Close to Ideal

Author: necessary angel
Rating: NC17 - for rude words and m/m interaction Pairing: Kowalski/Fraser
Summary: Ray has to deal with the aftershocks of the events in Second Best.
Disclaimer - Not mine. Never will be but do you think I can charge Ray rent for living in my head?
Author's notes: I don't usually write sequels but Ray wouldn't leave me alone so here the sequel to Second Best and it will probably help if you read that first
Feedback: Yes, please necessary_angel@yahoo.com

Kowalski runs down the steps of the courthouse stripping his tie from his neck and undoing the two top buttons of his shirt. He rubs his other hand over the back of his neck. Well thank the fuck that was over for this time anyway. He sighs loudly. He has always hated appearing in court, wearing a suit and tie, sitting around for endless hours, being jerked around by two-bit defence lawyers but his new life had really added to the punishment. Treading the fine line between maintaining his cover and avoiding perjuring himself was always tricky no matter how minor the case. Of course that was the reason Stella was the ADA on his cases. It wasn't anything that would cause comment, she had the 27th as part of her caseload but it really didn't make the whole fucking mess any easier.

Today had been worse than usual, a real jerkwad defence lawyer and Stella in best prickly bitch mode had turned an open and shut burglary charge into a day long session. He'd played nice in the courtroom not wanting to give any chance that the perp. would walk or to piss Stella off any further. Kicking the wall in the restroom after his session had settled the worst of his frustration at the lawyer and hurt his foot but not undone the knot in his guts that had Benton Fraser at the center of it.

He hasn't called Fraser today despite picking up his cell phone a hundred times and as he had been scheduled at court for this morning only the Mountie will probably go to the 27th at the end of his shift. Kowalski glances at his watch. He is off duty and if he goes home, he can shower before having to face Fraser. His shoulders relax slightly and he feels his headache fade a little. He fishes past the balled up tie for his car keys and steps around the last pillar into the corner where he left the GTO.

Fraser is leaning against the car, Dief lying at his feet. Fuck. Kowalski swallows past the rock in his throat, Fraser looks so damn hot. Even that stupid uniform makes him look unreal but the jeans, a soft grey Henley and his leather jacket moulded across his broad shoulders send a flash of heat to Kowalski's groin and ratchet the knot in his stomach tighter.

"Hello, Ray. I called in at the precinct and they told me you got delayed with the case so Dief and I decided to come to meet you. Was it a successful outcome? Are you ready for dinner? Ray, Ray, Ray!"

Kowalski loosens his death grip on his car keys, suddenly aware that he is just standing, staring at Fraser. Fraser who has lost his easy smile and is frowning at him with concern.

"Hey Fraze, sorry I was just spacing out. I wasn't really expecting ya." He forces his rubbery legs to move closer to the car.

"Ray, I just wanted to see you. I didn't think about how tired a day in court would leave you." Fraser's voice is low and soft and he is standing far too close.

Kowalski closes his eyes, the headache is hammering at his left temple and the last place he wants to be is here or anywhere talking to Fraser. It hurts too much, knowing what Fraser is gonna say later. Why do polite and civilised people always drag these things out over dinner, why not just say nice fuck but fuck off or even better just not talk at all? He opens his flayed eyelids but his intended words die in his throat, the warm concerned look in Fraser's blue eyes undoes him completely. "Rough day, Fraze, rough day." He unlocks the car. "How about ya?"

He concentrates on getting the car out of the parking lot in one piece, tuning Fraser's commentary on his day at the Consulate out. Finally they are moving through the heavy rush hour traffic and Fraser has stopped talking. Kowalski taps his fingers on the steering wheel and finds a smile. "So where we gonna go for dinner? He knows Fraser is watching him but he keeps his head turned forward. He can do this if he just doesn't look at Fraser, at least not while he is driving; it is bad enough smelling the leather and pine scent of him and feeling his warmth stealing across the car. He is suddenly thankful for the loose cut of his suit pants.

"There's a nice little Italian restaurant a few blocks over from your apartment and they don't mind Dief."

"Oh you mean Gino's. I haven't been there for a while." He is more than amazed at the even tone of his voice. Yeah right not since ya tried the last ditch flowers, dinner and dancing game with Stella and she told ya she was leaving for good. He sucks in a deep breath at the sharp stab of pain low in his belly. At least I won't have another eating place to add to list of ones to avoid.

"Is that OK with you Ray? If you would prefer somewhere else, I just thought."

"Na, Fraze, it's fine. The food is great there and if they don't mind His Fuzziness. It's fine."

"Ray, are you sure you are okay?" Fraser's voice is closer and he can feel his warm breath on his ear.

Kowalski moves away from the stop light, "Yeah, Frazuh, I am fine. I just hate being stuck at the courthouse all day ya know and today was one of the worst."

"Was he found not guilty?"

Fraser's voice is further away and his breath no longer tickles against Kowalski's ear. He pushes away the faint sense of loss.

"Na, even Mr Superprick Lawyer couldn't find a way through that kinda evidence."

"Ah but he tried."

"Oh yeah, but Stella was really cool. She just ko'd him."

Kowalski turns the car into the parking lot at Gino's and switches off the engine. "Well here we are."

"Yes."

Fraser doesn't make a move to leave the car. Kowalski turns to face him, placing one hand on Fraser's butterscotch shoulder. "Hey Fraze, are yer alright?"

Fraser's warm hand covers his and squeezes slightly. "It's just so good to see you. I really wanted..."
That warm hand moves to his face, a finger tracing his lips. Kowalski shivers and moves closer to Fraser. He nips lightly at the fingertip taunting his lower lip. Fraser growls low in his throat and his grip tightens on Kowalski's face angling him for the deep penetrating kiss that invades his mouth. Dazed he captures the teasing sweep of Fraser's tongue and sucks on the tip. Fraser's hands move lower on to his shoulders and he is suddenly half sprawled across the heavy warmth of Fraser's body. A sharp bark breaks through Kowalski's drugged daze and he pushes away from Fraser.

"Oh Jesus." His chest heaves as he desperately draws air into his lungs.

"Yes Dief, I know you are hungry." Fraser's voice is hoarse and his breathing harsh.

Kowalski can't hold it in any longer and he rests his head on the steering wheel laughing.

Fraser stops talking to the canine passenger and chuckles. "Come on Ray, I think one of us wants his dinner."

Kowalski straightens up and wipes the tears from the corner of his right eye. "Alright, alright. Damn walking, barking, furry garbage disposal unit ya are." Dief just stares at him.

The headwaiter is extraordinarily pleased to see Fraser and the wolf, less so to see Kowalski with them. He leads them to the best table in the house, calmly removing a reserved notice from the table as he seats them. Kowalski watches him checking out Fraser very subtly and smiles grimly.

"Signor Fraser, these people are late and you are here." The waiter waves away Fraser's polite protests airily. "I'll tell Gino you are here."

"They do know ya here." Kowalski comments with a grin as he begins to scan the menu.

"Well I've helped them a few times and Dief stopped a man from stealing the takings one night."

"Ah."

At last their food is ordered and the talkative Gino has left them, Kowalski leans back in his seat. Fraser is playing with the edge of his napkin and he feels the corkscrew in his stomach unwind slightly at the slight display of nerves.

He is so sick of this game, of waiting to be pushed. Leaning forward he hisses, "Fraser ya didn't need to bring me here to do this, we could have talked anywhere. Ya didn't need to sweeten things."

Fraser raises his head, obviously startled. Kowalski pushes his advantage. "Look I know what yer going to say, can't we just pretend ya have?"

Fraser closes his jaw with a snap. "Ray, I think."

"Look I might not be the brightest guy and even more than most when it comes to stuff like this but I am not stupid. Let's just leave it at that."

"Ray, Ray."

"Fraze, I just don't need to hear it, ya know."

Eyes stinging, Kowalski pushes himself to his feet and heads for the men's room. He leans against the cool wall, taking slow breaths, gradually the taste of bile moves back down his throat. He moves over to the basin and splashes cool water on his face. Water trickles down his neck on the lapel of his dark blue suit but he can't bring himself to care. He glances in the mirror wincing at the sight of his red-rimmed eyes and stubble. "Classy, Kowalski."

"Very actually." Fraser's voice makes him crack his elbow against the wall as he whirls round.

"Jesus, fucking, Christ, Fraze. Yer trying to kill me?"

"No, just trying to tell you how good you look tonight." Fraser is blushing but he keeps moving, getting nearer and nearer

"Well ya and Stella both. She always hated my normal clothes."

"Oh I don't hate your normal clothes, Ray. You always look very good, very sexy."

Kowalski feels his cheeks staining as the words hit his brain. Fraser's voice is amused, but his eyes aren't at all playful. With a start Kowalski realizes that Fraser is standing inches away from him, his hands braced on the wall on either side of his shoulders. He swallows hard as he recognizes the look in Fraser's eyes. Fraser is angry, quietly and very definitely angry.

"Fraze, what ya doing, I thought."

"Ray, shut up. That's right, you thought and you assumed and now you are going to listen."

Kowalski swallows hard again, his mouth is dry, his heart is pounding and he is as hard as a rock.

"I didn't bring you here to sweeten you, to give you a nice kiss off. I brought you here because it is one of my favourite places to eat and I wanted to buy you dinner. To buy you dinner and talk about what happened last night, about why last night happened. If everything went as I imagined, as I have all day, I wanted us to go back to your apartment after a wonderful meal and I wanted you to make love to me."

Fraser pauses, licking his lips. The anger is starting to fade from his eyes. Kowalski stares at him, his chest heaving and his cock threatening to burst through his zipper.

"Oh Jesus Fraze, I."

"I thought I told you to be quiet. I don't know what is in your head but I don't play those kinds of games. You know me." His voice softens. "Last night was amazing. I never thought we could have that together and I have wanted it for so long, for so long. I have never felt like this about anyone."

"Not even Vecchio?" Kowalski can feel his skin scorching at look in Fraser's eyes but he has to know the answer."

"Is that what you think? That you were some kind of substitute; that I might as well have the full stand in. Oh, Ray. I really could kick you in the head right this minute. Weren't you listening to me last night, people aren't interchangeable. How many times do I have to say that to you? Ray Vecchio and I were, are very good friends, like brothers and just once lovers, just for one night. It was something we had to do to realise it wasn't part of who we were together. You are not second best to him, do you understand?"

Kowalski closes his eyes. "Oh God, Frazuh." He rubs one long fingered hand over his eyes. "I am such a fuckup, such a fucking coward. I can't believe what ya just did." He opens his eyes. Fraser's eyes are calm and waiting, slightly shuttered. "Last night was amazing, I couldn't believe ya wanted it, wanted me. I thought ya were either in love with Vecchio or so straight ya'd throw up at the thought. I really didn't wanna mess up our friendship but I have thought about, dreamt about it, almost from the first day we met, wondering what yer skin tasted like, what noises ya would make. Oh man, then it happened and it was so fucking incredible but I woke up alone and I thought I knew what that meant."

"Oh, Ray. I should have known." And Fraser's mouth is on his, warm and soothing.

Kowalski winds his arms round Ben's waist, pushing his body hard against the solid warmth of his partner's body. He bites that lush lower lip and Ben's tongue sweeps into his mouth, rocketing the kiss from soothing to hot.

Shaking both men break apart.
"We can't do this here, Ben."
"I know, do you want to eat?"
"Na, let's get a Dief bag and go."

Neither of them speaks until they are in Kowalski's apartment. Dief is happily demolishing lasagna in the far corner and Ben is sitting on the sofa watching him pace up and down.

"Ben, I need yer to listen to me." Kowalski removed his suit jacket the minute he got home and he is pulling nervously at the untucked edge of his ice blue shirt.

"I am listening." Ben's voice is warm but his face is smooth and blank and Kowalski can't read him at all.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to con...conclusions. It's just that I've woken too many times on my own after thinking Stella and I were getting back together and I guess I just flipped."

"Ray, please don't beat yourself up about this. I was thoughtless, I should have..."

Kowalski stops pacing and stares at the upright figure on the couch and what he wanted to say no longer matters. He stands over the couch, one hand on Ben's arm. "We...um, we talk if you like but I can think of..."

"Something much better to do." Ben grasps his hand.

"Yer betcha."

Kowalski pulls Ben to his feet. "Did ya mean what ya said about me making love to ya?" Did ya Ben?"

Fraser closes his eyes, his hips jutting forward involuntarily. "Oh yes, Ray." Ray smiles slowly, his eyes darkening. "'Cos' I do wanna ya know. I wanna fuck ya so badly." Ray's voice is soft, much softer than his words.

Fraser feels his knees loosen and he is not at all sure he can walk as far as the bedroom. "Oh God, Ray," he pants out.

"Easy, Ben, easy." Ray turns him into his arms and runs soothing hands down his back.

Fraser presses a kiss onto the clean line of Ray's jaw. "Take me to bed, Ray."

Kowalski draws in a deep breath and leads his partner to the bedroom. He releases his grasp on Ben's arm and starts to unbutton his shirt. He can't risk his hands on Ben or Ben's on him just yet. Ben sits on the bed watching him. "Switch on the lamp, Ray."

Kowalski reaches back and flicks the switch, his open shirt twisting free of the loose waistband of his pants. He can feel Ben's eyes on him as slips the shirt off his shoulders. "Hey, not fair, how about ya taking some clothes off."

Ben nods and pulls his Henley over his head, before sliding his jeans and boxers down his long legs. Kowalski pauses with one hand on his zipper, staring at the flex of muscle under smooth white skin. Ben's eyes meet his and he rapidly strips off the rest of his clothing. He pushes Ben back on bed, straddling his hips. The shock of Ben's hot smooth skin against his inner thighs forces a groan from deep in his chest. He bends down to kiss him. His mouth is hard, almost brutal against the hot silk of Ben's mouth.

Ray nips at his lower lip, leaning his full weight against Fraser's body, pushing him into the mattress. His hot breath trails over the pale skin of Fraser's neck raising the hairs all over his body. The hard rocking movements of his hips against Fraser's own are sending bright flashes of heat through him. His partner's teeth are fastening against his neck and he can only arch into the nipping brands. That hot sharp mouth moves down, testing the lines of his chest. The slick length of Ray's tongue soothing his path to Fraser's nipples, the teeth are gentle there but the heat is still building. Fraser's hands slip down the sleek sides, his fingers digging into the lean lines of Ray's hips, pushing him harder against himself.

Ray lifts his head; his mouth swollen and damp. His slivery eyes glitter as he stares down at Fraser. Fraser nods; watching him avidly as he stretches across to the bedside table and rummages in the drawer. Fraser traces his nails down his wide, bony chest as he straightens again. Ray's smile widens, his golden skin gleaming in the shadowed room.

Kowalski shudders as he rolls the condom down over himself, even the sure steady touch of his own hand is almost too much. His chest heaves as he draws air into lungs over and over. Just keep breathing man. Finally he is sure he can speak.

"Ya want this Ben? Tell me ya want this?" His voice is husky and soft and it only just doesn't shake. He sits back on his feet between Ben's sprawled legs. "Tell me Ben." He runs one lean fingered hand along the length of Ben's well-muscled thigh, loving the jump and twitch he gets in response.

Ben's eyes are wide and dark as smoke. He nods his head, "Oh God, yes Ray!"

Kowalski has never heard his voice like that, husky, wanton and needy. He closes his eyes against the surge of lust that threatens to finish this before it starts. He pushes one of Ben's legs so that it bends at the knee and fumbles with the small tube. He pushes a slick finger into the tight warmth of his lover's body, relaxing, smoothing, and coating him. Ben twists and thrusts back against his touch. He slips a second finger into that intense heat, hooking his fingers over the small nub of his prostate.

"Ray." Ben wails, thrusting back against his fingers, his chest flushed and moving with his rapid breathing. "Please."

"Ssh, almost ready." He slips a third finger into the tight channel, and Ben's hips are shifting back against his fingers. Kowalski shivers, he is never gonna last. He slides his fingers out, wrapping the remnants of his control around himself.

"Turn over Ben." He smoothes a soothing hand down Ben's shaking side. He guides the trembling man into position with strong sure hands.

Fraser can feel the shocking heat of Ray's body against his back and breathing deeply he stiffens his shaking limbs. Ray's slim hands are stroking down over his chest and stomach barely touching him. Clever, sure fingers skimming the burning heat of his erection and gathering his balls before grasping the weight of his erection. His back arches up into Ray's warmth at the firm touch.

"Ray," his voice is a groan but it is enough.

He can feel the slick, smooth heat of Ray's cock pushing into him, slowly, surely. He pushes back against the first burning flash. His whole body is shaking with the extreme mixture of pleasure and pain. He is gasping, the air dry and tight in his chest. Ray is holding still, waiting for him to adjust. The shake and tremble of his fingers against Fraser's hips his only movement.

Ray slides his slick upper body forward over Fraser's back. "Still with me." His words buzz against Fraser's neck.

"Oh yes." Fraser is amazed that he can talk, let alone so steadily.

Kowalski pulls back and pushes forward, freezing slightly at the harsh gasping moan Ben squeezes out.

"It's alright." Ben turns his head, a small smile curving his swollen mouth. "I dreamt about you doing this."

Kowalski's hips slam forward over and over, his heart twisting in his chest, he can feel Ben bracing to meet him. "Oh Christ, Ben."

His thrusts are smooth and long, his fingers digging cruelly into Ben's hips. He can't stop this now. Ben is moving back against him, his rhythm sharp and urgent, winding the pace up. He slips one hand round the curve of Ben's body to rub and pull at his bursting cock, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. Ben's long back is arching up, his hips driving impossibly faster. Kowalski tightens his grip on the slick length in his fingers, his heart hammering in his chest.

One, two more thrusts and Ben is wailing something that might have been his name, hot liquid pumping over his fingers. He pushes forward one last time, his cock releasing in a long staccato burst that seems to last forever. He collapses forward slightly, bracing on his shaking free arm. He lays his head on Ben's slick back for a moment, pulling air into his lungs. He raises his head shakily; Ben is watching him with smoky blue eyes.

"Ya ok there?" he manages to croak out.

"Never better, Ray."

Kowalski swallows past the rock in his throat and he forces his leaden limbs to flip them on to their sides. Ben groans as he slips free and he rubs a consoling hand along the slick, rose flushed shoulder. He props himself on one arm. Ben twists to face him.

"What is it Ray?" Ben's voice is gentle.

"Just that I love ya." He can't look at him, plucking at the sheets with nerveless fingers.

"Ray, look at me. Come on." Ben's hand is on his chin and he has no choice. Ben's lips are soft against his, a soothing kiss that eases the ache in this throat. "I love you so much. No-one has ever challenged or has ever got under my skin like you."

Kowalski puts a finger over Ben's mouth and when his partner stops talking, kisses him gently.

"Wanna take a shower?"

"That's sounds like a good plan."

Kowalski eases himself to his feet and holds out a hand to Ben, who straightens up with a wince. He winds his fingers through Ben's and leads him to the shower.

"Oh and Ray, I'll be here in the morning, when you wake up, if you want."

Kowalski presses him against the wall, just outside the bathroom and rubs his body along Ben's, loving the shiver he gets in reaction. He slants his mouth over Ben's in a deep hard kiss. "Oh I want ya here."