Ray Kowalski watched Fraser cracking his back. The Mountie'd had back
problems since Ray Vecchio had shot him a couple of years ago. Ray shook
his head. Sometimes he wondered how Vecchio had been able to live with
himself after shooting his partner. Even if Vecchio wasn't in love with
Fraser, the way he, Kowalski, was, by all accounts the two had been very
close. The entire Victoria story made Kowalski nervous sometimes. He
wondered if he would ever have to compete with a woman for Fraser's affection.

He had to smile as he remembered the night Fraser had confessed his feelings.
They'd been in the park, sitting by a campfire, attempting to cook spaghetti.
Ray had been berating himself for letting Luanne Russel get away. "If
a woman is interested in me, I keep thinking there must be something
wrong with her," he'd told Fraser. "Why do I do that?" Then he'd added,
"It wasn't you, you know. The things I accused you of doing. It was me."

"You weren't entirely wrong," Fraser said, after telling his crazy Loo
Scagnetti story. "There was a reason I acted the way I did. 
I was jealous."

Ray remembered the odd way Fraser had acted around Luanne. He'd deliberately
interrupted when she was kissing Ray. He'd tried very hard to get Ray
to *not* watch Luanne undress through the blinds. At the time he'd just
assumed it was Fraser being himself, always the gentleman. Now he looked
at it again. "Jealous? Of Luanne?" he asked.

"Of you and Luanne, yes," admitted Ben. "I know that you couldn't possibly
feel that way about me. I just thought ... you should know." 

In response, Ray had grabbed Fraser and kissed him till both men
were gasping for air. They'd pawed each other for a bit until Ray had
declared they were about to be arrested for public indecency, and they'd
gone back to his apartment to do their indecent things
in private.

That had been a few weeks ago. Now they were involved in this
case with Lady Shoes, and it was Ray's turn to be jealous. He'd just
walked in on Denny Scarpa giving Fraser a back rub at the Consulate.
Ben was being all innocent, but Ray had seen the shark in his underwear
- and he wasn't referring to Scarpa wearing Fraser's longjohns. Though
that was kind of suspicious too.

//There's nothing to be jealous of// Ray told himself. //You're
doing it again - figuring that if he wants you, there must be
something wrong. Don't jump to conclusions. You have to trust
him.//

Denny took Dief and Ante and shut herself in Fraser's office. Ray grinned
at his lover. 'Alone at last' said the look that Fraser was giving him.
Maybe that shark in Fraser's shorts wasn't such a bad thing after all.
Just then there was a knock at the door and the Feds walked in. Damn.
it. Underwear shark hunting would have to wait.

So it turned out that Fraser had been bluffing. He'd gotten Lady
Shoes to trust him and proved what she had really been up to. Now he
and Fraser were in the deserted precinct, having just seen off the feds
with their prisoner, and they were playing cards. //See, there was nothing
to be jealous of// Ray told himself.

He tuned back in to what Fraser was saying. Talking about how
he'd found out Scarpa hadn't really gone to med school. "And when she
was kissing me..."

Wait a minute, hold on. "You KISSED her?" Ray demanded.

"She kissed me."

Ray sighed. "What was it like?" He tried to stay calm.

"Delightful."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"That the kiss was delightful?" Fraser was being deliberately obtuse,
Ray thought.

"Not the kiss, not the kiss," Ray backtracked. He wouldn't let on he
was jealous. He couldn't let Fraser see how vulnerable he'd
become.

Back to the card game. That was safe. "What's the ante?"
Ben asked.

"Um, air."

They played a hand, and Fraser won. Of course.

"I'll take that air now, Ray," Ben declared.

"I'm uh, I'm all tapped out," said Ray. The only way he could
think of to pay Fraser his air was by kissing him.
There was no way he was touching his mouth to Fraser's after
the man had just kissed Lady Shoes.

"I want you to honour your wager," Ben was saying.

"Look, Fraser, why don't you go collect your air from Lady Shoes," Ray
blurted.

Oh, dear. Ray was obviously upset. Ben didn't blame him. He should never
have let Denny Scarpa get that close to him. It had been part of his
plan to get her to trust him so that he could find out
what her plan was, but it had gone too far. And now Ray had been hurt.

He'd been washing himself in the men's room when Ray walked in. He'd
felt dirty after kissing Scarpa. And Ray was only concerned for him,
wanted him to be safe. He tried to get Fraser to back out of the
deal he'd made to join the poker game. Ray didn't want him to get hurt.
He'd seen Ray's concern over the way his back had been 
bothering him lately. Of course, Ray knew about the shooting. It was
in Ray Vecchio's file. And he'd seen the scar and knew the bullet was
still there. "No wonder your back hurts," he'd said after seeing it for
the first time.

Because of Victoria, he'd betrayed Ray Vecchio, his best friend.
Now he had betrayed his lover for a woman. Ray had wondered if
there was something wrong with him that made him suspicious of anyone
that seemed interested in him. Was there something wrong with Ben that
made him hurt the people he loved?

"Ray ... I'm sorry. I didn't intend for it to happen. She really did
kiss me - I didn't kiss her."

"So what did you do about it? Push her away? Run? Tell her you have a
boyfriend?" Ray asked sarcastically.

"She had to trust me. I couldn't do anything without arousing her suspicion.
But I did leave her before .. before things went
any further."

"When?" 

"When what?" asked Ben, confused.

"When exactly did this kiss happen?"

"When she was in the cells ... after I won the candy from you and Detectives
Huey and Dewey."

"So before the big game, when I left you alone outside her door - did
you go in?"

"No. I wouldn't do that to you, Ray."

"Yeah? It might have been even more *delightful* than kissing her." 

"I was delighted by the kiss because it meant that she trusted me - but
the kiss itself made me feel dirty inside. I knew that I had
betrayed you. That hurt me - it hurt more than my back hurts."

Ray could feel himself beginning to thaw. No matter what, he really couldn't
stay angry at Fraser. He loved his partner. Maybe he could live with
the kiss. He sighed and drew another card. "I bet another fifty of air,"
he said, snatching a handful of air and throwing it on to the desk.

"I love you, Ray," Fraser said suddenly.

Ray tried not to smile. "Concentrate on your game, Fraser," he said.

"All right. I see your fifty and raise you another fifty."

They played their hand and soon Ray owed more air to his lover.

"When do I get to collect on that I.O.U.?" the Mountie asked
innocently.

Ray stood up, leaned over Fraser and kissed him hard. "Now
how much do I owe you?" he asked.

"Oh, at least another hundred," replied Fraser.

"Can you wait till we get to my place to collect?"

"Only if you throw in a back rub to go with that air."

END