven. Nobody's called me that since."

"I won't call you that again."

She bit her lip and something made her say, "But I want you to."

The sad look on his face began to brighten a little. "You do?"

"Yes." She was sure now. Sure of everything. She had met her

dragon and he turned out to have soft teeth. "And Benton, please

don't make me go back."

"What?" His eyes widened.

"My father...my father, he doesn't love me, and I think...I

think..." She felt herself blushing.

"You think what?"

"I think that I could love you."

"You do? But what about..."

His voice trailed off as she leaned forward and took him in her

arms. Strength radiated from him, strength of body and strength of

character. Margaret knew that in him she had found a rare, precious

thing, and she wasn't letting go.

"I *am* going to love you."

****

October 28, 1134

Her eyes. That's what it was. They were the color of newly turned

earth, with flecks of goldenrod and hints of spring growth. He had

never seen eyes like that, eyes that could wrap a man in sweet

enchantment.

The first time he saw them, he was lost. He remembered it now, as

the cool night air brushed his skin. Was it only three months ago?

Could a person's life be so changed in such a short time?

Benton and his father had made the trip from their own kingdom to

honor the newly crowned King Samuel. The ceremony had been boring

for Prince Benton, who--despite his high birth--preferred the company

of his horse and hounds and the trees to the intrigue of his father's

court.

After the ceremony, Benton was led into the spacious ballroom. He

noticed the daughters of various nobles eyeing him, but he was just

uncomfortable and wanted to go home. His brother Stanley lapped up

the attention, and after depositing several women on the blond

prince's arm, Benton snuck away to sit in the corner.

He watched the festivities warily, noting that all princesses and

ladies seemed to look alike. A slight frown furrowed his brow and

disappeared. There were blonds, brunettes, and red heads; they came

in all shapes and sizes. Benton couldn't figure out what it was that

gave him the feeling of *sameness*. Stanley didn't seem to mind, as

everytime he went by there was another woman in his arms.

Prince Benton was just trying to think of a way to excuse himself

when he saw her. She came into the room gracefully, arm in arm with

an older man. Benton barely saw him, he was too busy staring at the

dark haired angel at his side. She was the picture of elegance. Her

dress was blood red--she must be of quite high rank, he thought, to

pull off that bold color--and the effect it made against her pale

skin and raven hair was enchanting. Everything about her screamed

lady, but Prince Benton had to give a soft smile. He believed she

had a sun burn on her nose.

"Who is that?" Prince Benton turned to the minor earl who had taken

refuge beside him.

"Who?...Oh, that's King Samuel's youngest daughter, Margaret. She

does clean up rather well, doesn't she? They say she spends her days

riding horses and practicing sword drills like a man. I'm sure that

kind of foolishness will stop, though, as soon as she marries Duke

Raymond."

Prince Benton absorbed the information and watched as the man at

Princess Margaret's side was called away. He got to his feet

confidently but, before he had even taken a step, nervousness and

shyness overtook him. What could he say to that beautiful creature?

Quickly, before he lost his nerve, he moved across the floor and to

her side. He gently cleared his throat, and she turned.

Her beauty was even more amazing close up. Almost, he forgot how to

speak. Dark eyes, flecked with green and gold, looked at him

questioningly.

"Uh...um...hello...My name is Benton...Excuse me...Prince Benton.

King Emerson is my father...You are...You are Princess Margaret?"

Her eyes swept over him and he hoped he passed inspection.

"Prince Benton, you do know I am engaged?"

"Yes, ma'am, but I didn't think one dance could hurt...um...What I

mean to say is, would you like to dance?"

The princess gave him a soft smile, but he saw laughter sparkling in

her eyes. She nodded and offered her hand to him.

As they came together, he noticed that she was petite but strong.

Her hands were gentle, but there was a fierce wildness in her eyes.

She, of all the women in the room, was unique.

"So...you are engaged?"

"Yes, to my father's friend. He's a nice man."

"When...?"

"A year from now. My father wishes me to wait until I am eighteen.

It's a shame he's out of daughters, I'm sure he'd think you or your

brother was a good catch."

Prince Benton reddened. "Father is looking for a suitable match for

Stanley. He feels I am too young."

"Too young? You must be older than I."

"Nineteen last birthday, ma'am. May I say, you dance very lightly."

It was her turn to color and break eye contact. They danced in

silence for awhile, Benton noticing that she had an enticing scent.

"Are you to be at the castle long?" Margaret asked eventually.

"My father plans on staying for about six months. He believes that

a suitable match for my brother could be here."

"Well, Prince Stanley does seem to be looking."

Benton gave her an amused smile, just as the song was ending. He

stepped away and bowed his most princely bow.

"It's been a pleasure, Princess Margaret. If, in the days to come,

you find yourself without a companion, I would be glad to do the

honors."

Her eyes sparkled once more as she curtsied and said, "I just may do

that, Prince Benton."

That was all it took, Benton thought, pulling his mind back to the

present and blowing on his fingers. Where was that girl? What if

she had changed her mind? The thought of that turned his blood to

ice. Marrying Raymond might actually be better for her. She would

have everything she wanted, things she wouldn't have as a runaway.

Benton knew that he was no prize and could see where Meggie might opt

for stability. His heart begged her not to.

The months he had known her, his whole life had altered. Never

before had he thought he could find someone who enjoyed the things

that he did. Instead of complaining, like his parents, when he spent

all day in the woods, she joined him. Since the ball, they had been

constant companions, sharing in a way Benton thought he never could.

"Ben?" came a whisper, so soft he almost didn't hear it.

Benton peered through the trees. He couldn't see anything.

"Meggie?"

There was sound then, the snapping of twigs, the brush of cloth

against bark. He held his breath, waiting. When she appeared, he

could not resist sweeping her into his arms and kissing her face and

neck.

"Meggie, Meggie, you came!"

"Of course I came, you moron," she laughed. "I love you. Did you

bring the horses?"

"Yes." Then, after a pause. "Are you sure about this, dearheart?"

"About what?"

Benton indicated the horses and himself with a hand. Margaret drew

her brows together.

"How could I not be sure?"

"Think about what you're leaving behind," he said softly.

"But I'm gaining *you*. Your blue, blue eyes. Your kindness. Your

generosity. Your gentleness. Your love. Oh, Ben, how can I weigh

any of it against that?"

He reached out and stroked her face tenderly, hardly believing how

his life had worked out. He had her, his Meggie, forever. The

realization made his heart fill. Happiness made him grab her up

again kissing her until they were both breathless. Before that

moment, he had not believed that a level of happiness so profound

was possible. Now he knew, and he knew that it was his every moment

that he had her.

********

December 9, 1724

Benton Montgomery stared out of the window into the cold New England

winter. Snow was falling gently from the sky, covering the ground

with a sprinkling much like that in his hair. He was an old man, and

he felt every year of it. The pain in his knees, the wrinkles on his

face, the wandering of his mind, all these tended to remind him.

However, Benton did not fear death, he welcomed it.

This thought almost made him smile as his gaze turned to the sky.

It had been a long time since he had smiled. Thirty five years this

coming summer. His once sharp mind was annoying in the keeping of

that detail.

His questing gaze picked out a star--the only one visible on this

snowy night. It burned brightly and seemed to call to him. It had

been so long, so very long.

Sometimes, like today, Benton couldn't remember what the date was,

or where he was born, or what his dog's name was, but always he

remembered her. Meg.

Meg the beautiful; Meg the fiery; Meg the enchanting. Meg of the

deep brown eyes; Meg of the sultry laugh; Meg of the gentle hands.

Once more anger and hatred gripped his gut, and he was too old to

remember why he had kept it hidden so long ago. Now, every night, he

sat at the window and cried for her, for the love that did not die on

that day.

Meg had been intelligent, she wanted to learn everything. She did

not believe that women had weak minds and bodies, only that society

had forced them to think so. Her fiery, proud nature had made her

refuse suitor after suitor and, in a scandalizing move, decide to

live by herself in her parents little cottage. Her soft heart made

her take in anything hurt and alone and frightened. That is how

Benton had met her.

He had been out in the woods--hunting rabbits, he believed. That

part was fuzzy. There was a fall, a terrible fall, and he lost

consciousness. He remembered waking up in a bed, warm and feeling

more safe than he ever had in his life. Opening his eyes, he saw a

concerned face looking down at him. He fell in love with that face

immediately. She was absolutely beautiful, with pale skin and eyes

that he could drown in.

She asked if he was all right, if he could remember who he was, and

she told him he would have to stay with her until he was well. Those

were the happiest three months of his life.

Eventually, though, both of them had to admit that under her

knowledgeable administrations he had grown fit once more. He had to

leave her and go home. Benton balked at the thought but Meg, she had

insisted. She forced him to go, and when he tried to show her how he

felt, she turned her back on him. It broke his heart, but he was

determined to someday prove his love to her. And that someday might

have come, if not for...

Benton closed his eyes and lay his head on the windowsill, letting

the coolness ease his blazing cheeks. He could feel the tears

coming, and he did not try to stop them. It had taken a long time

for him to be able to cry.

He had been sitting in his livingroom on that fateful day--not this

livingroom, he had sold that house long ago--reading, one of his many

dogs at his feet. Hearing a noise, he drew his brows together in a

frown.

"What could that be?" he asked the dog, but she didn't reply.

Putting a piece of paper in his book to mark the place, Benton got

up and went to the window. Moving the curtain, he peered outside to

see several people gathered in the street. His frown deepened as he

heard angry murmuring come from them. Moving to the front of the

house, he opened the door so her could hear what was being said.

His ears were exceptional, but with everyone talking at once, there

was only one word he could catch, repeated over and over.

"...witch..."

Benton rubbed his eyebrow with a knuckle. He had seen a witch hunt

before. It was not pretty. Somehow, people who claimed to be

completely logical lost control at the mere thought of magic. He

wondered what poor soul they were going to kill this time.

Then a whispered name reached his ears, and his blood ran cold.

Meg!

All calmness in Benton vanished as he ran to get his coat. Maybe,

maybe if he was quick, he could warn his love in time. He fairly

flew through the trees, Tucker at his heels.

As he approached her cabin, he saw a crowd of people surrounding it.

Some had torches, others pitchforks or knives.

"Meg!" he cried as he saw two men dragging his dear savior out of

her home, a home that was already aflame. They were rough with her,

but she walked proudly between them, her head held high.

*They think Meggie's a witch; they think Meggie's a witch* kept

running through Benton's mind as he took in the fact that her wrists

were scratched and bleeding from the ropes her captors had put around

them.

The people nearby began to shout obscenities. Benton winced and

then felt a knot of anger as they began spitting and throwing

things--vegetables, stones, branches. Meg couldn't even wipe the

spit from her face.

"It's time for your test," one of the men said, pulling her along by

the hair.

"No. Stop." Benton found his voice and tried to push his way

through the mob.

They pushed back. He struggled, desperately trying to reach Meg.

As the crows moved, he was swept along with them.

A chant started to vibrate around him. Benton gritted his teeth,

not giving up the struggle.

"Witch...witch...witch...witch..."

Each time they said the word, it was like a brand being pressed to

his heart. In his mind, he saw all the good that Meggie had done.

He thought of all the love he had for her but had decided to wait to

express. He refused to let her die before he could tell her.

A flash of color through the crowd caught his eye. Tucker. The dog

was weaving through legs and weapons at a frantic rate. For the

first time, Benton began to have some hope.

He saw Tucker lunge at the man holding Meggie. The man yelled,

trying to beat the dog off. Another man moved to help his friend.

Meg pushed away and it looked like she was going to break

free--until someone else moved forward and hit her with a hoe.

Benton screamed her name again as she fell heavily to the dirt. The

triumphant woman who had hit her grinned in satisfaction, a zealous

glint in her eyes.

His mind was so intent on Meggie, he almost didn't hear Tucker's

yelp as she was violently pushed away. Part of him hoped she was all

right, but most of him was lying on the ground with the woman he

loved.

"...we won't even have to tie her. Just hold her under..."

"...if she awakens..."

"...work magic unconscious?"

Finally Benton managed to wedge himself in between the people in

front of him. Wriggling, he moved forward slowly until eventually he

was on the edge of the crowd, which was moving towards the river.

"Stop it," he called. "This is foolishness. You're trying to kill

an innocent girl."

The man who had scooped up Meg, a man Benton had known all of his

life, turned.

"Go home, Benton. You can't save everyone. This here girl is a

witch. We have to stop what's been going on around here--sickness

and death."

"It's been a bad year, but that's no reason to kill Margaret Bain."

The man nodded to the people standing on either side of Benton and

he felt his arms being gripped tightly from either side. He

struggled to break free, but the hands got tighter.

"Let me go," he said calmly.

"Take Benton home. He doesn't understand the seriousness of what's

going on here, like when he hid that escaped murderer last year..."

"Jim was innocent."

This got him a pitying look. "Well, a jury hung and convicted him."

Then he nodded.

Benton found himself being dragged backwards-- away from Meggie.

All of his struggles and cries were unsuccessful in both freeing

himself and getting them to free her.

His last glimpse of her was a large man tightly tying her to a huge

post. He knew what would come next. His mind numbed a the thought

of them plunging a helpless Meg under the water until she drowned.

He cried out her name one more time, hoping she could hear him, then

settled into the hands that were holding him. He knew that, for the

rest of his life, the image of her limp form would haunt him. He

would never sleep again.

**********

December 27, 1392

The visit had been too short.

Benton Smythe thought this, but did not voice it as he and his wife

followed the others to the door. His eyes lingered on his daughter

Margaret, named for her mother. She was a pretty young woman,

receiving most of her features from Benton's wife, but her eyes were

blue instead of that wonderful shade somewhere between brown and

hazel. She also had happy eyes, something Benton was grateful for.

When she looked at her husband and their three children, love shone

from her face. Benton was glad that Meg had insisted their daughter

marry for love.

Rachel, Elizabeth, and Harold were clinging to their grandmother as

if they'd never let go. It was too seldom that Stanley managed to

bring his family for a visit--only once a year, at Christmas. Gazing

at the grandchildren, it was hard to believe they were Margaret's.

In his mind's eyes she was younger than they were.

"Come on, children. We have a long way to go," Stanley said firmly

and, to their credit, they kissed their grandmother, gave Benton a

crushing four member hug, and ran out into the snow. Stanley smiled

at both Meg and Benton, and then followed his children.

Left alone with her parents, tears came to Margaret's eyes. "I

can't believe it's time to go again. I miss you so much."

Meg reached up and cupped her daughter's face. "And we miss you.

It would break our hearts if you didn't come to see us every year."

Margaret wrapped Meg up in a hug. "Bye, Mother. I love you."

Meg kissed her and smiled. "Our love keeps us together."

She nodded and then hugged Benton. "Good bye, Father."

In his arms, she felt strong and capable, but her trembling tugged

at his heart. He held her closer, wishing that she and her family

could stay.

"Don't cry," he whispered, "Or you'll make me cry too."

She pulled away, laughing but running her thumbs under her eyes.

"Take care of Mother. I'll see you next year."

Then she turned and picked her way through the snow. As he watched

her and her family leaving, Benton wrapped his arm around his wife.

She smiled and leaned into him, making him look down at her.

After all these years, she was still beautiful. There was something

in her eyes that spoke of passion and laughter veiled by calm

serenity and efficiency. She had a rare smile, but when it appeared,

Benton was just as lost as he was the first time she had smiled at

him.

"Another year gone, Ben." Her voice was soft.

"Yes, another year older and another bit of happiness in my heart."

She chuckled at this, squeezing him tightly. "Someone once told me

that the measure of a person is not in what he owns but in the amount

of love he has from his family and the amount of respect people have

for him."

"Ah, yes. And someone tends to remind him of that every year or

two. As a matter of fact, she used it to convince him to let his

daughter marry a certain young man."

This caused her to sigh. "The house is always so empty when they

leave."

"Yes, I know, but think of the quiet time we get together."

This time when she looked at him, there was a wicked gleam in her

eyes. Benton felt himself flushing. She still had the power to make

him blush with just a look. "Now, Meggie, I think I know what you're

thinking."

"Oh, really, Ben?" she asked in mock horror. "Am I that easy to

read?"

Instead of answering this, he gently kissed her forehead. Then, he

said, "I don't know what I would have done without the love and

happiness you have given me."

"It has been a good life, hasn't it?" She pulled from him and took

his hand. He regarded her seriously. When he did not follow, she

continued, "It's been a long couple of days, Mr. Smythe, and we are

old. Don't you think it's time we went to bed?"

"To bed? With you? I thought you'd never ask."

Smiling, he squeezed her hand and followed her into the bedroom.

***********

July 28, 1755

Marguerite d'Entremont wiped a stray strand of dark hair from her

brow with the back of her hand as she turned from the fireplace. Her

gaze wandered to the faces around her. Happy, happy faces.

Little Marie was carefully cutting carrots, even the smallest knife

looking huge in her tiny white hands. Claire, though only three, was

proudly placing the dishes on the table. She loved it when Papa

hugged her and told her what a big girl she was. On the floor in the

corner, Helene played with Etienne, keeping the baby out from under

foot. Watching them, joy and love filled Marguerite. They were hers

and his. Together, the two of them had made something so wonderful

that at times it brought tears to her eyes.

"There, Maman," Marie said proudly. "I chopped them all myself."

"That's my girl. Come put them in the stew. You know, if there is

enough rabbit left, we will have a treat for tomorrow."

"Rappie pie!" Claire squealed in delight, almost dropping her

plates.

Marguerite grinned at her, getting a grin in return. "Just don't

drop Papa's plate. He'll be mad if he has to eat off of the floor."

This caused a chorus of giggles from the girls. Papa *never* got

angry. It was into this merriment that a small boy came charging

through the door. It banged loudly on its wooden casing, making the

baby jump and start to cry.

Marguerite scooped up Etienne, scolding, "Marc, how many times have

I told you not to bang open that door?"

"Sorry, Maman. What's for supper? It smells great."

He threw his mother a disarming grin and moved to the supper table.

"No, Marc, I get to sit by Papa!" Claire cried in protest as she

saw which chair he was taking.

"You can each take a side," their mother said, striving to keep

peace, as she bounced Etienne gently on her hip.

"Marc, did you leave the door open again?" came a soft voice as a

man entered the small house.

There was a general scream of 'Papa!' as Marguerite watched her

three daughters swarm the tall man in the doorway. The same look of

surprised amusement he wore every day went over his face, a smile

dancing in his blue eyes.

Not for the first time in their eight years of marriage, Marguerite

found herself studying Benton. His honest, handsome face showed a

kindness and patience that most of her brothers had lacked. His dark

curly hair was soft and perfect to run her fingers through. After

all of these years, the sight of him still made her heart beat

faster. Every time she saw him with the children, it made her love

grow stronger.

Flipping one of the girls onto his back and letting the other two

drag him to the table, Benton gave an appreciative sniff.

"Something smells wonderful."

"I helped cook, Papa," Marie told him proudly.

"I'm glad. You're a great cook," he replied, tousling her dark

hair.

"Maman said I could sit by you tonight, Papa," This was Claire.

Helene, the quiet one, didn't say anything. She just buried her

face in her father's shoulder, hugging him tight.

"How long for supper, Maman? I'm *starving*." Marc broke the spell

Marguerite seemed to be under. Once more the truth hit her that this

wasn't just any family, this was *her* family.

"Sit down, Benton. You must be tired." For the first time, she

noticed the dirt smudged on his face and in his clothes.

After first going to the basin, and forcing Marc to do the same, he

wearily sat down at the table.

"Can I serve tonight, Maman?" Marie asked eagerly.

Marguerite, who had also had a hard day, nodded and sat down.

Etienne settled comfortably in her lap.

"There was another meeting in Halifax today, Meggie," Benton

commented, shortly after Grace, taking a bite of bread.

"Another, mon cher? Why? It seems they always end the same. We

said we will not fight. That should be enough for them!"

"But some of us are French..."

"Benton!" Marguerite shushed him with a glare.

He nodded in understanding.

She, however, continued, "Some have taken the oath. Many have

fled."

She thought sadly of the good bye she had shared with her only

sister. Isabelle's husband had taken his wife and fled to Ile

Saint-Jean. When he had urged Benton to do the same, Marguerite's

husband had gotten that calm masklike look on his face. His jaw had

set stubbornly and he had replied that no one would drive him from

his home. Marguerite had felt a fierce pride in Benton at that

moment.

Benton's jaw tightened now. "Fled their homes because of a threat

we've been subjected to for almost a hundred years."

"I know, Benton. I know...Would you like some stew, Etienne? It's

good. Maman made it."

"What was the meeting about, Papa?" Marc asked, putting down his

milk glass. Marguerite noticed with amusement that it had left a

white ring on his upper lip.

"Nothing important," Benton assured him. "The English are blowing

smoke again."

"I heard that the..." Marc screwed up his face to remember, "...um,

New Englanders...That they want to throw us out of our homes."

"They're British subjects. All the British want to throw us out of

our homes," came the remarkably grown up reply from Marie.

"Marie, where did you hear that?" Marguerite demanded.

"Grandpere."

"Benton, you've got to tell him to stop scaring my children."

"I'm sorry, Meggie. I'll talk to him in the morning." Benton wiped

his mouth on his napkin and stood up. "Would you like me to take the

baby? I'm finished and you've barely touched your meal."

Marguerite gave him a grateful smile. Her husband was a rare sort.

He enjoyed taking care of his children, something those around him

considered a woman's place. She loved to watch him crawling around

on the wooden floor, a child on his back, or tickling Helene until

the normally serious child burst into giggles.

Now, she watched as he noted Etienne's drooping eyes. Gently

holding the baby to his chest, he moved around the room, singing

softly. By the end of his song, Etienne wasn't the only one with

heavy eyes. Helene had fallen asleep with her face on her spoon, and

Claire was gripping the table and blinking rapidly.

"I'll get the twins," Marguerite said, finishing the last of her

stew.

Gently, she brought one little girl into her arms, then the other

one. Marc and Marie knew that this was a signal for them to get

ready for bed also. They followed their mother into their bedroom

without complaint as their father brought the baby into the other

room.

There were two beds in the tiny bedroom. The girls shared the big

one and Marc got the little one all to himself--at least until

another baby pushed Etienne out of the cradle.

As Marguerite put the twins down, watching to make sure Marc and

Marie got undressed, Helene woke up and pursed her lips for a kiss.

This, her mother gave her without question, giving one to her twin as

well.

"My turn, Maman! My turn!" Marie said, jumping into bed with her

sisters. With a smile, her mother kissed her too.

"Well, Marc?"

At the age of seven, Marc was beginning to feel he was too grown up

for things like kisses.

"Well, what, Maman?" He looked at her with those honest, clear blue

eyes he had inherited from Benton.

"Do I get to kiss you tonight?"

He looked thoughtful, thinking it over. "I guess so, but just for

tonight."

Marguerite would always be grateful for that kiss.

It was just a short while later, after cleaning up the supper dishes

and massaging Benton's sore back, that Marguerite found herself

slipping into bed beside her husband. He sighed contentedly as she

wrapped her arms around him.

"We are truly blessed," he whispered, running his fingers through

her dark hair.

"Etienne spoke today."

"He did? What did he say?"

Marguerite laughed softly. "What do they all say first? Papa, of

course."

"Some day," he assured her, kissing her forehead. "One of them will

say Maman first and Marie will have to throw water on you to revive

you."

"Oh, I don't mind, Benton. When they want fun and spoiling, they go

to you, but when they're hurt or frightened, it's 'Maman! Maman!'"

A little smile of satisfied pride settled on her lips.

"They are growing up so quickly."

"Yes," she agreed. "Soon, Marc will be old enough to take over half

of the fields. That will be better on your poor back."

"I saw Helene in the orchard today. I don't think you'll have any

trouble getting her to help gather the apples in the fall. Little as

she is, she can still be of some use."

"I think," Marguerite commented, kissing his chest, "God blessed

our wedding day. It seems almost a sin to be so happy."

With a gentle finger, Benton raised her face to his. He kissed her

gently, softly causing warmth to flood through her body.

"You're tired," she protested, but not too firmly.

"I am never too tired for you, Meggie. I just want to show you how

happy you make me."

With a sigh, she gave in and fell into his love...

Marguerite was awakened by a pounding on the door. Beside her,

Benton stirred, but continued to sleep. With a frown, she covered

her husband and made her way to the main room of their home.

Glancing out a nearby window, she noticed that dawn was just starting

to tinge the horizon.

"I'll be right there. Wait a moment."

Still, the pounding continued. Grumbling, she stumbled to the door,

opening it a crack.

There was a man on the other side, an English soldier. He looked

cross and his bayonet was in his hand.

"Yes?"

He said something in his strange language, but she did not

understand. Benton was the one who knew pieces of English.

"I don't understand," she protested, shaking her head for emphasis.

"You must come with me," he told her in broken French.

"My husband..." Marguerite pointed towards the back of the house.

The man just stared at her and repeated, "You must come with me."

Two more soldiers joined the first at the door. They spoke to him

and he replied. Frustration and fear made Marguerite grit her teeth.

She hated not knowing what they were saying about her.

"Marguerite?" Benton's voice called from the bedroom

Just hearing him made relief flood her. Benton would know what to

do.

"Soldiers," she answered simply.

Within seconds, his face was at the door. He frowned slightly as he

saw the men just outside of his home. Quietly, he said something in

their language and was answered angrily. His frown deepened and he

spoke again. One of the soldiers moved forward threateningly. Benton

gave a slight nod.

"Marguerite, get dressed and dress the children."

"But, Benton..."

"Just do it!"

Hurt, Marguerite headed for the bedroom. Benton had never snapped

at her before. In fact, she had never heard him snap at anyone. She

wondered what was going on. Questions burned in her mind, but she

pushed them away. If her husband was frightened--he must be

frightened to snap that way--then now was not a time to question his

judgment.

She dressed quickly, then took the baby from his cradle. As she

went to wake the rest of her family, she heard voices. One was calm

and rational, and the other was harsh and angry. She wished she knew

what they were saying.

"What's going on, Mama?" Marie asked as Marguerite bent over her.

"It is very important to get up now, ma chere, and you must be very

grown up and help Maman dress the little ones."

Handing Etienne to Marc, who she had awakened first, Marguerite

started getting her other three children ready. Feeling her mood,

they helped when they could and remained completely silent. Etienne

began to cry in his brother's arms, but even his sobs were quiet.

The five of them, once dressed, huddled together, staring at their

mother with wide eyes. She looked at their faces, so solemn despite

their tender ages. Motioning with her head, she indicated that they

must all go face what was waiting.

Benton turned when he heard them enter. Marguerite avoided his

eyes, focusing her attention on her children instead.

"We must go with these men to Port Royale, Meggie," he said softly.

She lifted her head to look at him. His face was so masklike it

looked as if it would crack. His eyes, in contrast, were a raging

storm. Anger. Fear. Determination. Resolve.

"I will pack..."

"No. There is no time."

"But our things..."

"It was all I could do to get them to allow you to dress. You must

trust me. It will be all right."

She stared hard at him for a moment, then nodded, taking the baby

from Marc.

"Children, we are going on a trip. I want you to be extra good.

Show your father you know how to behave."

Round eyes and white faces were all that answered her. She hugged

Etienne closer, wishing she could hold all of her babies at the same

time. Benton knelt and took Helene in one arm and Claire in the

other. To Marie and Marc, he gave a small smile. Then he turned to

the English soldiers and gave them a sharp nod. Two moved to his

side, holding their bayonets ready. The last one came to Marguerite

and roughly took her arm. Frightened, Marc and Marie took each

others hand.

Then, the family of seven stepped out of their safe and happy home

and into hell.

Marguerite heard the screams as soon as the door opened. At their

sound, Marie and Marc pressed against her legs and the twins buried

their faces in Benton's shirt.

Her eyes started to burn as she took in the scene around her, and

she didn't know if it was smoke or repressed tears. Soldiers were

everywhere. They were herding people, striking some. Children were

crying for their parents, and all around were the flames. They

licked at every building, barn or house, and at tender new shoots.

Turning her head slightly, Marguerite saw a man with a torch come

forward and throw it at one of her own windows.

She wanted to join her neighbors in their screaming, to kick and

fight her way free. Pride and her promise to Benton stopped her.

Making her face as cold as her husband's, Marguerite put her back to

the home she had known for eight years. She was even almost

successful at blocking out the horrifying sounds.

The soldier gripping her arm spoke sharply. She looked to Benton.

Quietly, he told her, "He said if we come quietly none of us will be

hurt."

Marguerite's urge to wrench her arm from the soldier's grip and join

the others in their mad, unsuccessful dashes for freedom intensified.

Her dignity, however, would not allow it, and she couldn't bear the

thought of Benton believing she was a coward.

As she walked down the little dirt street that ran through the

centre of the village, she tried not to look right or left. Still,

out of the corner of her eye, the flames seemed to call to her. The

heat from them soon had her dress soaked with sweat. Inside of

her, something seemed to be dying, and she couldn't even find the

strength to pray.

They were in the labour camp for five days, crowded into room in the

fort and guarded at all times. When Marguerite asked Benton what

they were waiting for, he told her boats.

*Boats to where?* she wondered.

The children remained solemn and seemed to take on some of the

stoicism of their parents. Marguerite felt cold all of the time.

She tried not to show it, but Benton felt it. She knew this because

whenever they were alone, he tightened an arm around her. Those were

the only times she could feel herself almost relax.

It was on the fifth day when she was sitting listlessly, Etienne in

her lap, that she heard excited noises coming from outside the door.

At the sounds, the twins twined hands and Marie crept nearer to her

mother's skirts. Not for the first time, Marguerite's thoughts went

to Benton and Marc. The English had come for them that morning,

needing extra hands to help with some repairs. They had not been

back.

The excited noises went on for some time, and Marguerite could hear

the sound of boots going by her door. Each time they came, she held

her breath, hoping her husband and son would be returned to her.

Suddenly, the feet did stop.

Marguerite's hold on her baby tightened as she and her daughters

watched the door open. Behind it were three English soldiers--alone.

Quickly, she got to her feet. "Where's Benton? What have you done

with my husband?"

One of the soldiers said something and another one laughed.

Marguerite had to stop herself from wincing. How she was beginning

to hate their language.

The quiet soldier looked at her and spoke one word in French.

"Come." At least that's what she thought he said before he grabbed

her arm, his accent was horrible. The grip was tight enough to hurt,

but Marguerite schooled her features. She would show no emotion to

these men.

The man who had laughed put a firm hand on one each of Claire's and

Helene's shoulders. They looked at their mother with faces drained

of emotion. As Marguerite gave them an encouraging nod, she hoped

that someday they would learn to feel again.

The last soldier, the one with the rough, mocking voice, bent and

picked up Marie. The child was too frightened to even struggle.

Marguerite tried to move forward, but the man holding her arm

wrenched her back to his side. With the jarring motion, the baby

began to cry, finally wailing his second word.

"Maman!"

The man holding Marie turned and grinned at her. It was the most

sinister thing Marguerite had ever seen.

"Where are you taking us?" she demanded, while trying to soothe

Etienne with a stroking touch.

Her captor mumbled something that sounded like a twisted form of

'later', which didn't make sense. He didn't give her any time to

ponder it before following the other two men out into the beautiful

summer day.

Around them, others were gathered, Acadian and English alike. All

seemed to be going in the same direction. Marguerite's family was

swept away with the others. She craned her neck as they went,

searching for signs of Benton and Marc. She saw people she knew, but

non were her husband and son.

As they approached the docks, Marguerite suddenly understood. Two

boats had come. With them came the end of the world as she knew it.

Etienne, feeling her mood, began to cry again, but this time very

quietly.

"Maman!" Marguerite's head snapped around as she heard a child's

voice. Was that Marc? It sounded so like him that she was almost

positive. She stopped, causing her captor to tug on her arm. She

ignored him.

"Maman!" The call was desperate, but close.

"Marc?"

"Maman!" This time, the call was a little further away.

She peered through the people, trying to see her son. Her hope had

almost vanished when--there! And standing next to him, looking like

a beautiful angel, was Benton.

"Benton! Marc!" Marguerite and the little ones were being herded

towards one boat, but the other two seemed to be headed towards the

other.

Benton's eyes had been scanning the crowd, but at the sound of his

name, he turned. The way his eyes lit up when they saw her made a

warmth settle on her heart. His mouth even curled up in a rare

smile.

"Meggie!" he called to her.

She tried to move towards him, but the hand on her arm wouldn't let

her. Marguerite struggled to get away, but he held her tighter,

turning to say something sharply.

She wasn't looking at him, she was watching Benton. At her rough

treatment, his brows had drawn together in a scowl. He whispered

something to himself and tried to fight his way through the crowd.

Bayonets immediately crossed in front of him. He spoke, earning

himself a violent shove. He turned, swinging--which shocked

Marguerite as Benton had never raised his fist to anyone before--and

was immediately swarmed with English soldiers.

"Benton!" Marguerite screamed in anguish, trying to see him in the

ruckus.

There were suddenly two men by her side instead of one, both of them

grumbling and swearing--in the past five days she had learned some

English swear words. They firmly pushed her towards the boat, her

daughters already way ahead in the line. She looked longingly at the

place where Benton had disappeared, wondering how she was supposed to

choose between her husband and son and her daughters.

She didn't get to make the decision. It was made for her as the

soldiers holding her practically carried her towards the waiting

ship. There was thunderous noise all around her, but all Marguerite

heard was Marc's anguished cry. "Maman!...Papa, she was

there!...Maman!"

She never saw her husband or her son again.

*******

May 3, 1863

Benton stood there watching her, his face expressionless, his jaw

clenched. The fine angles of his sunburned face barely twitched. He

looked calm and controlled--or he would have if Meg could not see the

anguish in his blue eyes.

The rain fell around them. She could still feel his last kiss on

her lips. How she loved him, this maddening man who would not give

up. The man who stood, dripping, in the rain to watch her leave.

It had plastered his shirt to him. His curly brown hair lay flat

for once. Rivulets dropped off the end of his nose, from his ears,

and from his fingers. She was afraid he would catch his death of

cold.

Meg's gaze wandered over him, knowing she would never see Benton

again. Hungrily, she took in his body--those broad shoulders that

bore his burdens without complaint; those strong hands that gently

calmed her fears, as well as the fears of any animal in his keeping;

those long beautiful legs that had carried her through the doorway of

their new home; those tender lips that had kissed her until she

temporarily forgot the warmth of home. Everything. She wanted to

remember everything. Lastly, Meg's gaze went to Benton's eyes.

Those eyes had always told her the words his stoic face could not.

It was in their blueness that she always felt so safe.

Benton was crying.

Drops of water fell down her love's face, and not all of them were

raindrops. She saw tears meet and mingle with rain to slide down his

cheeks. His face remained self controlled. The contrast of

composure and tears was not lost on Meg. Those eyes called to her

more strongly than any voice could have.

*Meggie. Stay with me, Meggie. You don't have to go. We can make

a life here. I love you. Please...Please...*

She wavered a moment, watching the tears fall down his face. Her

heart seemed to be breaking in her chest, but she couldn't stay here.

This country, this--what did they call it?--wild west, it was not

her home. She had seen a man shot in the street. Guns hung

nonchalantly from every hip. She could not raise children here.

Home in New England, she would be safe. But she would be without

him.

Firmly, Meg wrenched her eyes from Benton's face. The cart she

would drive into town was waiting behind her. Without looking back

he lifted her skirt and nimbly got on board. She was not the

delicate flower that had arrived here a year before with her husband.

She could go home alone on that stage coach. She could face the

redicule of the people in her family's circle. Maybe she would tell

them Benton was dead.

As she flicked the reigns, she told herself she was not turning her

back on Benton. She was turning her back on this place and all the

hardships that went with it. She would not let herself regret this

decision. She firmly pressed this into her mind. Even so, she knew

she'd always remember his blue eyes crying in the rain.

***

June 7, 1917

Margaret Yonge sat at her kitchen window, staring out into the

darkness. Her heart felt like lead. She was so tired. It had been

ages since she had been able to sleep, but the weariness in her came

from something else. Loneliness, possibly. Pain, probably.

She knew how she looked. Every day, her mother told her, "Margaret,

you're not eating,"; "Margaret, the bags under your eyes are big

enough to use as luggage." The comments made her want to scream and

stamp her feet in temper like a child. No one seemed to understand.

If she closed her eyes, she could see him. He looked as he had when

he left. His curly brown hair had been clipped short, and that

uniform they gave him fit like a glove. Benton had been smiling,

Margaret remembered. His smile was a rare and beautiful thing. Just

thinking of it made her heart beat faster.

His eyes had looked at her adoringly. Maybe that's why she loved

his eyes so much, they always looked at her with such love. Her

mother had warned her not to marry Benton, but she couldn't say no to

those eyes.

Then, six months later, he was gone.

She had not cried when he got on the train. Instead, she remembered

the taste of his last kiss and the way he said, 'Don't worry.

There's nothing that will stop me from coming home to you.' Knowing

he believed this, Margaret had forced herself to smile. Her last

glimpse of Benton had been him saluting from the train window. She

had saluted back.

A year had gone by. It was a hard year. She missed Benton with a

passion her mother said bordered on obsession. Margaret didn't care.

She wrote him faithfully twice a week, and his occasional letters

home--filled with the 'I love yous' he rarely said in person--were

enough to keep her going. Then--six months ago--the letters had

stopped.

She had waited eagerly for the postman, meeting him on the street

every day, but time had dragged on without a letter. When a letter

did finally come, it had almost stopped her heart.

Margaret looked down at the crumpled paper in her hand. Every

night, she sat at this window reading the letter then crumpling it.

Somehow, she could never bring herself to throw it away. Burning it

might have been cathartic, but she was always stopped short by her

last memory of Benton. This letter was a piece of him.

She remembered the way it felt the first time she read the letter:

missing in action, presumed dead. At first, there was an

otherworldly feeling. It wasn't her Benton who was lost--dead?--out

there. It was someone else's. Her mother had come to her, taking

the letter out of her numb hands. She herself read it and then she

spoke. Margaret hated her for speaking. It was a dark, burning hate

that was fed every night by the rereading of the letter. If her

mother hadn't spoken, it wouldn't have become real. Margaret knew

this was foolish, but she had to hate something. Besides her mother,

the only thing there was to hate was Canada, and Margaret couldn't do

that. Benton had loved his country too much.

After the disbelief had come the pain. It was ripping, tearing pain

and tears refused to come to soothe it. Margaret discovered that she

had lost the ability to cry. In its place was this heavy feeling

that settled on her chest like a weight. It was hard to breathe,

hard to talk, hard to function with the weight pressing down and

down. The only thing she seemed able to do was sit in front of this

damned window and relive their last day together. One of these days,

the memories were going to suffocate her. This she believed with

what was left of her heart.

Margaret's attention was called from her memories by the movement of

the dog at her feet. She looked down and almost smiled. It seemed

like Bug's was the only company she could bear these days. He was

Benton's dog and had never taken to anyone else--until her. Benton

had tried to tell her that that was how he knew she was the one he

was meant to be with.

"I guess it's just the two of us, hey, Bug?"

The dog whined, getting to his feet. Margaret scratched him behind

the ears, thankful for the slight lull in her grief that he brought.

His ears and tail both perked up.

"You seem lively tonight, old friend. What is it?"

The dog almost danced as he looked at her with intelligent, eager

eyes.

"Oh no. It's too late to play tonight. We'll wake Mother, and you

know how she is..."

Margaret trailed off as a sound from the front door came to her.

Fear tightened her stomach, and her hand stilled in Bug's hair. The

sound came again--a banging. It was faint at first, and then louder.

Bug went forward carefully, inching towards the door.

"Is someone there?" Margaret's voice came out in a whisper. She

cleared her throat and tried again. "Who's there?"

Had she locked the door?

Clenching her jaw in an effort to fight fear, she moved towards the

sound.

"Hello?"

Margaret almost screamed as the door opened. She gripped the

windowsill. Her knuckles turned white as she prepared to give Bug an

order. The order never came.

"Meggie?"

Her mouth fell open, but nothing came out. Quickly, she scanned the

person in front of her. Green hat, blue eyes, strong jaw, green

jacket, wooden cane, black boots. In disbelief, her eyes went over

him again, hungrily taking in every inch of him.

She finally found her voice. "B...Benton?"

"I hope so, or Bug's not doing his job." Then he smiled.

Margaret's stomach felt like it did three turns before coming to

rest somewhere around her collarbone. Shaking began at her toes and

wound its way up her body.

"But...But..."

"I told you I'd come home. Have I ever lied to you?"

"They said..."

He slowly came forward, limping slightly. Raising a hand, he

stroked Margaret's face. His eyes seemed to be drinking in her

features.

"I could never leave you, Meggie."

She let out a heart wrenching moan and threw her arms around him. He

was solid. Margaret could feel him through his uniform. He felt

thinner but he was so *real*. None of her dreams had been this real.

Margaret continued to shake.

Benton's arms tightened, and he made soothing sounds in her hair.

Her body relaxed for the first time since Benton had left almost two

years before. With the relaxation, the wall she had built up for

protection came crashing down.

Softly, Margaret began to cry.

**********

"You know, this is very good," Frannie said, dropping a piece of

eggroll into her mouth. "Where'd you order from?"

Meg gave her friend a small smile. "I never divulge top secret

information."

Her smile was returned tenfold as Frannie speared from rice with her

fork. "I wonder what he's doing now."

Meg gave her a blank look. "Who?"

This gained her an amused stare. "What d'ya mean who? Fraser. I

bet he and Ray are out there right now, chasing bad guys..."

"And I'm stuck behind a desk."

"*We're* stuck behind a desk."

"You're not even a cop, Frannie...Do you want that last eggroll?"

"No, but I do all the work. If they want something it's, 'hey,

Frannie', or 'hi, Frannie.' When they don't want something, it's

like I'm not even there...Let's split it."

As Meg munched her half of the eggroll, her mind went back--for

about the thousandth time--to what Frannie had said earlier. How had

she gotten the idea of past lives from what Meg had seen? Yes, she

had seen Fraser--a different Fraser--but that didn't necessarily

mean...

She had been thinking about it all through their lunch. The picture

was dimmer now, as if fading, but she seemed to recall his dress was

somewhat rustic, old fashioned even--but that didn't prove anything.

Her train of thought was broken once more by Frannie's voice. "You

know, there's something I've been dying to ask you for weeks. I

don't want to pry, but..."

Meg sighed. This could be about anything. "What is it, Francesca?"

"Train."

"What?" Meg's eyes widened and her palms felt slightly damp.

"There it is again. Why is it that everytime the word train is

mentioned, you almost jump out of your skin? I saw your reaction

when Fraser said something about an incident on a train. What train,

Meg? What incident? What happened?"

Meg felt herself blushing. "Nothing. Nothing happened. There was

no incident."

"Don't pull that on me. I know what I saw."

Why did Frannie have to bring up the train? Events ran through

Meg's head, events she'd been trying to forget for months. You just

didn't forget things like Fraser's warm lips against your skin and

the way it felt to be in his arms just by trying. His admissions

that he couldn't forget either made it harder.

"Meg?...Meg?...Inspector Thatcher?"

"Sorry, Frannie. Believe me, there was no incident. None at all."

"I don't believe it." The dark woman poked her fork in Meg's

direction. "But I will drop it...for now."

The Mountie almost sighed again with relief. She was just about to

steer the conversation in a suitably safe direction when her phone

rang. Raising her eyebrows at Francesca, she answered.

"Canadian Consulate, Inspector Margaret Thatcher speaking. may I

help you?...Consulate du Canada..."

She was interrupted by a rough male voice. "I don't need the whole

French spiel. I couldn't speak French if my life depended on it. Is

Francesca Vecchio there?"

"Lieutenant Welsh, I presume? I could ask you a similar question.

Have you seen Constable Fraser?"

"Give me my employee, Inspector, and I'll make sure you get yours."

"It's a deal. She's done eating anyway. Good afternoon,

Lieutenant." Hanging up, she said, "It's time for you to be a good

little girl and go home."

Frannie rolled her eyes. "He probably wants me to bring him

coffee--bad coffee, I might add."

Trying not to smile, Meg asked, "What happened to your cappuccino

machine?"

"He confiscated it, like it was a toy in math class. Can you

believe that? Men!" With that, she got up, throwing her hands in

the air. "He wouldn't know good coffee if it bit him in the butt."

Then, heading towards the door, she continued, "Don't forget Date

with Destiny. You promised. If I see Frase, I'll tell him you're

looking for him. Oh, and think on this past lives thing. You never

know..."

"Bye, Francesca."

Frannie was already out the door, but she stuck her hand back in the

crack and gave a wave good bye. Shaking her head, Meg put on her

glasses and restarted what she had been doing before her visit with

the Italian whirlwind.

*******

"You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, Fraser. Come in."

He did so, closing the door behind him. Then, as usual, he stood at

attention, with his hat behind his back. She studied him a moment,

noticing his usually neat hair was slightly mussed. Who knew what

dangerous stunt he had pulled with that awful detective?

Noticing that the silence had stretched too long, she spoke again.

"There was something I wanted to speak with you about this morning,

but it somehow slipped my mind."

"Yes, sir?"

"There is a Consular ball at the end of the month--the 29th. You

are expected to be there in formal dress. I also will be attending,

as well as Turnbull, though I don't know if that's wise. I'm still

getting phone calls from the Australian ambassador."

She gazed into his face, searching for signs of any emotion or

reaction. Of course, there were none. Then, a crawling feeling

started at the base of her neck. The last time she had looked at him

like this, her whole world had shifted. She waited, but this time

nothing happened.

"Yes, sir. Are you all right, sir?"

"All right?" she asked sharply. "What do you mean all right?"

"It's just that you look a little pa...Never mind." He shifted his

gaze from hers. For a moment, she was disappointed.

"And don't forget, you've got sentry duty this afternoon."

There. A twitch. She knew she saw it. That was Fraser's version

of a wince. For some reason, she was perversely pleased.

"No, ma'am."

"You are dismissed...And whatever you and the detective did today, I

disapprove."

"Understood, Meggie."

Meg froze, a shiver going through her. There was something about

the way that sounded...

Angrily, she asked, "What did you just call me?"

"Sir?" Puzzlement came to his face as he drew a thumb across his

eyebrow.

"Just now," she demanded, "What did you call me?"

"Sir, sir?"

His innocent expression enflamed her further. "You called me

Meggie, not sir, Fraser."

"Meggie, sir? Are you sure?"

She bit her lip momentarily. Was she sure? Then, she grit her

teeth. "Of course I'm sure."

"Well," He still sounded puzzled. "I have no idea why I'd call you

Meggie, sir. Inspector, sir, or ma'am, certainly. I can see

Margaret, as it's your first name, or maybe even Meg because I've

heard people call you that, but Meggie...I can't think of any

reason..."

"That's enough, Fraser." Her voice could have cut glass.

"Understood." Then after a pause, he said quietly, "Maybe you just

look like a Meggie."

"Fraser."

"Sorry...Could I have heard someone call you that, sir?"

Meg shook her head sharply. "No one's called me that since I was

five years old. Now, once more, you are dismissed."

"Understood."

As she watched Fraser go, it seemed a million conflicting emotions

were going through her. Some, she did not understand, and

others--like loss--were all too clear to her. She had been

devastated when her grandmother died. Her memories of the time

before she started school were of her mother and father as discipline

and her granny as love. Granny had been the most important thing in

her world and, even now, when all she could remember were warm hugs,

smiling gray eyes, and the smell of chocolate chip cookies, the

memory of her death was still a sharp presence in Meg's heart. The

question was, how had Fraser come to call her the pet name only her

grandmother had used? His puzzlement and innocence had only served

to disorient and fluster Meg, two feeling she hated

owning--especially in front of Fraser.

Confusion as to her feelings about *him*--as opposed to anyone else

in the universe--calling her by that name almost overwhelmed her.

Had she felt a secret joy in it? Or was that unnamable feeling fear?

Without her consent, her thoughts wandered to Date with Destiny.

Francesca's words filled her mind. "Everytime she turns

around--there he is!" There was something about the past day that

was trying to fit together in her mind, and it infuriated Meg that

she couldn't put it together.

With a sigh, she forcefully turned her mind back to the paperwork in

front of her. The difficulty in turning it made her wonder if it

would be fair to give Fraser another month of sentry duty just for

calling her by a form of endearment.

As she thought of the word endearment, Meg felt herself flushing.

What would her reaction have been if his voice had been soft and

gentle instead of cool and impersonal when he said it? She had a

sneaky suspicion that she would have fallen apart.

"Meg," she said sternly, "How could you allow a man to have that

much power over you? You should be ashamed."

She wrenched her thoughts back to her papers and this time--with

sheer determination--she was able to keep them there.

************

Meg was bored. All of these Consular balls were the same--smile and

pretend you were having a good time while you were listening to the

dullest person on the face of the planet. Still, she had managed not

to scream. In fact, all of the men and women she talked to seemed to

find her fascinating. Then again, they could have been faking it as

much as she was.

She was beginning to wonder if the red dress was a good idea. It

seemed to allow everyone to be able to find her. Someone had told

her once--or twice--that red suited her, so she wore it for his

benefit. Now, she had to put up with being the most notable person

in the room--everyone else seemed to have chosen subdued colors like

blue, black, or green, and *he* wasn't even there. A feeling in her

gut told her that Fraser was out there with that spiky haired moron

and that he would not make it to the ball. This thought made Meg

grit her teeth, and the man who was yapping at her in what sounded

like gibberish stopped in mid-sentence and excused himself. Meg

barely noticed.

Her eyes searched the room once more and she bit her lip, wondering

if she should be worried. Sometimes Fraser's exploits were

harmless, but other times...Unbidden, her mind went back to a time

when Fraser and Vecchio--the real Vecchio, not that blond freak who

called himself Vecchio--had come into a room strapped to both each

other and a bomb. She remembered that she had been annoyed at

first...and then the bomb had been revealed. Her heart had stopped.

Fear for him had almost made her refuse when she was told to be the

messenger, and only the urging in Fraser's eyes had made her go. She

was so relieved that he lived through the ordeal that if they hadn't

been in different buildings, she thought she might have hugged him

breathless. Of course, since they were, she had to be satisfied with

calling him 'moron'. Semaphore made it safe for her to use it as an

endearment. How would he know that her usual insult had been signed

with relief instead of venom?

Thinking of this made her smile slightly. She was still smiling

when she noticed Fraser enter the room. Her eyes lingered on the

perfection of his form. She was not the only one in red, and Fraser

looked better in red serge than anyone else she knew. His appearance

was neat and there were no signs of any injuries. Meg found herself

relieved that he made it home unscathed once more.

Her eyes had been on him almost a minute before she realized he was

looking at her as well. She felt herself blush as she accidentally

met his eyes. He gave her a tentative smile, so sweet it almost

broke her heart. Instead of slamming up her wall as she usually did

when he smiled at her, she gave him a slight nod. She was glad she

did as it made his eyes sparkle. Whether in amusement or happiness,

she wasn't quite sure.

Meg turned her face from him, though her thoughts were still on him.

Over the past month, it had become increasingly difficult to forget

what had happened on the train. She was uncertain if the cause of

this was her talk with Frannie or that...that...whatever it was.

Some of her pleasure at seeing his whole hide left her then as she

thought of the dreams. The vision of Fraser crying in the rain

haunted her nights. The vision of Fraser crying in the rain haunted

her nights. At times, it was so intense that she woke sobbing.

"Excuse me, sir."

Meg's breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice right

next to her ear. It was low and soft and it caused a tingle to go

down her spine.

"Yes, Fraser?" she whispered. She couldn't help it.

"Um...would you...I mean, if it would, uh..."

She looked at him, raising an eyebrow. "What are you saying,

Fraser?"

He cleared his throat. "Would you like to dance, sir?"

"Dance? With you?" He was regarding her levelly, no hint of his

thoughts on his face. Sometimes when she looked at him, she wanted

to crack that mask of indifference to find out what was underneath.

She supposed that was what made her occasionally go to far with her

discipline.

Knowing what thinking about it would make her say, she didn't give

herself time to think. "Certainly, Constable."

That little smile came to his face again and she found herself swept

into his arms. They were firm against her and he smelled wonderfully

familiar.

"May I say, sir," he commented as he moved her expertly across the

floor, "You look very lovely this evening. Red suits you."

"Why, thank you, Fraser."

Should she tell him that red suited him as well? Then she

remembered the few times she had seen him in the less formal uniform.

It looked even better on him than red serge. Yes, brown suited him

as well. In fact, it seemed that even an old paper sack would suit

him. Meg let these thoughts play through her head but she remained

silent.

As they danced around the room, Meg gave in to the bliss that was

reaching for her. Fraser was an excellent dancer and being in his

arms was almost hypnotic. She found herself relaxing and, dropping

her wall, let herself be completely Meg.

She didn't realize how dangerous that was until she noticed she was

gazing boldly into Fraser's face. He noticed at the same time she

did, and he blushed as his eyes met hers. Meg felt around inside

herself for the wall, suddenly desperate to slam it back up again,

but she couldn't find it. As emotions seemed to swirl inside her,

she hoped they didn't show on her face.

"All you all right, sir?"

There was that question again. Something must have shown on her

face. Pure fear made her pull from him, saying fiercely, "Stop

asking me that."

Then she fled.

As she quickly left the room, her cheeks burned in shame. How many

people had seen her undignified exit? She made her way to her

office, trying to sort through the feelings Fraser's touch had

brought out in her. She still couldn't turn off the emotions. What

was wrong with her?

Throwing her purse in the chair Frannie occupied everytime she

dropped in, Meg went to her desk and leaned against it. Hanging her

head, she took several deep breaths.

*You will not be afraid of Fraser...You will not be afraid of

Fraser...*

"Sir?" A soft voice and a timid knock sounded behind her.

"Dammit, Fraser, can't you just leave me alone?"

She whirled to see him standing there, pushing a hurt look from his

face. It rippled there for a moment before his expression became the

same one he always wore. Meg was angry at both him and herself. How

could he look at her like that? Didn't he know what it did to her?

"I'm sorry, sir...I thought...You...um..." He cleared his throat.

"I need to speak with you." She looked at him incredulously. "If I

have done anything to offend you, I apologize."

Softly, Meg answered, "You have not offended me, Fraser."

The anger drained from her as quickly as it had come. She regretted

yelling at him, and she regretted running from him in the ball room.

Somehow she couldn't make herself regret the dance. Slowly, she ran

a hand over her forehead. "I should be the one who is apologizing."

"Sir?"

Meg heard a hint of surprise there and almost smiled. She was going

to tell him something suitable and was more shocked than he was when

the truth slipped out. "I was not prepared to dance with you."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean, ma'am."

"It doesn't matter. It's unimportant in the scheme of things."

He came forward then, stating, "Not to me."

She searched his face, simply telling him the truth as she had

longed to for months. "I am afraid."

Warning bells went off in her mind then. She had learned several

hard facts in her life. Never show weakness. Pretend you don't

notice the difference in the respect shown to you because you're a

woman. Shoot first, whether with words or weapons, and you won't be

the one who's hurt. Never, ever, admit that you're afraid. But she

just had. Part of her was screaming, calling her a moron; the other

part of her was filled with relief. She didn't have to hold this

from Fraser any longer.

"Afraid of what?" he asked gently, as if he were talking to a

startled deer.

"You...well, not you exactly..."

"Are you afraid that my touch will overwhelm you?...Are you afraid

of losing control like you never have before?...Are you afraid that

what little the others have left of your heart will shatter?...Are

you afraid that you will risk it all and lose?"

She listened to the words coming out of Fraser's mouth and it seemed

like it was her heart that was saying them.

"How did...how did you know?"

He whispered, looking into her eyes. "Because I...I am afraid too."

Was he saying...? Did he mean...? She wanted to ask him. She

thought she'd die if she didn't know, so Meg opened her mouth to

speak. Nothing would come out. She tried again, but still with no

result.

Then his arms were around her, warm and safe. She settled against

him, breathing him in. He smelled like nothing else she had ever

known and felt better than life itself.

"It's all right, Meggie. We'll fight the fear together."

**************

Epilogue

June 26, 2003

Meg Fraser was sitting very cozily in her own livingroom. It was

early morning and she was wearing her largest bathrobe and her fuzzy

slippers. She yawned sleepily, as she did every morning, sipping her

coffee and gently petting the aged white head in her lap.

On the floor in front of her sat three people, two of which were

giggling hysterically. The other, her husband Ben, was making his

puffin face while saying, "Come on now, Bobby, you've got to make the

puffin face. How's Grace supposed to learn if you don't show her?"

He tried to look serious, but his blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

The children knew the routine--the puffin face was as much a part of

Daddy as his gentle voice and his warm bear hugs.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," Grace babbled, getting up on her unsteady

feet.

Benton fluidly moved to his hands and knees as the two year old came

over and put her hands in his mouth. Ben pretended to eat them,

causing the baby to shriek in mock terror.

"Don't worry, Gracie. I'll save you!" Bobby exclaimed, getting

into the game.

Meg watched her son leap onto his father's back, yelling like a

banshee. Ben let out a great roar and somehow managed to take both

children into his arms to roll around the floor. Meg sighed

contentedly--another average morning in the Fraser household. The

wolf in her lap echoed her happy sound.

It never ceased to amaze and delight her. The joy Ben took in his

children was so much more than she had ever seen. He had been at

ease with them right from the beginning, knowing what to do almost

instinctively. If she hadn't known better, she would have sworn he

had hordes of children hidden away. He had had to teach her many

things, and what once she would have resented she then loved him

enough to take great pleasure in.

For some reason, it had always seemed important to Benton that his

children know how much he cared for them. She had even seen him--a

man who held duty as his most sacred law--at times give cases to

other people so that he could spend time with Bobby and Grace. It

made a profound impact on Meg, who took her lead from him. She had

to admit that it seemed to be the right choice. Grace and Bobby

seemed to be much happier than she had been as a child--and something

told her happier than Benton as well.

As she watched Benton, it seemed ironic to her that a vision of his

broken heart was what had brought them together. Somehow, that

glimpse of whatever it was--Frannie still swore it was a soul

memory--had made Meg open her heart. She thanked God every day for

it, and she promised herself on their wedding day that she would

never be the cause of his tears--unless of course they were happy

ones.

The phone range then, and Meg reached to the one on the end table.

The other three Frasers never even ceased their play.

"Hello?"

"My God, Meg, you sound half asleep. Aren't you up yet?"

"Just barely. Good morning, Frannie."

"What's that noise in the background? It sounds like Fraser's

hunting a bear."

"Two. They're little, but they're ferocious. Couldn't this wait?"

"Renny said you two would be late. I should have known he was

right. He knows you even better than Ray or Stan...No, honey. They

aren't at the airport yet...Listen, if you don't mosey, you're going

to miss your plane."

"We couldn't have that, could we?" Meg asked in mock horror.

"Hey, we arrived in Chicago yesterday--It's such a relief to get out

of that tiny place in Nova Scotia they call a town. I'm so glad we

got transferred back--all that we need now to be a complete family is

the four of you."

"Don't worry. We'll be there."

"If I know you--and I believe I do, Meg Fraser--you're sitting there

on the couch sipping coffee with that huge wolf in your lap, taking

your good old time about waking up."

Meg had to laugh. Despite their different personalities, it was

scary how well Frannie Turnbull knew her. Laughing came easy to her

now. It made her feel good--and free. Ben had confessed to her once

that what had first drawn him to her was the sadness in her eyes. He

said that it had been like her constant companion, and he was

perpetually tempted to love it away. Meg liked that. She also liked

the fact that he had managed to do it.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Oh, Frannie, you know me too well. I'm going to get ready right

now. See you in a couple of hours."

"All right. I'll tell Ma to have dinner ready."

Meg was still smiling as she got up, causing a groan from

Diefenbaker. She made her way across the room, around three writhing

bodies--it seemed Ben was tickling them now--and to the hallway. At

the door she turned back and felt tears come to her eyes. The

picture in front of her overwhelmed her for a moment as she realized,

not for the first time, how very rich she was. Once more, she said a

silent prayer, knowing she owed everything to blue eyes crying in the

rain.

THE END