For Corrine, it's all her fault for giving me the idea of Turnbull
and Welsh. Icky, gooey, sappy mess.
By the way, did you know that there's a Welsh Fan Fiction Archive?
http://www.geocities.com/welsh_archive/
And today is our one year anniversary. Thanks to some plastic surgery, all of the physical scars are gone, and some of the emotional ones are disappearing each day. I'm hoping that tonight will be perfect.
I'm worried. It's a little past five o'clock, and Constable Fraser is still here. It wouldn't be fair of me to leave while he's still here working, but I don't want to be late. I almost considered asking for this day of except that Harding had to work.
"Sir?"
"Yes Turnbull?"
I never thought I would hear affection in his voice, perhaps it's just tolerance. "How long were you intending to continue working, sir? Everything is all set for the Inspector's dinner. Is there anything I could do? I know that Ray might be a bit impatient."
Fraser sighed.
"Is something wrong?"
As Constable Fraser looked at me I grew even more nervous. There was something he wasn't telling me. "What is it, sir? Please."
"Turnbull,- Ray is- Ray wanted to have a - word with Lieutenant Welsh. Alone."
I couldn't help my reaction. What could they need to talk about except me? Suddenly I couldn't catch my breath. It's over then. It's all over. I ran out of the Consulate before he could get up to stop me.
It wasn't far from the Consulate to the apartment but by the time I reached the door I almost collapsed against it. Only by grabbing hold of myself did I manage to catch my breath enough to enter quietly. They were in the kitchen, talking about me. I felt like running out. Running out and running until I couldn't take another step, but I was frozen in place, listening to them discussing me.
--He's still afraid.--
--I know.--
--He's been hurt too many times, Lieu--
No. Please. Don't make him leave. Don't make me choose. I can't.
--I know. I just want him to be happy. I think I help.--
Oh you do, Harding. You do. You help more than I can say.
Ray laughs. --Yeah. You do. Listen, thanks for putting up with my nagging.--
--I know you care about him Vecchio. I do too.--
--Hurt him, and I'll kill you.--
Thank you, Ray. I can't help smiling for a moment before I begin to worry. Perhaps Harding will-
"Whoa. Hey Renny."
Ray is an excellent hugger. "Good evening, Ray."
"See ya later, I gotta go."
Before I have time to do so much as nod he's out the door. Nervously I turn to face Harding, dreading that this might be too much.
"I'm sorry about Ray. He can be a bit-"
"Over protective?"
I'm so relieved that he's grinning that I can't say anything. He embraces me and I nod.
"You know you love it when he does that." He teases me.
It's true. I blush. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"If he made you uncomfortable or-"
He stops me with a kiss. "It's okay. I'm glad he cares for you, you need more people who love you as much as I do."
If I blush anymore I'll be the same color as my uniform. I look at the floor, hoping I can stop turning red but he lifts my chin until he's looking into my eyes.
"I love you, Ren. Don't look away when I tell you, okay?"
"Okay." I answer quietly.
"Come on. We need to get you into something comfortable and I need to finish getting dinner ready. Go on, get changed."
Dinner ends perfectly, we talk as he washes the dishes and I dry them. I almost regret when the last dish is put away. We sit in the living room. I for one would be perfectly satisfied if we just sat there for the rest of the evening. I drift in contentment for a few moments before I notice the slight tension in him. I'm about to ask him what's wrong when he gets up and gets something from his coat.
"Ren, I want you to know how important to me you are. And I don't ever want you to doubt that I love you and that I'll be here for you. So," he opens the box in his hand and holds it out to me, "would you accept this ring?"
It's a simple gold wedding band. The smooth yellow metal catches my eye and holds my breath so that I can't think. He can't wear a ring, it would raise too many questions and risks, but for him to want this for me--
"Ren?" There's actually a hint of worry in his voice.
"I- Yes." His hands tremble as he slides the ring onto my finger. "I love you, Harding." I can see how the words I said for the first time affect him and maybe for a moment I can see that I've done something to show him how much he's done for me and how much he means to me.
I kiss him until I get light-headed and remember to breathe. I can't keep away from him, and I don't want to.
He's so beautiful. I watch him sometimes. I can't help it. I know he's been hurt deeply. In a way, that's why I feel so safe with him. He knows how it feels to be on the other side. He'd never hurt me.
We were together a year before he told me about his ex-wife. They were driving back from a concert, and he fell asleep. When he woke up, all he found was a note. He hid the note in an envelope, but he doesn't know that I found it and read it before I knew what it was.
It was the meanest thing I've ever read, and the only thing he said to me was that she left the note, and then they talked through lawyers. It amazes me that after all of that, he let me into his life. And he thinks it's his job to keep me safe and happy. I've never been with anybody who worries about me. I know that he would do anything for me. And anytime I get nervous or anxious, it helps to know that he's right there for me no matter what.
He's my best friend, and I've never really had one of those before either. Most of the people I knew were just kissing up to my parents by being friendly to me. Now I have Harding, and Ray, and Constable Fraser as well. None of this would have been possible without their help. If Constable Fraser and Ray hadn't become such good friends, and I hadn't talked to Ray last year, Harding and I probably would never have become as close as we are. Most likely, I wouldn't even be alive today without their help.
I look at my hand in front of me. That ring reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for. I think he knew that I could look at it when Inspector Thatcher was upset with me or when I thought of my parents and how they felt about me. I could look at it and not worry. I could look at it and begin to love myself for him. I'm something I've never been before. I'm happy.