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Mean Clowns
by Michelle Christian
"I'm really not doing this on purpose," Wilson said, less defensive than resigned. House had recommended this particular exhibit, and when Wilson had looked it up (because he was trusting, not an idiot), it had sounded interesting and a perfectly acceptable second date option.
Cuddy smiled slightly and looked at him innocently. "Doing what?" she asked.
"There are possibly too many penises on our dates," he pointed out.
They both turned to look at the neon figures of clown soldiers, penises going from flaccid to erect with each goose step.
"I can't honestly say I've ever complained about that before," Cuddy said dryly, smiling out him sideways as they turned to walk to the next installation. "Although it does lend a certain validity to some of those rumors about you and House."
Wilson blinked and stopped where he was. "Excuse me?" he asked. There had been a sign at the beginning of the exhibit, explaining that some people became disoriented by the constant flashing of the neon. Maybe he was having an epileptic episode.
Cuddy looked at him as if wondering if he was joking. "Oh, please, you have to know what they say," she said incredulously.
"Depends on who they are and what they're saying," he said suspiciously, not willing to commit himself to anything. Years with House had taught him that.
"You're not deaf," Cuddy scoffed, turning to the image before her of a Hangman game--with more penises. "You're also not an idiot, no matter what House has told you in the past."
"Trust me, my idiocy has been corroborated by other sources. My ex-wife was pretty clear on it, in fact," he insisted, watching the image flashing before his face. "I'm disturbed by the penis-clown connection."
"Does make you wonder about childhood trauma," she agreed before turning to him. "You really don't know about the rumors?" she asked.
Wilson was starting to get uncomfortable. Okay, he was starting to get more uncomfortable. "If you're talking about the jokes about me being House's wife, I can assure you he hasn't been doing his husbandly duties." As jokes went, it would have worked better if he hadn't freaked out earlier, he realized.
"Uh-huh," Cuddy said, obviously not buying it, with a little secret smile.
"What? It's not like we're joined at the hip," he insisted.
"Not what I've heard," she said, still smiling, looking at the final piece, a picture of two clowns, red phalluses dangling, as one pulled his hand back as the other leaned forward to shake with him. "House would love this," she noted with a wry note to her voice.
Wilson watched her face, lovely even in the reflected flashing reds and yellows of the artwork. "Then there are the rumors about you and him," he said casually, while he suddenly his mind was filled by strong images of bodies, one smooth and soft, the other all sharp angles, entwined and under his hands.
Her smile sharpened, turned wicked in a way that went straight through him, familiar and loved even though he'd never seen it on her face. "Rumors sometimes have a grain of truth," she pointed out, and was that his imagination that she was leaning towards him?
He felt himself going forward, leaning into her closer and closer. "If all of these rumors are true, you know it wouldn't make much sense for us to be dating," he pointed out quietly.
She smiled wider. "I told you I'd never complain about too many penises," she said, and suddenly turned and walked away.
Wilson stood for a moment, slightly stunned, then smiled to himself and followed.
This was going to be interesting.
*
Notes: Inspired by "House Training" and by me going to see the Bruce Nauman neon exhibit over at the Henry Art Gallery (some photographs of which can be found here at a different museum's site).
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Legal Disclaimer: The authors published here make no claims on the ownership of Dr. Gregory House and the other fictional residents of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Like the television show House (and quite possibly Dr. Wilson's pocket protector), they are the property of NBC/Universal, David Shore and undoubtedly other individuals of whom I am only peripherally aware. The fan fiction authors published here receive no monetary benefit from their work and intend no copyright infringement nor slight to the actual owners. We love the characters and we love the show, otherwise we wouldn't be here.
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