Ben heard the music better as soon as he unlocked the apartment door. To his surprise, it sounded orchestral, full of strings. Powerful. He saw Ray, whose hair was still mussed and sticking out in all directions from a lazy Sunday morning in bed, standing near the stereo. Eyes closed, motionless save for his deep breathing, Ray seemed to be absorbing the music rather than simply listening to it.

Diefenbaker prepared to bark a greeting, but Ben shushed him, and for once he obeyed. Ben loved to watch Ray, especially in moments when his partner was utterly unselfconscious. He closed the door behind them and settled back to listen and watch.

Drums rumbled, then the orchestra disappeared, replaced by a grating sound and then rock 'n' roll drums and crunching electric guitars. Ray started to move. Calling it "dancing" seemed wrong; it was unstructured, lacking definable steps, free of forethought. This seemed more a primal, moment-by-moment reaction to the music. Graceful, beautiful, wild, Ray *moved*. It should have been a sin for him to be doing this in old sweatpants when Ben saw him in paints and skins.

Ray licked his lips in a sensual but swift swirl of tongue, then sang along when the singer started. His light voice was good if untrained, and he let it run free. "Where do I put the shame? / It feels like a broken toy / I can't play with / Anymore / Where do I put the hate? / To a pixilated screen / I can't watch anymore..."

The lyrics made no sense to Ben, but he wasn't really listening to the words, not when he was trying to experience the sound of Ray's voice and the music just as deeply as Ray was. Tried to feel it through his body, in his blood and bones, and let it speak to him. Tried to feel what Ray felt.

The music seemed to hit another gear and sweep as the guitars disappeared, the orchestra returned, and something that sounded to Ben like manipulated cuckoo clocks came in. Ray started to rock in a more sinuous motion, hips swaying in a beckoning swing, arms moving in a smooth winding way that suggested mystic Indian dances. "All I know is that I'm here / Drifting somewhere in the vast / Somewhere in eternity / Hey / And I never want to / Leave..."

Ben needed to *feel* him doing this, but then the song shifted back into the crunching music of its stanzas //"Where do I put the books? / There's so many I could read...", and Ray went back to the jerkier bounces he'd been doing before. But this time Ben was waiting for the next chorus. "I have faith that you're out there / Living high up in the vast..." Ben stood behind Ray, but before he could step forward Ray stepped back into him and smiled sweetly. Melted together, he really had no choice but to move his hips with Ray, lose himself in sound, vibration, and his partner. Putting his arms around Ray's waist and licking the tiny trails of sweat that ran down his neck needed no excuse. "Somewhere in eternity / Hey / And you're never gonna leave..."

But then the music slowed again, and so did Ray. "Have I been telling lies to myself?" Ray lifted his arms high above his head before locking them behind Ben's neck. "Hold me now, you know / I am so afraid to be / At all..."

As the music sped up again, Ben whispered, "How long?"

Ray just smiled, sang, and moved, taking Ben with him, until the next pause from singing, which came right after he belted, "I looked in, and I felt no hate." Then he said, "At 'drifting somewhere in the vast,' first chorus. Bit of a Peeping Tom, ain't ya?" His next hip sway was longer and deeper, hitting all the right places, sheer torture for Ben.

Ben nipped Ray's neck. "Is that a complaint?"

"I never complain." Ray started to sing along again. "Mmm, where do I put the love? / Oh, where do I put the love? / Yeah, where do I put the love?" Then the song ended with a low thrumming noise.

"I have some idea of where you could put the love, Ray."

Ray smiled. "I was counting on that, Ben."

**********************THE END***********************

More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room at http://members.tripod.com/~drovar/viridian/

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In its entirety:

"Here" by VAST

Where do I put the shame?
It feels like a broken toy
I can't play with
Anymore
Where do I put the hate?
To a pixilated screen
I can't watch anymore

All I know is that I'm here
Drifting somewhere in the vast
Somewhere in eternity
Hey
And I never want to
Leave

Where do I put the books?
There's so many I could read
But they all are filled with lies
Where do I put the lies?
There's so many I could say
But it seems they're in the books

I have faith that you're out there
Living high up in the vast
Somewhere in eternity
Hey
And you're never going to leave

Have I been telling lies to myself?
Hold me now, you know
I am so afraid to be
At all
Have I been telling lies to myself?
Hold me now, you know
I am so afraid to love
At all

I looked up, and I saw the moon
It's in the same one that betrayed you
I looked up, and I saw my place
I looked in, and I felt no hate

Mmm, where do I put the love?
Oh, where do I put the love?
Yeah, where do I put the love?