From: Marcella Polman (marcellapolman@hotmail.com)
Date: 02/13/2005 |
Great story. I smiled audibly serveral times reading it. And I felt nauseated when Fraser dislocated his shoulder (which is a compliment to your writing, obviously). I just feel that I have one nit to pick; the way you refer to RayK. In the canon, he doesn't like to be called Stan (due to the Brando thing), still in your story he thinks of himself as Stan (at the start, not at the end). Fraser thinks of him as Stan as well as Kowalski (either of which he would never do, I think). You refer to Ray Vecchio as the first Ray, so there has to be a second, and there is, of course. Why not just calling him Ray, throughout the whole story and not just at the end of it? This is a long nit, but I still think you wrote a brilliant story.
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