This is the alternate ending for Surrender, you'll have to read the original story to understand this. I couldn't make up my mind on which ending I like better, so I posted the original one and now this. Thanks to Sama and Megan for betaing this part. I think there were only the 2 of' em, but I'm really sorry if I missed out anyone. Anyway, here it is. Replacing the part about the news.

Warning: This is a death story!! Major angst factor! It also contains slash elements, so, shoo if you don't like it or if you're underage. For those who want to read it, I've been advised to give a Kleenex warning and to have Mr. Teddy nearby in case you need a hug. *g*

Note: To feel the full effect, pop in Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

Surrender: Alternate Ending
By Eugenie Chua

Tears began to stream down his face uncontrollably as he closed the book and sank to the floor, the exact same spot where Ray had died, in his arms.

"I love you too Ray. I love you too..." he cried as he clutched the journal against his heart. But it was too late, Ray would never know...

And the singer on the radio sang on: "Through this bitter, bitter cold I'd always thought that I have you to hold me, hold me through the storm and keep me warm through this bitter, bitter cold..."

He placed the CD in the player and hit the play button. The first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled the empty apartment that had once belonged to the man he loved, and lost...

This was the music Ray was listening to before he took his life, the sight outside the window was what Ray was seeing before he died. Storm: rain, thunder, lightning and wind. The apartment was dark, just like that night over a year ago. Fraser sat down in a chair that was facing the window, placed exactly as it was on that night, and opened the thick note book he held in his hands. Ray's journal.

He read the words again, words that he had committed to memory, words that reflected the pain that Ray had suffered because of him and the words that he wrote a year ago today.

Everything was all his fault. If he hadn't rejected Ray out of fear, his fear of abandonment, none of these would have happened. Such irony. He was afraid that if he committed himself into a relationship with Ray, the detective might have left him, and he knew he wouldn't have survived that. But Ray left anyway, for the opposite reason.

Fraser closed his eyes and the image from that night came back to him with such crystal clarity it was as though he was there again. Finding Ray, trying to save him, holding him in his arms, Ray opening his eyes and looked at him for the last time, telling him everything he felt through those eyes that closed for the last time, Ray's body going limp in his arms as he cried out in denial. Ray couldn't possibly be dead, that just wasn't possible. Fraser hadn't told him how he felt yet, how could he be dead when Fraser hadn't even told him that he loved him? How?! It just wasn't possible.

Now he knew better. Ray was gone, and he wasn't coming back all because of him. All because he was afraid to lose the man he loved. Irony at its best.

"You don't have to do this, son," said Robert Fraser as he appeared.

"I have to dad, you know it."

"There's no way to talk you out of this." It was more of a statement of fact rather than a question. The senior Fraser had tried to comfort his son and offer support over the past year, but nothing he or Fraser's friends did seemed to be helping. Fraser just sank deeper into himself, closing up to everyone, plunging into despair, towards the point of no return.

The ghost let out a sigh and disappeared, no one save Ray Kowalski could talk Fraser out of what he was about to do, and Kowalski wasn't there.

Fraser read the last words that Ray wrote: "I love you Fraser." and a smile formed on his face. A smile that hasn't shown itself for over a year, a smile that was missed by so many. "I love you too Ray." He whispered as he felt the burning pain on his left wrist.

Everything will be all right, he thought as darkness claimed him and the music faded into the background. Everything will be all right...