But From Thine Eyes

or, Between Love and Hate

Chapter 7

by

Teardrop69

Will Turner had kept to his word in the week before Jack's departure. He'd actually gone beyond his word; he'd managed to keep Elizabeth and AnaMaria from showing up at the infirmary to collect Jack before he was able to travel, and from appearing at James's office demanding blood. This was actually an exaggeration; James had it from Will himself that while Elizabeth was upset, she'd also felt guilty. James had never quite been able to get straight on why, however. Will had also told James that AnaMaria was angrier than Elizabeth, but had agreed to stay on board the Pearl.

James had panicked that first morning after his meeting with Will Turner, when he'd awakened to find all three ships gone from his harbor. He'd been afraid that he'd lost the chance to get Jack safely away from Port Royal. He needn't have worried, however; Will had appeared that afternoon to meet with James again, and find out whether Jack's condition had improved at all. When James had asked about the ships, Will had given him a look that James had interpreted as indulgent amusement, and explained that all things considered, they'd felt safer where they weren't floating targets. James was reminded that the Turners had been living a less civilized life for several months now. It seemed that they'd learned more than one lesson in that time, as well as how to maneuver in a pirate sanctuary such as Tortuga.

James had received a visit from Governor Swann in that first week. He'd received the impression that though he hadn't seen Elizabeth, she had been to see her father. Furthermore, he also got the feeling that Governor Swann was aware that his daughter and son-in-law were in the process of ransoming a Navy ship for a pirate captain. Swann hadn't said so in so many words, but James had gotten a vague sense of amused approval from the older man when James had explained that due to a stroke of good fortune (oh, how that had been bitter irony), they would be regaining possession of the Myrmidon.

Although James had still paid daily visits to the infirmary, he had been unable to get a chance to talk to Jack. After it became obvious that he was being purposely put off, he'd quit trying. He could have pulled rank and insisted, but he knew that it wouldn't do anybody any good; Jack would only be 'asleep' if he did so. But still, every day had seen James in the surgeon's office, for a progress report on Jack's health. James had been relieved when Jack's fever had broken the day after the Turners had arrived. The physician had insisted that Jack would still need several days to recuperate before it would be safe for him to travel. James had been surprised when he'd heard that Jack had agreed without any fuss.

A week after the Turners and their entourage had appeared in Port Royal, the surgeon had announced that he was satisfied that Captain Sparrow was strong enough to travel. James had been outwardly relieved and inwardly devastated. Will had been making daily trips to see James; when James gave him the news, James had been uncomfortably certain that Will had expected something else, as well. But Will hadn't offered any explanation; he'd merely told James that he would be waiting for Jack at the dock at sunrise.

That morning, James had resolved to try and talk to Jack one more time. It seemed as if the fates were against him, however, when both of his most trusted lieutenants, Gillette and Groves, had arrived at the infirmary shortly after James himself. There was nothing he could do about it, though; he knew that any insistence on his part to escort the pirate by himself would be looked at suspiciously. Jack, for his part, had remained uncharacteristically quiet, without so much as a single outrageous proclamation or dramatic gesture; although he had solemnly met James's gaze with his own still-bloodshot stare. James didn't think he'd ever wanted anything so much as he'd wanted to see any sort of feeling in those eyes. He'd also silently cursed the fact that he couldn't just pull the other man into his arms, and try to explain everything.

When they reached the dock, James was surprised to see only the Sparrow's Song anchored a short distance away, and Will at the dock with a longboat. James had asked where the Myrmidon was, and Will had replied that they would bring the Myrmidon into port the following morning. James had protested, questioning why he should trust that they'd stick to their part of the bargain. Will had given him another one of those curiously significant looks, and said that he'd just have to trust, and have faith that the ship would be there. James hadn't argued; he'd understood the unspoken rebuke. And then he'd had to watch as Jack had disappeared aboard the Song, without ever having been able to say any of the things James had needed to say.

That had been eight long days, and seven often sleepless nights ago. The Myrmidon had indeed been at the dock the next morning, and that had been the last time James had seen anything of Will, Jack, or either of their ships. James had received many visits from townspeople, wanting to congratulate him on the return of the Myrmidon, and to assure him that they had been confidant of his abilities to protect Port Royal in the face of two pirate vessels. James had felt foolish each time he heard this; he knew, even if they didn't, that there had likely been very little actual risk to Port Royal.

Aboard the Myrmidon, James thought that having this ship back would be able to distract him from the thoughts that kept coming back to haunt him. Occasionally, some of those thoughts were even about something other than a pirate captain somewhere on an uncharted, unchartable island. He wondered what had happened to Cooper, and the rest of the mutineers who had marooned him a little over a month and a half ago. Had it only been a month? It seemed impossible. But he hadn't asked about the Myrmidon's crew, and details hadn't been offered.

But the nights, like tonight alone in his bedroom, there was no distraction from his memories. James remembered the twinkle in Jack's eyes when they'd argued; the one that told James that Jack cared more about the word play than the topic of conversation. He remembered those same eyes, filled with passion when they'd chased down the ship that had ultimately earned its freedom, though by a narrow margin. And he remembered those dark, bottomless eyes filled with another kind of passion, the desire and pleasure and trust in such contrast to the hot, provoking words that would tumble from Jack's lips when James was inside of him.

James grew hard at the memory of those words, of Jack begging sweetly to be fucked. The words Jack used to taunt him, urging him to take what he wanted, and consequences be damned. He imagined that Jack was here, his hands on James's hips, his lips on James's cock. Those stolen moments, every one treasured, played through his mind. James groaned; the images compelled him, and his hand strayed to his needy organ.

James closed his eyes, holding his breath. He recalled the sensation of slowly penetrating Jack, the catch in Jack's breath before he gave that curious purr. He stroked his cock as he imagined thrusting with abandon in that tight, hot arse; picturing Jack whimpering as his balls drew up and he came. Compared to the clenching, pulling heat that was sex with Jack, James brought himself to hollow completion; his seed pulsing over his hand to land upon his thigh, quickly cooling. It just wasn't enough.

It had to end, one way or another. There's no room for Jack Sparrow in Port Royal, even if he were content to be here. There's no room in society for Jack Sparrow and James Norrington as anything but enemies, a pirate and a commodore. James was standing in the dark later that night, staring out of his bedroom window towards the bay below. But... what about on La Isla de los Sueños? Is there room there for a commodore? And how about a pirate captain and a commodore who aren't enemies? Jack's crew had never even once made reference to the fact that their captain was keeping company with James. Elizabeth and Will had to have at least suspected, but hadn't seemed bothered by it, either. All moot points. He's gone, and I don't know how to get there, and wouldn't dare go there, if I did. Taking a Navy ship there would be idiocy in the extreme. And I am most certainly not welcome there, at any rate.

But what if he didn't try to go there? He knew the general direction; it was only two days distant by Jack's estimation. Even if he couldn't find the island without the secret Jack hadn't imparted, he did have a ship; he could hope that the threat of a Navy ship in adjoining waters might provoke some sort of response from either the Black Pearl or the Sparrow's Song. He needn't even lie to accomplish this, for with the two pirate ships in the vicinity, no one would question his desire to patrol the nearby waters.

Standing at the wheel of the Myrmidon a mere four days later, James wasn't as sure that this was the right course. After all, he'd inadvertently caused Jack injury, because of his damnable pride. Would Jack even want to see him again? And for all he knew, Jack hadn't been interested in anything other than meeting for sex now and then. But the shell? Alright, maybe it's more. That didn't mean that Jack felt the same way now. He'd betrayed Jack. James wasn't certain that had the circumstances been reversed, he'd be able to forgive.

The Myrmidon spent the next few days sailing to the southeast. James was discouraged that they'd seen no sign of either the Sparrow's Song, or the Black Pearl. They hadn't even seen any sign of other ships, period. Finally James had to admit that this wasn't going to work, and after ordering a return to Port Royal, he handed the wheel over to Lieutenant Gillette. He spent the rest of the day in his quarters.

They were less than a day out of Port Royal, when they encountered another ship, seemingly just out of Port Royal itself. James was in his quarters, where he'd been since they'd changed heading, when the shout came that there was a ship ahead. James was confident that there would be no trouble, but in a few more minutes, another shout went up; the flag that was being raised was that of Jack Sparrow, but the ship was not the Black Pearl. James was on his feet and on deck in an instant; sure enough, there ahead was the Sparrow's Song.

"Steady! Let her approach." James heard a mutter behind him, and he turned. "That's Governor Swann's daughter and son-in-law, regardless of the flag they're flying. Anyone who wants to discuss my decision may do so with the Governor when we reach port, after a stay in the brig for the remainder." James's eyes were wary and brooked no argument; he wasn't about to lose his ship a second time to some soldier with an overdeveloped sense of outrage. Both Lieutenants Groves and Gillette were at his side, and the mutterer didn't care to repeat his comments.

As the Song drew close, James could make out both of the Turners on deck, as was their usual habit. James was relieved to notice that Elizabeth Turner was smiling; that is until he caught the look on Will Turner's face. Mr. Turner was decidedly green around the gills. Suddenly James got a sinking feeling that he didn't want to talk to Mrs. Turner, after all. But he reminded himself that this was exactly what he'd hoped for when he'd left Port Royal, and drew himself up, clasping his hands behind his back.

There were already whispers behind him commenting on the style of dress Mrs. Turner was wearing; the sooner they were out of the view of his men, the better. Knowing he was only going to irritate Elizabeth more, but unable to break with custom in front of his men, he addressed Will Turner. "Mister Turner, your predilection for flying a pirate's flag is going to get you in trouble one of these days. Requesting permission to come aboard the Sparrow's Song."

Will turned another shade of green. "Permission granted, Commodore Norrington. And on the contrary, this flag has actually saved us more trouble than caused us."

James turned to his lieutenants. "Listen, both of you. Should anything unexpected occur, it is paramount that you return to Port Royal. Remember, this is the Governor's daughter, and there is no reason to think that any harm will come to any of us, regardless of circumstances. Do I make myself clear?"

Lieutenant Gillette gave the commodore a doubtful look, but agreed. Lieutenant Groves, on the other hand, had a curious expression on his face; James could very nearly see the speculations running through his head. Groves offered James the barest hint of a smile, and added his agreement to Gillette's. James was certain that at some point in the future, he was going to be having a talk with young Lieutenant Groves. James would worry about that later; he was going to need all his wits about him for the next confrontation, he was very certain.

Soon they were below in the Turner's spacious cabin. Nowhere near as grand as the captain's quarters on the Black Pearl, this cabin still had an open feeling to it, and there were enough chairs around a table near the center of the room for all three of them to be seated. No one availed themselves, however. In fact, the silence was becoming quite awkward, before James cleared his throat.

"Elizabeth, may I get a chair for you?" James asked politely.

"That's Mrs. Turner." Elizabeth's chin turned up and her brown eyes glittered.

Will winced. "Elizabeth, you promised."

James sighed. "It's quite all right. Mrs. Turner, then. A chair?" He moved to offer her a seat.

Elizabeth gave him her now familiar snort. "Don't think that that is going to work, Commodore."

"It's James." He took in her furious demeanor, and decided to try a different tack. He sat down in the chair himself.

Elizabeth's eyes widened then narrowed. "Very well, Commodore, shall we get started then?"

Will had watched the exchange carefully. Apparently deciding that a murder wasn't in the offing, he excused himself and crossed to the windows of the cabin. Almost immediately, he found something extremely fascinating out in the empty cerulean waves of the Caribbean.

"What can I do for you, then, Mrs. Turner?" James wished he had the panache to toss a booted foot upon the table as he'd seen Jack do on occasion. He thought that such an action just might push Elizabeth over the edge, however, and leave certain portions of his anatomy that Will had implied she'd like to damage far too vulnerable. He settled for leaning back in his chair, and crossing his arms over his chest.

Elizabeth's lips began to twitch. "Don't do that, James. I'm extremely put out with you. And it's not making it easier when you're using his mannerisms."

James arched an eyebrow.

"Oh, bloody hell. Does he teach all you men how to do that?" She sighed.

"Mrs. Turner. That's certainly not language befitting a lady." Some of the tension left James; he was mostly certain at this point that he'd make it out of this alive and in one piece.

"Bollocks. And it's Elizabeth." She scowled at him. "But I'm still angry with you. Do you want to explain yourself? Or shall I just have them dump you in the water, and hope your men care enough to fish you out of the drink?"

"First tell me how he is." James noticed that Elizabeth's eyes flickered when he made his request. Clearly she hadn't been expecting it.

"He's healing. Sort of. He's himself, but not." Her eyes were accusatory. "He works with his crew, he joins them when they play, he smiles, he talks, and he laughs. But he doesn't sing, James. He doesn't drink rum. And his eyes don't smile. You broke him, James. That's why I'm here. I want to know why, and what you plan to do about it."

James flinched. "I never meant for him to get hurt, I can assure y..."

Elizabeth interrupted. "I know about Thom Cullen. So does Jack. I don't hold you responsible for Thom's actions, and I'm positive that Jack doesn't either... well, at least not entirely. I'm not sure he believes it completely, though he won't say why. I'm talking about why you betrayed him. Why you took him captive in the first place."

Now James was uncomfortable. He knew this was at the root of it all; none of it would have happened had he not taken Jack captive. And he had no good answer. He straightened up in the chair, as Elizabeth pulled one of the other chairs near and sat down. James sat silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts and his courage. It was funny how he never felt off balance until he was in the presence of Elizabeth or Jack. He wondered what that said about him, and them.

"I overheard you and Jack talking. They say that when you eavesdrop, you will never hear anything good said about yourself. It seems they are right." James glanced over at Will, who was still quietly looking out the window.

Elizabeth looked surprised. "What did you hear? I can't imagine anything that might have been said that would precipitate that kind of reaction."

"It seems that you were discussing the future of..." James shifted uncomfortably. "Well, the future of any relationship between Jack and myself. I believe the words were 'Take what you can, give nothing back.'"

Elizabeth stared at James. "Let me get this straight. You risked Jack's safety, and nearly caused him to lose his life, because of pride? He's ... because your feelings were hurt?"

James could feel himself getting red. He didn't say anything, and when the silence stretched into a distinctly angry pause, he wondered what he could say that didn't make him sound like more of a fool. He needn't have worried, however, because Elizabeth brushed a hand across her eyes, and suddenly Will was at her side.

"That's enough for now, Elizabeth," Will said quietly. "James, let me escort you back to your ship..."

"No!" Two voices simultaneously chimed in low and fervently. Elizabeth and James looked at each other.

"We'll wait until dark, and raise anchor. Will they follow or attack?" Elizabeth glanced at James.

"Neither, if they follow orders." James shrugged.

Will sighed. "Very well, then I'll inform Pete that you'll be staying in his quarters. Elizabeth, please go rest." He gave her a pleading look.

James watched as Elizabeth stood and lay a hand against Will's cheek, then gave James the first smile he'd seen since he'd come aboard, before she crossed to the bed. James stood and at Will's gesture, led the way from the cabin. James was preoccupied with what Elizabeth had told him about Jack, and he absently walked to the first mate's quarters, where he stayed until it grew dark.

The plan went off smoothly, and by the next morning, they were by James's reckoning and memory of the previous voyage from Los Sueños, only a day's travel from the island. He wondered when Jack had taught the Turners to find the island; he'd been under the impression that they were unaware of the island's location last time, therefore the need to rendezvous with them before. He joined the Turners for the morning meal, but had apparently arrived after Elizabeth had eaten, as she didn't eat anything. James and Will talked of trivial things while they ate; but afterward, James was not surprised when Elizabeth indicated she wanted to continue their conversation from the day before. Will again distanced himself, this time grabbing a small book and sitting near the open window.

"You betrayed him, James, that's what it comes down to." Elizabeth apparently was going to pull no punches.

"I know. I realize that I have done a great deal of damage..." James began.

"You have no idea," Elizabeth interrupted. "Think about it. He left the Pearl to sail aboard the Sparrow's Song, for you. As far as I know, in the year and a half since he recovered the Black Pearl, that's the only time he has sailed aboard another boat. He took you to his island. He only took Will and me there after we picked him up in Port Royal." She paused.

James didn't say anything, merely watched Elizabeth. He was surprised to realize that he hadn't noticed how she'd matured. It seemed that he hadn't really looked at her for a long time. In much the same way he'd noticed that Will was no longer just a lad, he suddenly recognized that Elizabeth wasn't a flighty girl any longer, either. She'd become a courageous and confident woman, and for a moment James felt a pang of regret; that quickly passed and he was instead simply happy that she'd become a friend. James grasped the idea that she'd also proven everyone wrong; she hadn't outgrown her love of the freedom life on the seas provided, and never would.

"James, he was going to retrieve the Myrmidon for you. How do think we managed to find her so easily? We got the information in Tortuga, and the plans to capture her were already in place. And James... you missed part of that conversation. He told me that he was willing to compromise; he was planning on staying at Los Sueños, so he could hopefully see you. Now do you see?" Elizabeth asked, her eyes sad.

James ran a hand through his hair; he'd chosen not to dress formally today, and had left his wig and topcoat behind in the cabin where he'd slept. He assimilated all that Elizabeth had just told him, and suddenly all he could see in his mind was the shell in Jack's hair. The shell that James had picked up, and idly played with, and discarded; the shell that Jack had picked up and added to his collection of memories.

"So, how do I fix this, Elizabeth? I'm in deep water, and suddenly I feel like I can't swim." James honestly hoped she had some advice, because he was at a complete loss.

James endured Elizabeth's assessing gaze; it seemed like an eternity before she got up and crossed to a small chest near the bed. She opened the box, and pulled out two items. James watched curiously as she brought them back and sat back down. She looked at him appraisingly, and James had the feeling that this was her real moment of decision.

James was relieved when she slid an envelope and a small box across the table in his direction. Apparently he'd come down on the side of being trustworthy, something that humbled him more than he'd expected. He raised the flap on the envelope, and pulled out the parchment, and read the contents. Then he started in surprise.

"A Letter of Marque? With your father's signature. When did you get this?" James was certain it was recent; the Governor would have let him know if he'd pardoned Jack.

"We were returning from seeing my father when we came upon the Myrmidon." Elizabeth didn't elaborate.

James had another thought. "You have one of these as well, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Elizabeth looked away for a moment then met his gaze steadily. "You know we don't go out of our way to cross the law. But my father felt, and Will agreed, that too many things can happen out here. It's better to be safe than sorry."

James was again impressed with the fact that Elizabeth and Will were determined to live such a vagabond life, with no regrets and no apologies. Like Jack. James reached for the box, and carefully opened it. Nestled inside, shimmering on a bed of silk, lay a black pearl. It was a fairly large pearl, larger than most white pearls James had seen, and its iridescence left James speechless.

"Will picked that up in Tortuga. Some scallywag liberated it along with various other items from a Spanish galleon, or so he said. It seemed a fitting gift for the captain of the Black Pearl." Elizabeth smiled. "It's yours to give to him if you like. Just remember, I'm not even sure he'll accept the Letter of Marque, and Jack isn't so shallow that one bauble is going to win back his heart. But it's a place to start."

James ran a finger across the pearl. "Tell me something. Will told me you felt guilty for what happened to Jack. Why?"

Elizabeth's gaze dropped. "Because I encouraged him to believe in you."

James sighed. "So you were betrayed as well. I'm sorry for that."

Elizabeth met James's eyes. "There's no need. Just fix it."

James nodded silently. Finally, lost in thought, he made his excuses; taking the letter and the pearl with him, he went up on deck to work through everything Elizabeth had told him.

*****

After what seemed like hours more, she finally saw a longboat approach from the Black Pearl. She had asked Will to go invite Jack to join them for the evening meal; she knew that Jack would be least likely to decline if Will was doing the asking. Elizabeth was well aware that Jack no longer fancied Will as he had before; those feelings had been replaced with an unshakable friendship. Or so Elizabeth hoped, because that was about to be tested; Elizabeth wasn't completely sure Jack carried those feelings for anyone, anymore.

When the longboat reached the Song and Jack and Will came aboard, Elizabeth crossed to Jack and gave him a quick hug. Jack gave her a quick squeeze, and then gazed around the ship. Elizabeth linked her arm in Jack's, and making small talk, she let Will lead them to their cabin. Once there, she continued to prattle on mindlessly, until she could tell that Jack was starting to get suspicious.

With an innocent air, she turned to Will. "Will, love, can you go see how long until the food will be ready? I'm starting to get quite hungry."

Will nodded, and Elizabeth waited until her husband had departed before she turned back to Jack. She motioned to a chair before sitting herself. "I wanted to talk to you, Jack."

"I sort o' suspected that, luv. Ye've been itchin' for the lad to leave us alone since we came aboard. 'Ave ye finally decided to throw 'im over for meself, then?" Jack gave her a smile that was almost a Jack Sparrow smile of old.

Elizabeth laughed. "Not quite yet." She grew serious. "We brought you a gift of sorts. Just the sort of thing friends do for one another, wouldn't you say?"

Jack's eyes grew wary. "That 'o' sorts' 'as an ominous ring to it, that it does. What sort o' gift?"

"Well, we sort of ran across a ship on our way back here. And you know, we decided that we just couldn't come back without something to show for the encounter..." Elizabeth began to fidget just ever so slightly.

"Yer being very dissembling, luv, and that's not like ye. Spit it out, then." Jack cringed comically; he wasn't actually concerned.

"We brought you James Norrington." Elizabeth smiled winsomely.

Now Jack's face closed down, became a mask. "Did ye, then. Ye've definitely got the makings of a good pirate, that ye do. An' what would ye do that for?"

"Because you love him?" Elizabeth ventured hopefully.

"I don' know a thing about love, and that's a fact." Jack stated quietly.

"That's codswallop, Jack. What about before? You didn't feel that way then." Elizabeth badgered persistently.

A flicker of hurt shown through the mask that was Jack's expression, and Jack said softly, "'E was the center of me everything just then." The bland expression covered his face again, and he leaned back in his seat, adopting nearly the same posture that James had assumed in that very chair a few days before. "And 'e made it quite clear that 'e didn't care to be."

Elizabeth's heart wanted to break, but she merely leaned forward and touched Jack's hand. "Well, he wants to talk to you."

Jack shrugged. "'E could have talked to me when I spent me time in 'is infirmary. Apparently 'e didn't have anything to say then."

"You insisted you didn't want to talk to him! You told the surgeon not to let him in."

"'E didn't try very hard then, did 'e? I even stayed the whole week like the surgeon insisted." Jack's emotionless facade slipped again, just for a moment, this time displaying a tinge of disappointment mixed in with the hurt.

Elizabeth sighed. "Just talk to him, Jack, please?" At Jack's arched eyebrow, Elizabeth turned an ever so becoming shade of pink, and hurried on. "Yes, I know. I still feel horrid about that. But I wasn't wrong that time, even though it seems like it. And I'm not wrong now. Please, Jack? It will be good for you, if nothing else, and it would mean so much to Will and I." Elizabeth held her breath after playing her trump card.

Jack grumbled. "Fine, and then ye can take the commodore back to where ye found 'im. Savvy?"

Elizabeth grinned. "Savvy." After all, she could afford to be generous, now that she'd won.

*****

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