Author's notes:. This story takes place after CotW and everything happened except the Francesca and her imaculate conception. Ray has returned to Chicago to attempt to reclaim his life again. There is some language and sexual situations that would not be appropriate for younger readers, thus theNC-17 rating. Please read on and I hope you enjoy it.
Please contact me at perrymor@home.net
Feedback! I crave feedback!.
By Amethyst
TELL ME WHY?
Francesca Vecchio pulled
her purse from the second drawer of her desk and straightened her moderately
modest civilian aid blouse, it had been a long day and she was ready
to go home and put her feet up. She glanced over at her brother's desk
behind her and shook her head at the blond detective sitting behind it,
his head down as he scribbled franticly to finish up a report. Her real
brother, Ray Vecchio had come back to claim his old life, after a year
as Armande Lagostini, and had eloped with Stella Kowalski then moved
to open up some bowling place in another state. Francesca sensed that
Ray Kowalski was having a difficult time with it and the fact that he
and Fraser had parted ways, Fraser electing to stay in Canada. A letter
from the Mountie had informed her that Ray couldn't handle the cold and
the isolation, and their adventure to find the reaching hand of Franklin
had been cut terribly short because Ray had caught phenomena and almost
died. Fraser felt responsible and suggested Ray return to Chicago. She
was sure the sacrifice of loosing another friend and partner almost killed
Fraser, but he wanted what was best for Ray and had convinced him to
return.
Unfortunately, returning
to Chicago was probably not the best thing for the usually vibrant detective.
He had lost a lot of weight from his illness and his usually flashing
eyes were dulled and seemed much older. Welsh had accepted him back as
detective with the precinct and everyone had seemed to accept him as
Stanley Kowalski, though Francesca still called him Ray. It seemed to
Francesca the one thing Ray had been afraid of when her brother returned
had come to pass. He was no longer Ray Vecchio, he lost Fraser, most
of his friends from the precinct had moved off to other things and his
ex-wife Stella had also seemed to abandon him.
Now he spent most
of his waking hours working through cases, for once the stack of files
on his desk was at an all time low, but Welsh and Francesca worried he
was pushing himself. He had not yet retrieved a new partner, she suspected
Welsh was reluctant to offer him one, but being a loner seemed to suit
Ray. Finally, Francesca walked over and snatched the pen out of Ray's
hand. He glanced up at her for a minute then reached into his drawer
for another one and continued to write. Francesca grabbed that one away
as well and she watched him sigh.
"That's not buddies,
Frannie." He remarked, staring at his report. "I can't write without
my pen."
"You need to go
home, Ray." She insisted. "Everyone else but the late shift have already
left."
"Don't wanna
go home." He stated, opening his drawer and searching for another pen.
"I wanna finish here." She pulled the file up and closed it, throwing
it in his stack.
"Finish it tomorrow." She ordered. "Go home." Ray leaned back and ran
a hand through his softly spiked hair.
"Okay, Frannie."
He agreed, rising from his desk and pulling his sports coat from the
back of his chair. "I just gotta go to the can and then I'll leave."
She nodded satisfied and threw the pens back on his desk. She turned
and walked away, glancing behind her only once to see that the detective
was indeed headed for the bathroom. Halfway down the stairs, she remembered
her own jacket and she headed back up. She stared, furious, when she
saw that Ray had returned to his desk and was once again bent over the
report. Okay, getting mad wouldn't help, he'll just shrug that off, she
decided to torment him, and it had worked in the past. She stalked over,
noticing that he glanced up and hid his hand that held the pen under
his desk so she couldn't get it from him. She hopped up on the desk and
in her best seductive pose stretched across it and covered the annoying
file with her body.
"All work and no play
makes Stanley a dull boy." She remarked sweetly.
"You wanna play
with me, Francesca?" he asked quite seriously, startling her.
"I..I just meant..."
she sighed. "Ray, you should give yourself a break. If you don't want
to go home, go to a movie or get something to eat, but don't stay here
working yourself to death."
"I'm fine, Frannie."
He assured quietly, his fingers moving to pull the file from under her,
but she leaned forward preventing it, indirectly giving him a better
view of her cleavage and a whiff of her perfume. He stared at her, his
fingers that had reached for the file now brushed up against her waist.
He snatched them away and looked down.
"What's wrong, are
you having problems?" she asked gently. "Ya can talk to me ya know, I'm
a good listener, even though most people think I talk to much, but I
can stop when I have to and we're practically related I mean yer like
a brother ta me and...."
"Frannie..." Ray
warned, rubbing his knuckles against his suddenly throbbing temple. "Yer
givin' me a headache, please hush." Francesca shut her mouth with a snap
and averted her eyes. She was just trying to help. "I like it better
when yer tellin' me to piss off."
"I have never told
you to piss off, Ray." She stated indignantly. "Just because we fought
sometimes doesn't mean I don't care about you." Ray glanced up at her
sharply, then looked away again.
"I'll go home."
He allowed reluctantly, standing and heading for the door, leaving her
sitting on the desk. She jumped down and grabbed her jacket as she passed
her desk, shrugging into it while her heels clicked against the floor
as she hurried after him. She caught him in the department parking
lot, about to unlock his car.
"You can come home
with me." She suddenly suggested, not wanting him to be alone for some
reason. Ma, Marie and the kids are all at grandma's for the weekend and
I've got a great big batch of gazpacho made up and even some movies rented
to watch and we could ya know drip out and relax..."
"Hang out, Frannie."
"Hang, drip, drape,
whatever." She dismissed barely missing a beat as she continued to talk.
"I'm not really looking forward to spending the whole weekend alone I
can tell ya but I couldn't go because I had to work and besides even
though I love her, Grandma Marie always smells like fried fish and Ben
Gay and that just doesn't hold it fer me."
"Do it fer ya, Frannie."
He corrected, noticing his headache was steadily getting worse. He didn't
think he could handle much more of her endless prattle, though he had
been surprised and a little pleased by her invitation. Francesca noticed
the increased pressure his knuckles were extending against his forehead
and she slipped closer to stand behind him. Immediately she began to
message his temples and he sighed at the relief. Yah, she talked too
much, but Francesca Vecchio had magic fingers.
"I promise not to
talk too much, Ray." She agreed quietly and he immediately regretted
his earlier thoughts, she couldn't help being what she was and he didn't
really want to be alone tonight either.
"Okay, Frannie."
He replied finally, unlocking his car. "Com'ahn, but let's just grab
a pizza or somethin' easy to eat." Francesca nodded and quickly headed
for her own vehicle before he changed his mind.
Ray followed her
over to her house and parked his GTO on the street just down from the
driveway that Francesca pulled into. He pulled the pizza box from the
passenger side of the car and jogged up the steps of the large two-story
home. The Vecchio's had been lucky that their insurance on the house
their father had left to Ray had paid for a new home for the close knit
family. Although this home was also in her brother's name, simply because
he was still considered the head of the family as the oldest male, it
was also half in Francesca's name should something happen to Ray Vecchio.
Kowalski had been forced to forge Vecchio's signature when the original
home burned, because Vecchio had still been undercover, but it had gotten
straightened out when he returned. Kowalski had put Francesca's name
on the title deed as well, much to her brother's chagrin, but he never
disputed it, luckily since he married and left the state, which entitled
the remaining Vecchio's to stay in the house.
Inside the home it was unusually quiet, Ray supposed that was because
the others were not there, but it was still strange not to be greeted
by the noise and commotion that usually accompanied the family. He had
not been by to see the Vecchio's since his return from Canada, no longer
feeling comfortable with the farce since Vecchio, the prodigal son, had
returned. Francesca invited him on a regular basis, insisting Maria and
her mother wanted to see him, but he continued to avoid it.
Now he was almost sad
that he had, with the house so quiet, he missed Ma Vecchio's routine
entrance from the kitchen, with her warm, plump arms open wide to receive
him and give him a big hug and a kiss. Marie's kids had always flocked
to him next, clinging to his legs and pulling at his shirt until he picked
each of them up to receive another hug and a babbling description of
all the things that had happened to them that day. Maria would take the
children with a smile, offer him a kiss, remark he was getting better
looking every day, as Tony would occasionally wave from his recliner
in the living room. Of course Fraser was almost always with him when
he stopped in and they flocked to him as well, which delighted the Mountie
to no end. Then, Ma Vecchio would hustle them both into the kitchen,
complaining Ray had no meat on his bones and required fattening up.
"Ray?" Francesca asked
quietly, noticing the detective's hesitation in the hallway. He glanced
at her, as though seeing her for the first time, then slowly came back
to wherever it was she suspected he had drifted off to.
"Sorry, he offered sheepishly
as she took the pizza from him and brought it into the living room. Ray
automatically retrieved a couple of sodas from the fridge and joined
her as she glanced through her small stack of videotapes, while he dropped
into the comfortable recliner.
"I've got four to choose
from." She was explaining holding them up for his inspection. "You pick
one to watch then I'll pick the next one." She dropped them lightly in
his lap and he almost dropped his soda trying to catch them all. "I'll
get us some plates for our pizza right after I change." Ray glanced up,
worried for a moment what she was going to change into.
"C..change?" he repeated
nervously, he still had hidden feelings for Francesca, and maybe coming
here wasn't such a good idea after all. "I..into what?"
"Something more comfortable."
She shrugged and headed out. Ray silently prayed whatever her new ensemble
was it wouldn't reveal any more than her tight pants and sheer gray blouse
that she had worn to work. She rarely stuck to the civilian aid uniform
and Welsh had given up trying to convince her, she did her own thing.
Ray settled back in the recliner and read the backs of the movies, awaiting
her return. He was both relieved and disappointed that she now sported
a pair of blue stretch pants and an oversized T-shirt that hung almost
to her knees. She settled on the sofa, offered him one of the two plates
she held, and helped herself to a piece of pizza.
"Did'ya decide what to
watch?" she asked politely and Ray handed her the two he had chosen.
"Either of those will
do, I haven't seen 'em." He explained getting his own slice of pizza.
Francesca glanced over the action and drama selection. She was only mildly
surprised that he had picked a drama, rather than the other action film,
but she decided against commenting on it. She decided to put in the action
one first, figuring he would enjoy that one more.
They ended up watching
both movies, taking a break in between to clean up their food leftovers
and go to the bathroom. Ray had seemed to enjoy both the action and drama,
and Francesca was reluctant to have the evening end. It was the weekend
and neither of them had to work so she decided to ask Ray to stay and
watch the remaining movies. Ray, seemingly not even close to tired yet,
agreed, so Francesca made some popcorn, got two more sodas and settled
back on the sofa. She was surprised when Ray moved from the recliner
to stretch out beside her, though she suspected it was more to be closer
to the popcorn than she was specifically. Still she wouldn't complain
and she would probably be glad he was there once the movie got going.
Bride of Chucky was one she had picked up on a whim and was having second
thoughts about, she was never good with horror movies.
Somehow, at some point
during the movie, Francesca had removed the large crystal bowl of popcorn
that separated them and moved closer to Ray, hiding her face in his shoulder
at some of the more gruesome scenes..
"How can you watch that?"
she demanded, disgusted, but at the same time enthralled by what the
possessed doll was doing to his next victim. "That is so gross. You can't
even go to the morgue hardly at the department."
"That's different." Replied
Ray, his eyes never moving from the screen as he palmed a handful of
popcorn into his mouth from the bowl he had pulled into his lap. "This
isn't real so it doesn't bother me."
"It bothers me!" declared
Francesca, again placing her face against Ray's neck and only half hiding
her eyes with her hand.
"Then don't watch." Refereed
Ray with a grin.
"I can't help it!" she
exclaimed grimacing. "It's like one of them thingamagigs..like when you
see somethin' totally weird and gross but you half ta look."
"Compelling." Supplied
Ray and she nodded, peeking through her fingers, glad the scene no longer
held the sight of blood and guts. She was actually only partially grossed
out by the movie, she was in truth enjoying being this close to the detective.
He smelled wonderful and his deceptively soft hair caressed her cheek
when she lay her face at his neck. Ray made no move to stop her cuddling,
perhaps he felt sorry for her, or maybe he was getting a kick out of
her fear, whatever the reason Francesca was glad when he moved his arm
to fold around her shoulders and drew her to him protectively.
"I won't let Chucky get
ya, Frannie." He assured amused. "Me and yer squad of Barbie's upstairs
will protect ya." Francesca sat back surprised.
"How did you know...."
However did Ray know about her collection of Barbie dolls that she kept
on a special shelf in her room, he had never been in there.
"Maria told me." He replied
calmly. Francesca grumbled something about being an only child and snuggled
back into Ray, this time she leaned against his chest. This was nice,
she wondered if Ray was having any feelings about her being in his arms.
He seemed comfortable enough, as though it didn't seem to phase him,
but still she wondered. Elaine had told her he had been hesitant to work
with her in the beginning because he liked her so much, but now
she wondered if he had decided he didn't like her that way anymore. Deciding
to test her theory she leaned up and pressed her lips to his in a quick
kiss. He glanced down at her surprised and she grinned innocently.
"What?" she asked.
"What was that fer?"
"What
was what fer?" she repeated coyly.
"Why'd ya kiss me Frannie?"
"Didn't ya like it?"
"That's not the point, why did you do it?' he demanded. She shrugged.
"You looked like you could
use one." She teased and was startled when he suddenly moved away from
her and stood up. "Where are you going?"
"It's late." He muttered,
retrieving his jacket from the back of the recliner. "I should go." She
caught up to him at the door and placed a hand on his arm.
"Don't go, Ray." She requested.
"Ma and everybody will be gone all weekend and...I..I don't want to be
alone. Ya can sleep in the guest room and we could go to breakfast tomorrow
morning, or I'll make something here special, just for you."
"Good night Frannie."
Ray replied opening the door, as though he hadn't heard a word she said.
She grabbed hold of him and kept him from leaving.
"Please stay." She pleaded.
"I really don't want to be here by myself." Ray sighed and closed the
door, he couldn't leave knowing she was afraid to be alone in the large
house. In a way he could understand it, there was almost always someone
here with her.
"Show me where I can sleep
then." He grumbled. "I'm tired." She nodded and practically skipped up
stairs in relief. She guided him to the bedroom next to hers.
"Sheets are clean and
I think Tony has something you can wear to bed that I can get." Ray shook
his head, doubting anything the larger man had would fit him.
"I won't need anything." He replied, throwing his jacket over a chair
and sitting on the bed to pull off his boots and socks. He stripped off
his holsters and guns and placed them on the bedside table, then glanced
back at where she still stood by the door. "Ya gonna watch?"
"Can I?" she taunted,
surprised when he simply shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head,
revealing a smooth, lean chest and a bare shoulder sporting a colorful
tattoo. Francesca strained to identify it, but he had turned away and
was unbuttoning his jeans. He pulled them down, revealing a simple pair
of white jockey shorts, then pulled the sheets back on the bed and climbed
inside. Francesca waited until he was covered to approach, reaching a
finger out to trace the Champion Sparkplug on his shoulder.
"Like it?" he asked her,
raising his other arm up to cushion his head.
"It's nice." She admitted.
"I never knew you had a tattoo." He shrugged again.
"Lots a things you don't
know about me, Frannie." He returned calmly and she smiled.
"I have one, a small
one. Wanna see?"
"Sure." He replied easily,
until she moved to pull her shirt up and the waist of her pants down.
He stilled her hands with his own. "Uh...exactly where is this tattoo,
sis?" he used the old referral as a reminder of what was appropriate,
whether he was her blood brother or not and she chuckled.
"It's okay." She assured.
"I showed Fraser, I'm sure I can show you." Ray raised an eyebrow as
she exposed the pale flesh just above her hip, to reveal a small single
orchid. Ray traced it with his fingertip, as she had done with his, then
nodded his approval.
"It's pretty." He told
her as she pulled her clothes together again. "It suits ya. Rare and
exotic." Francesca blushed a bright pink and laughed delighted.
"Thanks, Ray." She accepted
graciously as she sat next to him. "Want me to tuck ya in and read you
a story?" Ray grinned, wondering why she was in such a playful mood tonight.
"I think I'll be okay."
He conceded and she pouted.
"Are you sure?" she pressed
and he nodded. She pushed a dark tendril of hair back over her ear. "Thanks
fer stayin' Ray. I know it's silly to be scared but..."
"It's okay." He assured
quickly. "I'm goin' to sleep, why don't you get to bed too?"
"Can I sleep in here with
you?" she asked smiling. "Ya know, in case the monsters in my closet
decide to try and eat me later."
"What are you doin' Francesca?"
Ray asked quietly, suddenly serious. She shook her head startled by his
use of her full name.
"Nothing, Ray I..."
"If I didn't know better I'd think ya were tryin' ta seduce me, Frannie."
He insisted without malice or accusation. " Either 'dat or yer bein'
a tease, but ya wouldn't be doin' dat, would ya, so I must be gettin'
my signals crossed. Why don't ya just tell me what yer tryin' to do here
so dere's no misunderstandin'."
"W..what if that is what I'm trying to do, Ray?" she asked shyly. "Would
ya be mad?" He shook his head.
"No I wouldn't be mad,
Frannie." He replied. "Just confused. Ya never seemed to like me dat
way, an' I know we had to pretend ta be brother and sister fer awhile,
but I think I woulda noticed if you did have those kinda feelin's fer
me." She averted her eyes. "You were always after Fraser, so what's da
deal? Big Red's gone home so ya gotta settle for whatever's closest?"
"No, Ray." She denied.
"It's not like that." She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just lonely
or maybe I'm finally realizing how I feel about ya. I know I was blind
to everyone while Fraser was here, I was infatuated with him I couldn't
help it, but I did..notice ya before, Ray."
"So what do'ya want then,
Frannie?" he asked curious. "Ya wanna sleep together? Have sex? Get married?
What?" His bluntness embarrassed and surprised her, but she didn't let
it phase her, which is what she was sure he had meant to do. To scare
her away from getting too close like she saw him do with other women.
"Okay." She agreed.
"Okay what?" he questioned warily.
"Okay to all the above."
Ray stared at her long and hard, then turned his back to her.
"G'nite Frannie." He muttered
firmly. Francesca sighed, started to move from the bed, then on impulse
climbed under the covers and snuggled up against him, feeling him tense
at her touch.
"Ya used ta like me, Ray."
She accused. "What happened?"
"I still like ya Frannie."
He acknowledged, not even attempting to turn into or away from her embrace.
"Dat ain't the point."
"Then what is the point,
Ray?" she demanded, wrapping her arms around him, one under his neck
the other across his chest. "Ya like me and I like you." She placed gentle
kissed along his neck and shoulders. "Why can't we enjoy our mural like
for one another?" Ray smiled.
"Ya mean mutual?"
"Whatever." She sighed,
continuing to caress his shoulders with her lips. "Why can't we? Don't
ya find me attractive?"
"Yer sexy as hell and
ya know it, Francesca." He growled and felt her lips widen against him
in a smug smile. "But...
"Don't ya wanna make love
ta me, Ray?" He groaned in defeat.
"Yah, but...."
"Then lets follow our
hearts." She pushed at his shoulders and rolled him onto his back to
cover his chest with warm kisses. She could both feel and hear his heart
rate increase beneath her. Ray groaned and cupped her face in his hands,
pulling her up to meet his lips. He kissed her tenderly, hesitantly,
until she opened her mouth against him and invited his tongue inside.
The kiss grew more urgent and soon they were both gasping for breath,
each learning the precise contours of the other's mouth.
"W...we gotta stop, Frannie."
Ray managed pushing away from her and sitting up against the headboard
to run a shaky hand through his hair. Francesca didn't want to stop,
so she swung a leg over and straddled him, wrapping her hands around
his neck. She could feel his arousal against the juncture of her own
thighs and wiggled against him, pulling a low growl from his throat.
"I don't wanna stop, Ray."
She insisted pressing her lips to his again, sucking his tongue into
her warm, moist mouth and sending shivers of desire through him. He bucked
against her, stressing his need, as his hands found their way inside
her shirt to cup firm naked breasts. He groaned at the contact and she
arched against him with a sigh of pleasure, before pulling the shirt
over her head and tossing it to the floor. Ray stared at her with blatant
desire, as he tenderly caressed the mounds of flesh beneath his hands.
"God! Yer beautiful, Frannie."
He whispered, tracing a delicate path of kisses along her neck and collarbone.
"So beautiful." Francesca shivered, either from his soft touch or the
tender words coming from him she didn't know, but when he gently rolled
her onto her back she thought she was in heaven. He kissed her forehead,
her nose, her cheeks, her eyelids, her chin, then finally a sensual kiss
on her lips. Then he moved lower, along her jawbone, neck, across her
bare shoulders, down one arm to her fingertips, drawing each individual
finger inside his mouth for a few delicious seconds, then did the same
with her other arm. He moved back along her collarbone and down over
her breasts. He didn't suckle them as most men would have, just placed
little treasured butterfly kisses over them, then down along her ribcage,
stomach and navel. He paused at the waistband of her pants and she impatiently
moved to pull them off. Once done, Ray continued his homage to her now
quivering body. Francesca had never felt so loved and desired, most of
her experiences were wham bam thank you ma'am, but Ray seemed intent
on going slow. She expected him to be like a demon in bed, since he always
had that extra energy bouncing around him, but he was almost painful
deliberate in his task and he had her panting in only moments.
"Please, Ray?" She whimpered
as his kisses trailed the lace bindings of her
underwear. He moved back up over her and claimed her mouth
once more, kissing her with such gentleness that Francesca felt
like crying. No one had ever been this delicate with her, this thorough,
and she was amazed to have her body respond in ways she never knew existed.
She wanted to touch him in the same way, return the favor and lavish
his body as he had hers, but when she tried he held her hands away from
him, content to press his warm body to hers, to devour her mouth with
his own.
"Just kiss me Frannie."
he demanded softly against her lips and so she did, though she wanted
much more than to just kiss him, she put her all into it and felt drugged
and dazed when he finally pulled away. He gazed down at her, his steel
blue eyes glittering with desire, his mouth slightly swollen from their
kisses. "Do ya have anything, Frannie?" She nodded and reached to pull
her pants from the floor and retrieve a foil packet from her pocket.
"I thought men always
came prepared?" she teased as he took the packet from her and placed
it on the pillow beside them.
"It's been a long
time." He admitted nibbling her neck and allowing his hand to roam down
toward the valley of her legs. "I didn't figure I would be needing one
anytime soon." Francesca frowned, how long had it been for him, and why
wouldn't he think he might get lucky? He was an attractive eligible man,
lots of women would be willing to go to bed with him, and he certainly
seemed to go after enough of them. Something caused her to consider that
last thought. Yah, Kowalski made no secret that he was a skirt chaser,
but when had she ever seen him catch one? He never even dated to her
knowledge, what was he waiting for?
Her hypothesis of
his behavior took a nosedive as she felt his fingers slip inside her
and she bucked against him with a moan. Such wonderfully long fingers
he had, she thought, biting her lip against the powerful stirrings he
was creating within her. If he didn't make love to her soon, she was
sure she would come apart at the seams. She grabbed the condom from the
pillow and ripped it open with her teeth, offering it to him pointedly
and he chuckled. She hadn't even seen him yet, the covers still covered
the parts of him she most wanted to explore and he still had his shorts
on. He moved off of her to pull off his underwear and prepared himself.
He barely had the condom secured when she rolled atop of him with a frustrated
growl, he was deliberately teasing her by taking his time, and
she straddled him again, taking him inside her with a quick lowering
thrust. She heard him gasp, his fingers gripping her hips as she rode
him furiously, making up for lost time. Slow and steady may win the race
but Francesca was determined to beat the clock on this particular adventure.
"Oh God!" she heard him
cry out as he matched her rhythm with his usual frenetic energy.
She gazed down over him, reveling in the way his mouth opened and closed
in spasms of passion and his eyes locking with hers in an intense moment
of sharing. She loved him! She just knew it, could feel it rising within
her. No one had ever made her feel this way. Ray reached up at brought
her down to capture her mouth once more, just moments before they climaxed
together. He continued to kiss her, sweet, exotic kisses that left her
breathless still, until they finally had to part out of good sense.
Ray disposed of the condom and accepted a moist towel that Francesca
had retrieved from the bathroom to wipe off with. He reached for his
shorts, still managing to hide himself within the folds of the sheets,
but Francesca pulled him back against her and cuddled against him. They
were both still breathing raggedly and a soft sheen of sweat glistened
on their bodies. She moved her hand under the sheet and wrapped it around
his softening organ, reveling in the feel of it and he pulled her into
his embrace, kissing her gently. They lay there for long moments, catching
their breath, Francesca had expected him to drift off to sleep as most
men did, but he continued to watch her with a lazy gaze and play with
her hair.
"That was nice."
She sighed, then condemned her own words. Hell, it was the best sex she
had ever had and she said it was just nice? Ray didn't seem to mind,
for he offered her one of his best smiles and continued his feather light
caresses, under the sheets along her body. He wasn't touching her erotically
now, just tenderly, like a type of after-sex petting that she found sweetly
sincere and gentle.
"Yer beautiful Frannie."
He whispered and she blushed and pressed her cheek against his chest.
"I believe you've
said that." She teased and she felt him shrug.
"You are though."
He insisted, perhaps thinking she didn't believe him. "I never....most
women like you don't...well, they don't go fer guys like me." Frannie
raised her head to look at him, remembering what her brother had told
her about going after Fraser. Guys like him didn't go for girls like
her. Did Ray think she was better than he was?
"Guys like you?"
she repeated puzzled. "There's nothin' wrong with you, Ray. "Yer wonderful."
He shrugged off her compliment and she tried to quell her rising anger.
Why didn't Ray think more of himself? Why did he seem to have such a
low self-esteem. Francesca knew she could probably blame it on Stella
for breaking his heart, but that couldn't be the only reason. He needed
to understand how wonderful he had made her feel and since she was never
very eloquent with language, she decided to show him. She pulled the
sheet up over her head and slipped beneath the covers.
"Frannie!" He exclaimed
surprised, and immediately reaching down for her. She slapped his hands
away and set about lavishing his body the way he had done hers. "Oh God,
Frannie." His voice had become a whisper. "Ya don't have ta..." Coherent
thought left him as she kissed and licked her way down over his
stomach and thighs. She placed deliberate kisses close to his most intimate
area, then took him into her mouth. He bucked against the hot wet sensation
that now covered him, then fought to control his response, after all
he didn't want to choke her because he couldn't contain himself much
better than a teenager with her doing that to him.
"Like it, Ray?"
She asked, raising her mouth from him just long enough to throw the covers
back and smile at him. He met her gaze with a hunger she had only hoped
for and nodded.
"Y..Yah, Frannie."
He sighed. "I like it." She smiled again and continued with what she
was doing. "..so good." She heard him moan from above. "Please Frannie
...j....just like that..YES!" Francesca swallowed as he came in her mouth,
then kissed him lightly once more for good measure and moved back up
to cuddle with him. His eyes were closed, his incredibly long lashes
splaying across his flushed cheeks as his chest rose and fell in an effort
to regain a controlled rhythm of breathing.
"Now aren't ya glad
ya stayed?" she teased him, running a long fingernail across his chest.
He could only nod, the he surprised her by rolling onto his side and
urging her to do the same, with her back to him. He curled an arm around
her waist and pulled her into the cradle of his body so they lay spoon
fashioned under the sheets.
"We need talk, Frannie."
He murmured drowsily, sleep finally catching up with him. "Tomorrow though.
We'll talk." She tensed, immediately on alert for what he might have
to say to her, what they would talk about and if it was a good talk or
a bad talk. He pulled her tighter against him and nuzzled her neck
in a way that told her not to worry. She sighed and closed her eyes,
it would be okay.
Francesca awoke,
feeling better than she could ever remember feeling and stretched lazily
in the large bed, then realized that Ray was no longer beside her./ She
frowned, surely she hadn't dreamed it? No, she was in the gust room,
her clothes were still on the floor, yet Ray's were missing. She bolted
upright and threw the covers back, quickly getting dressed as she ran
a hand through her tangled air, then hurried downstairs. Surely he wouldn't
have left without even saying good-bye.
She paused in the
hallway, as she heard voices coming from the kitchen, it was her mother!
What was she doing back? Where were Marie and the kids and had she walked
in before Ray left their bed or after? She heard Ray speaking again.
"Sure I miss Fraser."
He was responding to Ma. Vecchio's question. "But he did what he had
ta do. Besides, now I'm just me working as myself an it ain't so bad."
"You have not been
by to visit in so long I had thought you had forgotten us." Scolded the
older woman.
"I..I've been busy
that's all." Francesca knew Ray was suffering for lying to her Mother,
she understood he cared almost as much about her as he did his real mother.
"You have been avoiding
us." Insisted Ma. Vecchio. "You do not think that we wish to see you
now that Raymondo has returned but you are wrong." Before Ray could deny
her charge, she continued. "We love you as well Stanley, you hurt us
by thinking that would change because my son had come home." Francesca
bowed her head, knowing she shouldn't be eavesdropping but unable to
help it, Ma would get things out or Ray no one else could.
"I..I never meant..."
Ray protested quickly. "I would never...Mrs. V, you know I care about
all of you, but I was just pretending to be yer son fer a short while.
I'm not really any blood relation and I don't expect... I ain't havin'
ta pretend any more and neither should you." Francesca winced, knowing
Ray wasn't meaning to be hurtful, he just didn't understand the way the
Vecchio's worked. Once they latch on to someone, they're part of the
family for keeps.
"I am
not your Mother, Stanley." Ma Vecchio sniffed. "But if I were I would
lay you over my knee for such a comment. How you could think that the
love and affection we offered you was a pretense?" Sensing the woman's
anger Ray tried to explain.
"I never meant that!"
he exclaimed frustrated, then lowered his voice, ashamed. "I..I'm sorry.
I don't mean to shout. Please, Mrs. V, I'm not sayin' I don't appreciate
yer feelin's fer me, I..I just don't quite understand them. I took yer
son's place while he went off fightin' the mob, I was a constant
reminder of the danger he was in and the fact that he was missin' from
yer lives. I woulda resented me in yer place, I just..I never figured
out why you didn't."
"Someone had to do it,
Stanley." Pressed Mrs. Vecchio wisely. "Your presence was here to protect
my son and we were grateful for that, As for why we like you, you are
a charming and sweet man, who would not be taken with you?"
"If you say so,
ma'am." Ray replied, wisely deciding it was silly to argue with her.
"I am glad you stayed
here with Francesca." She commented, changing the subject suddenly. "She
does not like to be here alone, the house is big and makes noises at
night. I am sure she felt safe with you here."
"Yah," Ray muttered.
"I'm sure she did."
"Do you not still
like my Francesca?" Asked Ma. Vecchio." I know that sometimes she talks
too fast and to often and I have seen you get frustrated with her, but
she is a good girl really."
"I know." Ray admitted
and Frannie smiled pleased. " She deserves to find a nice guy who will
spoil her and protect her." Francesca was mildly surprised at his comment,
but a nagging feeling that Ray was hoping someone else would take that
role.
"You are nice, Stanley."
Pressed Mrs. Vecchio. "I know you would protect my Francesca." Francesca
heard Ray choke on what was most likely his coffee. "Then you could get
married and truly be a part of the family." Francesca decided to finally
rescue the poor detective. When she walked into the kitchen in time to
hear a very red faced Kowalski say.
"I won't be marryin'
anyone again, Ma." He stated firmly, having not yet noticed Francesca.
"I went that route once and so did Frannie, I doubt she'd be willin'
to take up the torch again either."
"Ma!" Francesca
exclaimed as though having just discovered them. "What are you doing
home?"
"I asked your cousin
Charlie to drive me back an let Maria an the family stay." Explained
Mrs. Vecchio, moving to kiss her daughter hello. "I was worried about
you being here alone, but when I arrive I saw that Stanley was already
here with you and I worried for nothing. It is nice that he stayed, but
really, Francesca..he could have used the guest room-that sofa is too
uncomfortable." Francesca exchanged a puzzled glance with Ray, who's
gaze more or less told her to go with the flow.
"Well, it was late
and we weren't thinkin' right, I guess." She muttered. Mrs. Vecchio patted
her cheek then mentioned she needed to go to unpack, since Ray had already
brought her bags up to her room. Francesca waited until she was gone
then turned a grateful smile on Ray. "Thanks fer protectin' my honor,
though I think Ma woulda been tickled to find us in bed together." Ray
didn't comment as he rose and placed his empty cup in the sink.
"I'm just glad I
woke up before she got here and was already downstairs." He finally said,
moving away from the sink and heading for the living area to retrieve
his jacket. Francesca approached him from behind and wrapped her arms
around him, snuggling into his back.
"Since Ma is back,
wanna go to yer place for tonight?" she suggested with a purr. At first
Ray didn't move or speak, then he pulled away from her and shrugged into
his jacket. After a long moment he turned to face her.
"Listen, Frannie."
he began and Francesca immediately began to worry from the tone of his
voice. "Last night was good..well, great really, but it shouldn't have
happened." He winced at the stricken look that stressed her beautiful
face. "I ain't regrettin' it, just...you deserve someone who ain't...damaged
goods."
"Yer not..."
she started to protest but he waved her away and headed for the door.
He didn't want to get into this right now.
"Stella screwed
me up worse than I thought, Frannie." He told her his hand on the door,
his back to her. "I got nothin' to offer..." Francesca grabbed him and
turned him to face her, pressing her lips to his in a desperate kiss.
Ray started to pull away but she wrapped her arms around his neck and
pressed against him, daring him to deny her after what they had shared.
She felt his body respond to her almost instantly, his arousal pushing
against her thigh, and she shivered at the idea she could cause such
an effect. She slipped her tongue inside his mouth, willing him to kiss
her back an he did, with a defeated moan, as his arms came around her
and almost lifted her off hr feet to give him better access to her wonderfully
moist mouth. Finally the need for air drove them apart.
"Seems to me what
you have to offer is pretty damn good, Ray." She taunted, her tongue
darting out to moisten her slightly swollen lips. "Now, what time shall
I be at yer place?' Francesca sensed his hesitation still, despite the
passion he had just shown. Finally he shook his head and opened the front
door.
"I'll see
ya Monday at work, Frannie." He said stepping outside and heading for
the GTO. Francesca called after him but he turned a deaf ear to her,
as he quickly unlocked his vehicle and slid inside. He didn't look back
at her as he pulled out of the driveway, knowing if he did he would not
be able to leave, and so he didn't see the tears that stained her beautiful
face.
Ray placed the last
of his paperwork on Welsh's desk and headed back to his own desk to retrieve
his coat. He was actually leaving early today, he had promised his Mother
he would come by for dinner and for once he hadn't made up an excuse
not to go. Guilt got the best of him sometimes and avoiding his Mother,
a woman he loved dearly, played on his heart. It wasn't her he was avoiding
per say, just the constant string of questions that seemed to come with
every visit. What are you doing with your life? Are you dating anyone?
What about grandchildren? Are you taking care not to get in too much
danger? Are you eating properly?
He hadn't really
spoken to Francesca in almost two weeks, he wasn't avoiding her either,
just keeping strictly to work related issues. She was distant from him
and sometimes irritable, but he understood that, he had hurt her and
he deserved her rage. He shook his head clear of such depressing thoughts
and propped a toothpick into his mouth as he shrugged into his jacket,
then headed out, careful to keep his eyes straight ahead as he passed
Francesca's desk.
"Ray?' the hesitant voice called and made him pause. He dropped his head,
not wanting to turn back but compelled to do so. He forced a nonchalant
grin to his lips and turned to face her.
"Yah, Frannie?"
he inquired calmly. Damn she looked good today, even in her civilian
aid uniform, though he could tell that under the makeup she wore she
had traces of dark circles under her eyes, was she having trouble sleeping?
Immediately his concern peaked he approached the desk. "What is it, Frannie?"
She sniffed and he realized she was trying to hold back a flood of tears.
She looked so fragile and scared, he went down on one knee beside her
and took her hand in his. "What is it, baby?"
"M..Ma." she managed
as a single tear slipped out. "S...she...Oh Ray!" Her face crumbled and
he folded her in his arms.
"Oh Christ!" He
whispered against her hair. "I'm sorry, Frannie. Tell me what you need
me to do, sweetheart, anything just tell me and I'll do it." Frannie
sniffed again and brushed away her tears as she straightened.
"I..I can't go home
yet, I'm too upset." She wiped her cheeks again. "C..Can we go somewhere
and talk, please?" Ray nodded and rose, pulling her with him. He helped
her on with her jacket and handed her her purse than escorted her out.
He settled her in the GTO, then rounded to the driver's side and slid
behind the wheel. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his parent's
number, as he started the car and pulled out of the department lot. He
quickly explained that an emergency came up an he had to take a rain
check on dinner, he then promised he would be there the following Sunday
for sure. He listened to his Mother's concerns briefly, then finally
managed to get off the phone with her.
"Where do ya wanna
go?" he asked Francesca quietly. "There's a Chinese..."
"Your place, Ray."
She requested, and immediately sensed his hesitation. "I don't want people
staring at me when I'm like this okay?" He sighed and nodded. He couldn't
blame her for that, though he suddenly tried to remember what kind of
shape his apartment was in presently.
Luckily his place
was reasonably neat for a change, only an odd sock and an unfolded newspaper
laying around on the table. He shoved them both into a corner and settled
her on the sofa, then retrieved a can of soda for her and one for himself.
He sat on the sofa next to her and waited for her to explain. She sipped
her soda quietly, glancing around his apartment curiously, having never
been there before. Finally she began.
"They found a lump
in Ma's breast." Ray held his breath. "They don't know if it's benign
or not and they have to do a lumpectomy to see. Ma is okay about it but
the rest of us are scared to death." She gave him a pleading look. "What
if it's cancer, Ray? What if it spreads?"
"You just
have to think positive Frannie." He pressed supportively. "Has yer brother
been told?"
"He wanted to fly
in on the first plane but Ma said no, he was to wait until they knew
if there was even something to worry about, but you know Ray, he'll probably
show up soon anyway." Kowalski nodded and she stared at him. "Will you
come home with me? Ma wants to see ya."
"Of course." Ray
returned without prior thought of what he was saying. "Did you want to
go now or...?"
"Later."
She protested leaning into him. "Right now I just...I just want ya to
hold me, Ray." Ray nodded and pulled her into his embrace. How could
he deny her? His feelings for her had been growing the past two weeks
since they had made love and though she had not pushed him about it.
He suspected she wanted a relationship with him, but Ray had lost most
of the people he had ever cared about by letting them get to close. He
just couldn't take that chance again with Francesca. But he would be
here for her during Ma Vecchio's illness.
He rocked her quietly, listening to her soft sobs, until finally he realized
she was asleep. Carefully he pulled her up in his arms and stood, bringing
her into the bedroom, at least he could offer her a few hours sleep,
and it looked like she needed them. He lay her gently on the bed, removed
her shoes and pulled the quilt over her sleeping form.
Francesca glanced
over at Ray, who was speaking quietly to Welsh about a case, as she nibbled
on a saltine. The cracker did not help the nausea that churned in her
stomach, due either to what she had to tell the blond detective or something
else entirely. Her mother had been given a clean bill of health, so some
of the stress and worry was off of her, but not all of it. She took a
deep breath, she had been trying to find the opportunity to talk privately
with Kowalski for almost two weeks now, but he was avoiding her again
and frankly she was sick of it. They had only made love one other
time, since the evening he stayed at her house, and that was actually
in the GTO when he went to drive her home one night. They had both been
arguing about something and then the next thing she knew they were kissing.
Well, the rest was unexpected but completely thrilling, as Ray had taken
her with an animal like urgency.
She honestly didn't know
how he was going to take the news, she was still unsure how he felt about
her, truly felt about her anyway. She knew he was very attracted to her,
that he even enjoyed spending time with her, but just when they would
start to get closer, he would pull away and go into his brotherly routine,
treating her as he always had when he was pretending to be Ray Vecchio.
Finally she made
up her mind, she had to tell him, he had a right to know and she couldn't
wait forever. She stood up, finished off her cracker and slowly walked
up to them. Welsh seemed startled by her interruption, Ray merely annoyed.
"What can I do for
you Miss. Vecchio?" the lieutenant asked calmly.
"I...I need ta talk
to Ray, Sir." She informed glancing at the detective beside her.
"Can it wait Frannie?"
Ray inquired quietly, watching the young woman bite her lip and shake
her head. He sighed. "Gimmie five minutes, then and I'll be wit ya."
She nodded and returned to her desk, watching the two men continue to
converse. A server cramp hit her and she bolted from her chair to get
to the ladies room before she lost her lunch all over the squadroom floor.
After splashing some water on her face and attempting to restore some
color to her pale cheeks with her makeup, she exited the bathroom and
came face to face with Kowalski, who was leaning against the wall. His
gaze swept over her quietly as he pushed off the wall to stand more erect
beside her.
"H..Hi." she managed,
trying to hide her surprise at finding him there, as she pushed a lock
of her hair away from her damp face.
"Ya okay?" he asked
gently and she bit back a sigh. How could he act so concerned one minute
and ignore her the next, she was going crazy! She nodded and hid her
shaking hands by folding them behind her back. "Ya said ya needed ta
talk ta me?"
"Um..can
we go somewhere private?" she requested huskily, her throat was raw from
vomiting. Ray shrugged and moved toward the back exit, waiting until
she caught up to him before opening the door that led to the department's
parking lot. He unlocked the GTO and allowed her to get in first, then
slid in himself. He closed the door and waited, not turning the engine.
Francesca tried not to think about the last time she had been in the
vehicle, how easy it would be to just lean forward and try for a repeat
performance of that night almost three months ago.
"I ain't got a lotta
time, Frannie." He explained picking at his sun visor. "I've gotta run
down some leads fer a case. So what'cha need ta talk privately ta me
about?" Francesca tried not to let her temper get the best of her, but
she couldn't help it.
"If you had talked
ta me the hundred other times I asked ya wouldn't be rushed now, Ray."
She accused folding her arms in front of her angrily. He shrugged, unable
to deny her charge.
"I don't wanna fight."
He sighed. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "Now what did ya
want?"
"Are ya sure ya
got time ta listen to me, Ray?" she retorted sarcastically. "I mean I
wouldn't wanna be takin' ya away from yer valuable work now or anything."
"Frannie, just talk,
or let me go." He warned in a voice that informed her his own nerves
were frayed at the moment. She wanted to scream at him that she never
wanted to let him go, that she wanted to stay with him forever, but without
knowing how he felt about her she was afraid to take that leap. She had
made that mistake before, she would not play the fool again, never again.
"I..I want ta know
how ya feel about me." She finally demanded, surprised the words had
gotten past her lips. Ray didn't even glance at her, he just sort of
tilted his head in a way that told her he was considering saying something
he might regret later.
"Why d'ya need ta
know dat now?" he asked with a trace of edge in his voice.
"Because I do."
She countered boldly. "I have a right ta know don't I? I mean we have...well,
it's not like we're strangers Ray. We've...you know....and I think I
deserve ta know."
"What d'ya wanna
know Frannie?" he returned fiercely, finally meeting her gaze. "Ya wanna
know that I want ya? I do. Ya wanna know dat I miss ya when yer not around?
I do. Yer wonderin' if my intentions are honorable? Hell! I don't know.
What d'ya want, Frannie? Just tell me what ya want me ta say so I can
get back ta work." Francesca stared at him as hot tears pierced her eyes
and her lower lip began to tremble.
"You bastard!" she
sobbed throwing open the door and bolting from the vehicle. Ray closed
his eyes tightly then threw a fit inside the car, hitting whatever he
could with his hands as fast as he could. Finally he slumped in his seat
and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to push back
the tears that threatened to surface. God he wished Fraser were here,
wished he had someone to talk to.
"Ray?" a familiar
voice called to him and for a moment he thought he had dreamed it. He
shook his head and pressed his hands against his eyes harder, until he
was seeing spots of speckled light in the darkness. The voice sounded
again, calling his name and he started to believe he was finally loosing
it. He was beginning to hear the Mountie's voice in his head again, he
had thought that had stopped. A knock on his window startled him and
his eyes flew open, catching a familiar shade of red in his direct line
of sight. His eyes followed the color upward into the shining blue eyes
of Benton Fraser. Ray couldn't get out of the vehicle fast enough, as
he threw back the door and leapt out to throw his arms around his friend
and partner. Fraser hugged him back and smiled.
"Fraser!" he cried
joyously. "Yer back!" Fraser smiled and stepped back, though they were
still holding each other loosely.
"How are you, Ray?"
he asked, his own eyes alight with excitement. Ray laughed and pulled
the Mountie back into his embrace again.
"I'm good now, Buddy."
He whispered. "I'm good now." Fraser felt tears prick his eyes as he
returned the detective's embrace once more. Ray had lost weight, he looked
like he hadn't been sleeping and he seemed so relieved to see Fraser
the Canadian automatically felt guilty for ever having stayed in Canada
and leaving his partner to return alone. Ray finally stepped back and
glanced around.
"Diefenbaker's at the Consulate, Ray." Fraser supplied, guessing who
the detective was looking for. "I wanted to...see you alone first." Fraser
shifted his weight in a nervous two step that Ray had missed seeing.
"I..I wasn't sure you would...well how you would react to..." Ray stared
at him. Did the Mountie honestly think Ray wouldn't have wanted to see
him?
"Frase, yer my buddy."
He assured. "Of course I would want ta see ya." He awarded Fraser his
most dazzling smile and Fraser immediately felt foolish for ever having
believed Ray's feelings for him had changed. "How long can ya stay? Are
ya here fer some Canadian thing I don't know about? Where are ya stayin'?
Can ya stay at my place? I got plenty o' room, course ya know that's
a lie, but I'd like ta have ya anyway and..." Fraser finally interrupted.
"I'm staying at
the Consulate currently, Ray." He explained trying to answer his friend's
barrage of questions. "I wouldn't want to impose on you, but if you like
Diefenbaker and I would be delighted to stay with you until we find a
place of our own and..."
"A...a place of
yer own?" Ray repeated surprised. "D..Does that mean yer..."
"I've been reinstated
at the Consulate, Ray." Fraser confirmed, gauging his friend's reactions.
Now comes the hard part he thought worriedly. "I've moved back to Chicago
and have resumed my old position, or rather Inspector Thatcher's position."
Ray stared at him, a thousand different emotions fluttering across his
features, so many Fraser lost count. He wasn't at all sure how Ray would
react to his news, though from what he had seen so far, it looked to
be favorably, still he wasn't sure. He suspected Ray still harbored some
resentment for their partnership breaking up and Fraser staying in Canada.
"Y..yer an Inspector
now?" Ray croaked and Fraser immediately grew concerned. "H..here in
Chicago? Yer...yer stayin' here? W...what about yer home?" Fraser caressed
his eyebrow and shuffled his weight again, perhaps this wasn't a good
idea. Obviously Ray had only considered he was here for a visit, not
for good.
"Ah...yes." He replied
finally. "I..I found that going home was wonderful but it...that is...it
was no longer home to me, Ray." He met the other man's gaze. "Home was
with the people I cared about, who cared about me, and those people were
here in Chicago." Ray suddenly seemed unable to stand still, as he bounced
from leaning on the car to standing up straight to pacing in front of
Fraser.
"Um...Frase,
I..I though ya knew." He muttered. "Vecchio's gone. He and Stella moved
to Kentucky or somewhere..."
"I'm not talking
about Ray Vecchio, Ray." Fraser explained gently, watching the blonde's
eyes dart around then finally land on him. "I will miss him of course,
he is my friend and was my partner..."
"Yah an he's gone
though now so.." mumbled Ray and again Fraser interrupted him.
"There are other
people here more...important to me, Ray." Fraser insisted and Ray glanced
at him with what Fraser could only describe as shock and perhaps a bit
of fear.
"Ya came back
fer Frannie?" he demanded hoarsely and Fraser shook his head, watching
as his friend sagged slightly in relief.
"I care for Francesca."
Fraser admitted watching Ray tense again. "But as a sister, not as anything
more." Ray relaxed again and Fraser suspected the cop was wound so tight
he could be used as a bungee cord at this point.
"T...then who...?"
he questioned dazed. "Thatcher's gone, Turnbull's gone...Vecchio..and
not Frannie..." He met Fraser's eyes. "I don't understand Fraser, most
da people ya care about are gone." Fraser shook his head and placed a
hand on Ray's shoulder.
"No Ray." He insisted. "You are still here." Ray stared at him astounded.
"Y..Ya came back
fer me Frase?" he asked in disbelief and Fraser nodded. "T...To do what?
Yer an Inspector now ya can't..I mean ya won't be.."
"I am assuming my
old duties, Ray." Fraser informed. "Including my Liaison with the Chicago
Police department" He regarded Ray carefully. "If the position is still
open."
"Y..ya mean ta be..be
my partner?" Fraser suspected the detective was close to tears, as was
he, if he was wrong and Ray didn't want him back he would be crushed.
"If you'll have
me, Ray." He offered watching as the blond attempted to get a reign on
his emotions.
"Yah, sure..sure
Fraser that'd be..fine that'd be good." Ray assured confidently and Fraser
smiled relieved. "But if yer the Inspector how ya gonna..."
"Actually I am only
acting Inspector." Fraser explained. "I have been promoted, but if I
become your partner I will take a reduction in rank, and resume my duties
at the consulate, but I will have say over what goes on. Does that make
sense?"
"Ya'd take
a demotion just ta be my partner, Frase?"
"In a heart beat
Ray." Fraser returned easily. Ray grinned and threw an arm around his
friend's shoulders.
"Fraser, I could
kiss ya." Fraser tilted his head and said seriously.
"Well, if you insist,
Ray, though I did just come from the station and have not yet had the
opportunity to shave." Ray stumbled back slightly.
"I meant figuratively
ya moron! " He exclaimed then his eyes narrowed on the gleam in the Mountie's
eyes and he realized he was being teased. "Fraser? "
"Yes, Ray? "
"Yer a freak."
"Understood."
Both men grinned at each other then Ray grabbed the Stetson of his partner's
head and plopped it on his own as they headed into the station, while
Fraser chuckled.
Ray headed up the
steps to the Vecchio's home, Fraser followed quietly, a silent support
for his friend. Ray had finally broken down and told him what was going
on between him and Francesca and Fraser had insisted that the tow of
them needed to talk, so here Ray was. Fraser always could get him to
do something he didn't want to or was afraid to, though right now he
didn't even know if Francesca would speak to him the way he had treated
her two days ago. His hand was posed to knock on the door, when it was
suddenly thrown open and something hard hit Ray straight in the face.
Fraser caught the blond as he stumbled backwards and stared up into the
furious expression of Ray Vecchio.
"Get outta here Kowalski!" the former detective demanded. "Ya stay the
hell away from my sister!" Ray K. Straightened and wiped the blood from
his lip, only Fraser's arms around him preventing the detective from
attacking the Italian in kind.
"What the hell is yer problem, Vecchio?" he screamed angrily as Mrs.
Vecchio, Francesca and Stella all rushed out of the house. Vecchio grabbed
his sister, preventing her from going to the man she loved.
"You stay away from
here or I swear I'll kill ya!" he threatened as Mrs. Vecchio hurried
over to Ray .
"Raymondo, stop
this!" she demanded but her son ignored her.
"I knew ya were
trash the minute I set eyes on ya and now ya've gone and proved me right
but gettin' Frannie knocked up!" Ray K's eyes grew wide as he stared
at Francesca and paled visibly.
"W...what?" he asked
dazed.
"Ray, this isn't
the time..." Fraser began trying to be the voice or reason, as Francesca
finally broke from her brother and ran to Kowalski. He pushed away from
her.
"I..I tried
to tell you." She sobbed reaching for him. "The other day but you were
so angry and I..." Ray stared at her with such pain in his eyes she could
barely stand to meet his gaze.
"Y...yer pregnant?"
he gasped and she nodded.
"I..I don't expect
anything Ray, honestly I just wanted ya ta know."
"Damn straight she
ain't expectin' nothin." Spat Vecchio coming down the steps toward them
and he was mildly surprised that Fraser placed himself between the enraged
Italian and his partner. He glanced up as though noticing the Mountie
for the first time. "Benny! Yer back. What are you doin' here?"
"Leave them alone,
Ray." Fraser pressed, ignoring his former partner's greeting. Vecchio
scowled and moved to push past him but Fraser stood his ground.
"This ain't yer
concern, Benny." He stated.
"It isn't yours
either, Ray." Fraser countered firmly.
"She's my sister!"
declared Vecchio furious. "Yer partner there took advantage of her and
then left her high and dry. Well I ain't gonna stand fer it." He pushed
at Fraser, surprised when the Mountie shoved him back.
"I don't want to
fight you, Ray." He informed coolly. "But I will if you persist in trying
to hurt Ray." Vecchio stared at him startled and realized the Canadian
meant it. Vecchio backed off, he wouldn't go up against Benny, and he
still considered the man his close friend.
"Ray, please Ray..."
Francesca was pleading as the blond continued to back away.
"I..I'm sorry."
He whispered as he sagged against his vehicle. "I..I never meant...A
baby! Yer gonna have a baby."
"I can't give it
up, Ray." She insisted misunderstanding him and she immediately regretted
her words when she saw the agony of his expression.
"Give it up?" he
shook his head. "P..please Frannie. Don't do that. I..I'll stay away
I swear. You never haveta look at me again. Just..keep it okay?" Francesca
shook her head, wanting to explain but he was already climbing behind
the wheel and tearing off down the straight, oblivious to the fact that
he had left Fraser stranded. Francesca turned on her brother, tears streaming
down her face.
"How could you do
this?" she screamed at him. "He didn't know and now he thinks I don't
want him or the baby! Damn you Ray I wish you had never come back!" She
ran crying into the house her mother and Stella hurrying after her. Fraser
turned to Vecchio, who was staring at the ground grimly.
"You have changed,
Ray." He commented quietly. "I have seen you be pushy, arrogant and sometimes
mean, but you were never cruel. Ray was coming over to apologize to Francesca
for the things he had said, he didn't know about the baby and I don't
believe that if he had known he would leave her out to dry as you put
it. He loves her, Ray."
"I...I just...I
lost it, Benny. I'm sorry." Vecchio offered.
"I'm not the one
you need to apologize to, Ray." Fraser stated and Ray nodded.
"Ya need a ride
home, Benny?" Fraser shook his head.
"I believe I will
walk, thank you kindly."
"Com'on Fraser,
it's like ten miles, let me drive ya." He lowered his eyes ashamed. "And
I'll drive Frannie over there too, so I can apologize to them both."
Fraser smiled and nodded, that was the Ray Vecchio he knew and cared
for.
"That is a
good idea, Ray, but I think you should wait until tomorrow, give everyone
a chance to calm down." Vecchio nodded knowing the Mountie was right
as always.
"Let
me give ya a lift at least." Fraser accepted.
"Thank you kindly,
Ray."
Fraser entered Kowalski's
apartment and immediately smelled tobacco and alcohol. He shook his head
and closed the door quietly behind him. Diefenbaker was sitting beside
the sofa where he knew Ray was laying, and the lights were off while
soft music played.
"What am I gonna
do Fraser?" the detective asked from his reclined position before the
Mountie could even speak. Fraser approached him, gently removing the
cigarette from his lips and dousing it in the ashtray with the others.
"I wasn't aware
you smoked, Ray." He remarked curiously, settling on the other side of
his friend as Ray sat up.
"I did when I was
in high school." He muttered reaching for the half-empty pack on the
table and his lighter. "Picked it up again here lately." Fraser took
that cigarette from him as well and Ray glared at him, then reached for
his beer. He took a long swallow and tried to light another cigarette
but his hands were shaking so badly he gave up. Fraser regarded him quietly,
concerned that he must be very upset to pick up a long dead habit.
"Are you all right,
Ray?" he asked gently and Ray hung his head.
"I don't know."
He sighed. "I..I didn't know Fraser. Ya gotta believe me I had no clue
that was what she was tryin' ta tell me. I mean I completely fergot..I'm
never that stupid when it comes ta..ah hell!" He dropped his head in
his hands.
"Do you
love Francesca, Ray?"
"She talks too much..."
he muttered between his fingers.
"Ray."
"And
her clothes are way to revealin'..."
"Ray."
"She could try the
patience of a Saint..."
"Ray!" Ray looked
at him finally.
"What?"
"Do you love her?"
Fraser demanded and Ray sighed.
"Yah, I..I think
she talked me into it damnit!" Fraser hid a smile. "What do I do, Frase?"
Ray indicated the mess of crumbled paper that littered the floor. "I..I
tried ta write her a note..tell her I was sorry..that I..but I can't
and I don't know how and..." He shook his head in defeat. "I blew it
again. Just like Stella. I've lost her because I was too damned scared
of getting' that close again."
"You haven't lost
her yet, Ray." Fraser announced softly. "We'll explain..."
"Vecchio's right.
I'm trash. I don't deserve Frannie..I..." Fraser suddenly grasped
his arms and shook Ray.
"You listen to me Stanley
Raymond Kowalski." He demanded as Ray stared at him in shock. "You are
not trash. You are a warm and loving man and if Francesca Vecchio is
the woman that makes you happy then fight for her. Don't listen to Ray,
don' t listen to anyone or anything but what your own heart tells you."
"You are in love
with Frannie, ain't ya Frase?" Ray asked dumbfounded. Fraser dropped
his hands and looked away.
"I..I was in love
with her, Ray." He admitted reluctantly and Ray saw the pain in his eyes.
"But my loyalty to her brother prevented me from... he'd made it clear
that he did not want Francesca involved with a guy like me and I accepted
that because he was my friend and perhaps I felt Francesca did deserve
better." Ray listened quietly, trying to curb his rising anger. Vecchio
seemed to have a way of messing up everyone's lives.
"Why didn't you
ever tell her, Benton?" he questioned. "You knew how she felt about you."
"I couldn't Ray,
my conscience wouldn't allow it. Ray was my partner my friend I simply
couldn't...it wasn't right for me to have those kind of feelings for
his sister." Fraser stood suddenly the urge to move overwhelming him.
"He..he didn't approve of me, for her, Ray. I heard him say so, guys
like me weren't meant for girls like Francesca." Ray bolted from the
couch his own misery forgotten.
"What the hell does that mean, Fraser?" he demanded. "Christ ya can't
get someone better than you, what does Vecchio think Francesca is a celestial
virgin that only a God is suited for?"
"I..I never learned
what he meant, I never asked him about it." Fraser shook his head decisively.
"Anyway, that is over with, I don't want Ray to come between you and
Francesca, I don't want you to let him bully you like..."
"Like he did with
you, Frase?" Ray finished and Fraser nodded. "Do you still love
her Fraser? Is that the reason ya came back, ta see her again?" Fraser
moved away.
"I...Ray it doesn't
matter. You are whom Francesca wants now and..."
"Tell me Fraser.
I wanna know. Are ya still in love with Frannie?"
"Why does it matter?
You..."
"Because if you
are I know that she would want you over me and I'll step back."
"Ray! You can't
be serious! You just said that you loved her and she is carrying your
child."
"I know
that. I didn't say it'd be easy, but I want her ta be happy. If she thought
that she had a chance with you again she'd be...ecstatic. Knowing she's
happy would..it would be enough for me. Knowing..knowing you would be
happy would be enough." Fraser stared at him.
"You would really
stop seeing her just so I could...could try to win back her affections?"
"Yah, I would."
Fraser turned away again so that his friend would not see the tears that
gathered in his eyes. Never, had he felt so touched and treasured. Ray
Vecchio had almost given up his home and his very life to save Fraser.
Ray Kowalski was willing to give up his child, the woman he loved and
his own last shot at happiness so Fraser would be happy. All this time
he had thought he was really alone in the world that no one was close
enough to him to truly be considered...He shook his head. He had wronged
both his Ray's. In his attempt to keep from being hurt he had held back
valued parts of himself, yet they were willing to sacrifice so much for
the part he had allowed them. He hated himself for his own cowardice.
He couldn't deny that the idea of staring over with Francesca had partially
prompted his return to Chicago, butt Kowalski was the real reason and
now he knew why. He wasn't in love with Francesca, he was in love with
his partner, and his partner deserved all the happiness life could give
him.
"There is no need
for that, Ray." He assured finally. "I..I appreciate what you are offering
to do but, although I care deeply for Francesca, I do not believe we
are suited to be together. I believe you and she are destined to share
that bond."
"I still think she
would prefer ya Fraser." Insisted Ray. "If ya just tell her she'd be
all over it..."
"Ray, I know what
you are doing."
"W..what? What am
I doing?"
"You are finding
away to keep from getting to closely involved with Francesca. You told
me yourself that you intentionally seem to pick women that will not like
you or you do something to make the woman mistrust or dislike you to
keep from getting close, especially if it's a woman you like."
"I..I don't..."
"You do, Ray I have
seen you do it many times. I will not let you do it with Francesca. She
needs you Ray. You both belong together, accept that she loves you and
only you, as frightening as that is for you." Ray shook his head, his
thoughts confused, jumbled.
"I...tomorrow."
He muttered. "Gimmie some time ta think, I'll go see her tomorrow." Fraser
nodded then Ray glanced up at him with hesitant eyes. "Um..Fraser, will
you come with me?"
"Of course I will."
Ray parked the GTO
on the street, scanning the area for Vecchio's vehicle but not seeing
it. He took a deep breath and got out, Fraser and Diefenbaker joined
him on the steps. He knocked on the door and a moment later Mrs. Vecchio
pulled it open and wrapped them both in a warm embrace.
"Come in my darlings!"
she welcomed ushering them inside and petting the wolf affectionately.
"Um..is Frannie
around, Mrs. Vecchio?" Ray inquired formally and the woman nodded.
"In her room, you
will go up and speak with her yes?" Ray nodded, glanced at Fraser who
nodded his encouragement, then headed upstairs while the large woman
hustled her favorite Mountie into the kitchen for tea. Ray knocked quietly
on Francesca's door and a moment later she opened it, wearing just a
brief robe, her hair wrapped in a towel; she looked as though she had
not slept I days.
"Um..hi." he greeted almost shyly as she pulled him inside and wrapped
her arms around him.
"Oh Ray!" she cried. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I..."
"Hush, baby." He
cooed holding her protectively against him and whispering in her ear.
"It's my fault, I was bein' a jerk. I shoulda listened. I'm so sorry
I hurt ya." Francesca lifted her head and met his gaze.
"I really don't
expect anything Ray I..."
"What the hell is
this?" Ray Vecchio suddenly demanded, grabbing Ray K. by the collar and
pulling him back out into the corridor. "I was willin' to admit I was
outta line yesterday, Kowalski but you will not put yer paws on my sister
in my house!" Ray K. Backed up slightly, he didn't want to fight with
Vecchio, because that would end up hurting Francesca more, but the urge
to hit the arrogant Italian was getting harder to ignore.
"Mind yer own business,
Vecchio." He tossed angrily. "This is between me and Frannie." Ray V.
moved forward menacingly.
"Get outta here,
Kowalski or I swear I'll..." Ray K. drew up against him, refusing to
back down to the threats.
"Yer gonna what?"
he dared as Francesca tried to get between them and keep them from coming
to blows.
"Stop it both of
you!" she demanded.
"Stay outta this,
Frannie." Her brother warned, but Francesca only tried harder and Vecchio
tried to push her out of the way so he had a clear shot at Kowalski,
but they hadn't realized how close to the staircase they were and just
as Fraser shouted a warning, Francesca's scream split the air around
them as she tumbled down the sprawling staircase. Her brother stared
horrified as he watched his baby sister bounce over the steps like a
rag doll and screamed after her. Ray K. almost fell himself rushing down
the steps, falling on his knees beside her where Fraser was already checking
her for injuries as Mrs. Vecchio called 911.
"Frannie!" Ray K.
pleaded grasping her hand as Fraser fetched a blanket, after telling
Ray not to move her. Francesca stared up at Ray K. Fear, pain and shock
expressed in her tear filled eyes as she cradled her stomach.
"Don't...I don't
want to loose our baby!" she sobbed, in more pain than she had ever believed
possible. "Please, Ray. Promise we won't..." A surge of pain hit her
and rendered unconscious.
"No!" Both Ray's
seemed to gasp, Ray Vecchio now beside his sister as well as Fraser returned.
"God Frannie!" her
brother whimpered, tears streaming down his face. "I didn't mean it.
Please God don't let her die or loose her baby, dear God please!" Fraser
glanced at Mrs. Vecchio who was saying a quiet prayer for her children
as the sounds of the sirens announced the arrival of the ambulance outside.
They took Francesca out, Mrs. Vecchio traveling with her daughter as
the other men piled into the GTO and sped to the hospital. Ray Vecchio
was sobbing in the back seat, racked no doubt by guilt and the idea that
they might loose Francesca. Ray Kowalski's face was a stone mask, which
worried Fraser even more than her brother's tears.
Francesca opened
her eyes and noticed the three men that kept vigil at her bedside with
a small affectionate smile. Her brother was leaned against the far wall,
his arms folded across his chest, turned away from her in his own misery.
Fraser, her darling Mountie, was stationed at the window, his hands clasped
behind him as he glanced out at the darkening city of Chicago, as though
awaiting his next order, but she knew it was merely a pose he chose when
deep in thought. Ray Kowalski was in a chair by her bed, his head resting
in his hands, his hair as defiant as ever under his ruthless fingers.
"Ray." She whispered
and all three men turned to her startled, though her eyes settled on
the one closest to her. He offered her a shaky smile as he linked his
fingers through hers, careful of the IV attached to her arm.
"Hiya beautiful."
he greeted warmly. "Glad ya decided ta wake up finally." She offered
him a small smile, though she felt like she had been run over by a truck,
she tried not to show it. She turned her attention to Fraser, who offered
her a gentle smile.
"How are you feeling,
Francesca?" he inquired softly.
"Pretty rotten."
She replied but her smile took the sting from her honestly. "I'm glad
yer back Frase." Fraser nodded, obviously pleased by her words. Finally
she glanced at her brother, who refused to meet her gaze. "Um...Can I
talk ta my brother alone, guys." Both men nodded and moved to leave.
Francesca was pleasantly surprised when Ray K. bent and tenderly kissed
her before he left, shooting Vecchio a look that seemed to dare him to
object. Her brother remained silent even after the two men left.
"I'm sorry, Frannie."
He finally said, his voice cracking with the tide of emotion that threatened
to over take him. He raised his eyes to hers and she gasped at the unshed
tears that shone there. "I'm so sorry." That was when she knew and the
anguish that suddenly consumed her caused her to cry out in despair.
Tears streamed down her brother's cheeks and with a soft cry he bolted
from the room as Fraser and Ray K. returned, having heard Francesca's
pain. Kowalski suggested Fraser go after Vecchio and he would take care
of Frannie.
"It's
okay, Baby." Ray assured gathering her into his arms as carefully as
possible so as not to aggravate her injuries, as she clung to him.
"It will be okay." She cried on his shoulder for a long time, then finally
calmed down enough to pull away and stare up at him. For the first
time she noticed that his normally vibrant blue eyes were rimmed with
red and slightly bloodshot. She reached up and touched a finger to his
cheek and he captured it, kissing it softly before pulling it away from
him.
"Our baby." She
whimpered as he gently lay her back down on the bed , noticing her medication
was staring to make her drowsy again.
"It's okay, sweetheart."
He assured. "You sleep now. Eveythin' will seem better in da mornin'."
She nodded trustingly and allowed her eyes to close. Ray waited until
he was sure she was asleep, then carefully stood up, arranged the sheets
closer around her and left the room. He came face to face with Stella
and Ma. Vecchio, and immediately turned away from them. Stella called
after him as he walked further down the hall, but he didn't turn back,
he couldn't deal with her now. He rounded another corner, walking aimlessly,
he barely registered the fact that he had walked out the front door of
the hospital and was soaked within a few minutes from the blasting
rain. Still he continued, around another corner, down the street across
the avenue until he finally stopped in front of a church a few blocks
away. He stared up at the vision of the Virgin Mary before him that stood
at the entrance to the cathedral and felt his legs give beneath him.
Wet, cold, and kneeling in a puddle of water on the hard granite steps,
Stanley Raymond Kowalski wept for the loss of his son.
Francesca did not
wake again until the next morning and quietly took her mother fussing
over her, fluffing her pillows, offering to fetch her some tea or magazines,
anything for her little girl. Fraser stopped in on his way to work, assuring
her she looked radiant as always, even in the dull white hospital gown
against the stark white sheets. Her brother had filled her room with
every kind of flower imaginable, and she feared he'd go bankrupt if he
kept it up. They had spoken briefly that morning, thanks to Fraser's
insistence and support for her and her brother, and Francesca had assured
him she didn't blame him. But she knew that Ray blamed himself for her
loss and was making up for it the only way he knew, by showering her
with gifts. Fraser claimed he had not seen Kowalski leave the night before,
but had no doubt he would be in to see her as soon as he could.
"I will get you
some of those puzzle books you like." Her mother was deliberating. 'I
saw them at the gift shop down stairs and I know they will keep you busy."
Francesca forced a smile.
"Thanks Ma." She
returned, agreeing to anything that might get the over protective woman
out of her hair for awhile. She loved her Mother but right now all she
could think about was Ray Kowalski and why he hadn't been back to see
her yet. She wondered if he decided he didn't want to be with her after
all, or that maybe it would be too painful for him to be around her now
with everything that had happened. She suspected how much he wanted children,
which was what led her to believe he would be pleased by her news, but
he had been acting so squirly the last few months she couldn't tell where
he was coming from and that had scared her. She should have made him
listen, but she had let her fear of rejection run her off, no doubt the
same fear that seemed to keep Ray at a safe distance.
"How are you feeling,
Miss. Vecchio?" inquired a deep rumbling voice and Francesca glanced
up to offer Lieutenant Welsh a surprised smile.
"I'm much better,
Sir thank you." She returned quietly. "H..have you seen detective Kowalski?"
Welsh nodded.
"He was heading
out on a case when I left the precinct about an hour ago." He informed
handing her a small stuffed bear that held a get well balloon and a basket
of chocolates. She thanked him for the gift and tried not to show her
relief. If Ray was not there because he was working, she could accept
that, but the idea that he might be avoiding her nagged at her.
"D..did he mention
if he might stop by?" she asked hesitantly.
"I didn't get much
of a chance to talk to him." Admitted Welsh. "I asked him how you were,
he said you were doin' better then he took off. Ya know how he is, can't
stay in one spot too long and now that Fraser is back they're workin'
a lot more on his more difficult cases." Francesca nodded.
"Thanks fer stopping
by, Sir." She repeated and he nodded then said goodbye. Francesca wasn't
much in the mood for visitors, though she did want to go home.
Francesca was released
two days later, her brother drove her home from the hospital, once again
asking if there was anything he could do for her. He continued his offers
as they arrived home and Marie and Mrs. Vecchio fussed about her. Finally
she released a cry of frustration and everyone stared at her surprised.
"I don't wanna lie down,
I don't wanna eat, I don't want anything but to be left alone!" she demanded
turning away from them and running up the stairs to her room and
threw herself on her bed, hugging her collection of stuffed animals to
her body as she started to cry. A few minutes later a knock sounded
at her door and she muffled for them to go away. The knock sounded again
and she sprang from her bed, prepared to tell Maria, her brother or even
her Ma to leave her the hell alone, but when she threw open the door
Ray Kowalski stood quietly on the other side. She stared at him, part
of her wanted to throw her arms around him in relief, the other part
was angry that he had not been to see her in two days. The anger won
out and she started to close the door in his face. Ray nudged his foot
inside and caught the door with his hand.
"Frannie..." he
began but she had already turned away and stormed to stare out the window,
her back to him. He sighed and stepped inside, leaving the door open,
perhaps in deference to her brother, she didn't know. "Frannie, please,
I know yer angry but let me..."
"Go away, Ray."
She demanded folding her arms across her chest defiantly, refusing to
look at him, if she looked at him she would weaken and she was too furious
and hurt for that.
"Let me explain."
He finished quietly.
"There's nothing
to explain." She retorted. "Nothing at all. I mean, yer a busy man, I
certainly can't expect ya to have time fer me. I was bein' stupid I thought..."
she shook her head. "It doesn't matter, just leave."
"Frannie, if I leave
now, I ain't comin' back." He commented, a hard edge in his voice. "Now
are ya gonna talk ta me or..." She turned on him, her eyes blazing.
"Oh! So now ya wanna talk!" she exclaimed. "Now ya wanna talk. What about
when I wanted ta talk, Ray. Huh? What about what I had to tell ya but
you wouldn't listen! Ya pushed me away like always. If you had listened
to me my baby wouldn't be dead now damn you!" She regretted the words
the minute they left her mouth, as she watched Ray almost stumble backwards
from her accusation. He had paled visibly, his eyes closed as though
in great pain. Her anger deserted her and she took a step forward. "Ray
I..."
"I'm sorry Frannie."
He whispered, stepping back away from her as his hand gripped the doorknob
tightly behind him. "Yer right. I shoulda listened." He shook his head
woefully. "I never listen. I..I shoulda never let Vecchio chase me off,
I shoulda heard what ya had to say I shoulda..." He winced as though
a great pain assailed him. "I shoulda told'ya I loved ya, when I knew
dat was what yer were askin'." Francesca stepped forward again and reached
out to him, but again he stumbled away from her. "I don't deserve ya
Frannie. I'm s..so sorry fer what..." He backed up and finally met her
eyes with the gaze of a wounded animal. "I'm sorry." He scrambled out
of the room and Francesca hurried after him, calling his name. She was
surprised when she reached the landing, just as her brother stepped in
front of Kowalski as he darted from the steps.
"Hold up Stanley." He
ordered, moving to grab hold of the trembling detective. Ray K. pushed
him away.
"I swear
ta God Vecchio, I'll kick yer head in if ya don't get the hell outta
my way, I've had just about enough a you." He threatened but the Italian
stood his ground.
"I deserve it." He admitted quietly, "But that's fer later. Talk ta Frannie,
Ray, no more running." Ray tried to move past him again and Mrs. Vecchio
intervened, stepping up and pulling the blond into her arms in a firm
hug. He tried to move away from her, but he would have to hurt her to
get away and she refused to release him.
"Leave us." She
ordered of the others, gently pulling Ray K's head down to her chest,
now that he was no longer fighting her as Ray and Maria obeyed their
mother. Francesca stepped toward them, having come down the stairs. "Just
for a moment, my darling." Francesca nodded and followed her siblings
into the kitchen. Mrs. Vecchio held Ray. K. quietly, he no longer fought
the embrace but he was not returning it either, his hands stayed determinedly
at his sides.
"Please
let me go, Ma...Mrs. Vecchio." He pleaded softly and she smiled slightly.
"You still will call me
Ma, Stanley." She insisted gently. "You know you are like my own, now
do not hurt an old woman's feelings and give me a hug." Ray shook his
head, knowing if he allowed himself to accept her love and affection,
in his current state, he would be lost.
"Please...Just let..."
he began and she held him tighter, as he tried not to think how good
her arms felt around him, how sweet she smelled and how safe she was
making him feel.
"You love my Francesca,
yes?"
"Y..yes."
"Then why do you
run from her?" she demanded and Ray shook his head again.
"..no good..." he
mumbled and she felt his arms finally go around her, as he relaxed against
her. "I..I can't...I..I killed her..our...t..the baby."
"No, Stanley." Protested
Ma firmly. "It was God's choice. An accident that happened, you are not
to blame, my Raymundo is not to blame. There will be other babies." Ray
broke away from her and dropped down on the bottom step, his head in
his hands.
"She hates me! I..I
can't help thinkin' she hates me!" Ma settled on the steps beside
him, her arms around his shoulders.
"She loves you,
precious." She countered. "I see it in her eyes. She is angry and sad.
She feels many things now and must sort them out, but do not give up
on her." Ray again shook his head. "Then she means nothing to you.
You have used my Francesc..." Ray's head shot up and he stared at her
in shock.
"No!" he denied,
his eyes pleading with her. "D..don't say that! I never...please Ma,
I never meant..I do care about her I didn't..." She patted his arm.
"You love her." She decided, seeing that
her ploy had worked to get him talking again. "Then you will work things
out." Ray started to shake his head in denial again, but thought better
of it. He stood and moved toward the door, Ma rose and stopped him.
"Please..." he began
again. "I..I don't know what to say..I..how can I make up fer..."
"Talk with her." Demanded Ma, indicating the living room. "Go there and
wait for her. I will send her in. You will do this because you must do
it, Stanley." Finally Ray nodded, he could not argue with her, it was
a loosing battle. He retreated to the living are and stood by the large
bay window. A moment later he heard a movement behind him and turned,
not quite able to meet Francesca's eyes. She watched him beneath lowered
lashes, her arms folded protectively across her chest, both waited for
the other to speak.
"Would you really
leave and not come back?" she questioned finally and Ray shook his head.
"Unless ya didn't
want me ta come back." He admitted. "And even then I dunno if I could
stay away." Francesca raised her eyes to his.
"Why?"
"Frannie, I'm sorry
I..."
"Why would you come
back, Ray?" she demanded, interrupting him. Ray stared at her for a long
time, his fingers playing with the bracelet on his wrist.
"Because..'cause
I'd have ta see ya, Frannie."
"Why Ray? Tell me
why? Give me a reason I should even bother..." she slumped into the closest
chair. "I..I was so angry with you. Why didn't you come back to see me
in the hospital? I waited and hoped and ya never showed. Do ya know how
that made me feel?" Ray ran a hand through his hair.
"I..I'm sorry..."
"I'm sick of hearing
yer sorry!" she exclaimed her fury returning as she bolted from the chair
again. "Sorry doesn't cut it! Tell me why? Why did ya push me away? Why
did ya not listen ta me? Why did ya leave me alone in the hospital to
face the death of our child by myself?" Ray blinked at the ferocity of
her attack and tried to think of what he could say to ease the situation,
but the only thing that came to mind only caused him more fear.
"I love you." He
pronounced carefully, watching her reaction closely. "I love you Frannie.
I pushed ya away because I love you. I didn't listen because I love you.
I..I let our baby die...left ya alone because I love you." He shook his
head, he didn't know how else to explain it. "I...I got dis thing inside
me, Frannie and it eats at me and tears away my...it makes me think no
one could really care fer me..no one could really be mine and mine alone.
I loose everybody I love and I..I didn't want ta loose you. If I pushed
ya away, if I never showed ya how I felt, they..they wouldn't take ya
away from me."
"They who, Ray?'
she asked suddenly quiet as she watched him struggle with his emotions.
"Dem, whoever it
is dat hates me...dat destroys everyone I care about...dat keeps me from
gettin' close..." He broke off again, suddenly dropping to his knees,
as though he no longer had the strength to hold himself up. "I'm a three
time looser, Frannie. I got nothin ta give no body." Francesca knelt
beside him and took his face in her hands, forcing his eyes to
meet hers and trying not to show her despair at the tears that rained
freely down the man's face.
"Not anymore, Ray.
" she promised. "I won't let them take me away. I'm yours for as long
as you want me. Please want me, Ray. I love you so much I can't stand
to be without you." Ray put his arms around her and crushed her to him.
"I want you." He
whispered holding her tight, his entire body was trembling with emotion.
"God I want you. I'm s..sorry about him...so sorry. I..I wanted to be
his dad, really I did I..." Francesca hushed him and cradled him in her
arms, making soothing motions over his back and through his hair with
her hands.
"It just wasn't
time." She stated quietly, though her own voice was filled with tears.
"We..we can try again if ya want." Ray lifted his head and stared at
her, both afraid and hopeful longing in his eyes.
"You...you want
to have a kid..my kid?" he questioned in disbelief. "Even after..." She
nodded.
"More than
ever now." She assured kissing him lightly on the cheek. "I would be
honored to have your children Ray Kowalski." Ray continued to stare at
her, then he moved back slightly and fiddled with his bracelet. It released
finally and he put it over Francesca's wrist with shaky fingers, clasping
it in place.
"I..I
don't got a ring...can this do fer now?" Francesca stared at his beloved
bracelet and felt a tear roll down her cheek. Ray misread her reaction.
"I..if ya don't wanna wear it I.." She pulled her wrist from his fingers
and caressed the charm lovingly.
"I'd love to wear
it, Ray." She assured softly. "It's better than any old ring." Then she
realized the ramifications of what he had just done and her eyes widened.
"A..are you askin' me ta marry ya?"
"Yes, please." He
returned hesitantly, as though fearing her rejection. She threw her arms
around him again and kissed him soundly. Someone cleared their throat
and they jumped apart to find Ray Vecchio standing in the doorway. Ray
K. stood an pulled his fiancée to her feet as the Italian approached
and stuck out his hand.
"No hard feelings, Stanley."
He offered quietly. Kowalski glanced down at Francesca, who seemed to
give him a look that said it was up to him to accept her brother's apology.
Finally they two detective's shook hands.
"Yah, no problem."
Kowalski muttered.
"Welcome to the
family then." Vecchio returned as Maria and Ma entered. Ma threw her
arms around Ray K and Francesca joyfully.
"He is already family,
Raymundo." She insisted kissing them both. "So many grandchildren I will
have, three is a good number to start with then you can have more as
they get older." Ray stared at her shocked.
"Um...yer pushin'
the envelope there just a bit, Mrs. V." he murmured embarrassed.
"Forget it, Stanley."
Laughed Ray V. "What Ma wants, Ma gets." Kowalski glanced at Francesca
who smiled serenely up at him, and he knew he was in trouble.
The end.