This story was inspired by Carol Trendall's "Hot Lunch for Three". If you've read that one, you'll soon see why. This one takes a little detour in another direction near the end, though.
This story should probably be rated R for m/m premise, m/f sexual activity (rather tame), and some of the assumptions it requires you to make. Also, it should probably carry a warning, something like "Major Kitsch Alert!" :)
Disclaimer: We all know I didn't create these characters, they just possess me from time to time. No point in suing me [insert usual whining about the rand/dollar exchange rate here].
By T'Mar.
Margaret Fraser was nine years old before she realised there was more between the two men she called 'dad' than she had previously realized. She had always known her family was a little, er, 'different'. She had two fathers. They had always been careful about what they said to people, and from a young age she had known that the dad named Benton Fraser was her 'official' father. His name was on the birth certificate, she had his surname, and the dad named Ray Vecchio didn't mind. He did go with her to school recitals when her official dad couldn't make it, but they told everyone he was her uncle. She had grown up knowing that having two dads was odd, that most people had a mom and a dad, even if they weren't around at the same time.
Her mother had died when she was born; this she had always known. Her mother had been a Mountie too, they'd told her. Fraser had shown her pictures of them in their dress uniforms and told her about cases they'd worked on. And that was the story she told at school: her parents were Mounties - her mother, who had run the Canadian Consulate, had died, leaving her father behind. Her father still worked at the Consulate. She was proud of the fact that her parents were Mounties. Then there was Ray, her other dad. He was a cop, and she was proud of that, too.
They'd go to Ray's mother's house for dinner a lot, and her grandmother referred to her as her real grandchild, not that she minded. It was all a bit confusing, but Meg was happy. At least until someone in her class at school made her aware of such a thing as sexual preferences.
Kids were like that - they'd tease and taunt, and announce new things they had discovered. One child had found out what the word 'gay' meant, and bandied it all over the class, explaining to Meg that it was, "when two boys or two girls fall in love". Meg had been about to open her mouth and explain about her two fathers, but then something told her not to, and she had kept quiet. But she had run home and asked.
Ray was off duty, so he was at home making lunch for Meg. Normally his sister Frannie helped out, but today she'd had errands to run. "Daddy?"
"Yeah, honey?"
"Are you and Dad gay?"
Ray dropped the plate he'd been holding on the floor. This made Meg back away, alarmed. "I'm not upset, Maggie. Just tell me where you heard that." He always called her Maggie; Fraser called her Meg. She didn't mind.
"I... A kid at school told me that. Is it a bad word?"
"No. Did he tell you what it means?"
"He said it's when two boys or two girls fall in love."
Ray sighed; but he'd known this conversation was coming someday. He sat at the table, placing her lunch in front of her. "That's right, sweetheart. So since I'm with Benny, I guess you could say that."
"He said that it wasn't normal, that it's wrong. There should be a mother and father, not two fathers."
"Honey, you had a mother. And a father. Don't forget that, okay?"
"But is it wrong? Is it?"
"Some people think so. What do you think?"
"It never seemed wrong before. I like it when you two are together. It makes me feel happy."
"There ya go, then. We keep it a secret because some people do think so, and they would tease you at school. You know that, right?"
"Yeah." Meg munched happily on a sandwich.
Ray wondered what Benny would have to say when he got home, if she would ask him the same question, to see what he'd say. "It's not wrong, honey. Just remember people don't like things they don't understand. You want me to explain this to you some more?"
"No, that's okay." She hopped off the chair, gulping down the juice he'd set out for her. "Can I go play with Jenny now?"
"Sure, honey."
That was the last they heard of it for a long time. There were more detailed questions as Meg became a teenager, but nothing they couldn't handle. She truly seemed okay with it. There was one rather unpleasant conversation when Meg came home after school one day, having been told by a classmate just *how* gay people went about having sex. She had asked - straight out, no evasions - if it was true, and then she'd cried. They'd had to do a lot of talking on that one, but finally Fraser had been the one to make Meg understand that it was because they *loved* each other, only because of that, and that no form of sexual expression was dirty.
"What about my mother?" she'd cried. "Did you love her?"
Fraser had looked at Ray in a panic. No, he hadn't loved Meg Thatcher, not the way he loved Ray. That whole business... it had just been... an accident. Not that that was any excuse, of course. But at the same time Fraser had known he could *not* tell his daughter the truth about him and her mother, not at this age, and perhaps never. "Yes, I did love your mother," he'd finally said. And she'd been satisfied with that.
At age nineteen it all hit the fan. Meg was going to college. It was close to home, but she stayed on campus during the week - Ray had felt it would be better for her. She sneaked home early one Friday, hoping to surprise the two men. Like Fraser, she often climbed in and out of the window, and she'd rigged hers so that only she knew how to open it from the outside. She climbed in silently, tiptoeing across the floor to her bedroom door when she heard Ray's voice. He was yelling. Her policy was to wait for him to stop, so she remained in her bedroom and waited.
"We can't tell her about that, Ray," Fraser said firmly. "I want her to remember her mother in a good way."
"Her mother was the Dragon Lady, Benny, and she seduced *you*."
"She didn't expect that you and I were already together, Ray."
"I know. That day... I'll never forget it, Benny. I can't believe we did that. I can't believe I suggested it, I can't believe that you agreed to it, and I definitely wouldn't have believed the Dragon Lady would go along with it if Maggie wasn't the proof."
"I was scared of losing you, Ray."
"I know, Benny. Are you telling me you only made love with the Dragon Lady to be polite, and you only went along with my suggestion because you were scared of *losing* me?"
"Well, no. I was attracted to her, well, a little. And she was standing there... well, naked, and she came over and kissed me, and then..."
"I saw, remember."
"But why... Ray, why?"
"Why did I ask to make love to her too? You know why, Benny. For the same reasons you said - I was scared of her blackmailing us, I was scared of losing you. I figured I could handle a menage a trois. I knew I couldn't handle losing you."
"And you want to tell this to our daughter."
"Benny... we don't even know which one of us is her father." People who thought Fraser was Meg's father saw Fraser's features in the child. But people who'd meet them and think Ray was her father saw Ray's features.
"It doesn't matter, Ray."
"Maybe not to you. You've kept this bottled up for nearly twenty years, Benny. I know we agreed never to discuss it, but... She's a woman now. She deserves the truth."
"Ray..." began Fraser, but Meg stormed into the room.
"It's too late, anyway!" She was furious. "How could you not tell me?"
Fraser and Ray looked at each other, completely shocked. Finally Fraser came forward, wanting to hug her. She stepped away. "Don't touch me! How could you lie to me for nineteen years?!"
"All right," said Fraser.
"Come and sit down, honey," said Ray quietly.
"No! You're gonna tell me *now*!"
"Not if you use that tone of voice, we're not."
"I'm nineteen!" she yelled at Ray. "I can yell if I want to!"
"Meg..." Fraser said it very carefully. "I understand this must be a shock. You should let us explain. Please sit down."
Meg sat under her father's reasonable persuasion. "Okay, I'm sitting. Now, tell me."
***
Benton Fraser had gotten home rather late in the night; he'd been out with Ray on a case, and it had been very tiring. He'd jumped onto yet another moving vehicle and almost killed himself... again. Ray had had to stay at the precinct to finish some paperwork, and Lieutenant Welsh had forced Fraser to go home.
He was lying in bed, naked, waiting for Ray to arrive. It had become sort of a tradition with them - to wait naked in bed for the other one to get there and make use of the lack of clothing.
He smiled when he heard the door open, and sat up. "R..."
But it wasn't Ray. His superior officer stood there. Fraser was suddenly, irretrievably reminded of Francesca Vecchio's attempt to seduce him. And sure enough, Meg Thatcher dropped her coat. "Good evening, Constable."
Fraser just stared. "Uh..."
Thatcher looked very frightened, but she seemed determined to go through with it. "Fraser... don't send me away. I'm tired; I'm just tired of pretending all the time that I don't have feelings for you. I can't wait for another nuclear catastrophe." She walked forward, leaned down and kissed him, her bare flesh - unlike Frannie, Thatcher hadn't put *anything* on underneath - connecting with Fraser's.
Despite himself, Fraser felt himself responding. He managed to tear his mouth away from hers, though. "M... ma'am... please..."
"You like this, Constable?"
"Ma'am... no. Please, stop." His mind was saying no, but the rest of him was saying yes.
Thatcher was many things, but she wouldn't ignore that plea. "Why?" She was kneeling in front of him now. "Why... Benton?"
"I... I'm in love with someone else. I can't be unfaithful."
She seemed to shrink down into herself a little. "You don't want me? I thought... I mean, I thought we had something."
"We might have, but I fell in love..."
"Who is she?"
"It's not... I can't tell you. It isn't necessarily... approved of."
Thatcher suddenly had a flash of insight. "Vecchio. It's Vecchio, isn't it?"
"Yes." There was no point in denying it.
"I can give you anything he can," Thatcher said boldly, reaching up to kiss him again, leaning over him, forcing him to lie down. And then she touched him. "You want me. Don't deny it, Fraser."
"Please... no."
"Say it. You want me."
"That's... oh, G-d..." He had to pause for breath. "That's a physical reaction. I love... oh... I love... Ray."
Thatcher wasn't taking no for an answer. She straddled his hips a little too expertly, guiding him into herself. "You wanted this, Ben. Say it."
Fraser couldn't bring himself to say anything. Thatcher leaned down and kissed him, moving slowly at first, tantalising. Fraser's control snapped. His arms and legs went around her, and he turned them both expertly so that he was looking down at her.
Thatcher smiled triumphantly. "I knew you wanted me."
Tears came to his eyes. "No, I..." And then she writhed underneath him, banishing all sane thoughts completely.
Ray Vecchio was smiling in anticipation of what would be waiting for him beyond Fraser's apartment door. He opened it quietly, in case Benny was asleep. And what a wake-up call he'd get! He took only two steps into the room, and what he saw completely shocked him. He knew from experience that this was just about over. And then he heard Fraser's gasped, "No... No!" and he knew it was.
"Benny!" He hadn't meant to yell, but he couldn't help it.
Fraser didn't look at him, he just buried his head in the pillow beneath his superior officer's shoulder, and cried.
Ray didn't know what to think. How could Benny do this to him? And with the Dragon Lady, of all people! But then he heard Fraser's sobs. "Benny?" He stared at Thatcher, still firmly pinned underneath his lover. "What did you do to him?"
"I..." Thatcher closed her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Detective. I... But I love him..." She started to cry as well. The Dragon Lady actually cried!
When Fraser realised that Ray hadn't yelled recriminations or left, he lifted his head up. But he couldn't meet Ray's eyes.
"Ben..." His superior officer's voice sounded strangled. "I can't breathe."
"Oh! Sorry." He moved away, still not looking at Ray.
"What the hell happened?" Ray asked, struggling not to yell.
"It was my fault," Thatcher said. She suspected that she might win if she went to certain lengths to get Fraser away from Vecchio. But she also knew that Fraser would never forgive her. From his reactions she knew that they did indeed love each other. "I came over, and... I seduced him. He said no, but... I..."
"You know, if you'd been the guy and Benny the woman they'd call it rape," Ray pointed out.
"I know. But I love him, you see. I'd do anything." She sighed as she seemed to realise what she was saying. "I'm a Mountie. This is pathetic." Clutching the sheet to herself, she sat up, intending to find her coat and leave. But Ray stopped her.
"Anything?" He was terrified that Thatcher would go and tell the Canadians and his superiors about his relationship with Benny. If that happened, he could kiss his Chicago career goodbye. Perhaps if he got something on Thatcher, he'd feel less vulnerable.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Benny and I share everything. *Everything*."
"Ray!" Fraser sounded scandalised. Ray himself couldn't believe what he'd just suggested.
"You want me to have sex with you?" Thatcher sounded... annoyed, but not shocked.
"Yeah." Anything to prevent Benny being hurt. Anything.
"All right." Meg Thatcher stood up and dropped the sheet, also unable to believe what she was doing. But she wanted Fraser so badly that a sacrifice or two didn't seem all *that* unreasonable. "Constable, move over."
Fraser got out of bed, his expression revealing what he was thinking. And that was that Ray had finally lost his mind.
Ray took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, thinking that he'd obviously been hit one too many times by a suspect. That had to be it. What the hell was he doing?
Thatcher spoke. "I hope you have condoms, Detective."
Ray laughed. "You've gotta be kidding."
Fraser was standing against the wall, trying to blend into the background. He frowned when Ray laughed, and Ray saw this.
"Lemme get this straight. You slept with Benny without one." He looked over at Fraser, who nodded. "But you won't do the same with me."
Thatcher opened her mouth, but Ray cut her off.
"Benny and I... we've slept together a lot. And you know what they say about that, don't you? When you sleep with someone, you also sleep with everyone they have. So I think your concern is a little late, Inspector."
Thatcher nodded, and then Ray smiled. "Don't worry, though. We got tested, it's okay. I didn't know where Victoria had been, and Benny certainly didn't know where some of my dates... well, you get the picture."
Ray had managed to finish undressing as he spoke, and now he moved towards the Dragon Lady. He just wanted to grab Benny and run as far away as they could... but he felt like he had to do this. He had to make sure Thatcher couldn't say anything to anybody about them.
Fraser had told their daughter as much as possible without going into embarrassing details.
"So," she finally said, "you didn't love my mother."
"I loved her," Fraser said.
"You love Ray. You always have."
"Yes." He paused, trying to explain. "But I did care about your mother, Meg."
"So was that a one-time thing or did it go on for a long time?" She had to know. Suddenly, the men who had nurtured and cared for her all these years seemed very different.
The partners exchanged glances. What would be easier for Meg to hear? The truth? Finally Ray said, "It happened a couple more times. But it wasn't an affair. Your mother realised that Benny loved me."
"And you just... used her, is that it?"
"We all decided, Maggie. Nobody used anybody. And then..."
"She had me."
"Well, yeah."
Meg paused, tears staining her cheeks. "So are you saying that either one of you could be my father? I heard that. Is that true?"
"Yeah," said Ray.
Fraser tried to explain. "Your mother loved me. She made me promise to give you my name. I... I thought it was best, after she died."
"I gotta think about this," their daughter said, getting up. "I'll be back on the weekend."
"Wait!" Ray yelled. "We do love you."
And that was one thing Meg Fraser could never disbelieve. "I know."
***
Inspector Meg Thatcher had just made the historic announcement to the two friends. She had considered not telling them, just checking into a clinic and terminating it, but the thought that she would be killing Fraser's baby had stopped her. She refused to consider the possibility that Fraser wasn't the father. She had only slept with the detective because it had seemed the only way to keep Fraser. But she'd soon realised that she'd never really *had* Fraser, and never would. That would have been the end of the 'affair' - except for this little problem.
The two men stared at her with their mouths open. Fraser recovered first. "Ma'am..." He'd never been comfortable calling her 'Meg', and he never would. And now he couldn't think of a thing to say.
"Oh, great," Ray said, loudly. "That's just great. Somebody wasn't careful. This is the '90s. I can't *believe* you!"
"This would make me very happy if the Constable and I were together," Thatcher said. "But... I know now that isn't going to happen. So all I want to know is... " And here she turned to Fraser. "If I can count on you to be there."
"You know you can."
"Whoa, wait," Ray chimed in. "Benny might not be the father, what then?"
"He's the only one I'll consider, Detective."
"We could get blood tests."
"No."
And no matter what Ray - and even Fraser - had said, Thatcher had steadfastly refused to consider blood tests. In her mind Fraser was the father, and that was that.
They could perhaps have formed a nice little - if slightly extended - family, if complications hadn't developed. The pregnancy was difficult, and two doctors had suggested it be terminated. Ray, though not overly fond of the Dragon Lady, had agreed with them, and gotten Fraser to talk to her. But Thatcher had again refused to budge. "This is your child, Fraser. And mine. Whatever happens, I'm bringing this child into the world." She'd paused then, and finally asked. "If... something happens to me... promise me you'll take care of her. Not Vecchio. You."
"I promise."
And he had kept that promise, looking on the baby girl as his own. And for nineteen years he and Ray had never really questioned their decisions. In fact, they realised that they had probably deliberately - if unconsciously - avoided any activity that might lead them to finding out the truth. They'd never found out Meg's blood type, they'd refused to let her participate in DNA sequencing, everything. They, like Meg Thatcher, didn't want to know.
***
But Meg Fraser did. She came back on the weekend as promised, with an ultimatum. "We go for blood tests, or whatever. I want to know for sure. If you refuse, you'll never see me again."
And like her father - well, like Benton Fraser - she wasn't in the habit of bluffing.
***
The clinic they went to was forced to resort to blood tests only, since a sample of the mother's DNA was not available.
"How reliable are these tests, anyway?" Ray asked the nurse who came to draw blood.
"It depends. If we compare just the three samples, we should be able to see which one is less probable."
"Are you ever wrong?" Fraser asked.
"Sometimes. But from what you've said, there's only the two of you. So the test will be pretty definite."
"And then we'll know?"
"Yes, you'll know."
What neither man said was that they didn't want to know, had never wanted to know. But their daughter did, and so they were doing it for her.
The next day, the results were back. Meg asked if she could get the results on her own, and the partners agreed. Maybe she'd be kind and not tell them. Maybe not. But they respected her right to find out something which they had kept from her for two decades.
Meg came out of the office looking... odd. Not happy or sad, just... kinda stunned. "Maggie? Honey?" Ray was there first, steadying her. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am... Dad." And she turned and smiled the broadest smile Ray had ever seen.
"What?" Ray didn't know what to make of the 'dad' thing - she called them *both* dad unless she was talking about one or the other to somebody.
"It's you," she said. "I... I can't believe it. It feels... right. Strange, but right."
Fraser stared. "I'm *not* your father?"
Meg rushed over and hugged him. "No. I... I really thought you were. I was expecting to hear that you were. But... I'm still happy. You were right, it doesn't matter. I love both of you."
Back at the apartment, they had a long talk. Fraser was stunned - but then so was Ray. Ray had never thought to have a child - not his own, anyway - and now he did. His mother would be happy. But then, his mother had always assumed he was the father and not Fraser.
"Honey, there's no way we can make up for the way we kept it from you. We didn't wanna know. And... we didn't want you to think badly of your mother. Whatever else happened, she loved Benny very much. And weird as this sounds, you still wouldn't be here if she hadn't loved Benny."
"I know. I can handle it. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to if I hadn't seen the way you guys feel about each other. But you were meant to be together, any idiot can see that. And to your credit, you never said anything bad about my mother." She paused. "I only knew you nicknamed her the Dragon Lady when I overheard you talking. You never said anything like that to me before. Was she like that? Like a dragon?"
Fraser answered. "No. She was very strong on the outside, but she had a beautiful soul. If... I mean, if Ray and I... I think your mother and I would have been together."
"You can't live with ifs your whole life, Dad. I adapted to a family with two fathers, didn't I? I think I can work this through, too."
"What about your name?" Fraser suddenly asked.
"What?"
"Your name? It's Margaret Fraser. It's only Fraser because we thought I was your father. Perhaps we should change it."
"No."
That surprised both of them. "No??" they asked in unison.
"My name is part of my identity. I'd like to keep that part of you, if I may. And I thought you said my mother wanted me to have your name?"
"She did, but..."
"Fine. Then that's settled."
Ray grinned at Fraser. "She's a lot like her mother, you know, Benny."
"That she is, Ray."
Meg was happy to have real cousins, aunts and uncles. She'd always had them, but knowing they were *real* did make a difference, no matter how small of a difference. She watched Fraser carefully for signs that this had upset him, but he seemed perfectly fine, as usual.
Ray had also watched Fraser, wondering why he had taken this all so calmly. He knew, though, that sooner or later Benny would tell him.
And Benny did. One night, after they had made love, Fraser suddenly said, "Ray... I'm happy about Meg."
"What, that she's my daughter and not yours?"
"Yes."
"I don't get it, Benny. How can that make you happy?"
"Because I know that a part of you will live on. You'll live on in Meg, and that's what's important."
"I thought that about you all these years, Benny. That through her you'd live on. And now... I'm happy about the news, I won't deny that. But... you should have had a child, too."
"I do."
"WHAT?!" Ray yelled, sitting up so fast that the sheet slid to the floor. "You have a *kid*??"
"I never told anyone, Ray. I never thought about it. I never even saw her."
"Her?"
"Yes. It happened long before I came to Chicago and met you. Her mother was a traditionalist; she didn't want her child to feel a part of two worlds. I... agreed."
"Lemme get this straight. You got some Inuit girl pregnant?"
"It wasn't like that, Ray. We cared about each other, but I knew that no matter how she felt about me, she would never marry me. And I did ask her. She made me promise never to try to see the baby, or look for her. She wanted our child to grow up knowing who she was and where she fit in."
"But it's a lie, Benny. Wherever this kid of yours is, she's living a lie."
Fraser shook his head in the dark. "I agreed. I've seen what being pulled in two directions does to these children. So I... left."
"And knowing you, you've never been back." Ray took Fraser's silence for agreement. "Do you at least know her name?"
"Yes, Ray."
"Then we should go up and look for her. You don't have to tell her the truth, Benny. Just see what she's like, if she's okay."
"I know she's okay, Ray. I..." And here Fraser paused, uncertain. He knew there was no way he could ever break that promise, and bring doubt into his child's life. "I saw her mother a few months before I left the Territories. She's fine. She got married to an Inuit man and they are raising a family."
Ray was quite shocked. "Wow." He paused. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"I knew you'd try to get me to go and see her. And I won't. Ever. Knowing that she is happy is enough." He paused. "It has to be."
Ray put his arms around Fraser. "I love you, Benny."
In the future, Margaret Fraser would tell people that she was of "Italian- American and Canadian" stock. And far to the north, Benton Fraser's daughter followed in her mother's footsteps, preserving the traditions of their people... And if, at times, she was exceedingly stubborn, the few people who knew the truth would just smile and think of the Mountie.
THE END