By Anam71

April 2000

NC-17 for M/M slash featuring Benny and the real sweet-smelling Ray.

A little romance/PWP (some angst here and there but not too much?)

Disclaimer: 'Emporio Armani' is actually an expensive men's cologne created by Giorgio Armani of which I don't own because I'm a girl. Benny and Ray are guys I don't own either.

Please E-mail me at: Anam71@aol.com

I don't know

which tree it comes from,

that fragrance.

-by Bashõ (from The Essential Haiku, Trans. & Ed. by Robert Hass; The Ecco Press, 1994.)

Benton Fraser climbed the dark stairs of the old building and quickened his stride to his apartment door as he sensed the presence of his best friend and partner.

He swung his door wide open with some enthusiasm. "Ray?"

Fraser entered a dark and empty apartment but Ray had been here recently. He just knew it.

He can smell him in the air.

A small note lying on his kitchen table confirmed his suspicions and so he picked it up and read it: Ray was sorry he couldn't make it for dinner, Welsh had just assigned him to a stakeout tonight. But he did drop off his Ma's dish, it's in the refrigerator and Benny can help himself to it, and maybe they'll have dinner some other time.

Fraser loudly sighed with the note in his hand.

He was really looking forward to having dinner with Ray in his small apartment; they both had been very busy at work for the past two weeks and hardly saw much of each other. Fraser had more work at the consulate since Inspector Thatcher was out of town, and Ray was working on a very difficult and grisly homicide case.

Tonight was the first night they were going to spend some real time together, a night over Ma Vecchio's lasagna and some of that usual light-hearted bickering they have always shared for the past two years they had known each other.

Fraser opened his refrigerator door and found a large tupperware dish full of pasta enough to last him for an entire week. Despite a hectic schedule, Ray had managed to find some time to drop by and kindly leave it for him to consume. His friend was always doing these sorts of things for him.

But with his friend being absent again, Fraser decided that he wasn't really that hungry now.

But Dief certainly was, and with amber eyes sadly looking up he whined to the larger wolf in red.

*Whine*

"For heaven's sake Diefenbaker, haven't you had enough for today? Do not pretend that I do not know that Constable Turnbull has been feeding you, too. I know he has and do not deny it."

*Whine*

Fraser sighed again and thumbed his left eyebrow; he was getting absolutely no where with the whiny wolf and he was getting no where with Turnbull either. He had repeatedly told the young Constable not to feed Dief, but the man had this weakness for begging lupine eyes and for excessive housekeeping. And with Ray being absent lately, the wolf had officially chosen the gullible Canadian as his benefactor of sweets and treats. Dief whined again when he smelled the pasta and tomatoes wafting through the air.

It was a losing battle on both fronts. Dief and Turnbull deserved each other.

He folded his arms and regarded the wolf sternly. "Very well, Diefenbaker. I will give you some, but this weekend you will have to exercise for an extra hour in the park. I absolutely mean it this time. You are getting soft."

Dief yelped in total agreement. He didn't mind some more time running about in the park. People had their picnics in the park and picnics meant more food.

Fraser reluctantly scooped some of the pasta into Dief's dish and if Ray ever saw him do this he would strangle him.

Ray.

Tonight was supposed to be the night he told Ray that he loved him. He had waited for so long to tell his friend but he could never conjure up the nerve to do so. Now that he had the nerve, somewhat, it was a matter of finding the right place and the right time and the right mood and the... or maybe he still didn't have enough nerve?

But he had to do it soon, all this waiting and worrying was driving him crazy. It was fear that held him back. Not so much the fear of Ray not returning the same deep love that he felt for his friend, but the fear of losing his friendship with Ray altogether.

He just wasn't sure how his friend would react.

Ray was a very generous and forgiving soul as evidenced by his actions regarding the incident with Victoria, but Ray was also a very guarded and traditionally Italian Catholic man, and he may be horrified and disgusted by Fraser's declaration of love.

So there were a number of scenarios that may occur: Ray may run ecstatically and lovingly into his arms, or he can forgive him for his peculiar feelings and still remain his best friend, or he may run out of the apartment screaming and vomiting. Fraser desperately hoped for the first, would settle for the second, and dreaded the third.

Oh God let it be the first!

He placed the food in front of Dief's face and the usually dapper wolf lost all sense of decorum and gobbled the pasta down like a pig. Ma Vecchio's lasagna had that effect on everyone, including arctic wolves.

Fraser shook his head at the deplorable sight and went about the lonely business of preparing himself for the evening and for bed.

Removing his tunic he walked over to his closet and opened the door to retrieve his red long johns neatly hanging along with his pressed dress uniforms and Ray's spare suits.

He instantly looked down to find a knotted pile of fine material and silk on the floor in his closet. Was it actually Ray's suit? Fraser bent down to pick up the tangled clothing and was surprised to find them still quite warm with Ray's body heat.

Ray must have quickly changed into a new spare suit before the stakeout and Fraser had missed him by only minutes.

He was probably in a great hurry to toss his own expensive suit on the floor. The case he was working on must be really important for him to disregard his clothing like this. Fraser wished he had the time to help him on his case.

Ray had unclothed himself in his closet.

Ray was naked in his closet.

Oh dear.

Oh God.

Fraser basically did a nosedive into the fine fabrics, inhaling his friend deeply into his lungs. He never had been drunk in his entire life, but this is how it may possibly feel.

Ray intoxicated him.

Despite the fire in his groin he managed some logical processing of his olfactory senses, cataloguing the various scents that were electrifying his nerve endings. He identified the Indian exoticism of cardamom and vetiver and the sweet earthiness of basil. Concentrating as hard he could despite his precarious state, he was able to distinguish the gentler accents of sandalwood, cedar, and soft musk in the warm fabric.

It was Ray's cologne heated and mixed by his flesh and soul.

Fraser painfully moaned into the clothing pressed in his face, shamefully wondering what it would be like if the clothing were actually replaced by Ray's skin. Oh God, how he wanted to follow the scent with his tongue, lovingly to that beating pressure point where the neck meets the shoulder. To have Ray pulse inside his mouth could be the greatest gift he can ever receive.

Yes, Fraser sadly thought to himself, he was going crazy in his own closet!

He snapped himself out of his reverie and carefully hung up the silk shirt and Armani suit with the delicacy and precision of a neurosurgeon. With a faint sigh he slowly changed into his red long johns and taking one last look at the hanging suit now dissipating Ray's heat, he then gently closed his closet door with the reverence of a devout worshipper.

Fraser crawled into his narrow bed and opened one of his father's journals only to find Ray's beautiful face staring back at him. It was unlikely he was going to be able to read tonight so he gave up before even trying and put the journal aside. And now here he was staring up at the ceiling wishing for the impossible again, a repeat of last night and the night before that. He knew he had to tell Ray soon or he will be wishing for the impossible every night for the rest of his lonely life.

There was a quick light rap on the door and Fraser stirred in his light slumber.

"Hey Benny?"

That familiar voice got him fully awake now, and a dark figure in a long overcoat followed that voice into the apartment. "Benny?"

"Ray."

"Jeez, were you asleep?"

"Actually I was reading one of my father's journals, and I must have dozed off."

Ray looked at his watch. "Damn Benny, it's not even eight yet."

"Oh."

"And what's your sad excuse?" Ray was now glaring down at a fast moving Dief.

The happy white wolf jumped up on Ray frantically pawing him, and instead of pushing the wolf away, Ray suddenly grabbed his furry head and for a strange moment it looked as if he was about to give Dief a deep soul kiss. But instead he merely bent down to smell the wolf's breath and his hazel eyes went wide.

"Benny? You been feeding the fuzzbag my Ma's lasagna?"

"Um, yes Ray." Fraser couldn't tell a lie to his only partner. "Diefenbaker was very hungry and would not stop pestering me. I only gave him a small portion. If it is any consolation, he did enjoy it very much."

Dief licked Ray's right cheek in complete appreciation of his mother's culinary skills.

"Yech! Smelly wolf drool!" Ray grimaced and finally pushed the wolf off his suit.

"Did you have any Fraser?"

"Not yet."

Ray slumped wearily down into a kitchen chair and rested his head on his arms against the table, letting out a long and miserable sigh.

"Ray?"

"I'm glad we finally got this case wrapping up. We just arrested the asshole tonight, thank God! I don't think I could've managed through the whole stakeout, I'm so beat." Another tired sigh and Ray shook his head.

Fraser got up from bed and pulled on his red robe, walking over to his weary friend at the small table.

He sat down across from him to offer his sympathy and was afforded a better view of Ray's face in the dim light. "Ray! What happened to your face?"

Ray's left cheek, otherwise smooth, was marred by a black smear that streaked across the entire side of his face. The skin also appeared a little red and tender and Fraser finally smelled the sharp smoky scent of discharged gunpowder.

"Me and Huey had to wrestle this guy to the ground to cuff him, and the asshole suddenly pulls out this gun and fires it off near my face. I only got some of the blowback, but Welsh made me go to the ER anyway. The doctor says that some of the gunpowder is ingrained into my skin and it will take a while to work its way out. Damn, it stings like hell and I'm going to walk around with this crap on my face for weeks."

"It could have been a lot worse, Ray."

"Yeah, you're right. I would look pretty stupid walking around with no head."

"That's not funny!"

"Jeez Benny, relax!" Ray was staring at him. "Do you see me laughing?"

"I'm sorry Ray. I didn't mean to snap at you."

Ray simply shrugged his shoulders, too tired to fuss over it. "It's okay, I guess."

"I just wish I was there to assist you."

"I'm just glad you weren't, Benny."

"What? Why Ray?"

"Because knowing you Benny, you would walk up to the guy, shake his hand, and kindly reason with him over a cup of tea. The guy we arrested is real a psycho, a real whack job. I don't think he is even human."

Fraser went a little rigid in his seat at that remark and couldn't help hide the resentful hurt in his voice. "So Ray, you are saying that you do not agree with my approach to dealing with questionable suspects..."

"No, I don't agree with you being fucking dead!"

Fraser was now blinking at him in surprise. For a moment it looked as if Ray was going to lunge at him.

But instead, Ray got up from his seat and morosely stared at his friend. "Sorry Fraser, it's just I'm a little burned out and I'm taking it out on you. Shit, I'll just go home and let you go back to sleep." The detective was heading for the door.

"No, Ray. Please stay." Fraser was now out of his seat.

"It's okay Benny, get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"

Fraser was now at Ray's side. "I want you to stay. Please?"

*Whine?*

Ray was now looking at the Mountie and the wolf, both of them expectant and with pleading eyes staring at him. When did he become so popular all of the sudden? He sadly shook his head at their lacking social lives.

"Ah jeez, you two. Okay, okay, I'll stay. Damn."

A very happy Fraser was now nothing but hospitable. "You want some tea Ray?"

"I think you meant coffee, Fraser."

"Um, you want some coffee?"

"Yeah, Benny." Smiling, Ray went to the refrigerator. "What you got to eat here? Hmm, some leftover lasagna that little greedy wolf didn't get to eat."

The detective pulled out two plates from the cupboard.

*Whine!*

"What your problem?"

*Whine!*

"Jesus, Dief! Okay! Okay!"

The detective pulled out three plates from the cupboard and began generously scooping his mother's pasta onto the plates. He then placed the dishes carefully into the oven with the wolf watching his every move, making sure Ray got it exactly right.

Fraser was busy preparing the tea, quietly observing the amusing interaction between his two closest companions. It had been weeks since he felt this cheerful, here with Ray and Diefenbaker in his small apartment, his tiny little space in the world.

He sat himself at the small table, watching the way Ray moved flowingly about the kitchen. He had never met a man with Ray's physique before, incredibly fine and long and graceful. Fraser wondered yet again how it would feel to have that beautiful body twist and turn under him, and maybe on top of him, too. And then he wondered how he could be so sordid to think of his unsuspecting best friend this way.

Ray was now innocently bent over peeking inside the oven, checking on the progress of their dinner and Fraser instantly imagined himself on his hands and knees with Ray curled up tight against his backside, ruthlessly pumping into him. He then looked down and sadly shook his head. Why did he keeping doing this to poor Ray in his own sick mind?

Fraser jumped at his partner's sudden voice and the almost accusatory words: "I'm going to clean myself up, Benny. I'll be back in minute, okay?"

"Sure, Ray."

Ray finally left for the communal bathroom and the Mountie and the wolf quickly got up and began frantically pacing the kitchen in deep and serious thought.

Fraser wondered if now was the best time to tell Ray of his true feelings for him. His best friend just had a bad night at the stakeout and was very exhausted, but Ray's unusual and highly emotional outburst regarding Fraser's handling of criminals really got him thinking. Could Ray possibly have similar feelings for him?

And Dief wondered how he could coax Ray to offer his share of dinner to him after he gobbled up his own plate. Would Ray mind giving him at least a little nibble?

The pacing Mountie and wolf almost tripped over each other in the small confined space and they eagerly looked up as Ray entered the tiny rat trap apartment again.

Ray was looking back at them and he had a funny feeling. Something really strange was definitely in the air, but look at whom he was hanging out with on a Friday night. Duh!

The pasta was warming up in the oven and the lovely aroma quickly distracted him and he happily strolled into the kitchen. "Hmm, actually smells like Ma's kitchen in here, Benny. It no longer smells like wolf butt."

"Really Ray?"

"Yeah." Ray stared closely at him and it seemed that Fraser look a little flustered. Was the Mountie upset by his remark? "You okay, Benny?"

"Yes Ray, I am fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Well Ray, I do need to talk..."

"Oh damn, better check on our dinner!"

Fraser stepped aside and Ray rushed past him to the oven, lightly brushing against him and a sexual pang shot through his core, amazing him. This was going to be a very rough night for the Mountie.

The Italian pulled the hot plates out of the oven with an attentive Dief at his side offering his assistance.

"I believe this is for you, furface." Ray placed the plate down in front of the eager wolf and Dief yelped in pain and looked up whining.

"What? Of course it's hot! You have to wait until it cools."

*Whine*

"Hey, I'm not going to blow on your food. I'm not your mommy."

*Whine*

Ray placed the plates of pasta on the table in front of Fraser and the observant Canadian deeply inhaled.

"Ray, I do believe your mother has used more oregano and sage and less marjoram this time, but the same amount of rosemary and thyme as usual."

"How the hell do you know that? You didn't even taste it."

"Well, I can smell it."

"Oh yeah, I guess you can sniff out anything or anyone, right?"

"Well, you do have a distinct scent Ray, that is uniquely you."

Ray suddenly looked up at him engaged. "I do? Hmm. Well, does that mean you can track me down anywhere?"

"In a very large room or a small enclosed building."

"Yeah?" Ray was now laughing at him. "Even in a crowded room, like the bullpen?"

"Yes Ray, I have actually done so on a number of occasions."

"How with all those stinking bums and smelly felons?"

"Well, I can separate your scent from all others and concentrate on it, very much like one can separate one distinct sound from a cacophony of sounds."

"How about tracking me in the streets like you did with Dief?" Ray was now smirking, offering yet another bait.

"Well, Ray, when I was tracking the scent left behind by Diefenbaker...um, that is to say..."

"Don't worry Benny, I'm not going to start urinating in public."

"When I was talking about your scent Ray, I was referring to the scent of your skin."

"Um, my skin? I kinda figured that." Ray shifted nervously in his seat at the touchy direction this conversation was heading. Maybe he had gone a little too far with this one.

It was time to switch gears.

"So, they actually taught you this sniff and taste thing at the Mountie academy?"

"Well, it was something I have learned from the Inuit hunters up North, although the RCMP do train us in the basic detection skills. I have found it most useful to utilize such specialized faculties since the majority of my posts were in very remote locations quite far from a forensic laboratory, and where time was essential."

"But you are in Chicago now, and the precinct has a pretty good forensic lab. So why even bother?"

"I do need to keep my skills sharp, Ray. And Chicago has afforded me a vast backdrop for me to practice my techniques that I have acquired from the Inuit. Do you object to my methods?"

"Of course not. Although sometimes you can really gross me out, you know? But you just keep on licking and sniffing and I'll just whip out my handcuffs."

"I'm glad you are so accepting of my peculiar techniques and mannerisms when dealing with the criminal subject."

"But it can be excessive at times, and sometimes a little crazy."

"Crazy?"

"Well, I'm only saying why hop out of a window when there is a door? Why run after a moving van when all you have to do is jump into the Riv and we..."

"Usually time can be of essence, and putting off even a few seconds to consider my own comforts can mean letting the suspect escape. I do not consider that crazy."

"You can not always get your man, Benny."

Fraser frowned at this remark, it somehow meaning more to him than catching criminals. Would he ever catch Ray?

"That may be true, but I believe I should endeavor to counteract that fact."

"Look, I just don't like you jumping out of shit and jumping on top of shit and jumping into shit..."

"But what is wrong with my actions when it gets the job accomplished?"

"What is wrong? How about when you fall on your head and get amnesia? Or chase a kid with a purse and catch him pointing a gun at you?"

"Ray, our jobs do come with certain risks."

"Look Benny, you are not permitted to carry a weapon, and that increases your risks. And that blaring red uniform is no help, you're practically target practice with legs. And there you go off running into the unknown with me chasing you, hoping to God that when I turn the corner I won't find you lying dead with a hole in your head."

"I'm sorry if I have caused you any unnecessary distress. I did not mean to be such a burden to you."

"Jesus, you're not a burden! I'm just saying that I sometimes worry about you, okay? That's the way I am, you know? I mean, you are my best friend and you are really my *first* partner and sometimes I worry. Yeah, I had partners before, but they always ran for the hills after working with me for even a day. I have no idea why you even stick around me. I'm not easy to work with, I gotta big mouth, and if anyone was to be a burden around here it should be me."

"I admit that I'm not easy to work with either, Ray. And I never had a partner before, and I have enjoyed working with you on your cases. You have never been a burden to me. In reality, you have been a great help to me. I could not imagine what Chicago would be like if you were not here to be my friend and partner. I truly believe the reason we work so well together is because of our differences, and what the other one lacks the other one can amply provide."

Ray now stood up with his arms crossed over his chest. "And exactly what am I lacking, Fraser?"

"Um Ray, I think our dinner is starting to get cold."

"Hmm, I guess I can let you off the hook this time, after such a touching speech."

"I meant every word I said, Ray."

"Especially the 'what we are lacking part'?"

"Other parts of my speech were just as important."

"Hook, line, and sinker." Ray turned with a smirk to fetch the whistling kettle, and Fraser was glaring at his narrow back.

"Have you just 'baited' me, Ray?"

"Ah! The Mountie is catching on."

"It is good for you, Ray, that I am a very patient man."

"Maybe that's why we're always stuck together, huh? Like crazy glue? And I do emphasize the word *crazy*. Who the hell wants to work with us, anyway?"

"I don't think we are that crazy, Ray."

"Hey, I never told you this, but at one time half the precinct thought we were actually diddling each other."

"What?" Fraser looked up at his friend in unexpected shock. Obviously he wasn't the only one to entertain such explicit thoughts concerning the detective and him.

Ray just simply laughed as he poured hot water into their cups. "Yeah, Elaine told me a number of idiots at the precinct thought we were screwing our brains out in between cases."

"Our brains?"

"Yeah, just because we're always hanging out together, because we're so tight and stuff. You know how people are, Fraser. They have no lives so they go around fucking with the lives of others."

"What exactly did you say to Elaine?"

"Oh? That you were a good lay and was hung like a caribou."

"What!"

"Relax, Benny! Elaine knew I was only joking, jeez! You actually think people would take us seriously enough as to humping each other?"

"Well, I don't see why not!"

"What?" Ray almost dropped his coffee and was staring at him with wide green eyes.

Fraser could not help to stop those dumb words that came so rapidly out of his mouth; it was probably due to his annoyance at Ray at taking this subject so lightly. But now he had said them, and now he had to do some damage control and maybe tell his best friend how he really felt.

"I'm just saying, um, well, since half the staff at the precinct believe that we are intimately involved, that may mean they may not object to such a match. I mean, if we were to... I mean if we were sexually acquainted... that is to say if we ever..."

"Fraser! What the hell are you trying to say?" The detective was now in panic mode.

"People may see things happening between us that we may not see ourselves. Someone from the outside, someone unbiased, may objectively and impartially look upon the many facets of our friendship and see there is something more than just a... friendship."

"Benny!" Ray slowly shook his head. "I have no idea what you talking about."

"Ray, I value your friendship more than my own life, and what I have to tell you may alter what we already share. All I can ask of you is for your understanding, and hopefully for your forgiveness. I just hope we can work out a solution to..."

"Will you just tell me Fraser!"

"Ray, you are the most important person in my life, probably since my mother. You have done so much for me, and everyday that we had spent together the more I have realized how much I needed you." Fraser was now clutching the sides of the table, steeling himself for his next difficult words. "I love you. I am in love with you, Ray."

Ray sat there looking at him in stunned silence; all he wanted was something to eat, and now this! And Fraser sat there waiting for him to rip his head off or something.

"Me? You are in love with me?" Ray squeaked in disbelief, pointing to his own chest to make sure Fraser got the right guy.

"Yes, Ray."

"But why?"

"Why?"

"There is no way Fraser, that you can possibly love me, no way!"

"But I do. I love you. I have tried to reason it out and even ignore what I feel for you, but I can no longer do so. I simply love you."

Ray jumped up and ran to his overcoat hanging on the peg. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!"

"Please Ray! I'm sorry! Don't hate me! Please!"

"Look Fraser, I don't hate you! I not angry with you! I just don't know! I don't know!" The detective frantically wrestled his coat on and was immediately out the door with a loud *slam*.

Fraser sat alone at the kitchen table, staring at the two plates and two cups, full and untouched.

He had actually thought that telling Ray how he felt would keep him from going crazy. Now that he had, he was going to die from misery. How could he have been so stupid? He had lost his one and only true friend. His Ray was gone even before he could tell the man why he loved him. The very man who helped find his father's killer, the man you gave him a home and a instant family in Chicago, the man who saved him from the darkness of Victoria, the man who carried him through endless miles of a Canadian forest without one complaint. Ray his savior and friend.

A persistent Dief was now nudging Fraser's leg, the wolf softly whining to him with sad amber eyes. Well, now that Ray had taken his leave maybe he can kindly eat his dinner for him? Huh? The hungry wolf now waited for an answer to his prayers.

Fraser abruptly turned his head as he heard hurried footsteps approaching his door.

Ray abruptly burst into his apartment again, his face ashen white and he was shaking. He quickly closed the door and was leaning heavily against it, like he was trying to keep the whole apartment building from collapsing in on itself.

"Ray!"

"Hey Benny," Ray said meekly, his eyes closed tight as if a bright spotlight was now shining on him.

"Ray? What is wrong?" Fraser hopped from his seat and slowly approached his erratic friend.

"Oh, nothing."

"I thought you were leaving?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought you left."

"Well, I never left the building."

"But you ran away."

"Now I'm back. Okay?"

"But you ran out and now you are back? You left when we..."

"Jesus Benny! Whadda you want from me? You offered your undying love, and that's does not happen to me everyday! So I freaked out, okay? So I ran!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Damn! I only ran! You should consider yourself really lucky, Benny. Before I actually proposed to Angie I was so sick thinking about it that I puked my guts up for a week."

"Oh dear."

"But I somehow managed."

"But am I really lucky, Ray?"

"What?"

"Why are you back Ray? Tell me why."

"Jesus! Why me Fraser? Look at you!" Ray was pointing at him. "Every woman who sees you wants you! Just look at you! You're superman! You're perfect!" Ray was now pointing to himself. "Now look at me! I'm not!"

"Everybody sees me the way they want to see me, and there is nothing I can do to change that. But I do know that you see me differently, the way I have always wanted to be seen and that's why I love you Ray. You see me for who I am and you accept me and nobody has ever done that for me. And I do not want a woman who is merely attracted to me for superficial reasons. I have no time for that. I need more than that now, I need you."

"And how do I exactly *see you*? Huh, Fraser?"

"You tell me, Ray."

A high-strung Ray suddenly turned on him. "You know what I see?" He was now waving his arms. "I see the most annoying man in the world! You always think that you are right! You always think that your way is better! You never listen to me and you never know when to shut up! And you are so goddamn clueless that you wouldn't know where to stick your dick if the woman of your dreams came with fucking directions and a flashlight!"

"No one else sees me that way but you, Ray!" Fraser positively clapped at Ray's tirade and he quickly became serious again when Ray shot him a weird look. "But I do have to point out that you did mention that I was *perfect*, so that can mean either two things: that you are gravely and mentally confused, or that you are desperately trying to dissuade me from being in love with you."

"Aghh! Benny!" The detective closed his eyes and was rubbing his temples as if he was seriously considering his mental state or the state of his heart, and he abruptly looked up at the Mountie. "What? Are you saying that it turns you on when I sometimes see you as a...um, as a nitwit?"

"I truthfully admit that it holds a certain attraction for me that you have no unrealistic and overly magnificent expectations of me like everyone else does, and so I always find myself at ease in your presence. When I'm with you I can simply be me and feel safe that way because you accept me. I never told you this before, but I do find your company to be comfortable and uh... restful. Although Ray, the term 'nitwit' may be a little inappropriate for describing my character and I can only safely assume that you were only..."

"Here we go again! A nit-pick from a nitwit!"

"Ray, I'm sorry, I just cannot help how I feel for you. I cannot stop myself from loving you. Please don't ask me to stop. Please."

The detective hung his head low; the pain he heard in his friend's words had ripped open his soul. It was now time for Ray to grasp a few last straws before destiny came crashing down upon their heads.

"Well Fraser? What about Frannie?"

"I'm in love with her brother."

"And what about Thatcher?"

"I'm in love with the man she despises."

"And what about... hey wait! The Dragon Lady actually despises me?"

Oh dear! Fraser was now uneasy. "Well, Ray, she does not appreciate that nickname that you have so boldly chosen for her. And she may think occasionally that you are a little brash and impolite and rude, but that doesn't mean she hates... Ray?"

Ray stared at him helplessly with his arms spread and he looked absolutely miserable. "Oh Benny, you are going to be so disappointed, I swear to God you are. You're taking a big risk here with me."

Fraser looked at him surprised, analyzing those words of possibility. It was like a small crack of light in the dark. Was there now hope for him? For them?

"I have never been disappointed in you."

"Fuck! I shot you in the back! I nearly crippled you! You could have never walked again! You almost died!"

"I cannot believe that you forgave me Ray. I was going to run away with her, and I even told you so, and there you were at my side day after day, never leaving me once! The things you are capable of Ray, it sometimes astonishes me."

"You can be pretty goddamn amazing too, Fraser."

"Please, Ray. I need to know how you feel."

"Listen to me, I do not want to let you down. I have let down Angie, and then Irene, and oh God I know I will do it to you too. I always do. I refuse to do that to you, you are too important to me. You have been let down before and that almost got you killed, okay? You don't deserve it, and you definitely don't deserve it from me."

"If you think I should deserve anything in life, then I deserve you. I love you, Ray. It's all I can think..."

"You mustn't!" Ray quickly shouted and was now pacing the small room and wringing his hands in a strange melodramatic gesture.

"But I must!"

"Stop it Fraser! Why are you doing this? Why?"

"If I don't do this I will go crazy!"

"Look, are you sure? Maybe you're just really homesick or something. A few weeks away up in the frozen North should help you shake this thing."

"This is not just a *thing*! This is quite real!"

"Damn it, Benny! I don't know if I can do this!"

"Do you love me Ray?"

Ray looked defeated, the words stuck in his throat and he struggled to push them out. He was still silent despite his hard efforts and Fraser was now getting frustrated.

"So Ray, why did you come back then?"

"Um, I couldn't go home like this Fraser."

"Oh. You mean your face, Ray?"

"Oh yeah, among other things." The detective mumbled to himself and touched his damaged cheek, suddenly aware of his injury again.

"Other things?"

"Yeah." Ray shrugged and suddenly turned away embarrassed. Fraser now noticed the detective had his overcoat wrapped tightly around his body as if he was hiding something dark and evil.

"Ray? What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"I don't believe you. Please tell me what is the matter?"

Ray unhappily laughed. "Um, let's just say the Hard Rock Café is open for business."

"What? I don't understand what..."

"Jesus Christ Frasier! Do I have to spell it out?"

"Ray?"

"I got a hard on! Okay? Damn it!"

"Oh."

"That goddamn 'big-eyed Mountie look' always fucks me up." The detective dismally groaned. "I hate myself."

"Oh Ray."

"Oh shit! I ran into Mrs. Gamez in the lobby and she asked me if I could unclog her drain. That's not the type of question you ask a man with an erection."

"Uh, what did you say to her?"

"Nothing, Fraser. I ran away from her back up the stairs again. She must think I've gone mental or something."

"I do not believe you are mental."

"Oh! Gee whiz, thanks."

"Ray? Is there something you need to tell me? Will you look at me, please."

"I can't, Benny. I just can't."

Ray heavily sighed. Why did he run like that? He did love Fraser, didn't he? He had truly made a fool of himself. He had been seduced back into the apartment, and now everything was to do again.

He screwed up and he was too embarrassed to even acknowledge Fraser.

"Ray? Just let me know, please. Do you love me?"

"I just don't want to hurt you, okay?"

Fraser had forced his voice to be a little louder and prompt this time. "Do you love me?"

The Mountie stood there eagerly waiting for his answer.

The slow affirmative nod of the detective's smooth head was so slight and imperceptible that Fraser held his breath and may have missed the tiny movement if Ray actually had hair.

It was probably the best that Ray could do for now. To bare one's soul was some tricky shit. He should know.

There was a long silent interval and Ray felt his friend gather himself up like a beast on the powerful springs of its limbs. From the corner of his eye he saw the tall man quickly moving towards him and Fraser was now inches from him, confronting him. His face was like a blow and Ray could hardly breathe.

"Ray, let me see." The Mountie pushed his wiry arms away and parted the flaps of the overcoat. He looked down upon the thin frame and the evidence of arousal. "Ray."

"Benny, no. Please, no, no. Please don't." Ray was abashed, a burning blush poured up from the pit of his groin into his chest, throat and face.

Before he could say anything else, Fraser swiftly wrapped his strong arms about his waist and firmly pressed his body into his, now wanting to confirm the visual with touch. Ray was shiftless and still, his arms rigid at his side but the inside of his body pulsed and moved. Fraser was smothering him and Ray loudly moaned.

"I love you too, Ray."

Ray turned his head to look at the face of his friend and he suddenly discovered his mouth moving inside of Fraser's. He found his tongue inevitably sliding deep into that tea-flavored heat, wanting to taste every single molecule of sugar that the wet mouth had to offer. And every time their tongues met it was like a hard slam into Ray's body, filling his cock up with electricity and he moaned again with each hit.

Fraser gently licked the corners of Ray's mouth and then regarded the upturned face. "Ray? Have you been eating donuts for dinner again?"

"Hmm? Fraser, they don't serve lobster dinner at a stakeout. Go complain to Welsh."

"My poor Ray."

"Well? Make it better, Benny, for me. Do it now before I jump out the window."

"Understood."

They stripped each other naked in between kisses and whispers, Fraser busily struggling with an overcoat, a silk tie, a bulletproof vest, numerous buttons, ornate cufflinks, a complicated belt buckle, and patent leather shoes, and Ray merely peeling off a robe and long johns, quietly giggling to himself.

"You are going to pay for this, Ray."

They both stood there breathless and looking at each other almost like two coy brides on their bridal night. The warmth and the vertigo of sudden want had made them both anxious and they immediately reached for each other again for comfort.

Fraser was amazed how Ray's lean body felt against him, the contours and angles under his touch, the narrow back, the small firm buttocks, the delicate ribcage, the curve of the sleek skull. He then looked down past the flat belly to the black mass at the groin and out of it the bare penis rising dark amber-red. Ray's cock was so exquisite and curved that Fraser just had to touch that too, and he did.

Ray threw his arms around his neck with a soft cry and was clinging on to Fraser like a rag doll; his unsteady legs could no longer hold his body up. But he somehow managed to pump himself into Fraser's fist and had to force himself to stop, not wanting to end this unfamiliar bliss so soon.

"Benny, please."

Fraser had to practically half-carry his feeble Ray to the bed.

Dief was angrily glaring at them from the kitchen. How could his pack mates even think of mating now when there is food waiting for them on the table? What the hell was wrong with them?

Ray sat on the edge of the mattress, nervously looking up at his tall friend towering over him and the pale uncut cock basically in his face. Hey? Fraser was uncut!

Fraser dropped to his knees before him and tenderly parted the slim thighs, fitting himself forward into the arch of Ray's inviting body.

"Oh God, I want you so much Ray."

His mouth traveled down the long graceful neck and furry chest, tasting and breathing in the soft olive skin of his friend. He lapped at the brown nipples, teething the sensitive nubs and Ray bucked against him with a whimper.

Kissing Ray on the mouth one last time, Fraser then leaned over the weeping cock of his love and began his second kiss.

Unable to move, Ray watched the dark head rise and fall between his thighs, the wet mouth sliding over his burning shaft. Flames leaped in his body and he now stroked the silky hair with his hands, urging and encouraging his friend as his passion grew.

Ray dropped slightly back, supporting himself on one elbow and affectionately patting his friend's pelt with his other free hand. He still couldn't believe what he was seeing, the velvet rasp of that angelic mouth over the hard flesh of his dark cock, the large pale hands clutching his small hips and clawing him.

It appeared that Fraser was a dual creature: the face of a saint and the appetite of a lion.

Ray was now the only one to witness this hungry side of his lover while everybody else only saw the mask of a naive and guileless Mountie. Ray almost laughed at the thought, at the stupidity of people not knowing; they were excluded. Delicious, the sensation, like melting in his cock.

Ray screamed. "OH FUCK!"

He screamed and kicked and caged Fraser within his long bronze legs and screamed again. He spasmed in long aching waves and was finally flat on his back on the bed, staring up into the darkness and panting.

It was not possible! Had he ever come so hard in his life?

Ray blindly reached out to grab what seemed to be his innocent Benny and pulled his lover on top of him, wrapping him tight in his arms and rejoicing.

"Benny, Benny, I love you, Benny, I love you..."

Fraser was now chuckling at his friend's incessant ranting and raving of his undying love, whereas before he could barely get a peep out of him. But once Ray got going the man could never shut up, so he silenced him with his mouth, tying his lover's moving tongue into a knot.

He now felt the slight Italian writhe and wriggle under him and Fraser turned onto his side to give his poor lover some oxygen.

Ray lay beside him, quietly looking down and studying him. The Mountie's body, strong and broad and golden-white reminded him of vast plain of snow, the fleece of the groin indigo-black and the sturdy upright cock was now ready for his touch. Fraser gently took his hand and drew it across his pale body to the hardness of his sex.

"Oh Benny."

Ray stared wide-eyed at the pale cock in his palm as if it were a hand grenade. He never held one of these before, well, except his own. It wasn't really so bad, hot and strong in his hand, swollen and trembling as he gripped it. Now that he was getting over his initial shock, he was starting to enjoy the burning rod in his grasp and he strangely felt he was a mythic warrior wielding a magic sword.

Grinning to himself, he curiously probed the fragile flap of foreskin, the way it moved and slipped about the cock head with his touch, revealing a blushing wet tip and the slick sounds it made. He was beginning to really enjoy that too.

Ray was so consumed with exploring the splendid cock that he momentarily forgot the man it was attached to.

"Ray? Please."

"Sorry Benny."

Ray bowed to the perfect white chest and Fraser gasped and moaned as each of his nipples became sharp and rigid in Ray's busy mouth. He held the shorn head close to his body as Ray mouthed and tongued him, languidly slipping down to his stomach and the cavity of his navel.

Fraser now felt two slender hands slipping between his thighs and a small nervous voice sounded from below: "Um Benny, I need you to spread your legs for me, okay?"

He did as he was told and experienced some unusual movements that left him astounded.

"Oh my God Ray! What are you doing to me?"

Ray tilted his head and glanced up with a frown, peering at him from behind his uncut cock. "Don't you like what I'm doing, Benny?"

"Oh Ray, please don't stop!"

The Italian resumed his maddening caresses with his hands and mouth up and down the length of his inner thighs, slowly making his way up to the begging cock only to back off again. Soon Fraser's erection was painfully demanding to be sucked by Ray, the throbbing ache becoming unbearable and now the gentle nursing of each of his balls by that clever mouth didn't help his situation, either. Ray was effectively 'baiting' him again.

"Please Ray!"

Fraser suddenly felt two warm hands slide under his ass to slightly lift him up in Ray's decision to do this to him, the sudden approach of hot breath over his cockhead and the instant smooth glide of that satin mouth down his entire length. He heard himself wildly cry out from the sheer joy of it.

"OH RAY YES!"

Fraser didn't even care if his neighbors or the whole world heard him, this was his moment now and he deserved it!

Ray's tongue worked and curved over his cock with insistence and love and it was everything he had ever wanted. He felt one of Ray's elegant hands slowly crawl up his belly and chest and throat, and a fingertip was now gently prying his lips apart, seeking an entrance. Fraser hungrily opened his mouth to take in the dainty finger and began sucking on it in rhythm to the generous mouth on his cock.

After several moments of indulgence, Ray plucked his finger out from his lover's mouth with a *pop!* and Fraser mourned the lost of the slim digit that he was tasting.

"Ray?"

There was only a faint muffled reply from Ray down under. "Ummph."

Fraser happily shouted out as the slick wet finger delicately entered his small dark opening, gradually stretching and working loose the tight ring of muscles of his anus. Ray reached further in and began to rub and soothe the tender gland and suddenly everything sparked and shined before Fraser's eyes and he forcefully came at a gush down Ray's throat, feeling his lover earnestly swallowing without the hesitation and fear that had plagued him before.

The stunned Mountie finally blinked open his eyes to find Ray fully at his side again, the shaven head resting on his shoulder and a slim hand resting over his heart.

"Hey, Benny."

"Ray, I can't believe..."

"Me neither. Oh my God, you're a screamer."

"Was I that loud?" Fraser quickly sobered up at the words and he was now horrified.

"Loud? Let's just say you busted a few windows."

"Oh my, what would my neighbors think? What if they..."

"Jeez, Benny! Who the hell cares? Tell them Dief bit you or something. You should be happy now." Ray lifted his head and looked at him uncertainly. "You are happy, aren't you?"

"Yes Ray, I am extremely happy. But what about you?"

"Yeah Benny, I'm happy."

"Are you absolutely sure? I didn't want to presume that you..."

"I said I was happy, didn't I? I'm so damn happy I can tap dance on your ass, okay?"

"But you can't tap dance, Ray."

The detective rolled his eyes with a weary sigh. "Benny, I was only saying..." Ray was cut off mid-sentence when he heard the low rumbling in his lover's stomach. "Hmm, time to eat baby."

The detective glided out of bed, hauling his dazed friend up with him.

Fraser pulled out his sweat pants from his closet and began to put them on and Ray was now glaring at him.

"Fraser? Who told you to get dressed?"

"I thought we were going to eat dinner."

A naked Ray sadly shook his head and sat at the table behind his plate. "You can't eat lasagna in the nude? It's not like you are dining with the Queen of England. Jeez!"

"Her Majesty is also sovereign of Canada, too."

Ray's eyes glazed over. "Yeah? She must be one busy chick, Benny. Come over here."

Fraser dropped his pants and obediently sat at his meal opposite Ray.

"There, Benny. See, this is not so bad." Luckily the food was still somewhat warm.

With a flick of his wrist the Mountie cordially laid his napkin across his bare lap and began to eat, and Ray nearly choked on his coffee with laughter.

"What Ray?"

"Polite no matter what, right Benny?"

"One should really try to be polite as much as possible, after all."

"You mean all the time? Let's say you were stuck out in the middle of a blizzard or something, would you still use a napkin and crap?"

Fraser thought about this and was unfortunately reminded of the last time that he was stuck in the middle of a snowstorm over ten years ago with Victoria. He had lost his backpack and all of his supplies, but miraculously found them again and he and Victoria rapidly ate everything in site sans napkins and table manners. It almost seemed like a lifetime ago, a life so different from what he had right now.

"Well, it depends Ray. If it was a life or death situation, then it may be necessary to forego civility and..."

Ray was now shamefully staring down at his hands realizing he had just asked his best friend probably the most stupid question on the planet. The last time Benny was stuck in a blizzard it led to a chain of events that finally got him a bullet in the back. How could he be so dumb? He shot the man in the spine, and now he was reminding him of that fact? And after he made love to him? How could he be disappointing his love already? What the hell was wrong with him?

"Ray? Ray?"

"Oh? I'm sorry, Benny. What were you saying?"

"I was just saying what it would taste like to have you come in my mouth while you were covered in maple syrup. Maybe it would taste like hot buttered pancakes? Or maybe like butterscotch? I'm not sure, so we'll have to see tomorrow morning. Okay? Oh dear, I can't wait."

Ray looked at him blinking. "I love you, Benny."

"You already told me, Ray, after you came in my mouth. As a matter of fact, you kept repeating it, and so I had to quiet you by..."

"Now you be quiet, Fraser! Jeez!"

It would probably be a long time for both of them to truly get over that dark incident in their relationship. But Ray was determined to do so in any way possible, to rid his lover of her, to completely fuck and suck that Victoria out of Fraser's system.

The pasta was tasty and good and Fraser totally forgot himself and ate rapidly and hungrily. He was indoctrinated.

"Umm hmm." Ray almost sounded a little smug.

Fraser now glanced up at his lover.

The Italian smiled wickedly and tossed his fork over his shoulder giggling. "Hey, Benny. I'm a big cry baby and I think ya should feed me."

Fraser grinned back at him. "Well, Ray, it is vital that a mother nurses and nurtures her young during the early stages of..."

"Shut up, Benny. Let's just see what's going on under that napkin of yours."

Ray got up and glided up to the sitting Mountie and ceremoniously straddled him in the old kitchen chair, it now noisily creaking with the additional weight. It took a moment for Fraser's brain to catch up with his current situation; he was still in awe of witnessing a naked Ray in motion.

Fraser heartily cupped Ray's small buttocks, pulling the lightweight body firmly against his chest and his roving finger began to gently explore his friend's tight dark opening. The Italian loudly gasped at the tender intrusion.

"Hey Fraser, I can't believe you're doing that at the dinner table! Where's your damn manners?"

"Do make up your mind, Ray. Do you want me to be polite or impolite?"

"Impolite!" Ray hissed through clenched teeth as Fraser's finger burrowed deep to touch his sensitive spot.

The Italian retaliated by reaching between their bodies and snaring Fraser's cock in his hand, and he smiled knowingly to himself as it tautened and quivered in his grasp. Wide blue eyes were now locked on him.

"Ray! Oh God!"

Ray stroked the length of him, his thumb expertly working at the small slit, rubbing and tickling with the slick aid of some pre-cum. The Mountie began to move and jerk with each tender stroke and Ray intently watched as his friend's body danced beneath him.

Stars lit up through his lean frame; brightly following the aching pressure in his cock and Ray now lost all of his patience.

"Come all over me, Benny! Quickly, quickly!"

Fraser could not ignore Ray's plea and his body suddenly went stiff and he came, wetly bursting into Ray's hand with a loud cry of relief and his head thrown back.

"Oh God Benny, you're a sight to see."

"Ray."

Fraser rested his head in the graceful curve of Ray's neck and he mouthed the silky skin, still trying to catch his breath. He then suddenly realized that during his own release his finger had slipped out of Ray. Overcome by burning shame at his own selfishness, he pierced Ray again without prologue, the open body receiving his finger easily.

The detective climaxed instantly and startlingly from the unexpected invasion, splashing all over his lover's chest. "BENNY!"

"Um, Ray? Ray? Are you all right?"

Wild green eyes regarded him. "You caught me off guard there."

Fraser simply grinned at him, enjoying his rare moment of being spontaneous.

Ray squirmed a bit in his lap. "Benny, where's that stupid napkin of yours?"

Fraser found it and carefully wiped their hands and bodies clean, and was just taking too long a time in his particular neatness for Ray's liking.

Ray tapped him on the shoulder. "Uh? Hello? Hungry."

"Oh."

Fraser dutifully reached over to his fork and scooped up some pasta and gingerly placed it into Ray's open mouth. He couldn't help but to look and listen as Ray artfully chewed and swallowed, and couldn't help his impatience to feed his lover another forkful.

"Slow down Fraser! You're going to make me choke."

"Um, sorry love."

"Open up, Benny." Ray generously offered his moist morsel into Fraser's mouth. The Canadian was reeling with pure pleasure, Italian food taken from an Italian mouth: Perfect!

The hungry detective now needed more than just starch and began to lick and nip Fraser's neck, the delicate curves of his ears, and slowly down his throat to the board pale chest.

Ray tenderly examined the scar on Fraser's upper right pectoral. "Is that where that asshole hit you with the dead beaver?"

"It was a dead otter, Ray."

"Hmm, whatever." Ray bent down and sweetly kissed the childhood hurt. "I swear to God Benny, if I was there I would have killed him with that friggin' beaver."

"Otter, Ray."

Fraser smiled at the thought of actually knowing Ray as an adolescent best friend, growing up together and sharing absolutely everything. He would have taught Ray wilderness survival skills and Ray would have protected him from furry-animal wielding schoolyard bullies.

He imagined them eventually becoming young lovers, shyly exploring and curiously fondling each other's awkward teenage bodies until they both spilled into each other's hands, happy and surprised and embarrassed and...oh dear!

Fraser's cock jumped and twitched at his forbidden thoughts and he shuddered.

Ray suddenly lifted his head to look at him as he felt the telltale trembling and then the warm spreading flood under his thighs and balls as his shy friend moaned.

"Oh God! Caro mio? What did you just do?" Ray was quietly asking him with some motherly concern, lovingly scolding him as if he knocked over a glass of milk or scraped his knee.

"Sorry Ray." Fraser was breathless and blushing against his lover. "I was just thinking about us and if..."

"Shhh."

Ray grabbed a tight hold of the back of the chair with both of his hands and began to softly thrust against Fraser's firm belly, and within seconds he came against the Mountie gently with a low whimper. It was a mild orgasm; Ray was just too drained and exhausted to go further beyond that.

Fraser finally noticed that the hazel eyes were heavy with sleep and the smooth shaven head was beginning to bob.

"Want to go to sleep Ray?"

Ray wordlessly nodded and kissed him deeply; fortunately his tongue did not seem so tired like the rest of his body.

Both men wearily got up and wiped themselves down again, and Ray benevolently took his plate of food from the table and placed it on the floor for the wolf. "Dief is having one lucky night."

They stumbled into bed and entwined under the sheets and blankets.

Dief watched the two wolves wrapped themselves together and drift off. That meant the coast was clear and he attacked the plate of pasta left exclusively for him. Getting Ray's share of food wasn't so difficult after all! He only hoped his fellow pack members would mate more often.

Ray hopelessly wiggled in the narrow bed, desperately trying to find that comfortable position for sleep but still be in easy reach of his lover.

"Uh Fraser, where did you get this goddamn bed? The third ring of hell?"

"You smell nice Ray."

"Yeah?"

Fraser lifted the warm blankets up over their heads and they snuggled together in the dark like baby twins in a womb. It was strange, he thought, that he had never properly felt sex before. It was as if he had been cordoned off from it. It simply had not been for him until Ray had smashed his old snow-globe world. He was reborn tonight and nothing would ever change that, not even what's-her-face.

Nothing so absolute as Ray.

Dizzy at the thought, Fraser pressed his nose against the hot skin for some sweet reassurance.

"Hey Benny? Are you sniffing me?"

"Umm hmm."

"Ah jeez, Fraser. Come here." Ray circled him with his arms.

"Ray? If you don't mind me asking, what cologne are you wearing?"

"Hmm? What? Oh, Emporio Armani."

"Appropriate, Ray. It really suits you."

"Shhh. Caro."

Ray's mouth came gently to his neck and Fraser gave himself again to the Emperor.

endnote: Those particular scents I have described when Fraser was sniffing Ray's suit are actually in the cologne 'Emporio Armani' (yeah, I did scientific research). The retail price is close to sixty bucks and smells way damn sexy (the way I imagine Ray would actually smell like!).