"What the devil is this?"

"It is a bill, Commodore."

"I can see that, Mr. Taylor. What I would like to know is why on earth I am looking at a bill from The Gunner's Daughter, addressed, very plainly, to me."

"I shouldn't know that, sir. 'Tis not my business what a senior officer does in his off-hours. "

"Yes, you've no idea how senior officers spend their off-hours, have you?"

"I'm sure I've no idea what you mean, sir."

"Certainly you haven't. Now see here, Mr. Taylor, why has this bill come to me?"

"I... I would assume, sir—meaning no disparagement on your character, sir, a man's a man and a man... well, some men... have... er... that is to say, men of strong and upright character, such as yourself, have been know to... from time to time... er... indulge in..."

"Oh, do stop blushing, you're forty-seven years old."

"Yes, sir."

"Men of strong and upright character may have been known to indulge, but men who wish to keep their sanity and good health do not indulge in a pestilence-ridden establishment such as The Gunner's Daughter. And I assure you, Mr. Taylor, I wish to keep both."

"Of course you do, Commodore. Most wise."

"Then the question remains—why has this bill been delivered to me?"

"I assume, sir, it has been delivered to you because your signature is affixed to the parchment."

"Mr. Taylor. You have seen my signature on innumerable documents. Does that, by any stretch of the imagination, appear to be my signature?"

"I couldn't say, sir."

"'Norrington' is spelled incorrectly. 'Commodore' is spelled incorrectly. And my given name is most assuredly not 'Jim', nor is my middle name 'Agamemnon'."

"That is true, sir."

"Mr. Taylor, by chance has there been a sighting of the Black Pearl in the area?"