Jack is making a face like a fish, he knows it: his mouth keeps opening and closing but no sounds are emerging.

“Come on: upstairs,” murmurs Jack Sparrow, yanking gently at Jack’s collar.

Helpless, Jack stumbles after him.  The rest of the pirate crew follow them with their eyes, and one points and guffaws.  By the time the hooting’s died down, the two of them’re halfway up the rickety stairs, Jack now being tugged along by one end of his shirtlace.  Jack Sparrow’s narrow, swaying hips are right in front of him, that arse is sweet and curved.  For a bloke’s arse.

“Um,” says Jack, halting.  Sparrow looks down at him, questioningly.

“Can I just confirm that we’re talking about the same thing?”

“How many possible interpretations of ‘fuck me’ can there be?”

“Well, at least two.  I’m just making quite sure that there are no expectations of reciprocity involved with this offer.”

Sparrow turns, and tugs playfully on Jack’s leash.  “Fear not.  Your precious arse is safe with me,” he declares.  But is that a note of disdain that Jack detects?

“No need to get snippy,” he says.  “I don’t see what’s wrong with me not wanting to be buggered.”

“Course not.  It’s only disgusting reprobates like yours truly who’d want such a thing.”  There’s definitely an edge to it now, despite Sparrow’s sharp-toothed grin. Jack bares his teeth.

“I didn’t say that.  I’m following you upstairs, aren’t I?”

“Ooh, am I supposed to be grateful?  That you’re willing to undertake such a hideous ordeal?”

“Well, it’s hardly my first choice of entertainment,” says Jack, who is actually pretty much in agreement with the suggestion that Sparrow could be a little more gratitudinous about this whole affair.

“Right,” says Jack Sparrow briskly.  “We’re done here, I’d say.”  And without another word he vaults onto the banister and slides down past Jack, flying off the end and landing with a a flamboyant whoop.  “Changed me mind,” he advises the taproom.

Jack skulks out, blue-balled and irritable as sin.  Dammit, he’ll have to go pay for it now.

END...

Want to go back to the BEGINNING?

 

Leave a Comment


Disclaimer: All characters from the Pirates of the Caribbean universe are the property of Disney et al,
and the actors who portrayed them. Jack Shaftoe is the property of Neal Stephenson.
Neither the authors and artists hosted on this website nor the maintainers profit from the content of this site. All content is copyrighted by its creator.