My first speaking role on television, other than commercials, was in 1994 on an ABC show that had just gotten picked up for a full season. It had been on for 11 episodes with the title These Friends of Mine, and they had just changed the name. So I was on the first episode of Ellen DeGeneres's show that aired under the title Ellen.
Flash-forward to 1997: I was still pounding the pavement in Los Angeles, trying to figure out the whole thing about being gay and being an actor. When I heard that Ellen was coming out, I was excited as hell--there was a buzz coursing through the gay community. And in the back of all of our minds was the thought, What's going to happen? As an actor, how safe is it going to be to be out there and be open?
The night her character came out on Ellen, I was actually working, doing Caroline in the City, and I had to have someone record the show for me. I was really bummed that I couldn't sit and partake in the community experience of watching it. It was absolutely historic.
As a gay actor, I was encouraged by the fact that she had come out and that she was OK. Life wasn't perfect--it wasn't always a bed of roses--but she was living openly, honestly, as who she was, and that was a good thing, and it boded well for my own coming-out.
[Last fall] I thought the fact that CBS, of all networks, was the one that put The Ellen Show on the air spoke volumes. They wanted her: her personality and her talent. What it said was that being gay--a gay star, a gay actor, a gay performer--is not a detriment. And I think that's a really good sign.
Things really came full circle the night Ellen hosted the Emmys [in November 2001] and got the standing ovation. I was really choked up by that--I had a big old smile plastered on my face, as did she, because it was just an over-whelming show of love and acceptance by her peers. It was extraordinary.
Life is always going to be a roller coaster. As soon as we accept that, we're in better shape. That has been Ellen's path, and invariably that will be my path. It's not always going to be perfect. But in balance, weighing it all out, the pros of coming out very much outweigh the cons.
COPYRIGHT 2002 Liberation Publications, Inc.
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