But From Thine Eyes

or, Between Love and Hate

Chapter 5

by

Teardrop69

James stretched, taking care not to wake Jack, who was still soundly asleep. He sat up, and then yelped. Yes, he was very certain the sound he'd just made was a yelp.

"Bloody buggering hell!"

Jack jerked awake and rolled to a crouch, swatting his bare hip in search of his pistol. "Where be the scurvy dogs?!" He looked around wild-eyed. Seeing no horde of screaming madmen descending upon them, he turned his narrowed eyes on James.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Troubles, then?"

James was caught between laughter and more swearing. He tried to casually stand up, and settled for more swearing.

Jack just stared at him.

"Oil and sand do not mix well. In fact, I would go so far as to say that oil seems to attract sand. And if you'll recall exactly where I was covered in oil, which has now attracted sand, perhaps you'll begin to understand my swearing." James thought he was being very reasonable pointing this out.

Jack turned around. To give him full marks, he did not even crack a smile until he'd done so. James noticed handprints on Jack, one on his hip, another on his thigh, that were nicely matted with sand. My handprints. James rather liked that thought. Jack began to quiver. And then make sounds. Disturbingly squeaky sounds. Sounds much like someone trying with questionable success not to burst out laughing.

James took a step towards Jack, and yelped again. "Damn you, Jack." He clenched his jaw, and headed for the lagoon, instead. Jack looked over his shoulder to watch James, and began to chortle as he watched James walk bow-legged towards the water with the occasional grumble or curse. By the time James reached the water, Jack was gasping for breath and holding his sides from laughter.

James strode into the water until he was waist deep, then crouched down, letting the water cover him. Jack managed to get himself under control after much effort, and after rummaging through his clothing, then through the pouch that usually hung at his waist, he came up with a grey lump of soap. He then headed for the water himself.

"Don't typically wash in salt water, but I'm thinkin' ye wouldn't make it to the stream walkin' like that." Jack was rather proud of himself for not snickering again. He tossed the soap to James.

James caught it, and began to remove the oil from sensitive places. He finished, washed the rest of himself, and headed back out of the water, handing the soap to Jack on the way by. When he got to his clothes, he spread his shirt out and sat down, pulling off the wet bandages from his leg. It was healing nicely, the burn not as bad as it had originally looked. The skin was still red and even weepy in small spots, but James had been lucky, and there had been no infection. He covered the injury back up, and then pulled on his breeches. The lashes on his back were also nearly healed; with any luck, there would be no scarring.

Jack finished bathing, and was headed back up the beach by the time James managed the buttons on his breeches. He bent down and grabbed his shirt, shaking out the sand. As he slid it on, his eyes met Jack's; Jack tilted his head to one side, but merely picked up his own clothing and began to dress. James didn't bother to try all the buttons of his shirt. He was going to give the informal look a try today.

"Regrets, mate?" Jack's voice was neutral, his usually expressive face still.

James looked at Jack, his own expression unreadable. "Not really."

Jack nodded.

"Well, one..." James frowned.

"Aye, and that would be?" Jack raised that eyebrow again.

"Not washing that oil off last night." James gave Jack a half smile.

Jack's eyes warmed. "Aye, I'll believe that for the truth." Jack grabbed the flask from the sand, and tucked it and the soap into a pocket. "Let's go see what the buckos found to break their fast, aye?" He led the way back over the rocks.

James was much more cautious on the rocks than he'd been the evening before; but they made it back to the longboat with no mishaps. The sand around the extinguished bonfire was littered with sleeping pirates, a few wrapped together under a shirt or topcoat. AnaMaria was asleep in the longboat, but at their approach, she sat up. She didn't look particularly worried, but James got the feeling she'd only been dozing. She confirmed his deduction with her first words.

"Ahoy, cap'n. Been wondering when you'd show up. I decided to snooze here, so I didn't miss you."

"There be trouble?" Jack asked.

"Nah. Just figured you'd want to head back to the Pearl, and I'm ready to head back myself. I sleep better with water under me." AnaMaria shrugged.

"Well, since all the other swabs are still abed, we won't be gettin' any food 'ere anyway. Let's make for the Pearl; Gibbs and some of the other lads can bring the longboat back." With that, he gave the boat a push, and shortly they were on their way.

*****

Several times during the day, he'd make his way over to James, and they'd sit for a while and talk. Sometimes he'd ask James for his opinion about different methods used to make repairs, other times they'd have personal conversations. Jack was always fascinated with any details James would tell him, though Jack was more reticent with his own. James wondered sometimes if Jack was being deliberately vague.

They would spend the nights in Jack's bed or the smaller beach, sometimes indulging in love play. Jack always let James lead the way, and James understood without being told that Jack was doing this for James's benefit. James learned the many little sensitive places that made Jack whimper, and Jack spent hours just exploring James's body. But for the culmination, James always, always was given control.

Sometimes, they'd just talk some more. James had nearly given up getting details out of Jack, when he stumbled upon the secret to getting Jack to talk, purely by accident. During one quiet conversation, James gave a tug on one of the many baubles adorning Jack's hair. "What are all of these, Jack? You've quite the collection all tied up here." He'd asked the question with only idle curiosity; he assumed that they were mere trinkets.

Jack's smudged eyes grew distant. "They're people, mate."

"People?" James turned the object in his fingers. It was a carved white die, a hole running through the pip of the one, through to the center of the six pips on the other side. Bits of hair and thread ran through that hole, attaching it tightly to the cord of hair it hung from.

"Aye, some. Some are memories," Jack's voice was quiet.

James turned the die once more then went still, as the significance of this revelation hit him. "Each one?"

"Aye. That die yer holdin', that's the time I escaped the boys of the East India Company. It brought me good luck." Jack smiled at the memory, but James's eyes flicked to the brand on Jack's arm.

"And this one?" James gently tapped a small tarnished button.

Jack caught the button with between his finger and his thumb, and looked at it, a bit cross-eyed due to its location. "That one be me mum. I swiped it from the sleeve of the dress she were buried in. She wouldn't 'ave minded, I think."

James's throat tightened. Memories. Jack carried his memories with him, physically. During the years he'd been separated from the Black Pearl, he'd still had his history with him. Somewhere in that tangle of beads and hair and other objects, James was certain there was a small piece of the Pearl. James spent the next few hours pointing out objects, mostly beads, but for each Jack had a story. There were always more stories, as well. James figured there would always be one more story than he'd already heard.

James spent some of his time alone thinking about the changes in his life. He was growing quite fond of Captain Jack Sparrow, and this could lead to nothing but trouble. He also thought about the Turners; as far as he knew, they were still strictly within the law, but he knew they skirted the edges of it. No one had to tell him that to sail the Caribbean, there were times where there was no other choice but to kill or be killed. James was pondering this very thing one afternoon after they'd been anchored in the cove for about a week, when Jack approached him where he sat on deck.

"We're about to set sail, mate. The Turners will be waitin' for us; shouldn't take us more than an hour or so to get to the rendezvous," Jack told James. "Ye want to take the helm?"

James was surprised, but agreed. He was also surprised by the responsiveness of the Pearl; The Dauntless was larger than Jack's ship, but was like steering a pregnant whale. Even the Interceptor, and the Myrmidon as well, which were smaller than the Pearl weren't as easy to captain. Jack's estimate that they'd meet up with the Turners within an hour was optimistic, however.

While they waited, a shout came from the crow's nest. Gunn had turned over a new leaf (again), and was taking his duties seriously. He shouted down that there was a sail on the horizon, and it wasn't the Sparrow's Song. Jack's face lit, a wolfish grin appeared on his lips, and before James could protest, he'd ordered the Pearl's colors raised and took command of his ship. James grew alarmed; he'd never expected Jack to actually participate in piracy with him aboard. The smaller ship spotted the Pearl, and quickly put on more sail, obviously hoping to outrun the pirate ship.

James knew that they had no chance, however. He'd seen the speed of the Pearl, and if Captain Sparrow wanted that ship, that ship was his. James tensed; he waited for Jack's signal to pursue the fleeing vessel. But for some reason, none of the crew showed any sign of haste. James watched the ship grow tinier, and just when he thought that Jack had only had the flag raised to scare the other ship, he gave the order to chase. Now the crew snapped to attention, sending the Pearl after her quarry. James was completely baffled by this; what was the point of letting them run, only to chase them down?

The Pearl sprinted after her prey, and on Jack's face was a look of utter joy. They chased the other ship for nearly thirty minutes; they were gaining. James was so caught up in watching Jack, he failed to notice that the smaller ship, although not able to outrun the Pearl, had reached the safety of a reef of shoals up ahead. Jack laughed, and ordered the Pearl to desist, and return to the rendezvous point.

They still reached the rendezvous ahead of the Sparrow's Song, and had time to spare. Jack turned the helm over to AnaMaria, and swaggered over to the rail where James had been standing since the short chase had begun. Jack's face still wore a happy grin, and several other crewmembers were whistling, or laughing with their fellows.

"What was that all about, Jack?" James scowled at him.

"Which?" Jack gave a short laugh.

"You didn't have any intention of catching them, did you?" James asked, his temper slowly draining away.

"Make no mistake, luv. I meant to catch 'em. I just gave 'em a 'eadstart, is all." Jack was still grinning.

"For what purpose? What if they'd fought? What if you'd caught them, then?"

"If they'd have fought, they'd have lost. And if we'd caught them, we'd have grabbed a trinket or two, and let 'em on their way." Jack laughed with delight.

James looked completely baffled. Jack leaned on the rail next to him, and considered. He decided he'd give it a go, trying to explain.

"James, ye remember that cave, the one with all the lovely swag?"

James nodded.

"Ahh, good. So do I. So it stands to reason that me an' my crew, we're 'bout as wealthy as a person could want, aye? That's where the funds for the Turner's ship came from, ye savvy?"

"Then why harass them?" James furrowed his brow.

"Well, for the thrill of the chase, mate. And for me reputation, and that of me Black Pearl. She deserves it, don't ye think? Tell me, luv, when is the last time ye 'eard that Captain Jack Sparrow destroyed a ship, or dispatched a crew, or stole an entire cargo from a captain workin' 'imself to an early grave just to make ends meet?"

James thought about that. "Not for more than a year."

Jack met James's eyes.

"Alright. So how often do you actually board another ship?" James asked, genuinely curious now.

"Rarely. When they foolishly fire first, or they surrender without a fuss. And then only to teach 'em a lesson. It's the journey that's the draw, aye? It's always what's beyond that horizon. Not all treasure is silver and gold, luv. It always comes back to that."

James became lost in thought. It's a game of cat and mouse, then. He thrives on the freedom, the adventure, not the kill. He watched as Jack went over to one of the pirates on deck, and they laughed together at something the other man said. None of the others seem to be disappointed that the ship got away, either. He stood there, lost in his thoughts for quite some time, until again a shout was heard.

"Sail ho!"

This time it was the Sparrow's Song, and as she pulled along side, Jack made ready to join the Turners on their ship. Soon they were anchored side by side, and as a plank was run out to the other ship, James watched Jack nimbly sway his way across to hop down on the deck and pull Will and Elizabeth both into a quick hug. They talked for a few minutes, Elizabeth glancing at James at one point; he was surprised to realize he didn't feel the dregs of bitterness he'd felt when he'd seen her just a scant week ago. After a few more minutes of conversation, Jack came back aboard the Pearl, and came over to James.

"Do ye 'ave anything ye want to grab before we board the Song, luv? I don' remember ye havin' much in the line of possessions, but if ye want anything, ye should grab it." Jack nodded at James.

"We're sailing with the Turners?" James asked, surprised.

Jack had turned and was heading towards Gibbs and AnaMaria, but at James's surprise, he stopped and came back. "Aye? I told ye they'd be takin' ye back to Port Royal, didn't I?" Jack sounded genuinely puzzled by James's surprise. When James said nothing, Jack shrugged, and made his way over to his first mate and bo'sun.

In the end, after some more discussion, they all agreed to leave the next morning. Jack and James would travel with the Turners, and the Pearl and crew would wait somewhat beyond the sight of the fort itself. James was rather glad that Jack was going to join him on the last leg of the voyage; he wasn't sure how things would stand between them once he was back at Port Royal, and Jack returned to the Pearl, to continue on his adventure. Jack had alluded to future plans, but he'd never offered any details, and James realized that all things considered, the less he knew the better.

James had been a study in avoidance on the topic of his feelings for Jack. He admitted to himself that there was very little chance that he'd be able to bring himself to see Jack as nothing more than another pirate to bring to justice, but beyond that, he refused to think about it. He reasoned that he'd have plenty of time when he was settled back at home. Home... why doesn't it really feel like going home then? It's been quite a while since I've been there. I've spent more time in barracks in London and aboard ships the past year than in Port Royal. He sighed.

The Turners joined Jack and James aboard the Pearl for supper. They talked about their trip to Tortuga, and Jack told them about the little ship he'd chased before they'd arrived. Elizabeth smiled while James repeated a story he'd heard from one of the pirates while they'd been back at La Isla de los Sueños, but she was only half listening. She was back at her favorite pastime, which was watching people. And what she saw had her mentally crowing with delight. Although Will was still watching her, it seemed that Jack's attention had found a new target; and during James's story, James's eyes kept touching back on Jack, as if to make sure Jack was still there. Elizabeth was thrilled, and her smile practically glowed. She was fond of Jack, and of course of James, and figured they both deserved a chance to be happy.

Later that evening, Elizabeth said as much to her adoring husband. "They just couldn't keep their eyes off of each other!" She laughed delightedly and sat cross-legged on the bed in their cabin.

Will gave her a doubtful look. "Are you sure, Elizabeth? After all, it's Norrington. Confirmed pirate hater. You know the fellow." He raised an eyebrow at her. She loved that affectation; she knew that he hadn't really used that form of expression before he'd met Jack. "Besides," Will went on, "I thought Jack was mourning over me." He sounded vaguely put out.

"William Turner, you are not jealous?"

Will recognized that look. She was going to laugh at him. He just knew it. "Well, not jealous, exactly..."

She laughed. Loudly. "Oh come now, love, don't be selfish. You stole me from James and yourself from Jack. Quite the pirate, you are. It's only fair that you let them have each other. There's other treasure out there waiting, after all." She smiled fondly at her husband.

Will sighed. "You're right, of course." He walked to the bed, and leaned over and kissed her, leaning her back onto the bed. "I have all the treasure I want right now, anyway."

*****

His commodore. There was one for the history books. Jack Sparrow, Pirate Captain of the Black Pearl, carrying on with a Commodore of His Majesty's Royal Navy. Jack rather liked the sound of that. Perhaps it was time to make a better effort on his dreams. It appeared that having a friendly port he could call home within a few days sailing of Port Royal was going to come in handy sooner than he'd thought. Now he just had to convince James that this could work out. He wasn't altogether sure that James would agree to keep on seeing him. In fact, he wasn't sure at all why James should. But he was Jack Sparrow, and he wouldn't give up without a fight, not when there wasn't any reason not to fight.

The next morning dawned as perfect as a day was likely to get. There were no clouds in the eggshell-blue sky, and the breeze toyed with the Song's sails, pushing her along. Small waves were also tossed up by the wind, sprinkling the air with sea-spray. Jack stood at the railing, watching the Black Pearl fall behind; she'd wait for his return here. Jack figured there was no sense in getting all the lads at Port Royal in an uproar for nothing, and seeing the Black Pearl sail into port was likely to do just that. He leaned on the rail, and smiled, admiring the way his ship settled gracefully to anchor.

Elizabeth approached, and leaned on the railing next to Jack. She was dressed again in breeches and a large shirt, but he had a feeling she'd be changing before she went to visit her father. She didn't say anything for a bit, and Jack was starting to suspect she was here to advise him again to find someone else besides her husband to pine for from afar. He gave a little laugh. Elizabeth looked at Jack; neither noticed James approaching, his bare feet silent on the deck.

"So, Jack. Are you and James...?" She let the question ask itself.

Jack gave her an appraising look, his head tilted to one side. "I suppose we are."

Elizabeth gave him a brilliant smile. "I knew he wanted you. I could see it before."

Jack puffed out his chest, and arrogantly winked at her. "Of course 'e does. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, luv."

Elizabeth replied to that with one of the unladylike snorts of disdain she had picked up from somewhere. "Well, if anyone could steal his heart, Jack, I suppose it would be you. So what next, then?"

James had tensed and stopped a few feet away when he'd realized what they were talking about. Now he waited, unthinkingly holding his breath, interested beyond measure in Jack's response to this question. Maybe if he knew, it would be easier to figure out his own feelings for the proud pirate.

Jack's eyes skittered back out to where the Pearl was shrinking into the rising sun. "Take what ye can, give nothing back."

James narrowed his eyes, turned, and walked away.

Elizabeth sighed. "That's not really how you feel. I can read you, Jack, remember?"

Jack turned away from the rail, leaning with his back against it, searching for James among the crew of the Song. Finding him walking towards the ship's helm, he thought for a bit before he answered. "I suppose yer right. 'E means more than that. But it's not likely to work, now is it? 'E's a commodore. One none too fond o' pirates, at that, which I jus 'appen to be."

"Don't count on that, Jack. I believe he cares for you too. Why not just take it as it comes, and give him a chance? I know you have other plans... not piracy forever." She brushed a hand through her hair, and tilted her head to the side, looking up at him.

"Elizabeth, I'll always be a pirate. Even if I never sailed again. And ye don't see that happenin', do ye?" His liquid brown eyes locked onto hers.

She shook her head. "Still, don't sell him so cheaply. He could surprise you." She paused. "Why piracy, then? You have all the riches you could possibly want."

"Ye know the answer to that, luv. It's not the riches, it's the treasure. And the freedom. It's the same thing ye 'ave 'ere with yer Song" He rubbed a hand along the railing. "It's what's beyond that horizon."

"Well, you were right about that, weren't you. She's freedom." Elizabeth was silent for a while, her thoughts on the horizons she and Will had yet to chase. Finally she looked back at Jack. "So what's really next, Jack?"

Jack shrugged. "I guess I'll be goin' where 'e goes. It's not that 'ard to stay near Port Royal. Until .. well, until we can come to an accord."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "You'll compromise for him?"

Jack gave a little grumble. "Aye, I suppose I would, at that."

The stood there in silence for a while, each lost in their separate lines of thought. Finally, Jack couldn't stand the inactivity any longer, and he went in search of James, who had disappeared from the deck. He found James, only to have him make a quick excuse and go off in another direction. Jack wondered if James was more nervous about their impending parting than he was letting on. This thought calmed Jack somewhat; perhaps he wasn't the only one who was unsure about how to proceed. Jack concluded that he'd ignore James's nervousness, and let him know that Jack would be back to see him as soon as things calmed down. Jack knew that events were likely to get quite hectic when Port Royal's own commodore showed up out of the clear blue, without a Navy ship.

James was furious. The bloody pirate is just using me. And he doesn't even bother to try and hide it from anyone. Elizabeth didn't even seem surprised. Was she in on this as well? Off to Tortuga, to get information on the Myrmidon, indeed. That's twice she's played me for a fool, and I just make it easy for her, don't I. And Sparrow? James ignored the little twist of hurt in the pit of his stomach. He's a pirate. He's never pretended to be anything else. AnaMaria told me herself, he doesn't lie; he lets everyone else disbelieve the truth. I won't make that mistake again. James consoled his bitter heart with the thoughts of first chasing down the Myrmidon; if he had to go to Tortuga to get information on his ship, then there he would go. And after, well, there were still pirates in these waters.

James spent the rest of the morning avoiding anyone who was likely to want to talk to him. He also tried to ruthlessly squash the feeling of betrayal he felt; betrayal was being marooned by a crew of men who were paid to work for you. Betrayal was letting your own men die because you couldn't see the duplicitous actions of others before the fact. Betrayal wasn't fucking some treacherous pirate and then going home alive and returning to your normal life. James refused to listen to the little voice that insisted that it had been more than just sex, and that he should talk to Jack before jumping to conclusions.

The Sparrow's Song reached Port Royal shortly before sunset that day. Elizabeth was a bit bewildered by James's rather cool farewell, but when she asked Will, he persuaded her that both Jack and James were probably trying to figure out what this farewell would mean for them. Will helped lower the Song's longboat, and Jack had a quick discussion with the Turners, letting him know he was planning on coming right back to the Song after making sure James was safely on shore.

As they were rowing, Jack thought this would be the perfect time to let James know that he'd be nearby. Trying to catch James's eyes in the fading light, he wondered where to start.

"It's not the end, ye know," he said softly. Then a little louder, "I've been thinkin' about it, and I'm thinkin' that stickin' around nearby might be a good idea." He gave a half-smile.

James gave him a smirk. "Undoubtedly."

Jack continued rowing in silence for a while. Puzzled, he tried again. "The Pearl don' 'ave anywhere to be jus' now, so if ye don' mind, I'll just stay close to Port Royal for a while."

James said nothing, just turned and looked at the torches that were being lit up on the fort. Jack frowned. As they reached the dock, Jack could see several men in uniform paroling the shore. James reached for the ladder, and climbed up slowly, keeping his injured arm out of the way. When he was at the top, he turned and watched Jack climb. When he too was at the top, Jack glanced over James's shoulder, seeing the soldiers that had been keeping watch coming down the dock towards them.

Jack stepped close to James, and said softly, "Yer safe, luv, and I'll be back to see ye. Ye won't 'ave time to miss me." He gave James a quick smile, and turned to shimmy down the ladder back to the boat.

James heard this and his anger boiled up inside him. Jack really thought that he'd just be able to use him whenever it was convenient? His good hand snaked out and grabbed Jack's arm, spinning him about. Jack turned with a look of surprise on his face, but it was replaced by one of complete shock the next moment when he heard James call out, "Seize this pirate!"

The soldiers rushed up and surrounded both Jack and James, and when they recognized Commodore Norrington, they quickly grabbed Jack, and forced him to his knees. Jack was in such a state of disbelief that he didn't struggle; his shadowed eyes never left James's face, though, and he searched for some sign of what James was thinking. James eyed him for a minute, and then turned away, seething.

"Commodore, it's a surprise to see you, sir. We'd thought you lost." One of the soldiers offered James his coat.

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Please escort the prisoner to his cell." James shot Jack a look over his shoulder, then walked away.

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