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Three years, two weeks, and six days
by Butterbuns
TITLE: Three years, two weeks, and six days
AUTHOR: Butterbuns
PAIRING: House/Cuddy
RATING: pg. 13
SUMMARY: Lovers reflect on past times
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not mine. Not mine.
Two months. Eight weeks. Sixty-one days. That's how long it took for her to fall in love. That's how long it was before he shattered her heart.
Three years, two weeks, and five days had passed since the day, but who was counting? She still remembered everything as if it had happened mere moments ago. She remembered the coldness in his eyes, and the heaviness in her heart when she looked at his face. She'd known that their relationship wouldn't last long. Not with his callous, uncaring side that came out so often. As much as it pained her to admit it, she had only gotten together with him for a fling and she'd made the mistake of falling in love.
Things had been strained between them for days, ever since he'd lost a patient because of a misdiagnosis. He'd tried to find someone else to blame it on, but at the end he only ended up pointing at himself. When she tried to find something to comfort him, even in the slightest, his eyes clouded over and his gaze seemed to drift away from her. She knew she should back off, knew she should give him time, but it wasn't in her nature then, and to be honest, isn't now. So, they went on, as they had been, her trying to get him to talk, him pushing her away, when finally he snapped. It seemed he'd had enough of her pep talks and of her caring about him.
He tried glaring at her, which obviously had no effect. Then the yelling started. For a solid week, whenever he saw her...he'd start to yell. And every time he did it would make her heart heavier and heavier. She knew what was coming, knew it was close, but she still wasn't prepared. Even after all the fights, all the hurtful words that they'd slung at each other...she'd still hoped they could have worked things out. She'd realized she loved him mere days before he'd dumped her.
He'd called her office, requesting her to meet him on the roof, supposedly to discuss a patient, but she knew. She knew as soon as she hung up that this would be the end of things between the. She knew and she hated it.
But she'd gone up to the roof, head held high, refusing to let him know that he was getting to her. She didn't see any point in arguing...so she didn't. She nodded once, before turning and walking across the roof, looking down slighting at the hospital's courtyard, fighting the tears she knew were bound to come. She felt as though she'd be cast aside like a used Kleenex, and she hated that feeling. He was the one man she never thought would be able to make her feel that way, but alas, life has it's little surprises.
She knew he was still up there, could feel his presence even if she wouldn't turn and look. And for that reason, and that reason only, she stayed up on the roof, facing away, letting the tears slowly slide down her face, before getting a hold of herself and going back to her office. She didn't need him, she could always find someone else. Someone who may just like her for her body, but someone who would like her nonetheless, and hopefully more than he did.
Starting a fling with him, she'd just wanted to feel. Anything really. But it was nothing like she'd expected. She'd fallen for him hard over the time she'd known him, and hadn't even come close to realizing it until she finally lost him for good. She knew she'd never get him back, having heard all the rumors about how he'd never restart a relationship with a woman unless the begged. And Lisa Cuddy would never beg for a man to take her back. Ever. It was demeaning and painful for any woman to do or watch, and she refused. He didn't want her...she'd get over him.
Three years, two weeks, and five days. That's how long she's been lying to herself about the feelings she has for him. That's how long she's been striving to have even minuscule feelings for anyone else. She knew it would never happen. She had completely given her heart over to Gregory House and he'd stomped on it. Even now, when she was curled up in bed trying to sleep she thought about him.
The thing she'd never know, the thing he'd never admit, is he was scared. He was terrified because he'd realized how strong his feelings for her were and he panicked. He unwittingly broke her heart, and his at the same time. The only thing he wished was that she'd talk to him like she used to. Like a friend, not his boss like she does. He knew he hurt her, but they were friends, good friends once, and he missed that. He missed her playful banter, and he missed the playful fights they'd occasionally get into...when he was well drugged and wouldn't feel the pain in his leg. He missed the smile she used to have. The one she seemed to reserve just for him. He'd never seen her smile that way at anyone else, and it took a half-hearted relationship and a painful, heartbreaking split for him to realize what it meant.
She'd loved him.
And he screwed up.
He knew that if he talked to her, made an attempt to reconcile, that they may have had a chance, but House wouldn't do that. They, or rather he, had made their choice, and that was that. Done was done, and there was nothing left to do about it.
Neither would admit they were wrong, neither would be the first to break, so they suffered in silence.
They both looked at the clock as it switched to twelve am.
Three years, two weeks, and six days.
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of Fox Television, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
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