Title: Little Red Riding...
Author: thanatos
Series: DS9
Code: G/B
Rating: R - For some violence and suggestions of m/m sex
Challenge: AU; Use any Faery Tale and re-write it using Garak and
Bashir. (Prisca Banks)
Other: I was driving home and this just popped in my head. August 2003


Once upon a time there was a drop-dead-gorgeous young doctor by the
name of Julian Bashir. He was adored by everyone who looked at him,
but most of all by a plain, simple, and lustful tailor. There was
nothing that the tailor would not have been willing to do for or to
this beauty. Upon hearing that Julian had been promoted to Lieutenant
the tailor gave him a small but magnificent undergarment of red
Tholian silk, which suited him so well that he wore it wherever he
went and thus was always called "Little Red Riding Thong."

One day Julian's commander said to him, "Little Red Riding Thong,
here are coordinates and specs for a disease that is killing the
elder statesman of Prosen IV. She is ill and weak, and the medicine
will do her good. You must set out before it becomes too late. After
your shuttle lands, remember to stay on the path, or you may come to
harm. You need to reach her home by the end of the day or the
statesman will die."

"I will take great care," said Julian. His commander covertly admired
the view as the doctor hurried out of his office and headed towards
Runabout Pad C.

The statesman lived out in the wood, half a league from the landing
pad. Just as Little Red Riding Thong entered the wood, Dukat the wolf
met him. The good doctor did not know what a wicked creature he was,
and was not at all afraid of him.

"Good-day, Little Red Riding Thong," said he.

"Thank you kindly, wolf."

"And where might you be rushing of to, my pretty one?"

"To the Prosen village. Their elder statesman needs my help."

"How thoughtful of you. What have you got there in your med kit?"

"Medicine and diagnostic equipment. I will use them to help the poor
sick woman get stronger."

"Very commendable, doctor. How much further must you travel, Little
Red Riding Thong?"

"A good quarter of a league farther on in the wood; the village
stands under the three large oak-trees; you surely must know it,"
replied Little Red Riding Thong.

As the wolf nodded he thought to himself, "What a tender young
creature! What a nice plump mouthful -- he will be able to satisfy me
far better than the ungrateful Prosens have. I must act craftily, so
as to catch this prize." So he walked for a short time by the side of
Julian, and then he said, "See Little Red Riding Thong, how
interesting the plants are about here -- why do you not look round? I
believe, too, that you do not hear how sweetly the little birds are
singing; you walk gravely along as if you were going to a court
martial, while everything else out here in the wood is merry."

Little Red Riding Thong raised his eyes, and when he saw the sunbeams
dancing here and there through the trees, and pretty flowers growing
everywhere, he thought, "These fresh herbs may help cure the
statesman; that would please my commander. It is so early in the day
that I shall still get there in good time;" and so he ran from the
path into the wood to look for herbs. And whenever he had picked one,
he fancied that he saw a still healthier one farther on, and ran
after it, and so got deeper and deeper into the wood.

For a while Dukat was mesmerized as Julian's pert ass was thrust in
the air over and over as he bent down to pick herbs. Eventually the
wolf cleared his head and rushed to the village. When he arrived he
briskly knocked on the door of the revered elder statesman.

"Who is there?"

"I've brought Little Red Riding Thong," replied the wolf. "He is
bringing medicine you need; open the door."

"Lift the latch," called out the woman inside, "I am too weak and
cannot get up."

Dukat lifted the latch, slammed the door open, and without saying a
word went straight to the bed and devoured her. Then he replaced his
heavy cuirass with bedclothes, covered his head with a sleeping cap,
and tucked himself into bed after drawing the curtains.

All the while Little Red Riding Thong had been running about picking
flowers. When he had gathered so many that he could carry no more, he
rejoined the path and quickened his pace.

He was surprised to find the cottage-door standing open, and when he
entered he had such a strange feeling that he said to himself, "Oh
dear! How uneasy I feel today, and at other times I like treating
patients so much." He called out, "Good morning," but received no
answer; so he went to the bed and drew back the curtains. There lay
his patient with her cap pulled far over her face, and looking very
strange indeed.

"Oh! Elder statesman," she said, "what scaly skin you have!"

"The better for you to understand my illness, my dear," was the reply.

"But, statesman, what a thick corded neck you have!" he said.

"The better for you take my pulse, my dear."

"But, statesman, what large hands you have!"

"The better to caress you with, my dear."

"Um?ok. But, statesman, what a silky, masculine voice you have!"

"The better to seduce you with!"

And scarcely had Dukat said this, than with one bound he was out of
bed and scooping Little Red Riding Thong off the floor. Try as he
might Julian knew he was no match for the wolf. He soon found himself
pinned to the bed by one arm while the other tore at his clothes.

Just as the wolf shredded the doctor's pants revealing Julian's
namesake the plain, simple, and lustful tailor burst through the door
seeing red. He quickly composed himself and calmly raised his
phaser, "How very predictable, Dukat."

Upon hearing the voice of his long time enemy the wolf snapped his
head around and the young doctor sprang free crying, "Oh, how
frightened I have been!" Little Red Riding Thong quickly ran into the
arms of his courageous tailor.

Dukat snarled angrily at having suddenly lost his delectable prize
and lunged at the tailor. An instant later a phaser beam caused him
to crumple bonelessly to the floor of the cottage.

"However did you know I was here?" wondered the still shaking Julian.

"It was simple, my dear doctor. I couldn't bear to be apart from you,
so when I learned of your mission I headed to Runabout Pad C before
you arrived and stowed away on the ship. As soon you encountered
Dukat I knew I had made the right decision."

Julian blushed, "Thank you so much. I have learned my lesson. As long
as I live, when I am alone I shall never stray from the path to run
into the wood. Especially when my commander has forbidden me to do
so."

The tailor took Julian's head in his large gray hands and looked
earnestly into the young man's eyes, "If I have anything to say about
it you will never be alone whatever path you take."


The End