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Spoon


by PokerPilotX


He waited for her to finish. Looked at her as if he knew what was coming and was daring her to say it. Just ask me. You know I'll do it, all you have to do is ask. She shook her head and turned to flee his office. "Is that all you came up here to say?" he halted her at the door. She couldn't look at him. "No," was all she said before swinging the door open and disappearing.

***

He asked an old friend earlier that day how he knew he was ready to be a father. This man who had lived his forty seven year old life like a frat boy since, well he was a frat boy, had recently discovered that fifteen years ago he impregnated a jazz musician's daughter and now that his daughter found him, he wants to be a daddy. House was skeptical. Of everything in general, but he could see this scam coming a mile away. This girl was no more his friend's daughter than Forman was House's son. And yet House could not get the way Cuddy looked at him before storming out of him office out of his head. He couldn't understand why she even wanted to have a baby. She was forty years old and unmarried. She was addicted to her career; a baby would only get in the way. He had told her earlier that day that her sperm donor should be someone she trusted and when she replied, "Someone like you?" he scoffed at her and told her it should be someone she liked. What a pratt. But when she walked into his office she was prepared to be vulnerable, ready to admit that she trusted him more than anyone and despite daily evidence to the contrary, she really did like him. A lot. Too much. That's why she couldn't do it. She couldn't risk that he would laugh at her. Not even a child was worth that. So here he stands on the sidewalk outside of her house watching as she methodically turns off every light except the one in her bedroom. He stepped forward and stood underneath her window. She started to undress and after an eternity House averted his eyes. She was pulling back the sheets when House tapped on the first story window with the hilt of his cane. She jumped and peered through the window. She knew it was him before she saw him. He had been there before. Not in a long time, but he had been there. She motioned him to the front door, and went around to meet him. "Why can't you just come to the door and knock?" She said as she ushered him inside. "Because then I wouldn't get to play peeping tom while you put on that smoke'n nighty." Cuddy glanced down at her revealing nightgown and crossed her hands over her breasts. "What are you doing here?" "You were going to ask me to have this baby with you." After an awkward silence, she opened her mouth to refute but he stopped her with a finger to her lips. "That wasn't a question," he said, "you were going to ask me. You lost your nerve earlier, that's why I'm here. To give you another chance." He dropped his hand. They were silent; standing facing one another in her foyer. "I can't," she whispered. "Why not?" "You told me to ask someone I like." "I was being glib." "House--" "We can do this. For whatever strange reason, you want a child in your life. Even stranger than that, I feel compelled to help you." "House--" "We've known each other a long time. I'm the only rational choice." "Greg." This stopped him. "You can't be my donor; it would complicate things too much. You're right I should do this with someone that I like, and I can't like you." "That's a bunch of bull." "No it's not. When I hired you I had to decide whether or not I was going to be your friend or your boss. I can't be both. You manipulate people. As your boss I have learned to deal with that character flaw; as your friend it hurts." He glanced at the floor, and she let her hands drop to her sides before breezing past him and swinging the door open. "Goodnight," she said. "I only manipulate you when I'm trying to save a life." Cuddy nodded. "Okay," he said.

***

Two months had passed since the surgery. Two months of living virtually without pain. For the most part. Two months of learning how to walk again and run even. Of watching his life change before his eyes. House stared at Cuddy through the glass panes of her office. She sat at her desk, fingers grazing a brown file folder and strands of curled dark hair falling over her face. She would do anything for him. Except let him in of course. He tapped lightly on the door and she looked up from whatever grant proposal or billing report she had been obsessing over and motioned him inside. "What's up?" He shrugged at her question and fell into a seat in front of her desk. "Just wanting to see how you are." Cuddy was caught off guard. Since he had come back to work after his surgery she had noticed a shift in his demeanor. It was subtle, barely noticeable to the casual acquaintance, but she knew. He had softened. However, his newfound sensitivity was not generally directed toward her, aside from occasionally thanking her, once again, for healing him. "I'm fine." "Did you take the test yet?" "What?" Cuddy asked, but of course already knew what he was referring to. "You know I don't need you to keep on top of my schedule for me. I'm perfectly capable--" "Did you take it?" He asked again more forcefully. Cuddy clenched her jaw and shook her head. "When I get home." "Why wait," he said and produced a brown paper bag from his jacket pocket. He tossed it in front of her and the early pregnancy test spilled out into her lap. She picked it up carefully and turned it over in her hands. "I wanted to do this in private." "We are in private." He waived his hand around her empty office. "I mean in private without you." "Well that's stupid," he said. "If it's bad news you're gonna cry and if it's good news your gonna want to hug someone." "In either event I don't want you around. This is none of your business House." "None of my business?" "Yes none of your business. Whatever is happening with me and this baby or not happening as the case may be has nothing to do with you." House flashed a hurt look in his eyes for a brief moment then straightened. "Are we leaving at around six?" Cuddy broke his stare. "Um, actually I was planning on taking off early. Why don't you get Wilson to drive you home? Or better yet run it yourself, that seems to be helping you." House's ice blue eyes darkened slightly. "Because the DT's are worse in the evening, making it harder to run, and because Wilson's naked body against my back doesn't quite give the same effect. He's all hairy and rough." Cuddy blushed and glanced up to make sure no one standing around her office heard him. It wasn't what they would think but try explaining that to them. This hospital staff was worse with gossip than a supermarket tabloid. "Fine," she said. "Six." *** Cuddy moved around his kitchen with ease and familiarity. Drying dishes, putting them away. Wrapping leftovers in individual containers for lunch tomorrow. She rarely cooked for him anymore but as she steeled herself to tell him that this would be the last meal, the last ride home, the last night in his bed, she thought it would be best to take extra care of him tonight. She was wrong. Her actions tipped House off and even more than that the stony way she walked around him avoiding his eyes. Two months ago House checked himself out of the hospital AMA only four days after his surgery. The pain in his leg was fading but his neck and abdomen were another story. And because he had been put through a rapid detox procedure to get all of the Vicodin out of his system he couldn't take any pain medication at all. He checked himself out of the hospital with the intention of hitting his stash at home. What he didn't know was that while he was under, Cuddy had gone to his house and cleared out any traces of drugs. Even the morphine he kept in a locked box on top of his bookshelf was gone. She had driven him home that night and stood in his doorway taking his abuse after he found out that there was no longer any drugs to be found. Then she cooked for him, undressed him and put him to bed. He shivered under the covers. Convulsed was more like it. And when he finally did find sleep he whimpered most of the night. Eventually Cuddy couldn't stand it any longer. She undressed and slid into bed next to him. She curled herself around him and after her warmth spread through him his tremors went away. He rested easy for a long time and when his leg twitched and pain shot trough him she was there to hold him and rub his leg until the pain subsided and he went back to sleep. In the morning, Cuddy woke dressed and went home to get ready for work while House was still asleep. Cameron went to House's home that day and fretted over him. He smiled appreciatively at her and didn't mention what Cuddy had done for him the night before. When Cuddy came back to check on him that night he dismissed Cameron. Cuddy took his temperature and changed his bandages. "Okay," she said when she had finished, "You're looking better. Temp's normal, no infection." "Yeah, you know I'm a doctor too." "Yes but I'm your doctor." She said. "Do you have everything you need? When was that last time you ate?" "Cameron has been here all day. I've been eating fine." Cuddy nodded. "Okay, I'll come `round and check on you tomorrow then." "No," he said. "No?" "Stay. Stay here with me. Like you did last night." At this he couldn't look at her. "It helps me feel...calm." Cuddy glanced around the room. Then nodded. "I need to run home and get some things. I'll come back before you go to bed." And she did. When she returned that night he was already naked and under the covers. He wasn't asleep but he wasn't facing her. She undressed without a word and slid in the bed behind him. She spooned her body around his and rested her hand on his mangled thigh. He relaxed into her and slept, almost uninterrupted until morning. This became routine over the next week. She would leave work and go home then come and sleep in his bed with him at night and go to work the next morning. A week later when House returned to work she would drive him home, then go to her house, then come back at bedtime. They didn't talk about it. She was helping him heal. Eventually it became comfortable enough for them to look at one another. For him to roll over and hold her in the mornings before they separated and went to the hospital. But that was it. No kissing. No touching that was not of a purely medicinal or platonic nature. And as he began to feel better, she began to see the absurdity of what they were doing. Cuddy hadn't noticed that House had walked away from her and when she found him he was naked, lying on his couch. "What are you doing?" "My beds getting a little bit of a bow in it. I thought we could sleep here tonight." He held out his hands to her. "Come on in." Cuddy looked away from him. "I'm going home tonight. I haven't slept in my bed in almost two months." "You want us to start staying at your place?" "No," she said, "I want you to stay here while I go stay at my place." "I see." He grabbed a throw resting on the back of the couch and covered himself. "Come on Greg. There's no reason for this anymore. You were over your post op pain a week after you left the hospital and you haven't had any night pains in your leg in almost a month. That crap about residual DT's is just an excuse. You're clean and my presence here is--" "necessary." He sat up. "I sleep better with you next to me. Every night that you've been away since I got out of the hospital has been restless. When you're here I sleep. It's just like Wilson said, about physical connections. That was the whole point of the Ketameen; to make my pain go away so that I would stop using it as an excuse not to be close to people." Cuddy picked up her coat. "That's not why I was here. If a personal connection is what you are looking for maybe you should get Cameron to come and sleep with you." That last part had come out a little more bitter than she had intended. She shook her head and opened the door to leave. "I asked her out on a date today you know." Cuddy did know. And she didn't want House to open up to her about it but it seemed he was going to anyways. She closed the door and sat down on the coffee table across from him. "She's the only woman since Stacy that has shown any interest in me that I didn't have to pay for. She's sweet. All the things I hate about her as a doctor would make her a wonderful girlfriend. Now that I'm not in pain anymore, I can see if her interest in me was really me or if it was my disability." "Good." "You thought it was a good idea when she asked me out before." "I think it's a good idea now." "You're lying." "I'm not. Though I told you there is a possibility your pain could come back." "That's why I need to do this now." "And if the pain does come back? Will you push her away?" "Of course I will." "Then what are you doing?" "I have to stop living on `ifs.' if the pain comes back, if I push her away. All those things could and probably will happen. It helps to know that whatever g oes down, you'll be there to pick up the pieces." Cuddy halted. She reached out and touched his newly shaven face. "And if I do stay and things do work out with the two of you? What will you tell her about our little slumber parties?" "I had not actually thought of that." "Well, maybe you should." "You're not wanting to leave because of Cameron. You want to leave for the same reason that you don't want me involved in your in-vetro..." Her face whitened when he said "in-vetro" and he caught it without a missing a beat. "Did you take the test?" He asked. She nodded and looked away from him. "and?" "Positive," she nearly whispered. "It was positive. I'm pregnant." House smiled. "That's great. It's so great." When she didn't return his smile he tipped her chin up toward him. "What?" "I know this is ridiculous now but...I was just thinking that I may have made a mistake." "You don't want a baby now?" "No, of course I still want a baby. It's just..." "The father." Cuddy looked up and met his eyes. She nodded. "Yes. The situation isn't perfect but no one wants to do this alone. I wish I would have been in love." "You're too successful to be in love." She swallowed. She resented the idea that she couldn't be a powerful woman and a wife; that it had to be one or the other. But in a sense, she knew he was right. "But," he said, "there's still time for that. And if it makes you feel any better, you won't ever be alone." Cuddy wiped a tear that had started to form in the corner of her eye. "I'm gonna go." *** "You've been taking pain killers." House glanced up from the 19" television sitting in the corner of his office, replaying Monster Truck Mania, to find a very pregnant Lisa Cuddy leaning in against his door jam. "Shut the door," he said, with no attempts to deny the accusations. She did as he asked then turned back to him. "You went through a rapid detox. You could very easily overdose and die." He didn't answer, just leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "Is the pain coming back?" Still no response. "If you aren't in pain, then the drugs are not going to level you out. You're just getting stoned, and you can't treat patients doped out of your mind. Has the pain been coming back?" House opened his eyes and sat up. "I wouldn't treat patients stoned." "Then why the drugs?" "I've been getting headaches. How did you know?" "A cop came to visit me today." House rolled his eyes. "Don't dismiss this. He said he busted you for possession without a prescription. If you were really in pain you would have asked me or Wilson or Cameron to write you something." "I don't want her to know. And Wilson would be overly concerned and you--" "Would see right through you." She shook her head. "You have to stop Greg. I don't care what made you start using again, you have got to stop now." He looked past her at Cameron who peeked her head in the door. "Hey," she said. "Hey." The smile that he gave her was forced. Cuddy had seen it a hundred times before with Stacy. "Are we done here?" "Not even close," Cuddy said as she turned and walked out of the office. "What was that about?" Cameron asked, entering his office and moving around his desk sliding her hands down his shoulders. "Nothing. Cranky pregnant lady had no one to go and get her pickles and ice cream. I told her I'd send Chase for fifty bucks." She laughed and bent down to kiss him. "Did you ever find out who she chose for the baby's father?" House tensed slightly then shook his head. "Anonymous donor, I couldn't find anything." "Hmm. Never thought I'd see the day that there would be some dirt you couldn't dig up." "What can I say, I must be loosing it. What'cha got there?" Cameron pulled a file folder from behind her back. "We got a case." *** "You pulled my authorization again! What the hell did I do this time? Was I five minuets late for clinic duty?" House slammed the door to her office behind him. "Stop yelling." "I have a very very sick little girl--" "boy." "Whatever. Who is going--" "To die. I know a very very sick person's going to die unless you get a CT scan. I told you I`m not going to let you treat patients while your'e using drugs. Your judgment is impaired. Before there was a medical reason for it but now...I'm putting you on suspension. Indefinitely, until you get yourself cleaned up and can prove to me that you can stay clean." "No! What about--" "Forman can take over until you recover." "You can't. Look I'm fine, I just need something to take the edge off. Obviously the detox didn't work the first time. I can't go through that again." "The detox did work before. You were completely clean for months. What happened was you got bored. Bored with you patients, bored with Cameron, bored with you life. The pills are a change. Stoned is not boring. But it is dangerous and I'm not going to let you do it to yourself, your patients or this hospital." House shook his head. He dropped down into a nearby chair. "I really can't go through that again." "You're going to have to find a way. You're going to end up right back where you were, a full blown drug addict. You're being irresponsible. If you value this job you're going to have to quit." House rested his forehead on the edge of Cuddy's desk. "Then you have to help me?"

***

Forman walked into the office around 10:30am to find Cameron sitting at their conference table alone. "Hey. Where's everybody at?" She was staring at the white board and didn't look over at him. "Chase is checking on our patient, you are two hours late, and Cuddy made House go home." "Cuddy made House leave? Why?" Cameron tapped her nails on the table. "He didn't tell me. He left you in charge of the case." She motioned to a brown file folder at the edge of the table. Forman walked over and picked it up. He began leafing through the pages, but paused when he realized Cameron was still staring at the same blank white board. "Speaking of nasty air-born infections," he said closing the file, "How are things with you and House?" "Fine," she answered flatly. "Right." "What?" "Nothing. That was just the most unconvincing `Fine' I've ever heard." Cameron looked back at the board. Forman shook his head and turned to leave. "He's pushing me away," she said. "He thinks I can't see it coming but I know." Forman came back to the table and sat down beside her. "I'm sorry," he said. She nodded, regretting that she had said say thing. "Can't really say I'm surprised though." At this she did look up at him. "What? Why not?" "Because, House has always done exactly what he wanted to do. If he has decided that he doesn't want you, there's nothing that you can do that's gonna change his mind." "I changed his mind before." "No the surgery changed his mind. You were just there." She took a deep breath. She knew Forman was right. House always did exactly what he wanted to. She was just hoping that what he wanted would always be her. "What should I do?" she asked him. "Why are you asking me?" "Because you are the one who stumbled into my nightmare and started asking questions." He nodded. "Okay. If I were you, I would try to find out what is going on with him." "And if he won't tell me?" "Find out from someone else. Wilson or Cuddy. Or else you walk away from him before he walks away from you."

*** Cameron walked into Cuddy's office; quietly shutting the door behind her. "Why did you send him home?" Cuddy looked up from her desk and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. When she didn't answer right away Cameron walked over to the desk and leaned down on it. "I need to know what's going on with him; I think I have a right." "Well then you need to go and ask him." "I tried," she said looking a little embarrassed, "He's avoiding me." Cuddy exhaled slowly. She sympathized with Cameron. Pitied her was more like it. She had seen this before and knew what would come next. She wished she could somehow warn the younger woman but she also knew that that wouldn't do any good. "I'm sorry," she said, "I wish I could help you, but I'm his doctor. He's got confidentiality and he asked me not to talk about it with anyone." "So it's a medical problem?" "Cameron--" "Is it his leg? Is the pain coming back?" "You're with him every night. If the pain in his leg was returning you would be the first one to know about it." Cuddy paused. "Have you noticed anything like that?" Cameron frowned and shook her head. "No. He's just been a little distant. A little secretive. But he hasn't been acting like he's in pain or anything like that." Cuddy nodded. "Any headaches?" "No. Why are you asking?" Cuddy shook her head. "No reason. Look I'm sorry that he's not talking to you about this, but you had to have expected this might happen." Cameron shook her head. "Why does everyone keep saying that?" She walked out of the office and as soon as the door swung shut behind her Cuddy picked up the phone. Cuddy's home machine picked up after the fifth ring. "House it's me, pick up." A few moments of silence and he answered the phone. "Yeah?" "Cameron was just here." "You didn't tell her anything did you?" "No. But I think you should." "That's not your call." His voice was ragged and his breathing hard. "How are you?" she asked. "You haven't taken anything have you?" "No," he said. "But I think you need to come back here." "Why, what's wrong?" "I'm seeing black spots, I'm dizzy and--" he broke off. "Something...ah it hurts." "Your leg?" She was growing more alarmed. He hadn't been off the drugs long enough for him to be suffering withdrawals already. "No," he said, "Everywhere." ***

When Cuddy arrived back at her house she found House curled up on her bathroom floor. The room smelled of vomit; some which had made it into the toilet, some not. She squatted down as best she could over her mammoth stomach and placed a hand on his arm to let him know she was home. "Come on, we need to get you cleaned up then I want to take a look at you. Something's not right if you are already experiencing pain and nausea after only four hours." He groaned as he pushed himself off of the floor. Cuddy wet a washcloth with cool water and pressed it to his forehead. She pulled off his soiled t- shirt and went to fetch a new one from his overnight bag. House sat on the closed toilet seat and cradled his head in his hands. Cuddy was walking back through her bedroom to the bathroom when a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. She grabbed her stomach and curled over her bed. "Ah! God!" "It's okay," House called from the bathroom. "I'm feeling a little better now." "Not you," she called back. "Something's wrong." "Wrong?" "With the baby." House was instantly on his feet and at her side. "What is it?" Cuddy clutched her stomach tighter and closed her eyes. "I'm not sure, but I think I'm going into labor." "Labor? You're only 32 weeks," Cuddy looked up at him glaring. "Would you please stop arguing with me and call an ambulance?" House looked down and touched a damp dark spot on her carpet, and trailed it up her thigh and between her legs. "I don't think this is labor," he said. "You're bleeding."

*** At the hospital, House stood, nervous and agitated, outside Cuddy's room, explaining what had happened that afternoon to an anxious OB/GYN. He didn't take his eyes off her while talking to the doctor who peppered him with reassurances and attempted to explain her condition. "Look I told you what was wrong with her, I don't need you to spit it back at me. We need to deliver that baby before she bleeds to death! Why are you still standing here?" "House!" Wilson was making his way down the hall when he heard House shouting at the young doctor. "I heard Cuddy was brought in. What happened?" "Her placenta ruptured. We have to deliver the baby now, but Doogy Houser over there won't stop arguing with me." "Arguing about what?" House looked back over at Cuddy who had blacked out but was starting to come around. "I want to deliver the baby." "You mean you want to be in the delivery room?" "No. That would imply that I had some sort of place in this birth. That would imply that this is my damn business, which Cuddy has made perfectly clear to me is not the case." House folded his arms over his stomach. "there's something else." "What?" "I'm in pain. I've been taking drugs, and I got off this morning, but the withdrawal symptoms have been progressing faster than they should. I need you to draw some blood, do some tests." Wilson shook his head. He wanted to yell at House, wanted to scorn him for self-destructing, but he knew that, in this moment at least, it would do more harm than good. He simply nodded. "I'll go and get a syringe. But if you are sick or in pain you shouldn't be trying to deliver her baby. Just...just ask her if you can be in the room." "I wouldn't hurt her," he said. Wilson nodded. "I'll go get a syringe."

After Wilson left, House stood outside of Cuddy's room, leaning on the door jam. He watched her until she turned her head and met his gaze. She smiled at him softly and tilted her head, granting him permission to come inside. He limped over to her bedside and sat down on the bed. "The baby's going to be delivered soon. He'll be a little early but they've got the NICU on stand-by and they've slowed your bleeding so--" Cuddy stopped him with a hand on his. "You're shaking," she said. "Are you having any cold sweats? How's the nausea?" House looked down at her hand on his. He was shaking. But not from the drugs. He balled his hand into a fist and struggled to steady his nerves. "You know, I didn't get a chance before all of this, but I was going to ask you to perform the delivery for me." "Was. Before. I wouldn't want a drug addict delivering my child either. I mean if it was mine." "Yeah. But I wouldn't mind if you stuck around. If you're feeling up for it. It would be okay with me." House stared at her for a moment. He couldn't help himself. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then as he was pulling back he felt her hands move up to grip his arms. He came close to her face so that his nose was nearly touching hers. "I told you, you wouldn't be doing this alone." He whispered. Then he pressed his lips to hers. A small tap on the glass door broke them apart, and the two looked up to find Cameron standing in the doorway. She was looking down at the floor. "Sorry," she said, then glanced up at House. "Wilson said he's ready for you if want to him to run those tests now." ***

"That must have been awkward." Wilson pulled off the tourniquet and handed him a cotton ball. "I'll talk to her later," he said. "What's more awkward is that I actually kissed Cuddy. I had my lips on the anti-Christ." "Can you believe in an anti-Christ if you don't believe in Christ?" "I'm not even sure how that happened." "You know you used to be slightly more convincing with that `Cuddy is the root of all evil' spiel. I think someone's starting to like someone." "You're an idiot." House stood up and started making his way back to Cuddy's room. ***

"I've got good news and bad news, Dr. Cuddy." Dr. Wesley, Cuddy's OB said as he finished up his examination. "The good news is, it looks like you're going to be able to have a vaginal delivery. The bad news is, Dr. House is insisting on scrubbing in. Apparently he thinks an OB/GYN needs an infectious disease specialist's help with delivering a baby." Cuddy smiled. "Don't take it personally. He'll stay out of your way, he's just..." She hesitated. Worried? "bored. He doesn't have any cases and the idea of seeing me in extreme pain just makes his day." She glanced up as House walked into the room. "Jokes on him, though; I've got an epidural on the way as we speak." House walked over to a chair a nurse had brought for him and sat down, kicking his feet up on Cuddy's bed. "If I know that kid, and I think I do," he said, "he's not going to let a little thing like an epidural stop him from inflicting the kind of pain and suffering you deserve." He smiled. "Are you ready?"

Wilson peeked his head into the delivery room six hours later, and motioned House outside. He told Cuddy he'd be right back. "She's at nine centimeters; she'll be ready to start pushing soon." "I've never seen you like this before." Wilson said. "you've barely left her side." "Not true. I'm at your side right now. Why is that by the way?" Wilson pulled a sheet of paper with lab results out of a folder he was carrying. "Your blood test," he said. "You're allergic to Vicodin." House stared at him blankly then rolled his eyes. "Never send an oncologist to do a diagnosticians job." He took the results out of Wilson's hands and scanned over them. "Wait a minuet." "Something must have happened during your surgery--" "The Ketamein." House said, "combined with the meds used in the detox procedure created an allergy to opiates. Shit." "You're lucky you got off the drugs when you did, or your wouldn't be just feeling nauseous and achy, you'd be dead. Here." He pulled a pill bottle out of his jacket and tossed them at House. "Anti-biotics. Nothing for the pain. Looks like you are going to have to figure out a new way to manage that. Or else find a way to be happy so that it will go away for good." House swallowed a pill then walked back into the room without another word."

Back at Cuddy's side he took her hand and she looked up at him. "How are you?" She asked him. "It's not what you think. That was real medicine I was taking out there." "Okay," she said. "But how are you?" The room had gotten very quiet. The doctor and nurses had all disappeared and the two were alone. "I'm nervous as hell," he admitted then smoothed her frazzled hair out of her face. "Me too." "Have you picked out a name yet?" "No, not yet. I'm not getting a very good start am I?" "Nope," House quipped. "You're shaping up to be a pretty retched mother already. I feel sorry for this kid." Dr. Wesley poked his head back in the door. "Okay," he said, "time to start pushing."

Forty-minuets later, House was standing outside the NICU and staring at Cuddy's baby. Ten fingers, ten toes, one penis, no hair. Blue eyes. Cuddy had passed out shortly after they took the baby to clean him up and clear his airways. House had left and was on his way to find Cameron when he wandered past the nursery window and spotted the baby. An hour and a half ago. A social worker approached him. " I was going to and get the information for the baby's birth certificate from Dr. Cuddy, but she was sleeping." "Yeah," he said. "long day." "Has she settled on a name yet do you know?" House shook his head. "No...she..." He looked over at the baby. If he was a cartoon, little devil horns would've been growing out of his head. "um, yeah actually yeah she has." "Oh great. I won't have to wake her" She took out her pen and opened Cuddy's file. "What is it?" House glanced in at the baby, who was wiggling in his bassinet. "Gregory James Cuddy."

*** House at alone in his office, staring out his window trying to decide what to do next. His leg was throbbing again, but he couldn't go home because there were too many drugs there. He couldn't go to Cuddy's because eventually she was going to find out what he did and come gunning for him. It was best, he thought, to stay in a public place. Lots of witnesses. He heard a light rap on his window. Cameron. Only she could knock on a window with so much concern and restrained rage. He didn't turn around but raised his hand and motioned her inside. He listened as she clicked the door shut and walked across the room. She didn't walk around to face him or perch on the edge of his desk like she normally would, she just sat in a chair and waited for him to speak. After a few moments House spun his chair around to face her. "You're angry," he said. "Why would you think that?" "Because--" "Could it be because you started using drugs again behind my back, instead of telling me what you were going through? Then maybe because you left work all of a sudden with no explanation and started avoiding my calls and the next time I saw you, you're kissing our boss in this hospital?" "yeah, something along those lines." Cameron shook her head and made a disgusted sound. "Everybody keeps telling me that I should have seen this coming, that I should have known it would come to this eventually." "They're absolutely right. Wilson and Cuddy have known me longer than anyone in my life. They know me about as well as I would let anyone, and there are still things I keep from them. Cuddy found out on her own that I was using again. So yes, if you knew me at all you should have seen this coming." Cameron looked away from him and swiped at a tear that had started to form in the corner of her eye. "But," House continued, "I knew all along that this might not last and I never warned you. That was wrong and I'm sorry." "You knew and you got involved with me anyway?" "You made me happy for a while. You made me see that it was okay for me to have a relationship; that it was okay to let myself be happy." "Then what has changed? Is something going on between you and Cuddy?" "No." he said quickly, "but there is something going on with me. When you and I got together I was happy because I had someone finally. But there was no spark there. You changed the second we became romantic, you wouldn't stand up to me, you didn't want to argue with me, you didn't even want to express your opinions on a case out of fear that I would disagree with you." "I--" "It's in your nature to try and please people, and you are a good person for it. But I need that fire. Otherwise, I start to act like...well like I have been acting the last few weeks." "You think that Cuddy wouldn't change if you two started sleeping together?" "I know she wouldn't." "How?" "Because, she never changed before." Cameron's mouth dropped open slightly. House decided that if nothing else, he owed her the truth. He was going to turn into the biggest jerk in the world tomorrow until he got back the doctor he hired, but tonight he should be honest. "I need to know I can trust you," he said. She nodded. "You can." "After my leg...after Stacy left me, but before I started working at the hospital, she and I got involved. She left me when she made the decision to hire me, because she knew that she was going to have to fight with me and scream at me and keep me in line, and she also knew at the time that I wasn't ready to have a relationship like that. That I would use it to try and manipulate her. She was right back then, but not anymore." "What changed?" "That baby that she just gave birth to," he said and Cameron nodded. "That baby is mine." Again Cameron's mouth dropped open. "Yours? But I thought she was using in-vetro." "She did. At first she refused to let me be her donor, but after the surgery she finally agreed with the understanding that I would not be involved in the baby's birth or life in anyway, not medically, not emotionally, nothing. I was her anonymous donor. That is my son lying in that nursery." Cameron shook her head. "You're a jerk." "Yeah, that seems to be a popular opinion." "Thank you for being honest with me. Eventually." "Thank you for helping me get my life back." "Just don't screw it up." Cameron stood up and walked away from him. She wiped her eyes again as she left his office. As she turned the corner she jumped. Forman was standing in front of her with two cups of coffee. He handed her one of them. "What are you doing?" she asked, more surprised than upset. "Waiting for you," he said. "When I saw you walk into House's office I thought you might need to talk." Cautiously she took the coffee from him. "Thanks." *** House pulled his briefcase from under his desk. He decided he had to go home eventually. Maybe he would swing by Wilson's office and ask him to come over and help rid the apartment of pain killers. He started piling things inside, including the copy of the birth recorder's submission for the baby's birth certificate. He shook his head. Gregory James Cuddy. It could have been worse. He could have given him House as the last name. A smile spread across his lips and he wondered if it was too late to call the social worker. "HOUSE!" He spun around to find Cuddy, wild eyed, and flustered, her hair spiraling in every direction, barefoot and wearing the flannel pajamas he had brought up in her overnight bag. "Hey," he said lightly, "you're awake, how's the baby?" "Gregory James Cuddy!?" "It's got a nice ring to it doesn't it?" "Are you insane? What could you possibly have been thinking? You have so crossed a line!" "Look, I'm sorry okay, I wasn't really thinking--" "I think that's pretty obvious! Now what am I supposed to tell people when they ask me why on earth I would give my child your name?" "I put Wilson's name in there too, just to throw them off--" "That's not what it does, House. Why would you do something like that? We agreed that you would not involve yourself in his life." "I'm not involved. He'll never have to know where his name came from if you don't want him to--" "Not involved? You branded my child! Now I won't be able to talk to him without thinking about you." That was all House needed. He walked around the desk and stood close, hovering above her. "I got to him first. You snooze, you loose. Actually literally in this case." "You pick up that phone right now, call the social worker and tell her that you lied, and that I haven't yet settled on a name." He reached out and fingered an errant strand of her curly chocolate hair. Cuddy swatted at his hand and pointed to the phone. "You don't really want me to do that." He said. "Excuse me?" His grin was wider than Cuddy had ever seen it. "You don't want to change little Greg's name--" "Yes I do, and don't you call him that!" "You never wanted me to stay out of his life, or yours. All you wanted was for me to want to be involved." Cuddy tried to walk out on him but he grabbed her arm and spun her around. "you didn't want to have this baby with me because you do love me. Just like I love you. You needed to know that, to know I was ready to have a family before you could trust me enough to let me into your life for good." Cuddy opened her mouth but no sounds came out. Her eyes moistened as House pulled her to him. He hugged her and stroked her hair. "I guess we're kindred spirits that way," she said against his chest. He smiled and tipped her chin up so she could look him in the eye. "I guess we are." He kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body firmly against his. His arms went around her waist, clutching her; threatening to never release her, he slid his hands up her back and into her hair. Three weeks later Gregory Cuddy was healthy enough to leave the hospital. His parents took him home and they fought all the way. About closet space, about where Steve McQueen would live, about why she wouldn't okay his patient's exploratory brain surgery, and about whether or not it was okay for him to call her "sugar lips" at work. Then at the end of that first night, after they tucked their infant son in his bassinet House sat at his piano and played for her, sang for her even, and when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him...for the first time in years, Dr. House, finally and permanently felt no pain.

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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.