Pairing: Benny/Ray V.

Rating: NC-17 for graphic sex.

Category: Romance.

The "FAMILY" series is not intended to elaborate on the Wiccan/Pagan path as my "WHEEL OF THE YEAR" series did, but I felt this segment was appropriate in a series about starting new traditions. Benny has been shown to be accepting of the Pagan religions and customs of the Inuit and Tshimsian, so it's not a stretch to believe that he would follow the Pagan path, and as for Ray, ex-Catholics are the largest proportion of people who come to Paganism from traditional religions. Ray is growing disenchanted with his own religion, which has no place for gays. It won't be a wham-bang-thank-you-Benny type of transition, as any changes will be gradual, but it will set the stage for further conflict with the Vecchios.

Comments on-list or off-list welcome. E-mail: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com.

Disclaimer: Roses are red, Benny's in bed, Ray's right with him, but bindlestitch, I don't owns 'em, Alliance does.

(c) January 22, 2000

*Ray sat contentedly in the apartment at West Racine. It was beginning to look more homey now. He had insisted on curtains instead of shades, and the furniture was more comfortable after their trip to the furniture store. There was a television set that was used on occasion by him, Benny happy to snuggle up beside him on the couch. Ray smiled as he thought that Benny was starting to get hooked on TV.

They had repainted the walls in a light blue, and Mrs. Gamez had donated two new hooked rugs for the hardwood floor. A new lamp shone soft light in the living room. It was blue with a white lampshade, and the hurricane lamp of Benny's was now only for emergencies. Ray was reading the newspaper in the new easy chair while Benny was reading a book on the couch, Dief lightly dozing by the window.

"Sheesh! Valentine's Day is still three weeks away, and already the businesses are shilling for it." Ray read the ad for chocolates on page 3.

"Yes."

"Kinda cool, that old legend about the holiday."

"Legend?"

"Yeah. St. Valentine was this priest in Ancient Rome and was condemnedto death by the Emperor Claudius. He picked some violets from outside his cell window and wrote out "Remember Your Valentine" on 'em and sent by dove to his friends and family." Ray had heard this tale in catechism class years ago.

"Yes, that is the Christian version."

Ray frowned. "Christian version?"

"Pagans celebrated a form of this holiday for centuries before that, Ray."

"Yeah? Like how?"

"Oh, the Romans would celebrate Lupercalia on the 15th of February. Here, let me read this to you: '...the priests of Faunus, an ancient god of fertility, went about the streets of Rome dressed in goatskin loincloths, carrying thongs with which they struck women across the

palms in an ancient fertility rite. The day prior to this, the 14th of February, was sacred to the Goddess Juno, Queen of the Heavens and personification of the three aspects of the Goddess. On that day young men drew lots to choose their female partners for the festivities.' "

"Yeah?"

"Yes." Benny nodded his head. "And the cherubs you see on traditional Valentine cards is really the figure of Cupid, the son of Venus, Roman Goddess of Love. He fell in love with Psyche, a mortal so beautiful that a jealous Venus caused Psyche to descend into the underworld of Hades through trickery and deceit. Cupid found out about this and brought Psyche back to life, and through him and his love Psyche became immortal."

"Wow." Ray considered this story, then asked, "What book is that?"

Benny held it up. "Wheel Of The Year: Living The Magical Life."

"Magic?"

"Yes, Ray."

"There really isn't such a thing as magic, Benny."

"Well, actually, there is, Ray."

"C'mon. That's all Hollywood stuff."

"No." Benny got up and motioned Ray to follow him. They went into the bedroom and Benny opened his father's trunk. He carefully took out two pink candles, a porcelain statue of a female in flowing robes, her arms outstretched, a bejewelled wand, a white-handled knife, and a crystal ball that Benny set on a pewter dragon stand. The dragon's ruby eyes winked in the moonlight.

"Whoa, what's this?"

"Tools for ritual, Ray."

"What kind of ritual?"

"Wiccan ritual."

"Wiccan? Is that like, um, witchcraft?"

"With a capital 'W'.'

Ray began to feel nervous. His hand went instinctively to the crucifix hanging around his neck. "Witchcraft is bad stuff, Benny. I've seen some of those satanic cults and what they do. We had a case..."

Benny's finger on his lips silenced Ray. "Satanists are not Witches, Ray. Witches believe in the beauty and goodness of all things. They do not believe in harming others, as all spells cast come back threefold to the caster. 'Harm none' is a Wiccan creed."

Ray still looked unconvinced. "Why didn't you tell me you were a...Witch, Benny?"

"Because I felt that it would disturb you. I thought you considered me odd enough." Benny smiled faintly and Ray had to answer that smile. "I thought it best to do my rituals in private and not keep an altar out for everyone to see. Perhaps I should have told you, but I've had some

bad experiences." Benny shrugged.

Ray took his hand away from the crucifix. "It's okay, Benny. Anything you'd be involved in can't be bad." Benny blinked away tears at this declaration of faith and Ray squatted in front of the trunk, his finger touching the ruby eye of the dragon stand. "Kinda cool."

"Yes," Benny said with a smile.

Ray straightened up. "Jeez, Benny, I feel like Darrin in Bewitched. I married a Witch, for cryin' out loud!"

Benny smiled again. "Yes, Ray."

Ray laughed and shook his head, drawing Benny in for a kiss. "Life with you is never dull, Benny."*

*Ray restlessly paced the apartment. Benny had a late night at the Consulate, playing doorman for a diplomatic reception. It was already midnight, too soon for the party to break up, and Ray had awakened from a fitful sleep. Without Benny with him, he couldn't sleep soundly. He was now roaming around, hands in the pockets of his dark-green robe as he wished for his lover to come home.

His gaze fell on the bookcase and he ambled over. One particular title caught his eye. He plucked it from the bookcase and sat down on the couch, turning on the lamp. He began reading.

Benny entered the apartment with Inuit stealth, not wanting to wake his mate. His eyes widened as he saw Ray reading on the couch.

"Ray, you're up late."

"Oh, hi, Benny!" Ray set aside the book and came to his lover, giving him a proper 'welcome home' kiss. "I was asleep but woke up around midnight and couldn't drop off again. So, did you charm everyone at the party? And did the Dragon Lady get tipsy?"

"Ray!" Benny's smile was affectionate. "The Inspector did *not* 'get tipsy', as you call it, and I danced a little."

"Hmph. Probably with every woman in the place. I shoulda gone to keep the vultures away from ya."

"That would have been wonderful, Ray." Benny's voice was soft. "To have you as my acknowledged mate." He put a hand on Ray's cheek. Ray turned his head and kissed it.

"Yeah, well, weren't not out yet." Ray sighed. "Only my family knows, and Elaine, Jack, and Welsh. Oh, yeah, and Turnbull. For now that's enough."

Benny nodded in agreement. He looked at the book Ray had put on the coffee table. "The Truth About Witchcraft Today?"

"Yeah. It's kind of interesting."

"I'm glad you think so."

Ray kissed him. "My Mountie the Witch."

They both laughed and Benny got ready for bed.

Ray hunched his shoulders against the cold. He walked rapidly toward St. Michael's Church, pausing on the steps when he saw two men from the neighborhood standing at the entrance.

"Hey, Vecchio," sneered the heavyset man. "Whatcha doin' here?"

"Comin' to visit Father Behan, if it's any of your business, Paulie."

The thin man by Paulie's side jingled his keys in his coat pocket. "What's a queer want to see a priest for? You gonna confess and swear off the pretty boys?"

Ray's heart thudded. So, the secret was out in the neighborhood. Wonderful.

"Aw, Ronny, Vecchio here isn't gonna swear off his pansy Mountie. The poor delicate thing would probably faint from the shock!"

Both men sniggered and Ray mentally counted to ten. It wasn't worth getting into a scrap. Not here. Not now.

"Excuse me," he said loudly as he began to elbow his way past them. They grabbed his arms.

"Listen, you fuckin' faggot..." Paulie began.

"Well, hello, Raymond! Glad to see you!" Father Behan's cheerful voice broke the tension.

"Hello, Father," Ray said, shaking off the offending hands.

"Paulo, Ronald, how are you?"

"Fine, Father," the men mumbled.

"Good, good. Now, Raymond, come on in. I'll get you a nice cup of tea."

Father Behan closed the door firmly behind Ray. They walked into the nave of the church before Ray spoke.

"Thanks."

"Glad to help." Sympathy shone in the hazel eyes of the priest. "Would you really like some tea?"

"Sure." Ray had gotten used to the taste now that he was living with Benny.

They went into the priest's study, and Ray sat in the chair in front of the old oak desk. His hands were knotted together. Father Behan returned with two cups of tea and a delicate porcelain teapot.

"A gift from my sister," he said as he set the tray down and handed Ray his cup. He sat in his chair and took a sip from his own cup.

"Nice," Ray said, sipping the tea in an effort to calm his nerves.

Father Behan cocked his head. "Now, Raymond, I assume that came here to discuss something related to the confrontation out on the church steps?"

"Yeah, Father." Ray swallowed more tea. "I just wanted to bring you up to speed. Though it looks like you already know."

"Word travels fast in this neighborhood."

"Yeah." Ray set the cup down. "I wanted to ask if you would talk to my ma. Oh, not try and convince her that I'm not goin' to hell or anything. I know you gotta stick to the party line. But just be there for her, you know?"

"Yes, I know." Patrick Behan leaned forward. "It isn't easy, is it?"

Ray shook his head. "I'm officially thrown out of the house."

The priest leaned back in his chair. "I'm sorry to hear that." He sighed. "I'm afraid that the Church is still quite adamant about its position on gays, Raymond. Despite many nuns and priests with different views, at least here in America, the Vatican's position is still the

same."

"Yeah, 'love the sinner but hate the sin'."

Behan nodded. "Gays are called to a life of celibacy."

"Sorry, Father."

The priest smiled faintly. "Yes, Benton is a...temptation."

"He's a good man, Father. He's not a sinner."

"Neither are you."

Ray's eyes widened slightly. "Now that's not the party line."

Behan shrugged. "When you've been a priest as long as I have, you learn about people. I can't say that you and Benton are sinners. I don't see that. However, the Church does."

"Yeah, the Vatican says we're 'intrinsically disordered'."

"Yes. And a recent ruling has banned ministry to gay and lesbian Catholics."

Ray sighed and sat back. The crucifix felt cold against his throat. "I don't see anything changing anytime soon."

"Probably not in our lifetimes."

Ray ran a hand over his face. "Father, please try and comfort Ma when she comes to you."

"Oh course, Raymond."

Ray met the eyes of the priest, a silent thanks passing between them, then he got up. "Thanks for seeing me, Father. Good tea."

Behan stood. He held out his hand. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here, Raymond."

They shook hands and Ray left the study. He paused at the entrance to the nave and went in.

It was quiet, the only sound that of the faint hiss of the candles flickering in front of the statues of Joseph and the Virgin Mary. He slowly approached the statue, remembering what he had read in one of Benny's books, 'The Virgin Mary is a pale remnant of the Goddess.'

His hand went to his crucifix and then he turned away, his steps echoing in the silent church.*

*Benny glanced over at Ray. He was pleased to see his lover reading, looking so wonderfully sexy in his dark-green robe. Ray was elegance personified. He was a very lucky man. He returned to his book while Dief yawned by the window.

Ray glanced at the trunk in their bedroom. He could see the altar accoutrements from this angle. Benny had decided to keep them out since Ray was not uncomfortable with them.

"Benny?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I study this Wicca with you?"

Benny looked up in surprise. "Certainly, Ray. Are you interested in becoming a Witch?"

Ray laughed. "Never thought I'd hear that. I'm not sure. I want to learn more, I know."

"I'd be happy to answer any of your questions."

"Can I watch a ritual?"

"Yes, tomorrow night is Imbolc."

"Do we haveta go to a coven or something?"

Benny shook his head. "I'm a solitary."

Ray realized that until they'd met, that had been the story of Benny's life. No more!

"Okay."

Benny looked pleased, and Ray welcomed him as he curled up against him. While his lover closed his eyes and fell asleep, Ray read the passage he had been thinking about all day, 'Wicca is a contemporary religion. Its practitioners revere the Goddess and the God as the creators of the universe --as tangible, conscious beings. Though in general Wiccans don't subscribe to one specific form, they accept reincarnation and magic, revere the Earth as a manifestation of the Goddess and God, and meet for religious ceremony at times appointed by the Moon and the Sun.'

It was a refreshing view. His own religion preached that there was only one way, and as for gays and lesbians, well, they were sinners, period. Benny had explained that while Wicca revered the male/female dynamic, most modern Wiccans honored homosexuality. There were covens that were all-male or all-female, and they were welcomed into the community. Homophobia could exist among Wiccans/Pagans, but it was generally frowned upon and gays and lesbians felt they had a spiritual home in these traditions. Ray could understand that. Most of the other religions of the world condemned homosexuality and actively persecuted those who were gay and lesbian.

His family hated him because Catholicism dictated that gays were worthy of pity and contempt. While it was not the only reason that they had thrown him out, it was a strong factor. For many people, the distinction between loving the sinner and hating the sin was lost.

They were starting new traditions as a family of three: him, Benny, and Dief. Was it time to explore this path and find whether it was right for him? Ray closed his eyes and fell asleep with his lover in his arms.*

*Ray watched as Benny set up the altar: the pink candles were set in crystal holders, and the crystal ball was set in the middle of the candles. The Goddess statue was directly behind it, and a knitted snowflake was set in front of the ball. Benny explained that it was a sign of the season. He had also gone out and scooped up some snow, and it was slowly melting in a silver bowl. Snow was falling outside the windows, and he set a bowl of water and one of salt on either side of the candles. He lit the censer, the smoke wisping out. He anointed the candles with rosemary oil, lighting each one, then picked up the jewelled wand and closed his eyes for a moment. Opening them, he began to cast the circle, welcoming the Goddess and God at North, East, South, and West. He began to speak.

"This is the time of the feast of torches/When every lamp blazes and shines/To welcome the rebirth of the God./I celebrate the Goddess./I celebrate the God./All the Earth celebrates/Beneath its mantle of sleep."

Benny celebrated the four elements of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, waving his wand over the salt, through the smoke of the candle, through its flame, and over the bowl of water. He began to sing an old chant softly, praising the Goddess for Her bounty, and then crooned, "All the land is wrapped in winter./The air is chilled and/Frost envelopes theEarth./But Lord of the Sun,/Horned One of animals and wild places,/Unseen you have been reborn/Of the Gracious Mother Goddess,/Lady of all fertility./Hail Great God!/Hail and welcome!/"

Ray was fascinated. He watched as Benny praised the Goddess and God, asking for grace in their lives, and happiness to come down upon them. Ray's nose twitched at the smell of the incense. For a second he was reminded of times in church, but he concentrated on the ritual in front of him.

Incense, flames, candlelight shimmering on the water in the silver bowl. The dragon's ruby eyes glinted. Ray felt his heart flutter.

It was wonderful and strange and exciting. He watched Benny close the circle, turning to him with his sapphire eyes sparkling with joy.

"Merry Imbolc, Ray," he said with a twinkle in those eyes.

"Same to you, Benny."

Benny took Ray's hand and they went to the kitchen table, feasting upon traditional Imbolc foods: dairy foods like sour cream, or spicy and full-bodied foods like curries and any dishes made with peppers, onions, leeks, shallots, raisins, garlic or chives. Imbolc celebrated the ancient festival of calving, so that was why the dairy foods. And the other spicy dishes were symbolic of the Sun.

When they were finished eating, Benny said, "Put on your coat, Ray, and we'll go outside and walk in the snow. It's an Imbolc tradition, to walk in the snow."

Ray and Benny walked hand-in-hand under cover of the snow, their cheeks growing pink from the cold. Snow frosted them like sugar, Ray thinking that his Benny had never looked lovelier.

Back in the apartment Ray closed the door and turned to see Benny regarding him with a soft expression.

"Ray." His voice was soft. "Make love to me."

"Sure, Benny."

And Ray took Benny to their bedroom, and laid him out on the bed, and lavished him with kisses. He was gentle and sweet and Benny moaned softly beneath him. He held Benny's face between his hands and kissed his cheeks, eyelids, and lips. He kissed that beautiful body from head-to-toe while the incense drifted through the room, sweet and piercing. Just as orgasm could be.

And he lightly lapped pert nipples, smooth skin, blood-hot cock, satiny thighs. And Benny moaned and whimpered and clutched Ray's arms and skittered fingers across his ribs, and cupped the full, pert, peachy globes and felt Heaven in his hands. Ray's fingers were inside him, and then his cock, and their lovemaking was slow then fast then slow then erupting like petals in a newborn flower.

The dragon's ruby eyes winked.*

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The books I consulted for this story are:

(1) Campanelli, Pauline. (1989) The Wheel of the Year. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications.

(2) Cunningham, Scott. (1988) The Truth About Witchcraft Today. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications.

(3) Cunningham, Scott. (1989) Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner. St. Paul, Minnesota: Llewellyn Publications.