"See, another excellent reason why I confess I am somewhat fond of you," Jack said, rolling onto his belly and resting his uncomfortably pointy elbow and the surprisingly cold base of the bottle he was holding against Will's chest, "is that I get to have your rum ration."

Will didn't seem to take this as the extreme flattery it was meant to be.

"Your elbow is digging into my sternum," he said tersely.

"William!" Jack said sharply, pinching a nipple in the misguided notion that he had not got his meaning across simply because he did not have Will's full attention. "Are you unaware of the magnitude and fortuitousness of this happenstance?" He was still kneading Will's nipple quite thoroughly, and Will did seem considerably more focused on him now, which was always a bonus.

"So," Will said with an inscrutable expression, tucking one arm under his head, "I've got your affection because you get my rum ration?"

"You seem to underestimate my esteem of rum."

"No. I'm quite aware of your unhealthy obsession with the stuff. Do the other one now," Will added, glancing at Jack's fingers, "or you'll wear that one out."

Jack duly complied, his fingers skating across Will's chest, and grinned as Will hooked his free arm round him.

"Will," Jack said earnestly, "do you know what rum is?"

"Er, yes," Will replied, giving Jack's bum an annoyed squeeze. "It's molasses, and sugarcane, and water distilled together."

"No," Jack said sternly, relinquishing Will's reddened nipple so that he could wag his finger in Will's face. Will gave Jack a withering look and pinched his bum again. Jack was quite happy about that, and wriggled one bare leg between Will's. Then he remembered the lecture he was delivering, and lifted the bottle, rocking it from side to side.

"That is merely what rum is made of. What rum really is..."

"Is freedom?" Will ventured, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"NO. Not this time. Stop interrupting."

This time, Jack got a spank. Jack retaliated by sitting up and straddling Will's hips, then planted the bottle demonstratively back down onto Will's chest.

"What rum is, William, is not simply a heavenly decoction of all the sweet things in life, nor is it only a paean to the exquisite alchemy of quantity an' proportion an' time all balanced perfectly to make the ideal liquor. That's very distracting, you know," Jack observed, glancing down to where Will's large hands were running up and down his thighs.

"Yes, I do know."

"Marvellous. Well, keep up the good work. Right... rum, yes... It is not just all... whatever I said. You gonna go any higher at some point. Mine, preferably?"

"I'm waiting for you to tell me what rum really is, and hopefully that'll explain why my rum ration makes you so happy."

"Rum! Oh, yes. It's... the gateway to divine madness. Dionysian ecstasy. Holy delirium. It's melting into warm, dizzying, glorious joy, an' feeling your skin prickle with the sheer bliss of existence... ah, not unlike that, mmm... It's Maenads roaring naked under starlight sending Orpheus to his death." Jack, eyes closed, gave a small, thoughtful frown. "Though I suspect that had less to do with his denial of their faith, and more to do with his rejection of their dubious feminine charms in favour of something more like this," Jack said, tilting his head back with a lascivious purr, hips writhing against Will's, thrusting into his hands. "Ah, blessèd rum. It's every sailor who's ever called the sea his home. It's every ship, an' every briny wave lapping her hull. It's those soft, warm breezes that kiss your cheek as you stand in the bow an' feel happiness weigh in your heart so heavy it almost hurts. It's that dark, sticky scent of skin an' sex, an' your mouth like honey an' sin, an' the taste of you on me, an' it's good. Oh, it's good. An'... Hey!"

Jack blinked, and gave Will a disgruntled look. "Oi! Why'd you stop?"

Will squinted down at the bottle still resting on top of him, then looked up at Jack, eyes widening guilelessly.

"How on earth do they fit all that in there?"