By Anam71

March 2000

NC-17 for M/M slash, and true, true original love.

A romance of the most intimate kind, it contains spoilers for the 'Pilot Episode' and the episode 'Pizzas and Promises.'

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em and my life is so empty for it.

E-mail me at: Anam71@aol.com

He who binds to himself a joy

Does the winged life destroy

But he who kisses the joy as it flies

Lives in eternity's sun rise.

-Eternity by William Blake (1757-1827)

Fraser had wanted to ask his lover for a very intimate favor, but he just wasn't sure. He had asked Ray of so many things in their partnership, getting him into all kinds of bizarre and crazy situations and Ray had never turned him down once. But maybe this time he would be asking just a little too much of him?

So he had put it off for many months now; too shy and too ashamed to make such a request of his best friend and partner.

But Ray always gave him everything, right? He was never denied once; that's the way Ray was. So why should Ray stop now?

The Mountie had to ask him now; he could no longer take it!

Fraser sat silently and lovingly gazed down upon his slender Italian lover spread out before him in the narrow bed, lazily basking in the rays of sunlight pouring through the apartment window. His Ray was the brightest ray of light in the whole room.

Ray lifted his head up, looking through his spread bent legs at the shy Mountie.

"Come on, Benny. You know you can tell me anything."

"Are you sure Ray?"

Ray impatiently rolled his eyes and sighed. "Benny, you know that."

The Canadian took in a deep breath as if he was preparing to dive into deep and dangerous waters, and he finally managed to stammer out his words:

"Um, I want you to touch yourself Ray."

Ray looked at the innocent Mountie with peculiar surprise; not so innocent now, was he? This was so unusual. This was pretty cool too. Who knew?

"Really Benny? Are you suggesting that I, ya know, do myself?"

Fraser now blushed a full Mountie red. "I just want to see what pleases you, Ray, how you like to be touched. I want to know everything about you."

"You sure do, Benny."

"Ray, um, will you?"

"Okay, Benny. Pay attention, there will be a test."

Ray was smiling at him, only to willing to fulfill that simple request. But he did feel a little nervous about this, he have never done the deed before with anyone watching him, not even with his ex-wife Angie. On the other hand, he was very close to the Mountie, both spiritually and physically, and maybe this will bring them closer together. It may also be fun.

Ray's initiated the arousing act as his slender hands slid down his flat stomach, stroking up and down very gently, softly caressing himself and soothing himself. "Just warming myself up, Benny."

Fraser was staring at those elegant hands intently, his eyeballs moving with every sensual movement, dutifully tracking and keeping note. Ray tenderly mapped out his sleek body, all for his lover to see and vividly remember.

Ray's slim hands traveled down his small hips, going down further and further, and his fingertips were now entangled in the dark soft hair. Fraser was now hopelessly lost in that curly black forest.

"Oh Ray."

"Shhh. Don't rush me, Benny."

Ray's breathing deepened as his one hand wrapped around the base of his dark cock, a sure and steady hand from years of lonely adolescent knowledge. His other hand went flat against his cockhead, his palm rubbing in smooth circular motions. Ray was now gazing at the serious and stern fixed expression on Fraser's face as he made final contact with his own cock, his hands tracing that familiar old pattern since high school days.

He couldn't believe he was jerking himself off in front of his best friend, and for a moment he felt like jumping from the bed and running out of the apartment sans clothes. But Benny had made this strange-sexy request, and how could Ray refuse?

Ray began his pumping motion with his hand at the base of his hard cock, stroking and pulling and squeezing. The palm of his other hand rubbed its circular orbit about his cockhead, increasing in velocity and in circumference and slick with pre-cum. He began to rock his hips in rhythm with his strokes, his breathing matching his sweet fluid motions like a love song.

Fraser looked as if he was about to faint from this forbidden sight, a sight so private and intimate and not meant to be seen by anyone else on the planet. Ray gave this only to him, to see this secret side of his lover and what gave him pleasure when he was alone and in need.

He heavily moaned. "I can't believe it Ray."

"Hmm? What? Oh God, Benny! Keep watching me!"

Ray, slowly losing all of his doubts and inhibitions, began to thrust himself into his busy hands, picking up in speed and strength and his hips bucking and stirring. Fraser's large pale hands went to Ray's swaying hips, holding lightly and feeling Ray's sweet solo tempo under his touch, feeling every vibration and tremor of the slender body working itself into total completion.

"Oh Benny, this is it! I'm going to, going to, oh fuck yes!"

Fraser couldn't take it anymore. He had to be part of this. He couldn't let Ray do this to himself alone! Not anymore, never again!

"Ray! Stop! Stop! Please stop!"

Ray suddenly stopped and looked at him wide-eyed, his face painfully twisted in his near coming but he quickly pulled his hands away from his own cock, shaking and trembling. He was doing this because Benny had asked him to.

"Benny?"

Fraser looked at that throbbing flushed cock near ready to burst, and he couldn't help himself. He bent down and gave one swift wet lick to that leaking cockhead and then... Fraser suddenly jumped back as Ray let out a lightening streak of semen onto the air accompanied by a thunderous shriek.

"OH GOD BENNY!"

Fraser watched as his friend convulsed and rattled in front of him, the spasms of his orgasm swinging him hard and his shaven head arched back as if he was desperately drawing every drop of delight from this tidal wave.

Ray finally settled into a state of blissful sensual calm, stretching himself out in the bed like a lean lizard in the desert sun. The sexy reptile now stared up at his friend.

"Oh damn, Benny, that's not how it ends."

"How what ends, Ray?" Fraser was now helpfully licking his friend clean, amused with himself for being the sole cause of this sticky mess.

"Oh, you know Benny! I usually have no one finishing the job for me. Well anyway, thanks for coming to my rescue, love."

Fraser grinned at his lover, and blushed again as another request came to his lips.

"Um, Ray? Can I ask you something?"

"Ah jeez, Benny! I'm not ready yet to do that again, I need time to recuperate."

"No, not that Ray. I just wanted to ask you a personal question."

"Go ahead Benny." Ray sighed. Did Fraser have to ask his permission for everything?

"Um, have you ever, you know, pleased yourself while thinking about me?"

Ray's hazel eyes went round in shock again. This was turning out to be a very weird and erotic morning. What's exactly is in that tea Benny that has been drinking anyway?

"Damn, Fraser. You certainly know how to get to the point."

"So, it means you haven't." Fraser looked down with a mournful frown.

"Hey, of course I have, Benny. Jeez, many times before we became together. It helped me to keep myself sane."

"Really, Ray!" The Mountie had the biggest smile Ray had ever seen.

"Yeah, Benny. Congratulations."

"When was the first time Ray?"

"What?"

"When was the first time that you, well, you thought about me in those terms?"

"You remember after we first met and I was stupid enough to get nearly blown up by that goddamn bomb rigged up by Frank Drake in Chinatown?"

Benny sadly nodded. He had known Ray for only hours and already the Italian was risking his life for him and getting himself badly hurt. At the same time, he had found what a great friend he had in Ray and that helped him get through when dealing with his father's murder.

"Well, you ran off to your father's cabin and I had to come up after you when I finally figured out who your father's killer was. After that goddamn sleigh ride from hell being chased by those assholes on the snow mobiles, I was a little freaked out that we have almost gotten killed, and if any should ever happened to you I just didn't know what I would do. I think at that very moment I realized how much I really cared for you, Benny."

"Well, since you didn't have a bathroom in the cabin I had to go out in the middle of the damn woods. And well, I was thinking about you and I was all alone and, you know, it just sort of happened out there all in front of God's furry creatures. Oh damn, Benny, I can't believe I'm telling you this."

"My Ray, that was wonderful."

"Yeah Benny? Me having a good ole' time in the woods while you fed the troops? Ah, jeez. Oh, I'm sorry for almost blowing up your cabin with that grenade."

"There is nothing to be sorry for, Ray. You were only trying to protect yourself, my love."

Fraser had finished cleaning up his friend, and he sat up straight again to gaze down at his thin lover still glowing after that explosive orgasm.

"Let me tell you about my first time, Ray..."

"You did it too while thinking of me?"

"Um, yes Ray."

"Really? Oh my God! Me?" Ray was blinking at him, his face bewildered at such a revelation.

"Yes Ray, why are you so surprised?"

"I don't know? I guess I never thought anyone would think of me that way."

"Well, Ray, for a long time I couldn't think of anything else. As a matter of fact, it helped to pass time during sentry duty..."

"What? Are you telling me that while you were defending Canada, you were daydreaming away about screwing me?"

"Um, sorry Ray."

"Hey Benny, don't apologize to me, apologize to Canada. I am happy to assist in you any way in defending your nation."

"That's just silly, Ray."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm an American."

"Ray..."

"Benny, weren't you going to tell me about the first time you did it while thinking about me, huh?"

"Well Ray, it happened after that incident with Lenny the pizza delivery boy..."

"What?"

"I mean when we were investigating the Markles and their car lot after Lenny's car was stolen. What really started it was when I thought you had actually drowned in the trunk of that used car."

"Ah, jeez Benny. It's okay."

"I have never been so scared in my life, Ray. Well, after I pulled you out of that trunk and was carrying you over my shoulder, I just never felt so happy, so joyous, to be holding you and touching you, that you were still alive."

Ray's hazel eyes softened as Fraser related his poignant tale. Ray had to admit he thought he was going to meet his Maker that night, and was always eternally grateful that his Mountie was clever and courageous enough to rescue him.

"And when I sat you up on your car and looked into your face and eyes, I just knew right there and then that I really loved you. I simply felt it in my being, Ray."

Ray tenderly smiled back at his friend, stroking his soft dark hair. "I thought I felt something back there when you were holding me, Benny. I wished at that moment you would have told me what you felt for me."

"Well, I couldn't Ray. Your sister was present, remember? And I think she wouldn't have appreciated me revealing my inner feelings regarding you, Ray."

"Damn Frannie!"

"In fact Ray, if your sister wasn't present, I truly believe I would have kissed you right there on your car."

"Oh God Benny! I only wished you had! Hell, Frannie or no Frannie!"

"So later that night, after you dropped me off at my apartment, I could only fantasize about kissing you, Ray. And that's when I, um... pleasured myself while thinking about making love to you."

"Tell me all about it Benny, show me all your moves."

Ray sat up with a Cheshire cat grin and placed his hands on the Mountie's smooth chest, lightly pushing him down to lie flat on the bed. Ray sat between his spread legs, delicately touching the milky white thighs.

"Ray?"

"Let me see you do yourself Benny. Tell me what you fantasized that night, oh God, please."

"Uh, Ray, I don't know." Fraser began to panic, he wasn't expecting to have his very own turn in front of his friend. He was really scared that he may let Ray down, and he couldn't stand to do that again, not after what happened with Victoria.

"Please Benny, don't be scared to show me. I bet you look beautiful when you fuck yourself. Tell me what went on under that pelt of yours that night, lover. Do it for me, it'll be okay."

Fraser nervously smiled at his lean friend, fully trusting him, and he gingerly placed his large hands on his chest, his fingertips lightly tracing his pink nipples in tiny baby circles.

Ray sucked in a hard breath at the sight; it was the most exotic thing he had ever seen in his life: A shy Mountie fondling himself because Ray had asked him too. He had to really try hard to control himself and not jump his lover's pale body.

"Benny, oh God. Tell me now, baby. Tell me all about it."

"Well, Ray, I got you sitting up on your car and you are so cold and wet. And you are shivering really badly and I want to warm you up and make you so warm and safe, and so I take you in my arms and I hold you very tight. But you keep shivering, and your beautiful hands are cold and trembling, so I take your fingers and put them in my mouth to warm them."

Fraser could barely speak coherently as he began to stroke his snow-white chest; his hands seemed to flow in rhythm to the words pouring out of his mouth. He slowly felt himself melt down like a chunk of ice, melting under his own touch and under Ray's heated green gaze. He bravely ventured his hands lower and lower as he spoke.

"I just can't stop you from shivering Ray, and so I hold you tighter and tighter and then I feel you moan against me. Then I look up into your face and I want to kiss you so much because your lips are so cold and blue, and so I place my mouth completely over yours, and I breathe into you, giving you my heat..."

"Holy shit Benny! Oh God!" Ray was himself panting and staring at his shy friend as he relived his little secret reverie. And Ray nearly had a stroke when the Mountie's fingers finally reached their destination at the pubic hair.

Fraser was now gasping hard in between his words. "And I feel you move and slide inside my mouth, letting me know you are still alive and I simply want to swallow you whole. So I push you down and have you lying flat on your back on your car, and I see the need in your eyes, your need for more heat."

"Oh Benny, you know I want it."

Ray kept his voice low and calm, not wanting to break this arousing hypnotic state. He hoped Benny didn't mind a little of his commentary now and again, he couldn't help himself and he really wanted to be part of this little drama.

"I tear open your clothing Ray, I want to get at you and get inside you so badly I rip your clothes off and strip you down, and then I feel your own heat Ray! Oh God Ray, you are so hot and smooth and soft! I thought you were so cold, but you are really hot! I then spread your thighs and pull you up, and I see your beauty and want to come inside you and you are begging me to and I want to save you, and oh God I open my pants and I... oh God... I want... oh God!"

"Please tell me Benny! Tell me what you want!"

"I push and I push and I push and you are screaming and begging me to save you and I push! Oh God! I am inside! I am inside you Ray!"

At that moment Fraser roughly grabbed his pale hard cock with both of his hands, wrapping around himself firmly and he let out a cry as if he was really inside Ray. He frantically began to pump himself, his hands moving with dire urgency and his eyes now squeezed tightly shut. His back arched up off the bed to get more impact from his own hectic hands.

A swaying Ray was now holding steady to Fraser's thighs for support, mesmerized by the wild sight in front of his eyes. He couldn't believe he had this effect on the Mountie, making the man lose all of his self-control and sense of reason.

"Benny, you are so fucking gorgeous."

"Ray! I keep pushing inside you and you are burning me because you are so hot! I push so hard because I want to hear you scream my name and let me know you are still alive! Oh God Ray you are alive! You are so hot and strong and tight and alive! My Ray! Never leave me! Oh God Ray!"

Ray was shaking hard now as if he was really there on the hood of the car, wet and cold and trembling and being fucked mercifully by his Mountie savior.

Fraser was bucking and flailing and screaming for his Ray, and the detective was starting to feel a little uneasy, thinking how bad his best friend must have felt when he thought Ray may have drowned in the trunk of that car. Oh God, he wished he had known, he would have made it all better for his Benny.

"You are so tight all around me, Ray! I could feel all around inside you and the beating of your heart. Oh God Ray! It's like I'm touching your heart Ray! Ray! I'm going to come in you Ray! Ray!"

Ray couldn't stand it anymore and with a sob he tore Fraser's hands away and came down hard upon his lover, clamping down on the pale weeping cock with his hungry mouth.

"RAY!"

Ray furiously sucked and swallowed his friend, wanting to take as much of his lover in as humanly possible, just as much as Fraser wanted to be deeply inside him. He felt that uncut shaft down the back of his throat, moving smoothly and sweetly and Ray almost felt like crying at the sheer necessity of it all. They both needed each other so much and Ray now understood why the Mountie had reacted the way he did. Ray now wanted to give Fraser everything he had, with all of his heart and soul and mind.

And Ray let his mouth do the rest.

"RAY! RAY! OH GOD!"

Fraser erupted hotly into that greedy mouth, his dark head thrown back and his hips high off the bed with a loud piercing wail. His pale body shuddered and shook with the blinding fury of his orgasm like a wild adrenaline backlash.

He finally sank back against the bed, stunned and airless, that beating-blood feeling in his cock slowly subsiding. Fraser quietly came to a liberating realization: Ray had come to his rescue just as he had done for Ray.

It was a team effort.

The Mountie smiled at the discovery, observing this the way one might observe some principle of nature.

Ray now looked up at him with those subtly feral eyes and wet glistening lips, very much like a wild wolf after devouring its meal.

Fraser stared at him, at his sly wolf.

"Ray, that's not how it ends."

endnote: Raised as a Roman Catholic I was taught that masturbation could send you straight to hell, but nobody ever mentioned that writing about it could do the same.