Disclaimer: This story is written for the private entertainment of fans. The author makes no claims on the characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story. Fraser, Vecchio, et.al. belong to Alliance; the McKenzies and friends belong to me. Cat Madden belongs to Carol Trendall and is used with permission. No infringement of any copyrights held by CBS, Alliance, CTV, or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is intended. This story is not published for profit, and the author does not give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit.

Tangled Webs

By Cassandra Hope

(Copyright February 1999)

"Whadda you think you're doing?" Ray snapped.

"Collecting me some reading material," Little pulled the airline magazine from the pocket and rolled it into a tube.

Ray rolled his eyes before jerking his hand back to rest on the arm of the seat. Little grinned and began tapping his thigh with the rolled up magazine.

"Keep that thing quiet or you'll be eating it," Ray warned.

The tapping continued. "You seem a little touchy, Detective," Little's voice held a note of challenge.

"You ain't seen touchy...yet."

Little turned his face enough to see into Ray's eyes. What he saw there caused an immediate reaction. The tapping stopped. "I got my rights, ya know." Little's voice was surly.

"Yeah, tell that to someone who cares."

Little opened his mouth to make a sarcastic reply but looking at Ray's countenance, reconsidered and settled back in his seat to watch the plane approach the gate.

Ray glanced over at his prisoner, thankful that the man had finally shut up. He hated traveling with a prisoner--either you had to watch them with an eagle eye or drag them every step of the way. At least Little hadn't been much more than a mouthy irritant.

After deplaning, Ray searched the crowded terminal looking for a familiar face. Smiling, he watched the mass of people part as Detective Jack Huey plowed through them.

"Vecchio," Huey said as his glance raked over Little. "This him?"

"Yeah, Mr. Michael Little, scumbag extraordinare."

"Watch what you call me, cop. I don't have to take that kinda crap from you. I got my rights."

"Yeah, yeah, we all got rights. And right now, my rights say I don't have to listen to your bitching. So can it before I can it for you."

"You heard him. You heard him threaten me." Little appealed to Huey.

"Yeah, so can it," Huey answered. His gaze shifted to Ray. "So this is 'Little Mike'?"

Ray snorted then nodded his head. "Hard to believe this little weasel could mastermind a checkbook let alone a gun-smuggling operation."

Miffed, Little volunteered, "I'll have you know I'm good at what I do."

"Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law," Ray snidely reminded Little. The man bit back his next remarks and stared sullenly at the two detectives.

"What, you got nothing else to say?" Ray prompted. When Little remained silent, Ray smirked. "That's what I thought. If you ain't bitching about something you ain't got nothing to say so just keep your trap shut and I'll be happy."

The trip to the police station passed without incident and Ray soon stood rubbing his wrist where the handcuffs had chaffed. He reached for his phone and dialed. "Hey, Frannie, I'm back." He paused as he listened to her response. "Who is this? Just who do you think would be calling you and telling you I was home? Oh really? Well, just get your butt over here to the station and pick me up. Frannie...Frannie...I'm not kidding. Frannie...oh all right...I'm sorry...would you please come and get me? Thank you." He hung up the phone all the while contemplating all the different ways he could get back at her. He glanced across the room not quite sure what he was looking for. His attention centered on the chair beside his desk.

"Anybody seen Fraser?" he asked the room at large.

"He hasn't been around since you left for Houston," Elaine answered. "He did call and ask when you would be returning. Since I couldn't give him a definitive answer, he said for you to call him at the consulate when you got in."

"Did he say anything else?" Ray continued to rub his wrist as he strolled over to stand behind Elaine.

"Nope, just to call him."

"Thanks, Elaine." Ray smiled. It was good to be back in familiar territory. All it lacked was Fraser's presence.

"You're welcome, Ray."

Striding over to his desk, Ray lifted the receiver of his phone and began dialing the Canadian Consulate.

"Vecchio? My office," Lt. Welsh stood in the doorway of his office.

Ray sighed and replaced the receiver of his phone. Twenty minutes later, he backed out of Welsh's office. He hated debriefing almost as much as prisoner extradition. He made a beeline for his desk, intent on giving his friend a call. He lifted the receiver.

"Ray? Where's that brother of mine? If this is his idea of a joke, I'll...I'll.." Frannie stormed into the bullpen.

Ray dropped the receiver into its cradle then turned to face his sister. "You'll do what, Frannie?"

"I'll...never mind! You ready to go? I got better things to do than play chauffeur for you."

"Like what? You got some boyfriend I don't know about? You win the Miss America contest? You studying for your doctoral exams? Face it, Frannie, you got no life." Ray grabbed his bags and headed out the door.

"And just how would you know?" floated from the doorway as Frannie followed Ray into the hallway and down the stairs.

Elaine smiled as she turned back to her computer screen. It was nice to know that some things never changed. Sibling squabbles were still sibling squabbles no matter which siblings were involved. Elaine paused for a moment. 'Does Fraser ever squabble with his sister?' she wondered before returning to her work.

* * *

Becka Fraser unfolded the scrap of paper and studied the address written in Cat Madden's untidy scrawl. She looked back up at the brownstone building in front of her. "Well, Dief, if Cat's information is right then this is where I should find Phil McKenzie."

Dief's ears perked up and he vigorously wagged his tail. It was about time someone hunted down the Lavender Woman. He lifted his muzzle searching for the scent of the female. Not finding it, he followed his packmate's sister into the building.

"Dief, why don't you wait down here."

*Woof*

"Well, I don't know how the company would react to having a wolf in their office. You wouldn't want to get Phil into some kind of trouble before we've even met her, would you? Besides, what if I miss her and she leaves before I can speak to her? You can keep watch on everyone that leaves and stop her if she comes down before me. Okay?"

Dief didn't much like the idea of being left in the lobby of the building but at least it was air-conditioned. He snorted loudly before turning his 'wounded puppy dog' look on Becka.

"You drive a hard bargain, Diefenbaker. All right, I'll buy you a jelly donut if you behave yourself while I'm gone. Deal?"

*Woof* Well satisfied with the deal, Dief padded over to the lush indoor garden and began nosing in and around the various potted plants. He glanced up briefly and smirked at his packmate's sister. She understood his craving for sweets better than anyone else did.

Becka shook her head in amusement then proceeded to the elevator. Scanning the company listings, she quickly located BakTrak, Inc. Declining to use the elevator, she headed up the stairwell to the second floor and her rendezvous with this woman from Ben's past. She hoped Cat was right about Phil, otherwise this visit would be a disaster. Maybe she shouldn't tell Phil who she was. Maybe she should wait and get to know her a little bit better before springing that kind of news on her. Maybe she should just forget all about this and let Ben sort out his own love life. She stopped her ascent, turned around, and began descending the stairs.

No, she had started this and she would see it through. Turning once more she hurried up the stairs and exited the stairwell into a wide hallway. Closed doors ranged from left to right, each proclaiming the name of the business or organization housed behind it. Becka searched for Suite 205. Following the corridor to the left, she turned a corner and came face to face with an oak-framed glass door. 'BakTrak, Inc.' was painted in gold letters on its frosted surface. She drew in a steadying breath and turned the knob. Entering the office, she was greeted with a tastefully decorated reception area. A large oak desk was set off to one side while two chairs, a sofa, and a scattering of tables were grouped on the other side of the office area. Everything was done in shades of tan or forest green. A large oak display case on the opposite wall held a wide selection of pamphlets. The walls were decorated with photos of people. Becka recognized some of the backdrops: Banff, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, Franklin Bay, Chilkoot Pass, and other familiar sights. All of this was noted in passing as Becka approached the desk and the man seated there.

"Hello, I'm Jeff Bowers. May I help you?" Jeff asked the attractive young woman who had just entered the office.

"I'd like to see Dr. McKenzie if she's here," Becka replied quickly before her resolved departed.

"I'm sorry but Dr. McKenzie is not here at the moment. Do you have an appointment?" Jeff sat back down at his desk and pulled up Phil's appointment calendar on his computer screen and scrolled through today's listing.

"No, I don't have an appointment. I was in town and thought I would drop by and see her."

"Oh? You know Phil?"

"No, no...her services were recommended to me by a mutual friend." Becka paused, then continued, "If you don't mind I'll wait for Dr. McKenzie to return." She was surprised at how quickly the little white lie slipped from her lips. Well, it wasn't exactly a lie; they were both friends of Cat Madden.

"I'm sorry but Phil...Dr. McKenzie won't return today. She is driving Dr. Kehr, her associate, to the airport."

"Kehr? Would that be Mark Kehr?" Becka recalled Cat telling her that Mark had gone to work in Chicago. It seems she let slip the fact that Mark had gone to work for the same company that employed Phil.

"Do you know Mark?"

"If he's the same Mark Kehr that I went to school with, I do. I haven't seen him in almost ten years." Becka smiled wryly. It was strange to run across an old acquaintance when she least expected it.

Jeff smiled at the young woman. Mark certainly knew some beautiful women. "I'm sorry that you've missed Mark as well. He's on his way to Australia and won't be back for over a month."

"What's he doing over there?"

"He's putting together an excursion package to the Great Barrier Reef."

"Really? He talked about visiting Australia and the reefs when we were in school together. I'm glad he's getting to live out one of his dreams."

"I'm sure he'll be sad to learn he missed seeing you, Ms...?"

"Smith, Jane Smith," Becka hurriedly used her old alias. For some reason she didn't want Phil to know that she was a Fraser.

"Can I set up an appointment for you, Ms. Smith?"

"An appointment?"

"To see Dr. McKenzie."

Biting her lip briefly, Becka came to a decision. "Is Dr. McKenzie available for lunch tomorrow?"

Jeff checked the appointment calendar. "It looks like she's free."

"Good, I'll stop by tomorrow around 11:30 and we'll go to lunch."

Jeff entered the information in the computer and, at the same time, updated Phil's computer screen as well. "I have you down for 11:30 tomorrow, Ms. Smith. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Tell me a little bit about what BakTrak does," Becka invited.

Rising, Jeff left the desk and approached the display case. Removing several pamphlets, he gave them to Becka. "We are in the business of developing and organizing excursions for various businesses. We have several geological packages as well as several historical ones. Mark is putting together our first oceanographic one. We've provided field trip excursions for such organizations as the American Association of Petroleum Geologists, the Association of American Geographers, the Sierra Club, the Illinois Geological Survey, The Field Museum, and others. We also provide field trips to various locations that are open to anyone. Our latest venture is a team-building package to the Grand Canyon that we've sold to several law firms here in Chicago."

"It sounds like an interesting business."

"It is and I've enjoyed working for Phil. She is certainly one of the more interesting employers that I've had."

So Phil owned BakTrak. Not knowing if that information was important or not, Becka filed it away in her memory. Extending a hand, she said, "Thank you kindly for all your help, Mr. Bowers. I'll see you tomorrow when I come for my appointment."

"It's been my pleasure, Ms. Smith."

Becka cringed when she heard that name from her past but this was for Benny. She could always clear up the deception later.

Returning to the lobby, Becka was joined by the wolf. "She wasn't there, Dief. I'm coming back tomorrow to see her, though."

*Woof*

"All right, let's go find your jelly donut," Becka laughed as she followed Dief out of the building and down the street. Pausing outside a small deli, she turned to the wolf, "Would you rather have a sandwich?"

"Woof* A sandwich sounded great to Dief and this deli made great sandwiches.

"Good boy! I can pick Benny up something as well. You know he won't eat anything until he gets home later. I wonder what the emergency was that required him to work tonight? I bet you anything it has something to do with Thatcher." Recalling the unpleasant woman she'd met years earlier, she continued, "I tell you, Dief, that's one strange woman. With her drive and ambition I'm sure she'll go far but I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Now you wait right here and I'll be back in a moment." Becka spoke as she opened the door and entered the small deli.

The wolf plastered his nose against the window of the small shop grumbling against those stupid city ordinances that prohibited dogs from entering eating establishments. Maybe he could convince Alpha Male or his sister to carry one of those white sticks. The dogs that accompanied the people with white sticks got to go everywhere. However, those harnesses looked a bit uncomfortable. Maybe he would just use his 'poor, starved wolf' look or try some other tactic.

After purchasing a roast beef sandwich for Dief, Becka purchased a Cajun chicken sandwich, some French fries, and a bottle of Naya Water for her brother. Munching on a French fry, she headed in the direction of the consulate. Halting in mid-stride, she stared back the way she had come. She shook her head slightly when she realized just how close Phil's office was to the consulate. 'I wonder how many times they've almost run into each other?' she thought as she sneaked another French fry.

Rounding the corner onto Stetson, Becka crossed the street and approached the building that housed the Canadian consulate. Becka sighed in relief when she saw that there was no one standing sentry duty. After Ben's brush with the heat, she worried about his duty assignments. Why would anyone assign someone with her brother's experience to stand sentry duty? That was for green recruits and not for seasoned veterans. Thatcher seemed to use sentry duty as a means of inflicting her ideas of proper procedure and decorum on her subordinates.

Climbing the stairs, she knocked smartly on Ben's office door before pushing it open and bustling inside. Ben rose to meet her only to have the sack with the food pushed into his hand.

"Here's you some dinner, Benny. Since you don't know what time you'll be home I decided to bring you something to eat."

"Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Becka."

"I don't want you starving yourself over your job, brother dear."

Ben settled back down at his desk and opened the sack. "Won't you join me, Becka?"

Becka smiled at him before answering, "No time, Benny. I want to visit the Field Museum and there's a special program there tonight."

"What program?"

"There's a new display of Northwest Coast Culture artifacts. From what I've read, it's a relatively new purchase. The official opening is next week but they are having a working seminar tonight. I thought it would be interesting to attend."

Ben briefly thought of TJ McKenzie and wondered if he would be at the program that evening. He'd never asked Cat just what he did for the museum. He'd been too angry at the time. His attention was drawn back to Becka.

"Cat said I should see these artifacts. She knows the man that purchased them for the museum. It's a working session where the participants get to help set up some of the displays for the opening next week. I'm looking forward to it."

"I'm glad to see you taking an interest in your old hobby."

"It's more than an interest, Benny. Something Cat said to me has stuck in my mind; she said that the RCMP wasn't the only job out there. She thought I ought to explore my other assets."

With a wry smile on his face, Ben chuckled then said, "Cat always was one to give advice even if it wasn't wanted."

"That's what makes her so special and I'm glad she's finally happy with her life. You know, Benny, I was beginning to think that Cat would never settle down. I'm glad she's found Lloyd." Noticing Ben's sudden quietness, Becka stammered, "I'm sorry, Benny. I didn't mean to bring up that situation. I wish it had worked out for you and Cat. I would have loved to have her for a sister."

"It wasn't meant to be, Becka. I'm just hurt that she would give up her..." Ben paused as he searched for an appropriate word to describe Cat's appetites. Failing, he tried once more to express his thoughts, "I mean...my love wasn't enough for Cat. There were always other men she wanted to know...love. I was never enough. I guess what hurts the most is knowing that she wouldn't give up her lifestyle for me but she will for this Lloyd." Ben couldn't help the wave of jealousy that swept over him.

"I guess that's what you do when you meet the right person."

"I guess so," Ben whispered. He recalled how Phil had been willing to give up her position at the university in order to be with him. She had truly loved him, but he had thrown her love away for what? Victoria? How could he have made such a mistake? He had been welcomed into Phil's family, not only by Phil but by her brothers as well. How strange it was that both men now lived and worked here in Chicago. He'd met Rob once more when Ray had shot him and TJ just this past Christmas when Cat had sneaked off to see him. It had alarmed him to learn that TJ worked at the Field Museum. What else did he not know about the family that might have been his if he'd made a different choice all those years ago?

Becka caught the resignation in Ben's reply but not wanting to raise that specter at this time, chose to disregard it. She filed it in the back of her mind meaning to bring it forth at a more appropriate time. Ben needed to talk about what was happening in his life. Maybe he would talk to her. Then again, maybe he only needed a vacation like Ray had suggested. Whatever the cause, she was determined to have it out of Ben before she returned to Canada. "Benny? Benton Fraser! Just where did you blip off to? One minute you were with me and the next you were somewhere else."

"I was just recalling something Cat told me about the museum."

"Oh? What would that be?"

"She knows one of the curators there."

"You mean TJ McKenzie?"

Momentarily shocked into silence, Ben collected his scattered wits and replied, "Yes, I believe so."

"He came up in one of our conversations. I understand you two used to be good friends."

"That was a long time ago, Becka. Things change."

"I know they do, Benny, and sometimes the changes aren't for the better. It's too bad, though."

"Why?"

"We all have regrets about things that have happenedwishing we could go back and make the right decisions. I think we're just afraid of what's going to happen in the future, knowing what's happened in the past."

"Understood."

Becka smiled sadly at her brother, "I know you understand, Benny. I imagine there are times when your regrets and fears seem overwhelming. I know mine have a way of sneaking up on me when I'm least expecting them."

"Next time they do, Becka, you tell them that they have to contend with me. I promised you that I would take care of you."

Becka clasped the hand that slid across the desk. "I know you did, Benny, but there are some things that even you can't face for me. Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Becka, just don't forget that you have a big brother and I love you."

"How could I ever forget that," Becka leaned across the desk and gently squeezed Ben's arm. "Now back to TJ McKenzie...Cat said I should look him up."

"Really? Why?" 'What is Cat up to?' Ben wondered.

"I think she's trying to play matchmaker for me." Noting Ben's thunderous expression, Becka quickly added, "Don't worry, Benny, I told her what I thought of that idea but she suggested that I might enjoy discussing native cultures with him. She's the one who actually signed me up for the seminar this evening. I'm actually looking forward to it."

"Then I won't keep you any longer."

"You're not keeping me, Benny. To be honest, I was kind of curious to hear what you thought of TJ. Cat was a little obvious about his assetsno man could be that great. You've known him a lot longer than Cat, what do you think of him?"

"Why do you want to know these things?" Ben asked.

Becka threw up her hands and glanced away from Ben. How could she explain something she wasn't quite sure of herself? "I don't know, Benny. I guess I just wanted to be prepared to meet him. That is...if he is present at the seminar tonight."

"It's been over twelve years since I've seen him. I'm afraid anything I could tell you about him would be out of date. People change and I'm sure TJ has changed as well."

"Well, it was worth a try," Becka said as she sneaked another French fry. "So," Becka stood and brushed her hands on her thighs. "Can I leave Dief here with you? I can't see him behaving himself in a museum."

"Certainly, Becka, Dief can stay here with me."

"Great!"

"Let me call you a taxi," Ben suggested.

"I can walk, Benny."

"I know that, Becka, but I assume you want to spend some time at the museum rather than walking there."

"You're right as usual, Benny." She stood on tiptoe and kissed Ben's cheek. "Don't wait up for me."

"Be home before midnight or I'll have to hunt you down."

"Yes sir!" Becka snapped to attention and saluted smartly.

Ben laughed. Dressed in a bright blue and yellow T-shirt over navy slacks, Becka looked nothing like the Mountie she was. "You know what I mean, Becka."

"Yes, I do, Benny, and I'll be careful." Grabbing her handbag, she opened the door. Peering over her shoulder, she smiled as she said, "I know how to take care of myself, Benny, but thanks for the thought."

* * *

"I'm home, Ma," Ray called as he carried his bags through the front door.

"Of course, you're home. Who else would stomp into the house and demand the undivided attention of everyone present?" Frannie pushed past her brother and hurried up the stairs.

Mrs. Vecchio stepped to the door of the kitchen and smiled at her only son. "Raymondo, you look thin. Didn't you eat while you were gone?"

"I ate just fine, Ma. But you know how restaurant food is...it can't compare with yours."

"You're such a good boy, Raymondo. Hurry and take a shower and dinner will be ready when you are through."

Ray kissed his mother on the cheek. "I'll do that, Ma."

Mrs. Vecchio shooed him off with her wooden spoon. "Go now before my marinara sauce burns."

Ray grabbed his bags and hurried up the stairs to his bedroomhis haven in the madhouse that was the Vecchio household. Opening one of the bags, he began sorting through his clothes, tossing dirty ones on the floor and clean ones on the bed. Soon a lone pair of black socks lay on the bed while the rest of his clothes were scattered about the floor. Ray took one look at the pair of socks and said, "To hell with it," and threw the socks on the floor with the rest of his clothes.

Digging through his closet, he pulled out a pair of tan slacks and a blue polo shirt. He stepped over the clothes in the floor and headed out of his room. He could always pick up his laundry later.

Mrs. Vecchio heard the water running in the bath upstairs and smiled. Wiping her hands on her apron, she stepped into the utility room and removed a basket. Moments later she descended the stairs, Ray's dirty clothing piled into the basket. Back once more in the utility room, she sorted the clothes placing his suit aside to be sent to the dry cleaners. The rest went into the washer waiting for Ray's shower to end. When the sounds of running water ceased, Mrs. Vecchio turned on the washer then returned to her cooking.

Ray leisurely dried himself and dressed. He strolled across the hallway and entered his room not the least surprised that his dirty clothing had disappeared. "Ma..." Ray smiled. No matter how old he was, she still treated him like a little boy. He closed the suitcases, placing the small gifts he'd purchased on the dresser. Placing the suitcases at the back of his closet, he threw himself across the bed and reached for the phone. He'd give Fraser a quick call and let him know that he was back in town.

"Raymondo! Dinner!"

Ray sighed. He'd give Fraser a call after dinner. Thinking of what his mother was preparing made his mouth water. He dropped the receiver back in its cradle and rolled over. He fumbled around under his bed searching for his house slippers. Slipping them on his feet, Ray stood and headed downstairs for a Vecchio family dinner.

* * *

"Canadian Consulate, Constable Benton Fraser speaking."

"Hiya, Benny!"

"Ray! You're back!" A smile spread across Ben's face.

"Yeah and am I ever glad to be back. You have no idea just how hot Houston was." Ray rolled over onto his back. Snagging a pillow, he made himself more comfortable on his bed.

"No, but I am familiar with the differences between a Yukon summer and a Chicago summer."

"You got summer in the Yukon?" Ray smiled anticipating Ben's response.

"Of course, we do, Ray. It's just not as warm as Chicago's is." Ben leaned back in his chair. He would never admit it to Ray but he enjoyed these small sparring matches with him.

"Hey, Benny, how late does the Dragon Lady have you working tonight?"

"I'm almost finished, Ray." Ben glanced at his watch. "Another hour and I will be ready to go home."

"Listen, why don't I swing by the consulate and pick you up. We can run by your apartment so you can change. We'll pick up Becka and go out and have some coffee."

"I would enjoy that, Ray, but don't count on Becka joining us. She is attending a seminar at the Field Museum and I don't know when she'll be finished."

"Well then, it's just the two of us."

"Three."

"Three?"

"Don't forget Diefenbaker."

"How could I ever forget that furball. All right, the three of us." Ray smiled, anticipating seeing his friend once more even if it meant seeing the wolf as well. Making his farewell, Ray again smiled and shook his head in amazement. He could honestly say that he would enjoy seeing Dief as well as his owner. Just when had that furball gone from being a nuisance to being a friend? No doubt about it, the Mountie was definitely rubbing off on him.

Fifty-two minutes later, Ray pulled his Riv to the curb in front of the building that housed the Canadian consulate. As if that was a signal, the door of the building opened and Fraser stepped out followed by Diefenbaker. Turning, he locked the door then descended the steps and strode over to the green car. Opening it, he pulled the seat back forward letting the wolf into the back seat. He settled into the seat after placing his Stetson on the dashboard.

"How was Houston, Ray?"

"Hot."

"I'm sure it was more than just hot, Ray,"

"You're right. It was hot and humid."

"Ray, Ray, Ray. Houston is a huge city. Surely you visited a museum or saw a play or..." His voice trailed off as Ray turned one of his 'you're kidding' looks on him. "How about a ballgame? I hear the Astros are doing quite well."

"As compared to what?" Ray drummed on the wheel of the car. "No, Fraser, I didn't see anything; I didn't go to any games; I didn't visit the zoo. I did nothing except sit on my butt and wait for the HPD to free up my prisoner."

"Ray, I cannot believe that you spent this last week cooped up in your motel room waiting for a prisoner to be released to your custody."

Searching for something, anything to satisfy the Mountie's curiosity, Ray offered, "I went to Galveston to the beach."

Ben nodded his head in acknowledgement. "There now, you did do something. How was it? Did you 'ogle the babies on the shore'?"

"That's 'babes on the beach', Benny, and no I didn't. It was so hot and humid that nobody in their right mind was out on the beach and the only babes I saw were a couple of ladies old enough to be my mother! No, I did not have a great time there. It stunk. It smelled like dead fish."

"Ah..." Ben again nodded his head.

"Don't 'ah' me, Fraser. I can see right through you."

"You can?"

"Yes! Now, hurry up and change," Ray said as he pulled the Riv to the curb in front of Ben's apartment building.

Thirty minutes later, Ray and Ben found themselves seated in a booth at the back of McGinty's Bar. The waitress soon brought their coffee and it was Ray that reopened the conversation. "How's it going with Becka?"

"She's at the Field Museum helping put together a display of Aboriginal artifacts."

"I asked how she was doing not what she was doing."

Ben leaned back and ran his tongue over his upper lip. "I don't know, Ray. For some reason that subject has never come up. She seems to be more concerned about me than about herself."

"Maybe you should just set her down and have it out."

"Maybe," Ben didn't know if that's what he really wanted. He was afraid that Becka's concern might further undo his uneasy peace with himself.

Ray sighed, shifting to let his glance range over the other occupants of the espresso bar. Turning back to face his friend, his expressive face changed and became almost somber. Staring at his fingers as they meticulously shredded a napkin, he lowered his voice, "You know, Benny, something happened while I was in Houston." He knew before he even said it that he was going to talk to Ben about Casey. After what Cat had said, maybe Benny could sympathize with what he was going though. He only knew he had to speak to someone. Maybe if he spoke about what was in his heart, Ben would open up and talk about what was bothering him.

Ben sat up straighter, "What?"

"I was wandering around the mall and I stumbled into something. I didn't know what to do and now I wish I'd handled it differently."

"What happened, Ray?"

"I saw Casey."

"Casey Sinclair?" Ben felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

"Yeah. She was at a book signing and all I could do was stand outside the store and stare at her through the window." Ray dropped his face into his hands before running them over his short hair. "I should've said something to her but I didn't. I had a chance, Benny, but I was too much of a coward to take it."

"Ray, don't be so hard on yourself. We all have opportunities that we let slip past. I'm sure you'll have another chance to talk to her. After all, all you have to do is pick up a phone and call her."

"It's not that simple, Fraser."

Ben was silent for a moment then, clasping his hands before himself on the table, said, "Understood."

"Ya know, Benny, I believe you. I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." A startled glance from Ben was the only indication that Ray had that told him Ben had heard what he said. Catching his friend's eye, he said, "Benny...I know that there was a woman in your past. Someone that you really loved but, for some reason, it didn't work out. If you'd like to talk about her...I'm a sympathetic ear."

It was Ben's turn to stare at his folded hands. The subject of Phil McKenzie was not one he wished to discuss with anyone let alone Ray. Why add to the troubles that beset his friend with something that was completely out of his control? "There's really nothing to discuss, Ray. It was over a long time ago." He glanced up briefly then lowered his eyes, afraid that they might reveal more than he wanted them to. "I sometimes have moments of regret but that is only natural given my experience with women."

"Ya know, Benny, that's what totally amazes me. You look like a Greek god or something and you've got women falling all over themselves but you act like you don't know up from down around them. Have you ever thought about taking one of them up on her offer? Excluding Frannie, of course."

"Of course." Ben took a sip from his coffee then straightened in his seat. He leaned back and crossed his arms on his chest. "As you well know, Ray, I'm not comfortable around women and I don't encourage their advances."

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"I've never thought that physical beauty was something to base a relationship on. The women in my life have always been ones who looked past my face and wanted to know the real me."

"We're not talking about a lasting relationship here, Benny. How 'bout a short-term fling?"

"I've tried that, too, Ray."

Ray's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You have?"

"Yes. It's not something I'm proud of."

Ray looked at Ben in surprise. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Ray. I guess, I'm just not the type to indulge in casual sex."

Recalling a dark time over two years earlier, Ray asked, "Then what was it with Victoria?"

Ben's head dropped forward onto his chest. What was it with Victoria? He really didn't know and he didn't think he could explain her hold on him. Slowly he shook his head before raising it to gaze into Ray's somber eyes. "I don't know, Ray. There was something about her that drew me even though I knew she had a darkness inside of her. I don't think I will ever be able to answer that question."

"That's okay, Benny. We all have regrets in our lives."

"Regrets...yes, we do, Ray." Regrets that sometimes overwhelmed him, but not tonight.

Ray swallowed the last of his coffee and motioned toward Ben's cup. "You 'bout finished?"

Ben drank the last of his coffee then slid his large frame out from the booth. Ray followed. "Hey Benny, I've got some tickets for a Sox game. How 'bout we take Becka to watch the 'Great American Pastime'?"

"I think Becka would enjoy that, Ray."

"Great!" Ray inserted the key in the door of the Riv then opened the door and slid behind the steering wheel. He leaned across and unlocked the passenger side but Ben no longer stood there. "Hey, Benny, where did you go? Shit!" He relocked the passenger door then climbed out of the car. He could see the form of his friend following Dief across the parking lot. Slamming the door shut, he hurried to catch up with his friend.

* * *

TJ McKenzie smiled as he shook Dr. Harper's hand and let himself be introduced to several of his old professor's students. Not too many years ago, he had been on the other end of just such an introduction.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it, McKenzie?" Dr. Harper's queried. No matter how old or how well known his students became, they were still called by their surnames.

"Yes, it does, sir. I remember the first dig you took me on; I was all thumbs...sure I was doing everything wrong."

"Which you were."

TJ grinned and bobbed his head in acknowledgement. "That was a long time ago. I like to think that I've improved some over the years."

"Don't we all," Dr. Harper agreed. They chatted for a few more minutes renewing their acquaintanceship.

"If you'll excuse me, sir, I need to greet some of the other participants." TJ bid farewell and strolled among the participants welcoming them to the evening's work session. Phil had been right as usual. These working seminars were an excellent way to get work done cheaply as well as providing on-the-job training for students. Besides, it was just plain fun to spend an evening with such an eager group.

He glanced around the assembled group taking in the wide diversity of people that had shown up for the session. He waved to a couple of white-haired men. They had attended several other sessions, becoming fixtures at them. TJ always looked forward to working with them. His eyes roamed over the others in the group finally catching sight of a young woman sporting a blue and yellow T-shirt. Something about her seemed familiar. It was if he had met her or seen her somewhere else. Brows furrowed in concentration, he stared at the woman willing her to look at him. When she did, their eyes locked and TJ smiled. She was every bit as beautiful as he'd imagined. Feeling a flush of desire, TJ took a step in her direction. He hadn't felt like this since leaning over a sleeping Cat Madden in a hospital in Moose Jaw. Who was this woman?

The woman returned his stare then turned and fled the room. That was the only way to describe the hasty exit she made. Curiosity aroused, TJ motioned for one of his assistants, "Peter, start making the assignments while I take care of something."

"Sure thing, Dr. McKenzie," Peter replied as he gathered the lists of assignments together.

TJ watched for a moment then followed the woman out into the hall. Something impelled him to follow her. He'd never had a woman flee from him before and it was a new sensation. Had he inadvertently frightened her? Maybe she was in the wrong place. He hoped not. He stepped out into the hallway and looked left then right. The woman stood about ten feet away, leaning against the wall. Her head was bowed. He quietly approached her, and placing a hand on her shoulder, asked, "Are you all right?"

* * *

Becka glanced around the small room taking stock of the other people present. Some she could immediately identify as university students. Had she been that eager looking? Others were harder to place--a professor, two housewives, an insurance salesman, several others as yet unidentified, and TJ McKenzie. Becka had recognized him the moment he'd strolled into the room. The photo in Cat's possession did him little justice. He was even more handsome in person. A flush of desire swept through her and was gone as quickly as it had appeared. She watched as he lifted his head and scanned the waiting group. Flustered, she abruptly dropped her eyes, aware that she'd been staring at him. What if he noticed her stare? Slowly counting to ten, she took a deep breath and glanced up once more. TJ was looking directly at her. Their eyes locked and the warmth of his glance amazed Becka. That photo of Cat's had little prepared her for the physical impact of TJ McKenzie--an impact that suddenly made her breathless. She swallowed quickly. How did she let Cat talk her into this situation?

Turning abruptly, she hurried out of the room. She had to get out of there and catch her breath. Leaning against the wall of the hallway, she hugged herself wondering what had happened. She laughed grimly to herself. She'd never run from any man. She was a Fraser and she had learned at the hands of the best how to defend herself. But, for some unknown reason, she felt defenseless before the simple stare of TJ McKenzie. Why had Cat sent her to him? Did she know that he would have this effect on her? How could Cat do this to her?

A voice spoke to her. Without looking she knew who the voice belonged to--TJ McKenzie. His voice called her back to the here and now.

"Are you all right?" The deep, rich, velvet tones caressed her senses and the hand on her shoulder burned like a brand.

Becka started and pulled away from his touch. "No, I'm fine. I'm just...the room was too hot...needed some air." She knew her stammered response made no sense, but her mind was incapable of forming coherent thoughts.

"Would you care for something cold to drink? I have some stuff in the refrigerator in my office."

Becka shook her head. "No, I don't think so, Dr. McKenzie. I just need to catch my breath." How could she tell him that his very nearness was the cause of her breathlessness?

TJ studied her flushed face before extending his hand. "You seem to know who I am. You would be?" he queried.

Becka stared at the proffered hand before extending her own. Swallowing hard, she answered, "Rebecca Fraser."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Fraser." TJ shook her hand holding it slightly longer that necessary.

Becka smiled then pointedly glanced down at their hands. She noticed his hand, a fine, almost beautiful hand, with long, elegant fingers and manicured nails that fit him perfectly. A sudden image of those fingers trailing across her body sent a shiver down her spine.

"Maybe, we should return to the seminar. We might be missed."

Nervously, Becka glanced at the door of the seminar room then back down the corridor to the stairs and the way out of there. She didn't have to stay. She could leave and never have to face this man again.

As if reading her thoughts, TJ said, "Please, stay. I won't bite and, even if I did, I've had my rabies shots."

The incongruity of TJ's statement brought a smile to Becka's lips. "How...how did you know?"

"I've got the papers to prove it."

Becka grinned openly now. "You know that that's not what I meant. How did you know that I was going to leave?"

TJ smiled, "You reminded me of my sister. I've seen her bolt from various situations enough times to be able to recognize it when it happens."

Becka realized that he was talking about Phil, which brought to mind her brother. It was for his benefit that she was here. How could she explain to Cat that she had run from TJ McKenzie without even trying to help her brother? In less time than it took to think about it, Becka made up her mind. She would stay for her brother. As devastatingly handsome as TJ McKenzie was, he was, after all, only a man. She could handle anything that walked on two legs. She collected her scattered wits and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"Good. Let's go see what's left as far as assignments go," TJ invited and placing a hand in the small of her back, gently steered Becka back to the seminar room.

Upon entering the room, TJ's assistant hurried over. "I've given out the assignments. Here's your group." Peter thrust a paper into TJ's hand. "I've got to gather my group and get started."

Becka stood off to one side as TJ read his assignment. Glancing up at her, he said, "It looks like you're a member of my group. I hope that doesn't bother you."

"Not at all, Dr. McKenzie."

"Good," TJ hesitated before continuing, "...and call me TJ. Everybody does."

"I'll try to remember that, Dr. McKenzie...TJ. Please call me Becka."

TJ smiled before turning to the two other people that had approached him. "Hello, Mr. Webster, Mr. Stoddard. It's always a pleasure to have your expert hands to help set up a display."

The two older men smiled and shook TJ's hand. "That's why we told your assistant we wanted to be in your group." They both eyed Becka then Karl Webster add, "You always collect the prettiest workers, too."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, gentlemen," Becka grinned mischievously at them. She could tell that she would enjoy working with the older men. TJ was a different proposition however.

Over the next three hours, TJ's group busily arranged a display of Tlingit artifacts. Becka carefully spread a Chilkat blanket over a mounting frame, smoothing out the fringe. It was beautiful in its simplicity. The black and white faces seemed to watch her movementsalmost as if they were approving of the manner in which she treated the blanket. Having grown up among the indigenous peoples of Canada, she and her brother had learned many stories and legends and she knew the significance of the blanket. Running her hand gently over its rough texture, she wondered if it could really talk to her. Probably not since she didn't know how to listen for the voices. 'I wonder if Benny hears the voices of his blanket?' she asked herself.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" TJ admired the blanket that Becka carefully mounted in its frame.

"Yes, it is. It reminds me of when I was a little child. We lived with our grandparents in Kitimat."

"We?"

"My brother and I. Benny made friends with several Tsimshian boys and I tagged along with them wherever they went. When we grew up, one of his friends gave him a Chilkat blanket. He still has it. I have always thought it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Your brother is very fortunate. Chilkat blankets are not inexpensive and to own one that is not made for the tourist trade is very special."

"Yes it is." With TJ's help, Becka finished mounting the blanket and they carried it to the display area. Together they hung the blanket on the back wall. They stepped back to admire their work and the rest of the display that Webster and Stoddard had arranged.

TJ grinned approvingly. "Great job as always, Karl, Paul. I can always count on you. Thank you for helping."

"Now, Dr. McKenzie...TJ...you know we love doing this sort of thing and when you get to be our age you learn to do what makes you feel good."

"That's good advice, Paul. Too bad we don't always listen to it."

"Just wait till you're our age, TJ. Now if I'm not mistaken you need to catch up with that young filly before she gets away." Karl motioned with his head to where Becka was heading toward the door.

"What do you mean?"

"We were young once, TJ, now go before she gets away."

TJ shook his head and grinned at the two older men. "If you'll excuse me." The two men shooed TJ on his way.

TJ hurried to catch up with Becka. He knew with a certainty that he didn't want her to just walk out of his life. "Becka," he called as he caught up with her.

Becka turned and let TJ catch up with her. She had tried to sneak out but it didn't look like she would be able to get away from him. Secretly she was pleased that he'd come after her. The evening had been interesting and she'd enjoyed discussing Canada's aboriginal peoples with him. Her initial wariness had gradually been replaced by a comfortable familiarity. She watched him stop beside her and rake his hand through his long hair. An image of her fingers running through his dark locks flashed across the inside of her eyes and she wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

"Can I give you a lift home?" TJ finally asked.

"I don't live here in Chicago, TJ. I'm visiting my brother."

Inwardly, TJ sighed. Why was it whenever he met an interesting woman insurmountable obstacles seemed to appear. How was he going to get to know her better if she didn't live here in Chicago? Still, he was hesitant to just say goodbye. He'd enjoyed her company this evening and she had proven to be an able worker, knowledgeable in many preservation techniques as well as sharing his own interest in the indigenous peoples of North America. He would just have to make the best use of the time available. "In that case, how about some coffee?"

It was Becka's turn to wonder why fate seemed to taunt her with desirable but unobtainable men--unobtainable because of her background. Once a man learned of her past, his attitude toward her changed. Either he avoided her or he treated her like a prostitute. For some reason, she didn't want TJ to do that. That's why she'd tried to sneak out without him seeing her. For some reason, she didn't want to say goodbye. Cat had said he was a special man. Could he possibly look past her background? But then again, what made her think that her background would even come up? It wasn't as if she was going to become involved with him. She had no intention of doing that. She couldn't trust herself and she doubted that she would ever meet a man that could trust her after knowing her past. So, what could it hurt to share a cup of coffee? What could it possibly hurt to spend some extra time with him? "Yes," she said before she could change her mind.

* * *

Phil McKenzie shut the door behind her and wilted against its solid hardness. The trip out to the airport had been hectic but not as bad as the one back. A wreck on the bridge over the Chicago River had shut down all lanes of traffic. It had taken an extra hour to finally find a way around the mess. She was one of the fortunate ones; she'd been close to an exit and was able to leave the John F. Kennedy Expressway with minimum hassle. There were others that would be there for another hour or so before they could get out of that mess.

Unbuttoning her red shirt, Phil headed toward her office. Throwing her keys in her handbag, she tossed it on the daybed in her office then plopped down at her computer. Pulling up her appointment calendar, she made note of her appointments for tomorrow. 'Hmmm...I wonder who this Jane Smith is? Lunch? I wonder what she would like..." Taking care of other last minute business occupied about five minutes of her time.

Chance jumped into her lap and nudged her hand with his head. Phil absentmindedly stroked the black cat. Standing, she carried the cat from the office into her bedroom depositing him on her bed. She removed the shirt she had unbuttoned earlier. The olive drab slacks quickly followed. Wearing only a bright red teddy, Phil turned to face the cat. "You should be thankful that you don't have to wear clothes! I can't believe how hot it is. I'm going to take a shower and cool off." She watched the cat begin to knead the coverlet on the bed. "You aren't even listening to me, are you?" Picking up her shirt, she tossed it onto the bed, covering the cat.

Sliding out of her teddy, Phil turned the water on in the shower setting it for cooler than she normally liked. Minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom toweling her short hair. Tossing the towel back into the bathroom, she dug through her lingerie drawer searching for something cool to wear. She finally decided on a pair of cotton boxers. Pulling them on, she dug through her closet hunting for that old shirt of Martin's that he'd left that day he helped her hang her pictures on the wall of the dining room. Several sizes too large, Phil rolled the sleeves up until her hands and forearms were bare. Loose and cool, the shirt was just the right thing to wear.

She headed to the kitchen to prepare a light dinner. Martin was working tonight, trying to tie up loose ends before he left on his trip to Southeast Asia. She knew she wouldn't be able to see him before next week and the opening of TJ's exhibit at the museum. Martin was taking some time off to attend the opening with her but then it was back to the hospital and the backlog of work he was trying to clear up. She hadn't known a more dedicated doctor since her brother.

Phil was briefly disgusted that there would be no further opportunities to seduce Martin before he left. She guessed that she'd just have to wait until he returned. A sly smile spread across her face. 'Now that would be a homecoming!' she thought.

Taking stock of the contents of her refrigerator, Phil pulled together a salad. Drenching the greens with ranch dressing, Phil added bacon bits, cheese, and a shredded carrot. Fixing a tall glass of iced tea, Phil carried her simple dinner into the dining area and sat down at the table. Popping a pickled beet into her mouth, she thoughtfully chewed on it and stared at the pictures on her wall. As usual, the one of Ben Fraser seemed to draw her eyes. Even her latest addition, a photo of Martin and herself at a formal reception, didn't have the attraction of that single photo of Ben. Why was that? It wasn't even a particularly good shot of him. In fact, it was the worst photo she could find of him. Why hadn't she placed the framed picture of him in his dress reds, the one that had hung in Lindy's room, on her wall of photos? Why this tiny photo of him gazing off in the distance? Maybe it was because she didn't want to be reminded of just how handsome he was. Maybe she didn't like the idea of Ben's image watching her? She laughed nervously at that thought. After all, she had included that shot of the RMR group that included Ben. That one didn't seem to draw her eyes like the other. Why?

Why had she included a photo of Ben anyway? It's not as if she could forget what he looked like. The taste and feel of his body were imprinted on her memories. There was little likelihood that she'd ever forget his touch or the way he made her feel. Why then did she feel the need to include him amongst her photos?

Laying her fork beside her untouched salad, she clasped her hands together and rested her elbows on the table. Resting her chin on her entwined fingers, she stared at the photos on the wall. Ben's photo was included because Martin had remarked on its absence. She had photos of her other boyfriends, why not one of the man she'd almost married, the man that had fathered her child? Closing her eyes she let her thoughts wing back to that day three months ago when Martin had helped hang her photos.

 THREE MONTHS EARLIER

"Which one is next?"

Phil shifted her gaze from the photos remaining on her piano to the man standing on the stepstool, hammer in hand. Martin caught her glance and an irresistibly devastating grin spread across his finely chiseled features. Phil's eyes traveled up and down his body. Clad in jeans and a T-shirt, his stance emphasized the force of his thighs and the slimness of his hips. Did he even know just how sexy he looked?

"Well?"

Phil blinked her eyes. "Well...what?"

"Which photo do you want to hang next?" He motioned toward the small collection at Phil's back. After briefly tugging at the neck of his T-shirt, Martin pushed the hair from his brow with the back of his hand.

Phil turned to regard the photos remaining. A scant handful, they were her most treasured. For some reason she felt the need to explain them to Martin. She needed to see his reaction to them. "Let's take a break, Martin. These last photos can wait a moment."

Martin stepped off of the stool and laid the hammer on the carpet by the wall. He pulled his lean frame upright and stretched, raising his hands over his head. "That sounds great, Phil."

"Would you like some coffee or a cold beer?"

"Beer? I thought you didn't drink."

"I don't. It gets me into too much trouble." Martin's eyebrows raised inquiringly. Phil's lopsided smile accompanied the slight shaking of her head. "It's a long story."

"I'd love to hear it."

"I'm sure you would, but not right now."

Martin reached for Phil as she passed by him on the way to the kitchen. She eluded his hands and danced out of reach. Laughing, she again inquired, "What would you like to drink?"

"Whatever you're having."

"I'm having a Coke."

Grimacing slightly, Martin said, "That's fine with me."

"Sure it is. One beer coming up."

Martin threw back his head and laughed. He watched Phil disappear into the kitchen before tuning back to face the living room. His eyes were drawn to the piano and the few photos left there. Slowly he approached the piano. He stared at the small collection before picking one up--Phil and a blonde headed man. Returning it to the piano top, he reached for a photo in a driftwood framePhil and a dark skinned man. 'Native American,' Martin surmised. Placing it back on the piano, he was reaching for another photo when Phil spoke from his side.

"Now you know my secrets."

Martin turned and smiled down on Phil. "Secrets? You have secrets?"

Phil shrugged then nodded. "Doesn't everybody?" Motioning to the remaining photos she continued, "These are my secrets. I'd like to share them with you...if you'd like to hear them." Her voice rose in a question.

"I'd be honored, Phil." He took the offered beer and watched as Phil gathered the photos and moved to the sofa. Following behind her, he settled onto the sofa beside her.

Phil sorted through the photos until she found the one of her brothers and herself. Stroking the dark wooden frame of the photo, she said, "You've met my brothers, Rob and TJ." She handed the photo to Martin. "This was taken when Rob graduated from Med. School."

Martin studied the photo noting the resemblance between the McKenzie siblings. He knew Rob well and had met TJ several times. He had a feeling that he would get to know them much better.

The next photo was of a small group of people. Martin recognized Phil and her brothers as well as Rob's wife, Beth.

"This is my extended family. That's Casey Sinclair, Beth's sister, and her son, Trevor. That's Emily and Joseph Hope, Beth's aunt and uncle, and their son, Lloyd." Phil pointed out the people that were unknown to Martin. She then handed him a photo in a driftwood frame. "This is Lloyd Hope. Lloyd and I...we have..." She sighed. How could she make Martin understand the kind of relationship she had with Lloyd? "This is going to sound a little strange, Martin, but Lloyd and I love each other." Phil saw the startled look in Martin's eyes and forestalled the inevitable question by saying, "We love each other but it's not the marrying kind of love. At one time I thought it might be but ...but it wasn't...isn't. I'm not making much sense, am I?"

Martin took another look at the hawk-like features of the man in the photo before laying it on the coffee table. Taking Phil's hand in his, he gently squeezed it. "Strange as it may seem, Phil, you are making sense. I can understand how you could love someone without desiring marriage. He must be a special man to have won your love."

"He is and I think he's met the right woman for him. I don't know who she is but Casey and Emily only had great things to say about her."

"Emily and Casey?"

Phil tapped the frame of the family photo. "Emily and Joseph raised Beth and Casey after their parents were killed. Lloyd is their only child. He and Beth and Casey are as close as brother and sisters."

Martin chuckled. "It sounds like a family affair."

Phil grinned. "It almost was."

Martin tipped his beer bottle and took a generous swallow. He then gestured at the remaining photos. "Any more old boyfriends in there?"

"Naturally," Phil coyly replied.

Martin slapped his hand over his heart, "And I suppose you're going to regale me with them?"

"Of course." A mischievous twinkle sparkled in the depths of her eyes. "If for nothing more than to deflate that ego of yours."

"Phil! Now you're going to have to pay for that remark."

"Promises...promises. That's all I ever hear but do I ever see any action?" Phil shook her head hard pressed not to grin.

"Are you saying that I don't follow through on a promise?"

Tongue in cheek, Phil answered, "Oh, I would never say that, Martin. It just seems to me that you are a little slow in getting a job done." She carefully schooled her face into a solemn expression but was unable to remove the mischief from her eyes.

Grinning at the slender woman beside him, Martin replied, "Well then, I guess I'll just have to show you that that isn't true."

"And just how do you propose to do that?"

Letting actions take the place of his words, Martin placed the photo he was holding on the coffee table and gently extracted the remaining ones from Phil's grasp. Placing them beside the two already on the table, he swiveled on the sofa sliding a hand along the back until it encircled

Phil's shoulders. Slowly he slid the other hand up her right arm until it, too, found its way around her shoulders. He paused momentarily and using one of his hands tilted her face up to where he could see into the depths of her eyes. Smiling, he lowered his face and kissed her lips. He could feel the smile curving her lips before they parted and allowed him entrance to the soft warmth of her mouth.

The kiss lasted only a moment before Phil pulled away. "I'm sorry, Martin. I...I..."

Martin let his arms fall away from Phil's shoulders, "There's no need to explain anything, Phil. We can take this as slow as you want. We've got a lifetime ahead of us."

"A lifetime?"

"A figure of speech, Phil. I meant to say that there's plenty of time to get to know each other."

An awkward silence settled between them and Phil hurriedly reached for the next photo and handed it to Martin. A blonde man encircled Phil's waist with his arms. In the background the red colored walls of a canyon rose behind them.

"That's Travis Hunter. He and his brother own a small company that runs expeditions through the Grand Canyon. I met him on my second trip through the Canyon and we fell in love." Phil paused, thinking back over that trip through the Canyon. Running her tongue over her lips, she finally continued. "He asked me to marry him but I didn't love him enough to say 'yes' and he ended up marrying a good friend of mine. They are really happy together."

There were only two photos left. Phil turned one of them face down on the coffee table and handed the other to Martin. A tow-headed, bearded man in a khaki uniform grinned out at the camera, his arm casually slung over Phil's slim shoulders.

Martin arched an eyebrow, "Another one?"

Phil chuckled. "That's Jason Weller. We worked together at Rocky Mountain Rescue for several years. We became close after..." swallowing hard, Phil continued, "...after my daughter died." There, she'd finally said it.

Jason's photo was forgotten as Martin's eyes were riveted on Phil's face. "Your daughter?"

"Yes, my daughter." Phil lifted the photo that remained on the coffee table and turned it over for Martin to see. A sandy haired girl in a scarlet dress with white lace collar smile out at him. A miniature Stetson was clutched in her tiny hands. "This is Lindy, my daughter."

Martin accepted the photo and studied the infant. Startling blue eyes captured his. Tearing his eyes away from the photo he stared sympathetically at Phil. "I'm glad you finally told me about her." He heard Phil's quick intake of breath. Gently resting a hand on her arm, he continued, "Before you ask, I've known since the beginning."

"How? Rob?"

"No. You know that Rob would never volunteer such personal information."

"Then how?"

"It was in your medical records." Taking her hand, Martin brought it to his lips. "I decided to let you tell me in your own time."

Phil shifted slightly then bowed her head. "It's not something I tell a lot of people."

"Why not? She's a beautiful child."

"Yes, she was. She died not long after this photo was taken." She retrieved the forgotten photo of Jason. "Jason helped me through the time that followed. I couldn't have made it without him."

"Is he the father?"

Phil had known this question would come; she had even rehearsed what she would say but she was still unprepared to answer it. Glancing over at the photos already hanging on the wall, her eyes sought out the one of the RMR group--the one with Ben Fraser. Staring at it, she whispered, "No, Jason wasn't Lindy's father. I was engaged to marry a Mountie..."

"A Mountie?"

Phil nodded sadly. "Yeah. His name was Benton Fraser. He ended our engagement before Lindy was born. He'd met someone in the course of his job and had fallen out of love with me. He never knew he was a father. I tried to tell him but I could never get through to him. Then after Lindy died it just didn't seem important any more."

Martin gently took the photos from Phil's hands and placed them on the coffee table. Taking her in his arms once more, he held her close and whispered in her ear, "I'm sorry, Phil. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. But...in a way I'm not sorry."

"What?"

"If you'd married this man, we wouldn't be having this conversation and I wouldn't be kissing you like this." He dipped his head and kissed her soundly.

Phil smiled a thank you as their lips parted. "You certainly know how to cheer me up, Martin."

Martin glanced across at the piano and back at the wall of photos. "So, where's the photo of your Mountie? You have one of all your other boyfriends. Where is his?"

"I never had one framed for display." She winced inwardly as she thought of the photo that had hung in Lindy's room. "I didn't want to be reminded of him every time I glanced at my photos."

"Do you still love him?"

"Of course not!" Phil vehemently denied. Springing to her feet, she began to pace. "How could I still love him? He left me when I needed him the most and..." She spun to face him. "You know what the worst thing about all of this is? He left me for a bank robber...a murderer. I guess I wasn't exciting enough for him." She resumed her pacing.

"Phil...Phil!"

Phil paused in her pacing and ran her hands over her face. "I'm sorry, Martin. I don't know why what happened so long ago still bothers me. I don't even want to talk about him. Can we just drop this subject and not bring it up again?"

"Of course we can, Phil. We won't ever speak of him again."

But the damage had been done and that evening, after Martin left, Phil dragged out her metal filing box that contained Ben's memorabilia. She had meant to give it to TJ months before but had changed her mind at the last moment. Why couldn't she part with it? Why was it so important to her? Why couldn't she discard these memories of Ben the way he had discarded her love?

Delving into its depths, she retrieved the wallet of photos. The large framed picture stared at her from where she'd placed it on the floor. There was no way in hell that she would ever hang that picture again; especially not where everyone could see it--not where she could see it. Flipping through the wallet, Phil chose a photo of Ben. She had captured him in a pensive mood and his profile seemed the least threatening of the photos in her collection. She even had the perfect frame for it--nothing fancy, just a plain black document frame. Before she went to bed that night, Ben's image had been added to her wall of photos.

* * *

The drive to McGinty's Bar passed quickly and soon the dark blue Pathfinder pulled into the parking lot. Becka climbed out of the passenger side and strolled around to meet TJ as he slid from behind the steering wheel. She turned at a familiar bark.

*Woof*

"Diefenbaker?" She knelt in front of the white wolf. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you know this animal?" TJ asked from behind Becka.

"He belongs to my brother," Becka replied as she rose to her feet. It didn't take long to spot her brother approaching them across the parking lot. Ray followed behind. Glancing quickly at TJ, Becka cursed the fates that crossed her path with that of her brother at this specific time. How could she explain TJ to Ben? Or Ben to TJ?

TJ stared in the direction of Becka's gaze. Two men approached. One of them was vaguely familiar. The light of a streetlight illumined their faces and TJ glanced once more at Becka. Becka Fraser...Benton Fraser...Ben was Becka's brother. A mental image flashed across his thoughtsa picture on a wall of pictures and a familiar voice saying, 'That's Becka, Ben's sister. She's beautiful, isn't she?'

"Hello, TJ."

"Ben."

The tense silence between the two men was broken by Ray's query, "Hi, Becka. Benny said you were doing something at the museum. Are you through?"

Becka shot Ray a grateful smile. "Yes, we finished a short time ago and now Dr. McKenzie and I are going to have a cup of coffee."

"Well, you certainly picked the right place. McGinty's has the best cappuccino in town."

"That's what Dr. McKenzie said." She placed a hand on TJ's arm and tugged slightly.

TJ glanced down at the hand on his arm then back up at Becka's face. Something inside cried 'not fair' as he looked into her eyes. Anything he might have imagined happening died on the spot. How ironic! The one woman who piqued his interest (now that Cat was spoken for) was out of reach; barred by a man he'd once called 'friend'.

Becka watched TJ's eyes dull and felt strangely frightened. Turning to her brother, she said, "TJ and I are having coffee. I'll be home later." Grasping TJ's arm, she pulled him with her toward the door of the bar.

Ben started after them. Grabbing TJ's arm, he swung him about.

TJ angrily batted Ben's hand away. "Don't worry, Ben, I won't hurt your sister."

Ben's hands fell to his side as he watched Becka pull TJ away from him.

Ray strolled up to Ben as the couple entered the espresso bar. He was unnerved by the sudden change in his friend. This was so unlike the oh-so-polite Mountie that he'd come to know. "What was that all about? You two know each other?"

"We used to be friends a long time ago."

"Dammit, Benny. What is it with you and old friends? Didn't you part on good terms with any of them?"

"I don't understand, Ray."

"Victoria...Smithbauer...Eric...Gerard..."

"It's a long story, Ray."

"I'll just bet it is. Shall we go or are you going to bust up McGinty's?"

Ben glanced sideways at Ray then back at the door to the bar. As much as he might want to, he knew he would not follow Becka. TJ had said he wouldn't hurt her and, as much as TJ had grounds to hate him, he knew he wouldn't take it out on Becka. Placing his Stetson on his head, he turned and started back across the parking lot to Ray's car. Ray shrugged his shoulders and followed.

"I'm sorry, TJ. I didn't mean for this to happen." Becka swirled the coffee around in her mug with a spoon.

"Were you going to tell me?" TJ glanced over the rim of the mug he held.

"Yes. That's one of the reasons I accepted your invitation. I wanted to clear the air between us." TJ's eyebrows raised in inquiry but he remained silent, letting Becka find the words she searched for. "Cat's the one who signed me up for this seminar."

"Cat?"

"Yeah. She's still trying to play matchmaker between Ben and your sister."

"She doesn't give up easily, does she?"

"No. She seems to think that they still love each other. I don't know..." Becka tossed the spoon onto the table. "Do you think it's possible that they could still care for each other?"

TJ recalled the many times that Phil had asked him to get rid of her box of Ben's memorabilia only to have her change her mind at the last moment. He thought of the men that had entered her life only to go their own ways because they could never measure up to the standard that Ben had set. Even with her current flame, there was something missing. Something he couldn't put a finger on. As much as Phil claimed to love Martin, things just didn't add up. If she loved him so much then why wasn't he invited to attend the family gathering? His absence at the family affair had been conspicuous, especially with Cat there at Lloyd's invitation. Phil seemed a little too emphatic about her love for Martinalmost like she was desperate. She hadn't been the same since last summer and that week spent with Cat Madden. He knew they had talked of Ben Fraser but nothing had come of it. It seemed she had forgotten him and fallen in love with Martin. Was she fooling herself? Was it possible she still loved Ben? What was this hold Ben Fraser seemed to have over Phil?

TJ placed his mug on the table then, clasping his hands together, rested his chin on them. "I think it's entirely possible, Becka."

Becka's head bobbed in agreement. "So...what are we going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Have you ever lost someone you loved dearly..."

"Yes, I have and I do know what you mean." A mental image of Noelle brought its familiar pang of sorrow. "But we get over it."

"I'm sorry, TJ. Cat told me about your fiancé."

TJ shook his head in denial. "That was a long time ago, Becka."

"Granted, but your situation is not like that of Ben or Phil. If they would just talk to each other who knows what might happen."

"Maybe nothing."

"Maybe...but we'll never know if we can't get them back together to at least talk through their differences."

"There's a lot of hurt there."

"I know, TJ. Cat told me about...about Ben's daughter."

"You know about Lindy?"

Becka nodded her head. "I promised Cat I wouldn't tell Ben about her. She said that Phil had told her that she would tell him about their daughter."

"Phil rarely speaks of her. I think the loss of her on top of losing Ben made the pain almost more than she could bear."

"I don't know how I would have handled it. I don't think anyone would unless they'd been though something similar."

"So, what do you suggest?"

Becka grinned across the table at TJ. "I think we should try to get them together. You work on Phil and I'll work on Ben."

"Might be worth a try. I'd like to see her happy once more."

"Just like I'd like to see Benny happy once more. One question thought..."

"What?"

"How do you feel about getting my brother back together with your sister?"

"I stopped wanting to kill him years ago, Becka. All I want is for my sister to be happy. If that means having Ben Fraser back in her life, then so be it. And...truth be told, I've missed our friendship. I really liked Ben. If Ben and Phil can get back together, I think I can handle rekindling the friendship we lost."

"It's takes a strong man to admit that, TJ."

"No...just someone who cares a great deal for his sister."

"Well...just so you know, I have a luncheon engagement with Phil tomorrow. Although she doesn't know it's me. I gave a phony name. I was too afraid that she might recognize my name and not agree to meet with me."

"She might have at that."

"That's what I was afraid of...so I gave a phony name."

"Will you tell her who you are?"

"Yes, but not at first. I would like to get to know her before I raise the ghost of Ben. I don't know how she'll react to me after she learns of my connection to Ben."

"There's no telling. She handled Cat pretty well. In fact, they are good friends."

"I know. I just spent a week with Cat."

"Now there's a special woman."

Becka laughed. "She told me a lot about you, too."

"She did? What?"

"I'm not the one to be a bearer of tales, but she said quite a few things about you."

"I guess I'll have to give her a call and find out what kind of lies she's spreading about me."

"Oh, I certainly hope they aren't lies." Becka grinned at the wry expression on TJ's face.

Shortly thereafter they finished their coffees and TJ reluctantly drove Becka to Ben's apartment. "Hey, I recognize this area. I dropped Cat off here after our get together on Christmas Day. No wonder she was in such a hurry to get rid of me."

Becka chuckled. "She said that she could see Ben coming down the street and the only thing she could think to do was kiss you."

TJ ran a hand across his lips. "That was some kiss."

Becka watched TJ's hand stroke his lips and felt a curling heat settle into the depths of her belly. Too bad this man was Phil's brother. If he was any other man, she might have considered getting to know him better. But Phil's brother? No way.

TJ watched Becka enter the dilapidated building feeling a pang of regret. Why did she have to be Ben's sister? No way would he even contemplate a relationship with someone who was sure to remind Phil of what she had lost. As much as he might hope that Phil and Ben might get back together, he was a realist. There was a lot of pain and hurt between them and whatever they might feel for each other might not be enough to overcome it. He shrugged his shoulders and pulled the Pathfinder away from the curb. Why did love have to be so hard?

* * *

Phil's mind slowly came back to the present. Her trip into the past only filled her with nostalgia and a nameless longing. Why did Ben's memory have to overshadow her life? Couldn't she get along without him?

Phil glanced back up at the wall of photos focusing on the one of Ben. Martin had noticed its addition the next time he stopped by but had refrained from commenting on it. Shortly after that, Phil had added Martin's photo to the wall. Still Ben's image was the one with the Siren call. Why couldn't she forget him? Why did his memories still haunt her? Would she never be free of him?

Returning to her salad, she ate it quickly and cleaned the dishes, placing them in the dishwasher. She wandered into the living room finally settling at the piano. Her fingers gently caressed the ivory keys before playing the opening strains of Für Elise. Its haunting melody seemed somehow appropriate. Beethoven segued into Chopin and, in turn, segued into Sarah McLachlan. The evening passed and before Phil realized it was nearing midnight. Pushing away from the piano, she stood, stretched, and headed to bed.

"Cat arranged the seminar, Benny. It's not like I planned to meet him." Becka stared up at the ceiling visible in the light from the street.

"You know how things are between us."

"Yes, I do and I think it's stupid. We only went out for a silly cup of coffee. It's not like we had a torrid affair!"

Silence reigned for a spate of minutes. "I'm sorry, Becka. It's just..."

"It's just that he reminds you of what you once had."

"Yes."

"Have you thought about contacting her?"

"I can't do that."

Becka rolled over and hung her head over the side of the bed. "Why not?"

"I just can't."

"You can't or you won't."

"I don't expect you to understand, Becka." "Oh, I understand perfectly, Benny. Here you have the chance to make right a wrong you did years ago and you're going to let that stubborn pride of yours keep you from doing it."

"It's not like that at all."

"It's not? Then explain it to me."

"I can't, Becka."

"Then let me explain it to you. You're afraid to admit that you were wrong and, what's more, you're afraid she might forgive you. Benny, if you don't talk to her you will regret it for the rest of your life."

"The last time someone said I'd regret letting a woman go, I ended up with a bullet in my back."

"You should be thankful that Ray stopped you from going with that bitch."

"I am. It's just that I no longer let regrets dictate my actions."

"Then how about your heart?"

"I can't trust it anymore."

Becka sighed and rolled back onto the bed. It would take a lot more talking before her brother would agree to meet with Phil. She could see that her job was cut out for her. "Goodnight, Benny. I love you."

"'Night, Becka."

Becka lay in the semidarkness of the spartan apartment. Her better sense told her to leave well enough alone but her heart told her that something needed to be done. Reaching up, she stroked the wishing stone in the dreamcatcher above the bed wishing for some kind of guidance to help her help her brother. With a sad sigh, she also wished that she could find someone who could overlook her past and love her.

To Be Continued (?)

Copyright February 1999 by Cassandra Hope

1. Nothing Lasts Forever
2. Of Second Chances by Carol Trendall
3. Winter is Cold in America by Carol Trendall
4. Lavender Memories
5. Distractions by Carol Trendall
6. No Aphrodisiac by Carol Trendall
7. Life's Insanity by Carol Trendall
8. Standing on the Edge by Carol Trendall
9. Of Past Regrets and Future Fears by Carol Trendall
10. A Summoning of Things Past
11. Three Parts Dead
12. A Job Well Done
13. Touchstones of Character
14. But For the Night
15. Tangled Webs
16. Suspicions
17. Chasms of the Mind (with Carol Trendall)
18. Outskirts by Carol Trendall