Rating/Warning: Slash as always! R for some language and a
non-graphic adult situation.
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Disclaimer: The boys aren't mine. *sigh*
Spoilers: not a one that I noticed.
Summary: Right after "Unbreakable", Ray's POV.
Notes: Sally, this is all your fault!!! *G* She started saying
things and got the little hamster wheel spinning in my head and this
is the result. Thank you soo much for all your feedback for "Untouchable"
and "Unbreakable."
And, as always to Jo just because she's sweet
;)
I know I was b*tching about not having a beta... but I don't want
these ones beta'd. I can't explain it but that's just the way it is.
Thank you to all of you who offered!
UNBELIEVABLE - June, 2000
by Ashinae
I almost laugh out loud from the joy of it all as I lie here in bed with him, his apartment dark, but I can sorta make out his face and my *God* the man's a tiger in bed! I reach out to touch his face and his eyes open suddenly and I can see his mouth curl into a smile.
"You should be sleeping, Ray," he says softly.
"Don't wanna, Benny," I tell him. "I just wanna enjoy you for a while."
His voice turns seductive. "I think I have an idea on how to make your time far more enjoyable." His hand comes up to the back of my neck and he pulls me to him for a kiss. Did I mention that the man can *kiss* too?
Oh God, after all this time, of thinking I could never have Benny and that I was just going to go completely *nuts* for wanting him, here I am in his arms and in his bed and--
All rational thought leaves my mind as Benny pushes me on my back and his mouth heads due south. "Yeah, Benny, yeah..." I whisper, my fingers tangling in his hair.
I never would have guessed. Never would have imagined, not in a million years, that Benny could love me as much as I love him. But tonight he proved me so completely wrong--
"Oh, *fuck,* Benny!" I shout as his tongue begins to do some wicked, *wicked* things to me. And all the dumb Mountie does is *laugh* at me. He has me completely under his spell for another few minutes before he climbs up my body, leaving me a pile of goo and needing *more*, Goddammit, *more!*, and then he starts whispering in my ear about how he wants to--and oh God, soon enough he *is* and I've never felt anything like it, and I don't want it to end, but it's gotta stop, gotta stop because if it doesn't I'm gonna die, and, sure it'll be with a stupid grin on my face, but I'll never be able to enjoy it ever again if I die and how much would *that* suck?
And then it's all over again, and Benny's more or less crushing me as he puts his head on my shoulder and tries to catch his breath. After a minute he kisses me, and carefully lowers himself down to my side. He pulls me close to him.
"I love you," he says into my ear.
"Yeah, Benny," I reply tiredly, "I love you, too."
"Don't leave me, Ray," he adds.
The choked-up sound in his voice has me a bit more conscious and I force myself up onto an elbow to look at him again. I can see how wide his eyes are and that he looks kinda... scared. "You're stuck with me, Benny," I tell him. "You're gonna have to pry me off you with a crowbar if you wanna get rid of me, you got that? This wasn't a one-night, one-time thing. I'm in this for good. I'm *not* going to leave you. Ever."
"Promise?"
"Wasn't that what I just did?" I tease.
"You left earlier," he says.
I frown at him. "What?"
"After dinner. After I kissed you."
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that."
"I just needed to make sure it was--well, you see, Benny--" *Get a fucking grip, Vecchio! My God, you just spent all night in bed with the guy!* I take a deep breath. "Benny, I've been waiting for this for *so* long. After everything... I just didn't know if I could trust myself to believe that had really happened." Words just come out, one after the other, and I can't stop them no matter how hard I try. "I used to keep *thinking* you did things like that, but then all of a sudden I'd realise I was just imagining it, and you have *no idea* how hard that can be on a guy, to think he really does have the one person in the world he wants most, but then all of a sudden he's *boom* back on earth in the worst way possible, back in his ordinary, boring world where he's in love with his best friend, who just happens to be *you* and you seem to shun all forms of human contact, and--" *Breathe. Slow down and fucking breathe.* "Benny. You kissed me and I didn't know whether or not you'd *really* kissed me. I just needed to get out of there for a second and *think.* It just dawned on me that it had really happened."
There. Done. I might have sounded like a complete moron going on like that, but it feels a *hell* of a lot better to know I got it out.
"Oh, Ray!" His voice is all choked-up again but for a completely different reason. I'm turning Benny all emotional and I don't know whether to be pleased or to kick my own ass for it. He pulls me close again, really tight against his chest and I can't really breathe quite right but I'm not about to complain at the moment. "You have no idea how much I love you."
"I think I do, Benny. I don't quite believe it, but I do."
Now he sounds concerned. "Why don't you believe it, Ray?"
What a way to make a guy feel self-conscious. "Geez, Benny. Do you have to ask? You're you and I'm me and that's just--it."
"Now, Ray, that doesn't make any sense."
"It makes plenty of sense, Benny. Trust me."
"I always trust you, Ray. I always have, and I always will."
"Aww, geez. Shut up and go to sleep."
"Yes, Ray."
I close my eyes and realise I could *really* get used to cuddling with Benny. It's like having my very own life-sized teddy bear, but there is no way I'm gonna tell him *that.*
I can barely believe it.
He loves me.
Benny actually *loves* me and my scrawny body.
And there is no way on God's green earth that I am *ever* gonna let him go.