Please contact me at perrymor@home.net

 by Amethyst
 
 

         Frannie glanced over at where Ray Kowalski was, for once, bent studiously over a report that he was attempting to finish, and sighed. They had been secretly dating for the past two months now and she had yet to get the man to take her to bed. They had done some heavy necking and petting in his car and on his sofa, but he always came up with an excuse when she tried to push for more. If it was any other man, she might be worried that he was gay, or he simply didn't find her attractive enough to want to make love to her, but this was Ray, her Ray and she could read him like a book. He was right about wearing his emotions on his sleeve, she saw her share of them in the nights they had spent together, saw how much he desired her, wanted her, but always he resisted, held back and it was quite frankly driving her crazy!
         She would occasionally catch him staring at her, but he would quickly look away and she was sure no one else really noticed. Ray would get that far off look in his eyes and it would take Fraser calling to him repeatedly before he responded, and everyone sort of expected him to do that now and then. She asked Ray once where he went when he did that and he shrugged. It wasn't that he really went anywhere, he would just be concentrating on something to hard and not hear what was going on around him. Frannie suspected Ray did it on purpose sometimes, just to aggravate Fraser, but she couldn't be sure, he did so many other things just to aggravate Fraser why would he add to it?
         Ray finally glanced up and caught her staring. He winked at her and she blushed, causing him to smile as he rose from his desk to deliver the report to Welsh. Ray had had roses delivered to her at work twice in the last couple of months, the first bouquet was white, the second yellow. She had already received a red bouquet from him with the small jar of Grey Poupon mustard hidden inside, after they had agreed to see each other privately. the mustard was their own private joke. With each bouquet Ray would tease her mercilessly about a new beau, because it was expected that he do so, and she would return the favor by ribbing him in return. The Ray/Frannie relationship had always added spark to the precinct's daily operation. Each getting on the other's nerves their causal and often heated banter a cause for great amusements for others, and so they kept to their rolls. However it was getting harder and harder to pretend anger with a man she loved so deeply.
         She watched Fraser walk by as he acknowledged her with a smile and a tip of his dark head. She returned the smile, somewhat relieved that her heart rate didn't quicken so much and her breathing remained normal as he passed. She was getting over him, with Ray's help, she would probably be over her infatuation of Fraser in no time, not that that was her reason for seeing Ray, she cared for him. It just helped knowing her true love for him was getting her over her fantasized realities of the Mountie. She sighed and turned back to her work. Tonight she would have Ray where she wanted him. She had memorized all his possible excuses and found a way to render them useless. Ray had given her a spare key, because his landlady just kept letting Francesca in anyway, so she would go there after work and wait for him. She suspected he would go out to eat with Fraser, he usually did, and so he would probably be home nine at the latest, as the Mountie liked to turn in early, giving her plenty of time to set things up. She glanced over at Ray talking animatedly to his partner and smiled.
 

         Ray chuckled as he inserted his key into his door and pushed it open, stepping inside with Fraser behind him.
         "I cannot believe you did that, Frase." He remarked closing the door behind them. "What possessed you challenge that gronk to an arm wrestling match?"
         "I did not challenge him, Ray." Fraser amended innocently. "He challenged me and I couldn't very well refuse." He smiled slightly. "My partner would loose all respect for me." Ray laughed again as he pulled of his outer shirt and began to unfasten his holster. "And I did win. Ray."
         "That you did, my friend." Ray agreed, then stopped suddenly as he realized music was softly playing around them. "What the hell?" He began, just as Francesca came out of his bedroom and smiled, wrapped in his robe.
         "Hiya Frase." She greeted calmly, she knew the Canadian was aware of their relationship.  "Hi Ray." Ray stared at her surprised.
         "Um...Frannie." He stammered. "W..what are you doin' here this time of night?"
         "It's our anniversary, Ray." She commented coming over to  give him an inviting hug.
         "I'll see you tomorrow, Ray." Fraser extended graciously. "Have a good evening Francesca." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
         "I intend to Frase." She commented and Ray suddenly disentangled himself from her.
         "I'll, ah..drive ya home Fraser."
         "Quite all right, Ray." The Mountie deflected calmly. "It's a nice evening for a walk I shan't mind the exercise." Ray followed him back toward the door.
        "I really think I should drive ya Fraser." He implored and Fraser hid a smile.
        "Don't be such a coward, Ray." He whispered teasing, then opened the door. "Good night Ray." Ray stared at the closed door and  tried to quell the urge to run after his friend. Dirty rat! Deserting him like this, he'd get even. Finally he turned back to Francesca.
        "So..um...ya shoulda told me ya were comin' I woulda been home sooner." He commented moving to extract a soda from the fridge. Francesca approached him and wrapped her arms around him from behind, smiling. The hell he would have come home, she thought, he would have run in the opposite direction. She ran her hands over his body until she found the tail of his shirt, then delved her hands inside to touch warm skin.
        "Yer here now." She purred. "And it's yer lucky night, Kowalski."
        "I..it is?" he asked a little confused. She nodded and allowed him to turn around so she could cuddle against his chest.
       "Yep. You and me. Your bed. O-ten O'clock hours." Ray smirked.
        "Ya mean twenty two hundred hours, Frannie." He corrected and she shrugged.
        " Ten, twenty, thirty, whatever." She sighed pressing against him, her hands slipping out of his shirt and moving for his belt. "Let's just get it up." Ray blushed and grinned at the same time, how could he not at that goofy statement?
        "Get it on." He offered and she nodded eagerly.
        "On, in, up out, whatever let's just do it." She anticipated his movement sideways and moved with him. He moved back as did she and he chuckled.
        "If ya wanted ta dance ya just had ta say so." He teased and she shook her head.
        "I don't wanna do that kinda dance, Ray." She purred as she reached up to nibble his neck. "I wanna do the octagon mojo." Ray paused for a moment, trying to figure that one out, ah..horizontal mambo! He shook his head, he wasn't touching that one.
        "I..ah..I had a long day, Frannie." He muttered, trying to forget what her lips were doing to his sensitive skin.
        "We don't have to work tomorrow, so we've got all night." She replied undeterred. "You can sleep later."
        "Um....I don't got any..." Francesca pulled out a string of condoms from the pocket of the robe and Ray flushed again. "I'm hungry. I should eat." Francesca reached behind him to a bowl of fruit she had placed on the counter, and selected an apple, which she then shoved into his open mouth.
        "You chew, I'll work." She suggested once again going for the button of his jeans and he briefly wondered when she had relieved him of the belt. He bit off a piece of the apple, since it was already in his mouth, then chewed it quickly as he placed it and his drink on the counter, using his freed hands to capture hers.
        "Francesca, we can't." He refused, swallowing the morsel in his mouth.
        "Why not?' she demanded, her patience was at an end. Ray thought for a moment.
        "I'm not in the mood." He tried, but she pressed her hand against him and squeezed his hardened arousal.
        "The hell you aren't." she muttered, then she suddenly stepped back. "Am I that undesirable, Ray? Can't you even consider wanting to make love to me?" As always Ray was quick to calm her fears, as she knew he would be.
        "No, no." He assured pulling her to him and running his fingers soothingly through her hair. "I do want you, ya know I do, Frannie. Please don't think like that."
        "Then why won't you make love to me, Ray?" she demanded. "Fer heaven's sake, yer harder to land than Fraser ever seemed ta be."
        "I..I just think we ...we should wait." He stressed quietly.
        "Fer what? Fer the next coming of Christ." She gasped and quickly blessed her self. "Ya see what ya made me do! I could go ta hell now and it'd be all yer fault!" Ray smothered his smile, knowing now was not the time to tease her or show his amusement.
        "I'm sorry." He offered gently. "Besides, isn't premarital sex considered a sin?" She blushed.
        "That's different." She murmured. "We both been married all ready, so it's okay." She glanced up at him. "Unless ya wanna get married." She hadn't expected Ray to pale so visibly and she was quick to assure him, his sudden expression knocking the wind from her sails. She knew his last marriage had not been much better than her own  and that he was still in love with his ex-wife, whether he admitted it or not.  "I..I didn't mean that. Please, Ray. I...I just wanna make love. What is so wrong with that?" Ray sighed and moved away from her to sit on the sofa. After a moment she joined him. "Talk to me, Ray."
        "Frannie..I'm..afraid." he said at last and her eyes widdened.
        "Afraid of what?" she asked gently, surprised at how soft his voice had become, like he was forcing back tears.
        "You, me..everything." His voice cracked from emotion, then he cleared his throat and spoke somewhat clearer. "I..I made some mistakes..with Stella. I..I don't know exactly what all those mistakes were and I don't wanna repeat them with you. I..." he paused again gathering his thoughts."It's been a l..long time since I was...with someone, o..other than Stella and I..I'm not sure I can..." He growled and placed his head in his hands frustrated, as Francesca put a gentle massaging hand to his neck. He always seemed so sure of himself, he chased women like they were going out of style before he'd settled with her. Granted he never caught any of them, but that was no reason to doubt himself.
        "Ray," she began gently. "You will be wonderful, ya just gotta relax." She smiled. "I could give ya another massage?" Ray smiled a little, those were what always got him into trouble, yet it sounded real good about now. He nodded and pulled off his shirt.
        "Just the massage." He warned her gently and lay flat on his stomach as she hurried to the bedroom to retrieve her lotion, the same one she had used that last time. She knelt beside him and warmed the lavender scented cream in her hands, then applied it to his back. In moments she had him completely relaxed, as she wove her magic hands over his neck, shoulders and back, loosing muscles and relieving aches and pains.
        "Feel better?" she asked him after awhile.
        "Mmmm." He replied, his face was turned into the pillow of his sofa cushion. "Yer magic Frannie." She smiled and continued her work, her eyes straying occasionally to the firm, round buttocks that were just inches away.
        "Can I give ya an all over massage?" Ray mumbled something incoherent  then rolled over suddenly and pulled her to him, kissing her gently.
        "I do wanna make love ta ya, Frannie." He whispered, caressing her cheek and she sighed against him, allowing her hands to trip gently over his exposed chest as she had his back. She knew he wanted her, but it still hurt that he wouldn't take her.
        "Then make love ta me, Ray." She encouraged taking possession of his mouth and kissing him eagerly. He returned he passionate assault as she moved to lay her body over his on the small sofa, so that every part of her was now touching a part of him. She heard a low growl form from deep in his throat as his hands caressed her urgently, his hips grinding against hers, informing her if his aroused state.
        "Ah...God, Frannie!" He gasped when the need for air finally drove them apart. He stared into her eyes, which were only inches form his own. "Are ya sure, sweetheart?" Joy flooded her and she nodded vigorously, causing him to chuckle. "I do want ya, I don't want ya ta ever doubt dat."
        "Then show me, love." She whispered in his ear nibbling gently on the sensitive lobe. "Show me ya love me, Ray, like I love you." She felt Ray stiffened and she realized she had said the forbidden 'L' word. She drew back slightly to gage his reaction. They had danced around that particular emotion for the past two months and now she had worried she had blown everything by admitting how much she really cared for him. She understood Ray's fear of loving someone, he had been hurt badly before and was still recovering from it. But instead of the incrimination and fear she expected to see in his eyes, she saw only a wonderful tenderness and surprise.
        "You love me, Frannie?" he asked huskily and she nodded hesitantly. He crushed her to him, murmuring in her ear. "Thank you. Thank you Frannie fer lovin' me." Francesca felt as though her heart would burst as she cuddled against him, but she didn't ask him to return her feelings, he wasn't ready to do that and she accepted that.
        She maneuvered one hand under him, so she could unfasten the button of his jeans and he surprised her by raising up enough for her to get the zipper down and pull them off, leaving him in his boxers. She  slid slowly off of him and poured some more lotion on her hands to work his thighs and calf muscles.
         "That's good, Frannie." He sighed, letting her work. He hadn't realized how sore he was. After a long moment, when his whole body felt like Jell-O, he sat up and stretched, then took the lotion from her, indicating she take his position on the sofa. "Yer turn." Francesca smiled in delight and slipped off her robe, revealing the sexy black negligée underneath, then stretched out on her stomach as Ray had done.
        Ray smiled and knelt beside her, pouring the lotion over his hands, as Francesca adjusted the slim straps of her bodice, so that her back was bare and ready for him. Ray concentrated on looking just at her back and not the inviting flesh that was now crushed against the throw pillows. He worked the lotion into her back, working from her neck muscles down and she sighed. He had never given her a massage before, it seemed right and she seemed to be enjoying it so he must be doing something right. Her back arched like a kitten toward his touch and he tried to adjust his position on the floor, the hard on he now sported making kneeling difficult.
        Francesca suddenly turned over and stared up at him, her breasts were exposed, waiting for him, it seemed. Unable to stop himself, Ray leaned forward and laved one nipple, his hand reaching up to caress her stomach and the skin just below her breasts. She bit her lip and raised toward his mouth and he moaned, pulling his lips away after a moment to settle on her mouth. He kissed her gently, hesitantly, as he always did and she waited patiently, knowing he just needed to get started, to be sure. Soon enough she opened her mouth to his exploration sucking his tongue greedily to hers, winding her fingers through his hair and pulling him so his chest was touching hers. Ray's hand wandered down across her stomach, lower to her abdomen, then delved between her legs. She growled and pulled his hand away, he had done that for her before, but she didn't want that tonight. She didn't want him to get her off and then not let her finish up with him. She wanted him, completely and fully inside of her, loving her. Ray moved back and stared at her questioning.
        "I want you." She murmured, reaching her hand down to grip his arousal meaningfully. Ray rocked against her touch and dipped his head to kiss her again. After the need for air forced them to surface once again, Francesca pleaded with him again to take her and Ray lowered his eyes. She stood from the sofa and pulled him to his feet, guiding him toward the bedroom, stopping to grab the string of condoms from his robe. Once inside she gently pushed him back onto the bed then climbed over him. He rarely let her do anything but kiss him, but tonight she intended to have her way with him, just as she had dreamed of doing for so long. She trailed a path of kisses from his lips to his navel, licking and kissing him erotically, hearing his labored breathing and feeling the tightness her assault caused in his groin.  When she reached for him she was shocked when he called out Fraser's name. She bolted upright.
        "What!" she exclaimed furious, but Ray was already sitting up and reaching for his phone. "Ray!" If he was calling out the Mountie's name in a fit of desire, instead of hers she would cry. It couldn't be! It wasn't fair!
        "Something's wrong." Ray suddenly said hanging up the phone and moving back to the living room to retrieve his clothes. Francesca followed fuming, this was the last straw, using Fraser as an excuse now.
        "Damnit Ray!" she declared as he quickly dressed then retrieved his shoulder holster. "I swear if you walk out on me we are through." He swung her toward him and enveloped her in a quick hug.
        "I don't mean to, Frannie." He assured quickly, urgently. "Please understand. Something is really wrong with Fraser. I... I don't know how I know I just do." Francesca stared at him, witnessed the worry and fear in his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. She nodded and he kissed her, then ran from the apartment.
 

        Ray ran a shaky hand through his tousled hair, as the GTO slid slowly along the route Fraser would have taken home. There had been no answer at the Consulate, still, when he had called just a few minutes ago and he couldn't find his partner.
        "Please let me be wrong." He said to himself. "Let him be okay." A flash of red caught his eye in a passing ally and he slammed on his brakes, pulling to the curb and leaping from the vehicle. There lay the Mountie, in the back of the ally beside the Dumpster, unconscious. Ray knelt and carefully turned his friend over, praying he wasn't dead or shot. He winced as his hand came away from Fraser's chest coated with blood, not shot, stabbed. He rested the Canadian's head on his lap and quickly dialed for an ambulance on his cell phone, then he concentrated on trying to get Fraser to respond to him.
        "Fraser? Fraazzure." He slapped the Mountie's deathly pale cheek. "Com'ahn buddy. Don't do this to me. Wake up." He slapped him a little harder. "Com'ahn Frase. Thatcher's gonna have a cow if yer not on guard duty in five minutes." Somehow that got through and Fraser opened his eyes, staring up at Ray with such stark terror Ray felt a shiver run down his own spine.
        "R..Ray?" he questioned dazed, then winced as he tried to sit up.
        "Stay still ya moron, ya been hurt." Ray scolded and pulled the Mountie back against his lap. "What happened Fraser?" The Mountie licked his dry lips, trying to focus.
        "I..you must leave, Ray." He suddenly announced with a tremor in his voice. "Please, she mustn't see you..she'lll..." Ray heard the sirens getting nearer.
        "She who? What are ya talkin' about, Fraser." Fraser seemed really agitated now, beyond frightened.
        "Please, Ray. Leave before...before..." Ray looked around at a sound behind him, then all went black.
 

        Fraser awoke in the hospital, an anxious Thatcher and Francesca watching over him.
        "W...where is Ray?" he demanded as soon as he had found his voice, he noticed that Francesca had been crying. He remembered hearing a cry for help in the ally as he passed, and he had hurried to the person's aid, only to have a knife gouged into his ribs. He dropped to the ground, fighting the wave of unconsciousness the pain was escalating towards, then he looked up and saw her and he did something Benton Fraser had never done before in his life, he fainted. Ray had been there, sometime after, he had tried to warn him. Did the detective get away?
        "He...he was with me." Explained Francesca. " He suddenly had this premonition that you were in trouble and he went looking for you. It was so weird Fraser, like he somehow sensed you were in trouble. He..he never..." She turned away and Fraser turned emotionally frustrated eyes to his superior.
        "Please, Meg." He asked. 'Tell me where Ray is." Thatcher lowered her eyes for a long moment, then squared her shoulders.
        "I'm afraid he's dead, Fraser." She stated, with more control than she felt at the present. Fraser blinked. Ray? Dead? He couldn't be. He'd been alive when...when.
        "H..How?" he whispered.
        "A fire in he building they found you next to." Explained Thatcher gently. "He..they think he may have gone in there looking for you. He...he was very badly burned by the time they got the fire down it...he..." Thatcher lowered her eyes and again and  bit her lip.
        "NO!" denied Fraser. "He did find me. He was with me, I remember that. I..I was trying to warn him..." Thatcher shook her head.
        "You must have been hallucinating Fraser." She commented. "Ray went into the building from the front entrance, walked straight into the fire because he thought you were in there. The ceiling collapsed on him moments later. The ambulance found you in the back alley." Fraser shook his head, it couldn't be true. Ray was not dead, he would know, he would feel the emptiness his friend's death would cause him inside. Fraser fixed her with a cold stare.
        "I want to see the body." He demanded, shoving the covers back and pushing his legs over the side. Thatcher and Francesca were beside him instantly as he swayed.
        "You just had surgery, Constable." Thatcher informed trying to get the larger Canadian back into the bed.  "You must rest." He stared at her, not wanting to disobey her, yet needing to see his friend, to know the truth.
        "Please, Sir." He requested huskily. "I have to see for myself." After a long pause she nodded and called for a nurse to bring a wheel chair, insisting that she didn't want Fraser to tear his stitches. She helped Fraser into the chair, mindful of the drafty gown that he wore and pulled a sheet off the bed to drape around his legs, then she and Francesca headed out with him. Apparently Kowalski's body had come to the hospital with Fraser and now his body was in the morgue downstairs. Fraser briefly thought, how distasteful that would be to Ray, he disliked morgues, but then he caught himself. Ray couldn't be dead, he just couldn't.
        "Here he is." Remarked the tech, pulling the slab drawer out from the wall with an informality that annoyed Fraser, as Thatcher and Francesca helped him to stand closer to the covered body. The tech popped his gum. "He's pretty charred, ya sure ya wanna see this?" Fraser nodded and the man pulled the sheet back.
        Fraser swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, noticing how Francesca whimpered and turned away. He glanced over the body, It was Ray's height and build, but other than that there was no recognition of the blond detective in the charred remains, except...Fraser noticed the  silver bracelet that was still on one charred wrist. He carefully fingered the bracelet, he had never found out it's origin, Ray never told him, he only knew the detective always wore it. He rubbed his hand over the metal, noticing how the silver seemed undamaged.
        "Who identified the body?" Fraser asked the tech, which glanced at the chart.
        "Mrs. Kowalski." He replied popping his gum once again and Fraser fought the urge to pop him, he almost smiled, that is something Ray would say.  Ray's mother probably used the bracelet as the basis of the identifying process, since so little identifying marks remained of the body.
        "Have you done a dental identification?" Fraser insisted, remembering he still had Ray's dental records in his office, he had made a mold of the man's teeth when he had first met him and not realized he was posing as Ray Vecchio. The man nodded.
        "Yep, they did all that." He assured. "Came back as a positive ID." Fraser scowled. Everything seemed to be in order, yet he could not believe this was his Ray. He moved around the body, using his investigative skills to examine the corpse, his unorthodox procedure causing the tech to turn slightly green.
        "Um..I don't think you can do that." He protested as Fraser sniffed the fingernails.
        "Be quiet." Thatcher told him, watching Fraser quietly. She knew he needed to do this. Finally Fraser shook his head.
        "It isn't Ray Kowalski." He shook his head and Thatcher's eyes narrowed.
        "I know that you wish it wasn't Constable but..."
        "I know Ray Kowalski, I know his scent, his taste." All three people stared at him slightly shocked, but he didn't elaborate. "There are too many discrepancies." He held up the corpse's right hand. "Ray told me he broke his little finger when he was eight, it never quite healed properly. This man has had no broken fingers. Ray Kowalski never smoked, yet there are nicotine stains under the fingertips. This isn't Ray Kowalski."
        "But they have dental records and his mother identified him." Protested the tech, intrigued by the Mountie's hypothesis.
        "She identified him by the bracelet." Fraser stated, reaching to pull the piece of jewelry off and fold it in his hand. "Dental records can be falsified and I can prove they were as well."
        "Are you sure about this, Fraser?" Thatcher asked quietly and he nodded. She nodded as well, he had never given her any reason to doubt his powers of deduction. "Then we'll find Ray." Fraser stared at her, relieved that she believed him. "But first Constable you need to get back to bed."
        "But Sir..."
        "No arguments, Fraser." She decided
 

        Ray groaned and opened his heavy lidded eyes, his whole body felt like it had been through a meat grinder and his head was pounding so loudly he saw bright spots before him on the dingy gray ceiling. Where was he? What the hell happened? Fraser! Where was Fraser? He'd been hurt, did they get to him? Was he alive. He tried to rise from the small wire cot where he lay, but was brutally hauled backwards by the shackles on his wrists. What the hell? He glanced up and pulled at his chains, just as a door opened from the other side of the room and a woman with dark flowing hair and cold eyes walked in. She approached the bed and stared down at him with such an intense hatred he had to force himself not to cringe.
        "Who the hell are you?" he demanded with his usual grace. "What the F**k ya got me chained up fer?"
        "It's purely for your own protection, Detective." She assured calmly. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."
        "The only person who's gonna get hurt around here is you lady, if you don't f**kin; release me, got it?"
        "Save your threats." She sighed. 'They don't impress me, I've heard it all before." She offered him an icy smile. "We have a mutual friend, you and I. Soon, he'll realize that I have you and will come looking for you."
        "Who might that be?" Ray demanded.
        "Ben." She replied calmly. "You're partner, or rather the real Ray Vecchio's partner, he's only with you to keep the cover going." That hurt, but Ray refused to show it. "It must be awful to have to live another man's life, have another man's friend's, knowing they'll be taken from you the moment Vecchio returns." Ray stared at her shocked, but refused to rise to the bate.
        "Yer nuts." He decided. "You don't have a clue about me or what I think."
        "I know what it's like to want something to be yours so badly you will do anything for it." She hissed. "I know you want to have Vecchio's life permanently. To have Fraser as your partner and his family and friends to be yours, truly yours and I can help you do that, Ray. The world will be a better place without Ray Vecchio and we both know it. All you have to do is tell me where he is." Ray laughed to surprised to do anything else.
        "Oh, lady!" he exclaimed. "Yer outta yer tree if ya think I'd tell ya that."
        "Have it your way, Stanley." She sighed placidly. "But know this nothing will keep me from what I want and when Fraser comes, he'll accept that I did it all for him."
        "Yer buckin' fer the loony bin, lady, if ya think this will land ya anywhere but in a jail cell." Ray called after her as she turned toward the door. She glanced back at him and smiled, an evil smile.
        "I've been there before, Stanley, that doesn't impress me either." She turned and went out and a chill rose over him as he realized who the mysterious woman was, and he silently prayed Fraser stayed the hell away from here, wherever here was.
 

        Fraser ignored the doctor's orders and returned to the place where the warehouse building had burned, supposedly with Ray inside and he had been found behind in the alley behind it. Dressed in his casual clothing, with only his Stetson announcing his official status, he searched the area thoroughly with Diefenbaker. Frannie had wanted to come with him, eager to help if there was a chance that Kowalski was alive, but Fraser had dissuaded her, needing to have not distraction during his hunt for his partner's whereabouts. He found bloodstains that were probably from his injuries at the time, but no other signs that Ray may have been seriously injured. There were no fibers or traces of their attacker, although Fraser was sure he knew who at least one of them was, though he was loath to admit it. In three days he had come up with nothing that would lead him to the detective and his frustration bore heavily on him. The one thing he had found was Ray's cell phone in a nearby Dumpster, which he now carried with him.
        He was at a loss what to do, as he returned to Ray's apartment, for lack of a better place to go. Mrs. Kowalski had been there earlier, with the intent to collect her son's things, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Fraser couldn't tell her of his suspicions yet, he didn't want to get her hopes up. Ray's silver bracelet dangled from his left wrist, a reminder of the corpse that lay in the hospital morgue under his partner's name. Suddenly an idea came to him, if his suspicions were correct there may only be one way to find Ray, he decided and quickly left the apartment. He returned a short time later with a large paper sack, from which he extracted a multitude of simple service candles. He proceeded to light all the candles, placing them everywhere there was a spare place in the small apartment, then he sat down and waited.
        Fraser awoke some time later, he had fallen asleep sitting up, physically and emotionally exhausted from all that had happened the last few days, as he realized Ray's phone was ringing. He grabbed it and flipped it open. The woman on the other end informed him of a time and place to meet and hung up. Fraser sat back for a moment, her voice vibrating through him still with such jagged intensity he found it difficult to breathe. Dear God. Victoria had Ray and Fraser feared for his friend's life.
 

        Ray awoke once more as he was lifted from the wire cot and moved toward the only door. He struggled and the two thugs that held him beat him down, ending up half dragging him to their destination. Ray shook his head and managed to raise his eyes to the dark haired woman standing before him.
        "Last chance, Detective." She offered. "Will you cooperate?" He managed a sneer as he rubbed his sore wrists, chafed from the shackles he had been imprisoned with.
        "Sure, just a soon as hell freezes over." He hissed and she smiled and he was pushed into a giant transparent chamber. The door was secured and Victoria Metcaf stared at him through the glass, her eyes cold and unforgiving.
        "Ben will be here soon," she announced through the speaker on the wall, and Ray felt his heart drop in despair. Fraser couldn't be coming, she'd destroy him. "I wonder if he will give me Ray Vecchio's life for yours? Possibly not, but I will enjoy watching him witness your death." Ray started but didn't show his fear, she was going to kill him, in front of Fraser. Ray knew that guilt would consume his friend if he had to witness his partner'' death and vowed he'd keep the Mountie from seeing such a tragedy, even if he had to off himself before hand to do it. He decided to try and reason with her, when all else fails, lie.
        "Fraser isn't gonna give a rat's ass whether I live or die." He stated confidently. "Ya said it yerself, I'm just a substitute for the real Vecchio. Ya ain't gonna hurt him by doin' this."
        "We'll see." She replied. Okay, change of tactics. Ray considered her for a moment.
        "I thought you loved Fraser?"
        "I do, with all of my heart."
        "Then why d'ya wanna destroy him?" he taunted. "Why d'ya wanna hurt him. Y'know he'd probably be happy ta see ya, he's missed ya. He talks about ya all the time." Yeah, he rebuked silently, she was on the Mounties's mind all right, in his nightmares and fears, a constant reminder of the betrayal that her love had given him. Ray knew what that was like, to be betrayed for loving someone so very much, The Stella had done that to him, thought Stella was no where near as physcotic as Victoria. She seemed to consider his words.
        "He truly speaks of me?"
        "Yah, all da time. Dat's how I knew who you were, he described ya to me lot's a times, but I never figured his description of ya could be real, it seemed so perfect but now I can see he was tellin' da truth.." Yah, she was a looker, he had admitted that when he had seen the picture in her file, but damned if her eyes weren't heavy on the evil looking side.
        "And why would he discuss me with someone he cares nothing about?" she demanded suddenly, forcing him to retract his earlier statement. He offered her a cocky grin.
        "Okay, yah, I said that." He admitted. "But ya don't expect me ta not at least try ta convince ya not ta off me, right?" She smiled slightly and he sensed he had made some leeway with her. "Me an' Fraser are good buds, he tells me everythin' and he has told me about ya."
        "What has he told you then?" she asked coolly, her smile gone. Um..think Kowalski think!
        "He..ah..he said dat you and him met up in da Northwest Areas..er..Terratories in Canada." He offered while he frantically tried to piece together information from the file and what little he had actually pried from Fraser. Think think! "Ah, he said dat ya had made a mistake and he had ta bring ya in fer it." He paused giving her time to consider his next statement. "He feels real bad 'bout that, specially when ya came back and y'know you and him got together." He saw the flicker of emotion pass briefly over her stone face, but it was a start, a crack in the mask she hid behind. "He wanted ta go wit ya when ya left." She turned away slightly and lowered her eyes, a sadness overcoming her that Ray almost felt sorry for her...almost.
        "Vecchio shot him." She stated bitterly and Ray hid his surprise. He had known Fraser had been shot and the that bullet was still in him and offered caused him great discomfort, but he had assumed it had been Victoria who had shot him, not Vecchio. "He shot him to keep him from coming with me. What sort of man does that?"
        "I..I dunno." Ray replied quietly, trying to keep his tone friendly and sympathetic, hopeful she would except his lies at face value and start trusting him. "'Dat's pretty shitty all right, ta shoot yer own partner."
        "He wanted to keep Ben with him." She accused angrily. "He took the man I loved away from me and I hate him for it!"
        "Yah, well...I got no love for Vecchio either." He pressed indulgently. "I mean, he just up and left Fraser, he couldn'ta been too good a friend. Now, me, I'd have ta y'know respect Fraser's wishes more." She turned and stared at him with such intensity he had to struggle not to look away.
        "You would allow Ben to go away with me?" she inquired cautiously.
        "If dat's what he wants, I mean if it's what makes him happy who am I ta interfere in his happiness?" She stared at him again appraisingly, then she ordered the door open and stepped inside the chamber, her two associates blocking the exit.
        She approached Ray and he stood his ground curious, watching as she reached up a long, slender hand to caress his cheek. She ran her hand lightly through his hair, then grabbed a handful of it and jerked his head downward to claim his lips. She kissed him with such ferocity that Ray had neither the time nor the sense of mind to respond, before she released him just as suddenly then slapped him hard across the face, causing his head to whip painfully backwards from the blow.
        "You must think I am a fool." She sneered. "Do you honestly think I would believe a word you say you stupid man? I know what it is to want Benton Fraser and you wouldn't give him up any more than Vecchio did. But you have given me an idea, a more considerable alternative to the fate I had planned for you." She stepped back outside before Ray could attempt an escape and the door slammed shut again. He slammed his fist against the glass in frustration as they walked away from him. He'd been so close, but one thing was for sure, Victoria Metcalf was nobody's fool.
 

        Fraser arrived, once again at the theater, where he had confronted Victoria of her betrayal, and moved to the back room, his palm holding the quarters needed to access the panel that would allow him to see the woman that haunted his dreams. The door closed behind hi as he entered the darkened room and he dropped the quarters into the slot, waiting in fearful anticipation for the screen to slide back and reveal Victoria.
        She looked very much like the last time he had seen her, though she was wearing her hair differently, and he recognized the reddish bob as a wig. He found himself wondering if she still had the luxurious dark curls that he had run his fingers through so many times that night they had..he shook his head. How could he be thinking about that now, when the woman before him who had tried to destroy his and Ray Vecchio's lives. Had cost him to be shot, who had lied and Betrayed and used him because of some sick sense of vengeance. How could he think in that way, because he was still desperately in love with her and this fact hit him like a sharp blow the moment the curtain had gone up and she turned to look at him.
        "Hello Ben." She greeted quietly, almost shyly Fraser had removed his hat, tossed it nervously between his fingers as he shifted his weight repeatedly when he found he couldn't speak, only stare. Victoria offered him a small smile. "I'm sorry our reunion had to be like this, but I simply don't trust you enough not to turn me in had I come to you directly." Her words caused him anger and enabled him to speak finally.
        "Is that why you tried to have me killed?" he demanded grimly, his jaw was locked in an effort to control the tide of emotions that suddenly filled him. Hurt, anger, lust, sadness, fear, all these feelings all at once. It made his head spin to feel so much at one time.
        "I never meant for that to happen, Ben." She assured quickly. "Gary just got carried away, I never meant for him to hurt you." She averted her yes then looked up again, shifting uncomfortably on the high stool where she sat. "It was good that your friend showed up when he did, but then I had to cover that too."
        "What do you want, Victoria?" he sighed, pain filtering through his voice. "Where is Ray? What have you done to him?"
        "Your friend is safe, Ben." She assured quickly, managing to look hurt that he would suspect her of harming his partner. "I have no quarrel with him. I merely wanted to see you."
        "Why?"
        "Because I love you, Ben." She pleaded. "I'm better now, I haven't done those kinds of things from my past in a long time and I want us to be together." Fraser stared at her, the urge to say yes was entirely to quick in coming and he swallowed with difficulty.
        "Will you release Ray, then?" he asked quietly, staring at his hat, it hurt to look at her, to gaze upon the woman he loved knowing she was mad and swore vengeance on him and all who knew him, despite her tender endearments to the contrary.
        "Of course," she agreed readily. "I will even tell you where he is and you can go get him yourself." Fraser's gaze narrowed on her, he couldn't trust her, he knew that, but God he wanted to believe she had changed.
        "I wish..." he began then stopped himself.
        "What is it you wish Ben?" she inquired gently.
        "I wish you didn't hate me so much Victoria." He revealed with a shuddered breath as he finally met her gaze, noticing that the tenderness in her expression, the softness of her voice never reached those damning, unforgivingly cold eyes.
        "Love and hate are just two sides to the same coin, Ben." She reminded quietly. "You hate me, but you love me too, don't you?" Fraser shook his head, he didn't hate her, truly he didn't. He despised what she had done, condemned the life she chose to lead. He felt anger, hurt, love, lust, fear, hope, many things concerning Victoria but he did not, in all honesty hate her and he knew he never would.
        "I could never hate you, Victoria." He voiced the thought and her eyes narrowed.
        "Because you love me, right, Benton?" she pressed sliding off her stool as the curtain began to fall and Fraser moved to insert more coins. He waited until he could see her completely again before answering.
        "Yes, Victoria." He admitted, though what such an admission cost him he had yet to find out. He wouldn't lie to her, not like she had lied to him. "Please tell me where Ray is." She shrugged.
        "If I tell you will you come away with me, Ben?" she demanded suddenly. "Your new partner assured me he won't try to stop you, not like Vecchio did anyway."
        "I..." How could he respond? Yes he wanted to be with her but he knew she would only betray him again. She was too destructive, too filled with hatred for them to be together and both survive the experience.
        "You still can't decide for yourself Fraser." She spat suddenly furious. "Well, go to your partner, find him and follow him to hell!" the curtain swiftly began to drop again and Fraser rushed to the door, knowing she would once again try to elude him. He had never figured out how she could move so fast, but she was gone by the time he burst from the room. He did however find a flyer for a magic act at a theater across town and his heart caught in his chest as he stared at the specialty attraction, the tank of death.
 

         Ray slammed against the glass repeatedly, his body bruised and sore from the effort, as the cold water gushed into the chamber. It was already up to his calves and rising by the second, so he knew he didn't have much time left. He had examined the tank from every possible angle, but even the door had no inside mechanisms to get out.
        "It's a magicians water chamber, dere has ta be a way out!" he told himself, trying to quell the fear rising within him. He thought back to the Henry Allen, when he was cuffed to a pipe and the water had been rushing more and more inside the ship, he had thought he would drown for sure, but Fraser had found him and saved him. Now he was torn between wanting the Mountie to rescue him, and hoping his partner was to late to witness his friend's death. The water had reached his knees and he had started to shiver from the cold, why can't they ever use warm water, why does it always have to feel like he was swimming in the Atlantic?
        He jumped up to try and grasp the two small hooks at the top, possibly for the magician's submersion, even though there was a hidden door at the bottom that Victoria used. Victoria. He ever got out of this and he'd shoot her himself, Vecchio had the right idea.  He could not reach the hooks, no matter how he tried, and now water was up to his waist. He suspected once the water got to his chest, it would float him high enough to grasp the top, but that would only give him a few seconds of air at most and he did not have excess lung capacity, like a certain Canadian friend of his did.
        He could hear his own short panting breaths in the silent chamber above the rushing water, and he knew that if he didn't calm down he would have no air by the time the water reached his head and that he would hyperventilate and drown instantly. He tried the trick Fraser had taught him, closing his eyes and concentrating on regulating his breathing to the slower beat of his heart, only his heart threatened to burst form his chest at the moment so it didn't work quite as well. Finally he managed to slow his breathing, in through the nose out through the mouth..easy...slow and steady. He opened his eyes and found that the water had risen to his chest and all previous thought of calm left him as he struggled to reach the hooks above. Bloom close, kick em in the dead.
        "Com'ahn damnit!" he cursed his uncoordinated body as he pushed upwards. "Reach fer it...reach fer it." His hand finally clasped the cold metal and he lifted himself higher out of the freezing water, so that only his legs up to his knees were covered. He didn't know how long he would be able to hang on, the hook was already cutting into the tender skin of his flesh, but it was better then the cold death that waited below. Granted, it would get him eventually, but he'd damned sure fight the Grim Reaper on this one. His teeth were chattering, his wet hands were sliding on the metal, causing him to constantly reaffirm his hold.
        The water rose to his waist again and he closed his eyes for a minute, his life flashing before the closed lids. His parents, Stella, Fraser, Beth Botrell, Frannie. He felt his lower lip quiver slightly as he bit back tears of frustration. Francesca Vecchio loved him, had admitted as much, though he couldn't fathom how she could feel that way about him, Stanley Raymond Kowalski, three time looser and major screw up. His parents loved him, even Stella still loved him in a way, and though he still couldn't quite understand it, he knew that Fraser loved him, just as he loved the Mountie, perhaps more than he had ever loved another person accept Stella. Fraser was his rock, his conscience and his best friend. He could accept this, even with the threat that when Vecchio returned things would change and they might not be partners again. He understood what Victoria had meant when she said that everyone wants Benton Fraser, he couldn't deny that his life would be so empty without the logical unconventional Canadian, even if he was a freak. Ray allowed himself a little smile, that freak had become very important to this particular Chicago flatfoot.
        He adjusted his hold once again, as he opened his eyes, gasping as the water surrounded his chest and rose steadily closer. He closed his eyes again, trying to remember what he had been thinking about. Oh, yeah, the people he cared about, the ones he would leave behind. Fraser, Francesca. Frannie, dear beautiful Frannie, he'd give anything to hear her constant chatter right about now. He suddenly realized that he had never responded to her declaration of love and regret filled him.
        "I do love ya Frannie." He whispered to himself as he felt the water on his chin and he raised it slightly to prolong the inevitable just for another few seconds. "I'm sorry I didn't tell ya." Regrets assailed him. He wished his had been closer to his parents, wished he had made his marriage work, or that he had been a better cop. He wished he had met Fraser sooner and had known him longer and wished, most of all, that he had done enough good in his life to warrant a place in Heaven. The Lords prayer rose to his lips just as the water did, silencing his words.
 

        Fraser broke through the heavy locked door on his third try an rushed inside. He stopped dead for a moment at the sight of Ray Kowalski, his friend and partner, floating lifelessly in the water filled tank. He was too late! Fear spurned him into action as he took a chair and banged it repeatedly against the glass, even though there was a padlock on the small side door because he had no time to pick it. Tossing the chair useless chair aside he found a metal pipe from the above equipment and slammed it into the chamber furiously.
        Finally, the glass started to crack and then a tidal wave of water gushed forth, carrying his partner with it, out over the large stage, and knocking Fraser backwards with the force. He slipped a few times as he scrambled to reach his friend and feel for a pulse. Finding none he immediately began CPR, praying to whoever was listening that Ray had not yet swallowed enough water that he would be lost to him. He had just pressed his mouth to Ray's for the third time, exhaling a long slow breath into the detective's lungs, when Ray opened his eyes and started coughing. Fraser helped him roll on his side to expel the water now surging to the surface. Fraser waited until he seemed to have regained some of his breath before asking if he was okay.
        "Ya..ya gotta stop wit da kissin' Fraser." Ray teased hoarsely. "F...Frannie's gonna get jealous, buddy breathin' or no." Fraser was so relieved to hear his friends taunting voice he surprised himself with an unusual display of affection, throwing his arms around the detective and chuckling in giddy relief.
        "I'd be happy to stop, Ray." He assured pushing a damp lock of Ray's hair away from the man's eyes. "If you would be so kind as to stay clear of water since you don't swim." Ray laughed, though it sounded more like a coughing choke as he spit up more water, then actually vomited, clearing whatever may have been left in his stomach. Fraser grabbed a cloth that had washed off the table when the tank had burst and wiped his friend's face carefully.
        "Must'a been somethin' I ate." Ray wheezed and Fraser shook his head, the man could make a joke at the oddest times.
        "I believe so." Fraser agreed firmly, as he helped his friend to rise. Both men were soaked, Fraser's uniform was an unwelcome weight on him, though he did not attempt to remove even his tunic for relief. "Does this seem familiar to you, Ray?" Ray grinned and coughed, damn his throat and lungs hurt.
        "Oddly yes." He returned appropriately.
        "It's a shame you can't discuss your little adventure further." Informed a cold feminine voice from the audience. Both men turned and saw Victoria Metcaf, a gun trained on them as she walked slowly down the isle of seats. "I knew you would save him, Ben. You're very good at playing the hero when it suits you."
        "Victoria please..." Fraser began but she cut him off furious.
        "Please what Benton?" she demanded coldly. "Please let you and your little friend live? Please don't hurt us? Please run away with me?" She shook her head. "You never listened when I said please, Ben. When I begged you not to turn me in, you never listened to me, my pleas fell on deaf ears. Well, this time, it will be your turn to beg." Both men started as Victoria's associates crept up from behind and grabbed Ray, pulling him away from Fraser, as Victoria moved closer to the detective, her gun never wavering from her aim on his chest.
        "Don't do this, Victoria..." Fraser protested.
        "You won't beg for your own life, I know that, but you might beg for his." She waived her gun toward Kowalski again, though her eyes never left Fraser's. Will the dutiful proud Mountie be too ashamed to beg for his partner's life, I wonder?" Fraser met her gaze unfaltering.
        "Don't do it, Buddy." Ray refused, only to have one of the men jab him painfully in the stomach. Fraser glanced at him, then back at Victoria. He couldn't allow ray to be hurt, but he couldn't show weakness to Victoria either, that would only push her control of the situation further beyond his own control.
        "On your knees, Fraser." She demanded harshly. "Beg me to spare your friend's life."
        "I won't do that Victoria." He refused, barely glimpsing the smug look Ray shot her.
        "You want to see his brains all over this auditorium?" she threatened.
        "No." he admitted. "But what I want isn't a concern of yours, is it? You will do whatever you feel is necessary to achieve your goal of revenge." Her eyes narrowed on him. "I didn't lie to you before, Victoria, I do love you. I can't expect you to forgive me for what I've done, but I wish things could be different." He stepped closer to her, sensing her anger was wavering. "Hurting Ray won't change things. It won't wipe out the past or give you back the years prison took from you...that I took from you." Her hand dropped slightly. Suddenly she backed up and corrected her aim on Kowalski.
        "No!" she denied. "You're trying to tr1ck me again! You want me to go back to prison!" Fraser shook his head quickly.
        "No." he vowed softly. "I don't want you to go back to prison, Victoria. I..I made that mistake once, I should have let you go." He lowered his eyes briefly, then raised them again. "I will not stand in your way this time, you are free to leave." Both Ray and Victoria stared at him surprised.
        "You would let me walk away?" she demanded hesitantly. "Even after all of this, you would let me go?" Fraser nodded and she knew he was telling the truth because he did not lie. Again her aim wavered as she stared deep into his eyes.
        "Will you go with me?" she asked.
        "Yes." He agreed without reservation. "If you agree not to harm Ray, I will go with you, Victoria." Ray bit down the protest that rose to his lips, he had to trust Fraser to know what he was doing, and he would not break the spell the Mountie was trying to cast over Victoria. Though the idea of her getting away Scot free after she had tried to kill them both did not set well with him, nor did the idea that Fraser would go with her. Victoria glanced over at the henchmen that still held Ray.
        "Release him." She ordered and they stared at her shocked.
        "Are you nuts?" one of then yelled. 'You tried ta kill a cop! Ya think they're really gonna let you walk?" Victoria stared him down.
        "I said release him, now!" she adjusted her aim to hit the man that had refused her order. Immediately they stepped away from Kowalski and the detective had to force himself to lash out at them, it was Fraser's show. Victoria lowered her weapon and turned to offer Fraser a smile. "Shall we go then, Ben?" Ray caught the movement behind him, as one of the henchmen pulled out a gun and aimed it at the Mountie.
        "Fraser!" he warned, diving toward the man, but he was not quick enough. The gun went off, Fraser and Victoria turned at the sound of Ray's voice and then Victoria was suddenly in front of the Canadian, clinging to him as he dried to support her weight. Ray struggled the gunmen to the ground, rendering him unconscious and raised the discarded weapon toward the other one, who had started to run. "Try it." The man dropped to the ground with his hands behind his head as Fraser carefully lowered Victoria to the floor.
        "I....I couldn't let him shoot you, Ben." She rasped as he cradled her in his arms. "V..Vecchio took you from me once, I..I couldn't let..." Fraser shushed her, barely restrained tears evident in his voice as Ray secured the men then found a phone and called for an ambulance.
        "Don't talk love." He told her softly. "It will be all right. You'll be fine." She offered him a smile.
        "We'll be together, won't we, Ben?" she sighed. "Together forever." Fraser nodded as a tear slipped out.
        "Forever my love." He promised as Ray returned to his side, he could tell from the wound that she would not make it. She did not turn to look at him, her eyes holding Fraser's with a desperation that spoke of her deep love for him.
        "I...never wanted to..." She stiffened in his arms for a moment, then relaxed again and both men knew the end was near. "I should have forgiven you...it wasn't your fault...you..." Her eyes started to close and Fraser held her tighter. "I love you Ben.  It..it doesn't hurt anymore my love." She gasped in wonder as her eyes wandered from his to stare at something only she could see. "I see it, Ben.. our place...in the..s..snow. Meet me there..." Her voice started to drift as she started to relate the poem  she had told Fraser once before, to keep him alive.
        "I will." He vowed with a trembling voice, so deep with emotion that Ray had a hard time keeping his own tears at bay, as he began stumbling through the stanzas with her. Finally her eyes closed and her body went completely still, as sirens echoed in the distance. Ray placed a supportive hand on Fraser's shoulder as he cradled the dead woman to his chest, still whispering their poem, and wiped away his tears.
 

        Ray entered his apartment quietly, he had dropped Fraser off at the Consulate, after they were brought back to the station, where his Father had brought the GTO after hearing that his son was alive. His mother fussed and cried and he received a few grateful remarks from his fellow officers, but he was so worried about Fraser that he barely heard any of them. The Mountie had reverted to his typical rigid pose that dissuaded anyone from getting close, his face a passive stone mask, his eyes shaded with secrets he refused to reveal. Ray tried to convince him to come back to his apartment with him but Fraser had insisted he wanted to be alone.
       Against his better judgement, Ray had to respect his partner's wishes and so left him at the Consulate while he drove home. His mother had brought him a change of clothes, from the wet things he wore, and made him promise to stop by their trailer the following morning, even Mr. Kowalski was unusually affectionate with his son, insisting he listen to his mother and come see them.
        Ray dropped his keys and shoulder holster on the table, he had simply slung it over his shoulder, after he had changed clothes, rather than strap it back on again. He had found both his guns and his cell phone in a small room in the theater, and he set these on the table as well, stretching from the sudden soreness that attacked him. He rolled his head around a moment, trying to loosen the muscles in his neck, as he moved to retrieve a beer from the fridge, he needed a drink badly. After taking a few swallows, he quietly kicked off his boots and moved toward his bedroom, only mildly surprised to find the small sleeping form of Francesca Vecchio curled up on his bed. He leaned against the doorframe and studied her, he could make out one side of her face in the dim light of the street lamp outside his window, she had been crying and she wore no makeup. Ray decided she never looked more vulnerable or more beautiful.
        He took another swig of his beer then silently tread across the carpet to the other side of the bed. He placed his beer on the nightstand and pulled his shirt over his head, his eyes never leaving the woman curled up under the covers. He pulled his sheets back, noticing that Francesca was wearing one of his T-shirts, his favorite one to be exact, and he smiled. He pulled off his jeans and socks and climbed in next to her, the warmth of her soft feminine form calling to him like a lighthouse beacon to a lost ship. He cuddled into her back and wrapped his arm around her waist, waiting to see if she stirred. When she didn't he lay his head on the pillow and closed his eyes.

        Francesca awoke with a start, disoriented and afraid for a brief moment as she tried to remember where she was.  It slowly started to come back to her, the phone call from Welsh, Ray was alive, and Fraser had found him. They were taking him to the hospital for a check up but he would be fine. She immediately packed a small bag and returned to Ray's apartment, where she had been spending most of her time since his disappearance, listening to his music, wearing his clothes and sleeping in his bed. She waited and waited for him to come home last night, until she could stay awake no longer and she had climbed into his bed. Relief that he would soon be home caused another bout of tears, she had lost count of the times she had cried for different reasons over the past few days.
        She suddenly became of the warmth of a body behind her and she turned slightly to realize that it was Ray, curled up with his arm around her, sound asleep. He looked exhausted, poor baby, but she was so happy to see him she couldn't help herself from turning in his arms so she could look over his handsome features. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips, startling him awake.
        "I'm sorry." She whispered with a shy smile, as she traced the contours of his cheek with her finger. "I didn't mean to wake you." He gave her a lazy smile and pulled her closer, shifting his position so she could lay her head on his chest. "I'm glad yer okay. I missed you."
        "I missed you too, baby." He murmured sleepily as his eyes started to drift closed again. "I love ya Frannie." Francesca smiled and snuggled closer, then suddenly bolted upright as his words hit her.
        "Ray? What did you say?' she demanded quickly. No response. "Ray? Ray!" She shook him awake and he opened a lazy eye to peer at her.
        "I'm tryin' ta sleep, Frannie." He protested. "I've had a bitch of a day..."
        "What did you just say?" she demanded undeterred.
        "I had a bitch of a.."
        "Not that!" she smacked his chest and he winced, though it didn't really hurt. "Before that. About me! What did you just say about me?" Ray released a long sigh and allowed his eyes to close again.
        "Ya heard me." He replied covering a yawn with the back of his hand. Francesca's hands went for his throat to throttle him, then pulled back.
        "You tell me what you said, Raymond Kowalski!" she cried, so close to tears she her entire body shook. "I wanna make sure I heard ya right, you tell me what you said or I swear I'll...." Ray reached up and pulled the half-hysterical woman down to him, capturing her mouth in a hungry kiss. Francesca melted against him, her anger forgotten, as Ray's hands molded her body to his. Finally they parted, their hearts pounding and the breathing erratic.
        "I said I love ya, Frannie." He murmured caressing her cheek as his gaze held hers. "I love you, Francesca Vecchio. Just you and only you." Francesca cried out and threw her arms around him tighter.
        "I love you, Ray." She sniffed as he held her gently. "God I love you so much." Ray smiled and lifted her chin so he could look her in the eye again.
        "How 'bout ya show me how much ya love me, Frannie?" he suggested huskily.
        "I thought ya were tired?" she teased with a smile.
        "I'm never dat tired." He insisted claiming her lips once more.
 

        Fraser lay on the small cot in his office and stared at the ceiling, Diefenbaker slept quietly on the floor beside him, and the window was open to allow the air to chill the office just enough to be comfortable. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, her hair her eyes, her face, the blood on his hands, on her chest...He blinked at the sting of tears until his eyes refocused once more. Ray had wanted to stay and comfort him, but he didn't want to be comforted, he didn't deserve to be comforted. Victoria was dead and he had failed her for the third time. He didn't care about all that she had done, he didn't care about the hatred that and consumed her, or the fact that she had tried to kill both his partners and himself. He felt guilty and sorry for this, yes, but he didn't really care. What emotions he did seem to posses seemed to have died along with Victoria, all except the pain, the guilt, and the grief. Those, as always stayed with him, as they often did. They plagued him, overshadowing any other feelings he might have, especially if those were good feelings.
         Ray Kowalski made him feel good, he also aggravated and frustrated the hell out of him, but over all Fraser always felt good around his partner. The man had an uncanny ability to test the Mounties limits and patience, thus enabling him a sacred look inside his soul. He had revealed more of himself to Kowalski than he had to anyone he had ever known, and the fact of that both pleased and frightened him. The detective had a determined goal to get close to Fraser, though the reason for it was beyond Fraser's comprehension. He was aware that Kowalski worried about replacing Vecchio in Fraser's eyes, was concerned for the time when Vecchio returned to claim the Mountie as his partner.
        A few months ago, if Ray Vecchio had reappeared to take up his old life, Fraser would have gone to him instantly. But now...after all the things he and Kowalski had shared and suffered through, witnessing the emotionally charged contradicting energy that was Stanley Kowalski, he knew he could never be happy with Vecchio again. He still cared about his old friend and partner, but it would never be the same, just as he knew he could not erase the past for Victoria, he could not go back to being the person he was with Ray Vecchio. Stanley was his partner now, perhaps more than that if he were to be honest with himself. He needed Ray in his life, needed his warmth and his light, needed his instincts and his mood swings, and most of all needed his friendship. Kowalski had never made a secret of how he felt about Fraser, had never been afraid to show his affection for the man he considered a freak, which Fraser learned was really a term of endearment from the detective. From day one, when Ray had hugged him like a long lost brother, Fraser knew he needed this vibrantly independent Chicago cop in his life, and today he had almost lost him for good.
        That thought caused the rage inside of him to bubble to the surface. Victoria would have killed Ray, had almost succeeded, without a second thought to what she was doing. She had wanted to kill Ray to hurt Fraser, to punish him for putting her in prison, as she had tried to punish him with Ray Vecchio. He could not deny that he still loved her, perhaps he always would, but she had almost succeeded in taking two of the people he care most about away from him. Now she was dead, and she could no longer hurt anyone, so why did he feel so empty inside? Why was he morning her death so harshly? Why couldn't he get her out of his mind? Would she never release the hold she had on him, even in death?
        He released a long unsteady breath and moved his hand to cover his eyes, then caught the gleam of Ray's silver bracelet, which was still secured to his wrist. He had forgotten to return it to his friend in all the commotion. He released the clasp and turned it over in his fingers, examining it in the dim light of the moon that shone through his open window. There was an inscription on the back and he squinted to try and make it out.
S.L.K/ Oct 1963. Fraser frowned, he didn't know of anyone by those initials in Ray's family. His curiosity peeked he rose form the bed, switched on his desk lamp, after Diefenbaker gave a disgruntled growl at being disturbed, then turned on his computer. He entered the name and waited, then stared at the screen in shock as a newspaper article from 1971 appeared..
      Silvia Loraine Kowalski. Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski. Twin sister to Stanley Ray, was reported missing today after her brother claimed someone entered their room at night and took her from her bed. Stanley was found the following morning locked in the children's closet, unconscious.
         Fraser scanned for more articles and a moment later another one appeared.
     Search called off for missing girl Silvia Kowalski, who was kidnapped from her home over two months ago. Family offered no comment other than they prayed someone would bring their daughter home safely
        Fraser shook his head, how awful for Ray to have lost his sister in that way and according to the articles she was never found. Now he understood a little of why his partner wore the bracelet constantly, it was perhaps a reminder of what he had lost and a hope that one day he might find her. He now also understands why Ray was always more volatile and urgent during kidnapping cases. Fraser placed the bracelet carefully in his desk drawer, he would return it to Ray tomorrow, then shut off his lamp and computer and attempted to get some sleep.
 

        Thatcher knocked on Fraser's door once then pushed it open, surprised when she found the Mountie still sleeping. His hair was damp, as though he had just come from the shower, the few blankets that adorned his meager cot were bunched closer to the floor, rather than covering him and it was freezing in the small office. Diefenbaker whined and trotted past her to the corridor outside while she walked over and closed the open window, shivering slightly even in her thick polyester slack suit.
        She turned back toward Fraser and saw that he had still not awakened, which also surprised her, he was so alert to every sound, but then after what she had heard of last night she couldn't really blame him for being out of sorts. She moved closer to the bed and arranged the covers over him, unable to resist pushing back a lock of his hair from his brow. He looked so damn vulnerable, so alone, that she was tempted to climb in next to him, just to let him know someone was with him that cared. She never understood what drew her to him, only that it was the strongest sensation she had ever felt and that it wore her down to fight the urge every single day. Why couldn't they have just met somewhere, like a library or café? Why did she have to be his superior and he her subordinate?
        With a sigh, she allowed herself the small luxury of brushing her lips against his in a gentle kiss, then started to move away, only to have his hand come up and firmly grasp her wrist. She jumped as his eyes flew open and he stared at her, though not quite focused.
        "Sir?" he asked his voice still heavy with sleep.
        "Go back to sleep, Fraser." She whispered, trying to pull her hand free, his touch was doing strange things to her heart rate, among other things.
        "Don't leave me." He pleaded and she was uncertain if he was even really awake. Surly he wasn't, for he would never blatantly ask such a thing of her, it was not in him to act the slightest bit inappropriately.
        "I won't leave, Ben." She assured surprised the words had come from her own lips. "Go back to sleep, I'll stay with you." She traced her fingers along his forehead, a soothing gesture that was meant to comfort, but seemed to cause him to shiver in response.
        "I'm sorry..." he muttered and she cooed affectionately.
        "Hush, darling. It's all right. Go to sleep." Fraser finally accepted that she was going to stay and he allowed his eyes to drift closed again, though he did not relinquish his hold on her wrist. She waited until his breathing had returned to a slower, steady pace and his fingers loosened, before careful extracting her arm and placing his empty hand over his chest. She rose quietly and moved back to the desk, switching off the ringer on Fraser's phone, then slid outside, closing the door quietly behind her. Diefenbaker had taken up guard outside and she leaned down to pet him.
        "Don't let anyone bother him." She ordered the wolf in a surprising moment of acceptance for the creature. Diefenbaker whined and settled against the door protectively. "Good boy. I'll bring you a treat later." Diefenbaker seemed content with her promise and rested his head on his paws. Thatcher posted Turnbull at sentry duty, whish left her to answer the majority of the phone calls that came in.
 

        It was noon before the knock sounded at her office door and Fraser, dressed impeccably as always in his red serge, requested permission to speak to her. She quickly slipped her glasses of and allowed him to enter.
        "What is it, Fraser?" she demanded quickly, as always concentrating more on the report she was reading, or squinting at rather, than the beautiful man before her. He cleared his throat, caressed an eyebrow with his thumb and shuffled his feet slightly before speaking.
        "I..ah..Sir. I wish to apologize for my..for not...for neglecting my duties this morning." He finally managed. "I have no excuse and I would full understand any disciplinary action you would care to take regarding my lack of presence." She glanced up at him briefly, he still looked very tired, but better than he had earlier. Her eyes returned to the report and he watched her squint once again to read the words written there.     "Ah...perhaps your glasses..." he began and she looked at him sharply.
        "I don't wear glasses, Fraser." She denied and he nodded contritely.
        "Ah..yes. I'm sorry, my mistake." He stood there for a long time, waiting for her response while she continues to pretend to be able to read the paper in her hands. "Um..Sir?"
        "Yes, Fraser?" she asked distractedly.
        "About this morning, Sir? My punishment?" She glanced at him again, as though surprised, then waved a hand at him.
        "Carry on Constable." She replied finally, her eyes leaving him a third time. "Relieve Turnbull until your shift ends." Fraser regarded her curious, he had been expecting a dressing down, forms to fill out in triplicate, or perhaps ordered to Sentry duty for the rest of the week, but she had not made the slightest effort to reprimand him for sleeping in. She noticed that he was still there. "You're dismissed, Fraser."
        "Yes, Sir." He replied quickly, not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, as Ray would say, and he started to move toward the door. "Thank you kindly, Sir." Just as he stepped over the threshold she raised her head again.
        "Fraser?" he turned back to her.
        "Yes, Sir?"
        "Don't let it happen again." Fraser nodded.
        "Understood." He agreed and she again continued to read as he started to close her door. As soon as it clicked shut she reached for her glasses again. She may have to invest in contacts one of these days, she thought grimly as she turned back to her report.

        Fraser and Ray were leaned over either side of Francesca's as she retrieved some information for them, Ray whispered something in her ear and she smiled secretly as Fraser leaned behind her to whisper in turn to Ray.
         "I don't believe that is physically possible, Ray." Francesca blushed as Ray shook his head, he'd forgotten about old Eagle ears. He grinned and squeezed Frannie's shoulder affectionately.
         "He's just jealous because he hasn't tried it." He assured her making the Mountie blush and Francesca giggled. Welsh barked for Ray and he left to answer his superior's call. Fraser offered Francesca a small smile as she printed up the information they needed.
         "You two are getting along well, I see." He remarked softly and she returned his smile as she handed him the sheet.
         "Yah," she sighed. "I just wish I didn't have ta pretend he was my brother and we could stop this secret meeting stuff." Fraser nodded in understanding as he watched Francesca's gaze drift across to where the man she loved spoke with Welsh outside his office. Fraser followed her gaze, just as Stella Kowalski strode past them in a tailored outfit and smelling of expensive perfume. She approached the Lieutenant, interrupting his conversation with Ray, who glanced up at her approach with a smile. She returned his smile as she spoke with them, her hand occasionally touching Ray's arm or shoulder as she leaned closer to hear him speak. She laughed at something he said, as did Welsh and Fraser watched Francesca turn away angrily. He wanted to comfort her but he didn't know what to say, he was confused by Ray's behavior toward his ex-wife.
         "Are you all right, Francesca?" he asked gently as she stood up from her desk.
         "C..can we talk, Frase?" she pleaded, tears shining in her eyes and he immediately nodded.
         "Of course." He followed her away from the desk and stepped inside the closet when she opened it. He reached for the light as she closed the door, but she caught his hand.
         "Leave it off." She muttered; preferring the darkness and Fraser complied. He could tell she was on the verge of tears, perhaps she didn't want him to see her crying. In a slow, stumbling voice she told him about Ray and Stella and Fraser listened quietly until she was finished. He handed her a handkerchief, for she was practically sobbing now, whether he could see her well enough or not he knew that at least.
         "What can I do, Francesca?" he offered, ever willing to play the knight in shining armor and rescue the damsel in distress. "Do you..." he shifted what he was about to suggest was very dishonest, especially toward his friend and partner, but he couldn't stand for Francesca to be hurting so. "Do you want to...should we perhaps try to make him realize your importance to him?"
         "Ya mean make him jealous, Frase?" she sniffed surprised.
         "Ah..well, that is one suggestion, it has worked many times before in past situations. In fact history is renown for the use of jealousy as a way to win back a partner and many books support..."
         "I..I don't wanna do that Fraser." She refused softly, touched that he was willing to go to such lengths for her as to pretend to be interested, when she knew how difficult such a thing was for him. "We both know how..well obsessive Ray can get, I don't wanna cause problems between you guys by gettin' him pissed off at ya."  Fraser nodded grateful, trying to think what Ray Vecchio would do in his place, well, Vecchio would try and kill Ray for hurting, Francesca. He couldn't do that, he liked Ray.
         "W..would you like me to..um..." He shuffled and caressed his eyebrow, she knew he was doing this without even seeing him, she knew her Mountie well. When he pulled on his ear and cracked his neck she knew he was nervous. "Would you prefer that I..ah...kick him in the head then?" Francesca laughed.
         "No, Fraser, thanks anyway." Fraser sighed in relief, he hadn't been looking forward to that prospect, and violence was so unbecoming of a Mountie.
         "Oh, good." He replied and she smiled again. Well, at least he had cheered her up somewhat. She stepped closer and gave him a hug.
         "Thanks fer watchin' out fer me though." She praised, glad when he returned her hug with only a brief hesitation.
         "Always, Francesca." He assured, just as the closet door opened and the light that suddenly flooded their surrounding darkness momentarily blinded them. Ray stared at them, his eyes narrowing on their position, causing Francesca and Fraser to quickly step apart.
         "We got work ta do, Fraser." The detective informed coldly. "If yer done playin' post office maybe ya can join me ta try and get more of da criminal element off da street." Fraser stepped out of the closet quickly, followed closely by Francesca.
         "Certainly, Ray." He agreed apprehensively.
         "Ray it's not..." Francesca had started to say but Ray was already headed away from her, not  bothering to wait and see if Fraser would follow. She shot the Mountie a pleading look and he offered her a reassuring smile.
         "I'll explain it to him Francesca." He promised heading after his partner.
 

         Fraser didn't get a chance to broach the subject until Ray was driving him back to the Consulate after they had finished booking their latest suspects. Ray had been coldly silent with him, speaking only when he had to and then he would  practically take Fraser's head off with his tone of voice.
         "I'd like to talk with you for a moment, Ray." Fraser finally requested as they pulled up outside the Consulate. "Will you come inside for a moment?" Ray looked like he was about to refuse, but then he switched off the engine and got out as Fraser pulled the seat forward to allow Diefenbaker out of the back. They climbed the steps and Fraser unlocked the door, then secured it behind them once they were inside. He switched on some lights and dropped his hat on the nearest desk.  Ray automatically handed the Mountie his weapons, knowing even this late at night, that Fraser would follow the rule of not bringing firearms into Canada, even though Technically they were in Chicago, the Canadians didn't see it that way.  Fraser secured the detective's weapons in a drawer and turned to him. "Would you like something to drink, Ray?"
         "Sure." The detective muttered, feeling naked without his guns, and followed the Mountie to the Consulate's kitchen, where Fraser prepared coffee for Ray and a cup of tea for himself. Ray settled at the small table and stared at the contents of his cup stubbornly, not meeting his partner's gaze. Fraser put a bowl of food down for Dief then settled opposite the American.
         "I'd like to explain the situation earlier today, Ray." Fraser finally continued. There is nothing going on between Francesca and myself." Ray grunted and played with his cup.
         "Yah, I could really see dat, Fraser." He spat sarcastically and Fraser sighed.
         "She wanted to speak privately, so we went to the closet, it seems to be the preferred room for quiet chats, in fact we have used it as did the real Ray Vecchio and myself on many occasions. Why I remember once..."
     "Fraser!" Ray exclaimed agitated. "I don't wanna hear about you and Vecchio." His eyes narrowed. "Either Vecchio, ya got me?"
         "It isn't what you are thinking, Ray." Fraser protested, determined to get through to his partner's stubbornness. "She saw you with Stella and it upset her. She merely wanted to go somewhere private where she could..." He didn't know if he should tell Ray that Francesca had been crying, so instead he said. "Be alone with her thoughts for a few minutes."
         "Gee Fraser, I always thought alone meant by yerself." Ray retorted. "So why da hell were you in dere wit her? Moral support?"
         "Yes, Ray." Fraser admitted calmly and Ray glared at him. "She needed a..what do you call it? A sounding board and I was the closest she could find. You were otherwise occupied laughing it up with your ex-wife." Ray's head shot up and he stared at Fraser suspiciously.
        "What's dat supposed ta mean?" he demanded, but Fraser was untouched by his sudden hostility.
         "I was merely stating a fact, Ray." He assured freely. "Francesca was upset and I was comforting her. There was nothing sexual or romantic between us, Ray, as you well know I do not view Francesca in that way. She is my friend and a special person, I wish only to protect her."
         "Protect her from what, Fraser?" Ray charged. "From me?" Fraser nodded, surprising him.
         "If need be, yes." He admitted quietly. Ray gaped at him, shocked.
         "I'd never hurt, Frannie, Frase." He denied quickly.
         "You are hurting her, Ray." Fraser concluded subdued. "She sees you with Stella and it hurts her." Fraser released a deep breath and pulled at his ear. "You can't expect her to wait for ever, Ray. She's a beautiful, passionate, vibrant young woman and it isn't fair to make her doubt herself by waiting while you decide who you love more." Ray stared at him; surprised the Mountie had even the guts to say something about it, to discuss something he usually considered too intimate or inappropriate. Still, it galled him to have Fraser tell him how to live his life.
         "If she's so great why don't you go after her then?'" he suggested hotly.
         "Because she is in love with my best friend." Fraser reasoned delicately and Ray's face went completely blank for a moment. Finally he looked away and stared at his untouched coffee. Fraser reached across the table and placed his hand gently over Ray's, causing the detective to glance up at him again questioningly. He could see the fear and confusion in his eyes and he ached to make things better for him.
         "I..I dunno what to do, Fraser." Ray sighed suddenly and his angry mask crumbled despairingly. "I do love Frannie, but Stella...well, Stella is...Stella." Fraser nodded he understood how deeply Ray's feelings went for his ex-wife. He also suspected that she would only hurt his partner again, should he return to her.
         "I am certainly not one to give advice on relationships, Ray." He stated grimly and Ray smiled a little.
         "Ya been doin' pretty damn good so far, tellin' me what a jerk I'm bein'." Ray commented, turning his hand over and folding it against Fraser's. It was strange to be holding a man's hand like this, but at the same time it felt right and for once Fraser wasn't resisting the intimate contact, in fact he had initiated it.
         "Ray. Ray. Ray." Fraser sighed and Kowalski grinned.
         "Yep, dat's my name." Fraser's lips twitched but didn't form a smile.
         "You have to do what is right for you." Fraser insisted wisely.
         "How do I know what dat is, Frase?"
         "Consider what is more important to you." Fraser suggested. "With Stella you will have everything you had once before, it will be familiar, comfortable, acceptable." Fraser hoped Ray understood that everything meant the bad things that came with Stella as well, her constant criticizing, her undermining Ray's own importance, accepting him as only second to her job and whatever else she needs for her career. Fraser felt bad judging the woman this harshly, but she had not yet given him cause to change his opinion of her.
         "And with Frannie?" Ray asked quietly.
         "Well, Francesca is...." Fraser paused contemplating.
         "A chatterbox." Ray supplied.
         "Friendly. " Fraser amended.
         "Loud."
         "Articulated
         "Stubborn."
         "Persistent."
         "Opinionated."
         "Honest."
         "Violent." Ray pressed grinning and Fraser paused, knowing he couldn't argue that. He changed tactics instead.
         "With Francesca it will depend on how you approach the relationship, I imagine." Fraser admitted. "I don't pretend to understand women, especially Francesca Vecchio, but I do know that she had an...inner light. She sparkles, Ray. Yes sometimes she can be quite annoying and frustrating, but that is part of what makes her unique. I suspect a relationship with her would be surprising and somewhat volatile at times." He smiled. "I don't know that with both of your tempers you may not just clash and explode one day in a fiery display of light." Ray chuckled.
         "Yah, Frannie's explosive all right." He agreed. "It would never be boring dats fer sure." He frowned. "But I'm supposed ta be pretendin' ta be her brother, Fraser. We can't be seen goin together, it would blow Vecchio's cover."
         "So you carry on secretly." Fraser surmised. "There is nothing more exciting then a forbidden relationship Ray, all the books say so."
        "Is dat what you and Thatcher got, ol' buddy?' Ray countered grinning. "A forbidden relationship?" Fraser stiffened and blushed.
         "We are not discussing Inspector Thatcher and myself, Ray." He determined firmly.
         "Why ain't we?" rebuked Ray amused. "How come we can talk about my love life and not yers?" Fraser pulled his hand away and stood to carry his cold tea over to the sink. He muttered something under his breath as he emptied the contents of the cup.
         "What was dat, Fraser?" Ray asked from directly behind him and he jumped slightly at finding the detective so close, he hadn't even heard him move! Sometimes his partner's stealth like abilities got the better of him and he didn't like it, not one bit.
         "I said. " Fraser repeated, knowing the Ray wouldn't let the subject drop until Fraser answered him. "That in order to discuss one's love life, one must have a love life, Ray." Ray chuckled and dumped his coffee into the sink setting his cup next to Fraser's empty one, the he hopped up on the counter and pulled a toothpick from the small cup beside him, propping it between his lips.
         "We should do something about dat den." He decided boldly and Fraser huffed at him, his tone an octave higher when he spoke again, a sign that he was either irritated or amused by Ray's words.
         "Oh, yes." He agreed saucily. "Your love life is so much better that you need to start messing with mine." Ray laughed in delight at getting his Mountie worked up, it was so rare that he was able to. He liked it when Fraser turned playful, it was a whole different side to the Canadian and though Fraser would never admit to being ill mannered enough for sarcasm, Ray sensed when he was very close to crossing the line into Ray's world of satirical overtures.
         "Maybe I should get in a closet wit da Ice Queen and see if we can get yer dander up." Ray teased. "Turn about is fair play after all." Fraser  shot him a bold look.
         "I have no doubt that should you find yourself in a closet with my superior officer, Ray." He began. "You would be pleading for your own life within minutes." Ray grinned.
         "Are ya sayin' she's violent, Fraser?"
         "No," he countered easily. "Merely immune to your type of shanagins and would deal with you appropriately." Fraser released a loud sigh and moved from the kitchen. "How on earth did we even come to discus Inspector Thatcher anyway? We were talking about you, Ray." Ray jumped off the counter and followed his friend.
         "Yah, but it's more fun discussin' you, Frase." Fraser shook his head as he retrieved his hat and headed for his office.
         "Seriously Ray," he said as he opened his door and switched on the light. "You really do need to decide, you are going to end up hurting one of them, surely, but you can't keep delaying it like this, it isn't right." Ray sighed and dropped onto Fraser's cot, careful to avoid Diefenbaker who had jumped up and already snuggled down for the night.
         "I know." He replied quietly, playing with the toothpick in his mouth as Fraser began to unbuckle the straps and fasteners that held his Sam Brown and tunic in place. "I'm sorry fer jumpin' on ya today about Frannie."
         "You care for her, Ray." Fraser concluded gently as he folded his tunic and set it on his desk. "It is perfectly natural to be jealous."
         "Yah, but I shoulda known you'd never....well y'know." Ray shrugged. "I guess I'm a little touchy about dat, I mean Frannie had it bad fer ya for a long time, Frase. Who's ta say she won't, ya know, want ya again if ya give her any encouragement?' Fraser shook his head.
         "Because, Ray." He reasoned. "She is in love with you." He frowned. "Why do you doubt that so easily? Aren't you sure how you feel about Francesca? Don't you love her?" Fraser was stunned to find himself talking so easily about such delicate matters. His Father would never approve, he though grimly.
        He glanced at Ray who was contemplating his words and almost smiled. Ray made it easier, with Ray he knew he could say anything and his friend would not judge him, that he would remain his friend and partner. The knowledge that Fraser had accepted him so fully in his life suddenly frightened him. What about rejection? What if Ray decided he didn't want to be his partner anymore? What if Fraser got transferred back to Canada, would he and Ray still be close? What if Ray betrayed him, like so many other s had? What if..."
         "For God's sake son!" His father exclaimed gruffly from behind him and Fraser twirled around to look at him startled. "Stop annualizing every little thing. Nothing lasts forever, just accept what you have for today and forget the rest. The yank won't let you down, not like the others, he's a keeper son." Fraser Sr. smiled. "Why, he's practically Canadian." Fraser stared at his father in horror, then back at Ray, who was still musing, while he scratched Diefenbaker's ears.
         "Who are you and what did you do with my Father?" Fraser muttered to the ghost quietly. Fraser Sr. huffed indignantly.
         "Really, Son, I can have a opinion." He stated. "I may be dead, but even I can see the yank is good for you." Robert Fraser adjusted his hat appropriately and sniffed. "If you could just get him to speak like a normal person and perhaps dress a little more appropriately he'd be just wonderful." The ghost smirked. "Although I do find those colorful phrases of his amusing. I remember old Tom Jordan, mouth like a sailor but he could certainly wow the ladies. Why I remember one time we..."
         "Later, Dad." Fraser hissed, glancing to see if Ray was hearing their interaction, or rather Fraser's side anyway, but the blond had lain back on the cot beside the wolf with his eyes closed. Fraser wondered if he was asleep, it had been a long day. He turned back to address his Father and found him gone. "He comes he goes..." Fraser muttered to himself as he moved toward Ray, gently shaking him awake.
         "Wa?" Ray stared up at him, dazed.
         "If you're very tired Ray, you are welcome to stay here tonight." Fraser informed. "But you might wish to undress and get under the covers the temperature is dropping outside." Ray pulled himself into a sitting position with a tired moan.
         "No, I'll go, Fraser." He decided, but when he tried to stand, Fraser had to catch him before he fell backwards.
         "You are too tired, Ray." He insisted. "Stay here tonight. Allow me to return the favor for my staying at your place the other night." Ray grumbled and dropped back on the cot.
         "Yah, but at least I had a bed and a couch, Frase." He protested. "This place you sleep in is so small ya gotta leave da room to change yer mind." Fraser chuckled and tossed an extra blanket at his friend then moved to prepare his bedroll. "At least let me take da floor, Fraser."
         "Nonsense, Ray." Fraser deflected stretching the bag out close to the window. "You would only hurt your back and besides I prefer the floor." Ray shrugged; knowing it was useless to argue and started to pull off his boots, just as knock sounded at the front door of the Consulate. Both men glanced up surprised, for it was rather late for a visit. They both stood and went to the door.
         "Gimmie my guns, Fraser." He whispered as they neared the door.
         "There is no evidence the person at the door is even a threat, Ray.'" Fraser persisted as he moved to unlatch the lock; glad he had only had time to remove his tunic before their visitor appeared.
         "But if they are I can help." Ray insisted, but Fraser was already sliding back the lock and opening the heavy wooden door. A woman, pulling the folds of her coat closer around her in the dropping temperature, glanced up at Fraser relieved. A thin, colorful scarf covered her hair, and her eyes were a deep dark green.
         "Welcome to Canada, Miss. I am Constable Fraser." Fraser greeted moving back so she could step inside and he could close the door on the cold. "Are you injured? How may we be of assistance?" She allowed him to take her coat as she pulled the scarf from her hair and allowed a waterfall of flaxen blond hair too fall about her shoulders.
         "T...thank you." She stammered, rubbing her arms over her sweatshirt sleeves in an effort to get warm. "I...I didn't know if anyone would be here. I...I lost my passport and purse on the train in and I...I asked if there was a Canadian Consulate nearby. The driver of a cab b...brought me here."
         "Well, well certainly do everything we can for you." Fraser assured quickly. "But first allow me to fix you some tea, it will warm you right up." She smiled.
         "T...thank you." She said following Fraser to the kitchen, Ray walked close behind them. She accepted a cup of steaming chamomile tea from the Mountie a few moments later and they all settled at the table. "My name is Sandra King." She offered sipping the tea and allowing it to warm her insides for a moment.
         "It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. King." Fraser announced kindly then introduced Ray, who smiled at her. She stared at him, having visibly paled and his smile faltered.
         "Is somethin' wrong?" he asked quickly and she shook her head.
         "No." she returned still staring at him. "You just...well you look familiar." Ray shrugged.
         "I got dat kinda face." He offered easily as Fraser retrieved a can of soup form the cupboard and set about fixing it.
         "We only have vegetable, is that alright?' he inquired and she finally turned her attention to him.
         "Please, don't go to any trouble." She began.
         "It is no trouble." He assured quickly as he stirred the soup. "You need something else to warm you so you don't become ill." She smiled again, her frozen fingers wrapping around her cup gingerly.
         "Thank you." She returned gratefully, then turned back to Ray as he rose from the table.
         "I'm pretty awake now, Frase." He commented. "I think I'll head back ta my place." Fraser turned from the stove.
         "Are you sure, Ray?" he countered doubtful and the detective nodded.
         "Yah, if ya'll get my...er equipment." He shot the Mountie a meaningful look, not wanting to say guns in the woman's presence incase she became worried.
         "Of course, Ray." he replied, then to Sandra. "If you will excuse us, Ms. King, it will only take a moment." She nodded.
         "Yes, Of course Constable." She returned, rising to catch Ray's arm as he turned to follow Fraser. "Are you sure we don't know each other? Have you ever been to Canada?" Ray shook his head.
         "Only once and dat was on an assignment." He stated grinning. "I'd a remembered if I'd met someone dat looked like you, trust me." She blushed and released his arm.
         "Yes, of course." she murmured. "Thank you." He nodded and went out. She stared after him, wondering why he seemed so familiar. She shrugged and returned to the table to finish her tea.

 
          Ray had just started to get out of the GTO when Fraser jogged down the steps, dressed in his casuals, a white turtleneck sweater, blue jeans, boots and worn brown leather jacket. His Stetson of course, met the dashboard the minute he climbed in beside his partner.
         "I know it is our day off, Ray." He commented as Ray pulled out into traffic. "But would be so kind as to stop by the Dorchestor hotel so that I might give Ms. King her papers and passport? They just arrived this morning and I am sure she would appreciate having them."
         "Sure, Fraser." Ray replied easily. "Da game doesn't start fer another hour or so." Fraser nodded gratefully, he and Ray had planed to take in a hockey game at the local stadium, the detective did like the ice sport, much more than curling Fraser thought amused. They pulled up at the hotel a few minutes and both went inside. They rode the elevator to the fifth floor, stepped into the corridor and headed for room 503. Fraser knocked on the door and it was answered a moment later my Sandra wearing only a long terry cloth robe and a towel around her hair, obviously she had just come from the shower. Fraser stammered embarrassed.
         "Ah...I am sorry to intrude...er...Ms. King. But I thought that perhaps you would like your papers. They came today." She smiled at them and opened the door wider so they could step inside.
         "Thank you, Fraser." She returned as she led them into the large sitting area. "Hello, Ray." The detective didn't answer her he was staring at her intently. "Ray?" Her hand went to her face. "Do I have soap on my face still?"
         "Yer eyes." He murmured dazed and she smiled and nodded.
         "I wear contacts." She explained as Fraser found himself examining the now pale blue color of her eyes curious as she continued. "I figured I may as well have different colors since I have to wear them." Both men continued to stare at her, and Fraser suspected there was something very familiar about that particular shade of blue. He glanced at his partner suddenly and was shocked to see the same eyes starring back at him.
         "What, Fraser?" he asked startled by the Mounties sudden scrutiny. Fraser looked from one to the other. No, it was just a coincidence, after all, this woman was a Canadian and...He shook his head again.
         "Nothing Ray." He assured offering Sandra the folder he had brought with him and his eye caught the sparkle of medal as she reached for it and her wrist was exposed from underneath the heavy wool of the robe. Ray suddenly grabbed her wrist and she jerked startled.
         "W...where did you get this?" he demanded hoarsely and she stared at him somewhat frightened, as she pulled her arm away.
         "I've always had it." She defended rubbing her wrist tenderly. "Why?"
         "W...what did ya say yer name was?" he asked and she glanced at Fraser confused.
         "S...Sandra King."
         "Are ya sure dat's yer name?' Ray was looking at her with such intensity she felt her skin burn from his gaze. Again she looked to Fraser, who seemed equally bothered, as he watched them quietly.
         "I...I...yes, I'm sure." She managed. "Why?" Ray moved up the cuff of his jacket and showed her his silver bracelet; identical to the one she was wearing. She stared at it, almost touched it the snatched her hand away. "T...they're common enough." She remarked as Ray unfastened his and showed her the engraving.
         "Does....does yers have...are the initials SRK?" he managed, tears causing his throat to close up and make it difficult to speak. She stepped back as though he had slapped her.
         "H...how do you know?" she shook her head appalled, her skin had gone pale. "N...No one knows that?" Ray was shaking now as a single tear ran down his cheek.
         "Oh God!" He couldn't take his eyes off of her. "OH GOD!"  Fraser cleared his throat and stepped forward.
         "Sandra, can you tell us...where were you born?"
         "I...I don't know exactly, I assumed somewhere in Canada where ..." Ray was watching her so closely now, he looked...shocked. She glanced back at Fraser. "I...I was found in an abandoned building in Vancouver. I...I had nothing with me, except this." She held up the wrist that had the bracelet. "I assumed those initials were mine so the people that found me decided that my name was Sandra King, like the initials...I.I don't know what the R stands for."
         "Raymond." Ray whispered in wonder. "I...it stands fer S...Stanley R...Raymond Kowalski." She stared at him dumbfounded.
         "I...I thought your name was Ray Vecchio?" she countered confused and Ray shook his head as Fraser explained.
        "It's a difficult situation that we cannot really go into, " he stated. "But his name is really Stanley Ray Kowalski."
         "S...Stanley Ray?" she repeated licking her lips nervously. "It...it sounds...familiar but I..."
        "Were you the victim of amnesia, Sandra?' Fraser asked gently and she nodded excitement and fear growing on her face as she stared at Ray.
         "Then...you know me! You know my name...my real name?" she declared and Ray nodded.
         "Yer name's Silvia Loraine..." He bit his lip, apprehension and self-doubt entering his gaze briefly before he continued. "Kowalski. Yer my twin sister." Sandra stared at him as the pain; the horrible pain centered in her head and the room started to swim. 'Silvia Kowalski...my sister...Stanley Ray..." Pieces of a childhood she had forgotten came flowing back with tremendous force. 'Silvia! Stanley! Dinner time!....I'll never leave ya Silvie...together forever Stanley Ray...I love you Stanley Ray...' Fear assailed her as she saw the little blond boy tossed brutally away from the man attacking her. "Leave my brother alone! You leave him alone! Mama! Daddy! Stanley Ray!' Sandra was unaware that she had voiced her last thought as darkness claimed her and she crumbled before them.
 
 

         Sandra awoke to find Ray Vecchio...no. Not Vecchio...Kowalski, kneeling beside her and running a cool cloth over her forehead, the Mountie stood in the background. She stared into familiar eyes, so much like her own and her lower lip trembled. She had a brother! A twin! She couldn't remember everything else yet, just fragments really, but then the doctors had told her that her memory may never fully return, should she remember anything at all. But she remembered Stanley Ray, beautiful, shy, sweet Stanley Ray who had been her protector, her confidant, and her partner in crime when it came to getting in trouble with their parents. Parents! Were they still alive? Did they know about her? She reached a shaky hand up and touched Ray's cheek, noticing how his eyes closed and he leaned into her touch reverently.
         "Oh Stanley Ray." She cried throwing her arms around him and pulling him into her embrace. Ray's arms wound carefully about her, her position on the sofa preventing a more intimate hug, but he held her anyway, his face turned into her shoulder, his body wracked with trembling sobs. She held him, tears streaming down her own cheeks as she caressed his hair tenderly. Oh, she remembered this. Remembered being held close by her brother, remembered how sensitive he had always been when it came to her. She glanced over at Fraser who had moved toward the window, turned away to give them some privacy, but she watched his hand sneak up and brush at his face and she suspected he was crying as well. Finally Ray pulled back, perhaps so overcome by emotion it was scaring him and so he needed the distance, though he didn't release her completely.
         "I love you Silvie." He whispered,  as he slipped of his bracelet and wrapped it around her wrist. "I w..wanted ta give dis back to ya fer a long time." She watched him fasten it around her, as she removed the other bracelet for him to do so. Then she secured his ID bracelet around his wrist, so they were both wearing their own charms, after over twenty years. He hugged her again then stepped back and helped her to sit up slowly as Fraser returned to them, his eyes clear now.
         "Mama and Daddy?' she asked them suddenly. "Are they...."
         " 'De're still around." Ray assured wryly. "God dey ain't gonna believe dis! Dey never believed me dat ya were still alive, Sil. I told dem but dey thought I was nuts but I knew, I just knew you were out dere somewhere." The idea that her brother had never given up hope of finding her made her both delighted and sad. She had forgotten him, her parents, everything, and had gone on to a new life. Stanley Ray had been waiting all this time too find her and she hadn't even sensed he was out there. Yes, she always felt there was something missing in her life, loneliness she couldn't explain, but she assumed it was because she had no memory of her past.
         "Do you remember anything of how you arrived in Canada, Sandra?" Fraser inquired, ever the one to get down to business and Ray glared at him.
         "Her name's Silvia, Fraser." He reminded firmly.
         "Yes, Ray." Fraser agreed, "But she only just now found that out and it may take some getting used to." Sandra/Silvia nodded and caressed her brother's cheek affectionately, he'd grown up to be so handsome...she smiled. His hair was as independent as ever she noticed.
         "It's alright, Stanley Ray." She assured quickly. "He's right it will take getting used to answering to that name." She smiled at Fraser. "I don't remember very much of anything about before, I'm afraid. I was found in an abandoned building with no memory of how I got there. A Constable found me and he and his wife took me in." She smiled sadly. "Gerald and Robin King. It seemed providence that the initials on my bracelet,  my one identifying belonging, were similar to Mrs. King's, her full name was Robin Sandra King, so that was the name they gave me, Sandra Robin King."
        "That is a remarkable coincidence." Agreed Fraser impressed. "So you did the Kings raise you then?" She nodded.
         "Yes, they were wonderfully patient with me and I...I had considered entering law enforcement." She lowered her eyes, again sadness permeated her features. "But Dad was killed on the job one night, just before I was scheduled to enter the Academy. Mum..." She glanced at Ray, who was listening intently, "I mean Mrs. King took ill and I had to stay and take care of her. Not that I minded I mean I certainly could never repay what they had don for me, and helping her while she was ill was certainly no great sacrifice."
         "So you almost became a Mountie?" Ray asked surprised as he exchanged a glance with his partner.
         "Oh my no!" she laughed shyly. "A Mountie...well, the training was quite different for that type of posting and I...well I didn't think I could manage that as well. No, no... I was just going to be an ordinary constable like Da..um..Mr. King." Ray squeezed her hands reassuringly.
         "It's okay dat ya call dem dat." He whispered. "Dey were yer parents for a long time, dey took care of ya and I..." He his throat closed over, again overcome by emotion. "I'm grateful to dem." She couldn't help herself, she had to hug him again and he smiled and returned her embrace.
         "Anyway." She resumed when they parted again. "Mum died shortly after, the cancer took her and it was a long drawn out battle I'm afraid, three years." She shook her head. "After that I just didn't feel like going to the academy, so I became a teacher instead."
         "Yer a teacher?" Ray asked delighted. "What d'ya teach?"
         "Well, I have a degree in physics and Literature." She announced proudly, for she had worked hard for them. "I teach summer school for the elementary kids during the summer and I work at a local college during the school term."
         "Wow!" remarked Ray astounded. "Ma and Pop will like dat." She smiled a little and patted his hand.
         "I'm sure they are very proud of you, being a police officer is a noble profession, I should know." Ray lowered his eyes after exchanging a quick glance with Fraser.
         "Yah, sure." He muttered, then forced his bitterness back, no time for that now. "Do ya..do ya want to meet dem? Are ya up ta it? Can I tell dem I found ya?"
         "Perhaps we should wait awhile, Ray." Fraser suggested kindly. "San..I mean Silvia's reaction to you was quite upsetting, we don't want to shock her system to much so quickly." Rya nodded chagrinned.
         "Yer right!" he agreed grimly. "I dunno what I was thinking I just....I want dem ta know." Silvia leaned forward and kissed his cheek, though she was anxious to meet her parents, she did feel Fraser was right, the shock would be too much too soon.
         "Maybe after a couple of days." She suggested warmly. "Give us a chance to get to know each other, then we'll face the folks?" Ray smiled secretly and she tilted her head. "What?"
         "Dat's what ya always called dem before..da folks..like dey were someone else's and not ours." She stared at him surprised, perhaps she remembered more than she thought. She offered him a wobbly smile.
         "Shall we wait then?" she suggested and he nodded.
         "You..do ya gotta go back to Canada soon?" suddenly Ray's voice was edged with fear and she shook her head.
         "I'm here on vacation, I have two whole weeks." She smiled. "Isn't it amazing that the first vacation I have ever taken and I decide to come to Chicago?"
         "Perhaps something was drawing you here." Remarked Fraser as he glanced at Ray. "Or someone." Ray grinned at him, though he had to admit, the coincidences were certainly piling up. The fact that he had happened to be at the Consulate when Silvia showed up, that her wallet had been stolen bringing her to the Consulate and that he would have a second opportunity to see her because of Fraser, his partner and a Canadian.
         "Well, yer home now." Ray sighed. "God I can't believe it but ya are. I missed ya so much Sil, I got so much ta tell ya."
         "Perhaps you and your sister should get caught up then, Ray." Fraser commented moving toward the door, Ray was o his feet instantly, remembering they were supposed to spend the day together.
         "What about the game, Frase?" he offered worried, he didn't want to shut his partner out, despite the
day' s revelations.
         "Another time, Ray.' Fraser assured. "This is much more important." He indicated the two of them. "I will see you later."
         "Want me ta drive ya back?"
         "No, I think I'll walk, I have some errands I can do."
         "Wanna take the GTO?"
         "I'll be fine thank you, Ray." He nodded to Silvia. "I will see you later, Silvia." She smiled at him, a familiar, dazzling smile that Fraser recalled seeing on a certain Chicago cop's face more than once.
         "Thank you, Fraser." She whispered. Fraser nodded and left.
 

        Silvia hung back, as Ray and Fraser stood next to her as she got out of the GTO, at the Kowalski's motor home in the RV Park. Ray had called and told his folks yesterday about finding his sister, but now Silvia seemed to be having second thoughts about meeting the parents she no loner remembered. Over the past three days she and Stanley Ray became reacquainted, spending every spare moment together, trying to fill in the gaps of her memory that Silvia lost and the years of her life that Ray had missed.
        She had been married and lost her Marine husband in Desert Storm, she had a little girl, who was staying with her husband's family while she was in Chicago. Her daughter's name was Ramona Estelle King, she had kept her adopted name, even after she was married; her husband had changed his last name to hers in reverence to her wish. Ray felt he would have liked Joseph Walters, the man his sister had fell in love with and married, she claimed Ray reminded her a lot of him.
         "Ready?" Ray asked her gently, his arm around her waist protectively. She offered him a hesitant smile and glanced at Fraser, who they had both insisted come along, for he was the reason they were together again.
        Finally she nodded, just as the door to the trailer opened and the Kowalski's stepped out. Again the nagging pain in Silvia's head started to pound, but it was not as bad as before, because Stanley Ray had prepared her. Barbara Kowalski stepped forward hesitantly as she stared at the woman who was claiming to be her daughter, she saw the connection and similarities between her woman and her son instantly and suddenly she was running, her arms outstretched, reaching for Silvia. They embraced.
         "Oh Mama!" Silvia cried as the older woman shook in her arms, while Ray stood aside to allow them their moment. Barbara cried and hugged her daughter, murmuring endearments of love over and over as Ray's eyes met his Father's over their heads.
         Derek Kowalski was pale and rigid, as he stared at his wife and the other woman. Finally he set his jaw and shook his head, then climbed back inside the trailer, slamming the door behind him. Silvia exchanged a startled look with her brother, who after a moment's hesitation followed his Father inside. The older man had turned away from his son, the moment he entered, but then Ray mused wryly, he usually did.
         "Don't you want ta say hello to yer daughter, Dad?" Ray accused, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. How dare the man turn dismiss Silvia like that, after all she had been through. It was fine if he wanted to treat his son like that, but Ray wasn't going to stand for it with Silvia.
         "Ain't my daughter." His father informed pulling a beer from the small fridge and popping it open. "My daughter's dead. Dat woman out there is an imposter." Ray clenched and unclenched his hands, it was so difficult to talk to this man, and Ray always felt like a bad little boy being about to be sent to his room if he said the wrong thing.
         "She is Silvie, Dad." He stated firmly. "We checked her out with fingerprints and records, she is my sister and she is yer daughter."
         "NO!" Derek Kowalski denied turning to face his son. "She can't be our Silvia! Our baby died! They took her away and they killed her son, they killed yer sister..they... they must've because...because..." Derek turned away again, shaking and Ray started at him shocked.
         "Because why, Dad?' he demanded quietly, taking an uncomfortable step toward his Father. "Because they didn't find her? Because you and Mom gave up looking?" He was growing angry now. "Silvie has ta be dead because you can't believe she's been alive all these years when you didn't bother to try and find her? Dat ya made a mistake?" So much anger filling him, all the rage he had swallowed over the years in trying to be what his father had wanted him to be, so much disappointment and disillusionment roaring up inside him that he was shaking with the effort to contain it all.
         "Don't you talk to me that way!" His Father snapped but Ray was too far-gone to listen.
         "Why does she have ta be dead, Dad?" He pressed. "Because you say so? Because ya can't admit dat just once, I was right about somethin'? Because ya never shoulda left us alone in da first place?" Derek Kowalski took a menacing step toward his son.
         "Shut up! Shut up damn you!" He screamed, unaware that the door had opened and the others stood watching. "It's yer fault! All yer fault! You should've protected her she was yer sister!"
         "I was eight years old!" Ray screamed back at him. "I was just a kid you sonofabitch!" Ray's head reared backwards from his Father's blow, and Silvia and Barbara cried out in surprise and horror, as Ray struggled to remain upright. He wiped the blood from his mouth, and shook off his Mother's pleading arm as he pushed past them and stumbled out of the trailer. Everyone stared at Derek Kowalski, who was staring at his curled fist as though it were a foreign object. He started to move toward the door but Fraser blocked his exit, his blue eyes cold and menacing as he stared down at the older man.
         "Leave Ray alone." He warned.
         "He's my son!" the man declared. "Don't you interfere."
         "Yes, he is your son." Fraser agreed grimly. "Perhaps you start treating him like one. I will tend to Ray, he is my friend and I will not have you hurt him again, I do not care who you are." Derek Kowalski stared at the Mounties departing back, then turned regretfully back to his wife and daughter.

         Fraser found Ray a short distance away, skipping rocks across the small pond of the park, and he could see his partner was still shaking with anger and shock.
         "Ray?' Fraser questioned quietly, as he approached him, but Ray didn't turn to greet him.
         "Go 'way Fraser." He muttered gruffly and Fraser could tell that he was crying. "I ain't in da mood ta talk."
         "Then we won't talk." Fraser agreed amiably as he remained a few steps away, so as not to crowd his friend. "We'll just stand here and...think." Ray paused in mid throw, then flicked his wrist and watched the rock skip, one...two...three...four times across the surface of the water. They stood silently for awhile, then Ray bent to retrieve more rocks and Fraser took the opportunity to speak again, and explaining if he angled his wrist just slightly to the left the rock would skip further. He demonstrated with a rock of his own then looked to Ray, who for once didn't seem to mind the correction. He tossed his rock and watched it skip six almost seven times across the water. He offered Fraser a tiny smile and the Mountie did not comment on his friend's tear stained face or the dark bruise that was forming around Ray's mouth.
         "Cool. Thanks Frase." Was all the detective said, but for Fraser it was enough, for now. After awhile, Fraser made the comment that they should head back and Ray agreed. Fraser dipped his handkerchief inside the cool water and offered it to his partner, who accepted it wryly and wiped at his face, then handed it back to the Mountie. "Thanks." Fraser nodded and they returned to the Kowalski's trailer.
         Ray didn't go inside, he leaned against the GTO and asked of Fraser would ask Silvia to come out for a moment. Fraser nodded and knocked on the trailer door. Mrs. Kowalski opened it and immediately started toward her son, but Fraser shook his head in warning, knowing Ray wouldn't be up to dealing with her at the moment. She nodded sadly and allowed Silvia to step outside with Fraser and closed the door.
         "Are you okay?" she asked the moment she approached her brother, moving to put her arms around him, but he backed away and folded his arms protectively across his chest. She dropped her arms back to her sides in despair.
         "We're gonna take off." He told her, not quite meeting her eyes. "I'll come back and pick ya up after supper, around six maybe."
         "I'll go with you..." she protested and he shook his head and finally met her eyes, offering her a shy smile.
         "Give em a chance ta visit wit ya, Sil." He suggested his head tossed toward his parent's trailer. "I've had ya all week, it's de're turn."
         "But Ray, he..." she had started to just call him by his middle name, after he explained his undercover assignment would be blown if she continued to call him Stanley Ray as she had before. He shook his head, seeming to know what she was going to say before she could finish, their connection was obvious.
         "He didn't mean it, Sil." He assured grimly. "He never does. It's just...we don't get along to well. I shouldn'ta said dat ta him, it was disrespectful."
         "That is no reason for him to hit you, Ray." She declared upset.
         "Just..just let it be, Sil." He sighed wearily. "It's de way it is now. Maybe...maybe he'll be better now dat yer home again." Ray shrugged and unfolded his arms to give her a brief hug. "I'll be back around six. Give em a chance, okay?" She nodded and watched him climb in behind the wheel as she exchanged a frustrated glance with Fraser.
        "How can he defend..." she began
         "It is the way Ray is." Fraser commented quietly. "When he loves someone he loves them unconditionally and whole heartedly. If there are problems in the relationship, Ray takes the blame for it, I don't pretend to understand why." He had seen the detective do it with his parents, with Stella, and even with himself..when Fraser had gotten him particularly aggravated. She shook her head as Barbara opened the door to the trailer and saw that her son was leaving. She hurried down the steps as Ray gunned the engine, indicating it was time Fraser got into the vehicle or be left behind. Silvia smiled sadly at him as he said goodbye and climbed into the passenger seat as Barbara rounded the car to Ray's side.
         "Stanley!" she cried reaching a hand through the window he had rolled down, to touch his face endearingly. "Don't leave sweetheart, please. Your Father is sorry he didn't mean it please stay and I'll make your favorite for dinner and..." Her lower lip trembled as tears filled her eyes. "Please son, don't go away angry like this." Ray grasped her hand and kissed the back of her fingers affectionately, as he attempted to smile at her.
         "I'm not angry, Ma." He lied. "I'll be back ta pick Silvie up later, me and Fraser have things to do." Barbara Kowalski glanced past her son to the Canadian beside him.
         "You'll take care of him, won't you, Benton?" she questioned urgently. "You'll bring my boy back won't you?" Fraser nodded.
         "Yes ma'am." Fraser assured her as Ray offered him a small smile, then noticed his Father staring at them from the trailer door and he returned his gaze to his mother.
         "I'll be back." He promised as she leaned down to kiss him goodbye. "We gotta go." She sniffed and stepped back, as Silvia approached her and wrapped an arm around her Mother's shoulders; watching the two men drive away.
 

         Ray glanced up as a knock sounded at his apartment door, barely heard over the music he had blasting, while he attempted to finish cleaning his guns. He removed the swatch from the barrel of his main weapon and placed it on the table next to the other open pieces of the gun, and rose from the sofa.  He lowered the volume on his stereo as his visitor knocked again, probably it was Fraser, since Frannie said she wouldn't be by to cook dinner until seven and it was only now a little before six. He opened the door with a grin, expecting to see his partner's handsome face, and was shocked when Derek Kowalski stared back at him instead. His smile faltered and he stepped back startled.
         "D..dad?" he greeted surprised. He had not seen his Father since the incident at the trailer almost a week ago. Silvia had returned to Canada, but only to collect her things and her daughter and sell her house, so she could move to Chicago to be closer to her family. She had already applied and been accepted at one of the major colleges here and Ray was looking forward to her return, especially since he now had a niece that he would finally meet and probably spoil to death once he got hold of her.
         "Hello Son." Derek returned gruffly, obviously just as uncomfortable with the situation as was his son. Ray stared at him a moment longer then stepped back, his Father had never come to his apartment. His Mother came by one a week to clean, despite Ray's protest that she didn't have to, but Derek Kowalski had never been there.
         "Um..come in." Ray managed finally and the older men cautiously stepped inside, so Ray could close the door. The tension between them was almost unbearable, especially when Derek noticed Ray's guns laid out on the table and his eyes narrowed, knowing they represented his son's chosen occupation. Ray followed his gaze and quickly went to tidy up the mess, pulling the parts of the weapons  back together with an ease and efficiency that seemed to surprise his father, who had moved to watch them. Ray placed the guns back in his holsters, which were laid out on the table, then put the lot over on the breakfast bar, away from them. For lack of something else to do, he moved across the room and switched off the music. "Is..um..is Mom okay?" Figuring that could be the only possible reason his Father would come to see him.
         "She's fine." Derek assured quietly, glancing around the apartment curiously, anything to keep from having to look at his son, who seemed just as nervous as he was.
         "Um..ya wanna a drink?" Ray offered moving to the kitchen. "I got beer, soda, water and tea." Derek raised an eyebrow.
         "Tea?" Ray grinned sheepishly.
         "I keep it here fer Fraser." He explained. "Oh, an' I got coffee to, just instant though." He also had a bottle of wine but that was for him and Francesca for later.
         "Beer's fine." Derek replied and Ray retrieved two bottles, opened them, and moved back into the living room to hand one to his father. They both took a few swallows.
         "So..." Ray began again, why was it so hard to talk to this one man? He had grilled suspects that were much more frightening, so why couldn't he just talk to his Father? "Did...did Ma send ya here fer somethin' or..."
         "Yer Mother doesn't know I'm here." Derek announced grimly and ray stared at him surprised.
         "Den why...um...." He didn't want to demand why his Father was here, that was rude, though he did wonder. Secretly he was pleased the man had come to see him, why he didn't have to know. He was here, his Father was here standing in his apartment sharing a beer with him and that was something special for Ray. Derek cleared his throat once, twice, then set his beer on the table closest to him.
         "Son, I..." his father sighed and glanced away again, unable to look into eyes that always seemed so bright with emotion, holding a frightened kind of love for the man that treated him so badly at times. Derek was aware that he treated Ray...different then he should. That perhaps his son rubbed him the wrong way, whether it was intentional or deliberate didn't matter, Ray was his son and he could talk to him no better than if he were a complete stranger. He didn't approve of Ray's career choice, the fact that his son would willingly put himself at risk like that was hard for him to understand. It scared him, but he also knew his son was a damned fine cop, a brave man who's only desire was to see justice done and clean up the streets for the good people and kids that lived on them.
         "D'ya wanna sit down, Dad?' Ray suggested, watching his father's  inner struggle. "O..or take a look at the GTO? It's runnin' great I just got 'er detailed and..."
         "No." Derek refused shortly, catching Ray off guard and making him forget what he had been saying. Derek glanced at the hurt and surprise on his son's face and cursed silently. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but the fact that the only thing they ever talked about, even had in common was that damn car.
          He'd brought it back for Ray, thinking they could work on it together, maybe try to repair some of the damage to their relationship, since he had turned his back on his son when Ray entered the academy. But they still weren't talking, all the old hurts kept surfacing and they'd push them back and pretend nothing was wrong, choosing to interact only when it came to the GTO. That godforsaken car that they had built together, which now seemed to come between them, was the only connection they seemed to have.
         "W..what did ya want den, dad?" Ray asked, his curiosity getting the better of him, though his fear and anxiety showed in his voice.
         "Can't I just come by for a visit?" declared Derek angrily. " Yer mother's here all the damned time. I am your father still, aren't I? Or have ya decided ta give up on me all together?" Ray gave him a startled look.
         "I..I...no, Dad, no." he managed taken aback by his father's words. Ray stared down at the bottle in his hands, he didn't know what to say, what to do that wouldn't get his father angry at him again, so he remained silent. They stood there for a long time, neither speaking, until finally Derek cleared his throat again. Better to get this over with, he'd already gone round and round with both Silvia and Barbara about hitting Ray the other day, even the damned Mountie had had something to say about it. Better to say his peace and get it over with so he could leave and his son could relax again.
         "Ray I just wanted to..." Ray's buzzer sounded and he jumped slightly. He put his beer on the counter and went to open the door, his expression softening as Francesca smiled up at him, her tiny arms wrapped around a large paper bag that no doubt held the ingredients for their supper.
         "Hiya bro." She teased, more so for anyone in the hallway that might be listening. They had gotten closer since he and Fraser had talked, though he still hadn't made up his mind about her or Stella. He pulled her inside, took the bag from her and closed the door, then quickly embraced her, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume. "Missed me did ya? Or are ya just really hungry fer my pasta?"
         "Both." He murmured, then remembered suddenly they weren't alone and straightened. He introduced her to his father and Derek Kowalski offered her a pleasant smile as they shook hands and ray brought the groceries into the kitchen.
         "It's nice ta actually meet you." Francesca offered returning his smile. "I've seen ya around the station a couple a times but we never got the chance ta meet, what with Ray's cover and all." Derek nodded in understanding.
         "Yer the fellow he's pretending to be sister, right?" he questioned and Francesca nodded.
         "Yah, so don't tell anybody I'm in love with yer son, it would kinda blow his cover in the lake." Ray grinned and called from the kitchen.
         "Blow it outta da water Frannie." He corrected endearingly, he had grown fond of her unusual misinterpretations, oddly enough.
         "Lake, pond, its all water, Ray."  She dismissed as she smiled again at Derek. "He thinks he's so smart but I know what I'm talkin' about. He just can't stand fer me ta be right."
         "Because yer never right, Frannie." Ray teased as he fished out the cookware she would need for their supper.
         "Shut up, Kowalski." Francesca growled and Derek found himself grinning at their playful banter. "Or ya'll be wearin' supper instead of eatin it." She again smiled at Derek. "Would you like ta stay fer supper, Mr. Kowalski? I'm makin' lasagna." Ray felt the saucepan slip from his grip and clang loudly against the kitchen floor, as both turned to look at him. He lowered his eyes sheepishly and retrieved the pan, placing it on the burner, his back turned toward them.
         "Thank you, Francesca." Derek refused politely, turning away from his son's suddenly rigid posture. "But I imagine my wife will have super waitin' when I get back home. Francesca looked from one man to the other confused. "I'd better go and leave you to kids two to then." He moved to leave and Ray followed quietly.
         "Um..thanks fer comin' by, Dad." He offered as he opened the door for his father. Derek raised his gaze to his for a moment, then looked away again. "W..what was it ya wanted ta say?"
         "Later, son." He muttered solemnly as he stepped out into the hall. Ray watched him go for a moment, knowing they would not talk later and that he had probably blown his one chance at hearing what his father had to say to him, as he watched the older man's shoulder's slump as he stepped into the elevator.
         "Go after him, Ray." Francesca suggested gently, her hand on his shoulder as he stood in the doorway. "Talk to him." Ray shook his head and moved to close the door. No, there was too much unsaid between them, he could not chase after his father, no mater how much he wanted to. Derek Kowalski would view that as a sign of weakness and Ray refused to appear weak in front of the man he respected and loved so much, even when that love and respect was not returned.
 

         "Fraser!" Ray greeted smiling as the Mountie approached his desk at the 27th precinct, dressed for a change in his brown serge. "What's happenin' buddy?" Fraser offered him a small smile, which for Fraser was barely a quirk of his lips.
         "I was relieved early today, Ray." He commented. "I thought you might like to get something too eat." Ray threw down his pen, tossed his unfinished report on top of the other files and grabbed his coat off the back of his chair.
         "I'm all over dat, Fraser." He chuckled, in amazingly good spirits and Fraser couldn't help but be affected, a real smile spreading across his lips.
         "Wonderful, Ray." He remarked as they moved across the station. "Where shall we go? My treat." Ray's eyes rose and he laughed.
         "Now I know it's a great day." He exclaimed shrugging into his jacket as he reached down to pet Diefenbaker. "Da Mounties's buyin' fer a change...now dat I like." Fraser blushed slightly. Ray always made a big deal of teasing him when he offered to pay, though they shared the chore equally for the most part. It was just that most times Fraser hadn't had the chance to get his currency exchanged and many places didn't accept Canadian money, which was what he was paid in.
         "Ray!' a voice called and both men turned toward Stella Kowalski, who was stalking toward them in a flattering blue skirt suit and high heels.
         "Yah, Stella?" he asked, glancing only briefly at Francesca, who was attempting at preoccupied at her desk a few feet away.
         "I need a decision, Ray." She informed, mostly ignoring the courteous greeting Fraser offered her.
         "About what?"
         "I need to know if we're going to go ahead with our plans." She replied. "What we discussed."
         "What plans Stella?" Ray asked confused. Stella sighed in aggravation and pulled him to the side, away from Fraser and lowered her tone, not realizing that the Mountie could still hear what she was saying.
         "Us." she insisted quietly, running her hand intimately along his biceps, unaware that Francesca was literally being held in her seat but the firm, warning hand Fraser had placed on the Italian woman's shoulder.
         "Us?" Ray repeated
         "Yes." She pressed, uncertain if he was really unsure what she was referring to or if he was deliberately teasing her. "I need to know a date, Ray. For the wedding."
         "Stella!" Ray exclaimed and a few heads turned. "Yer gettin' married? Congrats sweetheart." Stella stared at him dumfounded.
         "Not me!" she declared angrily. "We, you moron. You and me, remember? We talked about it weeks ago." Ray stared at her long and hard for a moment, then finally nodded.
         "Oh yah." He agreed, making no attempt to lower his voice. "But I didn't think ya were serious about dat, Stella. I thought ya were just teasin' me, like before."
         "No, Ray." She denied shaking her head, a look of hurt flashing in her eyes and he knew he couldn't do it. He was going to try and make it seem like he had thought it was all a joke, pay backs for the hell she had put him through, but he couldn't hurt her deliberately, he still loved her too much. He lowered his voice and pulled her into one of the interviewing rooms, closing the door and stepping up to caress her cheek tenderly.
         "I'm sorry, Stella." He allowed quietly. "I know what yer talkin' about baby, but I..." he shook his head. "I can't Stella, I'm sorry. I thought I could go back, y'know, make everything right wit ya, but it wasn't just fixin' da things dat were wrong wit our marriage anymore. I...you don't need me, Stell, ya never have and I...I need ta be needed. It'd be good fer awhile and I can't say it ain't temptin' but it wouldn't last and...I don't wanna go back ta dat, Stella. No more fights, no more hurtin' each other."
         "But Ray, I love you." Stella whispered, her lower lip trembling in an effort to keep back her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
         "I love ya to, honey," he admitted softly. "But it ain't meant ta be." She sniffed and pulled back a little.
         "You gave up on me." She decided sadly. "I pushed you away once too often, didn't I. Oh, Ray, please, please give me another chance. I..I know I never gave you any but I..I just know I could be better." She clung to him then.  "I do need you, really I do. I..if you want me to quit my job and stay home I will. I..I'll learn to cook and we can...we can have babies, Ray, lots of them and..."
         "Stella." Ray pleaded, this was breaking his heart to see her so desperate, knowing just how wretched it had made him feel when he was longing for her, willing to do anything for her. He pulled back so he could look at her, lacing his hands on either side of her face, forcing her to return his intense gaze. "Stella I love you, I do. You know that, and because I love ya I can't let ya change everything about yerself ta suit me."
         "You...you did." She sniffed and he shrugged.
         "Dat's me not you." He reminded with a small smile. "I'd have changed anythin' fer ya and ya know it, but yer stronger den me, always have been. Ya had yer life mapped out from the start and I was lucky..." His eyes misted over. "I got ta be a part of dat life, even if it wasn't fer as long as I woulda liked. Ya can't stop bein' you, just fer me, or fer anybody." He smirked as he caught one of her tears with his fingertip. "Yer the Stella. Yer greatness. Ya can't change dat, please don't change dat, not fer me."
         "There's someone else, isn't there?" she accused quietly and Ray sighed.
         "Dis is about me an' you, Stella, no one else." He offered.
         "Do you love her?" Stella asked retrieving a tissue from her purse and wiping at her eyes.
         "Dat ain't fair, Stella."
         "Do you?" she repeated, her voice rising hysterically. "Do you love her more than me?" Ray was silent.   "Answer me damnit! I have the right to know."
         "No." Ray sighed in defeat. "I can't ever love anyone the way I love you Stella." That much was true, his obsession for his ex-wife could never be compared with the feelings he had for Francesca. He watched Stella smile a little, her confidence over him returning slightly.
         "Good." She tossed defiantly and Ray grinned as she retrieved her compact and attempted to repair the damage her tears had done to her makeup. "God I look like a drowned raccoon."
         "Ya look beautiful as always, Stella." He assured pulling out another tissue from the packet in her hand and helping to clear away the dark streaks her mascara had left under her eyes and down her cheeks. She smiled and let him work, remembering how many times he had rescued her from facing the public with ruined makeup-especially after one of their rows.
        He was always the first to concede, the first to show tenderness to her afterwards. He found her concealor and applied it expertly, smoothing it gently into her skin with the tips of his fingers, until the dark smudges no longer showed, then took the compact from her and finished up the job.    She glanced at her reflection in the tiny mirror, as Ray commented.
        "See, beautiful as always."  Stella smiled, no one would be able to tell she had been crying, Ray had rescued her from embarrassment once again.
         "Maybe I should hire you professionally." She teased returning her belongings to her purse. He shrugged and grinned that disarming smile that had first attracted her to him, no one could match that wonderful rebellious, flirtatious grin, not even James Dean himself.
         "Better now?" he asked gently and she nodded, her composure returning.
         "We...we can still be friends, right?" she inquired hopefully. The idea that she had finally succeeded in chasing him away and that he may no longer wish to see her with a new woman in his life frightened her. She had to retain a connection to him, he was too special to let go, even if it would hurt to see him with someone else. She had hurt him though, perhaps now it was her turn to feel rejected and jealous, perhaps she deserved it. She smiled a little, besides, who say's this new woman will even work out, Stella might still have a change to win him back and if she did, she knew it would be worth the wait.
         "Sure, Stella." He finally returned. "Always." She leaned close and kissed him, automatically she started to deepen it, but Ray pulled back and she smiled in acceptance. He belonged to another, for now, but time would tell. She smiled secretly again. Yes, time would tell.
         "I'll see you later then." She offered as they left the room. Ray nodded and watched her turn on her heel and walk away, then he made his way back to Francesca's desk, where Fraser was still waiting for him, both looking expectantly at him. He grinned and grabbed a tablet and pen from the desk as he spoke too Fraser.
        "So, where're we goin' Frase?" he inquired calmly as he scrawled a note on the pad.
         "Wherever you decide, Ray." Fraser offered, somewhat confused by the man's behavior but too polite to say so. Couldn't he see that Francesca was hurting, wondering what had gone on between the detective and his ex-wife? Ray finished his note and ripped the paper off of the pad, dropping it and the pen back on the desk, as he folded it a few times and started to walk away, not even glancing at Francesca, who was watching him concerned.
         "Great." He replied calmly as they headed down the stairs, with Diefenbaker close behind them, and Fraser caressed his right brow concerned.
         "Ray, ah...don't you think..." he had started to say, but then his friend had stopped at the bottom of the stairs and knelt next to Diefenbaker, placing the folded not in the animal's collar and saying something that Fraser couldn't quite make out. The wolf barked and bolted back up the stairs as Ray leaned against the railing and pulled out his keys and propped a toothpick in his mouth.
         "YES!" came a loud, familiar shriek from above them, as the wolf returned and Ray nodded to himself with a slow smile, as he and a still confused Fraser headed outside.

         Francesca Vecchio blushed and settled back in her seat, as everyone stared at her shocked. She lowered her eyes and clutched the tiny note to her chest, then unfolded it and read over Kowalski's bold script again
                             'It's done. I'm yours if you will have me. I love you.'
        She smiled secretly and carefully refolded the paper and placed it in her purse, pushing back a lock of her hair with a shaky hand. He loved her. He had said no to Stella. He wanted to be with her. Ray Kowalski was all hers.
         Welsh glanced over at the pretty civilian aid, the dazzling smile that he was sure would be there for a good while to come, mad his own sly grin fade in comparison. He turned back, deciding not to reprimanding her for screaming in the squad room and almost giving everyone a heart attack in the process, especially him. He moved over and moved the blinds with his fingers to gaze down at the blond detective, Mountie and wolf that stood next to the black GTO, talking animatedly and nodded.
         "Good choice, Kowalski." He muttered knowingly and returned to his desk, no one ever got anything past Welsh, in his precinct.
 

The end..
 
 

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To be continued...