I Love You
-------------

"Fraser, I love you!" Ray Kowalski blurted to the man sitting across
from him at his desk. //Oh sh*t, did I just say that out loud?// 

Benton Fraser glanced up from the file he had been reading and looked
at his partner. "And I you, Ray," he said before returning to his reading.

"I mean it, Frase, I love you."

"Of course you mean it, Ray. I'm sure you wouldn't have said it if you
didn't mean it."

Ray groaned. He hadn't known how Fraser would react to his declaration,
but somehow this was not what he was expecting.

"So, that's it?" he asked the Mountie. "Just, 'and I you, Ray' and everything
is just fine?"

"Did you expect something else from me, Ray?" inquired his partner. 

"Well, I'm not like an expert on how a guy's s'posed to act when another
guy says he's in love with him, but..."

Benton interrupted him. "You didn't say that you're in love with me.
Just that you love me."

"Okay, let me say it again. I, Stanley Raymond Kowalski, am in love with
you, Benton Fraser. Is that clear enough for ya?"

"You're sure, Ray?" asked Fraser.

"Of course I'm sure! Why do you think I wouldn't be?"

"Well, forgive me, but you've said before that you love me...
and you've always added some sort of qualifier. You love me like
a brother, or you love me in a 'symbolic' way. "

Ray could not believe that he was having this conversation. He also could
not believe *where* he was having this conversation. The 
detective jumped up and grabbed the Mountie's Stetson.

"Let's go for a drive, Frase."

Ben looked surprised but followed his partner out to his car. The two
men (and a wolf) got in and no one said a word until they arrived at
the shore of Lake Michigan and Ray stopped the engine and got out, expecting
Fraser and Dief to follow him, which they did.

"So, Fraser, when I said I loved you those other times ...that's what's
bugging you? That I didn't mean it when I said it before, so how come
I do now?"

" 'How come' is not proper grammar, Ray," said Fraser, attempting to
stall.

Ray laughed. "Thanks for the English lesson, Frase. So, do you want to
know *why* I  - how did you put it - 'qualified' the other times I said
I loved you?"

"Yes, Ray." 

The detective sighed. "Okay, I'll tell ya. When I said I loved ya like
a brother, I thought I meant it like that. I figgered, yeah, I love him,
but he's a *guy* fer cryin' out loud. Guys don't love other guys, unless
they mean it like in a brotherly way. An' besides that, there were all
these other cops around, so I wasn't gonna let any of them hear me say
I loved another guy."

Ben nodded. "Understood," he said softly. Kowalski wasn't certain, but
he thought his friend sounded slightly hurt. He continued.

"So, then there was that stabbing in the mall, when we were supposed
to be dedicating that Inuit sculpture, and everyone was lying to protect
everyone else, and it was getting really confusing, remember? And then
you proved that Pool Boy was lying, protecting his girlfriend, an' I
remember thinking that was one of the things I love about you, how you
can just cut through all the bull that everyone feeds ya to find out
the truth. And I just said it without even thinking about where we were
- I just said 'I love you.' An' then I got scared. Even when you said
you loved me too - I didn't even hear it at first, I was just trying
to cover up, backtrack, make it seem like I didn't mean it, 'cause I
was afraid you'd reject me." 

"So why now, Ray? Why did you say it now?"

"Well, actually, it just sorta slipped out. I was thinking out loud."

"And this time, you didn't backtrack or try to cover it up. In fact,
you said you meant it, this time. Aren't you afraid that I will
reject you?"

"No, Frase, I'm not," said Ray. "I know you better now. I know what kind
of a person you are. Even if you don't - don't feel the same, I know
you won't reject me. I trust ya, Fraser."

"In that case, Ray, I think you know me well enough to use my first name."

"Ya mean, call you Benton?"

"Or Ben, if you prefer."

"Okay....uh, Ben? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, Ray."

"When I said that I love you, you said, 'And I you, Ray.' What did you
mean when you said that?"

"I meant what I said," answered the Mountie.

"You said that you loved me," Kowalski stated.

"And I do," responded his partner.

"So do you mean that in like, a symbolic way, or in a brotherly way?"

"Neither. I mean it in a ... romantic way. I love you, Ray."

Ray Kowalski kissed his partner. "An' I you, Ben."

END