by Jennifer Swanson
Ben noticed, for the second day in a row, that Ray was driving a new and unusual round-about way to get them to work. He hadn't asked yesterday why he had changed it, because the enigmatic look on Ray's face at the time, made him steer clear for fear of angering his friend. Afterall Ray was doing him a good turn by agreeing to carpool him to work; he didn't want to push his luck. Besides he figured that it was either a mistake or Ray had an errand to run in this area. But today they were going this route again. His curiosity just couldn't be held in check any longer, "Ray, I've noticed this is the second day, in as many, we've gone this way to work. Why aren't you going the usual route? Is there a problem with the old way?" Ray knew that Ben would eventually ask him this. What surprised him was that his normally observant and curious friend hadn't asked him this same question yesterday. He snapped out a quick, "Its a short-cut, ok?" Ray spared a quick glance in the rearview mirror and could see Fraser working on the math and logic in his head to prove it wasn't. He wasn't disappointed, "Ray it takes us at least 7 minutes longer to go this way rather than the old way. I fail to see how you can consider this a 'short cut'. Besides which its highly likely we'll get caught behind that school bus again on Taylor Boulevard." The bus in question was right on schedule and ahead of them. Ray, who would normally have been frustrated and angered to have been forced to go slower, actually seemed pleased that the bus was there.
Ben started to really study his friend closely now. Something more was going on here than just this so-called "short-cut". They were following an elementary school bus, which periodically made stops along the way to pick up a few small children here and there in front of different homes.
At the third stop since following the bus, Ray's face changed. Was it possible to look both happy and sad at the same time? That's what it seemed like to Ben. He couldn't make out what was going on in his friend's head and he decided he wouldn't press. If Ray wanted to tell him, he would in his own way and time. It was also then that he noticed Ray paying particular attention to one of the children at this stop. The child was a young boy about 10 or 11 years old. He was thin, with dark hair and mediterranean looks. The boy was also very high-spirited, as he horsed around with some of the other children at the stop. It was when the child smiled, it struck Ben that Ray must have looked alot like this boy at that age. "Do you know that boy Ray?", he asked. "No, never met him. Seems like a good kid. Reminds me of me at that age." "Its funny you said that, because I was just thinking he looks a little like you must have when you were a boy. I thought maybe he was a nephew or cousin of your's. You seem to be related to most of Chicago Ray.", he laughed at that. But the comment hit too close to home for Ray. He couldn't keep his secret locked up inside any longer, he needed to share this with someone he trusted, "Benny, he is related to me. But not a nephew or cousin. He's my son."
There were so many things about his best friend that he didn't know, but he would have thought that if his friend had had a son he would have told him earlier than now. "I don't mean to pry into your personal business Ray, but you recently told me about your ex-wife Angie. Is she the mother?"
Ray swallowed the lump caught in his throat, "No. He's Irene's son too. I just found out about him after she died. A mutual friend visited me last week. She said that Irene had made her promise to deliver a letter to me, should she ever die. In it she told me about Kyle, my son." Ray hit on the highlights of the letter Irene had left for him, but every word was burned into his soul now:
MY DEAREST RAY,
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, THEN ALICE KEPT HER PROMISE TO ME. SHE'S BEEN A TRUE FRIEND AND CONFIDANTE TO ME FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU, SHE MAY BE ABLE TO HELP.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE OR HOW TO BEGIN. I SUPPOSE I'LL START WITH SAYING, WITH ALL MY HEART, THAT YOU ARE MY ONLY TRUE LOVE. I'M SORRY THAT I WAS SUCH A COWARD. IF I HADN'T BEEN, I WOULD HAPPILY BE YOUR WIFE, AS YOU ONCE ASKED OF ME. I'M STILL HAUNTED BY THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE, WHEN YOU CAME TO MY WINDOW READY TO ELOPE AND I TURNED YOU AWAY. MY FATHER HAD WALKED BY MY DOOR THEN AND I PANICKED. I HAVE ALWAYS REGRETTED NOT GOING WITH YOU.
WE NEVER GOT TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER THAT, BECAUSE I WAS SHIPPED OFF TO TRAVEL THROUGH EUROPE SOON AFTER. DAD THOUGHT IT WOULD DO ME SOME GOOD TO BE AWAY FROM HERE. BUT I KNOW HE MEANT, SO I'D BE AWAY FROM YOU.
WHAT YOU AND MY FAMILY DIDN'T KNOW WAS THAT I WAS PREGNANT WHEN I LEFT.
I WAS YOUNG, SCARED AND STUPID, BUT I KNEW I WANTED YOUR CHILD IN OUR WORLD, EVEN IF I COULDN'T KEEP HIM WITH ME. WHILE I WAS IN PARIS, ON MAY 1, 1985, I DELIVERED A BEAUTIFUL HEALTHY BABY BOY. I NAMED HIM KYLE RAYMOND.
NO ONE BUT ALICE, MY TRAVELLING COMPANION AT THE TIME, KNEW THAT I HAD THIS CHILD. I STAYED IN EUROPE FOR 3 MONTHS MORE AFTER HIS BIRTH, BUT I COULDN'T KEEP AWAY FROM MY FAMILY MUCH LONGER.
I COULDN'T LET MY FAMILY KNOW ABOUT KYLE, SO ALICE AND I DEVISED A PLAN WHERE SHE WOULD CLAIM OUR SON AS HER'S. SHE'S BEEN CARING FOR HIM EVER SINCE AND LOVES HIM AS IF HE WERE REALLY HER OWN. I'VE BEEN HELPING SUPPORT HIM AND HAVE PROVISIONS IN MY WILL TO CONTINUE TO DO SO.
I WAS LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO WATCH HIM GROW UP, BY VISITING WITH HIM WHENEVER I COULD. HE REMINDS ME ALOT OF YOU, ESPECIALLY HIS EXPRESSIVE EYES AND BEAUTIFUL SMILE. IT ALWAYS HURT WHEN HE'D CALL ME AUNT IRENE. IT HURT EVEN MORE TO KNOW THAT YOU AND HE WEREN'T IN MY LIFE, THE WAY YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
I'M SORRY.
GOOD-BYE MY LOVE,
IRENE
The End