By Amethyst

 FEEDBACK
 
 
 
 
 

        Stanley Raymond Kowalski knelt down at the tiny headstone marked with the statue of a young angel and brushed some of the dying flowers away from the name to replace them with the fresh ones he had brought. His fingers traced his son's name Michael Raymond Kowalski. It had only been a short while since Francesca had fallen over the stairs and their precious child died in her womb.
         The doctors told them he was not even fully formed, barely 20 weeks, but that didn't matter to Ray. He purchased a burial plot and he and Francesca gave their son a name. Ray missed the little boy he never even got to hold and he pictured him with Francesca's beautifully olive complexion and maybe his eyes. He would have been beautiful, Ray was sure of it, and he knew there would always be that tiny place in his heart that nothing else would ever fill, the part that Michael took away when he died.
         He and Francesca were doing much better lately, though Ray knew he was still way to sensitive and prone to push his feelings away, but with Fraser's help and the Vecchio family's persistence he was getting better. On a spur of the moment he had proposed to her, they had both still been emotionally wrought after the loss of Michael. He had given her his bracelet in place of a ring and she wore it every day, regardless of what else she might be dressed in. She wore all other jewelry on her right hand and wrist, leaving her left especially just for Ray's charm and he always got a warm, treasured feeling when he saw the way she displayed it.
         Ray Vecchio and Stella had returned to Florida, or wherever they now called home. Ray had little interest in knowing the exact location and things were a little less tense at the Vecchio home.  He and Fraser were falling right back into sync with their partnership and were once again almost inseparable. The Mountie had been promoted to the position of Inspector and offered a post at the Chicago Consulate should he want it.
        Passing ahead at least four lesser positions as if to make up for the past way the RCMP had treated him, when he turned in one of their own for killing his father. But the Mountie decided to take a reduction in rank to Sergeant Major, with a special clause that allowed him to continue investigations in the field and not be stuck behind a desk, as Sergeant Buck Frobisher once warned him about. Fraser did this so he could remain a partner with Ray and the detective felt a little guilty over it, but was grateful none the less.
         Still, he felt a little concerned for the Canadian, who had made no attempts to find himself a girl friend since his arrival. Not that Fraser ever looked for one, but Ray felt it would be better because he couldn't spend all his time with his friend as he once did, Francesca would get angry and say he was neglecting her. He just wanted the Mountie to be happy and no longer alone.
         Fraser had asked him a few weeks ago if he was happy with Francesca and Ray hadn't known how to answer him. Of course he loved his fiancée dearly, she brought new meaning into his life, but to actually admit he was happy was something Ray was not yet willing to risk. There was still that fear that she would be somehow taken away from him if he said it aloud. He rose from the grave reluctantly, and cast a final loving glance at his son's resting place , before heading back toward the car, where his friend and a familiar wolf awaited him.
         They stopped at the Library next, at Fraser's request and Ray waited outside as the Mountie hurried to drop off his previously burrowed books and quickly select a few others. He knew exactly the ones he had wanted, for he had seen them on his last visit and he went directly to the mystery novel shelf and promptly found the three novels. He then walked toward the front desk of the library and presented his card to the pretty red head at the counter, whom appeared to be new, as he did not recognize her.
        She offered him a polite smile, not the usual dazzling greeting he often received from the other women that worked there, each with a come hither look in their eyes. This woman barely afforded him the minimal glance that courtesy required as she took his card and scanned in his books, stamping them with the return date in the card provided in the back of each book.
         "Your books will be due back a week from Saturday Mr. Fraser."  She informed routinely, as she placed the books in a sack and returned them with his card.  "Have a nice day."
         "Thank you kindly." Fraser tipped his hat to her politely as Gertrude, the older woman that ran the library walked up.
         "Out of uniform so early on a week day, Benton?" she inquired with a warm smile.
         Fraser returned her smile fondly, he liked the tiny matron who looked every bit the picture of a Librarian in her knee length blue print dress. Soft snow white hair curled into a neat bun at the nape of her neck with spectacles perched easily on her nose that added to the image and she barely came eye level with the Mounties's chest.
        "We are currently undergoing a series of infestations at the Consulate and so we have had to close down temporarily until the matter can be properly dealt with." He explained. "I am technically off duty so I prefer to wear my casuals." The woman glanced over the meager selection of books he held.
        "Only three this week, Benton?"  She commented surprised. "You'll have those read in a couple of days."
         "It will be all I have time for this week, ma'am." He informed, as he braced the bag of books under his arm and took his hat off to her. She smiled and her hazel eyes twinkled merrily.
         "Has that partner of yours been running you ragged chasing ruffians my boy?" she teased and Fraser tilted his head a little, neither denying nor confirming her suspicion.
         "I enjoy working with Ray very much." He assured. "The pursuit of criminals is a just one and I cannot fault any extra work that goes into apprehending them." He smiled again.
         "Don't work to hard now love." She fretted patting his arm affectionately. "I hope you have this Thursday free, they are doing a reading of Robert Frost at the community center and I want you to come." Fraser brightened.
         "I would enjoy that very much," he accepted. "Thank you." Gertrude indicated the woman that had checked his books.
         "Have you met Lilia?" she introduced as Fraser politely turned his attention back to the red head. "She's just started this week and she is a God send." Fraser watched Lilia blush shyly and busy herself with stamping someone else's books.  "Lilia Baker this is Sergeant Major Benton Fraser, you'll probably see him around here often he loves to read." Fraser extended his hand to her and she briefly shook it.
         "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Baker." he offered and she nodded politely.
         "Nice to meet you Sergeant." She returned quietly as Gertrude continued speaking.
         "She has done wonders with the shelves so far, you know I can't get up to clean and organize them very well anymore."
         "It is my job, Mrs. Dorwin." Lilia informed modestly and the older woman just chuckled.
         "I understand that dear, but so many other people that I have hired don't feel the same way." She insisted, as a tall, good-looking young man with wildly erratic wheat blond hair and blue-green blue eyes walked up. "Ah, there is your side kick." She teased, as Fraser greeted his partner, and Gertrude extended her arms for the hug she always required from him, which he gave readily despite the low bend he had to make to reach her comfortably.
         "Hi Mrs. D." he greeted tenderly and she gave him an extra squeeze before releasing him and allowing him to straighten to his regular height.
         "I am sorry, Ray. I did not mean to take so long." Fraser assured, as Ray nodded then glanced at Lilia, always alert for a new female face.
         "This is my new assistant Lilia." Gertrude introduced noticing the detective's interest. "This is Detective Ray Kowalski he is Benton's partner." Ray moved to shake her hand.
         "Pleasure." He assured smoothly, though Fraser noticed she didn't maintain the contact with Ray any longer than she had with him. She nodded again.
         "Will you be around often as well, then?" she inquired cordially and Ray laughed.
         "Not me!" he declared amused. "I don't read anything without pictures- I just wait for the movie to come out." Gertrude slapped his arm playfully.
         "Now Raymond." She scolded, though her eyes still held their special sparkle that was afforded only for Fraser and Ray. "I happen to know you read quite a bit, Benton has informed me so." Ray glared at the Mountie who could only shrug and grin.
         "Well, you do read books Ray." He agreed. "You have even loaned me a few that..."
         "Fraser!" Ray exclaimed exasperated. "Yer gonna ruin my rep now button it." Gertrude laughed at their playful exchange.
         "You no longer have a rep, Ray." Fraser reminded his blue eyes twinkling. "You are spoken for remember?" Ray didn't miss a beat.
         "Just because I've made a final purchase doesn't mean I can't window shop, Frase." He teased, though he would never dream of cheating on Frannie. He was a flirt and Francesca accepted this, simply because she knew she held his true attention and his heart. "Now you buddy, you've simply got too many catalogues in the mailbox, you gotta make the leap and subscribe eventually." Fraser blushed and actually bopped Ray on the head with one of his books, even pulling a smile from Lilia.
        "You Sir, are a cad." He decided firmly and Ray grinned undeterred.
         "Cool, I've never been one a dose before." Fraser couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips. "Pitter patter buddy, crooks to catch, heads ta kick, let's go." Fraser offered a polite farewell to both women and followed his partner out.
 

        Fraser and Ray exited the GTO, with Diefenbaker trailing behind them, and stepped up onto the porch of the Vecchio household, just as the door was opening. Francesca frowned at them in her simple off the shoulder blouse and black mini skirt.
         "Yer late." She accused. Ray grinned and handed her the single red rose he had been hiding behind his back.
         "Yer beautiful."
         "Yer forgiven!" she laughed blushing and allowed them inside.
          Ray picked up instantly on the soft music floating from the stereo in the living room and he pulled Francesca into his arms, proceeding to dance her around the hallway. Francesca giggled and stuck her rose between her teeth to accommodate him.
         Fraser watched them fondly, as Mrs.Vecchio approached from the kitchen and welcomed the Mountie affectionately, with a kiss on both cheeks, then offered Diefenbaker a quick petting as well. She smiled over at her daughter and watched as Ray pulled the rose from Francesca's mouth and kissed her tenderly, then Ma wiggled her fingers at the two beside her
         "We will leave them alone, yes?" She encouraged as they followed agreeably. The couple did not see them leave, they were caught up in each other, holding each other's gaze as they continued to dance, pressed together, in their own quiet rhythm.
         "I love you." Francesca whispered up at Ray as her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck.
         "Show me." He encouraged lowering his head to claim her mouth again. Francesca put her all into the kiss, making them both dizzy with desire. Finally they broke apart and he lifted her into his arms to swing her around in a loving embrace. She giggled with delight and wrapped her arms around his neck, adoringly.
         "We better go eat." She murmured nuzzling his ear.
         "In a minute." He agreed as he set her on her feet but continued too hold her, his eyes closed as they swayed to the remaining chords of the song.
         Francesca couldn't get over how much Ray loved to hold her, whether it was full body contact or just her hand in his, the detective had to be making contact with her as much as possible when they were together. It was almost like he was trying to convince himself that she was real, and she wondered if he had been that way with Stella.
        She supposed the other woman might have found it suffocating, but not Francesca, she felt treasured and adored by Ray's attentions. He was so romantic and sweet, even if he was a little absent-minded at times, or he got riled over little things, Francesca could always calm him down with just the gentlest of touches or a quiet look. It both thrilled and frightened her to have such power over him sometimes.
         "Are you okay, baby?" she asked gently and he nodded, but remained in her arms.
         "I...I needed this." He admitted quietly. "I...I went to see him today." Francesca pulled him closer and lay her head on his shoulder, neither of them had to put a name to the person Ray spoke of. "I thought it would get easier, but it doesn't...just makes it harder."
        "It's only been a few of months, Caro." She assured. "It will get better. I miss him too." Ray squeezed her gratefully, then released her and wiped at his eyes. "Why don't ya stay over tonight?"
        "Not tonight, Sweetness." He refused, handing her back the rose he had been holding, as they headed hand in hand toward the dining room. "Fraser and I have to do some more police work diis evenin'."
        "You always have to work." Francesca accused in the familiar argument; it was the one thing that always seemed to set her off. "I think ya like to spend more time wit Fraser then you do wit me."
        "Don't start dat nonsense, now, Frannie." He warned. "I'm not in the mood. Besides you like Fraser, remember?"
        "Not when I have to share you with him, I don't." she refused petulantly.
        "Hey, I had to share you with him, so turn about's fair play." Ray reminded and she stared at him surprised.
        "When?" she demanded in a hushed voice as they entered the dining room, where supper was just being laid on the table. "When did you ever share me wit Fraser?"
        "Duh." Ray made a face at her. "How about since I became Ray Vecchio?"
        "What!" she squeaked, completely forgetting that there were others present in the room, including the subject they now spoke of.
        "Oh, com'ahn, Sweetness." Ray sighed and shook his head at her. "You were moonin' over Fraser like he was some kinda God, ya even had me as yer cheerin' section fer awhile, pointin' out how Frase knew da weight of a pound of nails on da moon but couldn't see what was in front of his nose."
        "Dat was different!" Francesca declared enraged as Fraser blushed and stared at them in shock. "I never asked ya ta cheer fer me...ya didn't even like me den!"
        "Harrumphed." Ray snorted, tapping her nose with his finger. "I guess you couldn't see what was right in front of you either."
        "You mean...you mean you felt...ya liked me? Even back den?" Francesca gasped and Ray shrugged, as he moved over to hold out her chair for her expectantly.
        "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." he countered. "Da point is, I was supposed ta be yer brother, so it didn't make a difference, but dat don't mean I loved seein' ya mooning over my partner, Frannie." Francesca gaped at him, angry for him insinuating such a thing, but also secretly flattered and delighted that he had liked her even then. The idea that Ray Kowalski had ever been jealous of her infatuation for Fraser tickled her pink.
        "Francesca!" her mother scolded. "It is time to sit and eat. Close your mouth and join us at the table." Francesca lowered her eyes and did as she was told, settling in the chair Ray had been holding for her then watching him settled beside her with Fraser on his other side. Fraser was staring straight ahead; unable to comprehend the argument he had just witnessed. Finally he leaned toward Ray and whispered in his ear.
        "What on earth was that all about, Ray?" Kowalski grinned and took Fraser's hand on one side and Francesca's on the other as the family prepared to say grace.
        "Tell ya later, Buddy." He promised as Ma looked to Fraser to say grace. The Mountie lowered his eyes and did so appropriately.
 

        "You were arguing over what?" the Mountie declared appalled as he and Ray entered the station the following morning. They had both been on a late night stake out until almost three this morning, but surprisingly neither man was very tired. Ray grinned, as he headed for the bathroom and his partner quickly followed, lowering his voice respectively. "You must me tugging my limb Ray."
        "Um...I think ya mean pullin' yer leg, dere Benton, Buddy." Ray chuckled, as he quickly took care of what he had come in for, then moved to the sink to wash his hands. "Careful how ya phrase things, people would take dat da wrong way."
        "How so, Ray?" Fraser demanded curiously.
        "Never mind, Fraser." He sighed as he dried his hands. "I'm serious, we were arguin' over who got to spend more time wit ya."
        "Ray, that doesn't make any sense." Fraser admonished confused. "Why would you argue over something like that? Francesca doesn't wish to spend time with me, she wishes to spend time with you, I would imagine-as you are her fiancé."
        "No no." Ray refused. "Ya got it all wrong. She made da comment dat I'd rather spend my time wit you den wit her, and I simply pointed out a time when she'd rather spend her time with you den wit me."
        "Ray," Fraser caressed his eyebrow, even more agitated with this misunderstanding. "Francesca's past infatuation with me should have no bearing on the present. You and she are engaged, of course she would prefer you spend more time with her, but is she actually suggesting you are infatuated with me, since you replayed her past behavior as a similarity to the current one?" Ray stared at him for a long moment and Fraser worried that perhaps the detective was now just as confused as he was. Finally Ray shook his head.
        "I...I think I know what dat means." He remarked slowly. "Which is kinda scary when I think about it, but ummm... no. I was just tryin' ta show Frannie how dumb it is ta be jealous of you, just cause yer my partner and I do spend extra time wit you. Just like it was stupid of me ta be jealous of her when she'd be all over you like white on rice."
        "Don't you mean you were jealous of me, Ray?" Fraser amended as they headed for the kitchen. "For taking Francesca's attentions away from you?"
        "No I mean..." Ray stopped for a moment, as they moved aside to allow another detective to exit.
        "Welsh is lookin' fer you, Kowalski." The man informed. "He's interviewing some broad detective from the 2-9, guess you guys need all da help you can get."
        "Suck my..." Ray began but Fraser effectively placed a hand over his partner's mouth before the detective could finish the rude challenge.
        "Thank you kindly Detective Tucker." He offered as the other man snickered and wandered off. Ray stuck his tongue out and licked the inside of Fraser's palm, starling the Canadian into removing his hand.
        "Do not put things on my mouth ya don't want me ta taste, Fraser." He smirked, effectively embarrassing his partner as they headed into the kitchen.
        "You should really consider what you are about to say, sometimes, Ray." Fraser cautioned.
        "Why start now?" Ray chuckled. "What was I sayin' before we were so rudely interrupted...Oh yeah.  I was actually jealous of Frannie because she seemed...I dunno closer to you den I was." Ray shrugged as he poured himself a coffee then lifted the half empty pot toward Fraser in silent offering. The Mountie gave a declining nod, as he usually did, and Ray set the pot back on its warmer.  "Of course I didn't phrase it quite like dat to her, but she got da idea."
        "Why would you think she was closer to me than you were, Ray?" Fraser inquired curious, as his partner dropped about four sugars cubes into his cup, and one discretely into Diefenbaker's waiting mouth, as the wolf stood beside him. Fraser gave them both a disapproving look.
        "Well, you and Vecchio were tight, Frase." Ray supplied, ignoring the Mounties's scolding glare, as they headed back toward the squad room. "I was da new guy on da block, on top of dat you were forced ta put up wit me, a stranger, and pretend I was yer best friend."
        He sipped his coffee and shrugged as they rounded the corner near Francesca's desk, and Fraser observed his partner remove something from his jacket pocket and set it on the Italian woman's blotter, it was a beautiful hand blown glass rose. Ray leaned against the desk and continued on, as though he had not just completed such a romantic gesture.
         "Everyone knew you better dan me and I guess...well I had ta play da part of us bein' tight, ya know partners and friends, but ya hardly knew me and I know dat couldn't have been easy fer you."
        "It was much easier than you might imagine, Ray." Fraser offered affectionately. "From the moment you embraced me on our first meeting, I knew I had found...well a kindred spirit and a man I very much wanted to get to know better."
        "Ya did everything in yer power ta prove I wasn't who I claimed ta be, Fraser." Ray reminded. "Ya even measured my nose and took impressions of my teeth." Ray took another long sip of his coffee, remembering the awful taste of that putty the Mountie had tricked him into biting into. "Dat was not buddies at all." Fraser bit hard on his lower lip to keep from smiling. "But I forgave ya because I realized no one had told ya what was going on."
        "Yes," Fraser agreed fidgeting with his Stetson. "However, before I was even briefed on the situation, you proved your loyalty by stepping in front of  a bullet that was meant for me, Ray."
        "I was playin' a part." Ray defended, as he always did, when that particular situation was brought up. "Vecchio would have done it, so I had to. Besides, I was wearin' a vest and you weren't."
        "I don't believe that now, any more than I did at the time, Ray." Fraser scolded. "You proved your friendship to me before I even knew who you really were, while in fact I was still attempting to uncover whatever nefarious plot I believed you to be involved in."
        "Anyway." Ray pointed out, attempting to change the subject, which he often did when the Mountie was getting a little too close to the truth. "Regardless of that other nonsense, I was just tryin' ta explain why I coulda been jealous of Frannie or you, whichever. New subject."
        "Are you trying to say that we were not friends at the time, Ray?" Fraser challenged.
        "You know better." Ray growled under his breath, for the Mounties's ears only. "Now let me off da hook, will ya?"
        Fraser remained silent as Ray finally finished off his coffee and tossed it in a trash can close to him, then turned back toward his desk to find an Asian woman seated in his chair glancing through the files in Ray's in tray. Her long black hair spilled down over her shoulders and back like liquid silk and she wore a dark, firm fitting jeans, a simple jade blouse and a black blazer over it. Ray stalked over and slammed his hands on the desk, startling her and suddenly steal blue eyes met fierce dark ones.
        "Are you lost?" he demanded sardonically as she gave him the once over, suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed.
        "No, but why don't you go get that way?" she suggested, surprised when Ray reached across the desk and snatched the files she had been holding from her hands.
        "I believe what my partner means to say is may we offer you some assistance, Miss." Fraser defused, sensing his partner's rising temper.
        "No, I mean she'd better get her ass outta my chair and keep her paws off my paperwork, or she'll find herself with more than she bargained for." Ray rebuffed angrily.
        "Your chair?" she repeated shocked. "Then you must be...."
        "Detective Ray Kowalski." He introduced firmly. "And yer name so I can spell it right on the arrest report?" The woman's eyes narrowed even more as she rose from his chair.
        "Listen Cowboy." She warned, also leaning on the desk in a pose matching Ray's and staring him straight in the face. "This is all just a misunderstanding and if you would check your testosterone at the door we can clear this up with Lieutenant Welsh."
        "Da only think you'll be clearin' is yer prints of my desk, lady." Ray growled.
        "As if you could find anything so obvious in this mess." She countered and Fraser was worried they might soon come to blows if he didn't do something soon.
        "Ray, I think..." he began but Ray turned to glower at him and he shut up.
        "Well trained isn't he?" the woman commented and Ray's eyes blazed at her.
        "Shut yer mouth." Ray ordered. "You don't know what yer talkin' about and ya got no call ..."
        "Awww, did I hurt the Mounties's sensitive feelings?" she cooed and Fraser was actually shocked when Ray reached for the collar of the woman's shirt.
        "I'll hurt yer..." He began, but Fraser caught him and pulled him back as Lieutenant Welsh sauntered over, ignoring the threat of war between the two detectives.
        "Ah, glad to see you two have met." He commented calmly. "Detective Kowalski, meet your new partner, Detective Chang. She was just promoted and will be working with you for awhile, Kowalski." Ray's eyes narrowed.
        "I've already got a partner, Sir." He reminded and Welsh nodded.
        "And now you have two, Detective, just for awhile." Welsh decided glancing at Fraser. "No offence to your abilities, Sergeant."
        "None taken, Sir." Fraser assured, as he extended his hand to the woman in greeting. "Sergeant Major Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police."
        "I ain't a babysitter, Sir." Ray implied as he watched the two shake hands,  as Chang shot the detective a smug look.
        "Just show her the ropes, Detective." Welsh enforced. "Be a good sport, it will do you good."
        "What's the matter, Kowalski?" Chang challenged folding her arms in front of her, her dark opal eyes taunting the detective. "You have a problem working with a woman? Does my femininity offend your macho morality?"
        "What femininity?" Ray retorted, then turned away from her deliberately, so that only Fraser and Welsh saw the momentary flash of hurt projected in Chang's eyes, which was quickly replaced with anger.
        "Sergeant, why don't you take Detective Chang on a tour of the station?" Welsh suggested his eyes narrowing on Kowalski. "While I have a little chat with your partner."
        "Certainly, Leftenant." Fraser agreed readily and watched Ray follow the Lieutenant back to his office and quietly close the door. That was a bad sign, when Welsh got quiet he was fuming.
        Quite often Ray was entirely too sharp with his words, especially when he was angry or frustrated, as he obviously was now. Fraser had been on the receiving end of his partner's sharp tongue on many occasions, but he knew Ray never meant the things that came out of his mouth sometimes, and almost always ended up apologizing one way or the other, once he'd calmed down. However he wasn't sure forcing Ray to work with Detective Chang was a good idea, they obviously knew just how to antagonize each other. It was like putting gunpowder and liquid nitrogen together, there was bound to be an explosion.
        His gaze returned to the office and he watched helplessly, at his partner being read the riot act by Welsh. Ray stood quietly, his entire body rigid with barely contained hostility, his fists clenching and unclenching. Fraser had been in that position many times when Thatcher had been his superior, but he had trained himself not to react. Ray however was an emotional and often volatile volcano, and so it was more difficult for the detective to stand and take such harsh words from anyone. Yet, Fraser understood how much Ray liked and respected Lieutenant Welsh, so he knew his partner would never dare show defiance or temperament in front of his superior.
        "I really didn't mean to start out things this way." Chang offered, also sadly riveted to the scene. "Lieutenant Welsh told me to wait at Kowalski's desk and to brush up on some of his cases, I didn't think your partner would be so.... offended."
        "Detective Kowalski is usually much more receptive." Fraser admitted, also at a loss  as to why his friend had practically attacked the female detective. In fact, Ray was almost always a gentleman with any woman, except Agent Handler who just seemed to rub the blond the wrong way. It appeared that Detective Chang had the same effect. "He just does not react well to surprises."
        "Or people horning in on his territory, hmmm?" Chang countered. "I've heard a lot about you both, according to your files and the talk about town you guys are the best, that's why I wanted to work with you." She smirked. "I can see however that Kowalski's reputation is pretty much on the money though."
        "Please don't pre-judge him, Detective Chang." Fraser requested quietly. "I did that once and ended up the lesser for it. I am sure my partner just needs to get used to you, and you him."
        "Well, I guess with you around we won't be able to kill each other." She admitted grudgingly and Fraser nodded.
        "That is a start, is it not?" She smiled and nodded. "Then allow me to show you around."
 

        "You want to tell me what's going on, Detective?" Welsh inquired, as he leaned against the front of his desk, his arms folded in front of him and his ankles crossed.
        "You tell me." Ray muttered. "Why do I need another partner? I've got a partner, Fraser is my partner and I don't need some rookie messin' up our thing?"
        "Your thing?" Welsh repeated curious.
        "Yah, our thing...y'know dat partnership thing." Ray insisted. "Me an' Fraser got our own way of doin' things, we got dat way of communicatin'...knowin' what the other's thinkin' without havin' ta say anything. Some tag along is just gonna screw all dat up."
        "So you're afraid Detective Chang will cramp your style?" Welsh concurred and Ray grinned.
        "Right!" he agreed. "Exactly dat. See I knew you would..."
        "Deal with it, Kowalski." Welsh ordered. "She stays until I think she's ready for the field or her own partner."
        "But...."
        "It's a done deal, Detective." Welsh growled and Ray dropped into the leather sofa behind him.
        "Dis sucks!" he muttered angrily.
        "Now, you wanna tell me what is really bothering you?" Welsh offered quietly.
        "I already told you." Ray replied. "I ain't a babysitter."
        "There's something else, Ray." Welsh decided, moving over to settle beside the reluctant Detective. "You're explosive at times but I've never seen you so eager to pounce on someone you just met; you looked like you were ready to hit her."  Ray shrugged.
        "I don't hit women." He retorted tonelessly. "I never have and I never will, ya can take dat to the bank."
        "I'm glad to hear it." Welsh complied. "So what set you off? Her sitting at your desk, going through your files, being a woman, a beautiful woman at that? Any of these reasons you tried to tear her apart, Detective?"
        "I...I didn't mean to." Ray admitted quietly, running his hands through his already erratically formed hair. "I just...Don't make me do dis, Lieu. I'm askin' as a friend now, don't make me work wit her."
        "Give me a good reason, Ray." Welsh offered. "If you can give me a good solid reason why you and she can't work together I'll try and find her somewhere else to go."
        "I...I just can't work with her." Ray muttered.
        "Not good enough, detective." Welsh decreed. "I need a valid reason." Ray was silent, but he looked so utterly miserable that Welsh was tempted to let him off the hook anyway. "Is it because she's a woman?"
            "No...not really." Ray managed hesitantly. "Not the way you think. Women cops are cool, hell sometimes dey're better then us men, but I...I just can't work with Chang."
        "But you can't give me a reason for it?" Welsh sighed as he stood and Ray shook his head. "Can't or won't Detective?" Ray was silent. "Then I am sorry but she stays." Ray lowered his eyes, then rose deliberately to his feet and for the briefest instant Welsh was actually wary of him and gave him a wide berth, pretending to move across to his desk to sit down.
        "Can I go now, Sir." Ray asked in a tone so deathly quiet that the Lieutenant was again having second thoughts about forcing him to work with Chang, but when he nodded, Ray just walked to the door, opened it and closed it quietly and strode back to his desk.
        Welsh rose and moved to watch the Detective settle in his seat, straighten his files and place them back in his tray, then scoop at least half of the things scattered about his desk into his drawer with a curling sweep of his hand. He dusted off a corner of the desk and moved his partner's revered Stetson to that position, then he sat leisurely, his fingers steepled and his forearms resting on the desk.
        Welsh had seen Kowalski express many different attitudes, friendship, anger, frustration, cheerful, even melancholy, but this deliberately perfunctory mood was one that worried Welsh. He would have to keep a close eye on his best Detective for a little while. Welsh noticed that even Francesca knew better than to approach him at this point, for she had noticed something on her desk and had risen with a smile on her face toward her fiancé, but then thought better of it and sat back down.
 

        "Ah, Ray." Fraser greeted as he and Detective Chang returned. "I've given Detective Chang a tour of the station." Ray glanced up at his partner and smiled, but it was not one of the many smiles the Mountie looked forward to seeing. There was no playfulness, no mystery, no wickedness in this smile, just a sense of danger and that concerned the Canadian.
        "Dat's just great, Buddy." Ray commented rising from his chair, again with that slow deliberation and Chang actually caught herself taking a step backwards. "I'm sure ya didn't miss a thing."  He looked at the female Detective, his smile gone. "I apologize fer jumpin' on ya, I'm not usually like dat."
        "That's okay really I..." Chang began, grateful he was going to give her a chance, but his next words blew the air out of that assumption.
        "Let's get somethin' straight, first." He continued, as if she had not even spoken. "I'll work wit you because my Lieutenant says so, but Fraser is my partner, my only partner and you are a tag along.  You don't know us and could not possibly understand our relationship, therefore you Will. Not. Make any type of assumptions or derogatory comments about him or our partnership. If you do anything to endanger his life, yer gone. If you do anything to screw up our investigations, yer gone, if you so much as get in our way at any given time yer gone, you get me?"
        "Fine, Kowalski." Chang agreed her own temper flaring. "Just you remember this, I am working here too and I won't be kept in the dark just because you feel your precious toes are being stepped on. I'm just as good a detective as you are, so just stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours."
        "Trust me, I don't want to be anywhere near you." Ray retorted as Francesca walked up to them, wary of the tension emanating from the two Detectives.
        "Ummm, here's the report you asked for, Ray." She offered, "And if you have a moment could I talk to ya?"
        Ray broke the staring contest with Chang to look at the tiny woman now standing beside Fraser, then he nodded and followed her back to her desk. Chang was amazed at the transformation that came over the other detective, his entire expression softened and he smiled gently as he accepted the file from her and glanced through it. She said something and Chang couldn't quite make out, then stood almost on tip toe to kiss the detective on the cheek, causing him to smile again, before returning to his own desk.
        "Here." He tossed Chang the file and moved to grab his gray sports jacket from the back of the chair. "Dat's da case we're workin' on now, so stay da hell outta the ones on my desk." Chang had the childish notion to stick her tongue out at him, but resisted as he handed Fraser his Stetson. "Looks like you were right, Buddy. Handley Automotive hired our guy just a couple of weeks ago."
        "Wonderful, Ray." Fraser returned pleased that they now had something to redirect the detective's attentions to.
 

        "Ray?" Francesca inquired softly as she stepped out of the house and closed the door quietly behind her.
        The detective glanced back at her from his position on the porch, leaning with one foot propped up against the rail. Ma and Maria were busy clearing away the supper dishes, while Tony had coerced Fraser into watching a sports program with him. Ray had wandered out here shortly after dinner, without a word to anyone.
         "Go back inside, Frannie." He requested quietly, then turned to look back out at the darkening sky.
        It looked like they were in for another storm, which was about par for Chicago in May, but she sensed there was a bigger storm brewing inside the man next to her. She ignored his request and moved to stand beside him, wishing he would talk to her.
         Somewhere in the last couple months they had lost the ability to talk, Ray seemed to be reverting to his old ways of keeping things inside. They were doing really well the first month and a half after they lost the baby, she and Ray talked about a lot of different things and it seemed he kept nothing from her. Francesca had treasured that time, she'd never had anyone that just wanted to talk with her and not at her.
        Despite the cracks and corrections Ray still made about her phrasing at times, she knew he wasn't doing it to make her feel stupid, anymore than Fraser was trying to make Ray feel the idiot when he helpfully supplied a word Ray was searching for but couldn't quite get it out of his mouth. It was just an automatic response from them both.
         Now, although Ray tried to keep her entertained by his teasing. or sweeping her in his arms for a dance to the music he always seemed to have going in his head, he had crawled back inside himself and Francesca struggled to find the reason. She was half tempted to call up Stella and ask what she did when Ray did this to her, but then she realized she already knew what Stella Kowalski did; she broke Ray's heart and divorced him. Well, Francesca wasn't married to Ray,  not yet at least, so she couldn't divorce him, nor did she want to give up on him. She placed a hand on his arm and tried to smile up at him.
         "Talk to me." She pleaded as Ray looked down at her again. He smiled, but she knew it was not genuine, as he tossed an arm over her shoulders and pulled her closer.
         "Sure, baby." He replied dropping a kiss on her forehead. "What'cha wanna talk about?"
         "Us." she replied quietly and felt him stiffen, then relax, she was becoming attuned to his every move, every gesture and word that told her a little more about him.
         "Well, dere's you and me and dat makes an us." he teased, then frowned when she didn't even crack a smile. "Okay, what did I do now?"
         "What's bothering you?" she demanded and felt him move away to shove his hands in his pockets.
         "Why do women always think somethin's gotta be botherin' a man just cause he's quiet?" he sighed as he leaned up against the porch rail, his eyes lowered. "Can't I just be thinkin'?"
         "Sure." Francesca acknowledged moving closer and wrapping her arms around his waist to snuggle against him.  "Just so long as you let us in on what yer thinkin'." Ray pulled back just enough to catch her chin and pull her face up to meet his gaze.
         "I'm thinkin' yer beautiful." He whispered, moving his lips across hers in a soft, teasing kiss. "I'm thinkin' I'm one lucky SOB to have you in my corner and I'm thinkin' I don't wanna screw all dis up."
         "You won't." Francesca promised placing gentle butterfly kisses across his cheeks. "I won't let you screw this up." She finally settled her lips to his and released a sigh of pleasure, as Ray claimed them in a sweet and passionate kiss.
         "Oh fer heaven's sake, get a room!" Maria teased as she opened the door and smiled at them, watching as Ray blushed and pulled away from Francesca, who was glaring at her sister mutinously.
         "We can use mine." She decided defiantly tugging Ray toward the door, but Ray hung back as Fraser appeared.
         "Not tonight, Sweetness." He whispered softly. "Gotta stake out a place down town. Frase, grab my jacket will ya please?" The Mountie went to do as requested, while Francesca pouted and snuggled against Ray again, not wanting to let him go.
         "You always gotta go to work." She sighed. "Yer workin' to hard Caro."
         "No such thing, wit Fraser around, baby." He assured giving her a final kiss, before gently pulling away from her and accepting his jacket from Fraser, who had stepped back out on the porch, Stetson in hand.
        "I'm coming too!" Francesca insisted running for her jacket as well.
         "No." Ray refused. "Dis is police work, Frannie."
         "I work at the station too!" she declared, ready for the debate. "I got you the information!"
         "She did find out the contact..." Fraser began but quickly shut up with the look Ray tossed him, and changed tactics. "However it could be dangerous Francesca."
         "I am going!" she defied her hands on her hips. "Why can't I go? I can help. I've helped before and...."
         "You guess what I'm thinkin' right now and you can go." Ray offered grinning.
         "Yer thinkin' dere's no way in hell yer gonna let me go with you, Ray Kowalski." She challenged. "Yer thinkin' I'm gonna get hurt or be in the way, am I right?" Ray leaned down and kissed her cheek.
         "Exactly right, Y'see, yer argument's even better den mine." He returned and she glared at him as she realized she'd been caught. "We'll be back soon."
         "I hate you!" she called as Fraser pulled the seat forward for Diefenbaker to climb in.
         "I know." Ray returned calmly, opening the driver's side door as the pretty Italian hurried around to him. "But you'll get over it." Fraser offered he a sympathetic glance.
         "I am sorry France ..." his words died in his throat, as Francesca glared at him and turned away. Ray grinned and gave her a fierce hug.
         "Don't be mean ta Fraser, just because I can't stay." He admonished dropping a teasing kiss on her lips. "Fergive me?" she shook her head stubbornly and he kissed her again, more intimately this time. "Fergive me?" Again she shook her head, more hesitantly this time. Once more he kissed her and she melted against him. "Love me?" She nodded. "Fergive me?" She nodded and he smiled.
         "Jerk." She sighed defeated. He smiled and gave her an extra kiss for that and a quick squeeze.
         "Yer beautiful when yer pissed off at me, Sweetness." He stated, as he slid behind the wheel, and Francesca moved back toward the house, out of the way.
         "Get used to it, Kowalski!" she warned. "Keep dis up and I'll be damn well dazzling!" Maria laughed and Fraser hid a smile as he slid inside next to his partner. Ray blew her a kiss and started the engine.
         "He's so sweet." Maria commented as she stepped up next to Francesca and waved at the departing car.
         "He's a jerk." Francesca muttered.
         "He's a sweet jerk." Maria amended and Francesca sighed and nodded. She didn't like getting angry with Ray, but then the detective knew she had a vicious temper and seemed to just accept it. He definitely had a way of defusing her though, better than anyone else ever could have. She missed him already. Maria put her arm around her and together they walked back inside.
 

         "So?" Detective Chang commented from her position in the back seat of the GTO, as they sat outside a darkened automotive garage, the wolf beside her was snoring quietly.  "What do we do now?" She knew the procedure of course; she was just trying to get a rise out of Kowalski, who hadn't so much as spoken to her since they picked her up at the station earlier in the evening. She found herself missing the sound of his voice, regardless or what might be coming out of his mouth.
         "We wait for the perpetrators to show." Fraser returned, when Ray continued to stare out the windshield of the car and sip his coffee in silence. Chang sighed then turned to the Mountie, whose face was shadowed by the darkened interior.
         "Is he always this quiet during surveillance?" she inquired.
         "No, he is usually quite talkative." Fraser admitted, also trying to pull the detective into the conversation, but Ray acted as though he had never even heard them.
        Fraser exchanged an exasperated glance with Chang, for they had spoken for a little while earlier, during the tour of the station, and she truly did seem to be trying to make this forced arrangement work. The Mountie seemed more relaxed with her, then he often was around other women, and the observation did not pass Ray by. He could sense the chemistry between his best friend and their new tag along, but he was trying not to tease Fraser about it. He would prefer the Canadian not like Chang, it made his own behavior toward her a little easier to accept.
         "Maybe he's not actually here." Chang countered to Fraser. "Like in the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers, maybe someone sucked the real Kowalski up into a space ship and this is only his body double."
         "An intriguing theory." Fraser agreed. "Of course Detective Kowalski is much better versed on American cinema then I am, aren't you Ray?"
         "Fraser, look over dere by the east side of the building and tell me if ya see anything-yer eyes are better den mine." Ray requested quietly, his eyes never moving from their designated spot. Fraser leaned closer to Ray and peered across to the corner of the garage. After a few minutes he shook his head.
         "I cannot see anything out of the ordinary, Ray." He denied regretfully.
         "Well maybe ya would if ya'd both stop gabbin' an' do yer job!" the detective snapped sharply and Fraser settled back against his seat, chagrined. A deafening silence filled the car and after a few minutes of it Ray finally spoke again. "Sorry Frase. I just wanna get dis guy." Fraser nodded.
         "Understood." He allowed kindly, as Ray glanced at his watch, it was nearing four O'clock and the sun would be up soon. His eyes lifted to the rearview mirror to meet Detective Chang's and she was surprised to find an apology in them for her as well. She nodded in acceptance then quickly looked away, suddenly uncomfortable with the break through.
         "Doesn't look like our perp's gonna show today." Ray acknowledged.
         "I concur, perhaps tomorrow night, Ray." Fraser offered and the detective nodded and started the car.
         "Let's get da hell outta here, den."
 

         After dropping Chang back at the station  to pick up her car, Ray drove back to his place. He had convinced the Mountie to get an apartment in his building, so they could hang out after work or if they were working all night on a case Ray didn't have to drive across town to drop Fraser off before returning home. It had taken a lot of persuasion, for the Mountie felt even the smallest bachelor pad in the building was too excessive for him, but Ray convinced him and together they had set it up.
         Receiving higher pay now, due to his rank, he had also been awarded back pay for the deductions the RCMP had taken the last time he was in Chicago, because of their belief in him as a traitor. Ray had been livid at the way they had treated his partner, but Fraser took it all in stride, as was his custom.
        Ray managed to talk the landlady, who had a special affection for the detective, to rent Fraser the apartment three doors down from his own, even giving a special provision for Diefenbaker; since it was supposed to be only small pets allowed in the building, like Ray's turtle. It looked out on the park, which the Mountie appreciated and was outlined the same as Ray's. The landlady gave them permission to fix it up however they wanted, as long as they did it quietly.
         With Fraser's skill at art at Ray's remarkable eye for color and paint, they created a private little paradise for the Canadian along the walls of the two rooms.  In the living area, the walls were a soft powder white, and the two took advantage of this by painting murals of forests and wild life. It made the apartment itself look huge, because it gave it an airy, wide-open look.
        The kitchen cupboards were the color of winter pine and the counter tops were a green marble, a color scheme from the previous tenants, and Fraser had fallen in love with them. Fraser's small dining area held a mural of the Canadian and American flags, hanging from opposite poles, with a blue sea between them and a small foot bridge linking the poles over the water. That had been Ray's idea, representing their friendship across two countries and the partnership that held no boundaries.
        His bedroom had been a surprise from Ray, actually completed before the detective had even showed his partner the apartment;  and it had been what had won Fraser over. Ray had painted the lower parts of the walls white and the upper half the color of a midnight sky. A relatively simple color scheme, except the detective had painted the ceiling a dark blue as well and pasted small reflected silver stars all over it, so that when Fraser lay back in his bed, it was like he was falling asleep under an open sky. Ray had remembered how peaceful it had been to lay under the stars, when he had been in Canada, and he wanted to make the apartment as homey as possible for his friend.
        Fraser had been deeply touched by all the trouble Ray had gone to for him and had enlisted the detective's help to pick out simple but tasteful furniture. The dining table was round pine, with four matching high back chairs that held embroidered forest cushions. His living area consisted of a soft brown leather sofa and matching easy chair. Pine wood coffee and end tables with green lacquer tops accented the setting.
        For his bedroom, Ray had insisted the Mountie buy at least a queen size bed, if for no other reason then to give poor Diefenbaker some room to sleep as well. Fraser had relented, buying a matching headboard and night tables that they picked up at a garage sale and refinished, then added two reading lamps on either side.  His footlocker took up the floor at the foot of the bed and a small corner bureau was in one corner.
        Fraser had installed a telephone in the kitchen, again at Ray's insistence, but did not purchase a television, since most of the time he ever watched anything it was with Ray at his apartment. He did however accept the small boom box, with CD and tape player that Ray had bought him for a house warming, gift, complete with a set of classical CD's that Fraser could add more to at his leisure.
        "Are you tired, Ray?" Fraser inquired as they walked up the steps toward their floor.
        "Exhausted, buddy." Ray admitted stifling another yawn and slapping his partner affectionately on the back. "I'll see ya in da mornin'."
        "It is morning, Ray." Fraser reminded as he opened the door of his apartment, never one to bother locking it, despite Ray's arguments that he should.  There was nothing of any real value in the Mounties's apartment and he knew if someone wanted to break in badly enough, no lock would stop them.
        "Um...yah, 'kay." Ray grinned tiredly as he headed down the hall to his own place, while Dief trotted inside Fraser's apartment. "See ya...in a couple of hours den."
        "Try to get some sleep, Ray." Fraser suggested and Ray nodded and turned away as the Mountie went inside behind the wolf. Ray was so tired he could barely hold the key to get it into his lock, but finally he managed to push it in and turn it so the door would open.
        "Hiya, honey." Francesca Vecchio greeted from the darkened living area, as she rose from the sofa and Ray's hand went to his gun startled.  Sometimes he regretted ever giving her a key to his apartment. He shook his head, knowing that warning her from scaring him like that would not sink in, any more than the hundred other times he had told her, so he tried to calm his pounding heart by taking a few slow deep breaths as he locked the door behind him.
        "Baby, I'm really bushed." He informed as he slid off his jacket and shoulder holster, then dropped them over a chair as he walked over to her. Francesca crept up behind him, while his back was to her, and put her arms around him.
        "I'll bet I could help ya sleep." She offered.
        "Won't need any help." Ray assured as he moved away, turned and dropped onto the sofa. "I'm already asleep, just my body don't know it so it keeps movin'." Francesca smiled and settled on his lap, caressing the hair at the nape of his neck and nuzzling his neck.
        "I just wanna be with you, Ray." She sighed as his arms went around her in a comfortable embrace. "I don't care if we do anything, I just wanna sleep in yer arms tonight." Ray released a long breath, then offered her a small smile, before rising with her in his arms.
        "Dat's good, cause I ain't up to much else." He teased as he carried her to his bedroom. She giggled when he tossed her on the bed and she bounced a few times, before she rose to help him shed his clothing. Soon they were both under the covers, curled up together with Frannie's back pressed spoon fashion against Ray's chest and his arms around her his favorite way to sleep.
        "Ray?" she asked quietly.
        "Hmmm?"
        "Did you...were you often...um...did you work dis hard...I mean..."
        "Spit it out before I fall asleep, Frannie." He requested tiredly and Francesca bit her lip. Well, she'd already started so she may as well finish it.
        "Were you always too tired ta make love when ya were married to Stella?" she blurted, then immediately regretted it when she felt his breath catch and his body tense against her. For a long moment he didn't respond, and she thought maybe he had just decided not to answer her and had fallen asleep, but finally his voice sounded next to her.
        "Stella was da one who was too tired, Frannie." He admitted bitterly. "She was too tired ta make love, too tired ta cook, too tired ta start a family and way too tired ta be bothered wit da likes a me wantin' ta love her." Francesca cursed herself for even bringing up the woman's name, even as Ray rolled her onto her back to peer down at her in the semi darkness of the room.
        "I'm sorry." She whispered, but he shook his head and lowered his lips to hers for a brief moment, too brief for Francesca's liking.
        "Don't be." He refused softly. "I...I guess ya don't think about it 'till the shoe's on da other foot." His fingers caressed her cheek as he continued. "I don't mean to seem tired all da time, sweetness and I know I been workin' long hours, but I'm a cop and...well it can be dat way sometimes." She nodded, she understood all about irregular hours, her brother was a cop as well and sometimes he didn't come home nights because of a case he had been working on.
        "I just miss you." She sighed; reaching up to run her fingers through his hair then looping her arms around his neck. "I know you have to work and I don't really mind because I know yer doin' so much good fer other people, helpin' keep us safer, but I can't help wishin' we could spend more time together."
        "Tell you what." He promised. "After we're done wit dis case we're workin' on, I'll ask Welsh fer some time off, I got at least a few weeks vacation comin' I could maybe take some a dat and we could go away somewhere, just da two of us. Would dat be okay?" The glowing expression on Francesca Vecchio's face pretty much summed up what she thought of that idea.
        "I'd love that Ray." She admitted smiling. "I love you." Ray smiled and lowered his lips to hers again.
        "I love you, Frannie." He whispered as he kissed her. "Never doubt dat."
        "Are you sure yer too tired?" she asked wistfully as she reached down to grasp his growing arousal through his briefs. "I'll do all the work." Ray moaned in defeat and pressed against her hand.
        "I should really get some sleep." He muttered, even as he kissed her cheeks, her neck and trailed a path down over her collarbone, making her shiver in delight. "Yer not helpin' da situation, here, Frannie." She smiled and caressed him again, causing him to gasp and reach down to stop her hand.
        "Please?" she whispered.
        "I can't Frannie." He denied regretfully. "Da body's willin' but da spirit's unconcious."
        Francesca giggled and relented. She turned back away so they could lay in their previous positions, catching Ray's arm that he tossed over her, linking their fingers, and pulling their hands up toward her cheek. Besides, she thought to herself, there was always later today when he woke up. She contented herself with that and drifted off to sleep.
 

        However, when Francesca awoke later that afternoon, she found herself alone in the bed and felt imedieatly bereft. She heard low voices speaking outside the room and recognized at least one of them to be Fraser's. She groaned and punched her pillow; Ray hadn't been kidding when he commented that the Mounties's timing sucked. She glanced at the clock radio and saw that it was only a little after ten, so she wondered how long Ray had been up. With a decided sigh, she started to sit up and was about to toss aside the covers, when there was a knock on her door and Ray entered carrying a tray with coffee, juice, scrambled eggs, bacon and toast.
        "Mornin' sweetness." He greeted grinning ,as he settled the tray across her lap, while she attempted to make herself  more presentable before him.
        "How long have you been up?" she accused as she glanced down at her breakfast impressed. Ray was already dressed in his usual jeans and blue T-shirt, his shoulder holster secured about him, so she knew he was headed back to work. Ray glanced at his watch.
        "Since eight." He returned as he leaned in to kiss her good morning.
        Damn, he smelled more delicious then the meal before her and Francesca was hard pressed not to toss the tray aside and pull the detective into her arms to ravage him thoroughly. It was truly amazing, how attracted to Ray she was. She had been infatuated with Fraser, there was no doubt, and had spent long hours fantasizing about him, but with Ray there was no comparison for her. He was all she could want.
          "You have ta go already?" she demanded disappointed and he nodded.
.         "Fraser and me got go check out some things real quick." He informed. Francesca caught him by the collar and pulled him back down for a breath taking kiss. When she made no signs of releasing him, he started to pull away and her arms coiled around his neck, pulling him almost on top of her.
        "Mmmhh!" he exclaimed, reaching up and carefully prying her from around him. "I gotta go, baby." She shook her head and tried to pull him down for another kiss and he chuckled. "Do. Not. make me go out dere wit a hard on, Frannie, Fraser notices everything." She giggled and released him reluctantly, noticing that it was already too late to save appearances, as her eyes lowered to the bulge in his jeans. He smiled at her pouting face.
        "I gotta go to work." he enforced. "But I'll come by yer house and pick ya up fer dinner around six, okay?"
        "Just the two of us?" she stressed, hopefully and he leaned in again to kiss her soundly, before rising from the bed.
        "Just you and me." He promised and her smile brightened the room. "Now eat yer breakfast, and lock da door when ya leave okay?" She nodded and watched him leave, then she carefully moved the tray aside, grabbed up her robe and secured it around her, then hurried into the outer room where the men were just opening the front door to leave. She threw herself into Ray's arms and kissed him once more for good measure, before shyly releasing him.
        "Good afternoon, Francesca." Fraser offered kindly, he was in his red serge today because he had some business to attend to at the Consulate before he and Ray could continue with the work on their case. Ray was going to pick up Chang and together they would do some investigation on their own, until the Mountie could join them.
        "Mornin' Frase." She greeted as she offered the detective a smoldering look. Ray chuckled and shook his head, deliberately turning her away from him.
        "Put dose eyes away, dey're dangerous." He teased as he kissed her cheek from behind then headed out. Francesca giggled and ran to the window to wait until she saw them walk out into the parking lot and climb into the GTO, then she hurried back to the bedroom to eat her now cold breakfast.
 

        Ray did not show to pick Francesca up for dinner and she had been livid, until at eight thirty she still had not heard from either Ray or Fraser, then she grew concerned. Ray was always very good about calling her if he was running an hour late, or Fraser would call on Ray's behalf, because the detective couldn't get away. He knew that she worried about him. Spending half her time looking through the living room curtains and the other half leaving messages on Ray's answering machine, she was a mess by ten O'clock. She had tried his cell phone numerous times and had received no answer, so either he didn't have it with him or the ringer had been turned off, because of the situation they might be in. Finally on her eighteenth try a woman answered.
        "Hello?"
        "H...hello?" Francesca returned confused. "I...I must have dialed the wrong number is this 555-4141?"
        "Yes it is." The woman announced. "Did you need to speak to someone?"
        "I...who is this?" Francesca demanded her heart in her throat. Was Ray seeing another woman? Was that why they hadn't made love in so long, because he had found someone else. She heard her fiancé's voice in the back ground, telling the woman to tell whoever it was that he didn't want any.
        "Who's calling please?" the woman asked, amusement in her voice.
        "I...no...no one." Francesca muttered and quickly hung up.
        She dashed the sudden tears in her eyes away with an angry swipe of her hand and turned toward the stairs. She was half way to her room when the telephone rang in the hallway. She was tempted to just let it ring, she didn't want to talk to anyone and if it was Ray trying to explain...well she didn't want to talk to him either. However, her curiosity got the better of her and she snatched it up on the fourth ring.
        "Vecchio residence." She stated quietly.
        "Francesca?" Fraser's deep voice came across the line. "Thank God, I've been trying to reach you for over an hour, but your lines were busy." Francesca bit her lip; he must have been trying to call her while she had been trying to call Ray.
        "Well, what did you want, Fraser?" she demanded harsher then she had meant to be and there was a distinct pause on the line before Fraser spoke again.
        "I don't wish to alarm you, Francesca, but there has been an accident and Ray and I are at the hospital." Immediately all doubts left her.
        "Which one?" she demanded.
        "It's too late to come by now, Francesca." He told her. "Ray and I are fine, although at the moment he is not quite himself. I will be taking him home as soon as they release him and Detective Chang so there is no point in you..."
        "I'll meet you there then." She decided and hung up before Fraser could reply. She ran to her room, grabbed a small over night bag and threw some things into it. Everyone else had already gone to bed, so she left a note saying where she was headed, grabbed her jacket and car keys and hurried out.
 

        It seemed to take forever for her to hear the key turn in the lock of Ray's apartment door and she hurried over to throw it open, as Fraser supported his shaky partners inside.
        "Hiya Frannie!" Ray greeted enthusiastically, as they settled him and Detective Chang on the sofa. Francesca could see no apparent injuries, as Ray caught her hands and tried to play patty cake with her. "Patty cake, patty cake, Frannie, yer so pretty." She smiled as he leaned against her. "You wanna be my girl Frannie? Wanna go steady wit me?" She nodded, even as she looked toward Fraser for an explanation.
        "We were in pursuit of our suspects when one of them shot Ray with some kind of dart gun and injected him with a form of amphetamine. They missed me, but were accurate in their aim for Detective Chang. Luckily, the drugs didn't start to take effect fully, until we had managed to apprehend the subjects."
    "You mean they're high?" Franceseca demanded appalled and Fraser nodded reluctantly.
    "The doctors ascertained that the drug wasn't enough to cause serious damage, but it would just have to run its course." Fraser replied. " The nurse at the hospital informed me she had heard Ray's phone ringing in his jacket and when she answered she said the woman did not leave her name, but I assumed it was you."
        "Yah I...I didn't...I thought it was a wrong number." She defended quietly and Fraser accepted her explanation without question
        "Ah...yes, well, I tried to call you again, to see if your line was open and I am glad to say it was." He returned. "Ray of course refused to stay at the hospital, and not to be out done Detective Chang refused because he did. I told them I would look after them and you know how Ray is about hospitals. The physicians agreed as long as they were not left alone until the drugs had been depleted from their systems."
    "Were you hurt?" Francesca asked, as Ray started singing You Are My Sunshine and Chang continued to stare adoringly at Fraser.
        "I was uninjured." He assured her, avoiding Chang's lustful gaze. She had pinched him twice at the hospital, and had made every opportunity to paw him, but she seemed to have calmed down since the ride home, containing herself to just looking.
        "Fraser's Super Mountie!" Ray exclaimed in delight, jumping up and running around the room like a kid with a toy airplane. "Faster dan a movin' car, more powerful den a sinkin' ship. Able to taste electrical sockets in a single lick! Da dan da, da dan da da!" Chang started giggling and Fraser and Francesca couldn't keep from smiling at the situation.
        "Wish I had a video camera." She murmured slyly. "So what do ya wanna do wit deese two?" Fraser rubbed his thumb across his brow in thought.
        "Ah...yes, well," he stammered. "I am sure Ray will not feel entirely....er...jovial tomorrow when he wakes up and the drugs have worn off. He is not overly fond of Detective Chang's presence on a daily basis, I sincerely doubt he would be happy having her in his apartment when he awoke."
        "So you wanna take her back to yer apartment and I'll tend ta Ray?" Francesca suggested and saw the trepidation flash over the Mounties's face before his usual calm mask slipped back into place.
        "Er....well...to be honest, I would prefer not to be alone with her." He admitted and Francesca grinned, as she moved across the room and pulled the TV remote from Ray's fingers, after he had snatched it up and started flipping channels at the speed of sound. She switched it off and ignored his pouting face.
        "Feeling a little frisky is she?" Francesca grinned as Ray grabbed up one of the sofa pillows and smacked Chang with it. She reciprocated in kind and Fraser and Francesca were hard pressed to relieve them of their weapons. Their reflexes were quite good considering the state they both were in. They managed to settle both detectives's in opposite corners of the couch.
    "She has been affected by the drug in a....ah...romantic capacity, yes." Fraser agreed reluctantly. "Perhaps you could watch her at my apartment and I could take care of Ray?" Suddenly Chang tipped forward and was lying almost on top of Ray, unconscious. His hands went up in the air immediately as he stared at them in horror.
        "I didn't touch her!" he vowed frantically.
        "I don't think you'll have any trouble with her, Benton." Francesca giggled as they pulled the woman off the disgruntled detective a settled her back against the cushions. "Help me get Ray ta bed, then I'll help you with her." Fraser agreed relieved.
        "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He returned and moved to help support his partner as they hauled Ray to his feet and headed for the bedroom.
        "I'm sure he will feel better after he gets some sleep." Fraser decided.
        "Sleep!" Ray protested. "I don't need no stinkin' sleep!" He broke away from them and pulled Francesca into his arms to spin her clumsily around the room. "I wanna dance all night, I coulda danced all night..." he sang as Francesca managed to pull away, but then Ray just grabbed hold of Fraser. "I'll dance wit you den."
        "Ray." Fraser reminded trying not to think how embarrassed the detective would be if he remembered that he was holding a grown man in his arms and trying to dip him. Fraser righted them both, somehow, and turned Ray toward the bedroom. "Let's go dance in there, Ray, it's much more comfortable."
    "Okay." Ray agreed readily and ran inside to throw himself on the bed in apparent glee. He sat up, frowning as Fraser and Francesca moved to take his boots off. "Watcha doin'?"
        "We're getting you undressed so we can get you in bed, Ray." Fraser returned calmly, as they managed to pull his T-shirt over his head; the Mountie had long since relieved him of his weapon and shoulder holster.
        "Benton, Buddy!" Ray tsked, trying to look serious but having little success. "I luv ya buddy, I do, yer da best partner and da best friend, but ya know I just can't cheat on Frannie dat way." Fraser straightened and blushed as Francesca laughed openly.
        "Ray I didn't mean..." he began flustered, but Ray was already reaching out and pulling the Mountie back toward him. He grabbed Fraser's flushed face between his hands and kissed him straight on the mouth, pressing their lips together only briefly, but it was enough to fluster the Canadian immensely.
        "Best I can do fer ya buddy." Ray offered as Fraser turned the color of his tunic. "Cute as ya are, yer just not my type."
        "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser retorted starting to regain some of his composure as Francesca managed to pull of Ray's jeans and cover him with the blankets. "I do appreciate the effort, but unfortunately you are not my type either."
        "Well, if yer gonna be picky, Frase." Ray sighed as Francesca attempted to control her laughter.
        "Let's go get da other one." She chuckled, but Ray had already started to get out of the bed and come after them. Francesca settled him back in.
        "Don't go." He pouted to her. "I wanna go wit ya."
        "I'll be right back, Ray." She promised, but he wouldn't let go of her hands. She sighed and turned to look at the Mountie behind her, he also looked exhausted.
        "Think ya can handle Chang on yer own, Frase" she inquired reluctantly. He nodded.
        " I am sure she will sleep straight through now." He returned. "Are you sure you wish to try taking care of him alone, Francesca?" Fraser was right to be concerned, for there was no way of telling what Ray might do from one minute to the next with drugs in his system.
        "Sure, da most he might try ta do is ravage me." She returned slyly and winked at him. "Dat I'd probably enjoy." Fraser blushed again and shook his head.
        "My number is on his speed dial, the first one." He informed as he moved back toward the living room.  "Just call if you need me."
        "I'm just gonna walk Fraser out and I'll be right back." Francesca promised and Ray released her, though she knew if she was gone more than a few minutes he would probably come after her again, so she hurried to open the door as Fraser picked up the unconscious Detective.
        "Same to you." she told him as she reached up to drop his Stetson on his head, which Ray had knocked off accidentally when they entered the apartment. "Call if ya need me.
        "I will."  He assured, as she reached up to kiss his cheek.
        "Thanks fer takin' care of him. I'm glad you weren't hurt either."
        "Thank you kindly, Francesca." Fraser returned softly then went out. "Good night."
         "Nite, Frase." She called, then waited until she saw him enter his apartment before she closed and locked the door.
        She switched off the lights and returned to the bedroom where Ray immediately brightened, as she removed her clothing and crawled in beside him.
        "Hi." He greeted rolling over on his side to face her. "How'ya doin'? Where ya been? Whatc'cha been up to?"
        "I'm good." She smiled, reaching out to caress his warm, flushed cheek. "Yer higher den a kite, aren't ya?" He smiled at her and reached to pull her closer into the contour of his arms.
        "I'm feelin' pretty good." He admitted. "But you feel better."
        "You'll feel worse in da morning." She promised with a sympathetic smile as she brushed a tendril of hair away from his forehead, then mused aloud. "I wonder if I ask you stuff now would ya be obliged ta tell me what ya wouldn't when yer sober."
        "I'm not drunk, Frannie." He replied almost seriously. " I know I'm feelin' dis way cause a what dat guy shot me wit, but ya can ask me anything, I'll never lie to ya."
        "Ya love me?"
        "Always." He promised with a contented smile, as he played with the strap of her lacy black bra.
        "More den ya loved Stella?"
        "Different den Stella." He returned without hesitation, as his fingers started to slip the strap from her shoulder mischievously.
         Francesca was surprised by his response, since usually when she brought up her new sister in law, Ray became bitter and withdrawn, and maybe these drugs weren't such a bad thing. She shook her head, how could she think that? She loved Ray the way he was, not pumped up like he was now. It certainly wasn't his fault, but there was no reason, Francesca couldn't finally get a few of her questions answered while he was in such a talkative mood.
        "Do ya miss her?" she continued, watching him nibble her now bare shoulder as his fingers moved to the opposite strap.
        "Yes." Ray returned. "But not as much as I miss ya when yer not here." Francesca was happy for that at least. Finally she voiced the one true fear that had been plaguing her all this time
        "W...would ya go back to Stella if she asked ya?" Ray again did not hesitate before he answered and Francesca wondered if half his trouble when he was in his normal state wasn't because he was afraid to say how he felt. The drugs seemed to give him no fear of repercussions.
        "Dunno." he replied as his lips moved lower and she bit her lip in anticipation. "She's married now ya know, her husband might not like dat."
        "Would you...do you still want Stella."
        "Sometimes." He admitted as he gently pushed her onto her back and hovered over her, eyeing her with an appreciative gaze. Francesca couldn't help the soft cry of passion that tore from her as his mouth lowered to suckle her left breast, while his hand paid continued attention to the other one.
        "Is...am I just a stand in because ya can't have her den?" Francesca gasped, as she shimmied down under the covers so she was directly under him now and could feel his lower body against hers.
        "No, yer da woman I'm in love wit."" He returned as his fingers moved down across her bare midrift then slid inside her panties. Her hips rose to meet the intimate invasion as his mouth moved higher to claim hers.
        She moaned against him, willing to give in to their mutual need, despite the fact that he was not completely concious of what he was doing, but suddenly his passion took a darker turn and she was gasping for breath because he would not release her mouth. She tried to push at him, warn him he was going too fast, but his fingers picked up on his sudden animalistic rythem and she was soon writhing beneath him shamelessly. She found herself reaching for him, she wanted him inside her, now, but the position he lay and the pace he had set denied her.
        "Wait!" she cried when he finally released her swollen lips. "Ray, please! Yer goin' too fast I..."
        "Don't ya like it, baby?" he growled and for a moment she was actually frightened of him and cursed herself for not listening to Fraser. There was no way of knowing how someone would react on drugs and she had laughed off Ray's condition in arrogance. Suddenly, he started to slow, almost to a stop and she found herself protesting as his body grew heavier against her.
        "Ray?" she whispered, her entire body throbing with  a combination of fear and the need simultaneously, as he started to pull away.
        "So beautiful, sweetness. " He murmured sleepily as his eyes started to close. "Take my breath away." Francesca sensed her time was running out to find out her answers.
        "Why don't ya ever want to make love to me anymore, Ray?" she sighed frustrated that they had come so close, despite the way it had been going..
        "Do...do wanna." He assured. "Afraid, Frannie." She frowned.
        "Afraid of what, baby?" she soothed as she cuddled closer.
        "Yah, 'fraid of baby." He agreed, his speech starting to slur as the adrenaline finally wore down.
        "What does dat mean?" she cried, shaking him to try and wake him up so he could answer her, but he was already snoring softly. "Ray! What does dat mean?"
        She almost started to cry in frustration but contained herself. He was afraid to make love to her, but why? He called her baby sometimes, as she did him, was he afraid of her or himself? What did he refer to? Another child? Maybe he was afraid of having her get pregnant because of what happened last time, no...Ray wanted kids, they both did. Damn this was going to keep her up the rest of the night!
 

        Fraser settled Detective Chang in his bed, preferring to leave her clothes on, rather then to risk waking her by removing them. She woke up; however, just as he was pulling the covers over her and she reached to catch his arm, preventing him from leaving.
        "Stay." She whispered and Fraser sat on the bed next to her.
        "Try to sleep, Detective." He suggested. "You will feel better."
        "Tara." She sighed.
        "Pardon?"
        "My name is Tara." She explained as she shyly linked her fingers through his. "Yours is Benton, right?"
        "That is correct." Fraser returned, allowing the contact for the time being, since she was still quite drowsy and perhaps not aware of what she was doing.
        "Say my name." She pleaded.
        "Tara." He complied kindly and was rewarded with a rare and wonderful smile from her.
        "It sounds so pretty when you say it." She murmured.
        "It is a pretty name." He allowed politely.
        "Benton is nice too." She returned and he smiled shyly.
        "Thank you, kindly."
        "Do you like me, Benton?" she asked.
        "Certainly."
        "Kowalski doesn't."
        "Detective Kowalski sometimes just has a hard time adjusting to new people." Fraser explained. "I am sure he likes you just fine, he is just pretending not to because he is feeling put upon."
        "You think he likes me?" she repeated hopefully and Fraser nodded.
        "Of course he does, why wouldn't he?"
        "I like him." She sighed. "Too much I think." She smiled again and squeezed Fraser's hand. "Not as much as I like you though, Benton." Fraser blushed and cleared his throat.
        "I am sure you will feel better if you rest some more, Det...Tara." He amended and she nodded.
        "Will you stay with me?" she asked eagerly. "I...I just don't feel...right and I'm a little scared at the moment."
        "I will be here." He promised and an expression of relief passed over her beautiful features.
        "You truly are a real gentleman." She commented sincerely. "You'll make someone a wonderful husband one day." She squeezed his fingers again. "You're already a wonderful friend." Fraser flushed with pleasure as Diefenbaker padded in and jumped up on the bed. Fraser opened his mouth to scold him, but Tara had already wrapped her other arm around the endearing animal.
        "Wonderful." He muttered, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly impressed that the wolf had taken to Tara so easily. "Between you and Ray spoiling him, he'll be insufferable." Tara smiled, then slowly sat up, so that her face was just inches from the nervous Canadian's.
        "Do you have a girl friend, boy friend, or significant other, Benton?" she whispered and the feel of her hot breath on his skin caused a dizzying effect on him.
        "I...I...no." he admitted, knowing he should move away this instant; Tara was not in control of herself and he would be taking advantage other wise. "None...none of that."
        "Me neither." She sighed reluctantly, her dark penetrating gaze never moving from his. "It's hard to find someone who likes you as you are, for who you are and not just what they see."
        "Yes." Fraser found himself agreeing quietly, her eyes were hypnotizing him, he was sure of it, why else could he not make himself move from her touch. She reached up her free hand and caressed his cheek.
        "Let's promise to get to know each other, Benton." She requested softly. "And see beyond what everyone else sees of us." She leaned forward and brushed her lips to his in a feather light kiss. "I want to know you. If we have to be alone in our individuality, let's be alone together."
        "Yes." Fraser whispered his eyes flickering closed as she kissed him again.
        She tasted like the sweetest fruit Fraser could ever imagine and had the delightful smell of peaches and cream upon her skin. He knew he should stop this, Tara was under he influence of a drug and he was taking advantage, but he couldn't help it, she was drawing him inside her world of intoxication with her scent, her taste and her touch.
        "Don't let me forget our promise, Benton." She murmured quietly, as she broke their connection reluctantly, her eyes drifting close as the last of the drug started to take it's toll. Fraser caught her before she could fall backwards, then gently lay her down and tucked the covers around her.
        "I won't." he promised as he scratched Dief's ears affectionately, while he watched Tara sleep.
 
 

        Ray tumbled out of bed, pulled on the jeans he had dropped on the floor when he had undressed the night before, and stumbled irritably to the front door of his apartment, where someone was leaning heavily on his buzzer. It had been just three days since he had been shot up with that drug and had woke up with Francesca in his arms the following morning. She had seemed distant and preoccupied, not asking to stay the remainder of the day, once she saw he was felling better.
        He, Fraser and Detective Chang had been given a priority case by Welsh, directly after they returned to the station, so Ray hadn't had the chance to ask for that week off, as he promised Frannie he would. Francesca didn't say much when he told her and that worried Ray more then the fact that he couldn't get the time off. He wondered what had happened when he had been under the influence of the drugs, but whenever he asked she denied anything had occurred.
         "Fraser!" he growled, sliding back the dead bolt and throwing the door open. "Dis better be..." His words were cut off as he stared at Detective Chang, smiling encouragingly from the other side, holding a small bag in her hand.
         "Good morning Detective." She greeted, sardonically as she pushed past him into the apartment, looking fresh as a daisy in her dark jeans and yellow T-shirt.
        Somewhere in the recess of his memory, he remembered Francesca having once said something about yellow being a calm and soothing color, so he stared a little longer at the shirt than he probably should have. Nope, didn't work never felt less calm in his life.
         "Shouldn't you be in a basement somewhere hidin' from the sun?" he accused in annoyance as he closed his door, locked it, then moved past her to return to his bedroom.
         "I thought we'd get an early start." She suggested following him. "Before we had to go to the precinct."
         "Fine." He muttered as he crawled back over his rumpled sheets and allowed himself to drop back on his soft pillow. "Knock yerself out-I'm goin' back ta sleep."
         "Are we not a morning person, Kowalski?" she teased as she leaned against the doorway of the room. "Why did you think I was Fraser?"
         "He's da only one stupid enough ta wake me up dis early and risk gettin' shot." He retorted, taking the pillow and placing it over his head defiantly. "Go'way before I get my gun."
         "I have my own gun." She taunted.
         "Mine's bigger and within' reach." He threatened in a muffled voice. "Scram!"
         "We have too much to do for you to be lazying around all day." She decided and he lifted the pillow to glare at her, before sliding a short way's across the bed and reaching for the pistol on the night stand. Chang was quicker and her hand landed atop his over the weapon. "Wouldn't look good on your record, Kowalski." She warned.
         "No jury would convict me." He promised and she smiled.
         "Com'on, you're awake now anyway."
         "It's not even day time yet!" he exclaimed releasing the weapon in defeat and feeling her fingers move from his.   "It's still dark outside!"
         "It's getting lighter." She assured rattling the bag in her hands. "I even brought you breakfast and coffee."
         "Ya tryin' ta bribe me, Chang?" Ray demanded as he rolled over onto his back with a groan.
         "Only if it works." She replied with a hesitant grin, as the blond tossed an arm over his eyes in defeat. The smell of fresh coffee and Danishes filled the room around him and he felt a slight dip in the bed as Chang settled beside him and offered him a cup of the sweet smelling brew. "Chocolate Carmel?" she enticed and Ray finally sat up and accepted the paper cup from her, pealing back the lid and taking a small sip to taste. It was delicious, but he wasn't going to tell her that. He gave her a sideways glance, as she sipped her own coffee, then suddenly became aware that they were both seated on his bed and all he wore was his jeans.
         "Yah, well...I need a shower and at least three more cups of coffee before I wake up." He muttered, setting his cup on the nightstand then sliding across the mattress to the floor, and heading for his bathroom.
 "Don'ttakeallday!"she called after him and couldn't make out his stinging reply as he slammed the bathroom door shut. A moment later she heard the water running and smiled.
         She must have been crazy to come here, she knew that Kowalski didn't care for her at all and resented her presence with he and Fraser, but she wanted to become a good detective. The kind she'd read Kowalski was and for that she had to get into the mind of the mysterious blond, study him and try to get him to teach her what she wanted to know. She was a good cop and she would be an even better detective, if she could learn from the best, and the best was Ray Kowalski.
         She wished that she had recognized him from the service photo in his file, but he had been quite young then and wearing a policeman's cap. So, it had been her misfortune that she hadn't made the connection with the magnetically attractive detective that had approached her at the precinct that day, which seemed to be the start of their trouble. Of course her mouth often got the better of her and that did not help the situation either.
         "You mind leavin' so I can get dressed, or are you plannin' ta watch?" Kowalski's voice suddenly sounded close to her ear and she jumped, having been caught day dreaming. She hadn't even heard him come out of the bathroom, let alone walk up almost next to her damn he moved like a cat. She glanced up, then down at the towel he was wearing, then back up again.
         "I...I'll just wait out here." She scurried off the bed and tried to appear unaffected as she hurried out of the room. She heard the door close a moment later behind her and sighed in relief. Boy! That was really professional, wasn't it Tara?
        She cursed herself and thought briefly of running over to get some moral support from Fraser, three doors down, but she dismissed it. The Mountie had been great helping her through her time with them, being referee between her and Ray, and also offering insight into his partner's erratic behavior, so she didn't want to bother him.
         She couldn't quite remember what happened the night they had captured those homicide suspects and that bothered her. She remembered getting hit with something in her leg, and then they took down the criminals. She knew they had all gone to the hospital because she and Kowalski had been shot with some drug, but she didn't recall anything else until she woke up in Benton Fraser's bed the following morning.
        The Mountie had been asleep on a bedroll in the living room and she still wore all her clothes, so she knew nothing had happened; yet Fraser had blushed when he awoke and saw her standing over him. He asked her if she would like some tea or breakfast, but she had declined and went to use the washroom. While she had been gone, Fraser had quickly pulled on his jodhpurs and RCMP white issue T-shirt over his red long johns.
        They had tea and shared breakfast, she had cooked them cheese omelets and Fraser had been very appreciative, yet she sensed the Canadian was holding back something from her. She had asked him out right what her behavior had been while drugged, but he could only say it had put her in a remarkably festive mood and left it at that.
        "Are you still here?" Ray demanded as he came out of the bedroom and moved over to the kitchen to toss his now empty coffee cup in the trash.
        He reached up and pulled down a ceramic cup, one with a Mountie and a polar bear in a humorous scene that Fraser had brought back from Canada for him, and started to prepare his coffee.
Chang watched him drop a spoonful of the instant coffee into the cup, add water from the tap, then reach into a drawer and pull out a box of Smarties. He methodically dropped a select four or five into the cup, from the handful he had poured into his hand, and then the rest went into his mouth. He reached for a wooden spoon; from a jar of utensils he kept on the counter, and stirred the coffee slowly, presumably to mix the chocolate in. He took a sip; decided it was good enough and placed it in the microwave for a few seconds.
        "That is disgusting." Chang finally decided with a disapproving frown as he removed the cup and again sipped the now hot brew.
        "Hey!" he warned walking over to her. "Don't talk ta me about disgustin'. Anyone dat uses Bat time to wake up is disgustin' enough." He settled on the sofa and took another sip, before offering the cup to her. "Try it, den ya can judge." She shook her head adamantly, besides her coffee cup was still half full.
        "Gross."
        "Try it or shut up." He challenged and she could not pass up the dare. She snatched the cup from him and took a tentative swallow. Okay so it wasn't bad, kind of sweet, that didn't mean she had to admit it wasn't disgusting. She shrugged and handed the cup back.
        "It's...different." She allowed and he grinned.
        "Ya like it." He decided smugly. "Now, why are ya here again?"
        "I thought of some ideas last night that might help us figure this case out."
        "All on yer own did'ja?" Ray smirked ad she glared at him.
        "Yes, Detective." She retorted. "Unlike you I don't need a Mountie to do my work for me."
        She expected him to be furious with her, she hadn't meant that the way it sounded, well maybe she did but he made her so mad sometimes. She knew from his arrest record, before he was ever partnered with the Canadian, that he was considered one of the best in the field at solving cases and catching the bad guys, even if it meant putting up with his smart mouth and disgust of paperwork. Instead of getting upset however, Ray just leaned back and rested his cup on his knee.
        "Watch it." He warned calmly. "Dat's real close ta crossin' da line on rule number two, dere."
        "Oh!" she exclaimed standing up and moving further away before she slapped the smug look off his face. "Why are you so impossible? I'm trying to do a job here, why do you have to be so...so mean to me?" Ray set his cup on the table and stood up slowly.
        "Aww, did I hurt da detective's sensitive feelings?" he inquired boldly and Chang recognized her own words being thrown back in her face. She lowered her eyes and bit her lip, refusing to rise to the bait.
        "What do you have against me, besides being a woman?" she demanded, keeping her gaze on the patterns of the carpet, rather then meet his condescending gaze "I'm not trying to come between you and Sergeant Fraser. I don't ask anything but that you treat me fairly. I know I still have a lot to learn..." She finally raised her eyes to his, surprised that there was not mockery in them, only remorse. "I...I just wanted you to teach me to me a good detective, like you."
        "I can't do dat." Ray stated quietly and turned away, moving back to the kitchen and pulling out a loaf of bread to pop into his toaster.
        "Why?" she cried in frustration and followed him. "Do you really think I don't have the stuff to make it?"
        "No, no." Ray returned, though he kept his back to her as he stared down at the toaster. "Ya'll make a real good Detective, ya got good instincts, ya question everythin' ya see or hear and yer not too bad at research and figurin' things."
        "Then why are you trying to destroy my confidence?" she protested moving to stand just a few feet from him. "Why do you treat me like I haven't got the sense to come out of the rain?"
        "I..." she watched his fingers grip the counter fiercely and his body tense dramatically. "I don't mean ta do dat. I...ya gotta get used ta people second-guessin ya if ya wanna be good at dis. A lot of da time da only people who will believe in you is you and ya gotta just let everyone else's talk roll off yer back."
        "So...so you're actually treating me like dirt to help me adjust?" she commented in disbelief.
        "Tara, ya...ya don't understand." Ray stated and she was shocked that he had used her given name, for it was the first time he had not referred to her as just Chang. She moved closer, not willing to let this chance go by.
        "Explain it to me, then." She requested endearingly. "I want to learn from you, Ray. I want to be a good detective, the best, like you are."
        "I am not the best!" Ray exclaimed as the toast popped up, but he ignored it and pushed away from the counter to stalk back to the living room. "I'm not da best at anything. If ya wanna learn from a master den talk to Fraser, not me." He shook his head contritely. "I can't teach ya anything, Chang, except how ta screw up." He dropped onto the sofa and lowered his head into his hands. After a few moments she slowly settled beside him.
        "You're not a screw up." She insisted firmly. "Your record speaks for itself. Four citations of bravery, including the one you received from the Canadian and American Governments for your part in recovering that ten million in gold from the..."
        "Dat was different!" Ray almost screamed. "I didn't even wanna be on dat stupid ship but Fraser talked me into it." He shook his head. "Look, I Can. Not. Teach ya anything. I Will. Not. Be responsible, do ya understand?"
        "Responsible for what?' she asked perplexed. "For me being a good cop?"
        "Damnit Lee, drop it will ya?" he shouted, bolting from the sofa and moving to stand by the window, where the sun had finally risen over the horizon. Chang stared at him puzzled.
    "Who's Lee?" she asked, curious.
        "What?" he returned, glancing back at her, just as confused.
        "You called me Lee, who's Lee?" The detective turned away from her again and shook his head.
        "No body." He muttered. "Just, leave, okay? I ain't in da mood to go over yer ideas anyway." She moved to stand behind him.
        "Is Lee why you don't like me?" she questioned gently. "Did she do something to hurt you or betray your trust and now you don't trust me?" Ray's jaw tightened and he refused to answer. "I have a right to know why you hate me so much, Kowalski!"
        "I don't hate you." He murmured. "Please, just drop it. I don't wanna talk about it."
        "Maybe you should." She charged. "Maybe it will clear the air between us and we can do our jobs." She raised her hand to touch his arm but he flinched away from her. "Maybe be friends, even." She waited quietly as she watched a hundred different emotions pass over his face, until finally he allowed his head to drop and he gripped the sill almost painfully.
        "Lee..." he whispered reverently. "Lee Sung Nugyen. She...she was my first female partner and the only one...." He shook his head. "The only one I ever got killed." Chang's eyes widened but she remained silent and allowed him to continue. "She...my first partner, who got assigned wit me straight out of da police academy was John Petty. Me and him were pretty good friends, but we kinda had a falling out over some stupid thing I did, dat they awarded me a medal fer."
        "The kids in the warehouse?" she inquired and he nodded.
        "See, John didn't like playin' second fiddle ta anyone, and I don't know if he was just jealous of da attention I got fer awhile or if he just resented me fer not tellin' him what I was gonna do so he could be part of it." Ray released the windowsill and started to pace, his restlessness finally winning over his will to stay still. "John, he...well, I didn't even think about what I was doin' dat day. I just knew I had ta get dose kids out. Anyway, dey made me out ta be a hero and John wasn't fer dat at all. He started talkin' me down, tellin' everyone I was some kinda manic super cop." Ray shrugged wistfully. "Some people believed him, others seemed ta look up to me."
        "Like Lee Sung?" Chang guessed and Ray nodded.
        "She was fresh outta da academy and she had begged ta be partnered wit me, because of all da fuss everyone was makin.' Hell, I was just doin' my job, but she had me on dis pedestal like I really was Super Cop." He grinned. "Fer awhile it was kinda flatterin' y'know ta have a young rookie believe in ya so unconditionally."
        "Everyone wants to be a hero to someone, Ray." Chang offered, noticing that he didn't even glance at her for using his first name, so deep into his past he was throwing himself.
         "She...she started actin' like me on da job, goin' on her gut like I often did and to hell wit procedures." He continued. "Don't get me wrong, most times I went strictly by da book, y'know, but every cop...most cops anyway, have a sense when it's time ta tow da line and a time ta step around it, y'know?" Chang nodded. " We were a good team, and I knew I could count on her ta watch my back, just like she knew I would be dere ta watch hers. We were respondin' ta a robbery at a local liquor store just around the block from where we were crusin'. We got dere and I could see the guys inside were hyped up on something, probably smack or crack, cause dey were swinging dey're weapons around and screamin' at da people inside." Ray's voice cracked and he dropped in mid pace onto the sofa. Chang walked over and settled beside him, not bothering to try and touch him again as she had earlier, just offering a knowledge that she was there if he needed her.
        "What happened?" she pressed softly and he shook his head.
        "I told her ta wear her vest." He muttered wretchedly. "A hundred times I told her to wear her vest. We're not bullet proof, I'd say and she'd just laugh and say she had no worries with me around." Ray's hands combed over his face, as though trying to physically wipe the memory away. "She...she went around ta cover da back and I took da front. We...we shoulda waited fer back up but...deese guys were gettin' ready ta kill someone, I could feel it, and I couldn't just stand by and let it happen."
        Ray started to squeeze at the bridge of his nose, a technique Chang herself recognized and used to keep from crying.
         "I knew if Lee was true ta form, she'd make some noise in da back as she came in, divertin' dey're attention long enough fer me ta get inside and try and get em' down. But I hesitated, I hadn't looked hard enough at first ta realize dere were three guys not two and I knew I couldn't get them all, even if I hit everything I aimed for. I heard da gun go off while I was still outside da front door."
         A tear slipped out from under his lowered lashes and he pressed his fists against them.
        "Two shots, one of 'em had taken out da third guy, and I managed ta nail the other two when I burst in, by sheer surprise. But... backup arrived just as I moved in and...and while da scum bags were bein' dragged out, I saw...I saw Lee on da floor behind one of da shelves. She...she had dis look of surprise in her eyes, like...like she couldn't believe she'd been hit. She'd been expectin' me ta back her up she....she wasn't wearin' a vest because she knew I'd be dere and...I wasn't." He was crying openly now and Chang regretted ever having pressed him to relate such a painful memory. "I told her a hundred times ta wear her vest. I...I shoulda waited fer back up I...I should gone in da moment I knew she'd made it inside I..." he shook his head.
        "Ray, it wasn't your fault." Chang assured. "Things like that happen in this kind of job. You can't be responsible for a situation going bad."
        "She wanted ta be like me!" Ray cried. "Don't ya get it? She wanted ta be like me and I taught her everything I knew, including how ta jump in headfirst without lookin'. She died because I wasn't dere ta protect her like I should have. She died thinkin' she was invincible because she thought I was. She died because of one stupid move in my life dat made me a hero, and I will not let dat happen again."
        Chang sat quietly as Ray wiped angrily at his tears and then slumped back against the sofa. Now at least she understood his reluctance to work with her, but that didn't mean she would stop trying to win his approval and his respect. No matter what he thought about himself, Ray Kowalski was a brave and intelligent man; he was a damn fine cop and an even finer human being. Chang could still not help but admire him.
        "I'm not fresh out of the academy, Ray." She informed, choosing her words carefully "I'm not some rookie on her first case, I've been at this for seven years now and I am ready, according to me and my superiors to make the jump to detective. Now, you don't want to help me, you have that right, but that doesn't mean I won't still learn from you from you and Fraser both. You can't stop me from watching you and you can't stop me from respecting you, no matter how mean you are to me."
        Ray raised his gaze to stare at her, a complexity of emotions flickering in the steel blue eyes that held her attention so often. Finally he nodded.
        "Promise me ya will always wear yer vest." He murmured. "Promise ya won't do anythin' dat might get ya killed, Tara."
        "I can't promise the second request," she replied. "Because being a cop is in itself a risk, but I will promise to always wear my vest on duty." She was surprised when Ray extended his hand to her. She wrapped her fingers around his, tentatively.
        "Den I promise ta stop bein' such an ass ta ya." He returned. "Okay, partner?" Her smile was brighter than the sun itself and he couldn't help but respond to it with one of his own.
        "It's a deal, partner." She agreed happily, then unable to contain herself she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He laughed then quickly disentangled himself.
        "Hey, now." He warned. "None of dat stuff, you'll get me in trouble wit Frannie." She chuckled and tried to nod solemnly, but ended up laughing instead.
 

        "Frannie!" Ray protested pulling away from his eager fiancé and moving further across the sofa where they had been necking. She seemed to have gotten over whatever mood she had been in the last week or so and was back to her old frisky self.
         "What now?" she demanded, her patience had just about run out! It seemed she was back to square one, playing tricks to get the detective to sleep with her. It had been almost four months since they had last made love and she about had it. "You don't have to work. No one else is here and we are engaged Ray." She had made sure everyone had decided to go out for the evening, since she couldn't ever nail Ray down at his apartment without Fraser stopping by unexpectedly.
         "I know dat." He replied, as he started tucking in his T-shirt, trying not to look at the deliciously exposed flesh across from him.
         "Den what is it?" Francesca bolted to her feet and started buttoning her shirt angrily. "Don't you find me attractive anymore?" She heard Ray groan and turned to see his pained expression.
         "Don't go dere, Frannie." He requested. "You know I think yer beautiful and sexy and all of dat."
         "Then why won't you make love to me?" she almost screamed her voice heightened by frustration as Ray hung his head in his hands. A thought dawned on her and she started to tremble. "Is...have you found some one else?"
         "No!" Ray denied hotly, also bolting to his feet before her. "God Frannie! How can you....? Dere's no one but you, I don't...I would never cheat on you, or anyone else." Francesca's anger and frustration was taking over and she heard herself saying things before she could think them through properly.
         "You never cheated on Stella?" she accused, trying to ignore the trauma that she watched cross his face, the intense pain in his steel blue eyes. "With all the problems you two had? Ya even said you guys stopped havin' sex for almost a year before you actually divorced, are ya telling me you never found relief elsewhere?" Francesca watched Ray's hands and jaw clench in anger.
         "No." he denied firmly. "I never cheated on Stella, even when we stopped makin' love. Even after da divorce. I loved Stella and I couldn't betray her like dat. I never cheated on her until...." He paused and looked away for a moment, before returning his gaze to hers and Francesca flinched at the fury and pain his eyes held. "Until you, Frannie." Francesca gasped, she had assumed there had been others, surely he had....he couldn't mean she was the only other person he had ever slept with, other than his ex-wife.
         "Yer lyin'."  She decided. "No way a man would go dat long...deny himself...."
         "I never said I denied myself, Frannie." Ray corrected coldly. "I just said I never slept wit anyone after Stella until you." Francesca blushed. "Fraser ain't exactly Mr. Promiscuity, but you don't call him a liar, do ya?"
         "I...I..." Francesca didn't know what to say. He was right; she never challenged Fraser's almost puritan ways, why was she questioning Ray's?
        It was possible, as much as he loved Stella that he really didn't have sex with another woman because he was hung up on his ex-wife. But Francesca had seen the way he chased women, she paused, and the way he was turned down. When she thought of it, Ray had not pursued her the flagrant way she watched him chase other women. He seemed to enjoy his bold approach because...because he knew they would turn him down. He hadn't been ready to move on because he was still in love with Stella, and he was just playing a part expected of him.
         "What's the matter, Frannie?" Ray demanded, bringing her back into their argument. "Don't I get the same privileges as da Mountie? Don't you wanna put me on a pedestal like ya have him?"
         "I...I don't feel dat way about Fraser anymore." She denied, her mind working furiously as she tried to find a way to diffuse this situation before it became too destructive to them both. "Ray I..."
         "You still love him, don't ya Francesca?" Ray challenged and she blinked at his formal use of her name. "Yer still in love wit da Mountie an' yer takin' it out on me."
         "I am not in love wit Fraser!" she declared. "I love you."
         "Yah, I can tell dat real well." Ray muttered grabbing up his coat and shrugging into it as he headed for the door. Francesca chased after him.
         "Why don't you want to have another baby?" she demanded and watched him halt in his tracks and turn back to her.
         "I never said I didn't." he denied confused.
         "Ya did when ya were under those drugs last week." She convinced. "Ya said you were afraid of makin' love ta me because of makin' another baby." Actually he hadn't said quite that but she was grasping at straws now.
         "Like I knew what I was sayin'?" he stared at her in disbelief. "Frannie, I don't even remember dat, and I even asked ya if I said anything ta make ya upset and ya said no. Ya just kept givin' me da cold shoulder and now yer all warm again. Well, dat's a game, dat I ain't got time for." He turned on his heel and headed for the front door again.
         "Damnit Ray!" she exclaimed running around him and blocking his exit. "Why do you have'ta run from everything? Why can't you just talk to me?"
         "Talk to you?" Ray demanded in disbelief. "Ya accuse me of cheatin' on ya, you call me a liar to my face and ya want me ta talk to ya? All right Ms. Vecchio, how's dis fer talkin'? I'm not ready ta make love again, I'm sorry yer feelin's are gettin' hurt, but dat's the way I feel." Francesca's heart fell as his voice cracked with emotion. "I can't stop seein' you fall over those stairs. I can't get rid of the look on yer face when ya found out our baby died and ya blamed me fer it. I go to his grave site every damn day tryin' ta make sense of why he died when he never even had a chance to live, and you know what I've come up with?" Francesca stepped toward him, watching the single tear start down his cheek, as she reached to comfort him. Ray pulled away from her and stepped back.
         "Don't do this, Ray." She pleaded. "Please don't..." But the detective was too far-gone, too caught up in his own anguish for her words to reach him.
         "I came up wit the fact dat I am a screw up, Frannie." He declared. "I tried ta have kids and play da happy family man wit Stella, it didn't work. I took on some one else's identity, to try and become someone other than who I am, and it didn't work. I have done nothing but disappoint people my entire stinkin' life and I've already caused you and yer family more problems den I'll ever make up fer. Dat's what I think about, Frannie. Dat's what makes me do da things I do."
         "Ray, please, yer not a screw up I just..." Francesca offered but he was already pushing past her to the front door.
         "You don't trust me, Frannie." He murmured painfully. "Ya think I would sleep wit someone else when I have you..." he turned and she felt her own eyes tear up at his anguished expression. "No one could compete wit you, Sweetness, don't you know dat? Not even Stella, not in my heart." He shook his head sadly. ""I can't stay wit someone who doesn't trust me, who...who calls me a liar. I'm sorry Frannie, I'm sorry ya ever met me, sorry I ever hurt ya.
         "Ray!" Francesca cried as she watched the man she loved walk out the door. She ran after him but he was already in the GTO and speeding away. "Damn you, Ray Kowalski! You aren't gonna do dis to me again damn you!" she sobbed and hid her face in her hands.
 

        The following Monday at the station, Francesca was still very upset about Ray walking out on her Friday night. He had not called or come by the rest of the weekend, so they could make up, so she decided to stay mad at him a little while longer and see how he liked it. When Fraser and his partner walked past her desk that day, she acknowledged Fraser cheerfully and completely ignored Ray. Then she pointedly turned her back on him to answer the phone. Ray waved a frustrated hand at her and continued on his way, with Fraser following
        They headed, as usual for the break room, where Ray poured himself some coffee. Diefenbaker jumped up and placed his paws on the counter next to him and he tilted his head closer to the wolf.
        "You still like me, don't you Dief?" he asked the animal, who responded with a wet kiss and a soft whine before dropping to the floor again.
        "Diefenbaker has grown quite fond of you, Ray." Fraser assured, shaking his head in polite refusal as Ray held up the coffeepot toward him, he did not care for the precinct's unique brew; he found even his stomach had trouble digesting it. He could not see how his partner managed to consume it; of course the detective did tend to empty vast amounts of sugar or chocolate candies into his servings.
        "Glad to know I have someone in my corner, even if it is just a wolf." Ray grumbled as he started back out of the room, assuming Fraser would follow.
        "You have more than Diefenbaker in your corner, Ray." He reminded, hurt that the detective would so obviously over look their close friendship. He watched Ray pause half way down the corridor and stare down into the dark liquid his Styrofoam cup held. Diefenbaker had come to a halt a few feet ahead of them, turning back to see why the men were no longer following.
        "I know dat, buddy." Ray finally admitted quickly, tossing an affectionate arm across the Mounties's shoulders. "Wit you and Dief, I don't need anyone else, I got it made." Fraser smiled slightly but saw through his friend's façade.
        "Has something occurred between you and Francesca, Ray?" He asked gently and felt his partner's arm drop from around him. "She seems upset with you?"
        "She's more upset over somethin' not occurin' Benton Buddy." Ray sighed as they passed the civilian aid's desk and Ray kept his gaze from meeting Francesca's. He understood her frustration, but she had to understand his as well, something's you just had to be patient about.
        "I am afraid I do not understand, Ray." Fraser admitted and Ray shook his head declining to answer. "I do not mean to pry."
        "No, yer good, Frase, really." Ray assured as they reached his desk again and he set his coffee down. "It...it's just not somethin' I wanna talk about here at work, where we can be over heard, y'know? Later buddy, promise."
        "Understood, Ray." Fraser agreed. "Although you do not have to confide in me if it is something deeply personal that you would prefer to keep to yourself. I fully understand your right to privacy, I only wish to help if I can."
        "I know, Fraser." Ray warranted. "Yer my best friend, if I was gonna tell anyone about it I'd tell you. I mean, you've been real helpful lettin' me cry on yer shoulder, or vent when I needed, a real buddy, I just wish I could do more fer you ya know?"
        "Ray, you do a great deal for me." Fraser promised with genuine affection. "I assure you there is no one else I trust more than you, no one else that I can confide in or makes me feel as needed as you do and I do appreciate that."
        "Yah, well..." Ray muttered lowering his eyes almost shyly in the face of such praise. "Don't get all mushy on me, especially not here at da station-people will talk." Fraser grinned.
        "Understood." He replied calmly, knowing how very uncomfortable his partner and friend was with any sort of praise. "Perhaps I shall go and see how Detective Chang is doing with Mort." Ray nodded, one good thing about having the female detective, Ray could send her to the morgue for information in their cases, since she was technically in training and she also didn't have the offence that Ray did about being around dead bodies.
        "You do dat, Buddy." He returned as he set his coffee on the desk and reached for one of the files. "I'm gonna finish up some paper work."
        "Very well, Ray." Fraser agreed and set off to find Detective Chang. Ray still had a sneaking suspicion that his favorite Mountie and the new girl had a mutual attraction going and he was wondering if Fraser was ever going to get the guts to act on it.
        "Ray!" a familiar voice cried and his head shot upwards to see Stella Kowalski- Vecchio hurrying toward him. She looked wonderful in a tastefully tailored rose colored mini dress. He stood just as she threw her arms around him and giggled in delight. "You are a sight for sore eyes."
        "Stell." He greeted surprised, as he stepped back from her to maintain some distance between them, since he knew Francesca would be watching. "Ya look...ya look great! Where's Vecchio?"
        "At home." She dismissed impatiently. "I came by to take you to lunch so we could catch up." Ray stared at her confused.
        "Um...on what, Stell?" he asked quietly. "We never really talked before ya left and...well...I just don't..."
        "I plan to remedy that starting right now." Stella insisted slipping her hand into his. "I want you to tell me everything that's been going on." She giggled and hugged him again. "I can't believe how much I missed you." Ray couldn't believe it either. Was this his Stella? The Stella? The same Stella that had tore his heart out and stomped all over it and who had always treated him such a high level of intolerance and disdain?
        "Yer...yer not dyin' are ya Stell?" he asked worried, finding the only reason he could for her behavior and she laughed.
        "Oh Ray, you always did have such a weird sense of humor." She decided. "No, I'm perfectly happy. In fact, I feel better than I have in years."
        "Like marriage ta Vecchio do ya?" Ray concluded reluctantly.
        "Oh, Ray's a pretty good guy, a big flirt, but then what man isn't?" She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Except for you of course, you always kept those lovely eyes just for me, didn't you baby?"
        "Yah, Stell." Ray admitted. "Lot of good it did me."
        "Oh, let's not go there." She pouted. "I have loads of news to tell you and I want you to come to lunch with me."
        "I...I'd love ta come to lunch wit ya Stell, but I'm kinda backed up here at da moment." He excused. "Can't ya just tell me yer news here?" Stella considered that idea for a moment then sighed in defeat.
        "Oh...all right." She agreed. "I don't want to take you from your work, but I did want to show you this." She pulled a small yellow sleeper out of the bag she had been carrying. Ray stared at it, his eyes growing wide as he struggled to comprehend. "Well? Aren't you excited? Can you guess my news?" When he still didn't respond she chuckled. "I'm pregnant, silly! Ray and I are going to have a baby! You'll be an uncle, well once you marry Francesca anyway."
        "A...an uncle." Ray stammered relieved his desk was directly behind him and he had something to hold onto to keep him upright. "B...but you never wanted kids."
        "Oh, that was before, when I was working." She insisted calmly. "Now that my biological clock is ticking I've reconsidered. I'll admit when I found out I was pregnant I was furious, but then, I got used to the idea and...well, I'm looking forward to being a Mother. Ray is ecstatic of course."
        "Of course." Ray mimicked, unable to tear his eyes away from the sleeper, until she finally placed it back in the bag. When he raised his eyes to hers she frowned at the pain she saw behind them.
        "Ray?" she asked worried. "Are you all right? You look sick."
        "Sick?" Ray repeated dazed. No, he wasn't sick he was in shock. Stella was going to have a baby, Vecchio's baby, not his. Stella was going to be a mum, but he and Frannie had lost their baby. "I...I gotta go, Stell. Con...congratulations ta you and...and Vecchio." He stumbled away from her and headed for the precinct's bathroom, a concerned Francesca watching him closely.
        "How could you be so insensitive?" the pretty Italian demanded, having heard the exchange and rising from her chair stormed over to the other woman. "You know how much Ray wanted to have kids with you, but ya denied him. Now yer throwin' my brother's conquest in his face? How could you?"
        "Now just a minute!" Stella protested. "I told Ray because I thought he would be happy for us and if he's upset because I'm having another man's child then you had better ask yourself why, since you are his fiancé." She tossed her hair away from her shoulders defiantly. "Ray needs to realize that we will never get back together, Francesca and if that's too painful for him, then you don't have much of a man to fuss over. He's weak, he has always been weak, because he can't let go of things and move on and one day you'll realize that you are just as pathetic to put up with him." Stella's head reared back with the force of the blow as Francesca's palm met the taller woman's cheek, just as Fraser and Tara rounded the corner.
        "I'll forgive you that one." Stella decided raising her fingers to the cheek, which now held the red palm print of Francesca's hand, though her eyes glowered dangerously. "I care about Ray, despite what you think, I will always care about him, but I also know how easy it is to fall for him and how hard it is letting him go, or seeing the truth about him. Maybe you will never see it, maybe he won't ever expose that part of himself to you as he did me, but if he does then you'll understand that I speak the truth."
        "You were the one that hurt him!" Francesca accused furious. "Ya stepped all over him on yer climb to the top and never gave him a second thought, despite how much he loved you. You are the one who needs ta look in the mirror and see what an insensitive bitch ya really are."
        "Francesca." Fraser cautioned stepping forward between the two warring women, just as Lieutenant Welsh headed toward them, his expression grim. "Perhaps we can continue this discussion somewhere else."
        "That would be appropriate." Welsh agreed, glowering at Francesca. "Keep it outta my precinct Miss. Vecchio."
        "I was just leaving anyway." Stella decided firmly, just as Ray Kowalski appeared and walked toward them. Welsh glared at him as well.
        "Is there a problem I should know about, Detective?" he demanded and Ray looked at him confused.
        "Um...no." he returned puzzled. Welsh nodded and turned back toward his office.
        "Keep it that way." He warned as Ray glanced at the others.
        "What'd I miss?" he questioned curious and Francesca lowered her eyes as Ray observed the red mark on Stella's cheek. He reached out to touch it and she moved away from his touch. "Stell?"
        "Nothing, Ray." She assured quietly as she tried to offer him a smile. "Feeling better?"
        "Yah." Ray admitted, still glancing between Francesca and his ex-wife. "I think I got a bad batch of coffee or somethin'." Stella smirked and patted his arm affectionately.
        "I hope you feel better then." She offered flicking a cold gaze toward the smaller Italian woman who had returned to her desk and sat with her eyes glued to her computer. "I assume you'll be coming to dinner?"
        "I dunno." He returned, still suspicious that something had occurred between the two women. "Depends on what I get wrapped up here." She nodded in understanding.
        "Yes, I know police work takes up a good deal of your time, it always did." She added pointedly with another look toward Francesca, before she walked off. Fraser and Chang decided to move away and converse, as Ray perched on the corner of Francesca's desk, folded his arms and stared down at her.
        "Wanna explain dat to me, Frannie?"
        "No." she returned coolly. "I don't want to explain anything to you at all." She started to type something into her computer, keeping her eyes on the screen. "I assumed ya were upset over Stella's news, I guess I was wrong." She sniffed. "Not that it's any of my business anymore."
        "How long ya gonna stay mad at me, Frannie?" Ray requested quietly. "Cause if it's gonna be a while, I gotta tell ya, I'm not up fer it and I might have other plans."
        "What other plans?" she demanded finally meeting his gaze.
        "How long ya gonna stay mad?" he repeated his question and she turned away.
        "Until you apologize." She returned stiffly and he sighed.
        "I got nothin' ta apologize fer, Francesca." He informed firmly, lengthening her name intentionally. "And if dat's what yer expectin', den you'll have a real long wait."
        "Then I guess we have nothing further to discuss, do we?" she rebuked, blinking away the sudden tears that stung her eyes. Ray unfolded his arms stood, then leaned down and kissed her cheek regretfully.
        "Guess not." He agreed softly and walked back to his desk.
         Francesca willed herself not to turn and look at him. Surely he wasn't going to leave it at that?  The way he kissed her, it was like he was saying goodbye for good. She pressed her eyes closed a few more times but could not dispel the tears and finally had to rise and hurry to the lady's room to cry.
         Was he really going to let it end like that? Didn't he love her anymore? She washed her face and wiped it dry, then stared at her remorseful reflection. She had only thought...She had only been trying to get him to admit that she had a right to be angry, that they needed to discuss what they were feeling. Instead she had pushed him away. He had told her many times that he didn't play games and Francesca hadn't taken him seriously, now she may have lost him forever.
        She tossed the towel in the waste bin and hurried out to apologize, she didn't want to loose him, he was too important to her. She let her temper get the better of her and now she was paying the price. She hurried toward the squad room, just in time to see Fraser's departing back. She hurried after the trio but was not fast enough, and when she stepped out into the parking lot the GTO had already pulled away.
 

         "Ray?" Fraser called as he knocked on the detective's apartment door for the third time. He could hear the music coming from inside, a soft haunting ballad that seemed to tear at his heartstrings. "Ray, I know you are in there, please open the door." Finally, the music was turned down and the door flung open. Fraser stared into the face of a man that should be his friend and partner but looked nothing like him.
         "Hiya Frase." The man greeted in Ray Kowalski's smiling voice. "Com'ahn in, sorry ta keep ya waitin', I was busy in da bathroom."
         "Ray?" Fraser began stepping inside cautiously, as the other man moved back toward the kitchen table, where a large black duffel bag and assortment of clothes and equipment were gathered.
         The man before him offered very little resemblance to the man he knew and Fraser fought to see his partner through the elaborately good disguise. Ray's wildly blond locks had scalp and dyed a dark, handsome auburn. His eyes, which must have been covered by contacts, were a deep emerald green. He sported a matching beard, moustache and side burns, all connected and neatly trimmed to frame his face, his unfamiliar face.
         "What is going on, Ray?" Fraser finally asked as he watched his friend continue to pack the duffel bag on the table.
         "Oh, ya mean the new look?" Ray guessed with a grin. "It's fer an assignment, buddy."
         "What assignment, Ray?" Fraser demanded, confused. "I don't recall Leftenant Welsh giving us...
         "Not us, buddy, just me." Ray amended kindly as he pulled the zipper across the bag to seal it then turned to move past Fraser to fetch a drink from the fridge. He offered one to the Mountie who shook his head. "I was offered a position wit the DEA, Fraser. I'm goin' undercover as a narc."
        Fraser stared at him in shock. The DEA was dangerous enough, but undercover drug dealers and informants were all too often hurt or killed on the job, why in the world had Ray taken this assignment and why hadn't he mentioned it before?
         "I...I don't understand, Ray." Fraser stammered. "H...How long will you be doing this?" Fraser had assumed it would be just a few weeks or so, but he was stunned when Ray replied.
         "It's permanent, Fraser." He stated quietly, not quite meeting the Mounties's eyes.
         "If...if you are going undercover then...then are we still partners?" Fraser asked trying to quell the trembling inside him. He hadn't felt this worried or lost since the time on the Henry Allen, when he and Ray were going to accept different transfers.
         "Like you said when we were in Canada, Buddy." Ray offered. "We'll always be partners, even if we don't see each other all the time or we go in separate directions. But don't worry about havin' nothin' ta do or no partner, Welsh told me dat Chang passed her Detective's exam and he'd try and keep you and her together, if ya want. If dat doesn't work ya can always speak ta Vecchio. He and Stella are movin' back here. You'll have yer old partner back, maybe get him ta take my place at the precinct, or rather his place...somethin' like dat." Ray grinned but he couldn't quite hold it up against the pain reflected in the Mounties's eyes.
    "I don't want my old partner back, Ray." He stated, and Ray stared at him surprised. "And as much as I appreciate Detective Chang's talents, I don't want her as my partner either. I want you. Ray Vecchio and I will always be friends, but you, you Ray Kowalski are my partner. How can you just leave? Were you even going to tell me?"
        Fraser was aware he sounded like a petulant child but he didn't care. How could Ray do this? He had come back from Canada for Ray; he had rejoined the RCMP and took a demotion for Ray here in Chicago. He gave up...everything so Ray could be happy, and now he was leaving?
         " I just decided on it today, Frase, and you'll be okay." Ray decided moving back toward the living room. "You were fine when Vecchio left, at least I'm tellin' ya before I go and not just takin' off without warning."
         "Oh, well, thank you so very much for your consideration Mr. Kowalski." Fraser snapped and Ray glanced at him startled. He realized he was probably the only person to ever see the emotional side of the Mountie and for a moment he considered how much he would miss their closeness.
     "Gee, dat sounded like sarcasm, buddy." He teased. "Not very Mountie like at all."
      "Ray!" Fraser declared exasperated as he followed his partner to the sofa. "Why the sudden change? What about Francesca, Ray? I know you both had a quarrel, but that is no reason to just take off. You have to talk it out and..."
         "Fraser, Frannie and I have said all we're gonna say to each other." Ray decided firmly, he was not in the mood to discuss his former fiancé. "She doesn't trust me and I can't...I can't trust myself not to hurt her."
         "So you are going to just throw it all away?" Fraser demanded angrily. "Don't you realize how lucky you are to have found two great loves in your life, Ray? Some people don't ever get a second chance like that."
         Ray stared at him and felt his stomach drop. Frase was speaking from experience; he had lost the great love of his life. A cold hearted woman who had tried to destroy him and Ray Vecchio in her quest for revenge.
         "Frase, I know..." he began but Fraser cut him off.
         "No Ray you don't know." He refused. "You can't possibly know how it feels to give your heart completely to someone and be betrayed by them. Or to love someone so incredibly and know that you can never have them.
         "Hey!" Ray demanded. "Back up! What da hell ya think I went through wit Stella?"
         "Stella didn't betray you, Ray, she merely divorced you." Fraser stated coolly.
         "It's the same damn thing! Ray declared his temper rising. "We vowed to honor and cherish in sickness and in health to stay together with only death comin' between us and she betrayed those vows." Ray's breathing was growing faster with his oncoming fury. "She took those vows and she walked all over them! She tore my heart out of my chest and left me bleeding too pick up the pieces of a life she shattered! What the hell is dat if it ain't betrayal? She betrayed me. She betrayed our love and she...."
         "Shattered your trust of others, Ray." Fraser resumed quietly and watched his partner stare at him dumfounded. "How can you expect Francesca to trust you when you don't trust her, Ray."
         "I...that's not true I..." Ray stammered appalled.
         "You don't trust her not to hurt you as Stella did." Fraser reasoned. "You don't trust her to take those vows and keep them. That is why you are running, Ray, because you know it is you that will betray your love this time, because you are afraid of getting hurt again or of hurting Francesca, so you are betraying the love both of you share by running away."
         "I...I'm not running I...I took an assignment." Ray deflected, rising to stalk over to his window and stare out at the city.  Fraser shook his head.
         "Yes, just as you became Ray Vecchio to deal with the hurt you felt as Ray Kowalski when Stella left you, now you are about to become someone else as well to keep from getting hurt by the love Francesca has offered you." Fraser rose and moved to stand behind his distraught friend. "Ray, what is really behind all of this? What are you really afraid of?"
     "Leave me alone, Fraser!" Ray demanded angrily. "I refuse to take advice from someone who can't get past the greeting stage in a relationship that involves a woman. Ya know Tara likes ya and you like her, but ya put her off da way ta put off every woman.  Ya hide behind dat uniform like some frightened kid instead of takin' a chance. You don't know what you're talkin' about. Dis time you don't have all the answers you..."
         "Do you love her, Ray?" Fraser interrupted quietly and Ray snapped his mouth shut. "Do you love Francesca?"
         "Screw you, Benton Fraser." Ray defended. "You are not gonna play yer guilt games with me, not now." Fraser grabbed his partner and spun him around, surprising them both by his sudden break in composure.
         "Do you love her or have you just been playing with her feelings, Ray?" Fraser demanded coldly and for the first time, Ray was actually afraid of the Mountie, afraid of the icy anger those cerulean blue eyes pierced him with. "I hurt Francesca by being obtuse and ignorant to her advances. I knew very well she wanted me and I tried to skirt the issue at every cost to avoid getting involved or possibly giving her any kind of encouragement. I hurt her because I was trying to be kind to her, I hurt her because I wasn't ready for a relationship with her or anyone but I hurt her because I cared so much for her and she was my best friend's sister."
         Ray blinked and tried to shake free of the Canadian's grip. Usually he could keep his temper reasonably well during one of their arguments, but the Mountie was getting physical now and Ray wasn't going to take that from anyone, even if it was his best friend.
         "Let go or you'll regret it, Fraser." He warmed, assuming the Mountie would understand he meant business, but Fraser's response was to toss him back against the wall, tightening his grip on his upper shoulders. "Jesus Fraser! Get off of me before I kick you in da head!"
         "I won't let you do this, Ray." Fraser insisted. "I won't let you throw all of this away."
         "Fraser get off me!" Ray struggled against him, the Mountie was larger and stronger but an angry Chicago cop was nothing to sneeze at either and gathering his strength he shoved Fraser hard, using the wall he was up against as leverage, watching as Fraser stumbled backwards, barely catching himself to keep from falling.  When Fraser took a step forward Ray raised his fist in warning.
         "Ray I..." Fraser stammered it seemed the shove had brought him back to reality and he was forced to review his actions.
         "I mean it, Fraser!" the detective threatened. "I'll nail ya, right here, partner or not." Fraser stepped back and put his hands up defensively as shame permeated him.
         "I...I apologize Ray I...I did not mean to get physical." He offered contritely and Ray slowly lowered his defensive posture, though he continued to watch Fraser warily. "I...I don't know what happened I...I have never..."
         That was a lie before he could even finish it, he had let his anger get the better of him once before, when he had been forced to re-capture Gerrard. He had come close to killing the man himself. Now, that anger had been exposed to Ray, his best friend and partner and Fraser felt ashamed for loosing control. Ray had seen him angry before, Ray was probably the only one he felt comfortable enough to show any of himself to, but that did not excuse getting physically violent with the detective.
         "Frase?" Ray asked, cautiously bringing the Mountie out of his self-incriminating revere. Fraser slowly looked up and met his friend's gaze, despite the green contacts and beard he still could see the blond detective reflected back.
         "I...I apologize, Ray." He offered again moving to collect his hat. "I...You must do what you feel is right. I won't bother you any longer." Ray had cleared the sofa and was in front of the Canadian in a flash, blocking his exit to the front door.
         "Hey!" he cried defensively. "What is dis? Ya just dropped by fer a drink and ta toss me up against da wall? Fraser, com'han! You never give up dis easily, stick around and I'll let ya keep tellin' me off for another few minutes at least before I pop ya."
         "Ray." Fraser murmured his eyes lowered as he fidgeted with his Stetson. "My actions are inexcusable I..."
         "So are mine." Ray decided, refusing to move even an inch. "We're both inexcusable, so who else will have us?" Ray was trying to lighten the mood, he didn't want Fraser leaving on a sour note, but the Mounties's lips didn't so much as twitch. "Fraser, please. Don't go away pissed at me I...I don't know when I'll get ta see ya again."
         "Whose fault is that?" Fraser asked defiantly, still refusing to meet his friend's gaze, despite Ray's attempts.
         "Aw...dat's not Buddies." He sighed. "Don't be like dat. I already committed to the assignment. It doesn't mean we can't still be friends."
         "What about Francesca, Ray?" Fraser demanded, finally raising his gaze to the detective's. "Are you even going to tell her you are leaving?" Ray lowered his eyes and Fraser's lips tightened. You were just going to leave then, without a word?"
         "I...I can't talk to Frannie about this, Fraser." Ray explained. "'How...how would I...she wouldn't understand."
         "That would make two of us then." Fraser opted and Ray flinched and moved away from the door.
         "Fine, Fraser." He sighed. "Be dat way. I can't change yer mind and you can't change mine, so I guess dis is it."
         "You could change yours, Ray." Fraser reminded softly. "Just tell them you don't want the transfer, you have done it before."
          Both men grew quiet as they remembered a glorious time of pirates, gold treasure and ghosts of the past. After a long moment, Ray moved to the kitchen table and reached for the remainder of his belongings, stuffing them into the bag with slow precision as Fraser watched from doorway. Finally the Mountie put on his hat and opened the door.
         "Good bye, Ray." He offered quietly. "God Speed." Then after only a moment's hesitation he went out and closed the door firmly behind him. Ray Kowalski dropped into the chair beside him and stared at the flashlight in his hands.
         "So long Benton, Buddy." He whispered sadly.
 

To Be Continued....