Canadian Government Mountie Season Regulations

 GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Mountie hunting license may harvest Mounties.
2. Capture of Mounties with traps is permitted. The use of drowned caribou
as bait is prohibited.
3. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Mounties from National Parks
and designated Mountie reserves.
4. It shall be unlawful to shout "help" or "whose wolf is this" for the
purpose of trapping Mounties.     
5. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 100 feet of government
buildings.
6. It shall be unlawful to herd Mounties using women in scanty lingerie,
since this causes Mounties to stampede in fright.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt Mounties within 200 feet of libraries,
police stations, lingerie shops, special interest group offices, bars,
or strip joints. 8. Stuffed or mounted Mounties must have a Health Department
inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.       
9. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as an oversexed sister
of a Chicago cop, old lady trying to cross the street, ice hockey player,
caribou, attractive bank robber, or escaped felon for the purpose of
hunting Mounties. 10. Captive Mounties prefer dark surroundings. Some
have been known to carry nesting material around with them. Usually they
are easy to tame. If the Mountie is to be kept a permit must be acquired.

BAG LIMITS
Sub-Species: Mountius oldfartus     Limit:  EXTINCT 
Sub-Species: Mountius boyscoutus (often seen crossing roads with old
ladies) Limit: 3
Sub-Species: Mountius hubbahubbaus or "Big Red" (identify by its blue
eyes, muscular physique, signature cry "thankyoukindly", tends to flee
if the word "sex" is mentioned, found in the company of wolves and at
least one of the grouchy species Chicagocopus crankus) 
Limit:  1, live capture only    
Notes:  Very, very difficult to catch. Captive breeding next to impossible.

Addenda: Humane capture of Mounties
The species Mountius hubbahubbaus (or 'Big Red') is often found in the
Canadian snow fields, but tend to have difficulty keeping their footing
in this environment. This is often the best time to net one, when they
are lying on their backs in the snow giggling uncontrollably, or rescue
one after he has fallen into a lake.

SEASON TIMES: Winter and autumn only. Mounties shed their distinctive
red plumage during the warmer months and can be mistaken for other, less
desirable species.

Regulations released by F. Scott, Commander-in-Chief, International Mountie
Control (IMC)
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the way, the production office has a version of this..... hee hee 

FIona :)

Fiona.Scott@smtpgwy.agric.nsw.gov.au