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Balm
As for my own wife, I have always known that she loved Aragorn first and best.
But I have never had cause to regret it. The men and women of three kingdoms
crave his presence as they crave sunlight. He is their savior, their champion,
their lord.
And I am his weakness.
He comes to me with the pain he will show to no one else, not even to his wife,
after all that she sacrificed for him. I do not know why he chooses me; perhaps
because I am the Steward of Gondor, bound to this land as is he, or perhaps
because I am Denethor's son, so he knows that I comprehend his suffering. The
wraiths that haunt his memories are no worse than those that haunt mine.
I know that he once loved my brother, and though I do not know the nature of
their bond, I can guess that it must have been deep for him to continue to mourn
so keenly. Legolas told me that Boromir died in the King's arms, his last words
an oath of allegiance. Still, I do not think Aragorn comes to me only to seek
his lost companion in a close relation. He and I have too much history of our
own.
He is kind and caring, and I cannot look upon him without seeing the eyes of the
man who brought me back from darkness, who kindled the light of knowledge and
love in me once more. When he touches me, all the sorrows of my life vanish and
I am healed anew. Yet I have no such skill to make him whole. I do not even know
what he lacks, whether the scars of his childhood run too deep, or he yet blames
himself for the failures of his ancestors. Is it the Ring that left such scars
in him, or something more subtlethe same force that drives men to lose
themselves in drink or throw themselves into battle?
I have nothing but love to offer the best-loved man in Middle-earth. Perhaps he
thinks that is enough, but it is not sufficient to break him of his need to
return. The pleasure I can give him is only momentary, yet he seeks it again and
again, like a warrior who keeps tearing at a scar to remind himself of past
battles. I fear that one day he will simply become tired of the secret struggle
and give in, lying down to die before the ravages of age lay bare his pain for
all to see.
Until then, I will try to be to him what he is to all of Gondor. It is a heavy
burden.
And so, perhaps, I do understand.
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Date: January 1, 2003
Title: Balm Author: Cruisedirector (cruisedirector@littlereview.com) Rating: PG Pairing: Aragorn/Faramir (implied Aragorn/Boromir) Summary: Peace and prosperity don't heal all wounds. Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the characters. This is slashy extrapolation on his story. Notes: Written for the contrelamontre "addicted" challenge, to write a story in forty-five minutes that's about addiction without actually saying the word or its synonyms. Mild ROTK spoilers. My web page: http://www.littlereview.com/fanfic/lotr.htm |
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