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Hunting Pirates At The Wedding


by Hija Paloma


Pairing: J/N
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Pirates of the Caribbean is owned by Disney, etc. No infringement intended.
Archive: Cultural Infidelities only. [Archived on Horizon with permission]
Originally Posted: 8/08/04
Dedication: This is for the_stowaway, who was very virtuous today. We can't have that, so I had to do something to counter it. This story also owes some debts to Claire's icon (made by koenta) which I have appropriated because I lurve it, and "a fucking desk," courtesy of monkeypuzzle.
Summary: In which Weatherby attempts to have a heart-to-heart with the Commodore at his daughter's wedding, and unwittingly interrupts a Very Tender Moment. Ahem



"You're the great pirate hunter; come and find me."

And James had done just that, hadn't he, had wandered through the governor's mansion, peering into closets and behind curtains and, God help him, under beds.

The governor's study wasn't the last room he'd thought to search, but it certainly wasn't top on his list. Not nearly scandalous enough, and so few places to hide—James checked the curtains perfunctorily before dropping his long frame gracefully into the solid oak desk chair.

Really, he had always envied Governor Swann this desk. Solid, with a dark, rich sheen to the smooth polished oak, ancient and lovely, no doubt full of history. Great things had happened atop this desk, he was sure of it. He stretched out his legs beneath it, making sure to catch Sparrow under the ribs, not the chin.

"Uff!" James smirked. Too predictable, really. "You've cheated, James, and there was no need to injure me besides."

"You might as well climb out of there, Jack, though I must warn you that I've no intention of allowing you to defile this desk. It's at least twice as old as you and I together."

"Pssht." Jack made a noise of dismissal and made no move to extricate himself from his hiding place. "At least three times as noble, too, no doubt, and don't be thinking you need to remind me that's my fault. Don't know what you're thinking, taking up with a lowborn scoundrel like myself."

James smiled wryly, glad that Jack couldn't see his face. They both knew that Jack had been born no lower than James himself, but Jack still thought that was a secret, and James wasn't about to ruin the man's fun. "I hardly know what I've been thinking, myself, these last few months. Flouting the law so brazenly to rescue the woman I love—not to mention the extremely distasteful company in which she found herself—and then continuing to do so to rescue the man she loves, knowing full well that I'll have to give her up to him, and dance at their wedding tonight with a smile on my face. Honestly, I don't half think I ought to flee this place as fast as the Escape will carry me, and turn pirate myself."

"Honestly, Commodore, I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You followed your heart, and there is no shame in that."

James attempted to cover the loud thunk of Jack's head hitting the top of the desk by scooting his chair closer. "I'm sorry, Governor, I didn't... I thought I was alone." The melancholy that he'd been sinking into was being pushed away by a rapidly rising panic.

Swann smiled and, God help them all, stepped into the study. "You were alone, no doubt; I missed you at the party and only just found you. Commodore—James, if I may—I know how hard it was for you to be here tonight."

James could only cough weakly in protest, as Jack had decided to take advantage of the opportunity before him and begun unbuttoning James's breeches. On the word "hard," he squeezed James's cock as though to demonstrate the concept. Damned, thought James, I am damned, and gone to Hell before my time.

Swann was babbling on, something about Elizabeth appreciating his friendship and Will needing a mentor—ha—and how was he supposed to think when Jack's lips were pressing against his most tender flesh, dropping soft kisses on the very tip of his cock, as Jack's callused fingers and the slick, cold silver rings sent shivers throughout his entire body? The governor paused, looking at James hopefully. Damned, James thought, and nodded.

"Excellent!" Governor Swann beamed. "Elizabeth will be so pleased. She seemed to think it was a bad idea, but I told her you wouldn't mind at all." James didn't even have the reserves left to worry about this; his wits had been in a state of sheer panic since Swann first interrupted their conversation, and as Jack slicked his tongue around James's cock, his wits left him altogether.

"Mmnrgh," he managed, a kind of muffled half-groan that Governor Swann, God love him, God damn him, took as agreement.

"Quite so. You're a good man, James." Swann's voice softened a little, and he smiled sadly at James. "Not that William's... but still, you know I would've chosen you for her."

"Thank—thank you, Governor Swann," James managed to choke out, his voice only cracking a little when Jack pulled back to mouth his balls, heavy and aching and what had he done to deserve this?

"Funny, isn't it, that Sparrow said much the same thing. That he was rooting for you, that is. Perhaps he saw something in you that Elizabeth did not." Swann's eyes twinkled when he was amused, and they were doing so now. He certainly didn't realize how tactless his last statement had been. Not that James cared. It was true, after all, and it did directly contribute to the fact that he was having a literally mind-blowing experience at this very moment. "Tell me," Swann pressed, as he leaned forward conspiratorially, "do you think he will ever be brought to justice?"

Jack froze, then very slowly released him, and James stiffened accordingly. Oh, and what a marvelous position he found himself in now. Stopped in the midst of some extremely inadvisable, yet undeniably exhilarating sex, to simultaneously assure the Governor that he would bring Jack in and hang him, and assure Jack that no such thing would ever happen.

James carefully slid his foot along Jack's thigh, needing the assurance of physical contact to strengthen his hidden message. "I stand by my assessment, Governor," he said carefully, "Captain Sparrow is the worst pirate I've ever seen. I have every confidence that Lieutenant Gillette will be able to bring him in, without any help from me." There was a pause while Governor Swann smiled widely, and then Jack rested his face on James's thigh, releasing a breath James hadn't known he'd been holding. A light kiss pressed against his knee; message received, then. Another kiss, this one on his thigh. And another, higher inside. Oh, bloody hell.

Governor Swann was going on now about James's dedication to the people of Port Royal, his service to King and Crown and Jack, the devil, the devil himself, had returned to his earlier attempt to drive James mad with his wicked mouth. It was, needless to say, working. James managed to maintain some semblance of control, limiting his participation in the conversation to murmured noises of agreement (he refused to call them whimpers) and the occasional, slightly strangled, "Yes." If Governor Swann noticed anything amiss, he certainly gave no sign of it. Jack, on the other hand, was laughing silently, his amusement rippling through his ribs against James's legs, through his throat, oh god.

James pressed his fist to his mouth, bit down hard into the ball of his thumb as he tried desperately to control his breathing. Jack, for his part, held his hips pressed firmly against the chair, keeping him from bucking and thrashing about as he shot into Jack's mouth. James briefly considered being grateful for that small favor, but dismissed the idea out of hand. And the bloody Governor was still talking.

"Yes, it upsets me, too. And after we were just starting to make progress with them... ah, well, they are a savage people." James stared blankly at him, having not a single clue what the man was talking about. "Come, James, let us rejoin the celebration, hmm?" Jack, being Jack, started laughing even harder at the unintentional double entendre. James debated kicking him again.

"I don't think I will, Governor Swann, if it's quite all right. I'm... not feeling my best tonight. Would you, ah, would you mind if I stayed here for a short time, took advantage of your study to collect myself a bit?"

Swann smiled indulgently. "Not at all, James. I shall make your excuses for you."

James managed to thank him, managed to actually look grateful when he did so, in large part because the governor was moving into the hallway and pulling the door shut even as he spoke. As soon as his footsteps faded down the hallway, he reached under the desk and hauled a suddenly boneless Jack up bodily. "I will murder you," he growled through clenched teeth.

Jack, infuriatingly, laughed. "You'd be lost without me, mate," he assured James. And the hell of it was, he was right.

James pulled Jack close for a kiss, then pressed him back against the desk, laying him down slowly onto its smooth glossy surface.

"I thought you weren't going to let me defile this here most noble and ancient work of art?" Jack teased, and James grinned in response.

"Never said anything about not defiling it myself," he pointed out, and proceeded to do just that.



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