Disclaimer: This story is written for the private entertainment of fans. The author makes no claims on the characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story. Fraser, Vecchio, et.al. belong to Alliance; the McKenzies and friends belong to me; Cat Madden belongs to Carol Trendall and is used with permission. No infringement of any copyrights held by CBS, Alliance, CTV or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is intended. This story is not published for profit, and the author does not give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit.

"Spuds" McKenzie

by Cassandra Hope

(Copyright March 1998)

Phil rubbed the aching muscles in her arms then slowly inched to her feet. Groaning dramatically, she complained to the small group around the morning coffeepot, "I can barely walk. My arms and legs ache. My butt is one solid bruise and you ask me if I want to do it all over again?"

Phil's eyes grew large at the mention of Travis' stash of beer. "No thanks, Travis. I have no desire for a repeat performance of that little escapade!"

"Escapade?" Ben's ears perked up.

Too late Phil realized she'd opened a can of worms. "It's nothing, really, Ben. Just one of the small incidents that happen on each trip." She stumbled over the words in her haste to allay his suspicions.

Maybe it was the haste in which the words tumbled forth or the panicked look on her face, whatever it was, Ben knew he was onto something.

Even Ray sensed there was more to it than Phil let on as the group around the fire erupted into laughter--all except Phil, Ben, and himself. Curiosity piqued, Ray stared at Phil as she stretched, trying to limber her aching muscles. "What little incident?"

Travis gasped for breath then nudged his brother. Phil turned a baleful eye on the duo. "Don't you dare," she threatened.

"Dare what?" Ben's raised eyebrows accentuated his question.

Terry blew on his coffee then smiled over the rim of the cup at Phil. "I don't think Phil wants me to reveal her penchant for skinny-dipping."

"Skinny-dipping? Phil skinny-dips?" Ray's jaw dropped in amazement.

"I most certainly did not!" Phil cast a desperate glance around the fire at the faces turned toward her. The knowing grins plastered across their faces sent a momentary shaft of doubt through her. "At least I'm almost certain I didn't. TJ said I passed out before I..." her voice faltered at the smirks passed between the Hunters. "TJ wouldn't lie to me. Carol back me up on this."

Carol grinned then wagged her head. "Don't look at me, Phil. As I recall..."

Travis interrupted her, "As I recall, you weren't far behind her." He shook his head in amazement. "I've never seen two women strip as fast..."

"Travis! That's enough of that!" Phil towered over the Hunter brothers daring them to reveal that 'incident' from their common pasts.

Travis raised his hands in surrender then glanced over at Ben. "Sorry, Ben, I'll have to tell you that little story some other time," he grinned unrepentantly at Phil, "sometime when Spuds isn't here to threaten me!"

Ben grinned back. "I'll take you up on that, Travis." He enjoyed the friendly banter between the small group around the morning fire. Phil's taste in friends was always enjoyable. Ben found that he liked Travis and Terry and their wives. He would miss them when this trip was over. He glanced over at Phil as she settled back onto the ground. She radiated a vitality that drew him like a magnet and his body ached for her touch. He would definitely miss her.

By this time the rest of the participants were stirring and several approached the group around the fire. "What's so funny?" Dave McMillian asked.

"Nothing, Dave," Phil answered. "These characters were just assassinating my good reputation."

"What reputation?" Travis joked.

Phil rolled her eyes. "The one I had before you opened your mouth!"

"As I recall, Spuds, you were the one who brought up that subject."

"Yeah, and you're gonna make damn sure I never forget about it."

"Nope." Travis grinned candidly at her. "It's just another colorful episode here in the Canyon--a lot like you and Lava Falls."

"Gee thanks for reminding me of that one!" Phil chuckled as she hung her head and shook it.

* * *

After a breakfast of ham and cheese omelets and fresh melon slices, Phil took her place near the dories and addressed the group. "Let me read today's excerpts from Powell's journal then we'll negotiate Tapeats and make our first stop at Deer Creek Falls, about 2 miles downstream."

The group gathered by the dories to resume their journey down the river. Phil waited a moment then began reading.

"All right, folks. Today we will be traversing a major stretch of the Canyon. We will make stops at Deer Creek Falls, Kanab Creek, and Matkatamiba Canyon. This will be one of our quieter days on the river."

"And just what does that mean?" Ray asked sarcastically.

Phil smiled at Ray and motioned with her head toward the riffles that marked the beginning of Tapeats. "After Tapeats Rapid we will have several stretches of relatively calm water."

"I thought you said yesterday that we'd hit Upset Rapids today," he pointed out.

"I did, Ray, and we will. It's just that this stretch is what I call a lazy sucker stretch."

That had everyone's attention. "Sucker stretch?" Ray expressed the question on everyone's mind.

"Yeah, sucker stretch. The rapids, except for Tapeats and Upset, are relatively minor. It lulls you into thinking that the river has calmed down and you can handle anything it throws at you." She shrugged diffidently but her I-know-something-you-don't-know smile was back in place.

"Which is actually a sense of false security?" Ben could read Phil's body language quite well.

Her features became more animated. "Correct, Ben. Past Havasu Creek, where we'll spend tomorrow, the Colorado enters the volcanics. And shortly after that comes Lava Falls. A meaner rapid, I have yet to see."

"Or negotiate in a boat," Travis muttered a little too loudly to be accidental.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and remind me, Travis." The group gathered around Phil chuckled. A well-established fact by now, everyone knew of Phil's past confrontations with Lava Falls.

"Maybe we should hold a wake or something for Phil," Matt Hamm, one of the geologists, suggested.

"Actually, I think we should sit on her and pour beer down her throat until she loosens up," Travis whispered to Ben.

Phil spun around and pointed a finger at him. "I heard that, Travis. There will be no--and I repeat--no repetition of that incident."

"I don't blame you, Spuds. It would be almost impossible to top that performance."

Carol and Josie burst out laughing and Phil turned to stare at the pair. "Carol, I'm surprised at you. From what I recall, you didn't handle the situation any better than me."

Carol grinned and snuggled closer to her husband. "That's true, Phil, but look what it got me." The look she shared with Travis was full of the love they had for each other.

Seeing the look shared by Carol and Travis, Phil's eyes slid to Ben. The smoldering flame she saw in his eyes startled her. She quickly averted her eyes as a quiver surged through her veins. She should be thinking of her future with Martin not dwelling on her past and the promises made years ago. Yet, his nearness kindled feelings of fire and set her heart pounding to a primeval rhythm. How could she possibly handle these last few days?

* * *

Ben's face split with a smile of genuine pleasure. "Thank you kindly, Travis. I'd enjoy that."

"Okay. If today is gonna be so damn easy, why not let me try my hand at steering that damn boat?" Ray stumbled to a stop realizing what he'd just asked.

Travis grinned wickedly at Ray. "Think you can handle it?"

"Now, Ray. Do you think that's wise?" Ben cautioned.

"Why not, Benny? If you can do it and Phil can do it, why not me? It would give me something to think about other than wondering when you were gonna dump us in the river."

"What's going on here?" Phil asked as she settled into her seat beside Ben in the stern of the dory.

"Really?" She grinned past Travis to Ray in the bow. Giving him a thumbs-up, she shouted, "I think that's great!"

"Phil!" Ben groaned as he helped Travis cast off the boat and handed the oars to him.

Tapeats and 135 Mile Rapids receded behind the small flotilla of boats as they entered the Granite Narrows. Here the canyon walls squeezed the river into the narrowest passage of the entire length of the Canyon. The black walls towered over the tiny boats as if to remind them of their insignificance in the nature of things. Each twist and turn of the river seemed to draw the walls in closer.

"Okay, Phil, how much longer do we have to wait for these wall to close in completely and these dinky little boats can't get through?" Ray called from the bow.

""Ray, these walls will never quite close in that much." Phil scratched her head, then continued, "At least they hadn't the last time I was here."

"You certainly don't instill much confidence in me," Ray grumbled before turning back to watch the walls narrow even further.

Soon the roar of falling water reached their ears. Plunging over 100 feet into a red rock alcove where mists clouded the waterfall, Deer Creek Falls formed a plunge pool only a few feet from the Colorado River. The dories stopped and the group separated into two. Phil led a small group up above the falls to the source of Deer Creek. The rest of the group spent some time splashing around in the pool at the base of the waterfall.

This time, however, Phil did not have to worry about Ray or Ben accidentally pushing her over the edge. The edge this time was much too steep and the drop too long. Besides, Mara was doing her best to make sure that Ben was otherwise occupied.

"Phil, you know he's not going to say anything to her," Ray commented as he and Phil paused to watch the others catch up with them. They watched as Ben stopped and stood quite still before turning to offer a hand up to Mara who had lagged behind. "Although, I don't think I've seen him this ticked off in quite a while."

"This next portion of the trail is quite narrow, Ray. Maybe I can help Ben a little bit with his problem."

"I don't think that is going to be enough to discourage her."

Phil nodded her head in agreement before calling to the Mountie, "Ben? Could I borrow you for a moment?"

Ben glanced quickly at Phil when she called to him. If she asked him to jump off the cliff beside the trail he would gladly do that just to get away from his 'thorn-in-the-flesh'. Extracting his arm from Mara's clinging grasp, he threaded his way past Jim Trexler and Kim Walker. Mara followed on his heels. "What can I do for you, Phil?" he asked as he pushed past Ray. He did not see Ray straddle the trail preventing Mara from following.

Phil, on the other hand, saw exactly what Ray had done. She gave him an imperceptible thumbs-up and was rewarded with a flash of Ray's brilliant grin. "Ben, I thought you might like to lead us through this next section." Ben's eyebrows rose a fraction. Glancing over his shoulder he caught sight of Mara's stormy features behind Ray's back. Comprehending at last, he nodded his head and said, "I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to do that, Phil." As he passed by her he whispered, "Thank you kindly." Phil smiled crookedly and imperceptibly nodded her head.

Ben led them up the trail through the narrow defile that defined the course of Deer Creek. No one questioned the need for a single-file approach although Mara grumbled a bit about her position in the middle. Even when the trail widened, Mara still found it impossible to get past the Italian and the leader of this excursion. Finally, the group reached the headwaters of Deer Creek. Much as Thunder River had originated from springs high on the cliff wall, Deer Creek, too, originated from a spring that spouted its flood from the canyon wall opposite the trail.

Phil pointed toward the continuation of the trail up the narrow canyon. "If you ever have a chance to return here, this trail will take you over the ridge and into the Tapeats drainage. In fact, it will take you to Thunder River. It will also take you into some of the backcountry of the canyon--areas that see very few visitors."

"Have you hiked this backcountry?" Ben asked.

"Some of it but not all. That's something I plan to do eventually. I was going to do some hiking last year but I..."

"Fell down a mine shaft and broke your ankle?"

Phil chuckled. "I guess Cat told you that story?"

"That and much more."

"Do you ever get the feeling that she's trying to interfere in our lives?" Phil asked as she gazed into his face.

Dropping his eyes, Ben nervously twisted the tail of his T-shirt. "All the time, Phil, all the time," he finally answered. He lifted his eyes when he heard her chuckle.

"We're just going to have to do something about that, Ben, don't you think?"

"What did you have in mind?" He asked as he casually looped her arm in his and turned them back down the trail.

"I don't know yet," Phil mused as she rested her other hand on his arm, "but I'm sure that between the two of us we can come up with something."

Suddenly feeling 100 pounds lighter, Ben laughed. It was a carefree laugh; one he'd not had in a long time.

Ray grinned to himself as he continued to run interference for Ben. He was a bit startled when Mara sidled up to him and hissed, "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Ray. I've got eyes."

Ray grasped her arm as she pushed passed him. "If you've got eyes, Mara, then why don't you use them? Can't you tell that he's not interested in you?"

"That's 'cause you and that...that..."

"Watch what you say," Ray growled.

"That woman don't give him a moment's rest. No one else has a chance to get close to him with you and her around. How do you know he's not interested? Has he said so?"

"Of course not. He's too polite to do that."

"So you don't know. Just like I thought. Just 'cause I'm not interested in you doesn't mean that you need to spoil it for your friend...if he is your friend," Mara sneered.

"He's more of a friend that you will ever know, Mara. Take the hint and leave him alone."

"Or what?"

"Or you're going to get hurt."

"Is that a threat?"

"No, but when he finally tells you to fuck off you're going to realize everything I've said is true."

"If he's so polite, he won't tell me that."

"That's not the point, Mara. Does he have to tell you that to get you to leave him alone?"

"Yeah, he does." Mara wrenched her arm from Ray's grasp and vanished down the trail on the search for the elusive Mountie. Ray sighed running his hands over his face. 'Why does Benny collect these nutcases?' he asked himself as he started back down the trail as well.

Ray caught up with Mara and was pleased to note that Jim and Kim made an effective barrier between Mara and her prey. He was also pleased to note that Ben and Phil seemed to be hitting it off quite well today. Maybe things were looking up at last.

* * *

"Damn!" Phil muttered as she lost the second of three tries. The gathered boatmen laughed and shouted. "Can we try this again?" she pled.

"Pay up, Spuds," Travis chortled as he climbed out of the dory and strutted his best imitation of a victory dance.

"Damn!" Phil muttered again as she settled into the stern and removed her shoes and then her T-shirt revealing a bright green swimsuit top snuggly clinging to her figure.

Ben gaze dropped from her eyes to her shoulders to her scantily clad breasts. His eyes widened and he quickly drew his attention back to Phil's face. Never allowing his eyes to drop below the level of her chin, he cleared his throat nervously and asked, "Phil, do you mind telling me what's going on?" Ben's eyes again wandered south as she stood and placed a bare foot on the gunwale of the dory. His gaze raked over her slender body; her ragged shorts emphasizing a narrow waist that flared into agilely rounded hips tapering to long lithe thighs. It was a purely sensual experience, and Ben felt a familiar shiver of awareness.

Turning to answer him, Phil screeched as Travis and Terry grabbed her and lifted her above their heads. Ron and Brian grabbed her legs and the four men ran toward muddy effluence of Kanab Creek. Carol and Josie sat on the gunwale of the dory and laughed until tears streamed down their faces.

Concerned, Ben shot out of the dory with Ray right behind him. They followed the men to the muddy waters of Kanab Creek. The rest of the group followed along sensing something was about to happen. They watched as the four men sat Phil gently down in the waters of the Kanab about four feet from shore.

"Guys, be gentle!" She raised her hands in a plea.

"Oh, we'll be gentle, Spuds!"

The group on the bank watched horrified as the four men harvested handful after handful of gooey mud from the creek bottom and smeared it all over Phil's body. When all but her head was covered, Travis motioned for the group to step back.

Phil breathed a sigh of relief. She had not looked forward to washing mud from her hair. The mud already ran down behind the scrap of bathing suit and she didn't quite like the feel of it oozing down between her 'buns' and sliding out the legs of her shorts. It looked like the guys were going to spare her the final insult of having to wash mud from her face and hair. Her relief was premature.

Travis winked at her then turned to the group on the bank. "Would anyone like to finish the job?"

The words were barely out of his mouth before Ray was scooping mud into his hands. Phil's eyes widened but it wasn't Ray she watched. Ben, too, now carried a large glob of mud in his hands.

Hoping to forestall the inevitable, Phil bargained, "I think you should know, Ben, Ray...if you put that stuff on me it makes you fair game for the rest of it."

Ray stopped with his hands above her head. A large glop dripped onto her hair. "Rest of what?"

Phil motioned with her hand to where Terry, Travis, Ron, and Brian were wrestling in the mud. They were now covered, head to toe, in the brown stuff they had lathered so thickly on Phil. At the questioning glance of Ben and Ray, the group stopped wrestling and watched in return. The smiles plastered on each face were starkly white against the brown of the mud.

"You mean, if I smear this mud on you, I'll end up like that?" Another glop or two of mud splattered onto Phil's head. He nervously swallowed slowly. Did he really want to end up like that? He stared back at the group of mudslingers not liking what he saw. He did not see Phil's surreptitious movements as she scraped liberal quantities of mud from her body.

"I don't think I want to get involved..." Ray started as he turned his attention back to Phil. He was met with a handful of the mud as Phil smeared it down his cheeks and across his forehead.

"Too late, Ray." Phil chuckled at the startled look in Ray's eyes and his futile attempt to retreat from the muddy swarm that flowed toward him.

"I'll get you for this, Phil!" he called as he was pulled down into the muddy waters of the creek.

Phil turned to stare at Ben and the handful of mud he still carried. "Well?"

Ben cleared his throat then glanced to where Ray was rolling in the mud with Brian. He caught a glimpse of Terry as he wrestled with...was that Josie? And Travis and Carol? Ben turned and watched as most of the group from the dories stripped and waded out into the mud. The only person still not involved was Mara.

Mara motioned wildly with her arms. "Hurry, Benton. We can get away from this mess and let the children play with their mud pies." She swayed her hips suggestively.

Ben's eyes grew wide and he stumbled back into Phil. Grabbing hold of him to keep from falling, Phil smeared liberal quantities of mud on Ben wherever her body touched his.

"Sorry, Ben." But she grinned wickedly at him anyway and stepped back.

Ben stared at Mara on the shore beckoning him and Phil in the mud grinning at him. He stared at the mud in his hands. He closed his eyes and chose. In a single fluid motion, he spun about and dropped his cargo onto Phil's head. He stooped and grabbed another handful and rising, spread it across Phil's face.

Sputtering, Phil wiped the mud from her face. The wicked smile was wiped from her face but it settled into her eyes. She put a hand out and placed it flat on Ben's chest. He never saw the leg that snaked around his. He only felt the gentle shove that sent him sprawling backward into the mud of Kanab Creek. The next thing he knew, globs of mud from Phil's hands were raining down on him. He watched her scoop another handful and turn to him. He was ready. He grabbed her about the waist and rolled her into the mud. Their eyes joined and time seemed to halt.

Phil stared up into Ben's glacier blue eyes, tingling at the electricity of his touch. A delightful shiver of wanting ran through her. He was even more stunningly virile than she'd remembered. An undeniable magnetism built between them.

Ben was conscious of where his warm flesh touched her. His hands explored the hollows of her back and he relished the occasional jolt of his thigh brushing her hip. For a long moment he stared down at her a question burning in his eyes. When she didn't push him away, he lowered his face to hers. Before their lips could touch a mud missile hit him from behind. He glanced sideways in surprise searching for the laughter.

As if the action of the mudball had released her, Phil scooted away from Ben's embrace. What was she thinking? Almost allowing him to kiss her? In public? Had she no thought for how that would look? She was almost engaged to Martin. Her face was flushed with embarrassment and anger at herself.

Ray scooped another handful and shaped it into a ball. Casting a regretful look back at Phil, Ben's shoulders heaved in a slight shrug then he grinned as he surreptitiously scooped a handfull of mud from the streambed. Poetry in motion, he pivoted and flung the mudball at his friend. Phil scooted further out of firing range and watched as Ben and Ray bombarded each other with mudball after mudball.

A loud shriek pierced the general free-for-all and all eyes searched for the source. More than one of the mudslingers cheered as Bruce and Steve swooped down on Mara and bodily carried her to the stream. Hurling invectives at the two men, Mara was summarily deposited into the general melee. Phil chucked when she noticed both Ray and Ben join the others in initiating Mara with mud. Finally, everyone stepped back revealing a figure that little resembled the sultry vixen that had made a general nuisance of herself the whole trip. Mara stood straight as a ramrod, her fists clenched at her side. Phil couldn't tell if she was rigid with anger or on the verge of tears.

Deciding to give the girl a break, Phil climbed to her feet and, approaching Mara, grasped her hand and led her down the creek to where it flowed into the Colorado. Moving out of the muddy effluent, she sank into the clear water of the river pulling Mara with her. She rinsed as much of the mud as she could from her body, clothes, and hair. Mara did the same. When Phil was satisfied she no longer resembled an initiate at an aboriginal rite of passage; she waded to the dories and waited for Mara to join her.

Sputtering angrily, Mara asked, "Why did they do that? I hate getting dirty and they know that!"

"Not like that, it doesn't!"

"They probably didn't want you to feel left out."

"Left out, my ass!" Mara sneered, "They're just mad 'cause I told them I was interested in men not boys."

"Men?" Phil quirked an eyebrow questioningly. "Men like Ben Fraser?"

Mara stared defiantly at Phil. "Yeah, men like Benton." Phil gazed steadily back. As the silence between them lengthened, Mara was the first to drop her eyes.

"You're barking up the wrong tree, Mara. Ben isn't like that."

"Like what?"

"Ben isn't the kind of man to rob a cradle. To him you're just a child--a spoiled, self-centered child--but a child nevertheless."

"I'm not a child!"

"Then don't act like one." Her tone was coolly disapproving.

"I don't act like a child," Mara huffed as she towered over Phil.

Catching the look in the girl's eyes, Phil rose to her feet. "No, Mara, you're right. You don't act like a child. You act like a bitch in heat." Mara's eyes narrowed as her face twisted in anger. Her hand swung up but Phil caught it before it connected with her face. "Don't try that again, Mara, or..."

Mara's eyes widened as she yanked her hand away from Phil's grasp. Taking a step back, she stared in surprise at the normally placid leader of this group.

Phil blinked several times as she drew in a deep, cleansing breath. "I'm sorry, Mara, that was totally uncalled for. I don't usually lose control like that."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Mara said, softly and mockingly, her hands clenching and unclenching at her side. Phil again traded stares with the girl. Again, it was Mara's eyes that dropped first.

"It doesn't matter what I feel or don't feel for him. You've already formed an opinion and nothing I can say or do will change your mind."

"You're damn right about that!"

Phil shrugged her shoulders expressively. "I'm sorry, Mara."

"For what?"

"The letdown you're setting yourself up for."

"We'll see about that!" Mara spat at Phil then spun on her heels and hurried back in the direction of the creek and the rest of the group.

Phil collapsed back onto the edge of the dory. Burying her face in her hands, she chided herself for loosing control of her actions and, most especially, her tongue. When had her attempt to help the girl devolved into a verbal sparring match? Why had she felt this overriding desire to deflect Mara's attention away from Ben? Whatever the reasons behind her attempt, it had failed miserably.

Mara stood well off to one side. At Phil's approach, she turned her back on her. Phil shrugged dismissively and settled onto the bank of the stream. Her ill humor slowly ebbed away as she shot picture after picture, finally concentrating on Ben and Ray. She watched as they helped each other from the mud and raced each other to the river. As if that was a signal, the remaining members of the group singly or in pairs headed toward the river as well.

Phil followed and snapped pictures of people trying to remove Kanab mud from their bodies and clothing. Not surprisingly, her camera seemed to focus most often on a certain pair of men washing the mud from their bodies. The sight of those two clad only in their ragged shorts sent shafts of heat through her. 'Stop that, Phil!' she scolded herself but she continued to watch until her guilty conscience made itself felt. She turned from them and, closing her eyes, strove to draw forth an image of Martin. Why were the images of Ben so vibrant and Martin's so faded. Gradually, the remaining members joined Ben and Ray and soon everyone was restored to a semblance of order.

Settling back into the dories, Ray called to Phil, "Now, what the hell was that all about?"

Pushing the encounter with Mara to the back of her mind, Phil grinned and answered, "That was your initiation into the elite order of mudslingers, Ray."

"Mudslingers?"

"Yeah, Travis, its such a great honor to stand there and let everyone smear stinky mud all over my body. And, pray tell me, why did you dump that mud down the back of my shorts?"

Ben perked up. "The back of your shorts?"

Phil nodded. "Then he grinned and patted my butt. I could feel the mud squishing in places I'd rather not think about! And then it oozed out and ran down my legs." Phil squirmed as she remembered the feel of the mud on her posterior and legs. Ben stifled a laugh. "Are you laughing at me, Ben?"

"No, of course not, Phil." But when he caught Ray's eyes from the bow he couldn't hold it any longer. He leaned against the gunwale and laughed. For some reason, the image of mud oozing down Phil's butt onto her legs struck him as funny. Or maybe it was the sense of release that he'd experienced as he'd wrestled in the mud with Ray. He'd never done something like that before, always mindful of his grandmother's injunction that 'cleanliness was next to godliness'. Or maybe it was just the experience of being here with Ray and Phil and having the time of his life. Whatever it was, it expressed itself by uncontrollable laughter.

"Travis?" Phil asked as she regarded Ben.

"What, Spuds?"

"I think I need your help."

Ben came up sputtering. Grasping the side of the dory he stared at its occupants, each laughing at his predicament. He turned as he heard the approach of one of the other dories.

"What happened?" Terry called.

"Ben tripped and fell out of the boat!" Phil replied then began laughing again.

"That's not what it looked like to me! Why don't you ride with us, Benton?" Mara extended her hand.

"Chicken!" Ray mouthed at the Mountie and flapped his arms. The others just laughed.

Taking a deep breath, Travis strove for control. Finally he spoke to Ray, "While you're up, Ray, why don't you take over the piloting?" Travis offered him the controls of the dory.

"It's about time!" Ray complained as he took over from Travis.

"I'm sorry if it seemed like I was avoiding your turn, Ray. I just wanted to give you a long stretch of calm water. It's about 4 miles to the next rapid at Matkatamiba."

Ray settled into the cockpit as Phil moved forward to take over Ray's seat beside Jack Sloan. Taking the oars in hand, he steered the small boat down the river.

"Ray, I'm impressed!" Travis joked.

"What?" Ray asked with a decided smirk in his voice. "Did you think I was asleep all those times you showed Fraser how to do this?"

"I didn't think you were interested."

"Well, you thought wrong." Ray grinned to soften the sharp words. Truth be told, he enjoyed steering the dory, but he would never tell Benny that. He was surprised by how responsive the small boat was. It also helped that the river was in a good mood. In what seemed like record time, the flotilla approached Matkatamiba Rapid. A meager 1 in low water, the rapid passed before Ray even realized.

"Congratulations, Ray!" Phil called from the bow.

Ray halfway turned in the cockpit to smile at Phil. "For what?" he asked as he continued to ply the oars.

"For negotiating your first rapid!" Phil blew a kiss to Ray noting the darkening of Ben's visage as she did so.

"My what?"

"That rough water we just went through was Matkatamiba Rapid."

"You're kidding me! That was a rapid?" Ray stared at the rippling water behind them.

"Not all rapids are terrors like Crystal or Hance. Some are real wimps," Travis answered from his place beside Ben in the stern. Ray smiled in accomplishment and angled the dory to the shore in the wake of the other crafts. The small group spent an hour or so climbing in Matkatamiba Canyon--wading its creek and climbing its narrow channel to a serene, restful amphitheater.

"This is spectacular, Phil." Ben beamed with pleasure as he lounged beside Phil. "The climb up the 'slickrock' little prepares you for this site."

"I think that is one of the things I love about the Canyon. There are so many gems, like Matkatamiba and Thunder River, hidden away from casual view. To really get to know the Canyon and its beauty is a lifetime effort. I've been coming here for over seven years and I am still discovering new things."

"Tell me more." Ben's voice, deep and sensual, sent a wave of awareness through her.

"Yeah, tell me more, Phil." Ray dropped to the ground on the other side of Phil and stretched out his lean frame. Covering his eyes with an arm, he waved his hand in the air. "I just know you've got some little anecdote about this area to share with us. Sheesh, Phil, you're almost as bad as Benny and his Inuit stories!"

"Uh...thank you, I think." Phil glanced sideways at Ben and caught his indulgent smile. "Okay...let me see...an amusing anecdote about this area..." A mischievous smile settled onto her face and was reflected in her eyes as she winked at Ben. She turned her attention back to Ray. Waving her arm, she indicated the amphitheater and the further depths of the canyon. "This area is considered sacred by the Havasupai."

That got Ray's attention. "Sacred? As in sacred burial grounds?"

Phil shook her head. "No, Ray. There are no Havasupai burial grounds here in Matkatamiba. But...you know what they say about sacred ground?"

Ray replaced the arm across his eyes. "No. What do they say about sacred ground?"

"They say that it's not wise to trespass on sacred ground."

"And just what the hell does that mean?" Ray once more dropped his arm and stared at Phil. He could see Ben on the other side of Phil, silently chuckling at his expense.

Ben controlled his mirth and answered Ray's question. "It means that strange things happen to those unfortunate souls who happen to trespass on sacred ground. The Inuit believe..."

"I don't wanna hear it, Benny." Ray spoke to Phil as he motioned with his shoulder. "Isn't it bad enough that I have to listen to his Inuit tales without you encouraging him?"

"I'm sorry, Ray. I was just telling you one of the 'amusing anecdotes' of the river like you asked."

Ray waved his hand in the air. "Okay, okay. I give up. Just remind me the next time I ask a stupid question like that."

Phil grinned as she nodded her head. Ben simply grinned. They turned their attention to the others of the group that had made the climb to the amphitheater. The flow of water from Matkatamiba Creek had eroded a narrow chute through the rock. Bruce and Steve as well as Dave McMillian were using their bodies as dams. Mara moved from one to the other sporting a bikini that made Phil blush. It soon became evident that the two students weren't her true interest.

"Benny, that...that child is posing for you," Ray snarled as he leaned closer.

"Posing? In what way, Ray?"

"Ben, even I can see what she's doing," Phil sighed in exasperation. Evidently their little chat had had no effect on Mara's behavior. "I certainly hope she puts something on soon or she'll have a sunburn where it will really hurt!"

"Ouch!" Ray joked.

When Mara started in their direction, Phil calmly suggested that they might be ready to leave. Ben and Ray readily agreed, rising to their feet and giving Phil a hand up. The three of them headed back down not waiting for Mara who called for them to wait while she found her clothes.

"Can we move a little faster, Phil?" Ray asked as they approached the sinuous canyon they'd followed on their way up. Phil nodded her head and entered the narrow cut and began the slither back down to the river. Not far behind them, Mara clambered with the others of the group following behind.

"What was that all about?" Ray asked.

"Oh, nothing, Ray, nothing," Phil answered as she settled into the cockpit and slipped on her borrowed pair of gloves.

Ray watched in horror as Travis stretched out in the bow and covered his face with his hat. "You're not gonna let Phil paddle the boat again, are you?"

From the depths of Travis' hat a chuckle was heard. "I just thought that since you and Ben had a chance to pilot the boat, Spuds should get one, too. Besides, she needs to work out some of the stiffness from yesterday."

"Okay, I can handle this. I survived yesterday. I survived Benny. I can handle this." Under his breath he began his now familiar chant. "I'm picturing myself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. No one knows this secret place. I am in total seclusion from that place called the world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. A gentle breeze rustles through the trees. I can easily make out the face of the person whose head I'm holding under the water." Only this time it was Phil he pictured.

Phil listened half-heartedly to Ray's words, finally centering her attention on him after the head under water litany. Somehow she knew whose head it was and it wasn't Ben's. She'd have to think of something appropriate with which to pay him back.

Ray settled into the stern of the dory beside Ben. "Just so's I know what's going on...when do we hit Upset?"

Ben watched Phil's devil grin spread across her face as she answered Ray, "Oh, in about two miles, Ray."

"Two miles?" He grabbed Ben's arm and shook it. "What is it with the women in your life? Why do they want to kill me?"

"Now, Ray, not all the women in my life have tried to kill you. Cat didn't." Ben gave Ray a knowing look coupled with a sly grin.

Ray blushed and, glaring at the Mountie, replied, "You should know better than that, Benny. You've been on the receiving end of one of her 'sessions'!"

Ben felt the color rising in his cheeks and, clearing his throat, he murmured, "Point taken, Ray, although I wouldn't necessarily say that she was uh...um...trying to kill us..." His voice trailed off.

"Yeah, but what a way to die!" Ray chuckled.

Ben grinned idiotically back at Ray. The grin died as his gaze swept across Phil who was listening intently to their conversation and grinning just as widely.

She nodded her head. "Yeah...Cat worked TJ over, too."

"TJ?" Ray asked.

"My brother."

Striving to divert the questioning in different direction, Ben stated, "As I maintain, Ray, not every woman from my past has tried to kill you or do you bodily harm."

Ray really wanted to know more about Phil's family and how they seemed to be intimately acquainted with Cat. Staring at Phil, he asked of Ben, "Yeah? Name one."

"Inspector Thatcher."

That caught Ray's attention. "The Dragon Lady?"

"The Dragon Lady?" Both Ray and Ben turned startled eyes to Phil as she laughed out loud.

"Yeah, Benny's boss. She's a real hardass."

"Now, Ray..." Ben tried to stop Ray's tirade.

"I tell you, Phil, if looks could kill, both Benny and me'd be dead by now."

"That bad?" She bit her lip to stifle a grin.

"Worse!"

Seeking to change the topic yet again, Ben asked, "Did you know that Phil used to be called the 'Ice Queen'?"

Phil choked on her laughter. "I haven't been called that in years."

"The Ice Queen? Tell me." Ray wondered how anyone could equate Phil with ice. Now, Thatcher was a different story.

"It's a long story, Ray. It takes approximately..."

"...two hours. I've heard that before." The three friends laughed at the reference to Ben's habit of taking two hours to tell a story.

Soon the distant murmur of approaching whitewater reached them and the dories pulled to shore above Upset Rapid. Rated a 3 in high water, Upset's rating soared as the water level dropped to its low water rating of 8.

"You are going to take us through Upset, aren't you?" Ray asked Travis, the plea evident in his voice.

Travis grinned and shook his head. "Nope, Spuds is gonna do the honors."

Phil eased up next to Ray and, batting her eyes, leaned against him. "Ray, I'm hurt. Didn't I prove to you yesterday that I could handle a dory?"

"Oh, I'm confident that you can handle the boat. I'm just not sure whether or not you won't dump us just for spite."

"Who? Me?" Phil put on her best wide-eyed, innocent look.

"You don't fool me in the least, Phil. I'm used to that wide-eyed Mountie look. And I know from experience that it usually means we're in big trouble."

"Now, Ray. We're not in trouble."

"Not yet, we aren't!"

Confronted simultaneously with a giant wave in front and one from the right, Phil was forced to choose. She plowed directly ahead. The right wave lifted and tilted the dory steeply to the left. She slid toward the gunwales, one oar dangling, and her legs in the air. From the stern Ben pulled her back. Without missing a beat, Phil backed them away from the looming canyon wall, screaming "Bail! Bail!" Everyone grabbed a bailing bucket and fought to lighten the swamped dory.

Gathered with the other dories at the base of the rapid, Phil leaned on the oars and grinned at Ray then Ben. "That wasn't so bad now was it, Ray?"

Ray scowled at Phil refusing to answer. Instead he said, "I suppose now that you're gonna say something about trespassing on sacred ground."

"Well..."

"I don't wanna hear it." Ray buried his face in his hands. Honestly, he didn't know if he would survive this trip. Next time it was California, not the middle of nowhere with a group of deranged geologists. He shot a glance through his fingers at Ben and Phil as they chatted on about Ray's unflappable skepticism. Silently he chuckled to himself. Ben and Phil were having a great time at his expense. There was little indication of the wariness that was evident during the early parts of the trip. Maybe there was hope for them after all.

Phil exhaled a long sigh of contentment. This trip was one of the best she'd experienced. Looking at Ben, she knew it was his presence that made it so. What if it was Martin instead of Ben here? Would she feel the same? Somehow she couldn't picture Martin participating in the mud wrestling nor being content to let her wield the controls of the dory. In fact, the more she thought about it, the less she could picture Martin rafting the Canyon with her. Strange how these differences had not mattered before.

The small flotilla pulled ashore below Sinyala Rapid and set up camp. Tomorrow they would continue the 4 miles to Havasu Canyon where most of the day would be spent. Travis, Ray, and Ben gathered some fishing rods and headed down the river to try their hands at catching trout. The men fished for over an hour catching enough to feed the entire group. Satisfied with their catches, Ray volunteered to carry the heavy stringers of fish back to the camp. Waving good-bye, Ben and Travis laid their rods aside and settled onto the bank to enjoy the peace and quiet of the Canyon.

Ben absentmindedly picked up a rock and threw it into the river. He regarded Travis who had lain back on the ground apparently settling in for a nap. "Travis?" Ben asked.

Travis lifted the edge of his hat and gazed up at the Mountie. "Something I can do for you?" He watched Ben glance away. Something was bothering him and Travis had a good idea what it was. "What do you want to know, Ben?"

Ben shifted his eyes away from Travis and stared across the river. He tossed another rock. How could he ask Travis what he wanted to know? How could he ask the man seated beside him to tell him about the woman they had both loved? Yet...he wanted to know everything he could about what had happened to Phil in the intervening years--even if that included the details of another love. He cleared his throat. "Could you tell me about Phil? I want to know what happened to her in the years since I last saw her."

Travis smiled to himself. That Ben wanted to know more about Phil was a good sign. Last night, Carol had revealed the true extent of Ben and Phil's relationship and how Phil still loved Ben--even though she would adamantly refuse to admit it. Now, Ben was asking questions about Phil's past. Travis knew exactly what Ben was wanting--information on the short relationship he'd had with Phil. "What exactly do you want to know, Ben?"

Ben inhaled slowly, held it for a moment, and then let the air whoosh slowly from his lungs. This was harder than he'd expected. Drawing back into himself, he pondered the question. What exactly did he want to know about Phil? Everything, but he doubted that Travis would oblige him with all the details of their relationship. Settling for the answer to a question that had plagued him since the beginning of this trip, he asked, "Why do you call Phil, Spuds?"

Travis laughed. "That's an easy question to answer, Ben. You just have to be careful that Spuds doesn't hear you tell that story," he said, clearly surprised by the question.

"Well...Phil isn't here and you did promise to tell me when she wasn't around."

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"Well, in that case..." Travis launched into the story of how Phil McKenzie became Spuds McKenzie.

* * *

May 1993

Travis stood and stretched. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he grinned at TJ. "We always have a trial run before the regular season starts. Frankly, TJ, I had my doubts about us being able to even have a season this year."

"Why?" TJ scratched idly at an itch.

Travis anchored the dory to a large rock, then rose slowly to his feet. "One of our regular pilots was involved in a car accident and he won't be able to do anything for several months, much less pilot a dory."

TJ pulled his cap from his head and, rolling it into a cylinder, stuffed it in his back pocket. "Don't you have back up pilots?"

"We lost one of our back up pilots to a rival enterprise." Travis grinned and winked his eye. "She married into the business."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Then we had another pilot decide to finish his degree this summer rather than next fall. I tell you, TJ, if Phil hadn't expressed an interest in becoming a pilot, this trip would have been much later in the season."

"So...that still doesn't explain why such a small group."

Travis motioned to the group now setting up camp. "Terry and I like to traverse the Canyon at the beginning of the season to see what's happened over the winter. Any and all of our pilots are invited to come along. Terry and Josie, Hank, Brian, Lydia, and Curt are all regular pilots. When Phil joined us, we decided that this trip would be a good opportunity for her to learn the ins and outs of the river. She asked if she could invite a couple of friends along and we said okay--so she invited you and Carol to fill out the dories." He cast a glance to where Phil and Carol were helping unload the other dory. "I'm glad she did." Travis cocked his head and grinned at the tall, dark haired man beside him. "Why? Are you having second thoughts?"

"Nope. I just didn't think it was economical with such a small group and no paying passengers."

Travis shrugged matter-of-factly. "Money has nothing to do with it, TJ. This trip is for us. It's one of the perks of river running. We do this even when we don't have any passengers."

"Well, I can certainly understand why. Although, if Flip goes off on one of her geology tangents once more I'll probably push her out of the boat."

Travis shared a laugh with TJ. "Phil tells me that you work for the Field Museum in Chicago. She said you were interested in Native American cultures."

"That's true and that's partly why I decided to accept her invitation. Aside from the fact that I've always wanted to raft the Canyon, I wanted the chance to visit some of the ruins within the Canyon."

"So that's why you were so...so..."

"Obsessed?" TJ grinned unabashedly.

"Well, I would have said interested." Travis grinned back. "Anyway, that explains why you were so interested in Nankoweap at the beginning and all the rock paintings we've passed."

TJ nodded his head. "Nankoweap is just one of the fascinating remains of the Anasazi in the Canyon. Plus there are literally thousands of petroglyphs and pictographs throughout the canyon."

Travis snorted. "I could tell. You're about as animated talking about that rock art as Phil is when she starts in on her rocks."

A wry smile played across TJ's face. "That bad?"

Travis grinned widely and nodded his head.

* * *

"Nice, Phil. Very nice." Carol's eyes swept over the two men--TJ, tall, dark, and dangerously handsome, and Travis, tall, lighter-headed, and equally handsome.

"Is that all you can say?" Phil stood with hands on hips, shaking her head. "I will admit that I'm prejudiced where TJ's concerned, but I happen to think he's one handsome devil."

"And Travis isn't bad either," Carol commented.

Phil's eyes strayed to the two men. "Well, you have me there, Carol. Travis is also too good looking for words. Maybe I should change my mind and marry him."

Carol turned a startled eye to her friend. "Marry?"

"Yeah. Travis asked me to marry him a couple of years ago. I turned him down, but now..." Phil bowed her head before raising it to Carol. "I don't know, Carol. I really like Travis but..."

"But?"

"Is it enough to base a lifetime commitment on?" Her eyes sought Travis once more.

"Phil?" Carol's voice was full of gentle concern.

"Hmmm?" Phil glanced back at Carol.

"I think you already know the answer to your question, don't you?"

Phil shook her head. "No, Carol, I don't. I'm tired of being lonely. Surely there's someone out there that can make me forget..." Phil stopped. Why did memories of Benton Fraser continue to invade her mind--especially when she was involved with another man?

"Forget who, Phil? The man you really love? The one who broke your fucking engagement?"

A long moment passed before Phil nodded her head. "I just can't seem to get him out of my mind."

Carol studied her friend. "Don't you mean your heart?"

Phil shook her head. "No. I stopped loving him years ago. I just can't seem to find someone to replace him."

"Maybe you're trying too hard."

"Maybe...or maybe I should reevaluate some old decisions--like the one I made with Travis. I can't think of a better way to spend the rest of my life than leading trips through the Grand Canyon." She swept her hands out in a grand gesture.

"Maybe...maybe not. Before you make any kind of decisions that will affect your future, be sure you know what it is you want. Don't settle for second best simply because you're tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along."

"You're right as always." Phil shrugged her shoulders. Maybe Carol was right and she just needed to wait for someone to come along who could erase Ben's images from her mind. Linking arms with Carol, she pulled them in the direction of the lunch preparations. "I just get lonely sometimes."

A tinge of sadness settled into Carol's voice. "I know the feeling, Phil. I get lonely, too."

"You?" Her voice rose in surprise. "I bet half the male population of Sydney camps on your doorstep." Phil frankly assessed her friend. Tall and willowy, Carol had a wealth of dark hair that framed an oval face with eyes closer to black than brown. There was both delicacy and strength in that face.

Carol shook her head, an escaped curl falling over her forehead. "Nope. Oh, I've dated several men--even contemplated marriage, but the right bastard just hasn't come around yet. Besides which...a doctor has fucking little time to herself!"

"In that case, let me tell you about this really great guy I know. He's single, devastatingly handsome, and has a really great brother and sister."

Carol stared down her nose at her friend. "Phil, are you trying to set me up with your brother?"

Phil coyly batted her eyelashes. "TJ? Now whatever gave you that idea?"

"Well, to begin with I've noticed that he and I are the only non-pilot type people here. I've also noticed how you keep pairing us up--in the dory, doing chores, sitting around the campfire..."

Phil covered her mouth with the fingers of her right hand. "Am I that obvious?"

"Well, yes you are."

Chuckling openly, Phil admitted, "TJ's a great guy and you two would make a great couple."

"You're an arsehole, Phil."

"A sister can hope, can't she?"

Carol laughed then turned her attention back to the two men under discussion. "Maybe I should uh...get better acquainted?" Mischief played in her eyes as she wandered over to the dory and the two men. The two men watched her approach with appreciation evident on their faces. "TJ, could I get you to help me with my tent?"

TJ grinned and dropped the oar he was holding. "Sorry, Travis, nothing against you personally, but I think I'd rather help Carol than you."

Travis returned the grin then shook his head. "I don't blame you, TJ. I'd rather help Carol than me any old day."

Resting a hand on the creamy expanse of her throat, Carol murmured, "Gentlemen...you flatter me."

"You bet we do!" The smile in Travis' eyes contained a sensuous flame.

Phil watched TJ help Carol set up her tent. It looked like they were enjoying each other's company. She smiled. Maybe Carol was the one who would finally help TJ recover from the loss of his fiancée, Noelle.

Phil chuckled then graced Travis with one of her crooked smiles. Motioning with her head, she said, "I've got my fingers crossed..." She held up both hands with fingers dutifully crossed.

Travis' eyebrows rose. "TJ and Carol?"

"Yeah. TJ's too great a guy to be alone. I keep hoping he'll meet the right girl."

"And you supply him with appropriate choices?"

Phil grinned at Travis. "Isn't that what sisters are for?"

Travis snorted. "I don't think sisters have a monopoly on that!"

"Has Terry been playing matchmaker for you?" She glanced over to where Travis' brother was helping his wife set up the cooking stove.

Travis stared at his family as well. "Terry and Josie. They think I should settle down."

"Well, shouldn't you?" Phil glanced sideways at him.

Travis turned serious eyes on her. "The one woman I asked turned me down."

Phil vividly remembered Travis' proposal and how much she longed to comply, but the memories of love with a certain Mountie intruded and she found herself thinking more of Ben than Travis. Even when she consciously blocked him from her thoughts, his memories crept insidiously back in. How could she commit herself to Travis knowing that it was really Ben she wanted? It had been almost two years since she regretfully declined his proposal. Two years of being alone with her memories of Ben Fraser. Two years of haphazard dating--trying to find someone, anyone, who could finally blot Ben's memories from her mind and body. No one had come remotely close--except Travis. Maybe she was being too picky. Maybe she needed to give Travis another chance. Maybe if she tried harder.

Phil placed a hand on Travis' arm. "I'm sorry, Travis. I made a mistake. Maybe..."

Travis clapped his hand over Phil's. "No, you were right, Phil. I thought I would be heart-broken over you, but I'm not. You were right when you said we weren't meant for each other." He grinned then lifted Phil's hand and planted a kiss on the back of it. "We could've had some great times, though."

Almost in a panic, Phil responded, "We still could, Travis."

Travis stared into Phil's eyes seeing the panic there. "What are you saying, Phil?" He gently cradled her hand.

"I...I..." Phil pulled her hand from his and ran it through her hair. "I don't know, Travis. I guess I was hoping that you...that we..."

"...could start over? Pick up where we left off?" he asked in a low, composed voice.

Phil bowed her head and pursed her lips before nodding.

Travis cupped her face in his hands then lifted it to peer into her eyes. "I'm sorry, Phil. But...is that what you really want? What about that guy from your past? The one that hurt you?"

Phil jerked away from Travis' hand and gasped, "How did...who...TJ?"

Travis nodded. "We've talked a bit about you."

"He's gone, Travis, and he's never coming back. Why can't I find someone to replace him?"

A half-smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Probably 'cause you still love him."

"Love him?" Phil asked angrily. "I hate him, Travis. I hate him for what he did to me. I hate him for leaving me when I needed him. I hate him because his memories won't leave me alone. I...hate...him." Phil dissolved in tears.

Travis quickly scooped her into his arms and let her cry herself out. Smoothing her hair down, he planted a kiss on the top of her head. "It's all right, Phil."

"No, it isn't, Travis. If it was all right, I'd be happily married by now--not alone and lonely."

"You're not alone, Phil. You have your friends and family. And, if I'm not mistaken, your family is about to prove that!"

Phil shifted in Travis' hold and watched TJ stalk toward them, thunder in his expression. She sniffed then chuckled. "I see what you mean. TJ the Inquisitor approaches."

"Should I be afraid?" Travis joked back.

"Only for your hide!" Phil chuckled again then reluctantly slid from Travis' embrace. Hands trailing down each other's arms, they eventually stood at arm's length. "So, I guess this means there can be nothing between us?"

"We'll always be friends, Phil. But more than that?" He paused. "I think you already know the answer to that."

Phil nodded then turned to TJ as he joined them. "Hi, TJ, are you and Carol ready to hike up to Mooney Falls?" She smiled brightly at her brother but he could still see the evidence of her distress.

He reached for her all the while casting wary glances at Travis. "Are you all right, Flip?"

"I'm fine, TJ, as always." She glanced at Travis before patting TJ on the chest and stepping back from him. "Travis and I were just rehashing some old memories."

* * *

The campfire cast a rosy glow on the people gathered around its warmth. Terry strummed his guitar and serenaded the group with his less-than-melodious voice. No one objected. By now those that had not retreated to their bedrolls were well past the discerning or caring stage.

Travis had opened his stash of beer.

TJ's hand gently landed on Phil's arm as she reached for another beer. "Don't you think you've had enough, Flip?"

Phil closed her eyes then hissed through clenched teeth, "Chill out, TJ. I'm not a little kid anymore."

"Then don't act like one." He paused, waiting for her attention, before continuing, "This isn't like you, Flip. Is something bothering you?"

Seeing the concern in his eyes, Phil bit back a sharp retort. She glanced away before centering her attention on her brother once more. Sighing deeply, she said, "Nothing that hasn't bothered me--or for that matter, you--before." She popped the tab on the can of Budweiser then toasted her brother. "To old hurts, new hurts, and the long lonely years in between."

Understanding at last, TJ raised his own can. "To Noelle."

Phil touched her can to his. "To Ben." They both took a deep swig from their cans then settled back against the log that acted as a backrest.

"We're a pair, aren't we?" TJ asked long minutes later.

Phil nodded her head, her hand creeping out to grasp TJ's. They sat in a companionable silence watching the others in the group. TJ no longer tried to stop Phil's continued drinking. He stopped counting after three. Maybe, for just this one evening, Phil deserved the oblivion of too

much drink. Sometimes the benefits outweighed the penalties. He glanced sideways at Phil and chuckled sympathetically.

"What's so funny?" Phil asked.

"You're going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow, Flip." TJ took another swig from his can.

"Probably. But right now I don't care." She giggled then smothered it with her hand.

"Now you tell me what's so funny?"

Phil shrugged. "Nothing. I just felt like laughing." She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blue chambray shirt. "Looks like it's gonna be a warm night tonight."

Phil watched Terry and Josie from across the fire and sighed. Even after three years of marriage, they still acted like newlyweds. There was no doubt in her mind about what would take place in their dory tonight. A stab of jealousy shot through her followed by a wave of loneliness. Reaching for another beer, she tried to drown those thoughts and the memories that caused them--memories of passionate lovemaking with Ben. But, Ben wasn't here and he never would be. Why couldn't she leave him behind and go on with her life? Why couldn't Travis be the one?

She shifted her gaze from Terry and Josie to Travis and Carol. Why did the sight of the two of them laughing and talking together upset her so much? She drained the can of beer and reached for another.

"Flip?"

"I'm all right, TJ. Really I am! Just a little warm." She undid the remaining buttons and removed the shirt. The firelight flickered on the pink T-shirt beneath.

"Next time don't wear so many layers!" TJ folded the shirt Phil had carelessly discarded. He watched Phil become more inebriated with each passing swallow. At least she was a 'happy' drunk. Too bad tomorrow would be so hard on her. But, then again, maybe she would learn a valuable lesson. Phil had never been much for drinking, preferring a soft drink or fruit juice to alcohol. Tonight, though, she had tossed back enough beer to make her teetotaler's head swim. Her hangover would be a beaut.

Terry and Josie stood. "We're calling it a night. See you all tomorrow." Terry casually draped his arm over Josie's shoulders and the progress of her arm about his waist showed beneath his shirt.

Bidding goodnight to the departing Hunter's, TJ watched Travis and Carol rise from the other side of the fire and join them against the log. His eyes swept up and down Carol's body, her shorts and shirt hinting at the curves beneath. Maybe he should make the effort to get to know her better. Maybe friendship could blossom into something more--like it had for Phil and Ben--like it had for Noelle and him.

"What are you two being so gloomy about?" Travis asked as he dropped down beside TJ. Carol settled beside Phil.

"Gloomy? Who's being gloomy?" Phil giggled then leaned over and whispered in TJ's ear, "Are you gloomy?" Influenced by the alcohol, she overbalanced and sprawled across TJ's lap.

"Flip!" TJ exclaimed in horror as Phil's face landed in his crotch. He felt the giggles shake her body as she tried to right herself, her hands settling onto various parts of his anatomy, some more private than others. Finally, she stopped and rolled over to stare up at the sky. She laughed uncontrollably.

"Flip, you're drunk!"

"Am not. I'm in complete control of my actions at all times I am. I'm in control..I am..." Phil's brows drew together. "What...what am I?"

"You're drunk!" TJ slid his hands beneath Phil's shoulders and, aided by Carol, hauled her back to a sitting position.

"Gee, thanks, Carol, TJ. You know what?" Phil swayed toward TJ.

He caught her before she could end up face down in his lap once more. "No, what, Flip?"

"I feel all warm and fuzzy and...and...I don't know..."

Carol laughed as they sat her back against the log. "Phil, you are really pissed! You're going to be sorry tomorrow."

"You're such a spoil sport, Carol. Where's your sense of adventure? Why don't you sing us a song?" Phil waved her finger in Carol's face. "I'll help you." She began singing,

Phil stopped singing. "You're not singing, Carol."

"Phil, you don't want to sing that song."

"Why not? You taught it to me."

"Yeah, but you weren't supposed to repeat it!"

"Why not?" Travis and TJ asked.

"Yeah, why not?" Phil giggled and dropped an arm around Carol's shoulders. "Sing it with me."

Carol looked at Phil's flushed face and at the grinning faces of TJ and Travis. "What the hell! All right, Phil, let's sing it." Carol had had her share of beer, too. Together, they began singing,

Phil never had a chance to finish the verse. TJ clamped his hand over her mouth. Carol, however, did. Travis rolled on the ground, clutching his sides as Carol continued singing several more verses of the dirty ditty. Phil struggled with TJ's hand, finally getting him to remove it when she indicated she couldn't breath.

"Flip, I'm surprised at you!" he scolded.

"Oh, chill out, TJ. You're such a potty pooter." Phil brushed at some imaginary dirt on her arm.

"Potty pooter?" Travis laughed again.

TJ glared at Travis. "You're not helping, Travis!" He spoke to Phil, "You're the one who should chill out, Flip. Don't do something that you'll regret tomorrow."

"Me? Chill out?" Phil paused and thought that over.

TJ watched the wheels click somewhat erratically behind her bemused brown eyes. He saw the light go on in her brain.

"You're aboslutely right, TJ. I need to cool off." She struggled to her feet and weaved in the direction of her dory.

"Thank goodness!" TJ exclaimed as he watched Phil stumble then right herself. He shook his head then turned back to Travis. "I have never seen her drunk before! I was afraid I was going to have to put her to bed before she did something stupid."

"I think you're a little late, TJ." Travis smirked then pointed behind TJ.

TJ glanced over his shoulder to see Phil shedding her jeans then her panties. She then headed toward the river.

"What a marvelous idea!" Carol volunteered then stood and began stripping.

TJ jumped to his feet torn between his desire to watch Carol strip and his need to stop Phil before she finished. "Damn!" He raced to where Phil struggled with her T-shirt. "Flip!" he called as he approached his sister.

Phil spun about and spied her brother barreling down on her. She threw her T-shirt in his face and laughingly eluded his attempts to catch her.

"Philippe Henry Sheridan McKenzie! When I catch you, you're in deep shit!"

"You gotta catch me first, TJ!" She sprinted for the river with TJ in close pursuit.

He almost had her when he was pushed from behind. Splashing face down in the water, he rolled to see Carol, as naked as Phil, shout, "Tag, you're it!" then splash away from him.

Travis gave him a hand up and the two men stared at the sight of two naked women cavorting in the moonlit waters of the Colorado.

TJ groaned and ran a hand over his face, embarrassed for his sister. "What do you suggest?" he asked Travis.

"I'll tackle Phil if you can catch Carol."

TJ started to agree then suddenly pictured Phil's mortification when she sobered up. As much as he would love to capture the lovely Carol, he knew he needed to save Phil from further embarrassment. "No, you catch Carol and I'll handle Phil."

Although normally agile, Phil's reflexes were slowed by the alcohol. TJ tackled her and held on as she sputtered from her dunking. She hiccuped and clung to him as they regained their footing. "TJ, I don't...I don't..." Phil began then rolled her eyes and passed out. Her limp weight sent them both back into the water.

"Flip, what am I going to do with you?" TJ smoothed the wet hair from her face. He shifted her weight to one arm and removed his shirt with the other. Wrapping it around her, he gathered her in his arms and carried her to her dory, rolling her in her bedroll. He gathered her wayward clothes and tossed them in the boat with her. He turned back to the river and witnessed Carol and Travis locked in a passionate kiss, Travis' shirt covering her nakedness. A deep sigh escaped from him.

* * *

"So that's how you caught Carol?"

Travis grinned. "I was attracted to her from the beginning. But, watching her, then holding her in my arms, I discovered that I didn't want anyone else to ever see her like that again. I thought it was just my normal male urges but when she went over the side in Lava Falls, something clicked. I didn't know what it was until she went back to Australia. I felt like a part of me was missing."

"So what did you do?" Ben was very familiar with that same feeling.

"At the end of the summer season, I flew over to Sydney and proposed. We were married at sunset at Angel's Window on the North Rim." Lost in memories, Travis paused. Guiltily, he smiled at Ben. "After the ceremony, we rafted the Canyon on our honeymoon."

Ben's spirits plummeted. He and Phil had discussed similar plans for their honeymoon.

Travis noticed Ben's sudden melancholy. Not for the first time he wondered why Ben and Phil couldn't mend their broken relationship. They seemed perfect for each other. And, if he was the one from Phil's past...he could understand why she had refused his own proposal. It was all too evident to anyone with eyes that Phil still cared for Ben. But what did Ben feel?

Ben carefully shuttered his feelings away behind his veneer of politeness. "So, how did Phil become Spuds?"

Shaking his head slightly, Travis laughed and replied, "When she finally roused the next morning, she was sicker than a dog. She barely remembered anything about her little moonlight swim. Carol wasn't much better. Anyway, Phil vowed never to drink again and begged someone to put her out of her misery."

Ben chuckled then motioned for Travis to continue.

Travis joined Ben's laughter. "I tell you, Ben, after we told the others about Carol's and Phil's nocturnal activities, I thought she was going to slit our throats. She swore up and down that she would never do something like that. TJ and I just smiled back at her. To this day, I don't think she really remembers all that happened."

"The name?" Ben gently reminded.

"Oh, yeah, Carol gave her that name. You see...Phil was too sick to pilot through Lava Falls, so I took over for her. She lay in the stern and puked over the side every once in awhile. She was really sick!"

"Motion sickness?"

"Yeah, the motion of the river plus the hangover really got to her. Carol was a real lifesaver. She had some nausea medicine and that helped a little bit. But when we hit Lava Falls, Phil was too sick to hike around so we bundled her up good in her lifejacket and Carol and Terry held onto her as we went through."

"I take it they didn't make it?"

"Nope. Somehow Terry and Carol lost their hold on Phil and she went sailing over the side. All I saw was her legs and Carol flying through the air. From what Carol's told me, Phil grabbed her as she went over."

Ben smiled. "So Phil really has never made it through Lava Falls?"

"Not in a boat, she hasn't." Travis' smile deepened into laughter. "That girl has an intimate acquaintance with every rock, hole, slot, shelf, roostertail, standing wave...you name it, Spuds has been through it."

"So...the name?"

"Sorry, Ben. I keep forgetting." He grinned again. "We finally got Carol and Phil to shore. The cold water snapped Phil out of her hangover and after shucking her lifejacket, she shook herself like a dog. Then Carol piped up with the fact that she smelled like a dog, too. Said she reminded her of those old Budweiser beer commercials that had the dog for a mascot."

Recognition glimmered in Ben's eyes. "I seem to recall seeing something like that."

"Anyway, Carol said something about how Spuds McKenzie--that was the dog's name--was too smart to end up like Phil."

"Spuds McKenzie?" Ben's smile slowly stretched ear to ear.

"Yeah." Travis grinned back. "So we sort of adopted that name for Phil. You know, sort of a reminder that she's human, too."

Ben nodded his head. "No wonder she doesn't want anyone to know how she got that name."

"Yeah, and you better not tell her I told you. I do value my hide!"

"My lips are sealed." Ben drew his fingers across his mouth in a zipping motion then he reversed his motions. "I'll have to tell Ray, though."

"Just so's Spuds doesn't know."

"I promise not to reveal my source of information."

* * *

Carol and Josie made swift work of the trout Ben, Ray, and Travis had caught. Dinner that night consisted of pan-fried trout, onion rings, green beans, and a fresh green salad with sliced tomatoes. Josie worked her magic with the dutch ovens and produced a lemon mousse for dessert.

After dinner, Phil took Dave McMillian aside. "Look, Dave, I need to talk to you about something that happened this afternoon."

Dave studied the way Phil shifted from foot to foot. Nodding his head, he asked, "Does this have something to do with the snit Mara has been in most of the day?" Guiltily, Phil nodded her head. "What did you say to her? She's been stewing all day and making remarks that border on insolent."

"I'm really sorry, Dave, but I tried to diffuse the situation that seems to be building between Mara and another member of this excursion."

"Ben?" Phil's knee-jerk reaction was all Dave needed to know. "I reckon I should be the one apologizing for Mara's behavior, Phil. I had no idea she would act like this. Back at the university, she's one of the most levelheaded students I know. If I'd known she was like this in real life I would have had second thoughts about including her in this study."

"Don't think that, Dave. I'm sure she's quite capable of handling the research. It's just too bad that she hasn't been able to adjust to living in such close proximity of someone with Ben's looks." Dave cocked an eyebrow and Phil felt the need to explain. "Ben and I have know each other for a long time. Everywhere he goes, it's like this. In a way I can understand the women but I also know that Ben doesn't encourage any of the attention he gets. In fact, he's quite embarrassed by it all."

Dave nodded his head in understanding. "I'll have a talk with Mara for what it's worth, Phil."

"Thanks, Dave, and again I'm really sorry about this."

"Don't be, Phil, there's always one bad apple in the bunch. I'm just sorry that it had to one of my students."

Later, Ben and Ray sat on the opposite side of the fire from Phil. The guitar appeared and Dave surprised the group by demonstrating a familiarity with the instrument. Instead of passing the guitar, Dave took requests and the evening evolved into a series of sing-a-longs.

Mara half-heartedly participated in the singing. She cast glances between Fraser and Phil wondering not for the first time if she was out of line here. 'No,' she told herself. If she admitted that then her ex-boyfriend, no make that ex-creep, would be right. She had already wasted too much time on that slimebag. Glancing again at the Mountie, she wondered what it would be like to be treated with respect, to feel safe and loved. That ex-creep had only treated her like an object that he owned. At first his possessiveness had made her feel loved but soon the possessiveness turned to abuse. After a particularly vicious beating she'd finally wised up and left the bastard. Now she simply wanted a relationship that was as far from her former one as a person could get. The Mountie was just the right kind of man for her--the kind of man to give her what she wanted. Why couldn't he see that? She knew what she wanted, now she had to make him understand that she could give him so much more than that dried up prune of a woman, Phil McKenzie.

Phil watched Ben and Ray across the fire. Evidently Ben was telling Ray one of his infamous Inuit stories. However, he seemed to be enjoying this one. That in itself was strange since Ray had vehemently stated his dislike of Ben's stories. If it wasn't an Inuit tale then what was Ben telling Ray? She caught several glances from the men then, after a startled look of disbelief, Ray's eyes jumped to hers. Phil sent a questioning look at Ray but he buried his face in his hands and laughed, his shoulders shaking.

What was going on over there? Somehow Phil didn't think Ben nor Ray would tell her. Somehow she didn't think she really wanted to know.

Soon the group broke up and each made their respective ways to their own beds. "Goodnight, Spuds," Ray called to Phil.

Spinning around, she caught Ray's coy smile. Ben stared at some point above and beyond her head. She wasn't sure if the rosy hue that spread up his neck into his face was caused by embarrassment or by the flickering light of the fire.

"Spuds?" Phil asked of Ray.

"Yeah...Spuds." Ray wiggled his eyebrows.

Phil buried her face in her hands. Peering at the two men over her fingers, she closed the distance between them. "What do you mean by 'Spuds'?"

Ray chuckled then said, "Benny told me how you got your name."

Ben could easily visualize Phil in his mind. Although, he had never watched her cavort naked in the moonlight, he could well imagine her doing it. So well in fact that his desire for her flared. He centered his eyes on the shadowy outline of the distant canyon wall and sought to regain control of his errant thoughts. If he didn't look at Phil maybe he could succeed.

Phil stared at Ben. He refused to meet her eyes. "And just where did you learn that?"

Ben cleared his throat then shrugged. "A reliable source, which shall remain confidential, told me."

"Travis," Phil muttered under her breath.

"I neither confirm nor deny that allegation, although Carol, Terry, and Josie, as well as Brian, all have knowledge of that particular episode."

"Are you saying that they all told you?"

"No. I'm only saying that you shouldn't jump to conclusions without ascertaining all the facts."

"And what would those facts be, Mr. Mountie?" Phil jabbed a finger into Ben's chest.

Startled, Ben dropped his eyes to meet hers. "Um...that perhaps uh...perhaps you should um... avoid alcoholic beverages?"

Ben's face was hidden in shadow so Phil was unable to read his eyes. Still, his strangled explanations didn't quite ring true. What was going on in his mind? She stepped back a pace or two and clasped her hands behind her back. Rocking on her heels, she softly asked, "Wherever you heard that story, would you please not repeat it? It's not something I'm proud of."

Ben nodded his head, and then Ray did, too. "For you, Phil. I'll keep quiet."

"Thanks, Ray." She stepped up to him and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. She heard Ben's sharply indrawn breath and darted a glance at him. He had turned and the dying firelight flickered across his face. Naked desire burned in his eyes.

An eternity passed in the moment their eyes were locked. Phil broke eye contact first. "Goodnight, Ray, Ben. I'll see you in the morning." Phil turned and it took all her willpower to walk away.

* * *

* * *

To be continued (?)

***Excerpted from 'First Through the Grand Canyon' by Major John Wesley Powell

Copyright March 1998 by Cassandra Hope

1. On a Collision Course--Redux
2. Second Chances
3. A Cop, a Mountie, and a Dory
4. Canyon Interlude by Carol Trendall
5. Rhyme of a Not-so-Ancient Mariner
6. Down the Valley of the Shadow
7. The Heart Remembers
8. You Call This Lucky?
9. Ghost of a Chance
10. The Soul of a Friend
11. "Spuds" McKenzie