Author's disclaimer: The guys aren't mine but I sure wish they were.

Author's notes: Comments are always welcome.

Come Home
by: Jenny Hill

He had been back from his retreat to Florida a month when the opportunity came knocking at his door. It was a chance of a lifetime and after a little prodding from his new partner, he decided to take that leap of faith. He had nothing to lose at this point, only something to gain. What's that saying . . . "Nothing ventured, nothing gained?" He had to at least try because the not knowing was worse than the possibility of rejection.

"You have to let me go sir," Ray Vecchio, reinstated Detective first grade of the Chicago PD said as he paced in front of his commanding officer's desk.

With a trace of a mischievous smile, Lt. Welsh asked, "Please explain to me why it is I have to let 'you' go as you so politely put it." He enjoyed this, watching his best detective squirm. Sure he was going to let him go, Ray was the best candidate for the job but he also knew the ulterior motive behind Ray actually wanting to attend the conference and that was a fact Ray himself was clueless of.

Ray swallowed hard as he stopped his pacing and turned to face his lieutenant. "Because I'm the most qualified detective to go?" Ray said in an unsure almost questioning tone.

"That you are," Lt. Welsh agreed. Silence drew out between the two men when Welsh didn't continue.

Ray cleared his throat. "Sir?"

Lt. Welsh nodded his head and tried to ignore the broad smile spreading across his detective's face over the permission given. "Yes Vecchio, you can go but try not getting into too much trouble while you're up there."

"Trouble, sir?"

Lt. Welsh rolled his eyes at the innocence in those two words. "Yes Vecchio, you know the thing that normally happens when you two get together," Lt. Welsh elaborated.

"Understood sir." Ray turned to leave when Lt. Welsh stopped him.

"And Ray . . ."

"Yes sir?"

Lt. Welsch hesitated before continuing. He had suspected something was going on and what that something was never was really clear but he was pretty sure what he assumed it was, was true. "Make it count," he said with an uplifted, approving look.

"Sir?"

Clearing his throat, Lt. Welsh tried again. "Don't make this trip for nothing, okay?"

The bulb was flickering as Ray began to realize what his lieutenant was saying. "Yes sir . . . thank you sir." Ray turned again and exited the office with a smile on his face. The idea that Lt. Welsh understood and knew the importance of this trip was strange but the idea that he accepted and approved of this knowledge was elating. It was the closest Ray would get to fatherly approval and it was a good feeling.

Ray crossed the squad room to join his partner at their conjoined desks. "What did he say? Is he gonna let ya go?" Stan Kowalski, Ray's new partner, asked before Ray had a chance to sit down. Stan had returned to Chicago two months prior to Vecchio's own return and it had been a full year since all three men, Stan, Ray and Fraser, had fled Chicago for all the wrong reasons. There were so many wrong reasons to leave that no one could see the right reasons to stay.

Ray had a goofy little grin on his face as he finally replied, "Yeah . . . I leave tomorrow . . . I'm going to Canada." Ray said that last part with a little more enthusiasm than necessary and when the words he had spoken registered in his head Ray slouched forward cupping his head in his hands. "Oh God, I'm going to Canada." This time there was fear in his voice. He did not fear going to Canada but more the idea of not making it to his destination. "Oh God."

He was excited about this rare opportunity. Teaching skills was indeed a challenge but a challenge Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was surely up to tackling. The last time he had such an opportunity was a month before he was transferred to Chicago. It was a class of young first year recruits who were studying the finer points of tracking a criminal. With Fraser's track record, he was the most obvious candidate for the job and he enjoyed it immensely.

Now, this conference was a little different. Before, it was a group of young men and women who were in training, striving to be what Fraser already was. This time, it was a group of law enforcement officers from both Canada and the United States attending various seminars revolving around the differences and similarities of the two countries' laws and how to make them work to unite in a common goal. Fraser was to give a lecture about working in the States from a Canadian viewpoint as he had first hand experience and knowledge in that type of situation.

In preparing for his part of the conference, reviewing his own personal journals was step one and in reviewing these journals, a feeling of homesickness began to creep in. Fraser found that odd, seeing he was home or as close as he was going to get to home. He knew why he felt this way though. It was more than apparent. The one person who was mentioned at least once on every page of his journals was no longer a constant part of his everyday life.

Fraser buckled his belt and straightened his brown uniform jacket. The whimper from behind him drew his attention away from the closet door mirror. Diefenbaker was sitting behind Fraser with his head cocked to one side. "Dief, I know you miss him . . . I miss him too but we all have separate lives now." Diefenbaker grumbled. "Dief . . . you were able to adjust when we were posted to Chicago, I'm certain you missed the Territories then . . . this is no different." Diefenbaker grumbled again, not buying Fraser's logic. "Okay, so you adjusted better to Chicago but he spoiled you." Fraser frowned at his own comment. "He spoiled us both."

Fraser cleared his restricting throat and turned to take one last look at himself in his apartment's mirror. Everything was in place, from his unruly hair to the brass buttons on his uniform jacket. Fraser reached for his "Good Luck Charm," placing it in his pocket where he always carried it and turned to round up his wolf. "Come on Dief . . . let's go, before we are late."

He chose to sit in the back of the conference room only because he wasn't ready to face Fraser for their first encounter yet. There were quite a few people in the room, more than Ray had anticipated but the more people present, the easier it would be for Ray to blend into the crowd. The easier it would be for him to hide.

The seminar began as all seminars do, the first speaker introduced himself, informed them on what he was going to be speaking about and asked that all questions be held until the end. Suffice to say the first part of the day was boring in Ray's opinion. Okay, on a normal day it might have been a little interesting but Ray's mind wasn't on the subject at hand rather it wandered. Ray's mind was off somewhere else, thinking about someone else.

They broke for lunch and luckily for Ray, Fraser was no where to be seen. Ray kept to himself during their free period, trying to think about what he would say once he confronted his best friend for the first in time more than a year and a half.

When everyone returned to the conference room, their next speaker wasn't to be seen. Everyone took their seats, most people occupying the same chair they used during the first half of the day. Ray, once again, sat in the back of the room, waiting for his first glimpse of his friend but Fraser wasn't the first person he saw, or being as the case may be. Diefenbaker trotted into the room first, his appearance accompanied by a few gasps and some cooing. Ray smiled broadly as he watched Diefenbaker do what he did best and that was beg for attention.

Ray was so mesmerized by the wolf's presence that he didn't even notice Fraser enter the room until he heard a commanding voice call after the wolf. "Diefenbaker!" But it was a fruitless effort. The wolf had a mind of his own and a mission to meet and greet everyone there. At least that is what Fraser assumed his task was but truthfully, Diefenbaker was looking for their friend.

"Good afternoon everyone, my name is Sergeant Benton Fraser and I am a member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. This afternoon, I will be discussing with you my experiences with working in a foreign country and with their law enforcement. I do ask that all questions be held until the end and I will gladly answer any and all at that time." Fraser set his Stetson on the desk, returned his attention to the people gathered and began his lecture.

The lecture went on and it was long yet to Ray, the four hours passed like it had only been one. It was wonderful to hear all the stories he remembered himself and in addition to the anecdotes from their partnership, there were the stories from the time period Fraser had been Stan Kowalski's partner. To be able to get a birds eye view as to what went on while he was away undercover was a treat for Ray. During the entire lecture, once the wolf found his man, Diefenbaker lay down and sat patiently next to Ray's chair.

When the question and answer period was over, it was going on six in the evening. Everyone was ready to go and when Fraser called the day over, most people booked for the door. A few people lingered with a couple more questions, all of which Fraser happily answered.

Fraser was standing with his back to the conference room as he completed his conversation with the final person in line and when she left, he sighed audibly and stretched his back. It had been a long day, which started with a four hours drive into town and wouldn't be over for at least another four hours drive back to his apartment.

"Excuse me but I have a question," a voice from his past spoke up in the silent room.

"Yes," Fraser prompted for the person to continue without turning around.

Ray began walking towards the front in an effort to join his friend. Diefenbaker happily trotted along side him. "Have ya been able to break the wolf's junk food habit, yet?"

The wolf in question bounded happily in front of his re-united friends. Fraser could see the uplifted spirits in the wolf and he could feel those same spirits within himself as well. "Ray, why are you here?"

Ray shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know . . . it's my job to attend these kind of functions. Is that so hard to believe?"

"No . . . I'm just surprised that you would even want to come to Canada. You were always more partial to Florida or some other warm destination," Fraser explained.

"Benny, I've lived in Florida. I have the pictures. I don't need or want to go back any time soon, okay?" Ray paused before he continued. "Anyway, I thought this might be a good opportunity for me to . . . ah . . . to see Canada, ya know, give the country I hate a second chance."

Fraser was nodding his head, understanding Ray's reasoning. "Canada is a wonderful country, Ray . . . once you get to know it."

"Yeah Benny, I'm learning that," Ray said as they approached Fraser's Jeep. "So, where are you headed to?"

Fraser knew very well where he was going but all could say was, "I don't know?"

Ray smiled, "Hey, ya hungry?" Diefenbaker perked up at the words he read off of Ray's lips but neither man noticed the wolf's interest. "I'd say I know this great Chinese place around the corner but I don't. We could go get something to eat, catch up on what's been going on in our lives. What do ya say?"

"Ray?"

"Yeah Benny?"

"I know this great Chinese restaurant around the corner."

"That was the best tasting birds nest soup I've had in a long time," Ray announced as he pushed his empty bowl aside. "We're gonna have to come back here more often."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it Ray but I don't see how we can come here more often... you live in Chicago and I live in Regina." Fraser pushed his own soup aside, waiting for Ray's response.

"I'm just saying it was good, that's all, Geez. Do ya have to read into everything I say?"

"I'm sorry Ray . . . "

Ray held up a hand to silence his friend. "It's okay Benny . . . do you realize how long it's been since you've annoyed me like that?"

The Mountie blushed slightly and replied, "Far too long."

"So Benny, whatcha been up to?" Ray asked as he relaxed against the back of his chair.

"Well Ray, as you know, Ray . . . I mean Stan and I went looking for the Hand of Franklin. I would say it was an unsuccessful venture since we didn't find it but I don't believe it was."

"What do you mean Benny?" Ray asked.

Playing with his food, Fraser contemplated his response. "I don't know . . . I think our adventure brought us closer together, as friends. It cemented our bond of friendship very much like our own friendship," Fraser said as he gestured back and forth between himself and Ray with his hand to emphasize his point.

"What, do you mean he's your best friend too?"

Fraser shook his head adamantly. "No Ray, all I'm saying is we've come to a better understanding of ourselves and our relationship with each other. You will always be my best friend Ray but I do have room in my life for other close friends . . . don't you agree?"

"Well, yeah, you can never have too many friends . . . I just thought you and I had a . . . special kind of . . . " Ray trailed off his words, trying to think of the right thing to say. Nothing was coming to mind that wouldn't have his heart sitting on a platter in the middle of the table so he remained quiet.

Fraser cocked his head to one side in much the same manor as Ray had seen Diefenbaker do and asked, "Special kind of what, Ray?"

Ray straightened in his seat and wiped his mouth with his napkin, lacking anything better to do in order to distract the inquisitive Mountie. "Nothing, we're just really good friends . . . best friends to be exact and I just don't feel like sharing that title with anyone else, that's all."

Fraser smiled and offered a little laugh as he placed a reassuring hand on Ray's shoulder. "Ray, I hope you realize there is no one who can come close to competing with you for that title."

Ray returned the smile shyly with a slight blush that Fraser could barely see in the dimness of the lighting in the restaurant. "I do now."

Fraser gave Ray a final shake of his shoulder and released his hold. "I'm glad," he said, returning to his food. "So Ray, how was Florida?"

Ray shrugged his shoulders as he began moving his own food around on his plate. "Well, you know Benny, Florida's Florida: sunny skies, sandy beaches and tons of senior citizens who love to bowl."

"You didn't like it?" Fraser questioned, not understanding Ray's melancholy. As far as he could remember, Florida had been a place Ray talked about visiting ever since the two of them had met. The only problem was every time Ray had a chance to go, Fraser always seemed to get in the way and Ray never made it.

"It's not that I didn't like it Benny, Florida was great for a while but I was missing something," Ray replied as he looked straight at Fraser, trying to convey the meaning behind his words. But he could see that the Mountie wasn't picking up on it or it was just simply being ignored.

Fraser darted his eyes away from Ray's stare and cleared his throat as he set his fork down. Looking at his watch, he said, "I hate to do this but it's getting late Ray and I have to report to work very early in the morning so. . ."

"Yeah, yeah, I know . . . time doesn't seem to be our friend Benny. Wouldn't you agree?" Ray asked as he reached for their check out of habit.

Fraser also reached for the check but he ended up grabbing Ray's hand instead. Fraser smiled at his friend and gave that hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry about the check Ray, I will get it."

Ray wouldn't release the bill. "No Benny, I've got it."

"Ray, I will pay for our meals, it's the least I can do," Fraser reiterated, still holding Ray's hand, waiting for him to give up.

"You don't have to Benny," Ray protested as he reached for his wallet with his free hand.

Fraser's other hand appeared and grabbed Ray's moving one before he could get his wallet out. "Ray! I will take care of this, okay? Please let me this time."

When Ray looked into Fraser's eyes, he couldn't say, "no." He could never refuse that look so Ray released his hold of the check and Fraser released Ray's hands. "Thank you kindly, Ray."

Ray laughed at those words. "You're thanking me? I should be thanking you," Ray said as he stood up, shaking his head.

The drive back to the hotel wasn't a long drive and all Ray was praying for was a few minutes longer. He knew that once they arrived and Fraser had fulfilled his duty as Mountie and friend, he would pull away from the curb as Ray did so many nights before back in Chicago, never to discuss the unspeakable. Never to discuss what Ray had traveled all this way for.

The scenario went as Ray expected with one catch, the ever so polite Mountie offered to walk Ray to his hotel room. Ray's prayers were answered. It was an offer Ray couldn't refuse for it gave him a few more minutes with the man who was and always would be his best friend, partner and the love of his life. It gave Ray a few more minutes to get up the nerve to say something, anything to Fraser.

As both men exited the vehicle, Diefenbaker followed Ray out and on past him towards the entrance. "Hey Dief, I don't know if this place allows animals," Ray protested as he watched the wolf prance up to the doors and waited for an offered entrance.

"Ray, it's all right, they know me here and Diefenbaker is always a welcomed guest," Fraser commented as he walked around the jeep to join Ray on the other side. "I don't know how he does it but he pulls on the heartstrings of everyone he meets and they fall for it." Both men stood next to the jeep watching the wolf who was anticipating their next move.

Ray laughed at Fraser's comment. "Kind of like a certain Mountie I know."

"What do you mean Ray?" Fraser asked looking clueless as ever.

"Augh," Ray groaned as he shook his head walking towards the hotel entrance. "Never mind Benny, let's just get inside."

Fraser followed Ray in and the wolf abandoned the two men once inside, taking residence behind the courtesy desk with the night desk clerk. "Good evening Sarah," Fraser greeted as they passed on their way to the elevators.

"Good evening Sergeant Fraser," Sarah returned the greeting. "Do you mind if Diefenbaker stays here to keep me company?"

Fraser and Ray both smiled. "No Sarah, that is fine. He enjoys his visits with you, you know that."

Sarah beamed a smile back at Fraser. "Thank you, sir."

Fraser and Ray completed their walk to the elevators and entered the first car that arrived. "Nothing ever changes, does it Benny?" Ray asked as the doors shut and he pushed his floor's button.

"What do you mean Ray?"

"You knowing everyone and his brother, wherever you go. How many people do you know anyway, a million?" Ray asked with a little sarcasm that was just Ray being Ray.

"Now Ray, that's just silly," Fraser replied without really answering the question at hand.

"Yeah but you do know it's true. You know so many people that you can't even keep track of how many it is you know, right?" Ray probed.

Fraser was quiet for a few seconds, slightly embarrassed by the fact that Ray was right. "I don't believe it is necessary to keep track of all the people I know . . . I mean what would that prove?"

"I don't know . . . maybe that half or even three quarters of them are actually just strangers," Ray offered.

Fraser was slightly offended by that comment and when he was about to rebound with his own response, Ray beat him to the punch.

"There's nothing wrong with that Benny, it's just that you keep all these people you know on one level . . . ya know?" Ray wasn't even sure he knew what he was trying to say but he did know he had to continue. Ray had but a few moments to get his point across before he lost his chance and had to return home empty handed and with an empty heart.

Fraser looked at Ray with the clueless look again which Ray was certain was only a ruse but he could never really tell or prove that fact. "Ray, I don't understand."

"Benny . . . okay, here's an example: you know me and you know Sarah, the night desk clerk at a hotel in a town you don't even live in, right?" Ray asked.

"Of course Ray," Fraser replied.

"Okay, you've known me for over four years. We've been partners for two and a half, risking our lives and nearly getting killed more times than I care to remember. You are my best friend and yet you regard me and Sarah equally . . . do you know what I'm saying now?" Ray asked as he finished his thought.

"Are you jealous of Sarah, Ray?"

"Fraser!" Ray exclaimed as the doors of the elevator opened up. Ray exited and Fraser followed. Both stopped right outside the elevator doors and Ray turned to continue his conversation. "No, I'm not jealous of the night desk clerk. . . you don't understand do you? You seriously don't understand."

"No Ray, I don't . . . I'm sorry," Fraser apologized for what he knew not.

"Never mind, it's nothing," Ray said as he began his walk towards his room with Fraser following in a cloud of confusion.

"Ray, is something wrong?" Fraser asked.

"Wrong, why would anything be wrong? I only traveled up here for a conference I could truly careless about being at just to visit with you," Ray explained as he began searching his wallet for his room's key-card.

"Are you saying . . . "

"Yes Benny, I'm saying the only reason I am here is because of you," Ray completed Fraser's thought as he produced his key-card. "I would never travel here for a stupid conference . . . you should know that by now."

"I'm sorry Ray . . . I didn't realize."

"Yeah well, now ya know. I don't think you were supposed to realize anything. I wanted to surprise you," Ray said as he turned to look at Fraser. "Did I surprise you Benny?"

Fraser nodded his head as he replied, "Yes Ray, you did."

And that was that. There was nothing left to be said and the silence was being drawn out longer than Ray liked it to have. "So Benny . . . you wanna come in or do you have to go?" Fraser stood next to Ray balancing back and forth on his right and left foot, thinking about his response. "Benny?"

"Ray, I really should be going . . . It's getting very late and I have a four hours drive back to my apartment so . . ."

Ray saved Fraser from any further explanation. "I understand Benny, that's okay . . . I will see you again before I leave, won't I?"

"I don't know Ray."

Ray nodded his head. "Okay Benny, I understand. I guess I'll see ya when I see ya then." Ray unlocked his door and entered without really saying good bye, leaving a speechless Fraser in the silence of the hallway.

He didn't remember the walk back through the corridor the way they had come or even pushing the button to summons the elevator car. When he entered the contraption and the doors slid shut, it felt like his world was closing around him. This wasn't the way it was suppose to go. Granted, he hadn't expected to see Ray so soon or at all but that didn't keep him from imagining what would happen when he did. Fraser had dreamed of days, spent entirely in bed, wrapped in the arms of the person he loved. Days where all he did was take inventory of his lover's body.

When the elevator doors slid open at the lobby level, Fraser exited and turned to watch the doors close behind him, symbolizing the final cut off from his friend and that was unsettling to the Mountie. Fraser knew once he left this town and Ray returned to Chicago, they would never see each other again. That was how life was or at least their lives. He knew this just as he knew he loved the man he left on the 18th floor and always would.

Fraser had loved Ray for as long as he could remember; so long he couldn't even pin point the exact moment when his best friend and partner became his hopeful lover. Another thing Fraser knew was that Ray loved him too. He could read that in his friend's eyes the last time they had talked in the hospital, before Fraser went traipsing up into Canada hunting down his mother's killer. He knew that because Ray loved him enough to let him go. That act was proof enough that Ray loved him but was he willing to act upon that love?

It couldn't end this way.

It couldn't end this way.

The pacing began the moment he was enclosed in his hotel room, away from Fraser; away from the person he loved more than anyone else before; away from the reason he was there in the first place. He had traveled too far to let it just end this way. Ray was out the door before he even knew what he was doing.

He was nearly to the end of the hallway when he heard his own hotel door shut but then also heard another door open. Out of instinct and curiosity that was inbred in him from being a cop for over a decade, Ray turned to see who was there.

Fraser couldn't wait for the elevator to return. He turned, headed passed the lobby check in desk and on to the stairwell. Diefenbaker noticed his companion's movements and got up to follow him. Fraser was so dedicated to his mission that he didn't even notice the lupine's company.

He bounded up the stairs two and three at a time and once he made it to the floor Ray's room was on, he was out of breath but he continued on. When he opened the door that led to his destination, it was then that he was aware of Diefenbaker's presence when the wolf squeezed passed him and pranced his way down the hall. Fraser followed behind his wolf and around the corner.

"Ray?" Fraser queried as he turned the corner to find his friend stooped down affectionately greeting the wolf.

Ray turned his attention to his approaching friend and smiled. "I thought you had to go?"

"I did . . . do . . . I do . . ." And for some reason, Fraser was now feeling slightly shy around his best friend.

"Oh, did Diefenbaker get away from you?" Ray asked as he stood up.

Fraser looked down at his wolf then back at his friend. "Ray . . ."

Ray stepped around Diefenbaker and closer to his friend. "Yeah Benny?"

Fraser didn't say another word. He reached a hand up and placed it on Ray's cheek, resting his thumb at the corner of his mouth. It was now or never and Fraser couldn't stand the forever of never. He brought his other hand up to rest on the side and back of Ray's neck and as he moved his thumb away from Ray's mouth, Fraser leaned in to kiss the exposed area. When he pulled away, the look on Ray's face was breathtaking. Ray had a small, loving smile that shown on his lips and in his eyes, that emotion radiated.

Ray cupped Fraser's face in his hands and pulled him in for another kiss that wasn't as chaste as the first one. All their suppressed emotions surfaced, taking over any actions they may have been able to control previously. It wasn't until Fraser had Ray pressed up against the wall in the hotel corridor, trying desperately to get closer to the person he cared for most in life that the reality of what they were doing dawned and he quickly pulled himself away.

Ray slacked against the wall, in need of Fraser's support as he tried to catch his breath. "Wow."

Fraser stood in front of him. He was unable to keep himself from blushing with his head bowed in a self-admonishing manor. "I'm sorry Ray."

Ray straightened himself on his own two feet and took hold of Fraser's shoulders. "Sorry for what, Benny?"

"I'm sorry that I don't seem to be myself tonight," Fraser said trying to explain away his wanton behavior.

Ray smiled at the politeness of his friend and began taking step after step towards him until it was Fraser who was pressed up against the opposite wall. Ray's face hovered ever so closely in front of Fraser's, his lips barely brushing his right cheek, then his lips and then his left cheek until their trail ended and he whispered into Fraser's ear, "Are you sure of that?" Fraser's head leaned into the words as a kiss was placed on his ear and he shook his head in answer to Ray's question. "What do you want, Benny?" It was a question with a million possible answers but Ray was only looking for one and he hoped it was the one Fraser was going to give.

Ray pulled away from Fraser to look him in the eye. If anything, Fraser could never lie but if he tried, Ray would be able to see though it by just looking into his eyes. Fraser cleared his throat to answer Ray again. "You." A smile and a loving embrace rewarded his answer.

"Come on Benny, let's go back to my room. We can get much more privacy there because I think there are some things we need to discuss," Ray said as he took hold of Fraser's hand and began leading him to his room.

"Ray, I do have to . . ."

Ray cut Fraser of with an abrupt stop and a hand placed over his mouth. "Benny, I'm not ready to let you go yet, okay?" Slowly, Fraser nodded his head. "Good." Ray removed his hand from Fraser's mouth and continued leading him to his room.

Upon entering the hotel room, any and all thought of discussion flew out the window once the door was closed and securely bolted. There was a moment of concern by the Mountie over leaving his wolf unattended in the hallway but that was quickly forgotten when skillful, slender fingers began removing his belt and then moved onto the uniform itself.

The wolf sat patiently outside the hotel room door. It had been hours since the two men entered the room and the brash one refused him entrance. Diefenbaker accepted this denial because he was happy to see his two pack mates back together.

Diefenbaker reclined in front of the door, resting his head on his front paws and sighed as he closed his eyes. It was pointless to wait up any longer.

Fraser slowly extricated himself from the bed and his new lover's arm. This was one thing, had anyone told him earlier in the day was going to happen, he would've laughed out loud and uncontrollably at the absurdity of the notion. There was no way he could've guessed the day's outcome and yet, he wouldn't change it for the world.

Quietly, Fraser began dressing, putting on each article of clothing as he found them on a path towards the door. When he was down to the last items of his uniform jacket and belt, Fraser carried them over to the chair in front of the room's only window and draped them across the chair's back. He wasn't ready to leave and if he had a choice - he wouldn't but he never did have any control over his life. His duty ran that and wherever duty went, so did he.

It was his duty that led him to Chicago and to the man still sleeping in the room's bed and it was duty that led him away from Chicago and that same man as well. Both men's lives were run by duty. Ray was the only one of the two who fought against his duty's pull. It was Ray's fight against duty that brought them to this point and Fraser was grateful that at least one of them had the strength to go against the tide.

Pulling the curtains back in order to get a look outside, Fraser was surprised to see how dark was still. It seemed like he had been there forever but in reality, only a few hours had passed. It was just after 2:00 a.m. and pitch black out with only a few streetlights lighting the small town. If he left for his home, he would barely make it back in time to report for duty in the morning. Duty, he was beginning to hate that word and its meaning.

The sound of the sheets rustling pulled Fraser's attention away from the window and his thoughts. The sight of his lover, trying to wake up was breathtaking. "Good morning, Ray."

Ray stretched and rubbed his eyes. "Morning? Is it morning already?" Ray asked as his eyesight rested on a nearly fully dressed Fraser.

"Well, technically Ray, yes but actually it's only 2:18 am so it would appear to be night time to you still. You should go back to sleep, Ray. You still have one more day of lectures to go before you leave," Fraser said as he crossed back through the room and sat down on the bed next to Ray.

Ray snorted at the thought of actually attending the lectures. "Screw the conference Benny. I'd rather spend my remaining time with you." Ray sat up and wrapped his arms around Fraser, embracing him from behind.

"Ray . . . I have to go to work so you might as well attend the lectures as you promised Lt. Welsh you would." Fraser was being too logical for his own good.

"Oh no you don't," Ray protested as he let go and turned Fraser so he could look at him. "You're not gonna turn my life upside-down and run away. This I won't allow. I'm not just a one night stand . . . "

Fraser quieted him with his own lips and when he pulled away, Ray was left speechless. "Ray, you are not a one night stand. I would never do that to you. I love you."

Ray relaxed at those uttered words. There was a surprised look on his face when he questioned, "Really?"

Fraser took hold of Ray's hands. "Ray, you're the person I've been searching for my whole life. You're my equal; the other half of my heart; the other part of my soul and I don't deserve you. Loving you is so easy for me to do and yet it scares me to death. I can't live with out you and yet the thought of having you terrifies me."

Ray shook his head. "Benny, you and I could go back and forth here saying 'I don't deserve you' and 'you don't deserve me.' This argument could be endless but the truth is as you said - you are my equal. If we love each other, that is good enough. We deserve that, love. Don't you agree?" Fraser nodded his head, unable to voice his agreement. "I do love ya Benny. I always have and I always will."

Fraser nodded again as Ray placed a hand on his cheek. The tears were inevitable and uncontrollable. "Shhh, Benny, don't cry." Ray leaned in and began kissing Fraser in an effort to stop his tears from flowing. When Ray pulled away, it was Fraser who was reluctant to let his lips go which meant the kiss did its job. "So, Benny, ya wanna play hooky today?" Ray asked as he lay back down, staring up at his lover.

"Ray . . . that would truly be irresponsible of me, wouldn't it?" Fraser actually had a hard time saying those words. If anything, he would give anything to be able to do nothing more than spend the day with Ray and if that day was spent entirely in bed, so be it.

"Benny, how many sick days 'do' you have, one hundred?" Ray challenged.

"One hundred and twenty-four to be exact, Ray."

"And you can't call off for one day?" There was a pleading look on Ray's face. It was a look that made Fraser feel guilty about not jumping at the chance to spend a day with him.

"You want to spend the entire day with me?" Fraser asked, sounding as if he didn't believe Ray.

"Actually, I want to spend the entire day with you - never leaving this room if possible," Ray clarified as he ran a hand up and down Fraser's bare arm.

Fraser placed a hand over Ray's, stopping its movement on his arm. "Ray, I will make you a deal," Fraser offered.

Ray perked up at the suggestion of a deal. "Yeah?"

"I will let you skip your lectures, as long as you won't get in trouble," Fraser began.

Ray shook his head in confirmation of his not getting in trouble. Lt. Welsh knew the real reason he wanted to go to Canada and it wasn't to learn anything about how the two different countries handled law-enforcement. He already knew all there was to know about that.

"Accompany me back to Regina. I can check in for a few hours and then I'm yours for the remainder of the day." Fraser was quite pleased with this deal. Not only would he get to spend more time with Ray but he could also show Ray around the town he was now living in. Fraser knew he wouldn't be staying there much longer and he figured this might be his only opportunity to show off a little of the town he currently referred to as "home."

Ray pulled his hand away and stuck it out. "Deal."

Fraser smiled and took hold of the hand, shaking it but pulled Ray up to seal the deal with a kiss.

"Come on Ray," Fraser said as he stood up. "We will have to leave shortly if I plan on making back to Regina on time to report for duty."

"Now?" Ray asked in a disbelieving manor.

"Yes, Ray. It is a four hours drive back and if we leave now, we should make it back there around seven." Fraser turned to go back to the chair and put on his uniform jacket and belt.

"Benny, it's pitch black out. You want me to get dressed and pack up for a four hour drive, now?"

"Ray, a deal is a deal."

Ray rolled his eyes as he collapsed back on the bed, defeated.

Eight hours later, after a four hours drive back to Regina and then another two and a half hours of R.C.M.P. work for Fraser, the two new lovers found themselves back in bed exploring the new territory that was off limits to them both but only a day ago. When Fraser fell asleep after being without sleep since his original drive to the conference, Ray slipped from the bed trying not to wake his lover. Ray was wide-awake, having slept the entire drive to Regina and a majority of the morning; sleep wouldn't come for him until later that night. Ray pulled on his clothes (slacks and a sweater), motioned for Diefenbaker to follow him out of the bedroom and closed the door behind them so any noises they might make wouldn't disturb Fraser.

Laughing to himself, Ray took in the sights of the apartment and wasn't surprised to find it wasn't much different than the apartment the Mountie had occupied back in Chicago. Okay, so it was located in a better part of town but Ray pretty much figured any part of any town in Canada was better than the part of town apartment 3J on West Racine was located. It was still as bare as ever, just waiting for it's current occupant to back up and leave at the drop of a pin. That was something Ray was counting on.

It was a three-room apartment: kitchen/dinning/living room, bedroom and bathroom. There was a couch in the living room area, a small kitchen table with two chairs, normal kitchen appliances and a lamp. The main item that drew his attention was the bookshelf on the wall right outside the bedroom door. It was packed with books Ray couldn't even imagine reading but knew was where Fraser got all his useless "Mountie" knowledge. As Ray scanned the titles he came to one shelf that held two collections that were of interest. The first set of books weren't really books but the journals of Fraser's father and the second collection were Fraser's own journals.

The temptation was too great. Ray settled himself on the couch, turned the lamp on and opened the journal that began with the death of Robert Fraser. He was so engrossed in re-reading history that he didn't realized the time that had passed was hours, not minutes. When he felt the now familiar arms wrap around him from behind, Ray jumped but relaxed quickly, knowing it was Fraser.

Fraser leaned over the back of the couch, trying to see what Ray was up to. "What are you doing, Ray?"

Ray took on the Mountie's reaction of blushing out of embarrassment of being caught. "I'm sorry Benny, I wasn't tired and when I saw them . . . " Ray gestured towards the bookshelf, " . . . I couldn't help myself . . ."

Fraser tightened his embrace. "Ray, you don't need to apologize. I haven't written anything in those journals that I don't want you to know. If you don't read them, who will?"

Ray closed the journal he had been reading. "Hey Benny?"

"Yes Ray?"

Ray swallowed before he continued. "Did you really think I was beautiful when you first saw me in the holding cells?" Ray asked shyly, almost embarrassed for wanting to know.

Fraser placed a kiss on Ray's ear and whispered, "Yes, very much so." And Fraser could finally remember when it was he first fell in love with the detective. It was when they first met; love at first sight.

Ray shivered with pleasure at hearing the words. He had read them but couldn't believe them until Fraser verbally confirmed their meaning.

Fraser released his hold of Ray. "Ray, I have something for you." Fraser turned around and began searching the room for his uniform jacket that hand been discarded on their way to the bedroom. Once he found it, he reached into one of it's many pockets and pulled out the small item he had kept with him from the day he returned from vacation and realized his partner and best friend was gone. Fraser turned around to find Ray returning the journal to its proper place in chronological order on the shelf.

"What is it Benny?" Ray asked.

Fraser walked towards Ray, clutching the item in his hand. In a way he didn't want to give it back but he had promised himself he would. He originally was going to give it to Ray whenever it was he would return from his undercover assignment but when that time came, things got a little crazy and so out of control that he had forgotten. Then they both left and the opportunity was lost. Now he had a chance to make it right. "I've had this since I returned from my holiday in the territories," Fraser admitted.

A hurt and guilty feeling passed through Ray. To this day he felt guilt over leaving his friend like that, with no word of warning or explanation. No one deserved to be treated like that, least of all Fraser after all the losses in his life he had endured. "I'm sorry Benny," Ray apologized.

Fraser leaned forward and placed a peck on Ray's lips. "It's all right Ray. I was going to give this to you when you did finally return but . . . I forgot. So, when I came back here, it kind of became a good luck charm . . . I don't believe in such things bringing me luck but it has brought me you now . . . and that is a good thing, yes?"

Ray smiled and cupped Fraser's face in his hands and he kissed him, sucking gently at his lips. Pulling away, Ray replied, "Yes, that is a very good thing. I can't think of anything better."

Fraser held out his hand, fingers gripped around the small object, palm facing up and he slowly uncurled his fingers to reveal the item in question and he offered a long awaited apology. "I'm sorry about your car, Ray."

Ray reached for the item that took him seven, long, painstaking years to find and held it up to examine it. It had been through three Rivs, all engulfed in flames at one point and meeting untimely deaths. Three explosions and still it didn't look so bad. "You saved it?" Ray asked disbelieving.

Fraser nodded. "I couldn't save your car Ray . . . it was the only thing I could. When the Riviera exploded with Stan, Dief and myself inside . . . all I could think was how angry you would be with me."

Ray was still fingering the lighter. "Oh, Benny . . . I'm not angry." Ray's attention switched from his Riv's beloved lighter to his beloved lover. "I was never angry. I may not have acted as such but I care about your life much more than I ever cared about any of my cars. I hope you realize that."

Fraser smiled as he responded, "I do now." He enveloped Ray into a big bear hug causing Ray to sigh as he wrapped his own arms around Fraser.

"Hey Benny?"

"Yes Ray?"

Pulling his head back, Ray said, "I couldn't help but notice that your apartment is so . . . empty."

Panning his own apartment, Fraser noticed that for the first time Ray was right. Before, without Ray, the apartment was his apartment, not lacking anything. But now, with Ray there, he could see how lifeless it was before. Fraser's lack of a response caused Ray to continue his line of thinking.

"I was just wondering . . . if . . . if you might consider . . . come home with me Benny." He felt like he was walking a thin ice. One wrong move and it could collapse beneath them, separating them forever. Ray couldn't handle that; not after all he had done to get to this point.

"I don't know . . . "

Fear was the emotion registering in Ray's brain at that moment. It was fear of losing Fraser; fear of being alone; fear of losing the best thing that ever happened to him. "Is that a 'no,' I don't know or a 'I don't know,' I don't know?"

"I would have to say an 'I don't know,' I don't know. It's not that simple, Ray and God I wish it was." Fraser released his hold of Ray and walked to one of the windows in the small apartment.

"What's not simple? I love you. You love me. What else is needed?" Ray asked as he walked to stand by his lover.

"Ray, I can't just up and leave. I would have to put in for a transfer to Chicago and there's no guarantee that there is a position available for me there. I'm not just a Constable any more. I'm a Sergeant. Unless a Chief Liaison Officer is needed at the Consulate, there is no other position for me." Fraser looked heartbroken at the prospect of being separated from Ray and Ray felt the same way.

"Well, if this here is a good luck piece, "Ray said, indicating the Riv's lighter, "then we're just gonna have to trust it will bring us luck and we will have to be patient, won't we?"

"Yes Ray," Fraser replied with a little hope.

"And until you get your posting, we will just have to rely on weekends to carry us through," Ray said as he wrapped his arms around his lover.

"Ray . . . you hate it here . . ."

"Hey, I'm here aren't I?" Fraser nodded his head. "If it means being with you, I will travel anywhere. I love you."

Fraser leaned forward kissing Ray's forehead before returning the embrace. "I love you too, Ray."

"Anyway, I wouldn't always be coming here . . . you would visit Chicago too, right?"

Fraser had to laugh at that. Even though Ray was willing to travel anywhere to be with him, Canada or at least the travels to Canada still scared the man. "Most definitely Ray." Fraser took hold of Ray's hand and began leading him back to the bedroom. "Come on Ray, let's go back to bed."

Ray was a bit hesitant and protested. "Bed, I'm not even tired. I mean I slept all night and most of the morning . . ."

"Did I say anything about sleeping?" Fraser could see the light bulb flash brightly in Ray's head and his eyes widened with realization.

"Oh, in that case, last one in bed has to do the traveling first," Ray announced as he hurried past the Mountie. Fraser let Ray go, following him into the room at a slower pace and closing the door behind him. He had missed Chicago and the family he left behind greatly anyway. He was ready for a visit with the city that would eventually be his permanent home.

The End