So here I am. 'Till yesterday I was a reader of Fan Fiction.. today I am a writer? Oh dear!
First of all I'd like to thank (as kindly as I can) my sister Luisa, who made it possible for me to enter in the world of due South on internet. I could never thank you enough, you know. A big TYK to be my test-reader. And... CANADA: wait for us in August 1998!!!
Umm... I would also like to thank Hsu-Lyn Yap. You don't know me, but I've read "The card conundrum" and, since then, your idea of Elaine and Ray together captured my mind. So, I can say *you* were my inspiration. TYK!
And to all of you, dear readers, please be nice to me. (Excuse me for any mistake using English).
This is my first post to the list and I hope you'll enjoy it. This follows directly the episode "The witness" (second serie)
Comments very greatly appreciated at: ciriciao_fly@hotmail.com
Oh, and let me know: am I the only Italian girl who visits the D.S. sites and sees the serie on T.V.?
Category: Romance. Rated: G.
Disclaimers: They are not mine (what a shame!) and I'll have no profit using them.
*****
Dedicated to Melissa: my first friend in DS FanFiction's world.
by Silvia Mosca
-FROM THE DIARY OF ELAINE BESBRISS-
Did I really think I could have been able to make you fall for me acting that way? Well I was hopeless, but now it is growing worse and I know I've made a mistake. I should've choosen a different way to demonstrate that I'm here, that I care... that I am something more than just someone to rely on if you need a favour.
I understood you were the *right one* for me since my first day in the precinct when you appeared in front of me. With your smart smile, your sunglasses on, you turned by my side and said "I'm detective Vecchio..." then taking off the sunglasses and showing your beautiful grey-green eyes you continued "Ray". I thought I couldn't be able to say a word. I felt my heart running a runaway, my cheeks burning... then Huey and Gardino arrived, ready to start a fight for an incredibly stupid reason I can't remember. Listening to their voices your smile faded away and something changed in your eyes. All the sweetness and care vanished in a few moments and, yelling something in Italian, you went away and sat at your desk.
After your first words it has been more and more difficult to see that sweet light in your eyes again. I suppose you decided I was exactly like all the others in the precinct, that it wasn't a worth-while effort trying to have a friend behind them. When people think you are not good in your job, when *even* your collegues show no interest in you, the wall you built all around you to prevent the pain became such a part of yourself you can't really exist without it, and cynism is all you have to comunicate with the world outside.
It was a shock for me to know about Angie and Teresa; but it also helped me to understand your feelings and resentment. And it simply let my love for you grow more.
Then Fraser came and everything changed.
He was so handsome, so correct, so innocent and pure... oh, so Canadian! Like a bolt from the blue a thought worked its way into my mind: I could use jelousy. And that was the beginning.
I thought it could have been a good plan to move your hard surface and to prove you I was by your side. I did it trough Fraser, was it so difficult to understand? I looked for your eyes in his, for your voice in his words. But you thought I was really interested in Benton. Why not, if each and every woman fall for him? Why not me? It is simply said: 'cause I've got place in my heart for just one wonderful Chicago cop whose name is Ray Vecchio.
Now my plan is working against me. You think I want to take your only friend away from you... I could never do it. I could never hurt you that way. I know that Fraser now is a part of you (alone you are incomplete but together you are better than you are separate!!!). And although Ben has separated us a little more, I've got to thank him, oh, so kindly, 'cause he has brought back that magnificent light in your eyes: the light that means trust and hope in the future.
I could hardly believed it when today my telephone rang and I heard your voice. I had just finished taking a shower, I was wearing a towel and my hair were trickling water on the pavement while I was thinking of a possible reason for you to call me at home. A thousand fantasies passed through my head, then you said you needed to talk to me. Although your request was unexpected, I accepted entusiastically, hoping to spend at least five minutes alone with you. Then I heard the *well known* "Thank you kindly" and I understood Fraser was with you. This hit me badly, so I decided to use my hard cover as you usually do. I took with me my after-shower "necessaire" just to let you know how your acting have puzzled me. You've showed me the way to your beloved car, while explaining me the reason of your call. Did you really want me to seduce a man in the archives? My first thought was "Why can't I seduce you, instead?", but I went on with the comedy telling you couldn't bother me in my day off, that I have a life to relish. What really hurted me were your words "Elaine, you have no life. Stop whining" Oh Ray, if you only knew... if you could just imagine... how I would like that *my* private life could be *ours*. I know it is still too soon, you've just began trust people again... I'll wait for you, no matter how long it will take. I'll estinguish my attentions towards Fraser (jelousy, obviously, doesn't work) and I will focus all my energy on you. I think I'll have a chat with Benton, I will ask his help. I've tried with Diefenbacker, but apart some "Whine" and "Woof" I didn't have other replies.
Fraser is my only resource. I will open up my heart to him, and I know that he will understand and he will help me, too. I'm sure of it. It is in his *nature* to help anyone who's in need, no?
It's 1.25 p.m. ... time to sleep.
Good night my love, sweet dreams.
the end... for now (?)