You Can't Resist, Mate! - The Gag Reel!
Crazy minds behind it: teh_farmer and drbillbongo
Pairings: Sparrington, Lambrusco/carpet, Jack/mast, Shig, octopus/Shadowland, knight/knight, Norrington/his desk, Gov. Swann/Norrington's flowerpot, Sparribs
Rating: NC-17 at its best
Date First Posted: 12/23/04
Beta courtesy/insanity: elessil and meletor_et_al
- Arrr we're demented! (Black_Claw)
Day 1:
Black_Claw: Counts something and thinks aloud.
DrBillBongo: "Well, mathematically that's quite wrong!"
-> Revival of the old debate about the necessity of mathematics in daily life ("When you're a cashier at a supermaket, you can figure out the sinus alpha of the cash desk...")
Continuing the earlier debate about Norrie's arse.
-> Sinus alpha of Norrie's arse.
Black_Claw: "Maths are soo erotic!" (an old quotation, too)
Black_Claw: Drops the speaker boxes
DrBillBongo: "Bloody Pirates!"
Black_Claw: "It's in me blood, mate!"
DrBillBongo: "What? Dropping speaker boxes is in your blood? Funny..."
Pirate Song!
Download: 'Wir lieben die Stürme.mp3'
TRANSLATION:
'We love the storms, the booming welters
The icy winds' raw faces
We've sailed the many seas
And our banner never sank
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho
The ship is floating proudly through the foaming waves
The wind is tightening our sails with power
Do you see the banner turning, up above,
The crimson banner, sailors beware!
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho
Aye, we are pirates and sailing the seas
We don't fear neither death nor the devil
We're laughing at our enemies and all dangers
Only at the bottom of the ocean we'll find our rest
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho
Hei yo hei yo, heio heio hei yo ho, hei yo, hei yo ho, hei yo ho'
After about 1.5 bottles of Lambrusco:
DrBillBongo: Drops Black_Claw's wine glass
Black_Claw: Tidies up and drops wine glass again until its whole content vanishes into the carpet.
Hmmm, Carpets...
Day 2:
Shopping by fanfics:
- Bananas (-> Mercy - Webcrowmancer)
- Oranges (-> Mercy - Webcrowmancer)
- Rum (-> All fanfics?)
- Cereals (DrBillBongo: Porridge)
- Honey (-> Honey - Belladonna Poisoning)
- Tropical fruitcocktail (+ rum = rumbowl! Which we will defend with our lives...) (-> Cupid Series - Webcrowmancer)
Jack and Will are on the Dauntless, Jack points his pistol at Gillette.
Black_Claw: "Squint... Gillette is cute!"
DrBillBongo: "Do you know what you just said? Squintette! (Geman: schielen -> 'Schielette')
'1st script draft':
Black_Claw: "Pic 19: Norrie lies in the bed and sleeps. On his belly."
DrBillBongo: "Why?!? Would be funny..."
Black_Claw: "No, we won't shoot the arrow in there! But... The arrow hits and then lots of little hearts fly around... What else that might cause?"
DrBillBongo: Laughs madly.
Black_Claw: "Funny - now I'M defending Norrie already... That's usually your job."
DrBillBongo: "OH GOD, then Jack becomes an 'Elf-Boy', too, with the bow and arrow ..."
Idea for the bookshelf: 'Debauching Sir Robert' by Captain Jack Sparrow (-> The Final Step - Yrgoddess)
On title-search:
DrBillBongo: "I know a song with the line:'Like an Arrow to the Heart'. What about: 'Like an Arrow to the Arse?"
Music: Stratovarius - 4000 Rainy Nights
DrBillBongo: "Stop, I think I've just heard 'Norrington'!" Rewinds.
Text: 'You gave your heart away, knowing it might not last.'
DrBillBongo: "Man, I'm fuck'd up!!"
ca. 4am:
Black_Claw: Is washing her face and bows over the wash basin -> her toothbrush sticks in her hair.
DrBillBongo: "Braiding things into your hair is not what I meant by... oh, but I'm the commodore..."
Black_Claw: "Awww, shut up! You with your mop on your head!" Laughs madly "Mop on the head and a stick in the arse..."
DrBillBongo: Blathers something about Norrie's 'horselegs'
Black_Claw: Doesn't listen (as always). Talks about sodomy.
DrBillBongo: "Hmmmm, this gives the term 'horselegs' a whole new meaning..."
Day 4:
DrBillBongo: "Dementedness, your name is Black_Claw!"
This all started with a discussion about Jack's different ways of grinning...
DrBillBongo: "Do you know the pic where Jack lies on the fallen mast where he's supposed to run after the monkey? As if he's shagging the mast. Looks like a pin-up girl. Hmm, we could draw that..."
Black_Claw: "Pin-up pirate!"
Reference pic:
Day 5:
Black_Claw: "We'd better be goin'."
DrBillBongo: "Nah."
Black_Claw: "Why 'nah'?"
DrBillongo: "Somehow I felt like saying 'nah'.
Black_Claw: *Rolls eyes*
Music: Nocturnal Rites - Underworld
Text: '...Welcome to my underworld...'
Black_Claw: "Welcome to my underwear..."
Pin-Up Pirate:
DrBillBongo and Black_Claw both desperately try to draw Jack's penis, with a pencil... always another one...
Black_Claw: "Now it looks like he's got an octopus down there..."
DrBillBongo: "First he's got none and then so many!"
DrBillBongo: *wants to annoy Black_Claw*. "May I color James' wig?" (White wig on white background!!!)
Norrington redecorates:
Shig-Shag! (sheep + wig = shig)
Black_Claw: "Hmmm, shig... Shit, shag, ship,... So many things to make out of it..."
Music: Nocturnal Rites - Shadowland
Text: 'Rise up again, open Shadowland. A dream to be eternally. Live inside a dream, unseen'
DrBillBongo: "HMMMMMM!!!!"
DrBillBongo: "Considering the octopus... Then the Shadowland will be opened quite a lot... I guess, that's what you call 'nocturnal rites'..."
Day 6:
DrBillBongo: "Oooh, Jack looks soooo cute!"
Black_Claw: "Why, is he cryin' again?"
-> He is.
Day 7:
Music: Nocturnal Rites - Glorious
Text: 'And my death will be glorious'
DrBillBongo: "And my slash will be glorious..."
DrBillBongo: Is silly.
Result: "Cowrafington!"
Day 8:
Music: Nocturnal Rites - Change The World
Text: 'Join our hearts in unity now brothers of all...'
Black_Claw: "Join our hearts in nudity..."
Day 9:
Music: Nocturnal Rites - The Iron Force
Text: 'And by the powers that we hold in hand...'
DrBillBongo: "And by the powers, we are holding hands? Oh, how cute, Slash-Knights!"
Day 10:
DrBillBongo: "First of all you have to draw Norrie's arsecheeks!" (a bit too loud, Black_Claw's brother is next door)
Black_Claw: "You're an arsecheek yourself! Can you shout a bit louder?!?"
DrBillBongo: "Being Norrie's arsecheek is a really good job... You get to see a lot of Jack!"
DRAKE's Curse:
1: Drake parts the waters (Black_Claw forgot to draw a part of the ground he stands on)
2: Drake is soaring (Black_Claw forgot to draw the ground entirely).
3: Instead of his wig Drake is wearing earmuffs or, after a moment of madness, (historically immensely correct) headphones.
=> Drake is either cursed or God... (we worship him anyway)
DrBillBongo: Complains about Norrie's (yet relatively pink) bedclothes. "This kinda looks gay. But Norrie isn't... Oh... erm..." *coughs*
Pic 1:
Black_Claw: Draws Norrie's desk. "Hmm, now the desk has a dent..."
DrBillBongo: "Yes, and just look where! Looks like he's lifting the desk, too!"
Scans pic and names it 'Norriedent'.
DrBillBongo: "Well... This really sounds like a toothpaste..."
Pic 2:
Black_Claw: Draws flowerpot
DrBillBongo: "Is that a pisspot?!?"
Black_Claw: "Errrr, it should actually be a flowerpot... I don't think Norrie has a pisspot in his office! Next to his door!!! And Governor Swann comes in and says 'May I have a moment please?' (Look where his hand points at...)"
DrBillBongo: "'May I have a moment with your pisspot, please?'"
Pic 7:
Black_Claw: "I think we should rather write 'MAKE ready to dock' than only 'ready to dock'... Otherwise only HE is 'ready to dock'. But we want to dock the Black Pearl!"
DrBillBongo: "OHHH MY GOD!!! 'GIBBS - ready to dock!' That would be 'Sparribs'!!! Sounds like Spare Ribs... Yummy!"
Black_Claw: "Weeeeeelllll...!" *snorts*
Pic 17:
Black_Claw: Colours Jack's shirt in a brown tone.
DrBillBongo: "Whatever colour that is...?"
Black_Claw: "Dirt!"
Pic 30:
Black_Claw: Norrie is NOT!!!, I repeat, NOT farting!!!!!!
Pic 32:
DrBillBongo: Draws Norrie some drool. "Looks half-dead, as if the arrow had been a real one."
"Droolington"
Pic 34:
Black_Claw: Can't read: "Jack... I'm... I'm so horny that..."
Pic 38:
DrBillBongo: "Jack's trousers look as if they have folds... Looks funny!"
Black_Claw: "As if he's wearin' a string tanga!"
Pic 39:
DrBilBongo: "The first time we ever draw something particular of Norrie."
Black_Claw: "Well, yes. Jack somehow provokes these things... He simply is like that!"
DrBillBongo: "...Naked."
Black_Claw: Draws. "Damn, now I don't get that foot right anymore!"
DrBillBongo: "He ain't got one!!!"
Black_Claw: "?!? Foot?"
DrBillBongo: Dies from laughter... about a minute later: "I heard: 'Now I don't get his tits right anymore'!!!"
In German 'Fuß' (foot) and 'Busen' (tits) sound similar.
Pic 40:
Black_Claw: Draws Jack's fingers. Sketches the hand as a circle nearer to the hip.
DrBillBongo: "Now he's got a Killer-Finger! He shouldn't use that one..."
DrBillBongo: Sketches Drake to the wall.
Black_Claw: "Err, this is supposed to be the corner of the room!"
DrBillBongo: "Well, then Drake's moved a bit... To watch better. Drake's a total voyeur!"
And because DrBillBongo was bored after having drawn all the characters and Black_Claw started colouring, he thought about drawing something else...
Sooo...
You had fun?
