Due South and all its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

Views to: Cal18@usa.net

Story page: http://users4.50megs.com/callie

A plot bunny raised by Sylvie on the Bullpen List. So the story is a sort of AU in that Ray is still married to Stella. But he still goes undercover as Ray Vecchio and meets Fraser! Enjoy.

TWO HEARTS

by Callie

Fraser placed the final box on top of the others; straightening up he looked around his new apartment deciding that he liked it despite the jumble of boxes scattered about the room. He was glad that he had decided to leave Diefenbaker with Turnbull as the wolf would have only got in the way.

The sparsely furnished second floor apartment was small but cosy with a living room, small adjoining kitchen, a medium-sized bedroom with plenty of built-in closet space, and a small en suite bathroom. Fraser knew that he and Diefenbaker would be happy here, and was glad that his partner had persuaded him to move out of his cramped office at the Consulate.

Fraser thought about his partner as he began to unpack his books, placing them neatly on the built-in shelving. Ray Kowalski had arrived in his life unexpectedly, and Fraser smiled at the memory of his first meeting with Ray - the hug that had made him go weak at the knees despite his confusion at the tall stranger standing at Ray Vecchio's desk. Fraser cringed as he recalled spending a whole day trying to prove that Ray Kowalski wasn't Ray Vecchio, using various methods to expose the imposter, even window putty in a sandwich.

Despite Fraser's efforts to prove otherwise, Ray had shown himself to be a true partner that first day, stepping in front of a bullet meant for him, something that Fraser would never forget for as long as he lived.

Ray's boundless energy and constant movement made him dizzy sometimes, but Ray was a loyal friend, who seemed to like him for who he was, putting up with his many eccentricities with a happy grin, an occasional pulled face or raised eyes.

Ray was his best friend and partner, and from the first day there had been a spark and chemistry that hadn't been present with the real Ray Vecchio. They were flip sides of a coin, as different as chalk and cheese. Ray was the fire to his ice, and Fraser loved him with all his heart. Not sure when friendship had turned to love, Fraser was careful to keep his feelings buried deep within himself, only allowing himself to daydream about Ray when he was alone.

Fraser thought Ray was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes on, and loved everything about him. Drawn to Ray's energy like a moth to the light, Fraser couldn't seem to help himself as he fell deeper and deeper into the abyss that was love. He yearned to run his hands through Ray's wild spiky hair which seemed to be as unpredictable as its owner. He wanted to drown in the depths of the pale blue eyes that seemed to be the window to Ray's soul expressing his partner's volatile and changeable moods as they flashed with anger, fear and hurt or sparkled with mischief and amusement as Ray teased him.

During the Beth Botrelle case, however, Fraser had seen through Ray's defences to the man underneath; he knew that Ray hid his innate vulnerability, insecurity and gentleness behind a shield of strength, determination and stubbornness that rivalled his own. Fraser wanted to cast aside the shield and hold Ray tight wiping away all the pain and hurt he saw reflected in the pale eyes.

Fraser thought that sometimes he saw evidence of attraction towards him in Ray's demeanour - in the way that Ray touched him, or the rare smiles that Ray seemed to reserve for him and no-one else, but he had dismissed it as fanciful, rejecting the thoughts as a cruel trick of his imagination.

Shaking his head, Fraser sighed loudly as he continued to place the books on the shelf knowing that his feelings of love for Ray were unlikely to be returned; Ray was married to Assistant States Attorney Stella Kowalski.

Ray had told him all about Stella when they had gone for dinner after the first day, told him how they had been childhood sweethearts, eventually marrying when Ray had entered the Academy. Fraser had often thought it strange that since that night, over a year ago, Ray had rarely mentioned Stella or his marriage; he had a suspicion that the sadness Ray tried so hard to hide stemmed from his relationship with Stella, although Fraser had promised himself he would never pry or ask. He was startled out of his daydreams by a familiar voice from behind him.

"Where do you want these?" Ray asked appearing at the door, several boxes piled up on each other in his arms.

"I didn't think I had any other boxes Ray," Fraser said puzzled rising from his position on the floor. Moving forward to help, he took the top boxes placing them carefully on the floor.

"Thought you could use some extra.. you know kitchen stuff. Cups, saucers, plates and a bunch of other stuff," Ray blushed slightly as he disappeared into the small kitchen carrying two boxes. "My Mum left the stuff behind when she and Dad went to Arizona," he continued. "Stell wanted all new china so it got dumped in the back of a cupboard."

Fraser retrieved two of the boxes from the floor following Ray into the kitchen. He opened a box, peering inside at the carefully wrapped contents. "I would be honoured to use your mother's crockery and cutlery," Fraser looked sideways at Ray smiling.

"It aint much," Ray shrugged. "But I thought it might help you out. You know until you get some of yer own."

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser smiled again. "It was very thoughtful of you."

"Yer welcome Frase," Ray beamed pleased that he had thought to look out his mother's crockery. "And this is for you," he pushed an untidily wrapped box shyly towards Fraser. "A sorta apartment-warming present."

Fraser stared at the box for a moment not used to receiving presents. "You didn't need to buy me a present," he said turning towards Ray who was blushing.

"I know," Ray shrugged his shoulders again. "But I wanted to." He indicated the box. "Well are you gonna open it or just look at it?"

"Oh yes," Fraser murmured. Turning his attention back to the box, he carefully tore the paper of his gift, revealing a small portable cd player.

"Figured you wouldn't have one," Ray said. "I put a couple of cds in there too, but I wasn't sure what you liked so I just got easy listening ones."

Fraser turned back to Ray smiling. "Oh Ray," he said. "It's wonderful. Thank you kindly."

"It's OK Frase," Ray blushed again. "Thought you and Dief could listen to music at night or dance if you wanna." Fraser grinned at Ray raising an eyebrow. "You. Not Dief I mean," Ray corrected himself. "Although bet old Dief can dance when he wants to."

"I am sure he can," Fraser agreed smiling at the thought of Diefenbaker dancing. "But I have always found it better to dance with a partner, who has two legs."

"Yeah," Ray murmured and Fraser saw a look of sadness flash into the pale eyes, and just as quickly disappear. Fraser imagined that he could see a lonely and miserable Ray dancing alone in the darkness of his apartment when Stella was out at one of the many dinners she seemed to attend.

"But we shall both enjoy the music," Fraser added quickly. " Thank you again Ray for the very kind gift," he picked up the player and cds disappearing into the living room.

Ray smiled to himself and his heart lurched with a feeling that was now becoming familiar to him when he thought about Fraser. Ray liked doing nice things for Fraser; he was always so appreciative and his thanks were warm and genuine, unlike Stella who always seemed to be either angry or irritated with him nowadays when she wasn't ignoring him.

Ray didn't understand the feelings that Fraser seemed to be stirring within him, and had tried to dismiss them as a side effect of his recent unhappiness with Stella and his marriage. However, the feelings were becoming stronger and Ray was finding it increasingly difficult to conceal his misery from Fraser, as well as his growing affection. Ray didn't seem able to ignore the feelings, and they filled him with a mixture of fear and excitement even though guilt gnawed away at his insides when his traitorous thoughts turned back to Stella and their marriage.

Ray sighed heavily to himself turning to the box to start unpacking his mother's crockery. Carefully unwrapping a cup, he fingered the delicate pattern smiling at the memory of his mother getting out what she called her special tea set whenever she had visitors.

"It's beautiful," Fraser said from behind him. "I shall enjoy drinking my bark tea from your mother's cups," Fraser moved back into the kitchen to help Ray unpack.

"They're her favourites," Ray said. "She thought Stell might like them, but well...," Ray paused staring down at the cup in his hand; he looked sideways at Fraser, a sad look on his face. "Mum would be happy that someone is getting some use and enjoyment out of them," he said changing the subject and the expression on his face quickly.

"I'll take good care of them," Fraser promised. Returning to the task of unpacking, Fraser put his hand in the box at the same time as Ray; their hands touched and Fraser thought he could feel the electricity the touch produced right down to his nerve endings. He sucked in a silent breath glancing at Ray, who was staring at their hands transfixed. Fraser's old fashioned clock ticked loudly, the sound echoing around the apartment marking the seconds they stood, hands still touching. Fraser pulled his hand away first hoping that Ray couldn't hear his heart pounding loudly in his chest.

"So Frase," Ray glanced sideways at him smiling slightly. "We gonna christen my Mum's plates?" he whispered not wanting to break the mood. "Pizza for two?" he asked as he retrieved his cell phone from the kitchen counter.

Fraser nodded silently continuing to unpack the china trying to calm his racing heart and ragged nerves. His back to Ray, Fraser didn't notice the looks that his friend was giving him - looks of warmth and affection.

**************

A week later saw Ray and Fraser in the mens' room of the 27^th precinct, Ray sitting on the basin counter wiggling and complaining as Fraser tried to treat injuries to his knees and hands.

They had been assisting Huey and Dewey arrest a known felon, and Ray had found himself dragged along an alleyway as he had tried to apprehend the very large man, who was reluctant to be arrested. Fraser finally had to jump on top of the man, sitting on him, until Huey and Dewey had caught up to arrest the man.

"Ouch," Ray cried as Fraser dabbed at his knee again. "Frase. That hurts," he whined trying to wriggle away from Fraser.

"Well if you stopped wriggling," Fraser said in exasperation as he looked up at Ray. "It might it easier for me to treat your injuries. Or alternatively I could drive you to the hospital for treatment."

"Sorry Frase," Ray mumbled, the threat of the hospital immediately stopping his squirming. Screwing up his eyes, Ray gripped the edge of the counter drawing in a sharp breath as Fraser dabbed at his knee again, this time with a liquid antiseptic that Francesca Vecchio had found for him.

"That's quite alright Ray," Fraser smirked at Ray's pained expression and attempt to stop squirming.

"That's totally un-Mountie like," Ray accused opening his eyes once the stinging had subsided. "Don't they teach you at Mountie school to warn a guy when yer gonna put acid on their injured in the call of duty knees?"

"Now you're being silly Ray," Fraser chuckled. "It's antiseptic, not acid." Fraser was glad to have something to distract him from thinking about having the object of his desire sitting on the bathroom counter, his jeans bunched at his ankles, as he attempted to treat his grazed knees and hands. He hoped that Ray hadn't noticed his shaking hands as he ministered to him.

"Well it still hurts," Ray grumbled as he watched Fraser deftly bandaging up his grazed knees. Despite his complaining and wriggling Ray thought that Fraser had surprisingly smooth hands, enjoying their warmth and softness against his skin as Fraser carefully secured the bandaging with tape.

"I'll get you some candy for being good," Fraser teased standing back to let Ray off the counter. "All done." He began tidying up his supplies in an effort to avoid watching Ray pull his jeans up over slender legs and thighs. When Fraser was satisfied that Ray was dressed, he glanced sideways. "I think your jeans will need some repairs," he indicated the ragged holes in the knees of Ray's jeans.

"I'll cut them down to make a pair of shorts," Ray grinned. "It'll be kinder than subjecting them to my sewing skills, which I have to say are sorta non-existant."

"I see," Fraser smiled back. "Now let's look at your hands," he instructed.

Ray scowled, his head lolling back in exasperation as he obediently held his hands out to Fraser for inspection. Ray slid back onto the counter as Fraser took his hands in his. Fraser inspected the slender hands closely; Ray had surprisingly beautiful hands for a man - long fingers, slightly chewed nails and funny shaped, almost double jointed, thumbs. Fraser started to clean Ray's hands, this time being as gentle as he could as he wiped at the angry red scrapes.

Fraser could feel his face getting hotter as he sensed that Ray was watching him intently as he cleaned his hands, and he risked a look up at Ray's face. Ray was staring at him, a small smile playing on his lips, his pale eyes soft and affectionate.

Stepping backwards, Fraser coughed nervously dropping Ray's hands surprised at what he saw in Ray's eyes, the intensity of the gaze shaking his usual calm manner. "I'll just get some antiseptic cream," he stuttered fumbling in the first aid kit trying to compose his nerves.

"You got gentle hands," Ray said quietly. "That is, when yer not trying to launch me into space with yer antiseptic gunk." He grinned at Fraser, his eyes lighting up with mischief.

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser smiled back at Ray. "I'll try to remember not to launch you into space next time," he said as he carefully applied the cream to the palms of Ray's hands.

"Do you wanna come to my place tonight?"Ray asked suddenly. "There's a hockey match on TV. The Hawks are playing the Leafs. We could order in pizza."

"What about Stella?" Fraser asked curious. "Won't she mind?"

"Nah," Ray said. Fraser couldn't help noticing that Ray's eyes seemed to flash with what was becoming a familiar expression of unhappiness every time Stella's name was mentioned. Ray shrugged his shoulders staring down at his grazed hands. "Stell and me.... well we aint really talking at the moment. And anyways, she'll be out at one of them dinners she's always at."

"I see," Fraser said.

"So what do you say?" Ray asked hopefully. "You, me, Dief, pizza and a hockey game."

"Thank you kindly Ray," Fraser replied as he gathered up the first aid box and equipment. "Diefenbaker and I would be delighted to accept your invitation."

Ray beamed jumping off the counter limping towards the door. "I'll even promise not to make deranged comments about the Leafs."

"I think you mean derogatory Ray," Fraser said following his partner out of the door.

"That's what I said," Ray protested.

"Understood."

***************

The moment Fraser entered Ray's apartment building, Diefenbaker at his heels, he started to wish that he hadn't accepted the invitation, but Ray had looked so hopeful that Fraser hadn't been able to resist. He groaned silently. "I am a Mountie. I am a Mountie," he chanted to himself as he knocked on Ray's door.

"Hiya Frase," Ray opened the door with a grin. "Dief," he knelt down ruffling the wolf's soft fur making Diefenbaker whine with pleasure. "Come in Frase. Make yourself at home," Ray took his jacket and stetson waving him towards the large airy living room. "I'll just order the pizza."

"Thank you kindly," Fraser wandered into the living room; he had never been to Ray's apartment before and couldn't help studying his surroundings with a keen interest, hoping to learn more about Ray from his home.

Fraser frowned; the room was not what he had expected. Large pale blue coloured couches dominated the centre of the room, which was immaculate and neat with highly polished surfaces. Clinical white walls were adorned with gaudy modern art, and glass shelves along one wall displayed expensive looking ornaments which were arranged in orderly rows. Fraser noticed that the shelves contained no books, cds or family pictures. The occasional large sculpture was displayed around the room on small glass tables, giving the room a modern museum look. The symmetry of the room and its furnishings pleased Fraser, although it seemed, even to him, cold and impersonal. Fraser glanced around again - the room somehow didn't fit with the Ray he knew and loved.

Fraser walked over to the nearest wall to study a large modern art painting of green, orange and red triangles and squares which were overlapped by a purple circle. He cocked his head to one side trying to work out the meaning of the picture.

Ray watched Fraser silently from the door; he squinted slightly and could make out his friend's puzzled expressions as Fraser carefully studied the furnishing and paintings contained in the room. Fraser had stopped to inspect Stella's favourite painting.

Ray sighed to himself. "Pizza's ordered," he said brightly ambling into the room to stand next to Fraser. "So what do you think?" Ray waved his hand at the painting.

Fraser glanced sideways at Ray and then turned back to the painting. "Well," he cleared his throat nervously. "It's very interesting."

Ray smirked. "You hate it right?"

"Well I wouldn't say hate," Fraser protested blushing.

"Don't worry Frase," Ray waved a hand dismissively. "I hate it too. But Stell likes it so it stays," he walked over to one of the couches slumping down. "But as far as I can see it's nothing like a painting should be. It's just ... just a geometry lesson."

"Well I am sure that the artist knew what he was doing," Fraser said moving over to the couch, sitting next to Ray.

"You think?" Ray grinned. "I tease Stell that if I ever met the guy who painted it, I would arrest him for assault on a canvas with a deadly weapon."

Diefenbaker whined jumping up on the couch nudging Ray's hand impatiently. "OK Dief," Ray stroked the wolf's nose. "The pizza won't be long." Diefenbaker licked Ray's hand lovingly.

"Diefenbaker," Fraser scolded. "Get off the couch this minute. You're not at home now." Diefenbaker turned from Ray appearing to scowl at Fraser.

"It's OK Frase," Ray assured ruffling Diefenbaker's fur. "He won't hurt anything."

"I am sure that Stella wouldn't agree," Fraser glared at the wolf. "To an arctic wolf laying all over her very nice furniture."

"It's my home too," Ray snapped. "And I said he can stay where he is. OK?"

Fraser studied Ray for a moment, the sad faraway look was back in his eyes. "Well as long as you're sure," Fraser smiled. Diefenbaker woofed in triumph snuggling closer to Ray.

"Sorry Frase. Didn't mean to snap," Ray apologised idly stroking Diefenbaker's back as he stared into the distance, lost in his thoughts.

"It's quite alright," Fraser answered. "I'm afraid that Diefenbaker does has a habit of making himself at home," he scowled again at the wolf. "And I didn't want him to damage anything."

Ray shook his head dismissing his unhappy thoughts of Stella. "He's cool," he grinned at Fraser. Diefenbaker rewarded him with a lick which made Ray giggle, his bad mood forgotten.

Fraser smiled back as he glanced around the room again. "You have a beautiful home Ray," he remarked.

"Yeah suppose so," Ray murmured. "Stell and her Mum have good taste. It's just that ..... well it's just.....," he looked sideways at Fraser stopping mid-sentence. "Oh it don't matter. It's not important."

Fraser regarded Ray for a moment, the sadness was back again, and he decided not to ask Ray what he meant. "I suppose it must difficult for you and Stella. Your assignment," he said instead.

"Nah. Not really. The Feds organised everything," Ray replied. "And Stell gets assigned to my cases if they get to court. So you see. Ray Kowalski is no more, and your friend Ray Vecchio gets to live with Stella Kowalski," Ray smiled at Fraser but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

The door bell rung interrupting Fraser's reply, but he smiled back warmly at Ray as he leapt up to answer the door, Diefenbaker close at his heels.

They sat watching the hockey game as they shared the pizza, Ray and Diefenbaker cheering on the Hawks, Fraser the Leafs. They argued and teased each other when a member of their team was consigned to the sin bin for a foul of some kind.

Ray lay back switching off the television as the game ended, the Toronto Maple Leafs victorious. "You were lucky," Ray teased grinning.

"It was just a case of the better team winning Ray," Fraser protested returning the grin.

"OK. I give up," Ray put his hands up in defeat. "Do you want some tea?"

"Yes thank you kindly Ray," Fraser answered as Ray headed towards the kitchen. "May I use the facilities?"

"Yeah sure," Ray said over his shoulder. "Just through that door."

On his way back from the bathroom, Fraser noted a door slightly ajar to his right. Curious, and not being able to resist, he pushed on the door. Fraser stared open mouthed at the small room; completely different from the rest of the ornately and starkly decorated apartment, this room was obviously Ray's and his alone.

The walls were painted a soft spice colour giving the room a warm glow; a bicycle hung from one wall, and shelves along the opposite wall held numerous books stacked in a haphazard fashion. Various mementos and small ornaments, including a wooden turtle, were positioned randomly on the shelves. The third wall was adorned with framed pictures of family Fraser suspected. A glass tank sat on a small table by the window; Fraser squinted surprised to see a small turtle laying amongst the rocks at the bottom of the tank. A sound system sat in one corner, cds neatly stacked on the shelving unit next to it. An old fashioned wooden desk was against the picture-adorned wall, the surface covered with papers and magazines. More framed pictures were arranged on the top of the desk, a small toy car in their midst.

A comfortable looking couch dominated the centre of the room, a patchwork quilt screwed up on the cushions, a pillow on the floor. Fraser suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness; the evidence suggested that Ray spent his days here, and probably some of his nights as well.

Fraser took a final look around the room, which spoke so much of Ray; his energetic personality and character shone out from the small room in its cluttered untidiness, and its warmth and homeliness. Turning he bumped into a grinning Ray as he started back towards the living room.

"So you discovered my guilty secret," Ray grinned.

"Oh Ray," Fraser blushed profusely. "I apologise. It was totally unacceptable and completely inexcusable of me to invade your privacy. I am so sorry."

"It's OK Frase," Ray raised his eyes in exasperation. "Well now yer here, come on in," he walked into the room absently retrieving the pillow from the floor placing it on the couch as he slumped down. Diefenbaker had joined them and was now eyeing the turtle with obvious interest.

"Hey Dief," Ray called. "You be nice to Vin. He aint lunch." Diefenbaker bored with the turtle leapt onto the couch to be near to his favourite American laying his head contentedly on Ray's lap.

Fraser had hesitantly entered the small room, still embarrassed at being caught. "I am sorry Ray," he repeated again. "It was unforgivable of me."

"Frase," Ray interrupted. "Chill. It's no big deal. OK?" He patted the couch. "Come in. Sit down."

Fraser pointed at the turtle. "That's an interesting name for a turtle," he said cocking his head to one side.

"What Vin? Oh yeah. Suppose it is." Ray chuckled. "You know... named after Steve McQueen's character in The Magnificent Seven."

"Ahhh I see," Fraser said absently, his attention focused on an easel and canvas that had been placed behind the door. He recognised Diefenbaker immediately; the artist had captured perfectly the mixture of mischief and stubborness in the wolf's expression. Moving closer to the painting, Fraser marvelled at the fine brush strokes which seemed to lovingly recreate the wolf's soft white fur so well that Fraser thought if he touched the painting, he would be able to feel the softness.

"It's beautiful," he turned towards Ray, who was blushing, trying to hide his head in Diefenbaker's fur.

"Thought I'd covered that up," Ray dismissed bashfully getting to his feet. "Was gonna give it to you for yer birthday. It aint really finished yet."

Fraser turned back to the painting. "I would be honoured to own such a beautiful painting. You have captured Diefenbaker so well. It's amazing he sat still for so long."

"He didn't," Ray joined Fraser at the painting. "Did it from memory."

"You did this?" Fraser pointed at the painting incredulous. "From memory."

"Yeah," Ray answered modestly. "Not much else to do when Stell is at one of her dinners. So I escape here. Listen to my music. Talk to Vin. You know..... just hang out. And sometimes I paint."

"Real paintings, not geometry lessons," Fraser interrupted smiling warmly at Ray.

Ray blushed at the compliment glancing sideways at Fraser. They stared directly into each other's eyes - eyes that seemed to say so much as they silently conveyed their feelings of friendship, partnership and affection towards each other, as well as their feelings of loneliness and unhappiness.

Fraser could feel Ray's breath hot on his skin, like flames of a fire licking at their victim, and as he stared into the depths of Ray's eyes, Fraser thought he could also see love and need. He reached up a hand to touch Ray's face. Ray smiled holding his gaze steadily, not turning away. Suddenly afraid, Fraser stepped back dropping his hand breaking the spell that had locked the two men into a shared moment of time.

"I should go," Fraser stammered moving towards the door. "I have an early shift tomorrow," he motioned to Diefenbaker to follow.

"Yeah OK," Ray whispered smiling shyly at Fraser, his expression still affectionate, but a hint of disappointment was masked behind the look. "I enjoyed tonight. We should do it again," he suggested, a hopeful tone in his voice as he followed Fraser to the door.

"Yes," Fraser turned smiling. "I would like that Ray. Very much."

"Good," Ray grinned. "I'll pick you up as usual on Monday morning. Hope you and Dief have a good weekend."

"We will, "Fraser replied, his voice businesslike as he struggled with his jumbled up emotions. "Thank you kindly. You too."

"Yeah," Ray shrugged. "Stell's working tomorrow on some important case. So guess I'll finish yer painting."

"I look forward to seeing the finished version," Fraser said shrugging on his jacket placing his stetson firmly on his head. "I'll see you on Monday. Good night. And thank you again for this evening."

"It's OK," Ray smiled. "Night," he watched as Fraser strode along the corridor, Diefenbaker at his heels, disappearing around the corner as he headed towards the stairs.

Ray shut the door, sliding to the floor, his arms wrapped around his body. "Oh God," he sighed to himself as he rested his chin on his knees. Ray had wanted to kiss Fraser, had needed to kiss him, and he was sure that he saw identical feelings mirrored in Fraser's eyes. Ray was absolutely certain now that what he had been feeling for months was love; Fraser made him feel safe and secure, unlike Stella who only made him feel stupid and worthless. Ray couldn't believe he was feeling this way about Fraser, and immediately was racked with guilt as he thought about Stella. "What am I gonna do?" he asked himself. "I love Fraser."

***************

Fraser strode down the street, Diefenbaker trotting happily at his side, enjoying the brisk night air. Fraser had come to terms with his feelings about Ray, but after the events of the evening, his mind was in complete turmoil. He was positive that he had seen love and need reflected in Ray's eyes, and it frightened him that he had nearly given in to temptation.

Fraser decided that he would have to be extremely careful not to betray any further feelings to his partner arguing it would be the best option for both of them.

Diefenbaker nudged his leg barking once. Fraser looked down at the wolf. "Yes, I like Ray as well," he agreed. "Very much."

**************

Ray stared out of his apartment window across the city, his head resting on the coolness of the glass. Looking down, he watched as the people of Chicago hurried home through the driving rain. He glanced up studying the sky; grey and cloudy, it had been raining all day matching his sombre mood.

Ray turned from the window gazing around the large living room wondering when he had allowed it to become Stella's apartment. He had desperately wanted her to be happy, and had let her consign everything he valued to their small spare room; in his heart knowing that the room would never be used as a nursery.

Fraser had seemed to notice it straight away although he was too polite to say so. Ray had spent the afternoon viewing the apartment through new eyes; he bit his lip in an effort to stifle the threatened tears - when had he lost himself so completely that he had allowed Stella to take control of their life, their home and their marriage.

When they had first married, they had shared everything - their hopes and dreams of a future together. They had been so happy and so in love that they ignored the differences of their backgrounds and had been oblivious to the warnings from their respective families.

Ray didn't want to believe that the dream was over clinging onto the vain hope that Stella would once again love him like she had at the beginning, but his heart was telling him otherwise.

Ray hadn't wanted to admit it to himself - his marriage was over, and had been for a while, his love for Stella lost somewhere between her need for a career and his desire for a family. They had slowly destroyed their love for each other as they had drifted apart choosing differing paths that led away from one another. Ray blamed himself - he had tried his hardest to make things work between them, giving all of himself until he felt drained and tired with the effort. Ray stifled a sob; he had failed miserably, and all he felt now was a loneliness that threatened to overwhelm him and plunge him into a dark abyss.

Ray turned back to stare out of the window across the greyness of the city, his mind drifting absently to thoughts of Fraser. He had spent the small hours of the morning trying to convince himself that he had no feelings for Fraser, but he knew that he was lying to himself. Whenever Stella was at a dinner party or out of town, Ray had sought Fraser out, and they had spent many happy hours at hockey matches, the cinema, having dinner or just taking Diefenbaker for a walk. Fraser had filled the hole that Stella had left as she busily pursued her career. Ray just hadn't realised until last night that Fraser had also filled the void in his heart. "Oh God," Ray leaned his head against the glass again. "You were dating the Mountie and didn't know it. Stupid jerk," he banged his head on the glass.

His confused and jumbled musings were interrupted by Stella coming into the living room. "Hi Ray," she said putting her keys on the glass coffee table. "I'm back."

"You done at the office?" Ray asked without turning from the window, not wanting her to see his unhappiness and confusion.

"Yes all done for now," Stella smiled as she headed towards the bedroom. "Now I have a hour before Dennis picks me up. And I need to shower. Pack. And then..."

"What do you mean pack?" Ray interrupted turning from his study of the grey city. "I didn't know you were going anywhere."

"Ray," Stella turned back to him. "I told you last week that I would be away for ten days at a conference and then a training session in New York City. Don't tell me you've forgotten already," she scowled at Ray. "You really are impossible."

"No," Ray protested. "You didn't tell me. I woulda remembered if you were gonna be away."

"No Ray," Stella said firmly. "You probably weren't listening as usual. Too busy playing with that overgrown boy scout."

"Fraser's not a boy scout," Ray defended. "He's my best friend and partner."

"Whatever you say Ray," Stella snapped. "All he seems to do is put your life and his at risk with no thought whatsoever to the consequences. I'll be glad when this assignment is over and done with. Then we can get back to our life."

"I like this assignment," Ray said. "It's an important one, and I'm doing a good job."

"I'm sure you are honey," Stella moved forwards rubbing her hands up Ray's arms. "But you could do so much better for yourself." She kissed the tip of his nose, not noticing that he flinched at her touch.

"You mean. Take the job in yer Dad's company," Ray scowled pushing away from Stella starting to pace the living room. "I'd die in a job like that Stell. Being a cop's all I ever wanted. All I ever want. I thought you understood that."

"Guess I have no choice," Stella said unkindly. "Even though you nearly lost your parents over your choice to become a police officer."

"Mum and Dad came round in the end," Ray said softly stopping mid stride. He looked down at his shoes, biting at his bottom lip.

"Oh yes. They came round, but it took them over eight years," Stella countered. "Was your stubborness worth all that pain and hurt?"

"I think so," Ray stared directly at Stella. "And you used to think so as well."

Stella stared back narrowing her eyes. "People change," she said as she stalked towards the bedroom.

Ray could hear Stella moving around in the bedroom as she packed her suitcase. Taking a deep breath Ray moved towards the bedroom; leaning up against the door frame, watching as Stella neatly folded her business suits into the open suitcase on the bed. Ray bit at his bottom lip wondering where the carefree Stella he had loved and married had disappeared to. "Oh Stell," he thought to himself as he watched the elegant, businesslike stranger move around the room. "Where did you go? Where did we go?" Ray's heart mourned for what they had lost; he waited for the familiar pain to overwhelm him, surprised when it failed to materialise realising that he had finally started to let Stella go.

"Stell," Ray murmured. "Can we talk?"

"Ray," Stella looked up irritated. "Why do you always want to talk when I'm in a hurry?"

"It's important," Ray persisted moving into the room perching on the edge of the bed.

"It always is," Stella sighed sitting down on the bed. "OK. I am all yours," she looked at her watch. "For ten minutes. What do you want to talk about?"

Ray took a deep breath looking directly at Stella. " I think we ..... we should talk about taking a break... break from each other for a while. To give us a .... a chance to think things through a bit," he stammered looking down picking at the seams of his jeans. "May be even think about a trial .... trial separation."

"I think that's an excellent idea Ray," Stella said standing up returning to packing her case.

"You do?" Ray said looking up surprised at the ease of her agreement.

"Yes I do," Stella replied as she lay a skirt carefully in the suitcase. "Not the trial separation. I don't think that's necessary, but the break is a good idea."

"Oh," Ray muttered.

"What did you think I was going to say?" Stella asked as she shut the suitcase.

"Don't know," Ray admitted dropping his head again. "It's just that we usually end up fighting. Then we don't speak to each other. Then we kinda forget about the talking stuff."

"Look Ray," Stella sat down next to him. "We both know that we're not happy at the moment. And we haven't been for a long time. Since you took up this damn assignment really. I always thought it was a mistake."

"Stell," Ray started to protest.

"I'm away for ten days," Stella interrupted ignoring Ray's protests. "And I think the break will do us good. Give us both time to think."

"So we can't talk about things now?" Ray asked.

"No Ray," Stella stood up. "I really haven't got time to talk now, but we will when I get back. I promise," Stella slipped out of her skirt. "Perhaps we can even talk again about you taking up my father's offer. I am sure we can find a way out of this assignment for you. But we'll have a long talk and work things out. OK?"

"No Stell," Ray said making Stella swing round a look of surprise on her face. "It's not OK. It's important. And I wanna talk about it now. Us being unhappy hasn't got anything to do with my assignment and you .... you know it."

"Ray," Stella snapped. "I told you that Dennis is picking me up in," she glanced down at her watch again. "About thirty minutes. We don't have time to talk now."

"So delay yer trip," Ray suggested. "Or isn't our marriage important enough?" he challenged, already knowing the answer.

"Ray," Stella narrowed her eyes at Ray, her hands on her hips. "Now you are being unreasonable. This conference and training course is important....," she started to say.

"I know," Ray interrupted putting his hand in the air stopping her mid-sentence. "It's important to yer career. Guess you just answered my question." He turned his back on Stella leaving the bedroom.

"Ray," Stella shouted after him. "Don't be ridiculous. I said we'd talk when I get home."

"Have a good conference," Ray countered as he walked back into the living room. He stared distractedly at the gold band on his ring finger - it represented all their hopes and dreams, now lost forever. Bye Stell," Ray whispered as he removed the ring placing it down on one of the glass tables next to Stella's favourite sculpture of a solitary woman.

He closed the apartment door behind him, his eyes watering as he strode along the corridor towards the stairs. Ray paused at the top of the steps of the apartment building looking left and right trying to decide which way to go, only knowing that he had to escape from the apartment, his life and Stella.

Running down the steps, Ray turned right and ran along the road, his tears now blinding him, and he wiped at them with a wet sleeve trying to clear his vision. He continued to run along the street disregarding the driving rain as it bounced off his skin and hair, soaking his clothes. Ray ignored the strange looks from people as his feet pounded the soaking pavements. Driven on by his need to escape, Ray headed towards a small park.

The park was deserted, the rain having driven everyone to their warm, dry homes. His lungs screaming from the exertion, Ray slowed his pace jogging along the path towards the lake. Slumping down on a wooden bench, Ray stared out across the lake watching distractedly as the rain pounded the lake's surface, causing a rippling effect across the usually calm bluegreen water. Small waves lapped at the grass edge of the lake, the water splashing onto the bank making a series of smaller puddles.

Ray wiped at his tears, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. The silence around him seemed to pound his ears, and Ray felt like screaming to break the oppressive quietness surrounding him. Restless with thoughts of Stella and Fraser bombarding his mind, Ray stood up pacing up and down as he battled to make sense of his muddled and confused thoughts and feelings.

Frustrated, Ray leaped up onto the wooden bench raising his hands in the air above his head. "Fraser," he screamed into the silence, his lonely voice echoing around the small park. He listened intently for an answer. Hearing none, Ray jumped back to the ground. "Fraser," he whispered wrapping his arms around his body as he slumped to his knees, ignoring the wetness of the grass. He tried to blink back tears of despair and loneliness. "Fraser," Ray whispered again as he buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

**************

Fraser looked up from his book; cocking his head to one side, he listened to the wind howling outside the apartment and the rain pounding against the windows. He turned back to his book glad that he was safe, dry and warm in the apartment.

Diefenbaker whined at the loud knocking on the door. Fraser put his book to one side padding across the floor to answer the door.

"Ray," he said surprised as he opened the door. "What an earth?"

"It's raining," Ray mumbled.

Fraser took a moment to study his friend closely; dressed in a cotton shirt and jeans, Ray was soaked, his spiky hair flat to his head. His thin face was pale, and his eyes red rimmed from crying Fraser suspected. He looked lost and miserable, his eyes looked downwards as he kicked at the floor nervously. Fraser could almost see the storm reflected in Ray's pale bloodshot eyes.

"I see," Fraser said calmly stepping aside to let Ray into the apartment.

Ray stood hesitantly in the hallway biting on his bottom lip, his arms wrapped around his body defensively, starting to regret this decision to run to Fraser. After an hour and a half sitting in the small park, Ray had found himself walking in the direction of Fraser's apartment, his feet taking him towards what his heart knew was a safe haven. "I shouldn't have come," he turned to go. "Sorry Frase."

"No Ray," Fraser went to touch Ray and was surprised when Ray flinched away from his hand. "Ray," he persuaded dropping his hand. "I can't let you go back out there. You'll catch your death of cold."

Ray seemed to hesitate again, but finally nodded following Fraser into the living room. Diefenbaker danced around his legs happy to see him, and Ray crouched down to ruffle the wolf's head, avoiding looking at Fraser. Fraser's sharp eyes noticed that the gold wedding band was missing from Ray's ring finger. "Hiya Dief," Ray murmured. Diefenbaker whined licking at Ray's face. "Love you too," Ray said getting to his feet. He shivered and wrapped his arms around his body again.

"Ray. Why don't you take your clothes off?" Fraser started to say.

"Frase," Ray interrupted, a small smile played on his lips. "I didn't know you cared."

"I was going to say," Fraser blushed furiously going as red as his serge. "Before I was rudely interrupted. That you should take your wet clothes off. Take a hot shower. And I will lend you some clothes while yours dry."

Ray stared at Fraser for a moment. "OK," he finally agreed following Fraser towards the small en suite bathroom. Fraser handed Ray some towels. "I'll put some dry clothes here," he indicated a small stool in the corner. "Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thanks Frase," Ray nodded.

"You're welcome Ray," Fraser turned to leave the bathroom. "And Ray I do care about you. Very much," he said as he closed the door.

Ray stared at the closed bathroom door hugging the towels to his body. "Care about you too Frase," he whispered to the closed door.

Quickly stripping off his wet clothes, Ray stepped into the shower. Fumbling with the unfamiliar taps, he managed to adjust the temperature of the water. He turned his head upwards letting the hot water beat down on his body warming his chilled body turning his pale skin a flushed pink colour.

Ray stifled a sob knowing that the water couldn't warm his heart and soul; he felt totally empty and alone, having finally let go of a large part of his life. Dropping to his knees, he pressed his head into the corner of the shower unit trying to muffle the sounds as he silently cried. The insistent spray of the shower pounded his back as Ray rocked back and forth, his arms wrapped around his body.

Fraser paced up and down his small living room; he had placed some clean clothes in the bathroom and had heard Ray sobbing silently. It took all his will not to pull back the shower curtain and take his partner into his arms soothing away the pain and hurt. Instead Fraser had retreated to the kitchen to start warming up some soup, easing his nerves by busying himself with mundane tasks. Ray was obviously upset, his every action betrayed the misery he could no longer hide behind a smile, and Fraser knew that he would have to be careful in handling a potentially explosive situation.

Fraser looked up as Ray appeared in the living room. Barefoot, Ray was dressed in his jeans and fleece checked shirt, his blonde hair sticking up more wildly than usual where Ray had dried it. A few pounds heavier than Ray, Fraser noticed that his jeans hung loosely on Ray's hips, his shirt too long in the sleeves. Fraser smiled to himself thinking that Ray looked like the small child who had been given his older, much bigger, brother's clothes to wear. He frowned noticing that Ray's face still seemed to display the lost and haunted expression he had arrived with.

"You know Frase," Ray looked around the small apartment. "I never told you what a nice home you have here. Yer real lucky."

"You have a lovely home as well Ray," Fraser said; he immediately regretted the words as he noticed tears springing to Ray's eyes.

"Oh yeah," Ray choking back the tears. "Don't yer mean Stella's home. It aint mine. I let her make it her home. There's nothing that's me there. You saw it. I know you did."

"Oh Ray," Fraser said.

"Why does everyone want me to be someone else?" Ray's voice cracked slightly as he stared at Fraser intently. "Stell wants me to be someone smarter. Someone who wears a suit and works for her Dad. The Feds want me to be Ray Vecchio," he stared at the floor, tears flowed freely and silently down his face. "I don't know who I am any more. I lost me," Ray tried to choke back the tears. "And I don't know how to find me any more."

"I know who you are Ray," Fraser said, his voice steady. "You are Stanley Raymond Kowalski. My best friend and partner. And I wouldn't change anything about you. I lo...like you as you are."

"Well yer the only one then," Ray croaked as he balled his hands into fists in an effort to control his ragged emotions. "Oh Frase," he whispered. "I don't know what to do."

Fraser stepped forward quickly pulling Ray towards him into a light embrace. Ray tried to struggle against Fraser's arms, softly pounding his fists into Fraser's chest. "Ray," Fraser whispered tightening his embrace. Ray finally gave up the struggle and the pounding as he leant against Fraser sobbing. "Ssshh Ray," Fraser soothed as he rubbed his hands over Ray's back gently. "It's alright," he breathed

Fraser couldn't understand all of what Ray was muttering between heart wrenching sobs, ragged breathing, loud sniffs and hiccups, but Fraser thought he heard certain words - Stella. Dream. Over. Marriage. Ray kept repeating himself as he cried; Fraser held him tight whispering soothing words until the storm started to die down.

Finally Ray pulled back sniffing loudly as he wiped at his reddened eyes. "Sorry Frase," he apologised quietly. "Just being a jerk."

"Not at all," Fraser frowned; Ray looked exhausted, lines of tiredness etched his pale face. He led Ray towards the couch forcing him to sit down. Disappearing into the bathroom Fraser returned with a warm cloth for Ray to wipe his face with. Ray smiled wearily at him accepting the cloth. "Would you like me to call Stella? Tell her that you're alright," Fraser asked gently as he knelt in front of Ray.

Ray regarded Fraser; his dark eyes were so full of compassion and kindness that he almost burst into tears again. "No," he murmured clenching his fists in an effort to control his emotions. "She'll be half way to New York City by now for one of her conferences."

"Are you sure?" Fraser asked kindly putting a hand on Ray's knee in comfort.

"Yeah," Ray nodded his head. "Thanks Frase."

"Alright Ray," Fraser agreed. "I've made us some soup. Would you like some?"

"Yeah," Ray nodded again. "Thanks."

Fraser squeezed Ray's knee gently before getting to his feet, disappearing into the kitchen to reheat the soup. Pouring the soup into two bowls, he set them onto a tray carrying it into the living room. Fraser smiled to himself at the sight before him; Ray was laying on the couch fast asleep, one hand slung over his head, one hand dangling off the couch, lightly touching Diefenbaker who had settled himself by his friend protectively.

Putting the tray on the floor, Fraser retrieved a blanket from his bedroom tucking it snugly around his friend, not being able to resist stroking stray strands of blonde hair out of Ray's eyes. Ray stirred in his sleep turning onto his side smiling slightly at the touch. "Don't worry Ray," he whispered. "I'll be here for you," Fraser sat back in the armchair silently watching his friend sleep.

**************

Fraser let himself into the apartment, Diefenbaker bounding in ahead of him. They had just returned from their early morning usual walk leaving Ray asleep on the couch. "Ray," he called. Moving into the living room, Fraser was disappointed to find that Ray had left. Diefenbaker barked nosing a slip of paper on the coffee table.

"Thank you Diefenbaker," Fraser said picking up the slip of paper scanning the contents; it was written in Ray's untidy scrawl, short and to the point.

Frase, Ben,

Thanks for everything. Especially for being my friend. I'll bring your clothes back.

Ray

Fraser smiled at the use of his first name as he re-read the short note. Shrugging out of his jacket, he moved into the kitchen to make himself a cup of bark tea.

Fraser spent the remainder of the day cleaning the apartment from top to bottom in an effort to stop himself worrying about Ray. Fraser nearly weakened as he was polishing the telephone, but decided against calling Ray not wanting to further upset his friend. There was a knock at the door as he was putting the vacuum neatly into the tiny hall closet.

Opening the door, Fraser was surprised to see Ray standing in the corridor shifting nervously from one foot to the other. "Hiya Frase," Ray said shyly. "Bought yer clothes back," he thrust a bag into Fraser's hands. "I aint good at ironing so they won't be up to yer usual Mountie standards."

"That was very kind of you Ray, but it wasn't really necessary for you to launder the clothes," Fraser smiled as he stepped aside to let Ray into the apartment. "And I am sure they will be just fine."

"You aint put the jeans on yet," Ray smiled playfully back at Fraser. The happy expression on his face seemed to cloud over and Ray dropped his eyes staring at his feet, seemingly embarrassed.

"I was just going to make myself a cup of tea," Fraser said trying to ease Ray's embarrassment. "Would you like one?" he moved towards the kitchen.

"Nah," Ray said shoving his hands in his pockets. "I should go. I just came over to return yer things, and say.... you know sorry for acting.... like a little kid last night."

"Ray," Fraser turned towards his friend. "You were not acting like a little kid as you put it. You were upset. And it is quite understandable when...." Fraser paused looking for the right words.

"Yer marriage is over. Yer wife hates you so much she hasn't got time to talk to you any more," Ray interrupted, his voice cracking slightly. "Or yer life sucks so much, you take over someone else's life to try and escape from it and yourself."

"Ray," Fraser scolded. "That's not what I was going to say."

"It's OK Frase," Ray put his hand up brushing aside Fraser's protests. He stared directly at Fraser, his blue eyes searching Fraser's face for any trace of pity, but he only found the affection, compassion and warmth that he had seen the night before shining out from the dark eyes. "Do you know? Yer the only good thing in my life," Ray admitted shyly. "I'm glad yer my friend and partner."

Fraser held Ray's gaze steadily beaming at the compliment. He thought Ray looked so alone and vulnerable standing with his hands in his pockets as he stared at his boots nervously shifting from one foot to the other. Fraser thought Ray was utterly beautiful, and he couldn't resist the temptation any longer.

Fraser knew the risk he was taking, knew that Ray could hurt him, even more than Victoria ever had. Moving forwards, Fraser took Ray by surprise and into his arms claiming Ray's lips in a gentle kiss, full of love and warmth. Ray struggled against the embrace for a moment before succumbing to the inevitable. Melting into Fraser's arms, Ray returned the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Fraser squeezing slightly.

Breathless, Ray stepped back staring at Fraser, the slender fingers of one hand touching his lips where Fraser had kissed him, his lips still tingling with the electricity the kiss had caused.

"Ray... I," Fraser stuttered blushing bright red.

Ray put his free hand up waving aside Fraser's protestations stopping him mid-sentence. "Nah. Don't Frase," Ray whispered his fingers still touching his lips. "Don't spoil it. Don't say anything." Ray turned towards the door. "Gotta think," he mumbled as he opened the door. "Gotta go."

Fraser stepped forward grabbing at Ray's arm, shutting the door firmly with his free hand. "Don't go Ray, " he pleaded. "Stay." He moved closer still holding onto Ray's arm. "Please."

"Why?" Ray dropped his head staring at his boots as he kicked distractedly at the floor. "Why should I stay Frase?" he lifted his head staring directly into Fraser's eyes. "Give me one good reason why I should stay?"

Fraser stood on the edge of the abyss that was his love for Ray, his father's words echoing in his head:

"Buck Frobisher and I stood across from each other on the banks of that river and we knew without even speaking. We knew that we had come to the same conclusion. We knew sometimes you just have to make a leap. Sometimes you just have to leap".

Fraser decided to take the leap - a leap of faith towards what he hoped was love and his future. Taking a deep breath, Fraser stared back at Ray, his gaze unwavering. "Because I love you Ray," he answered quietly. "Because I need you like I have never needed anyone before."

"Oh," Ray stammered. "So that.... that was....."

"A loving kiss Ray," Fraser smiled dropping his hand from Ray's arm until he clasped a slender hand tightly. "I have wanted to kiss you for a long time now." He squeezed Ray's hand gently. "And I think you feel the same."

"But I'm married," Ray mumbled. "You can't love me.... I can't love you."

"Why?" Fraser asked, his voice remaining calm.

"Because," Ray shrugged dropping his gaze from Fraser's face pulling his hand out of Fraser's grip. "Because.... I'm nothing. I suck at everything. My life, my marriage. You name it, and I suck at it." He turned towards the wall trying to hide the tears that he could feel welling up in his eyes and he wiped at them. "I'll just.... just hurt you. And I .... I couldn't bear that."

"Ray," Fraser whispered. "I'll risk it."

"No," Ray shouted whirling on Fraser, his eyes angry, his hands balled into fists. "I won't .... won't let you risk it. Yer too good for me."

"Ray," Fraser moved closer. "Ray."

"No," Ray choked back his tears. "You can't feel anything for me. I won't... won't let you. I won't."

"It's too late Ray," Fraser shouted back, angry that Ray was trying to push him away denying the feelings that both of them had for each other. "I'll show you just how I feel about you," he moved forwards putting his hand behind Ray's head pulling the detective towards him.

Before he could utter a protest, Fraser locked Ray into a tight embrace claiming his lips hungrily, the floodgates of his desire opening, as he forced his tongue into Ray's mouth exploring, licking and sucking. He possessed Ray's lips as though as was never going to let go.

Not able to deny his inner feelings any more, Ray moaned with need as he yielded to Fraser's hunger returning the kisses with a ferocity that surprised him threatening to take this breath away with their intensity. Fraser's hands roamed over his body making his nerve ends tingle with need and desire, and Ray stepped even closer moulding his body against Fraser's luxuriating in the feel of the firm body against his own.

Breathless, Ray pulled back from the kiss; Fraser kept hold of him as though he was afraid to let him go, his hands caressing Ray's back. Desperate to taste Ray again, Fraser pulled on his head impatiently until he touched his lips to Ray's claiming them roughly. They kissed fiercely, the passion that had been smouldering under the surface for months unleashed as they rubbed and thrust against each other.

They began to pull and tug at each other's clothes; Ray's t-shirt came off first and Fraser turned his attention to licking and sucking at the pale skin making Ray groan with desire as he fumbled with Fraser's shirt buttons; he moaned as his hands at last touched Fraser's warm skin, and he ran them across Fraser's broad chest. Fraser growled in the back of this throat moving his hand down gently massaging Ray's growing arousal through his jeans. "Want you," he whispered in Ray's ear. He managed to unbuckle Ray's belt one-handed. Unzipping Ray's jeans, he shoved his hand down into the warmth grasping Ray's fully erect penis. Fraser squeezed and stroked the hardness as Ray moaned and wriggled against his body.

"Want you too," Ray breathed as Fraser released his cock. Fraser forced them down to the floor as they fumbled and struggled with the last of their clothes casting them aside in an untidy heap. Fraser rolled on top of Ray, resting his forehead on Ray's as they delighted in the feel of the other's naked warm skin against their own.

Impatient, Ray thrust his erection upwards making Fraser groan in ecstasy as he once again possessed Ray's lips in a fervent kiss. Ray responded by thrusting his tongue in and out of Fraser's mouth in perfect rhythm to his thrusting hips. Fraser matched the rhythm grinding his cock against Ray's erection. The sound of their love making echoed through the small apartment as they cried out each other's names in passion and suppressed longing, their feelings for each other free at last.

They rolled over and over on the floor fighting for dominance as they kissed and explored each other's bodies with their hands, tongues and mouths, their need and hunger for one another overwhelming them as they writhed against the other's nakedness. Fraser eventually won the struggle flipping Ray onto his back, his legs and arms straddling Ray's lithe body. He smiled down at Ray. Ray smiled back as Fraser leaned down claiming his lips in a gentler kiss.

As one, they began to rock against each other delighting in the friction and feeling as their penises rubbed together. As one, they picked up the rhythm grinding against each other, thrusting harder and harder as their need became more urgent. Ray arched his back off the floor crying out Fraser's name as he felt his penis pulse; he shot his seed between their sweat sheened bodies, jerking uncontrollably as his orgasm overtook him. Seeing and feeling Ray come pushed Fraser over the edge towards oblivion; Ray's name echoed off the apartment walls as Fraser climaxed hard, his penis spurting his own seed between their bodies, joining and mixing with Ray's semen on their stomachs, thighs and hips.

They lay panting trying to catch their breaths, Fraser still covering Ray with his naked body. Fraser recovered first; grabbing for his shirt he gently cleaned them up. Ray smiled shyly at him and Fraser leant forward kissing him gently. Getting to his feet, Fraser offered Ray a hand. Ray smiled again and let himself be hauled to his feet.

Standing in the middle of the living room naked, Ray suddenly felt self conscious and blushed slightly. Fraser took Ray's hand leading him towards the bedroom. Drawing back the quilt Fraser slid into the bed watching as Ray hesitated biting at his bottom lip. Fraser smiled encouragingly opening his arms coaxing Ray into his bed and his arms.

**************

Ray looked up at the clock again; it was nearly five o'clock and Fraser still hadn't contacted him. Ray hadn't been able to keep still all day and he was beginning to worry that Fraser had changed his mind. Every time the door opened, Ray had looked up hoping it was Fraser. Each time the telephone rang, he had snatched the receiver up desperately wanting it be Fraser, and it was driving him nuts.

His thoughts drifted to memories of spending the night with Fraser. After Fraser had coaxed him into bed, they had lain together legs and arms entwined. Fraser had softly encouraged him to talk about Stella, his life and the end of his marriage. Fraser had held him tighter when his voice started to crack or when tears threatened. Ray had never felt so loved and cared for, and they had talked for hours, finally falling asleep in each other's arms in the early hours of the morning.

Ray smiled as he remembered waking in Fraser's arms, feeling safe and warm for the first time in as long as he could remember. Fraser had woken, and a morning greeting had turned into soft kisses which had turned into gentle love making. They took their time to explore one another's body, learning and memorising, as they drowned in the sensual feelings they evoked in each another, feelings of love and desire, feelings that Ray thought he had forgotten. They touched and caressed finally bringing each other to the heights of passion and fulfilment.

Wrapped in each other's arms, they had cuddled in a comfortable contented silence before Fraser had coaxed him out of bed into the shower. They had kissed and touched as they showered, reluctant to let each other go.

After a quick breakfast at a local coffee shop, where they had held hands under the table, Ray had dropped Fraser off at the Consulate. Stealing a quick kiss, Fraser had promised to call Ray during the day.

Ray glanced around the nearly empty squad room; sighing to himself he turned back to his paperwork trying to concentrate and not look at the clock. A familiar voice made him jerk his head up.

"Good afternoon Ray," Fraser smiled as he sat in his usual seat, his stetson balanced on his knees.

"Hiya Frase," Ray tried to keep his voice calm. Fraser cocked his head to one side studying Ray carefully noting that his partner seemed to be fidgeting nervously in his chair. "So. You OK?" Ray finally plucked up the courage to ask.

"I am very well Ray," Fraser smiled back, his dark blue eyes sparkled softening the lines on his face, making him look younger. "Must be the company I keep," he grinned again. "And you? Are you well?"

"Good," Ray lowered his eyes blushing slightly. "I'm good," he fumbled with the files on his desk. He avoided looking at Fraser, suddenly afraid and anxious.

Fraser dragged his chair closer. "What's wrong Ray?" he asked frowning. "Tell me."

Ray raised his head staring directly at Fraser. "It's just.... Are you..... Do you," he stammered. "Oh God," he groaned resting his head on a stack of files.

"Ray," Fraser whispered risking touching Ray's hand. "I meant everything I said last night and this morning. I don't regret our love making. And I hope you don't."

"Oh God. No I don't," Ray raised his head off the files. "It was wonderful. You made me feel.... feel loved and wanted. And I haven't felt like that for a long time," he smiled shyly. "It's just ... just when you didn't call, I thought you might have changed yer mind or something."

"Oh Ray," Fraser sighed wishing he could wrap Ray into a tight embrace in an effort to soothe away all of his pain and insecurity. "I am sorry I couldn't call you, but Inspector Thatcher had me taking notes in a meeting, and I couldn't get away," he explained. "But when the meeting concluded it was late so I thought I would walk over and see you instead of calling."

"Sorry Frase," Ray mumbled feeling guilty that he had doubted Fraser. "Just me being dumb."

"Ray," Fraser inclined his head closer. "I will never regret loving you. In fact I was hoping that you would come to my apartment for dinner tonight. I remember you said that Stella is away at a conference in New York City this week," he blushed, his voice hopeful. "And I thought you might like to stay the night again."

"Yeh," Ray smiled warmly at Fraser. "Yeh. I'd like that."

"Good," Fraser beamed jumping to his feet. "I'll expect you at eight then."

Ray watched as Fraser left the squad room, a foolish grin spreading across his face as he turned back to his files.

**************

Ray drove the GTO into the parking area to Fraser's apartment building. Carefully parking, he sat staring distractedly out of the windscreen for a moment knowing that he should feel guilty, but not being able to stop the feeling of happiness that bubbled up inside him. Fraser made him feel loved, needed and safe - feelings he hadn't experienced for a long time, and he grinned foolishly to himself.

Grabbing his sports bag, Ray slid out of the GTO; carefully locking the door he ambled towards the apartment building, his bag flung casually over his shoulder. It had taken him ages to decide what to wear, and he had eventually settled on a pale green shirt that he had tucked neatly into new black jeans.

Stopping at Fraser's door, he took a deep breath before knocking, suddenly feeling nervous and shy. The door opened; Fraser looked wonderful dressed in pressed blue jeans and a pale blue shirt. "Good evening Ray," Fraser beamed his whole face seeming to dissolve into a warm smile. He stepped aside to let Ray into the apartment.

"Hiya Ben," Ray smiled back; still feeling a little tense he clutched his bag tightly in his hands. "Smells good," he nodded towards the kitchen.

"It's salmon in a watercress sauce," Fraser answered as he disappeared into the small kitchen. "It won't be long."

Ray glanced around the apartment. The lights had been dimmed and candles had been placed around the living room; they flickered making the room glow in their eerie light. The small table was covered in a pale yellow tablecloth, and Ray smiled to himself as he recognised his mother's china and glasses set out on the table. Soft music played in the background which served to relax Ray slightly.

"What's wrong Ray?" Fraser whispered, making Ray jump slightly, as he came up behind him.

"Nothing. I'm good," Ray turned blushing slightly. "It looks nice... you know the apartment," he nodded towards the candles trying to change the subject.

Fraser smiled moving closer. "Thank you kindly," he said as he wrestled Ray's bag from his hands dropping it on the couch. "I was afraid that I had gone too far, but I wanted it to be special for us."

"It is," Ray smiled shyly looking around the apartment again shifting nervously from one foot to the other.

"What's wrong?" Fraser asked again, worried that Ray had changed his mind. "Is it Stella?" he asked softly. "It's alright. I understand."

"Oh God no," Ray interrupted. "I told you last night that Stell and me are .... are over," he stared at his feet embarrassed. "It's just that ... it's been a long time since someone did something nice for me." Ray looked up at Fraser blushing. "And it feels kinda strange that's all."

"Oh Ray," Fraser said, relief evident in his voice, as he pulled Ray into a loose hug. "I like doing nice things for you. You deserve it," he leaned his head forward claiming Ray's lips in a gentle kiss. Pulling back from the kiss, Fraser ran the back of his hand down Ray's face softly. "Alright?" he asked. Ray nodded smiling. "Good. Let's eat," Fraser said pulling Ray towards the table.

"Where's Dief?" Ray asked as he sat down.

"Diefenbaker expressed a desire to stay with Turnbull tonight," Fraser set two plates down on the table. "He said something about wanting to leave us alone, and that Turnbull was baking chocolate chip cookies." Fraser grinned at Ray sitting down.

"Romantic wolf," Ray giggled taking Fraser's hand in his.

"I think the chocolate chip cookies swung it," Fraser squeezed Ray's hand back.

They had eaten their supper in a contented silence casting shy looks at each other as they continued to hold hands across the table. After they had finished eating, Ray had insisted on helping Frase wash the dishes and tidying the small kitchen.

They now sat on the floor backs against the couch, their hands entwined, as they watched the flickering candlelight listening to the soothing music playing in the background, at peace with each other, safe from the outside world with its troubles and complications.

"This feels good," Ray broke the silence looking sideways at Fraser. "I know I'm still married and all that, but it feels.... you know kinda right being here with you."

"Yes it does," Fraser agreed smiling as he gently squeezed Ray's hand. "I had given up all hope of every being loved again after Victoria, and then you crashed into my life," he grinned at Ray. "And everything changed. You hugged me on the first day, and I knew I was lost. That I loved you. And it feels wonderful."

Ray squeezed Fraser's hand back. "So you.... you don't mind too much that I'm still married?" his voice sounded suddenly uncertain and unsure. "Or not worried that I'm on the .... the rebound."

Fraser thought for a moment staring distractedly at the candlelight as it danced across the white walls of his living room. "Yes Ray," he replied. "To be honest I do mind that you are married," he squeezed Ray's hand in reassurance at the frown that crossed the thin face. "But I am not worried that you may be on the rebound. You are worth the risk and I trust you. I love you. And I need you."

Ray stared at Fraser, he thought that his heart might burst with love for this kind and gentle man. "I know I should feel... you know guilty being here with you. But I don't. And don't ask me to explain it because I can't," Ray said as he dropped his head. "I meant it when I said Stell don't mean anything to me any more. Hasn't done for a while now. Just didn't wanna admit it to myself."

"I know Ray," Fraser said. "And I do understand. Although I am sure that good sense would say that we should not embark on such a relationship."

"Good sense huh," Ray nodded grinning. "I think that sorta went outta the window last night when you seduced me."

"Seduced you? I did not seduce you," Fraser protested although his lips turned up into a small smile.

"Yeah you did," Ray teased. "I seem to remember it was you doing all the grabbing and kissing stuff."

Fraser raised an eyebrow. "And you were powerless to resist me."

"Yeah," Ray grinned at the memory of their love making. "You were too busy being a Mountie sorta possessed all over the place to hear my protests," he squeezed Fraser's hand. "But hey I kinda liked it."

"You did?" Fraser said.

"Yeah," Ray grinned again.

"I see," Fraser smirked as he put his hand behind Ray's neck pulling him towards him, claiming his lips in a passionate kiss. Ray moaned as he leaned into the kiss returning it. Both men pulled back breathless; they gazed at each other smiling slightly.

Ray leaped up from the floor. "Dance with me," he said holding his hands out to Fraser. "You did say it was better to dance with a partner. One with two legs."

"So I did. And very nice legs they are indeed," Fraser licked his lips as his eyes roamed up and down Ray's legs. Ray laughed as Fraser took his offered hands letting himself be hauled up from the floor. Fraser stepped easily into Ray's embrace moulding himself against the lean body as Ray started to lead them around the small living room. They swayed in time to the music as they moved backwards and forwards in perfect synchronisity with one another, losing themselves in the music and each other.

Fraser leaned his head on Ray's forehead as he ran his hands gently up and down Ray's arms as they continued to dance. Ray let Fraser take over leading them as they drifted around the room, the candles fluttering as they swept past wrapped in each other's arms, their bodies pressed close. Fraser brought them smoothly to a halt as the music ended.

"Music's stopped," Ray murmured looking at Fraser.

"Mmmm," Fraser replied as he leaned forward kissing Ray gently.

"You gonna seduce me again?" Ray asked drawing back from the kiss smiling.

"Yes Ray," Fraser answered pulling Ray towards the bedroom.

Once inside the bedroom, Fraser drew Ray into an embrace and they kissed deeply tongues exploring as they licked and sucked at each other, their hands caressing. Pushing back from the kiss, Fraser slowly began to undress Ray, his hands stroking at the pale skin as it was revealed to him. Ray moaned as Fraser's hand skimmed across his arousal. Unbuckling and unzipping, Fraser carefully slid Ray's jeans and underwear down his narrow hips to his ankles; Ray toed out of his boots and socks kicking his clothes to one side.

Fraser stood back to admire Ray; shadows from the candlelight flickered across Ray's nakedness bathing his usually pale skin in a soft glow, muting the sharp angles of his lithe body. Although slighter in build than himself, Fraser could still see firm strong muscles visible in Ray's arms and legs. He trailed his eyes up and down Ray's body admiringly as he took in the outline of Ray's rib cage, his nipples now standing erect, his flat stomach, firm thighs and his half hard penis nestled between his long legs.

"Ben," Ray flushed bashfully shifting from one foot to the other. "Have you finished looking? Because I'm kinda getting cold here."

"You are so beautiful," Fraser breathed as he stepped forward to kiss Ray again. "So beautiful," he murmured as he pushed Ray towards the bed.

"Nah, I'm not," Ray protested as he lay on the bed looking up at Fraser. "I'm all skinny and sharp angles. And I've got funny feet."

"No Ray. You are quite beautiful in my eyes," Fraser insisted. "And I am going to make love to you to prove just how beautiful you are to me." Fraser quickly removed his clothes throwing them untidily on the floor much to Ray's surprise. Naked Fraser lay down next to Ray drawing him towards his body. They wrapped their arms around each other as they kissed passionately drowning in their desire and need for each other. Fraser licked along Ray's lips requesting entry;

Ray moaned as he opened his mouth to Fraser's questing tongue. Fraser thrust his tongue deep into Ray's mouth exploring as he ran his hands up and down Ray's body, his fingers caressing the pale skin, tracing a path along the muscles of Ray's shoulders, arms, side and hip. Ray groaned as he started his own exploration of Fraser's firm body, his slender fingers stroking down Fraser's back and ass.

They thrust their hips at each other moaning with need as their cocks touched and they rubbed against one another delighting in the wonderful sensation it caused. The sound of their love making echoed around the bedroom as they whispered each other's name softly.

Fraser pushed Ray onto his back; licking and sucking, he slowly and sensually traced a path down Ray's body with his tongue. Ray arched his back off the bed as Fraser swept his tongue over his erect nipples. Fraser swirled his tongue around one nipple, smiling to himself as he noticed Ray gripping the sheets as he writhed under Fraser's onslaught.

"Like that?" Fraser teased flicking his tongue at the other nipple mischievously.

"Oh God," Ray breathed closing his eyes. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Fraser crawled up the bed kissing Ray lightly. "At Mountie Training School," he said deadpan.

"What?" Ray's shot open to see Fraser grinning down at him. "So what else did you learn?" he waggled his eyebrows seductively.

"Would you like me to show you?" Fraser whispered in Ray's ear, his voice husky with desire. Ray nodded closing his eyes again as Fraser licked down his neck to his shoulder; he sucked hard marking the pale skin. Ray chanted his name over and over as Fraser continued to explore his body with his tongue neglecting no part of Ray's skin. Desperate to taste Fraser again, Ray pulled Fraser back up his body. Capturing Fraser's lips, Ray thrust his tongue in and out of Fraser's mouth. Fraser moaned with pleasure leaning into the kiss. They couldn't keep their hands off each other as they caressed, stroked and touched one another, feeling the electricity of their love making surge through their bodies.

Drawing back from the kiss, they smiled at each other. Fraser encouraged Ray into a sitting position placing pillows behind his back. Grinning seductively, Fraser pushed Ray's legs apart settling himself between them. Ray gasped as Fraser leant forward taking his cock into his warm mouth. Ray ran his hands through Fraser's hair, down his neck and over his shoulder blades as Fraser moved his mouth up and down the hard length, swiping his tongue at the already leaking head, lapping at the pre-cum. Ray couldn't help thrusting his hips upwards his cock filling Fraser's mouth as Fraser sucked on him hungrily.

Ray whimpered as Fraser released his cock. "You taste so good Ray," Fraser looked up at him. Leaning forward, Fraser took Ray's penis into his mouth again sucking hard up and down the length, at the same time fondling Ray's balls rubbing them between his fingers. Moving slowly so as not to startle Ray, Fraser pressed a knuckle into the soft skin behind massaging. Ray arched his back against the pillows holding onto Fraser's shoulders as he thrust his hips forwards coming hard, spurting his semen into Fraser's waiting mouth. Fraser swallowed on each jerk of Ray's cock as he caressed his thighs. Breathing hard, Ray slumped back into the pillows watching through half closed eyes as Fraser licked him clean.

"Did you learn that at Mountie school as well?" Ray asked as Fraser dragged him down the bed until he was once again lying under Fraser's firm body, safe and warm.

Not answering, Fraser grinned claiming his lips in a warm kiss as he thrust his hard cock at Ray's hip. He rocked against Ray gently revelling in the feeling it evoked. "Make love to me," Ray whispered.

"Ray," Fraser lifted his head surprised at the request.

"Please," Ray pleaded. "Make me feel loved again."

"Oh Ray," Fraser buried his head in Ray's shoulder. "Yes. I want to make love to you. Have dreamed of making love to you. And I want to feel myself in you." He pushed himself up into a kneeling position, searching Ray's face trying to reassure himself that Ray really wanted him to do this.

Ray held his gaze pushing a pillow under his hips. "I want that feeling too," he said spreading his legs invitingly.

Fraser groaned at the sight of Ray laying on the bed, his legs spread enticingly, his cock half hard. Leaning over, Fraser rummaged in the bedside table finding a tube of lubrication that he had abandoned there. Fraser quickly coated his fingers and penis thoroughly. Leaning forward covering Ray with his body, Fraser kissed Ray gently as he cautiously inserted a finger into his body. Ray writhed under his body softly sighing his name. Fraser was encouraged by his lover's appreciative moans, and he inserted a second and third finger gently moving them in and out of Ray's body. Whispering words of encouragement, Ray ran his hands up and down Fraser's arms as he adjusted to the feeling of Fraser's fingers inside him.

"Are you ready?" Fraser whispered in his ear as he slowly removed his fingers.

"Oh yeah," Ray breathed spreading his legs wider. "Do it now. Take me."

With one hand, Fraser guided his cock to Ray's opening, carefully inserting the tip of his penis. Ray thrust his hips upwards to meet the initial penetration as Fraser slowly pushed inside. Ray claimed Fraser's lips sucking on them hard as Fraser propelled himself forwards until his cock was fully inside Ray, filling him, his balls pressed up against Ray's soft ass.

Both men gasped in rapture as Fraser began to move his cock in and out of the tight channel. Fraser braced his hands at the side of Ray's head, his legs stretched out as he balanced himself above Ray's body thrusting his cock in and out of Ray's ass. Ray was holding onto the tops of Fraser's arms, his head flung back into the pillows as he thrust his hips up meeting Fraser on every downstroke of his penis. They fit together moving as one in perfect rhythm, as though the love making was not new to them.

Fraser's cock brushed his prostate and Ray cried out as he came hard, his semen spilling on his stomach and chest. Fraser squeezed his eyes shut as he concentrated on pleasuring Ray, his penis ramming into Ray's body as he moved up and down. Breathing hard, he cried out Ray's name as he felt his balls lift, his penis pulse and he lunged into Ray hard as he climaxed releasing his seed deep within the body he loved.

As his orgasm abated, Fraser slumped forward onto Ray panting. Ray was rubbing his hands over Fraser's back whispering soothing words as his breathing calmed. Reaching down, Fraser carefully removed his softening penis from Ray's body and rolled them until they were facing each other. Ray reached for his discarded shirt gently cleaning them of his semen. Smiling Fraser pulled the blankets up over them drawing Ray towards him contentedly.

They lay together silently luxuriating in the afterglow of their love making. Fraser lay on his back with his arm around Ray, his fingers gently caressing Ray's soft blonde spikes. Ray lay on his side cuddled close to Fraser's warmth, one arm slung over Fraser's chest, his head resting on a solid shoulder.

"Ben," Ray whispered into the darkness. "I love you."

Fraser smiled to himself; it was the first time that Ray had said that he loved him, and it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Fraser moved his head sideways kissing Ray's forehead. "I know. And I love you."

"Ben," Ray wriggled in the embrace. "I really do love you. More than I ever loved Stella. I can't ... can't explain it. But this... this feels so right. I love you so much it hurts. I can't get you outta my mind. Yer all I think about. And it's driving me nuts that I can't prove it to you."

"Ray," Fraser whispered. "Don't. It's alright. You don't have to do anything to prove that you love me. I know you love me."

"No. It's not OK," Ray said loudly pulling out of the embrace and turning onto his back staring up at the ceiling. "I need to tell you. Need you to understand. Need you to......"

"Ray," Fraser interrupted leaning up on one elbow placing his finger tips on Ray's lips. "I know how you feel. I feel it too."

"You do?" Ray said doubtfully looking up at Fraser.

"Yes," Fraser smiled. "You feel like your chest is going to explode at any time. Your head hurts, your legs feel wobbly and your stomach spends its time doing somersaults."

"Yeah," Ray grinned nodding in agreement. "Gotta be love then if you feel it too."

"No Ray. I don't think so," Fraser said seriously, but his lips turned up into a smile at the panicked look that crossed Ray's face. "I think it was salmon in watercress sauce we ate earlier. I really must make a mental note not to serve watercress sauce again."

"Ben," Ray spluttered knocking Fraser's elbow from under him and rolling on top of him. "I hate you," he muttered as he claimed Fraser's lips in a gentle kiss.

"Understood," Fraser murmured as he rolled them so they were facing each other. Fraser wrapped his arms around Ray's body drawing him nearer as they entwined their legs together. They lay in contented silence stroking, touching and caressing each other - not to arouse, but to savour the warmth and security they felt with one another.

"Ben," Ray murmured into Fraser's shoulder. "Guess our life... life is gonna get ab bit complicated now."

Fraser tightened his hold on Ray. "I would imagine that things may prove to be difficult."

"I only know I wanna be with you," Ray whispered cuddling closer to Fraser's body.

"And I want to be with you Ray," Fraser said stroking Ray's hair.

"This is gonna sound kinda... silly," Ray whispered. "But I'm afraid."

"I am too," Fraser pulled Ray closer. "I am too Ray."

THE END

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