At midnight in Port Royale, the shye Moon didst spye an most handsome Rogue upon the windowsill in the parody of a Tryst. Awaking with a start, that Brave Officer of His Majesty's Fleet did arise alarmed from Slumber, his gleaming Sword in hand and a cry upon his Ruby Lips.

But as he espyed the Pyrate closer, those Chocolate Eyes melted his Reserve and stiffened his Mettle. For in truth, no Heathen confection or pastry could match the Sweetness found there, even as Mints upon a Pillow lain most carefully might soothe and tempt the Palate of many a lesser Man.

As a Rose doth open to the Sun in a Pastoral Glade, the Commander sighed to see such Beauty, and gazed long upon the Countenance of Captain Jack Sparrow, for twas he, and none other!

The Scoundrel paused to tarry awhile, wondering at the Officer's uncommon hesitation. And as he tarried, his Dark Chocolate Orbes, they didst whirle most dazzlingly. "Ah, dost ye be giving me the Eye, fair Commodore?" inquired the mad Pyrate, inclining his head Curiously towards his most Dour Companion.

The Commodore's eyes flashed as Lambent, Stormey, Uncut Emeraldes, likened as if tossed by a most Ferocious Squall. He arose from his Bed most scandalously attired only in his Nightshirt, which did little to disguise his Fine Blade even as he cast his Sword away, all Thought of Violence forgotten for the nonce.

"For cert, I may be but a King's Man, but well I know a Good Man and a Hard One when I do see Him," said the Commodore, laying his own Hand daringly upon the Pyrate's very privity as he but lingered upon the Sill.

"Zounds, thou art the Ra'scallion! Takest thy hand from my pintle, lest thy Softer Bits be parted from thy Body, ere long!" The Pyrate gasped at the Officer's Quick and Brazen Grasp.

"Oh, my most Fond but Immoral and Immodest Companion," returned the Commodore. "Dost thee not know that a Bum-fiddler's but a Man in Uniform when the Mood takes him?"

At this, the Pyrate did nod moste Glum, and heaved a sigh that mayhap wouldst become even a fair Damsel, with the reply, "Yea, verily, I didst indeed suspect, though methinks thou wilt have split mine own Backside with the length of thy Fearsome Yardarm."

"Ye must ere be Brave, my Dear Own Jack of the Tar," said the Naval Man. "For with this Kiss I shall bestow mine own Favours and they bee Fonde indeed."

The Pyrate was moste moved at this, and upon viewing what could not well be hid by that faint Nightshirt, he didst freely rejoinder, "Forsooth, Noble Commander! Thy favours are Well-Endowed, even as thou hast promised! Swiftly then, let us enjoin betwixt these bedclothes without Delay, ere we spill too soon in Passionate Embrace!"

"Oh, Captain, my Captain!" the Commodore didst ardently exclaim at this.

"Oh, James, Oh, Jamie Love!" the Pyrate didst respond with equal ardour and Indecent, Wicked Intent, as becomes such Rogues, especially upon being found upon the Windowsill of such a Fine and Upright young Commander.

And the two Adjourned thusly to yon Bedchamber and Partook of each other's Pleasures until the Dawn found an Ending of their mutual Delights.

And belikes they did the Both come to an Bad End as must be Warned of to all those who would also Seek to Delight in similar Folly, for such Debauchery and Immorality tis well known of amongst the Godless Fellowes upon the Savage Islands of the Caribbe, when Come the Dawn the Commodore's own Maide didst find such Revealing Confectionary Stains upon the linen, that she didst Confess loudly as Such to those who would Keep their fair Town free of any such Frivolities.

And hence the Pyrate and the Commodore were forced to Flee that very Day for the Keeping of their own Lives, and were never more to be seen in Port Royale and may even at the Telling of this Tale be long ensconced in Hell or some other Wicked Place where such Rogues come to dwell; though betimes the common Folk of Port Royale would make Comment of them still, and it is Rumoured that a most Sweet and Rich Confection composed in Equal Part of Rum and Chocolate and other Exotic Spices were Created and oft Partaken of in their Name for many a Year thereafter.