Originally posted to RedSuitsYou in December 2000.
Standard Disclaimer: due South and it's characters belong to Alliance. I just use them for fun. Hopefully they will return to their world unharmed and ready for other people to play with them.
Sitting on the sofa, Francesca watched her cousin
Anna as she lifted her daughter from the carrier. Maria, Mrs. Vecchio
and several other Vecchio relatives surrounded them, cooing over the
newest addition to the rapidly growing family. Her chest tightened, the
tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. When would she know what
it was like? She had thought that she would have had a large family by
now. When she first married, her future looked bright and happy. It quickly
tailspinned into a nightmare. Dreams of a family dissolved. Here she
was over thirty and still not with children of her own. She had to sit
back and watch everyone else. It should have been her holding that baby.
It should have been her turn.
Feeling eyes on her, she tried to cover up the
pain. It was bad enough that she felt jealous of her cousin, but to have
someone catch her feeling this way was embarrassing. Raising her head,
she looked across the room. Dark eyes met blue. Her shame grew. Fraser
had been the one to catch her. The man that she wanted to share her dreams
with saw her desperation. The shame slammed into her like a large wave.
Quickly standing, she made her way out of the den and up the stairs.
Laying on the bed, she stared at the celling, the
tears rolling down her cheeks, leaving the pillow beneath her wet. Her
crying was silent. Francesca wanted to be left alone in her misery. Thank
God, everyone was preoccupied with the baby. No one paid her any attention
when she had rushed from the room. It was fitting. No one ever paid attention
to her. She was poor pathetic Frannie. Who would care if she was even
alive? Would it matter?
A light tapping on the bedroom door brought her
out of her depressed musings. Sitting up, she grasped at the box of tissues
next to the bed, swiping at the tears still on her face. "Yes?" The voice
on the other side of the door scared her to death. "Francesca...may I
come in?" Her heart pounded in abject horror. Fraser?! Why was he coming
up to her room? It was bad enough that he caught her feeling so sorry
for herself, being jealous of her cousin and the baby, but to have him
come in her room and see her wallowing in pity? No way!
"Go away Frase." Her voice sounded tight and muffled
at the same time. He could hear her tears as surely as he could see them.
Tears that were his fault. Tears that could have been ones of joy if
he had the guts enough to say what he felt. Tears that would never have
happened. Everything was his fault.
Resting his forehead against the door, he closed
his eyes. He could walk away. She would eventually come back down to
the den and join in the celebration. She would act like nothing had ever
been wrong, but he knew. He had seen her sorrow as surely as he felt
his own. Having to stand back and watch someone else hold a child. Never
getting to know what it was like. Never experiencing the joy of being
a parent.
Stealing himself, he turned the knob
and pushed the door open, taking a step into the room he silently closed
the door behind him. Francesca turned her back to him, her voice cracking.
"Please...go away." He watched as her shoulders silently shook. Tears
caused by him.
Making his way over to her, he
stood next to the small huddled figure. Laying a hand on her shoulder,
he knelt down, trying to look into her face. Hands reached up and covered
the tear streak face and the crying found a voice. Choked sobs erupted
from her. His voice was soft as a caress. "I am so sorry Francesca."
Reaching out, he pulled her into a tight hug. The sorrow that he
felt finally made it's way to the surface. Tears held back for so long
trickled their way down his cheeks. Small arms wrapped themselves around
him. Two figures huddled together on the floor, holding tightly to one
another, joined in sadness and regret.
Francesca was the first one to break away, fingers
swiping across her eyes. "I'm sorry...I feel so...stupid." She hiccupped.
A small giggle escaped her bringing a small smile from Fraser. "No, I'm
sorry. This is all my fault." She sat back on her heals, giving him a
confused look. "How is it your fault?"
Talking a deep breath, he took her hands in his,
noticing for the first time how small she was compared to him. Running
his fingers over her skin, he frowned. "If I hadn't been so...frightened
of my feelings, if I could have said what I feel...none of this would
have ever happened." Raising his head, he looked her directly in the
eye. Leaning forward, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
At first she was shocked, then the elation took
over the sorrow that had so recently surrounded her like a shroud. This
time they held one another in an impassioned embrace, letting the kiss
deepen. Pulling away from her, he wiped the remaining wetness from her
cheeks. "No more tears Francesca."
Standing he pulled her up, hugging her protectively.
No more tears of sorrow. No more standing back and watching the world
go by. They could begin making their own world together. Their own family.
No more tears of sorrow, only those of joy would be permitted to run
down her cheeks.
Taking Francesca by the hand, they walked down
the stairs and back into the den to stand in a corner of the room. Eyes
followed their movements, noting the clasped hands, the closeness of
the pair. Ray lowered his head and smiled. Staring at the baby, he made
a silent wish. Hoping that the two people that he cared the most about
in his life had finally found what they were looking for.