Watch (A Due South/Phantom Menace Crossover Parody)

By Jennifer

NC-17

Fraser/Kowalski/other

Disclaimer... nothing here belongs to me. Alliance and George Lucas claim rights here...

Don't quite know where this came from... but I just had to try it. Have fun!

Spoilers for Star Wars Episode 1- The Phantom Menace

"Whaddya mean you never saw Star Wars before?" Ray Kowalski snapped playfully at his lover as the Mountie walked ahead of him out of the Movie Theater.

"Exactly that, Ray. I've never seen it. You forget I grew up in very small towns Ray. Towns that didn't necessarily have functioning movie houses."

"Hmph," Ray grunted and unlocked the passenger door to the GTO. He opened the door and waited till Fraser was comfortably inside before slamming the door closed. He then made his way around the front of the car. Fraser had reached over and unlocked his door for him already. Ray smiled. He loved when Fraser did that. Ray got into the car and started up the engine. He pulled the car onto the road and headed for his apartment, knowing that Fraser was going home with him tonight.

"I understand yer point," Ray continued as he weaved in and out of the sparse late night traffic. "But it's not like this movie is unheard of. It's like a movie going icon. An American tradition even."

"Ray, I'm Canadian." The Mountie smiled at his lover, enjoying himself immensely. He enjoyed setting Ray into motion, loosening those bundles of energy. It made their lovemaking that much more exciting and enjoyable.

"Fraser!" Ray exclaimed. "I know yer Canadian and all that but-"

"Don't say it, Ray."

Ray glanced quickly at the smiling Mountie and then returned his attention to the road. "You make me crazy, Frase. You know that?"

"Of course Ray."

**************************************************************************************

The telephone awoke Ray that night. He was exhausted. If there was one thing Fraser wasn't, Ray thought, it was lazy. He grabbed at the receiver before it could ring again.

"Yeah," he yawned into the receiver.

"I need you to go to the Southside, Kowalski." Welsh's voice hissed through the phone.

"The Southside? Sir, it's not even six in the morning. In case you've forgotten, I'm not on until four today."

"I know Kowalski. But it's Mrs. Winchell again."

Ray fell back into the pillow. Oh God, he thought. Not her. "That crazy old bat down on Niles?"

"Yeah. She'll only see you... and Big Red... So gather up the Mountie and head on out there."

"What's the problem?"

"Probably nothing. But she swears a space ship landed in her backyard."

"Tell her to call the FBI. I'm sure Mulder and Scully will hop on the first jet out of the Twilight Zone."

"Funny, Detective. Just get your butt up and outta bed and get moving. Calm her down before she gets the whole neighborhood riled up and we have a media circus down there. Whether it's true or not, I don't want a media circus."

"Right." Ray hung up the phone and turned to Fraser, sleeping peacefully beside him. Guess I did wear him out, Kowalski smiled to himself.

**************************************************************************************

Ray parked the GTO out front of Mrs. Winchell's lime green sided house. Mrs. Winchell was a strange old lady. She was always calling in about UFOs and little green headed men running about her yard. Her family had tried to have her committed but she seemed to have a better hold on reality then even they did. She was still a full functioning adult. Just a little unhinged. And it seemed that since Ray and Fraser had answered one of her calls respectfully (thanks to Fraser) and politely (also thanks to Fraser) she would only talk to them.

Ray and Fraser knocked on Mrs. Winchell's front door firmly. The morning was just dawning it's light. She answered the door carefully, her chain lock attached.

"Who is it?" she croaked.

"It's Constable Fraser, Ma'am. And Detective Kowalski."

"Oh!" She exclaimed and opened the front door swiftly. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to come. I was about to call the Guardian."

"Well lets not call the Guardian just yet, Mrs. Winchell." Ray said politely. "Just show us the space ship."

Mrs. Winchell led the two men to her back yard, where a heaping chunk of smoking metal glared at them.

Ray rubbed his eyes. Fraser eyed it carefully. "Great Scott," Fraser whispered and made his way to the smoking craft.

"Fraser don't go near that thing! And for God's sake don't taste anything!"

"I'm not going to taste anything, Ray. I don't need to."

"Whaddya mean by that?"

"It's apparent that this is some sort of space transport."

"What?" Ray asked incredulously. "Who are you and what have you done to the Mountie?"

"Come now Ray, look at it. Look at the electronics. Look at the hardware. This isn't made here."

"It looks like," Ray stopped and shook his head. No freaking way.

Suddenly then, the hatch opened. A man rose from it, seemingly uninjured and apparently confused. Ray drew his gun and pointed it at the man.

"Ray put down your gun." Fraser whispered. "I don't,"

"Hold it right there!" Ray ignored Fraser and inched closer to the man as he tried to climb from the craft. "Just put yer hands in the air where I can see them."

The man complied slowly, a strange calm governing him. "I come in peace," he said, his voice strong and firm. The man was young, no more than twenty-five. He wore a cream colored tunic and trousers, brown boots, which Fraser found utterly fetching, and a brown cloak. He wore his hair short, not unlike Ray's, but with a ponytail in the back and a long braid hung from his right ear. His features were smooth, demonstrating his youth, his eyes were light yet expressionless. The man gave away nothing.

Fraser approached the craft slowly and offered his hand to the man to help him down. "I'm Constable Fraser," he said. "Royal Canadian Mounted Police. This gentleman here is Ray Kowalski, Chicago PD. Over there hiding in the corner is Mrs. Winchell. This happens to be her property on which you've crashed your transport."

Ray stood back; his gun still cocked, and watched Fraser cozy up to the good-looking stranger. If he didn't know Fraser better, he'd swear he was flirting. And where the hell was Fraser getting this transport business from?

The man stood before Fraser now and nodded his thanks to him. "I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. My ship malfunctioned while in hyperspace and I somehow crashed here. You are some sort of Galactic authorities?" His spoke with an accent. Fraser couldn't quite place it but his language skills were unquestionable.

"What the hell issat?" Ray spoke up, stepping between Fraser and the Obi guy, tucking his gun into his holster. "Galactic authorities? We're cops."

Obi Wan stared at the blond man, his confusion entering his face slightly. "Pardon me. I'm sorry. Where am I exactly?"

"I'll tell ya where you are and I'll tell ya where yer goin'. Yer on earth and yer headed to the psych ward at County General."

"Psych ward?" he questioned honestly. "Earth? I have crashed far out of my way indeed."

"Where were you heading Obi Wan Kenobi?" Fraser asked.

"A planet on the outer rim of the Galactic Empire called Tatooine. I have to aid my young apprentice there so that we may continue his training on Coruscant."

Ray shook his head violently. "Whaddya think here? That we just stepped outta the looney bin? You've been watchin' too many movies there, OB1."

Fraser turned to Ray. A flicker of irritation showed on his face. "Ray, this gentleman needs our help. You have not even remotely given him a chance to prove that what he says is true."

"Fraser," Ray looked at his lover, jealousy creeping into his face. "He's a nutcase. He thinks he's a damn Jedi. Tatooine? Apprentice? Come on Frase. Yer not buyin' this, are ya?"

"Ray, there are things in the universe that surprise us and baffle us. This is one of those things."

Fraser and Ray turned to Obi-Wan Kenobi who was inspecting his ship. "Is there anything we can help you with?"

Obi-Wan looked at the man in the red uniform. He was a nice enough fellow, eager to help, polite, and breathtakingly handsome. He wondered if most earthlings were like this. But then he looked at the blond man and knew they weren't. He had a feeling that the man in red was few and far between. "My hyperdrive is shattered. I'll need parts and tools to repair it. Do you know of a place that can help me?"

"Yeah," Ray spoke up before Fraser could get a word in edgewise. "The psych ward."

Fraser elbowed his partner in the kidney sharply.

"Ow!" Ray sneered slightly. "Whaddya do that for?"

"Ray, please. Show some hospitality."

"I think yer doin' just fine in the hospitality category there Frase." Ray snapped.

Obi-Wan spoke up then. "I'm terribly sorry for the bother. I do not want to cause a problem for you. If you could just point me in the direction of a hyperdrive parts dealer I'll be on way."

Fraser turned to the Jedi once more. "I'll take you there myself."

"Fraser!" Ray exclaimed turning on the Mountie. "Where the hell are you gonna take him? I mean a hyperdrive parts dealer?"

Obi-Wan had begun following the Mountie out of Mrs. Winchell's yard. Fraser asked Mrs. Winchell to avoid calling the newspapers at all costs and assured her that the craft would be out of her yard within the next two days.

Ray followed the two men who were now walking together. Jealousy and frustration filled him. Where the heck did Fraser think he was gonna take this guy, he thought.

Obi-Wan turned to Ray then, "I have no idea." He said. "He shields his thoughts with great success."

Fraser slowed his pace and Obi-Wan followed suit. Ray caught up to the men and stared at Obi-Wan curiously. He had read his mind. He was getting slightly freaked out.

Fraser looked at Ray then. "There's a place downtown. He should be opening up soon. He'll be able to direct us."

"Fraser, we're talkin' space parts here."

"I realize that Ray."

"Oh and I bet now you're gonna tell me that this place is run by a little green man."

"Well that's just silly Ray." Fraser commented lightly. "He's blue."

"Fraser."

"Come now, Ray. Haven't you ever seen MEN IN BLACK?"

**************************************************************************************

They walked into a computer software store, all three men. Obi-Wan Kenobi scanned the store with even more confusion. He turned to the man called Constable Fraser. "I don't think this is the place."

"Don't worry yet," Fraser told him, placing a soothing hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Ray seethed but remained in the background in attempt to save the dignity he was shredding with his obvious show of jealousy.

Fraser approached the man at the front desk and spoke to him quickly. He then returned to Ray and Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan spoke up first. "He can help us."

"Yes. He told me to bring you back later tonight. He'll need time to get everything together. And we need to put some money together." Fraser turned to Ray. "Ray?"

"What?"

"We need to get money."

"Yeah well I ain't got none."

Fraser turned away from his partner. He was disappointed in Ray's behavior and sensed there was more to his disagreeable nature than usual. Ray was always willing to give. Why not now?

Obi-Wan turned to Fraser. "He's afraid of your attraction to me."

Fraser eyed Obi-Wan, his surprise clouding his eyes. "Well he shouldn't be."

"Are you sure about that?" Obi-Wan smiled then, mischievously.

Fraser couldn't contain a smile. "I'm very much in love with Ray, Obi-Wan. I'm afraid that unless he were involved, there is no way I could act on my attraction for you."

Obi-Wan's smile didn't fade. "It's the boots, isn't it? It's always the boots."

**************************************************************************************

Ray, Fraser, and Obi-Wan arrived at Ray's apartment late that morning. Fraser had insisted at checking in at the Consulate and informing Inspector Thatcher of the situation. She excused Fraser with her usual charm and indifference. Fraser dug into his closet and pulled out a pair of starched boxer shorts. Pinned to it was a small leather wallet. Out of the wallet he pulled out several bills, the denomination of which Ray could not tell. They then left for Ray's apartment to finish out the day waiting.

Obi-Wan took in the sparsely decorated apartment and thought back to the Jedi Temple, where he lived as a Padawan, in a similar fashion. He wondered if this man could actually help him get back to space. After all, earth was a primitive blip on the Galactic radar.

Fraser watched Obi-Wan as he took in everything he saw in the city, the Consulate and Ray's apartment. His beauty was not lost to the Mountie and he felt his guilt creep into his face as he flushed while watching him. He knew that he loved Ray but his attraction to the young Obi-Wan was out of this world, literally.

Ray felt his face turning crimson as he watched Fraser fawning all over this crazed space guy. What the heck was Fraser thinkin'? Was it the pretty face that made him fall for all this space mumbo jumbo, hocus-? Ray had to admit that the young guy was good lookin'. He carried himself with poise similar to Fraser's. Maybe that's what was drawing Fraser to him. He was so like him it was scary. Ray shook his head, trying to chase the thoughts out of his head.

"Impossible," Obi-Wan said, standing next to him then. "You can't chase away such thoughts. They'll consume you until you face them and conquer them."

Ray looked at the youthful face. "You could be right."

"Your fear that your lover will betray you can lead you on a path that you may not be able to handle."

"I don't believe he'll betray me at all."

Obi-Wan kept his gaze fixed on Ray. "Then why do you worry so?"

Fraser approached the men, happy that Ray was now speaking kindly to him. Ray looked at Fraser and then at Obi-Wan. He felt devilish suddenly and took delight in his idea. I know you can read my mind, Obi-Wan, Ray thought, what do you think?

Obi-Wan smiled at the blond detective then. "I would be more than happy to participate in such activity."

Fraser eyed the two men who were now smiling devilishly at him. "What are you two talking about?"

"We weren't talking about anything, Frase." Ray smiled easily at his lover now. "He's pretty, isn't he Fraser?" Ray asked referring to Obi-Wan.

"Well," Fraser stuttered. "I can't deny, Ray, that I find him-"

"It's okay, Frase. Really. I think so too."

"Ray?" Fraser questioned him.

"Well look at him, Frase. The smooth planes of his face." Ray traced a line down Obi-Wan's face with his forefinger. His finger flowed downward, delighting in the sleek feel of him. Obi-Wan smiled at the blond man as he began his seduction scene.

"Ray," Fraser choked then, as he watched his lover touch Obi-Wan. He felt a burning in his groin as his excitement at the sight heightened.

"S'okay, Frase. Really."

Fraser stood frozen as Ray's hands began to strip Obi-Wan of his tunic. He couldn't believe his partner's 180 degree turn. Just an hour ago, he was ready to throw Obi-Wan in County General for shock treatment. Now here he is ready to throw him on his bed!

"Are ya just gonna watch Frase?" Ray's voice was playful but his hands continued seriously the task of removing every stitch of clothing covering Obi-Wan.

"Ray," he whispered one more time, desperation edging his voice as his erection seized his mind and senses.

Ray guided Obi-Wan in front of him, between Fraser and himself. A glorious, naked figure ready and willing to join them. "Hey, Frase. I wonder if these Jedi have powers other than that mind reading stuff."

Obi-Wan smiled at the Mountie. "My master made sure to educate me fully."

**************************************************************************************

They were all naked, the three of them. Fraser stood back, watching in enjoyment as Ray and Obi-Wan lay in tangles of arms and legs strewn across an unmade bed. He had thought about taking part in the sweet exploration that had begun on the young Jedi's body but found a profound excitement in watching his lover devour the young man in his bed.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was rather enjoying the attention the earthmen were lavishing on him. It had been quite some time since he the object of such abject male attention. Certainly not since Qui-Gon's death. The thought saddened him for a moment. But Ray's mouth covered his and brought him out of his revere.

Obi-Wan used his body with a keen knowledge of how to pleasure. It made Ray wonder what the heck they taught him in those Jedi schools he'd read about so long ago. Obi-Wan's fingers traced long lines on his back. Ray moaned with pleasure. He kissed the Jedi with a reckless abandon that caused both men to lose their breath. Ray's hands worked their way across his body, down his chest to his fully extended cock. A beautiful piece of machinery it was in itself. Ray had only seen one to equal it. That of course belonged to Fraser.

Fraser eased himself into a chair and kept his eyes on his lover's actions. From time to time, he would watch Obi-Wan's face and take in the expressions Ray was eliciting from him as he went down on him. Fraser wondered if he looked that when Ray was doing that to him. It excited him to think about it. He took his cock into his hand and began jerking off slowly, trying to match the pace with which Ray sucked Obi-Wan. He could feel Ray's mouth on him, as it had been so many times. He kept his eyes on Obi-Wan's face. His features contorted and he moaned in obvious pleasure as Ray sucked and licked and rubbed him.

Ray enjoyed fully the taste of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He eyed Fraser and took pleasure in Fraser's desire to watch him. It reaffirmed for him that Fraser loved to watch him. That Fraser found things beautiful about him that he didn't even realize were there.

Fraser continued on himself, increasing speed with Ray, handling the shaft of his own cock with a skill he had learned from years of chastity after Victoria. But soon he was climaxing, spilling his cum over his hand, onto his leg. It was a most powerful orgasm, one of the most powerful of his life. He averted his eyes back to Ray, who was keenly aware of Fraser's climax and was getting close to one himself.

Ray loved the sound of Fraser's moans as he came. It drove him harder, made him bolder. He eased Obi-Wan onto his stomach, whispering endearing words to him as he did so. He eased him up by his hips and pulled him close to him. He spit into his hand and lubed his cock generously. He parted the sweet firm buttocks and eased himself in between. He fingered the tight hole slowly, tracing wet circles in and around it. He brought his cock to it and eased it inside, slowly, waiting for Obi-Wan's body to yield. As it did, Ray moaned, his own pleasure heightened by the warm tightness of him. He pulled out a little and thrust back inside. He repeated the action more brusquely over and over until the two men moved in unison, crying out as climaxes shattered them both.

Fraser watched Ray cum. It was the single most exciting moment in his life. He wondered why he found it so exciting. But didn't think to ask, for he knew Obi-Wan knew the answer...

**************************************************************************************

Ray awoke with a jolt. He felt a warm stickiness against his body. He moved his head slightly and stared a peacefully sleeping Fraser. Wow, he thought, that was some movie...

The End